Babes of Malaysian Blogs

“I mean, who doesn’t like looking at pretty girls? Even straight girls like looking at pretty girls.” So said Joel Tan, aka Rambo Tan, aka The Artist Formerly Known As Big Fuck, aka “KANINA KENNYSIA I DONCH WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE UNNERWEAR BOY LAH!”

Wahai kawan-kawan, Selamat Hari Merdeka. Maicaohai busuh-busuh, selamat pergi mati lah.
Welcome to the very special Merdeka edition of kennysia.com.
A few months ago, Joel Tan wrote a groundbreaking blog entry featuring four of the hottest female blogging babes in Singapore. He creatively dubbed them, the Xiaxue Killers – a term he used to describe female bloggers who not only look good, but blog with such a style it’ll make you go Whoa.
All those girls needed then was a stroke of luck and Joel’s entry gave them just what they needed to springboard towards blogging superstardom. As of writing, I know one of them was already featured multiple times on Singaporean mainstream media and one other got an endorsement deal out of her blog. Joel, on the other hand, got nothing.

We’ve got ‘Xiaxue Killers’ here in Malaysia too alright. Yes, we’ve got blogger hotties here in this lovely country, and they’ve been writing such good content I wonder why not many people read them. Except we couldn’t possibly call these girls ‘Xiaxue Killers’. The biggest blogger in Malaysia is not Xiaxue, but Jeff Ooi. And calling these girls ‘Jeff Ooi Killers’ is just… wrong. ‘Jeff Ooi Killers’ sound like people the Malaysian government would employ to plot an assassination attempt on Jeff Ooi for constantly exposing their dirty tactics.

Hey, I don’t need to call them fancy schmancy names to tell you that these girls are good – you know you can trust me on this. Remember, when Kenny Sia says good, its not just good, its DAMN GOOD. I selected these girls because I think they’re attractive, they have lots of pictures of their pretty selves on their blogs, they’re Malaysian, and most importantly, they write such interesting and engaging material I won’t get bored reading them day after day.
I call these girls… the Babes Of Malaysian Blogs, aka the BOMB. They might now be very well-known right now, but who knows? kennysia.com might just be the platform they need to get that job offer, that book deal, or even that modelling contract.
With that in mind, sit back, relax, and enjoy a Malaysian-brewed, Merdeka-boosted, FHM-flavoured dose of kennysia.com

Canto BOMB

Wennie, of xanga.com/weniee and daichafan.blogspot.com

What a great looking… camera.

Wennie is a 22-year-old graphic designer from Petaling Jaya whose eyes emit so much electricity it could power a small town. Wennie is perhaps better known as Ah Giu from the wildly popular Cantonese Blog “Jut Doi Siong Diu”. I hate to admit this but her blog entries are so good, I find myself painfully reading through her entries eventhough I don’t understand the language to save my life.

I guess if you know a little bit of Cantonese, half the fun is guessing what word is what. Its a good thing she’s still keeping her (English) Xanga site alive though, since that is where she stores all her pretty photos.
Gain points for: 1. Offering to teach me Cantonese just to read her damn blog. 2. Her damn nice highlighted hair.
Lose points for: Mistaking Kuching for Kota Kinabalu. Dammit. What is it with West Malaysians and their inability to differentiate between Sabah and Sarawak?
Excerpt:

“now, after 2 months, I re-highlight my hair again. n I require them to make it even more ‘obvious’. n they did. de result turns out to b … OHMYGOD!!!!!
I showed it to my mom.
‘ma~ see my new hair color!!! nice anot?’
‘…’
‘ma?……’
‘ah ting!!! hand me de broom!!! thr’s one ang moh comes into our hs adi!!! call de police!!!’

Fashion BOMB

Yue Chin, of blackjetta.blogspot.com

Luna the dog doesn’t blog, but the owner does.

Yue Chin, or YC, is a 21-year-old architecture graduate former architecture student, struggling artist, and jewellery maker with an unnatural obsession with Bert from Sesame Street. She is the main author of Black Jettas: Diary of the Drama Queens, which has been in operation since March this year. Originally from KL, but now a resident in Melbourne, YC writes a typical girly blog on life, fashion, arts, and her somewhat complicated long-distance relationship.

YK, or Yekar, occasionally contributes to Black Jettas.

Black Jettas will appeal mainly to female readers who can relate to YC’s experience, or at least, share her fantastic taste in fashion. Also check out her range of amazing handmade jewellery at Black Jettas Design. They may cost an arm, a leg and first-born for the average income earner, but the fact that she’s sold a couple of them must mean they’re worth every single cent they’re paid for.

Black Jettas Design

Gain points for: Looking like a mistress. A bloody hot one too.
Lose points for: Being attached.
Excerpt:

“I think I want to move into the park. Am loving it! Nothing beats a lazy sunny sunday in the park with a good book and a lovable psycho dog.

Sigh.
This is what I’ll miss most when I return to KL.
Imagine lying in the park with Luna unleashed in Malaysia.
I’ll be barbequed aliveby the weather, possibly robbed, raped and killed.
Luna will be shot by MPPJ/ DBKL.
Double sigh.”

Funny BOMB

Audrey, of audree.blogdrive.com

You’d be forgiven if you thought Audrey looked like a character out of some Japanese anime cartoons.

It takes a lot of guts for a man with balls the size of coconuts to admit this, but I’m a fan of Audrey Ooi’s blog. A huge fan, in fact.
Of the four blogs I recommended here today, Audrey’s blog is the only one I’ve consistently read ever since I discovered it about a year ago. The odd thing is I don’t even know why I’m so addicted to such a cutesy pinkish little blog by a tiny little 20-year-old girl from Subang Jaya studying at Mt Holyoke, Massachussets. Maybe its her freakin’ great sense of humour, maybe its her occasional bitchiness, maybe its just how cute she looks in a Japanese kimono.

Audrey’s blog is titled *fourfeetnine*, which in case you’re wondering, is her height and the source of many hilarious incidents. Its not just her funny entries, it helps the fact that she has camwhoring tendencies which make her entries always refreshing and always an interesting read.
Gain points for: Calling her father “Fat Her Ooi”.
Lose points for: Violating the Blogskin Sins. Blasphemy!
Excerpt:

“Angela ran out, then ran in and pulled me and Yen out into the hallway.
And we heard:
“OH… OHH… OOH…..” (at 10000 decibels)
People having sex.
All of us just stood there as still as lizards outside the door of whoever was having the time of her life (and wanted everyone to know it) and listened to the groans/moans/screams/whines.
All hands were clapped over mouths to prevent giggles/cries of disgust.
Then Lucia comes running down the hall behind us, yelling “Why is she here! Who brought her in!? She shouldn’t be here! Someone take her away now!”
Angela said, “What? Who are you talking about?”
Lucia continues in an agitated manner, “The kid! She’ll be traumatised by it! I’m taking her away now!”
She grabs me by the shoulders.
I turn around and stare at her, perplexed.
She stares at me for a second and says, “Oh! Audrey it’s you! I thought you were a six-year old kid or something!”
“……….. ”
She fcuking thought I was a six year old girl!
Let me die, let me just die.”

Sexy BOMB

Elaine, of laineylashes.com

This is where I go, “Hi miss, can I buy you a drink?”

Do NOT visit Laineylashes.com if you do not have a broadband connection or your modem is gonna crash and burn. The pictures on her blog take ages to load, but its worth the wait I tell ya.
I know about 3 Elaines who are active bloggers right now and all 3 of them are hot as fuck. I don’t know if its coincidence or a god-given formula that if your name is Elaine and you blog, then you must be hot. If there are any Elaines out there who wish to help me in my uhh… *cough* research, pop me an e-mail or something. 😉

Lainey going all Alicia Keys.

Lainey is a relatively new blogger who burst into the scene quietly just May this year. Laineylashes.com is mostly about her party life, but the focus of it all are undoubtedly her photos ‘cos a lot of photos she took turn out to be quite stunning. If its not photos of herself looking pretty then its photos of herself with OTHER hot mamacitas looking pretty.

Check out her photo series from the Revelation @ Port Dickson rave (got bikini babes) and from the Miss Hypertune 2005 Finals (got chio bus) and you’ll know what I mean. If there’s STILL not enough, then there’s helluva lot more pics on her Multiply.
Gain points for: Being sexy, and not afraid to flaunt it.
Lose points for: Her entries are still rough around the edges.
Excerpt: I can write an excerpt but you won’t read it anyway ‘cos you’d be busy looking at her sexy photos.

Other worthy mentions:

* Annie, of liljooules.blogspot.com
This entry of hers cracked me up.

“yes we know it’s gross of you to be auctioning your USED lip gloss..you don’t have to make it so obvious..”

* Vanessa, of tabulas.com/~vanessa

Don’t worry, she looks better than this

Too bad she doesn’t update as often. ‘Cos when she does, she’s gold.
Excerpt:

“this is the same Mo from Daph’s farewell party last year, where him and the guys got so fucked and they were so cold that they took off all their clothes to be warm. and passed out on the floor in their manties. i shit you not. they thought it made sense. HAHA!”

* Tilia, of tilia.blogdrive.com

Tilia, the Hot Little Cheerleader, happily showing her friend her cleavage.

If you’re looking for something to laugh and have a huge tolerance for the word ‘fuck’, then I suggest you check out Tilia and leave an Orgasm (Comment) on her page. There’s nothing sexier than a woman with confidence, and Tilia has all that and more. Read her entries and you’ll know what I mean.
Excerpt:

“Did you guys read this article?
How fucking desperate do you have to be for porn that you shove pornographic CDs between your ass cheeks just to get it past Singaporean customs?
How fucking huge do your ass cheeks even have to be before you can fit SEVERAL CDs and DVDs between them?
It’s so obviously for his personal use and not for selling coz I mean, which smuggling ring spends money to smuggle 4 porn cds by method of shoving between ass cheeks.
And honestly. Do you really want to get back to your home in Singapore, go MUAHAHA…yank those porn cds out of your ass. And then use your hands to touch your dick. That just seems really unhygienic. And dude. You’re watching something that’s just been in your ass.
This guy. Needs to learn how to use the internet to download FREE PORN that doesnt get you thrown in jail for a year for smuggling porn in to the country. Moron.”

20050831-1.jpg
* The usuals, like JoyceTheFairy, Kimberlycun, minishorts, etc… but you guys knew about them already right?

That’s it then, and I hope you guys enjoy this very special edition of kennysia.com. Its BOMBs like these that made me feel so damn proud living in this wonderful country. Happy National Day to my fellow Malaysians. Malaysia Boleh!

Localbrand T-Shirts


Check out what I got in the mail over the weekend.

It’s a package from Mr Turodrique Fuad, all the way from sunny Singapore. I picked them up from the post office last Saturday.

Look at THAT. Localbrand T-shirts in the mail! Thank you, Turodrique!
If you haven’t heard of Localbrand you probably haven’t been following news from the blogosphere much. Localbrand is a Singaporean-based dare-to-be-different fashion label that launched into limelight earlier this year when they created newswaves by appointing blogger XiaXue as their brand Ambassador.

Localbrand T-shirts are known for their interesting designs and their fondness in using a T-shirt as a media platform to convey subtle messages. They are about non-conformity. They are about self-awareness. They are about the Asian way of life.

These are new designs from Localbrand’s latest collection and Turodrique is nice enough to send me some samples. I’m happy because this is the first time I get something compliments of a fashion label as a result of my blog. 🙂 Besides, it makes my balls grow large knowing I’m the first person in Kuching to own these new Localbrand T-shirts.

To show Localbrand my appreciation, I took these shameless photos of myself posing so they can include them in their new catalogue. Yes Turodrique, you can use these photos free of charge without making me into a brand ambassador or something. Nah, don’t mention it. Heh heh heh.

The t-shirts are really comfy! None of those Giordano bullcrap. These are definitely quality threads. I wear Localbrand with pride so I’m a member of Elite, inc. (And stop staring at my tit.)

Here, I tried to an act-cool while professing my undying love for Annabel Chong.

Alright, enough shilling from me. If you know what’s good for you, go get yourself a Localbrand T-shirt NOW.

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When A Good Layout Isn’t Exactly Important

I’m honestly a little bit that surprised my entry on Blogskin Sins received more backlash than expected.
They said:
“Its their website and they can do whatever they want.”
“Its not for you to comment on their blogs. Leave them alone.”
“Even if they committed those ‘Blogskin sins’. I’m still going to read it if the content is good.”
I say:
“True, I’m not saying they have to change their layout just to suit my taste. I’m just saying if they’re hoping the majority will read their blog with that kind of layout, then they can just keep on hoping.”
Who said interesting content is more important than friendly layout? If you haven’t got a good layout, its gonna be difficult trying to read the content anyways.

Example of a badly-made Blogskin.

Well, this entry is dedicated to those who think bad Blogskins is acceptable. The navigation buttons are hidden. Good luck trying to figure out where to click. This is also my site and I can do whatever I want, right?
Enjoy.

How My Sister Found Out My Blog

Its nice to get an e-mail from Karen Cheng out of the blue today.

karencheng.com.au

Karen is an artist and young mother from Perth. She’s an avid blogger and her blog chronicles her daily life, especially her two little boys. Do check out her blog if you like to read about cute babies and stuff. Her site was nominated for the 2005 Bloggie Awards as the Best Designed Blog and its not difficult to see why.
If only Blogskin designers are willing to learn a thing or two from her, wars would end, birds would sing, George Bush would step down from presidency, and the world would be a much better place.

Karen worked in Singapore as an expat sometime before. I guess that’s why she follows the Singaporean blogosphere and that’s how she found out about my blog. What she didn’t know is that she’s friends with my sister from their Uni days. I knew about Karen Cheng because once my sis showed me Karen’s site, telling me she wanted a website like that for her two kids as well. She didn’t know I have a blog back then.
So one day, my sis was surfing Karen’s site for inspiration, clicking the links she had on her side bar when she encountered this post on Mr Miyagi’s site.

Sis: “Eh? What’s my brother doing in there?”

Talk about the worst possible way for a family member to find out your blog.

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Blogskin Sins

Every now and again, I’d do a bit of surfing to find out new and interesting blogs I could add to my bookmarks. There’s a lot of good blogs out there and its easy to be impressed not just by the quality of their content, but also the amazing design and layout some of these blogs have.

twentyfoursevens.blogspot.com

A lot of blogs use templates from Blogskins.com, and surprisingly many of these templates were done by 13-15 year olds. Seriously, their web design skills kicked my ass so hard, they made me looked as if I designed kennysia.com half-heartedly with my mouse clenched between my buttcheeks.
But those are the good ones. The bad ones, mannnn… they’re not just bad, they’re nauseating. If anyone reading this is using these skins on their blogs, don’t worry I’m not dissing you. Your content may be good, but PLEASE, do yourself a favour, give yourself a tight slap across the face and change the skin lah!
Here are some of the worst sins a Blogskin designer could commit.

1. Don’t force us to listen to your crappy music.

Blogs with background music are as invasive as having a stranger sticking his finger up your nose. If we want to listen to music while blogsurfing we’d have played Winamp. And if Winamp was playing when we dropped by your page, we’d be forced to listen to a collaborative remix between Norah Jones and The Crazy Frog.

Come on! Why would anyone have MP3s that autoload on their blog? There’s even this skin that autoplays a whole freaking music video. It’s annoying, it catches us by surprise, and by the time your blog finished sucking up all our bandwidth we would have reached for the bright red ‘X’ button on the window because we couldn’t find where THAT GODFORSAKEN STOP BUTTON IS LOCATED ON YOUR WEBSITE.

2. My screen is 1280×1024. Your entries are in a 40×100 frame.

Blog entries written in frames effectively kill the use of my mouse’s scroll wheel, but generally I’m still quite cool with that.

The blog entries are all in that little frame there. All the surrounding spaces = wasted.

Lately though, the frames been getting smaller and smaller and the background images (ranges from anime characters to random girl in provocative poses to some lame-ass celebrity like Britney or Avril Lavigne) just keep getting bigger and bigger. It comes to the point I’m staring at this picture and the blog entry constitutes just 10% of the my entire screen’s area. Worst of all, these entries are usually written in xxx-small fonts and in colours so bright they could make a blind man see again.
Please. We’re here to read your words, not look at your stupid background images.

3. Hidden buttons are not cool, they’re irritating.

Cute, but… dude, where’s the blog?

It’s bad enough having to click an extra button just to get to your profile, links, tag-board, entries. You could at least make our lives easier by TELLING US WHERE THOSE BUTTONS ARE.

4. This wouldn’t have happened if they’re told the readability of their fonts is related to the size of their balls.

Sometimes I think these people design websites not for humans, but for ants to visit.

Try reading this without leaning forward.

How the heck am I supposed to read these words? I practically have to kiss the computer screen to be able to read what they wrote. Yes I know I can manually set my fonts bigger, but why should I? For God’s sakes, make your fonts larger.
I just want to read your blog, not go for a bloody eye examination.

Finally, to be bloglitically-correct, I must say this, “Its your blog and you can to do whatever you want.” 🙂

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Malaysia’s National Service Program

I read with interest Jolene‘s account of her life at the Malaysian National Service (NS) training camp. Believe it or not, growing record-breaking armpit hair, camp trainers chasing away ‘evil spirits’, kissing your used sanitary pads as a form of punishment (wtf?) – its all part and parcel of being an NS trainee.

Our very own Jolene Lai, proudly serving the nation as a blue zebra.

When I first heard that Malaysia is about to implement the NS regime, I was very supportive of it. I believe that so long as it’s for a just cause, improving our national security and instilling patriotism in our youths is always a good thing.
I wouldn’t mind being part of the NS program myself because I heard girls think men in uniforms are sexy and I wanted to wear one. I’ve had plenty of friends from Singapore and Taiwan who ranted and raved about what a life-changing experience NS was for them and how they came out in the end a better person.
For many, NS is a rite of passage where the clueless becomes disciplined, the weak becomes strong, the boys become men.

The difference is in the balls.

Unfortunately, as more details emerge, I started to grow skepticism.
For one, the program is only going to benefit 20% of the country’s 17-year-olds (money not enough). Then I learnt that duration of the NS is not 2 years, not even 1 year, but just 3 months (money not enough). THREE PATHETIC MONTHS! Many people have said it – three months ain’t National Service to train boys into men. Three months is summer camp for kids.
How the heck are you going to instill patriotism in just 3 months? These things don’t just grow on trees overnight. Patriotism is something that require the victims to be subjected to lies and deception and propaganda over a long long period of time one, you know?
I reckon the only way they’re able to effectively instill patriotism in the minds of our youths is by using some bizzare mind-control technique.

What really went on behind-the-scenes during NS.

Jolene wrote about having to attend racial integration classes. Its fun and nice and all, but in a way, its also quite sad to see that the country has to resort to programs like these to promote racial harmony among the Chinese, Indians and Malays. I’m no expert, but I do know that forcing cross-cultural interaction in a formal classroom-like environment is about as effective as forcing a chicken and a duck to talk about the latest EPL soccer news.

Its only gonna work during supervised sessions. As soon as that’s over, the Chinese is gonna stick with their Chinese friends and likewise for the other major races. Most of them anyway. For many, a comfortable common language is still a barrier for interaction to take place.
But hey, at least they’re trying.
The biggest joke of all is that the Malaysian National Service isn’t providing any military training at all. Heck, the trainees aren’t even given the chance to handle weapons! All that pretty army uniforms and they don’t even get to hold a gun. What the hell, right? I wonder why the Ministry of Defence is running the program ‘cos all these “racial integration” and “character building” exercises seem more like the Education Ministry’s job.
There are military drills. Its just that at most, the trainees are taught to climb ropes, do monkey bars, and run. But geez, what are these kids gonna do if Malaysia came under attack? Throw sticks at them?

Yes, I feel very safe.

(Just in case there’s any government people reading this who thinks I’m criticising Malaysia’s NS program, I’m not lah ok? I think Malaysia is good, and I agree Badawi is the best thing since Elvis. Yeah, baby.)

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I Want To Go Back To Perth

This was one of the toughest questions posed to me during my “Ask Me Anything” stunt for the Blogathon charity. (Btw, have you sent in your donation?)


(From aunty@uncle.com)
Hey Kenny,
I’m wondering if you’re coming back to Perth, as in “semi-permanently”. I’m guessing here, but you’ve got Australian permanent residency right? I’m just wondering if you are considering coming back to Perth. Or, even to Melbourne or Sydney or Adelaide. Or UK.
I know this is a bit personal. But the main reason you left Perth is because of family-related reasons (I’m sorry about that), but now that everything is settling down, would you consider leaving Kuching again?
As a third person, who doesn’t know you, I think Kuching is not the place for you. I can sense that you enjoyed the (8) years in Perth a lot and it brings you lots of good memories. I strongly think that you’d be better off in Perth.
What do you think?


I just got off from a pretty good chat with Nicole via Skype last night. These days, such nice conversations between us are rare. In the past when I talked to her, it felt as if the emotional distance between us is catching up with the physical distance between us.
Its no secret that I like Perth and I miss Perth. Its difficult not to. Once upon a time, I had a fantastic job doing what I like. I was earning a handsome AUD$40k pa salary, I enjoyed my Saturday nights drinking coffee with friends, and I got to work out at Fitness First instead of Gym Masyarakat.

Of course it is unfair to compare Perth with Kuching – I’m not trying to do that. Kuching is my home, it will always be my home and it will always be the place I return to eventually. However at 23 years old I have a thirst for adventure and a hunger for knowledge.
Kuching would be where I want to be if I’m 30 years old, married with a wife and two kids, tied down with commitments and looking for some stability in life. It’s just not the place I belong to when I’m still 23 years old with all the freedom in the world and the energy of a young bull.

But I HAD to leave Perth. I’d blame myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t. I have only one father, and to be by his side for the remainder of his life is the least I could do as his son. THE LEAST.
I HAD to be here for my mother, otherwise she’d be all alone.
I HAD to work in my current profession eventhough I didn’t like it, nor am I ready for it. I must be lying through my teeth if I said I enjoyed my job. But I HAD to. I was in no position to debate with my father when he was lying on the bed and I was standing there healthily. I HAD to let my father see that I’m helping him achieve his goals before he closed his eyes forever.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not hate my job. But settling down on this stable desk job is what I would do a few more years down the track, not right now. Now that I’m already in this position, I cannot leave. I have to stay and learn the ropes in this business, because the people who are gonna show me the ropes are not gonna be around forever. Its now or never.

I HAD to leave Nicole. I’m not talking about leaving your girlfriend for a few months, come back again and then start living life like a normal couple again. If that’s the case, I can live with that.
I’m talking about being away from your partner, possibly for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life. That, I CANNOT live with. Who in their right mind would want to be in a perpetual long distance relationship? This is not a scene out of The Notebook, this is real life.

The dilemma I’m facing is that we ARE in a committed relationship, but we’re not committed enough to give up our position to be physically next to each other. I cannot leave Kuching, and she’d be stupid to give up Perth to live in Kuching. Don’t even talk about marriage – its an impossibility as neither of us are ready for that. At least, not yet.
The worst thing about this is that when I left Perth, we didn’t exactly leave on good terms (we were in that we-need-to-give-each-other-personal-space kinda stage), and that’s how we ended up in a half-fucked relationship right now that’s neither committed nor uncommitted, neither serious nor casual, neither short-term nor everlasting.

I hated it when people asked me what my plans with Nicole are, and I had to reply “I don’t know.” The truth is, I really don’t know. I asked my mother when I had this discussion with her what’s going to happen to me and Nicole, and she replied “There’s nothing much you can do about it.” She’s right.
Had I thought of breaking up completely? Yes I had. But both of us agreed that its such a waste for a 4-year-long relationship to go down the drain, not because we stopped loving each other, but because of circumstances. That said, I sometimes wonder if the way we are right now that we’re holding onto nothing, if we’re better off seeing someone else than to waste our youthful years on each other. But I relented.

It’s situations like these that made me feel so confused about my direction in life.
I want to go back to Perth so I can save up money to travel to Europe and backpack and see the world before settling down permanently in Kuching. I want to go back to Perth so Nicole and I can live like a normal couple once again.
I want to go back to Perth, yet I cannot bear to do such a selfish act. I’m tied down by my duty to my parents as their son, my responsibilities to my late father as his torchbearer.

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