Kuala Lumpur is probably the only city I know that has the word “Welcome” proudly displayed on their taxis, when in actual fact what they REALLY meant was…
“Welcome. Except when you want to go to Bangsar during peak hours, then you’re not welcome.”
“Welcome. Sure, I’ll drive you from Kelana Jaya LRT Station to One Utama. And you’re welcome to pay me an extra RM2 for that service. Meanwhile, I’ll pretend to ignore that bright yellow shuttle bus right in front of my taxi that’s gonna take you to your destination FOR FREE.”
“Welcome. Here at KL International Airport, our taxi drivers make you feel very welcome by loitering around the arrival hall, and making kissing sounds at you to draw your attention.”
“Welcome. I’m a taxi driver and I don’t know where Sheraton Hotel is despite the fact that it’s a major international hotel located right smack in the center of the city. No worries though, you’re still welcome onboard while I drive around the block pretending to know where it is, until I finally succumbed to my taxi driver ego and asked for directions.”
“Welcome. You’re welcome to load your own luggage into my car boot YOURSELF while I sit my lazy ass in the car not lifting a finger.”
“Welcome. Our taxis say ‘Bermeter’ (meter in use), but you are more than welcome to ignore that.”
“Welcome. Wait… what? You want to go to some ulu out-of-town suburb? Sorry, not welcome!”
“Welcome. I’m a multi-lingual taxi driver, and you are welcome to hear me swear, in 5 different languages, at that fucking pukima who just cut into my lane.”
Next time you take a taxi in our nation’s capital, be prepared to feel very, very welcome.
It’s my birthday today. I’m officially 23 years old.
When I was 22 years old, I…
– was working comfortably as a software engineer in Perth.
– welcomed my baby niece Kirsten into this world on Christmas Day.
– started kennysia.com in January.
– tendered my resignation, just 2 months after receiving a nice payrise.
– sold everything and left Perth for good in March.
– left my girlfriend alone in Perth, just days after her Australian permanent residency was approved.
– returned to Kuching, and experienced culture shock.
– started a brand new career.
– started that whole she-bang on coconuts.
– discovered the Kuching Shuffler.
– spent a lot of time in the hospital and at home caring for my father.
– lost my father to cancer in May.
– was named Blogger of the Year at the PPS Anniversary Bash in June.
– was given an earful by my family after they found out that I kept a blog. Password-protected my more personal posts as a result. I still don’t like people discussing with my family members what I write in here, because I get into trouble everytime that happens.
– found out I have a desperate addict.
– attended Singapore’s first ever blog conference in July. Caused a ruckus in the VIP room.
– invented the word Bloglitics.
– snuck into the Miss Tourism Pageant.
– wrote the still very popular kennysia.com English-Benglish Translator in August.
– wanted to go back to Perth. Felt helpless that my girlfriend and I are drifting apart.
– raised over RM5,000 for charity together with minishorts, suanie, Peter Tan and Shaolin Tiger.
– took a semi-hiatus from blogging in September as I embarked on a major project.
< - fell sick and developed strange rash.
– wrote a long-winded social commentary on patriotism, which turned out to be my most popular entry yet.
– revisited Perth in October.
– met Lena Fonseka and got my foot in mouth.
– tried the Detox Diet, and failed the very next day.
What an emotional rollercoaster ride my 23rd year has been. One thing for sure, I’m glad it’s all over. And now I wonder what’s in store for me in this coming year.
It’s my birthday and I’m sitting here in an Internet Cafe in KL. If you’ll excuse me, I need to party.
I totally dig Singapore’s nightlife.
Sure, compared to back home, alcohol in SG may cost twice as much and the midnight charges for taxis are horrendous. In the end, it’s the crowd and company that make a great night out. The Singaporeans I met sure know how to partayyyy.
Zouk’s Mambo Night
Wednesday nights in Singapore are special.
It is when all the Uni and College babes come out and play, and old farts like me
play with ourselves watch them play. Their playground is Zouk’s Mambo Jambo Night.
I have no idea why Mambo Nights are so popular. Since when did 18, 19 year olds start dancing to 70s and 80s retro music? I’d have thought people of their age would be going Zouk to listen to tetno music.
This is my date for the night, Linda Chia.
I’m a bad date though. I made her wait outside Zouk for an hour while I record “Zhng My Car” with Brown and Miyagi. Sorry Linda!
While we’re outside, we spotted this someone who probably just came out of torturing little animals inside a handicapped toilet while chanting anti-KL slogans. 😉
Mambo Nights aren’t just fun, they’re funny as.
One thing I noticed was that when it comes to doing the Para Para hand movements, the guys are actually better than the girls! I asked a girl where she learnt her hand movements from, and she said “Neh! From those guys there on the podium!”
Its amazing. These are guys that dressed and looked like your average handphone shop Ah Bengs. When they stepped up onto the podiums they become gods. And the hundreds of revellers worship the podiums they stood on.
Linda and I tried doing the Para Para hand movements, but we ended up looking like a deaf and a mute talking to each other.
Out of no where, this 40+ year old uncle wearing leather pants, jacket and sunglasses climbed onto the podium and started “dancing”. By “dancing” I mean squatting, pointing and turning his head slowly.
At first I thought he’s Zouk’s head of security trying to catch people snapping photos in the club (like me). But when I saw the whole club literally stopped to watch and cheer him on, I knew he must be someything. It’s unbelievable, bunch of 19 year old kids cheering on a high school principal lookalike.
We left around 2:30am that night for some Fish Meehoon Soup at River Valley. Linda still looking hot as ever. I didn’t sleep the night before, which is why I looked like a male version of Furong Jiejie.
Andrea Fonseka at Attica
There’s something I don’t like about Attica. It’s evil. The air of pretentiousness is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
This is probably the only club in Singapore where 90% of the males are expats, and 90% of the females are trying to get
in their pants their attention. It is a very discomforting sight.
I’m not saying all girls who go to Attica are bad. There’s a line between looking sexy and slutty, and the lengths some of the girls go to left me dumbfounded. Like that Thai girl who had a dollar note stuffed inside her cleavage by this Italian guy.
I don’t know aye, I reckon she’s trying a little too hard perhaps? I prefer the Zouk crowd anytime.
Anyway, the reason I was there was because after that Foot in Mouth incident, Lena wanted me to judge Andrea Fonseka for myself, to see if I might change my opinion about her.
What can I say? I guess the TV does add extra pounds on her.
This former Miss Malaysia is bloody tall. Andrea Fonseka looks statuesque in her cheongsam and she effortlessly exudes this aura of confidence and exquisiteness that make people weak in the knees. It’s a little intimidating , especially when you witness the power she wields.
Andrea not only managed to get me into Attica without paying cover, she got me through to the members-only Attica Too and even into this atas private lounge where a birthday party was taking place. They must really love her there I guess.
Even with her apparent elitism, Andrea has no problems showing her quirky crazy side. This is one fun-loving, and her group of friends she introduced to me that night was class act. Thanks for being a great host, Andrea! 🙂
Lena was right, Andrea Fonseka isn’t as bad as the angry mob made her out to be. That said, I still cannot comment on how she looks like in a bikini though, so we might have to arrange for a private show next time.
UnXpected Live at Wala Wala
Wala Wala is this fun pub in Holland Village popular for their live bands.
I wanted to watch The UnXpected perform, partially because I’ve heard so much about them, but mainly because I know girls who lust NOT for their drummer Brandon, but for their lead singer Shirlyn.
Yes Shirlyn, as if us men don’t have enough competition already.
One song from them, and I knew the reason why Wala Wala was so crowded on weekends that authorities had to step in to prevent overcrowding.
The band rocks and Shirlyn is hot. Her voice is a cross between Jewel and Sheryl Crow and Shakira, and it really works well with the contemporary rock songs the UnXpected is famous for.
My camera flash fired so much that night, Shirlyn forgot her lyrics and Brandon dropped his sticks. I should’ve known. The UnXpected are ROBOTS!
Check out the video clips from the night. You’ll need to install DivX to watch the downloaded clips.
- “You Shook Me All Night Long” (Download clip | Watch in Google Video)
- “These Dreams” (Download clip | Watch in Google Video)
- “Shining Like A Star (???)” (Download clip | Watch in Google Video)
There’s more of their music here.
I seem to get myself into trouble everytime I step foot into Singapore, and my last trip was no different. The Cowboy Barflies I hung out with were a happening bunch, but something happened that made the night more memorable than SPG’s set of tits.
I’m not allowed to say who. Let’s just say someone had too much alcohol, and decided to give me a souvenir in the form of the Scarlett Ting Strawberry Milkshake Treatment. Only difference is, I didn’t get the luxury of strawberry milkshake, just a cold carton Marigold UHT milk.
I laughed out loud when Shirlyn described him as the Incredible Hulk ‘cos I can certainly see the uncanny resemblence.
So here’s what happened.
Yeah. I dig Singapore’s nightlife… sometimes.
Still Living In Denial
(Continued from “Living In Denial”)
Somewhere in the quaint small town of Saratok…
Tau Keh Nio: Darlinggggggggggggg
Tau Keh: Whatttttttttttttttt
Tau Keh Nio: I got something to tell you.
Tau Keh: What is it, my dear?
Tau Keh Nio: I hate you.
Tau Keh: WHAT!? YOU HATE ME? WHY?!
Tau Keh Nio: You damn horrijiber. Mouth say you love me but inside all pretend pretend one.
Tau Keh: Huh? What cock?! I did wrong thing again?
Tau Keh Nio: Still want to act don’t know?! Last time I say want to open luxurious restaurant, you say want to open kedai runcit. Then you gave me this fucking kedai runcit and named it Luxurious Restaurant. You think very funny is it? Niama, I sit here at the counter every day waiting for customer until my cheebye also grow roots liaw.
Tau Keh: Aiya lao puo, don’t like that lah. You know business has been bad lately. Aiii… lai, hug hug?
Tau Keh Nio: Hug your head ah!. See, this wouldn’t even happened if you early early listen to me and open up a restaurant. Gerengtee will make money one! See lah, you and your stubborn kuan. Listen to yourself only don’t wanna listen to me. Now lose money liaw, see who die?
Tau Keh: Sorry lor. But you use your head to think lah. You open up a restaurant in this small town in the middle of a jungle also no use. Who would come? I tell you nobody will come, only monkeys will come.
Tau Keh Nio: Then FINE. I don’t open my restaurant in Saratok ok?! I go big big city ok!? You watch me lah! I open my restaurant in Kualu Lampa then you know!
Tau Keh: HAHAHA! You want to kua whose lampa!? “Kuala Lumpur” also dunno how to pronounce! Please lah you siao ginah, don’t even know how to speak Malay! Don’t later go around kualu lampa and sia soi yourself.
Tau Keh Nio: NABEH, I CAN SPEAK MALAY OK!?
Tau Keh: Sorry but “teh tarik satu” doesn’t count. Bwahahahaahaa!
Tau Keh Nio: HOW DARE YOU LAUGH ME!
Tau Keh: Nolah, I just worried. Later your customer asks for “susu” and you beat him up ‘cos you thought he’s calling you stupid how? Wahahahahahaa!
Tau Keh Nio: I said DON’T LAUGH. Laugh some more!?
Tau Keh: Reminds me that time when you used to work in KFC. One customer asked you for “Ayam Goreng”, and you thought he said “I am Goreng.” Then you said to him “Welcome to KFC, Mr Goreng!” Remember?! WAHAHAHAHAHAA!
Tau Keh Nio: SCREW YOU! I’ve had enough already! I’m leaving this stupid place to set up my own restaurant. That’ll teach you not to laugh at me EVER again. GO AWAY.
Tau Keh: Eh lau puo, where you going?!
Tau Keh: Cheebye wife.
Behind The Scenes At the mrbrown show Podcasts
Download: the mrbrown show Podcast: “Causeway to Kuching” (MP3, 7.2MB, 20m48s)
Topics: Zouk, Kuching clubbing scene, tetno music, origin of Kuching’s name, “what do you call KL-ians?”, tallest building in Kuching, “how do you guys know about Kuching?”, Singapore children now getting taller, Azahari the bomb expert, Miyagi’s army stories from Australia, someone shat on the road, Kuching Kangaroo, Zouk’s water tap.
Subscribe: the mrbrownshow XML feed
Video: Behind The Scenes at “the mrbrown show”
- Full Version Very Clear One (MOV, 82.7MB, 6m10s)
- Pirated Version Not-So-Clear One (WMV, 16.5MB, 6m10s)
- Watch on Google Video
Podcasting is set to revolutionise FM radio the same way MP3 technology revolutionised the music industry. Ever since I acquired the iPod nano, I find myself literally hooked on podcasts and have more or less stopped listening to local radio stations altogether.
I always wonder what goes on behind the scenes at the mrbrown show podcasts. On my last trip to Singapore I was lucky enough to not just appear on the show, but to have the man himself explain to me what went on behind recording and publishing your very own internet radio show.
Equipment-wise, the bare minimum you require is a microphone connected to your computer. But Mr Brown is a bit gung-ho about sound quality, so he made some significant investments acquiring two ice cream cone-like microphones (with stands), a DJ-like set of headphones, a flynet-like pop-guard and a mixer deck that looks like it’s gonna explode if I chin chai press any button on it.
Surprisingly, very little work went on behind preparing for the show. Comedy skits like the Zhng My Car series require a bit more work though. For Zhng My Car, Brown and Miyagi would collaborate over Writeboard, where the gist of the script took shape and they can review it individually at work or at home without meeting up face-to-face.
In most cases, Brown and Miyagi simply get together and brainstorm for a few topics an hour before actual recording. Brainstorming was full of laughter and stupid jokes with those two around (check out the video link at the end of this entry). Almost all their shows were done in one take with very little editing effort going into post-production.
For sound-recording and post-editing, Brown uses Apple Garageband on his iMac G4. Any other sound recording software should work just as fine though.
I was nervous as hell throughout the recording, fumbling my lines in more ways than one. Brown was reassuring to me, “Don’t worryyy! If you mess up we will help you out one!”
To him, doing an internet radio show is almost his second nature. In fact, as you will see in the video later, the only time he fumbled was when he did the intro and outro of the show.
After recording, all that’s left to be done is save the MP3 file, upload it, then publish it on the World Wide Web.
Podcasting is not my niche, but I sure had lots of fun recording the mrbrown show (perhaps more fun than the audience who listened to the podcasts). I totally enjoyed myself and I’m sure they did too.
Thanks again, Brown and Miyagi, for inviting me onto the show!
Download: the mrbrown show Podcast: “Causeway to Kuching” (MP3, 7.2MB, 20m48s)
Icon by Shunji Matsuo Review
I’ve always wanted to try out the hair salons in Singapore. The problem is I didn’t know which one to choose.
Samantha recommended that I give Icon by ShunjiMatsuo a shot.
Before then, the only hair salons I knew in Singapore were Toni&Guy and Kimage. I’ve already done Toni&Guy. And according to Sam, going to Kimage is like going for a lucky draw. “First draw is going to the correct Kimage salon, second is the hairdresser, and final draw is the choice of haircut.”
I trusted her judgment, so I called up Icon for an appointment without much deliberation. I also logged onto Shunji Matsuo‘s website to find out what I can expect in store for me.
And this is what I saw.
OH. MY. FRICKIN. GOD. You gotta be kidding me.
Is this what I might turn out?! Gee, SOMEONE must really hate me.
Nonetheless, appointment has already been made and
I’m too lazy to change it Kenny Sia is not one to back down from his words. So I turned up.
Icon by ShunjiMatsuo is strangely located in a corner inside the Isetan Department Store at Wisma Atria, Orchard Road. Their little space is decorated with bright lights and striking colours to create that fun and funky atmosphere, obviously targetting towards younger crowd.
When I arrived there, I noticed there’s already quite a number of people getting their hair done at the store.
The inside of the store isn’t too lavish. There isn’t even a proper counter to front the store. For a mid-upper class hair salon, Icon seem to skimp a lot on interior design.
‘Minimalist’ would be the nice word to use to describe the store. The bad word would be ‘kiam siap’.
Here’s the price menu for Icon by Shunji Matsuo.
Btw, Icon is to Shunji Matsuo what Tiger Airways is to Singapore Airlines, what iPod Vano is to iPod Video, what Cosmo Girl is to Cosmopolitan, what Armani Exchange is to Giorgio Armani, what Justin Timberlake is to Michael Jackson. In other words, a cheaper, smaller, cut-down version of the original.
It costs SGD$29.40 (RM66) to do my hair, which is significantly cheaper than having it done at the full-fledged Shunji Matsuo store.
And this is the obligatory ‘Before’ photo shoot.
A short while later, I was led to the shampoo area where I was hoping for some good strong scalp massage to loosen those knots in my head.
Fat chance. My head wasn’t even given so much as squeeze. Seems like they don’t offer these type of services at Icon.
This is me after the shampoo, with my act-cute puppy eyes thrown in for good measure.
I don’t mean to nit-pick, but Icon disappoints helluva lot when it comes to cleanliness. Their floor was full of hair and there’s this bundle of used tissue in front of me the whole time. I shudder to think what’s in it, but it’s not mine, it shouldn’t be there and it’s downright disgusting.
This is Kenji, my hairdresser for the day, who managed to raise his middle finger at me even while he’s cutting my hair.
Normally when I go to hairdressers, I tell them to “feel free to do whatever you want with my hair. Be creative.” But since I’m in Singapore, I said to him “Oi, siao eh. Limpeh say dun pway pway. Zhng my hair!”
Anyway, 30 minutes later, and this is what I look like.
This is what I actually look like.
I have to admit, despite those minor qualms I have about Icon, I quite like this funky hairdo they churned out for me. It’s probably one of my favourite hairstyles yet.
Actually, I reckon I look kinda Japanese in this hairdo. All I gotta do now is grow some Dawn Yang eyes.
What do you think?
Fight Club At Orchard Underpass
It was by all signs an ordinary Saturday night at the Orchard Road underpass.
Throngs of everyday people were minding their own business walking through the underground walkway situated between Wisma Atria and CK Tang’s. On the walls, the rolling posters burr noisily when they change. A middle-aged busker on keyboards, a seemingly permanent fixture of the Orchard Road underpass, was singing Christmas Carol’s in his signature monotonous tone.
I missed what exactly happened, but it was the resulting commotion caught my attention.
“Call the police! CALL THE POLICE! CALL!!!” yelled the man on the left.
I stopped my footsteps immediately. My face turned ghost white.
What did I do wrong? Was it the pirated DVDs I brought in from Johor? Could it be the packet of chewing gums I had in my pocket? Maybe he reads my blog and didn’t like me putting up pictures of durian terrorists shouting God’s name in vain.
I looked over to his direction.
The man was yelling at this
blind visually-impaired woman (must be politically-correct in my blog nowsaday, y’know? Don’t want some visually-impaired people to “read” my blog and think that I have something against blind people. I believe it was a great poet from ancient China who once said ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. Or was that a quote from Spiderman 1?)
The woman must be peeing in her pants because the man was shouting at a volume 100 decibels above the human hearing threshold, and this was in an underpass so you can imagine how loud he was. All this while she was mumbling nervously and pointing her walking stick towards the man’s face, though I doubt it’s gonna help much since, like, she cannot see?
By then, a large crowd has already gathered around the two. Even the uncle playing on keyboard grew sick of the confrontation and said “Oi. You two want to fight go home and fight lah. Don’t come here and fight, make everybody unhappy.”
And with that, he nonchalantly sang Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, much to my amusement.
At one point, the woman kicked the man’s guitar till it fell on the ground. To his credit, the man didn’t do anything back against the woman. He just talked, thus proving correct the theory that all men are “No Action, Talk Only”.
Before I knew it, a plain-clothed detective showed up and separated the two.
With no free show left to watch, the crowd slowly dispersed. I too, quietly slipped a note into the busker’s donation box before disappearing together with the crowd. Don’t wanna get caught red-handed with chewing gums in my pocket, ya know?
Download Fight Club at Orchard Underpass Video. (MOV, 3.2MB, 14s)
Singapore Very Safe One
Singapore is possibly the safest capital city in the ASEAN region.
Anti-terrorism is high on the Singaporean government’s agenda. There’s posters, marquees and other promotional materials reminding Singaporean citizens to keep an eye out for suspicious people and objects.
While murder, rape and burglary do occur, those cases are extremely rare, thanks to tough punishment and their effective police force. And the Singaporeans you see on the streets are in general law-abiding, obedient and docile.
So what exactly is the key to mind-controlling Singaporean citizens? I don’t know, but seems like their government is doing a FINE job at it.
The strategy they employ is clear. If you don’t want your people to do something, put up a big ass poster, put a cross through it and underneath the poster write in big bold print “FINE: SGD$ X AMOUNT” Confirm people will listen to you one.
It is getting a little ridiculous though. Everywhere I go, I noticed all these FINE posters everywhere. Not exactly what I had in mind for Singapore Design Festival.
There’s so much of them that the whole city is transformed into one big giant FINE menu. So much fine, I think even al Qaeda terrorists also scared of the Singaporean gahmen.
How much you’re fined is dependent on how much damage you can cause. As spotted on the walls of Singapore’s Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) stations.
If you drink Cola and eat hamburgers in the MRT, you’re only killing yourself. So fine you little-little only lah. S$500 enough.
Wanna smoke? Cannnnn… But too bad you’re not just killing yourself when you fag, you fag. You’re killing everyone else within your 5m radius with your second-hand smoke, so boh-pien, have to fine you a little bit more. S$1000.
WTF ARE YOU BRINGING FLAMMABLE LIQUID ONTO TRAINS FOR?! Siao ah. Must be to bomb people one. This one must be expensive. Fine you S$5000, you cheebye terrorist.
Then there’s this one that I not quite understand.
Ok. So it says you cannot bring durians onto the MRT. But it never said anything about how much they’re gonna fine you. Which means if you wanna bring durians onto the train, bring lah.
The police will probably give you his tulan face if he saw you holding two big durians on your hands. Not because you didn’t give him durians to eat, but because he knows he cannot simply fine you.
Still, I don’t understand why they don’t fine people who brings durian onto MRTs. For all you know, the next terrorist from Jemaah Islamiyah could look like this.
You never know. You just never know.
Smell My Car Zhng
Download the mrbrown show Podcast (guest-starring Kenny Sia):
“Zhng My Car – Part 2” (MP3, 6.9MB, 19m48s)
I’m a big fan of the mrbrown show.
In case you’ve been living under the rock, Mr Brown is one of Singaporean blogosphere’s most influential persona. It was actually him who first introduced kennysia.com to the Singaporean audience after ‘brown-ing’ one of my earlier posts. The mrbrown show is of course, a highly entertaining internet audio show hosted by Mr Brown and Mr Miyagi.
One of their comedy skits titled “Zhng My Car” received over 40,000 downloads recently, officially making Brown and Miyagi the most boh-liao people coming out of Singapore since Jack Neo and Moses Lim.
So anyway, I touched down Singapore yesterday morning and Brown sent me a message telling me they’ll be recording the sequel to “Zhng My Car” that evening. I was excited of course. I didn’t want to miss the chance appearing on his show, so I pleaded with Brown to give me just a small two-liner cameo role in his skit.
But Brown Cow had better plans. And it wasn’t until I arrived at the “studio” at Miyagi’s pad that I realised he didn’t just want me to do CAMEO. He wanted me to GUEST STAR the entire Zhng My Car show instead! WAH LIEW!
I didn’t even know what to say! Brown and Miyagi are seasoned veterans of the show so they had little trouble getting into character quickly. Me? I sound worse than Michael Jackson on helium.
With only a few minutes to prepare, I was told the gist of the show, wrote down some key lines to say, and then improvise with the rest. In fact, everything you hear in that episode was done in one take. That’s why you can hear me stutter, speak too fast and majorly screw up my lines like only I can.
Recording the podcast was damn nervewrecking experience but it sure was helluva lot of fun. Watch out for me in the next episode of the mrbrown show, where we talked about my hometown Kuching.
Meanwhile if you haven’t yet already done so, download and listen to the original “Zhng My Car” episode. Then catch me joining Brown and Miyagi in the latest most newest episode of the mrbrown show – Download “Zhng My Car – PART TWO”
Singapore To-Do List
My old number died-ed on me. New number is +65 8193 7934.
I’m leaving for Singapore in an hour’s time. Will be there on business for Thursday and Friday, but I’ll be staying back till Sunday evening.
I seem to cause a bit of commotion everytime I step foot into Singapore. God knows what shit I’m gonna stir this time round.
Things I plan to do in Singapore:
- Buy some clothes for my iPod nano from Sim Lim Square.
- Have a haircut. Any Singaporean hair salons out there want some free publicity on kennysia.com? Gimme a good deal and let me know. 🙂 Somebody recommended to me a Japanese-style hair salon called ShunjiMatsuo. I wanted to try but I don’t want to look like Crayon Shin Chan!
- Register my prepaid mobile phone. Why do I need to register!? Scare I bomb your MRT with my phone issit? (Btw, my Malaysian number will be off while I’m away. Send your death threats to this number instead.)
- Visit Singapore’s MOST TALKED ABOUT TOPIC of the year 2005. What integrated resorts? I’m talking about Singapore’s handicapped toilets lah.
Endorse Voxy Nails
- Catch The UnXpected playing live this Saturday night at Walalala.
- Laugh at all the high school kids studying day and night for their GCE ‘O’ Levels right now. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
- Get rid of my 1.5-year-old Sony Ericsson K700i. It’s about time. Where’s the best place to trade them in?
- Cheong Club Momo this Friday night. Why do they call it Club Momo? Can go in there and ‘momo’ the girls one issit?
- Going to Zouk’s Mambo Night tonight. Gotta see for myself Mambo Night’s famed para-para dancers. Where the hell do these people learn those synchronised hand movements from anyway? Their tai-chi master?
Actually, I really want people to teach me how to dance like that too, but I scared later I accidentally slap and punch their face. How?