Top 5 Weirdest Restaurant and Food Court Names In Kuching

There are generally two types of restaurants and food courts here in Kuching.

The first type are the ones that play safe go along with conventional names. These are places like Siang Siang Food Court or Rock Road Restaurant, where there’s nothing exceptionally fancy nor memorable about their names.
And then there are ones that have gone the extra mile when it comes to naming themselves. In fact, they’ve gone so much past the extra mile that we have to scratch our heads and wonder, “How the heck do they come up with a name like THAT?”
Today, pays tribute to these restaurant and food court names, the ones that do not stick to the convention and the ones that simply does not make any sense. Presenting, the Top 5 Weirdest Restaurant and Food Court Names In Kuching.

1. Thank Food Restaurant

The Chinese name of this restaurant is pronounced “Thian Fook”. But for some weird reason, it’s English name is translated into “Thank Food”.
Some people, when they feel a sense of relief, they say “Thank God!” or “Thank Goodness!”
This restaurant says “Thank Food!”

2. Da Light Food Court

The Chinese pronounciation of the name of this food court is Da Lai. Like the previous one, the English name is nothing like its Chinese pronounciation.
Maybe they have their own reasons why they don’t have a matching English name.
Da means “Big”. Lai means “Come”. So the name Da Lai can be literally translated into English as “Big Come”.
That is really unfortunate, because the term “Big Come” is equivalent in meaning to “Heavy Orgasm”.
For example, “Julie slept with a 9 inch Russian. She had so much fun, she had a Big Come.”
Maybe that’s why the owners of this food court decided to call it Da Light. Maybe what they really meant was, “Hey, other food courts suck. Come eat here and eat, and you will see DA LIGHT!”

3. Handsome Court

I know when you wanna give a name to your business, you’d normally want to name it something good. That’s alright. Nothing wrong with calling your business some praise-worthy names like “Siang Siang” or “Expert” food courts.
But to call yourself a handsome food court just smacks full of arrogance.
What next? “Leng Chai” laksa and “Chio Bu” curry? Please, if you were that handsome, you wouldn’t be opening a food court.
Handsome Court?
Sounds like what Steven Lim would call it if he opens a food court.

What Steven Lim’s food court would look like

4. Food Some Place Restaurant

On the opposite end of Handsome Food Court, is a restaurant that suffers from major memory issues.
I can imagine myself walking into this restaurant and having this conversation with the waitress.
Kenny: I’d like to order some food.
Waitress: Ok.
*Ten minutes later*
Kenny: Where’s the food?
Waitress: Food some place.
Kenny: Where?
Waitress: … Food some place lah!
Kenny: Where is my food?!
Waitress: Don’t know! Your food some place!

5. Ho Say Liao Food Court

Here is one food court that is proud of its Hokkien.
We don’t get a lot of food courts here named in Hokkien, which is sad because most Kuching folks speak the dialect.
I guess part of the problem is that there aren’t a lot of nice words in Hokkien that you could name your business after. I mean, a place called Lim Peh Food Court or Tu Lan Restaurant probably isn’t gonna attract much business.
Wait, I spoke too soon.

Believe it or not, THERE IS actually a place called TU LAN RESTAURANT!
I swear this is not photoshopped. It is a 100% real restaurant in San Francisco and they serve Vietnamese food.

What an unfortunate name.

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Twenty Four

Twenty four things I did when I was twenty four.

1. Learnt to scuba-dive.

2. Learnt to play chess.
Some nine months later, I scored my first checkmate, against my mentor. 🙂

3. Saw the magnificent Great Pyramids of Giza.

4. Stayed at the ultra-luxurious Venetian Macao Resort during their grand opening.

5. Swallowed the beating heart of a king cobra, and washed it down with a dose of snake blood in Vietnam.

6. Met and shook hands with The Black Eyed Peas in Thailand, then got a media pass to watch their concert live.

7. Witnessed a fatal car accident for the first time.
William Liew, who lost his wife and two kids in that accident overnight e-mailed me again recently. As much as he is finding it difficult to get over his sadness and pain, he has decided to move on and begin a new chapter of his life in China. In memory for his family who perished, he has started a blog at

8. Sponsored a World Vision child.

9. Made my first reality TV show appearance in Nescafe Kickstart. Dance instructor Joo Nee Oh engaged my support, and she ended up winning the contest and RM250,000 richer.

10. Signed up for a 12-month exclusive deal with Nuffnang, signalling the beginning of the most significant revolution in Malaysian blog-based advertising.

11. Went on Deal or No Deal. Won the most pathetic amount possible.

12. Watched WWE wrestlers beat the crap out of each other live in Singapore.

13. Spoke to JJ and Rudy from Morning Crew and helped them out with their Johor Flood Relief campaign.

14. Became an uncle to my sister’s third child, baby girl Lecia.

15. Gained a sister-in-law.

16. Was invited to give a presentation on blogging on several occasions. My most memorable ones are at DiGi headquarters, SEGi College and Swinburne University Kuching.
I was especially surprised to see the level of enthusiasm and excitement on these students when it comes to the topic of blogging. For the first time in my life, I was amused that students are actually wanting to attend a lecture instead of running away from it.

17. Met many new friends whom I’ve grown very close to.
Nicole, Timothy, pinkpau, Icy Queen Goddess – can you believe it’s only been less than a year that we’ve known each other? Time flies when you’re having fun.

18. Became a hamster pet owner.
Bought two. One ran away.
Got two more to replace the one that ran away.

19. Fell in love.

20. Lost 5kg. Gained back 7kg.

21. Began to set aside some money for my future.
I’m investing in Pacific Mutual unit trusts and it’s doing fantastic for me. And no, I’m not saying that just because I became a certified unit trust and insurance agent this year. 😉

22. Climbed Malaysia’s highest mountain.

23. Ran Malaysia’s longest bridge in a 42km marathon.

24. Had a simple birthday celebration on a quiet suite by the seaside, enjoying the company of my few loved ones.

Yeah, life has been hectic and I have been busier than ever. But I lived my twenty forth year in existence knowing that I did not waste a single day of my life.
Today, I turn a quarter of a century old.

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Black Eyed Peas Live In Bangkok

Quite simply, the best damn live concert I have ever attended.

When Suki and Faizal spoke to the Black Eyed Peas, Pepsi ambassador to Pepsi ambassador, they asked what advice an accomplished international group like them would give to new budding music artists.’s reply was “Stay hungry. Stay focussed. Keep your feet on your ground.”

See the Black Eyed Peas interview

Indeed, when we met them privately at the Marriot, we could hardly tell by their demeanour that The Black Eyed Peas are in fact one of this decade’s most successful pop group because they were so humble, polite and down to earth.

Later that evening we went to their concert, and the same four people that we met earlier had miraculously transformed into this electrifying, singing, dancing, ass-kicking entertainment machines.

The scene outside the Impact Arena was people mountain people sea.
Yet, despite that everything was incredibly well-planned and in control, so much so that we don’t even have to shuffle through the sticky crowd to go into the arena. I reckon there were more people lining up buying pork burgers at McDonald’s than there were people squeezing in the venue.

For appetizers, The Click Five opened for the show.

The Click Five – Jenny

I was actually less interested in their number one smash hit Jenny than the fact that they wore freaking SUITS during their live performances!

Wet patches. The side effect of wearing a suit to a pop concert

Dude, you guys are in Thailand ok?
The weather here is hot ok?
People don’t walk around wearing suits like its winter ok?!

As the crowd began to fill the Impact Arena, I had a chance to scout around and check out the local concert goers.
I wasn’t disappointed.

Here’s a picture of three guys and one girl.
Or was it three girls and one guy?
Dunno. Your guess is as good as mine.

Now, something cool unexpectedly happened to me before the actually concert began.
You see, normally when you go to concerts, cameras and other recording equipment are strictly banned. However, because I was the only person in the Malaysian media team with a proper SLR camera, the concert organisers not only issued me with a press pass, they also gave me access to the security pit area RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STAGE.

It doesn’t get any better than that.
I had, literally, the best seat in the house. Any closer, and I’d have to join the Black Eyed Peas on stage. 😉

It was difficult to contain my excitement as I stood there behind the security barricade between the crowd and the stage.
It was even more difficult to contain my excitement as the lights to the Arena dimmed. The intro to the song Hey Mama was played, and out came The Black Eyed Peas!

They rapped. They danced. Fergie gyrated like Shakira. And the crowd was loving every minute of it.
Let me tell ya, I have seen crowds going nuts, but this was unlike anything I have ever seen before.

The atmosphere at the Impact Arena was indescribable. Even I had trouble holding my camera steady.
It was as if The Black Eyed Peas had just brought 20,000 people to the point of simultaneous orgasm. And they were still begging for more.

Not sure how their concert in KL was like after some over-zealous religious nut kicked up a fuss over Fergie’s wardrobe, but she ain’t holding anything back, baring midriffs doing her sexy moves and all. and Taboo looked sharp in their suit and tie, while Apl and Fergie dressed it down.

Still can’t believe I was standing so close to them.
I mean, I could even see the frizz in Fergie’s hair and the foundation of her make-up. What the heck, right?

And did I mention Fergie looked delicious?
Or maybe I should say Fergalicious? Hur hur. 😉

That’s taking nothing away from the other band members of course.
Apl was especially delightful to watch. The half-Filipino had so much energy in him, thrusting his hips and break dancing for the eager crowd.

Apl grew up poor, but he is always proud of where he came from. Whether its a belt buckle, a jacket or his adidas, everytime he make a public appearance, Apl would always sport a Filipino flag or something representing his home country.

With so many number one hits under their belt, The Black Eyed Peas never ran out of familiar songs to perform.

An interesting moment occured during their performance of My Humps.
There’s this one point where Fergie threw a wad of cash notes into the madly screaming crowd.
Those on the front row thought it was real, but I picked it up and the dollar note looked something like this.

After a quick wardrobe change, the Peas came out again and sang Shut Up.

It was undoubtedly their most awesome showcase of the entire night.
Check out my video later and you’ll see that Fergie was so into her performance that she was almost crying. From there, she did a complete emotional turn-around and did SIX SINGLE-HANDED CARTWHEELS in a row across the stage and back!

Suki kept gushing over how much she admired Fergie for having the total package.
Fergie’s stamina was incredible.

Hermoine Granger

While the rest of her band members went backstage for a rest during Fergie’s solo performances, she was on stage like 95% of the entire time. And all that while, her voice remained intact and her performances energetic.
How could anyone not love her like that!?

For her solo, Fergie did Big Girls Don’t Cry, Glamarous and Fergalicious. I went completely nuts when she sang London Bridge.

That was my favourite song to look out for in the clubs, and it was simply awesome to hear it live. only did one song from his solo album – I Got It From My Mama.
When I first heard the song, I thought to myself “Why kind of a stupid song is this!” If you never heard this song before, it goes something like.

Baby where’d you get your body from?
Tell me where you get your body from.
Baby where’d you get your body from?
Tell me where you get your body from.

Of course she got it from her mama!
I mean, where else could she possibly had got her body from?

Still, is definitely one of the coolest and most charismatic artists in the music industry right now.
At one point during the concert, announced to the crowd. “The bad news is, The Black Eyed Peas is breaking up…

When the crowd roared in disbelief, he quickly interjected “No! No! No! What I meant was… We’re breaking up the fights.”
“The good news is, The Black Eyed Peas are never gonna separate!”

And with that, they carried on with their performances of Don’t Phunk With My Heart, Don’t Lie, and their new song More.
During one of their songs, The Black Eyed Peas did something really memorable. got the crowd to turn on their mobile phones and wave it in the air. The result is a beautiful sea of dancing lights permeating throughout the arena.

With Where Is The Love playing in the background, suddenly everyone in the building felt as if they are connected like one big happy family.
Gotta give them credit for knowing how to work the crowd.

The Black Eyed Peas with their band, backup singers and dancers

The Black Eyed Peas is probably the only group in the world who can use a giant inflated monkey head balloon as a concert prop, and no one would say anything about it.

Alas, all good things must come to an end.
A wardrobe change later, Taboo and Fergie ended their phenomoneal, 2-hour-long, energetic concert with one final rendition of Let’s Get Retarded. With that, they left us breathless, excited and wanting for more.

What a great concert.
Here are two more videos I took during the show.

Part one of the concert. Check out Fergie’s one-handed cartwheel!

The conclusion of the concert here.

Faizal Tahir’s debut solo album is out now

I love doing this so much. Thank you again to all those who made this trip for me possible.
To think that three years ago, I actually had to resort to gatecrashing beauty pageants and begging organisers to let me to photograph their lousy events. And now there are actually people out there giving me press passes to not only watch the Black Eyed Peas but also travel with Suki and Faizal for it?
To those who denied me the opportunity to photograph your events in the past, all I could now say is: suck on that. 😛

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Suki, Faizal & The Black Eyed Peas

A few weeks ago I was in Bangkok, Thailand on the invitation of The 8 Unit and Pepsi Malaysia.

It was a media trip and I was tasked to cover the Black Eyed Peas in concert. For someone like me who’s not even considered an entertainment reporter, obviously I was very excited. How often do I get the chance to watch such a huge international pop group perform live AND be allowed to take all the photos I want, right?
For Suki and Faizal, they got it even better.

Suki and Faizal took out the first and second places on 8TV’s One In A Million, and since then life hadn’t been the same.
The two of them were only just getting used to their new-found fame, and already Pepsi has snapped them up to become their official brand ambassadors in Malaysia. That is good news for them, because The Black Eyed Peas are also Pepsi’s ambassadors.
During this trip, not only would Suki and Faizal be meeting their idols up close and personal, they would be doing the one and only interview the Black Eyed Peas have agreed to for their Thailand tour.

We knew this trip was gonna be a memorable one. But even before we left the gates of KLIA, we were already met with some dramas.
You see, Faizal said he was so excited he didn’t sleep the night before. That’s understandable. But apparently the guy was so over the top about the trip, he had completely forgotten about the “no liquids on international flights” security rule.

Inside his hand-carry luggage, the bugger packed: a water bottle, perfume, toothpaste, SHAMPOO, three different types of hair creams and (I’m not kidding) A FREAKING HAIR DRYER. With so many prohibited items on board, obviously he kena stopped by security lah!
I can understand the perfume and the water bottle. But what the heck was he thinking bringing a HAIR DRYER on board?

Needless to say, most of his stuff was confiscated. Fortunately though, Faizal’s hair dryer managed to escape unharmed.

So anyway, after that silly incident at the airport, the group of us finally arrived at Bangkok Suvanarbhumi Airport together with the 8TV contest winners and corporate sponsors .

We were whisked away to the JW Marriot Hotel where the Black Eyed Peas was scheduled make their media appearance. Suki and Faizal went to the holding room to prepare for their exclusive interview.
Meanwhile, I was joined by other journalists in the press conference room.

You could feel the electricity in the air as the anticipation mounted on the arrival of The Black Eyed Peas. I could feel I was literally shaking in my seat, and it ain’t ‘cos of the Tom Yam Goong I ate earlier.
It is ‘cos this is the first time I’d be meeting a band of such amazing calibre.

Before long, the beautiful Thai emcee walked up on stage and spurted out a series of kaps and kongs and a string of other Thai words I couldn’t comprehend.

Whatever man. With a body so hot liddat, she can kong whatever she wants and I’d be happy to kap it anyway.
But sexy emcee aside, the highlight of the press conference was of course…





FERGIE FERG, what’s up babyyyyy???

How many number one hits have they accomplished.
How many times have we danced to their music.
How many times we listened to their songs, from Let’s Get It Started, to Where Is The Love, to MY HUMPS. OMG.

It was such surreal feeling to see them appear in front of me, in the flesh just like that.
When you talk about music artistes that have achieved international stardom, you think about Britney Spears, you think about Justin Timberlake, you think about the Black Eyed Peas. If I have never been starstruck before, I am now well and truly starstruck.

Fergie may appear to be the most successful out of the group, but is definitely the brains behind the Peas.
The guy is just the epitome of coolness. If anyone knows cool, it’s him. would hardly crack a smile, and when he does, it’s a smirk. The entire time he’s on stage, he was completely calm, collected and confident.

Still, the guy can be goofy without even trying.
Fergie, on the other hand, was everything I expected her to be, and more.
I’ve listened to her interviews before, and one thing that always struck me was how honest and down-to-earth she is despite her success. Normally, mega-stars would be deliberately try to avoid answering difficult questions.

But not Fergie.
Ask her about anything. From her crystal meth addiction in the past, to this one time she peed in her pants on stage, Fergie would tackle all those questions with nothing to hide.
How not to admire her like that?!

One thing I didn’t quite understand though was the local Thai media.
Opportunities like these don’t come easy, and normally you’d see tons of photographers stacked out on the front of the stage. But for some reason, the Thai photographers and reporters were all seen quietly sitting at the back of the room.
It was as if The Black Eyed Peas was their high school teacher who would ask difficult questions if they do not paying attention. The military junta sure has an effect on its people’s obedience.

So while the rest of the media cowered at the back, I strutted up to the front and took an empty seat on the first row labelled “VIP”. Not like there was any security to chase me away. 😉

I ended up with some of the best photos from the press conference.

The Black Eyed Peas presenting an autographed memorabilia to a charity auction winner.
The money they raised go towards helping disadvantaged children and tsunami-affected villages.

I caught up with the charity auction winners after the press conference, and they said they’ve paid 30,000 baht (RM3,000) each for a jacket from Fergie and Taboo!
That is just… incredible.

The best part of the evening gotta be when I returned to look for Suki and Faizal after their exclusive interview.

Yes, Fergie is actually THAT tiny

As it turned out, the Peas were still hanging around the room after they concluded the interview. I was lucky enough to catch them before they leave.

Knowing that this was probably my one and only chance to make an impression on Fergie, I seized the opportunity to hold her hand and say to her.
Kenny: Hey Fergie! I love your music!
Fergie: Thank you!
Kenny: Umm… yay?
Ok fine, so it didn’t work out quite as well as I hoped for.
But that’s alright.

At least I got an autograph from all four of the Black Eyed Peas! 🙂

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Harmony Is Overrated

This entry is NOT sponsored by HUGO, though it’s inspired by it. 😉

When I was first introduced to the whole Harmony is Overrated campaign, I was told that the concept of the new fragrances is a celebration of modern male-female relationships.
Relationships, as we know it, has certainly come a long way. In the past, it’s the men having the sole power to decide everything, and women merely follow. More recently, I’ve seen cases where women are the one asking for everything, and their men just spoil and willingly give into her thinking it’s an act of love.

But that was before. With the changing mindset and attitude of today’s people, no longer is it the case where guys have to give into their girlfriends, and no longer is it acceptable that husbands go around marrying multiple wives.
Men and women have become more intellectual and demanding these days. Along with that, we’ve also becoming so damn weird and difficult to understand!
Having been through some relationships myself and having observed many more, I do feel that at times it seems like men and women are made to be so completely different. From friends, to courtship, to dating, to marrying, men and women continue to tear their hairs out over why the opposite sex is so ridiculously difficult to deal with.


As a guy, too many times have I experienced myself that sometimes when I thought I was doing the right thing, I still get blasted for not being caring or considerate enough.
Every little thing are enough to start a fight.
You thought you’re doing something right by waking up early and bringing your girl to a restaurant on a Sunday, only to get the cold treatment because it’s not the restaurant she wanted to go. Then when you try to redeem yourself by driving to the place that she wanted to go, suddenly she said she has no mood to eat anymore. Then you’re like “WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM BITCH?! JUST FRIGGIN EAT DAMMIT!” and she’ll be like “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME ANYMORE YOU USELESS BASTARD!”
Then plates would be smashing and some innocent waitress passing by will probably get stabbed by a flying chopstick.

To be fair, girls find it hard to understand us guys as well.
I’ve said it before. During courtship, us guys would go through heaven and hell to impress a girl and make her happy. We’d be like so romantic, Juliet would cheat on Romeo for us.
But then after we got the girl, suddenly all those previous effort goes out the window.

Credit: Stickgal

Yea, it’s tough being a guy.
We’d be slogging off at work and come home thinking that our girl would appreciate us bringing in the extra cash to build a better life together. But no. Instead of getting any form of appreciation, we have to deal with some stupid minor thing that happened then sent her “nag nag nag WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THIS nag nag nag YOU PROMISED ME nag nag YOU FORGOT AGAIN!”
You don’t wanna argue, but because you gave in to her so much already that you’re sick of it, in the heat of the moment some hurtful words will inadvertently shoot out of your mouth which will make her exclaim, “HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!” Then you’ll be all stubborn and she’ll be screaming, slamming doors and throwing things at you.
It’s like that. We go to work stressed, we come home also stressed. No wonder lately there’s so many “foot reflexology” places popping up for guys who wanna escape from their wives.

Sometimes when you look at other couples, you see how perfect they are. Then you look at yours and you wonder why you fight all the time. Then you start to wonder if you’re actually right for each other. Or if there’s someone more perfect, loving and compatible for you out there.
But in today’s relationships, it is no longer a realistic expectation that men and women will achieve total perfect loving harmony. Men and women have evolved. No matter how compatible or perfect we think other couples might be, they will still be prone to disagreements and arguments just like everyone else. Harmony IS overrated.
The bottom line is, men and women are very different. And it is inevitable that men and women get together, they will fight and fight with each other until the day they die. There’s no logic in why that’s the case. It’s just the way it is.

Sometimes the fights can be worse than WWE

But what seperates the kind of fights that break relationships and the ones that make couple grow closer together is how you resolve it, and also how sincere you are in resolving it.
Every couple fights. But every fight is also an opportunity to get everything you want out of your system and to learn more about one another. Every cold war is a time for us to reflect on our own actions and our partner’s words. After that, there should be a phone call or a text. No matter how stubborn a person is, no one can be so stubborn until they’d turn down a chance to genuinely compromise, reconcile, and make things better.
Besides, the first hug after a week-long cold war is always the best.

This post is not sponsored. And there’s no more freebies to give out this time round. 😉

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The ZAM Rap

In Malaysia, sometimes, our ministers write the jokes themselves.

Transcript of Malaysia’s Information Minister’s interview with Al Jazeera News on the Bersih Protest.
Minister: I commend yo-yo-your journalists trying to project… to exaggerate more than what actually happened. That-that-that-that’s it. We are not the-the and I-I congratulate your journalists behaving like an actor, that-that’s it…
Reporter: As you say that, sir, we’re watching scenes of protesters being sprayed by chemical-filled water!
Minister: YA! I am watching! I’m here! You’ve been trying… trying to do it this – to do this everywhere but in Malaysia people are allowed to, you know? We know our police head our colleague… Police have whatever allowed the procession to go to the Istana Negara, you know? Do police, first police, like, they handle them, they attack them, they… the police don’t, don’t, don’t fire anybody?
Reporter: Our correspondent came back to the office, sir, with chemicals in his eyes!
Minister:You-you-you-you are here with the idea, you are trying to project, what is your mind! You think that we Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar. Everything you-you are thinking! WE ARE DIFFERENT! We are totally different!
Reporter: Well unfortunately when you refuse to let people protest, it does appear so.
Minister: Ya ya we are not like you! You-you have earlier perception, you come here, you want to project us like undemocratic country. This a democratic country!
Reporter: So why can’t people protest then, if it’s a democratic country?
Minister: YES, PEOPLE PROTEST! People do-do… of course they protest. We are allowing them protest, and they have demonstrated. But we just trying to disperse them, and then later they-they-they don’t wanna disperse, but later our police compromise. They have compromised and allowed them to proceed to Istana Negara! Police, our police have succeeded in handling them gently, right? Why do you report that? You take the opposition, someone from opposition party you ask him to speak. You don’t take from the government, right?
Reporter: Why did you not break up these protests…
Minister: Pardon? Pardon? Pardon?
Reporter: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?
Minister: I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!
Reporter: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?
Minister: No we-we are! We… this protest is illegal! We don’t want..this… the… NORMALLY
Reporter: OK, so let me return to my former question. Why is this protest illegal?
Minister: YA! It’s a illegal protest because we have the erection in Malaysia. It’s no-no point on having a protest! We are allowing to every erection… every five years never fail! We are not our like, like Myanmar, not like other country. And, and you are helping this. You Al-Jazeera also is helping this, this forces. The, you know, these forces who are not in passion, who don’t believe in democracy!
Reporter: Alright, many thanks for joining us.
Minister: I don’t, ya, you, Al-Jazeera, this is, is Al-Jazeera attitude. Right?

“The police did not use force to quell the gathering”

Was that even English he was speaking? I tell ya, these people just write the jokes themselves.

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Halloween Party @ Mojo

I always envy those living in other cities who always get to go to really cool Halloween costume parties.

Virtual Insanity, Singapore

Kuching is hardly the place to celebrate Halloween. The past few times I spent Halloween in Kuching, we’ll hold a party in a pub somewhere, and then we’ll have three people turning up dressed as ghouls and draculas, and the rest will come wearing normal going-out clothes. So boring!
I don’t know what is it in Kuching’s river, but I think people here just aren’t generally interested in dressing themselves up in stupid costumes and dance like an idiot. Even Miri has a better party scene than Kuching.

Tombstone says “I cheated on my wife in memory”

But Mojo last week held a Halloween party and it was surprisingly fun.
Gerald totally pimped out his pub.

“It was viagra that killed me.” Heh, I don’t think so dude!

He even built a graveyard outside the pub. For dead pubbers.

Then there were nooses hanging from the ceiling.
The fun part about any good Halloween party is always the costumes. It is the only time in the year that guys can dressed like fools and girls can dressed like complete sluts and no one can say anything about it.

I was dressed as a member of the Taliban.
And yes, that’s a priest standing next to me. Check out what he was holding.

The New Sotheby’s WINE ENCYCLOPEDIA?! What the hell, right?

Moments later the ‘Priest’ was seen smoking a cigarette with one hand, holding a Carlsberg on the other, taking a photo with some babes. Bad priest!

I like this picture. Not because there were two hot chicks (well yeah). But how often do you take a photo, only to realise there was an open casket in the background on the right, and a dead person sipping on Coca-Cola on the left.

With Little Red Riding Hood and sexy Zorro.

Cynthia the coprse bride. Doesn’t look very “coprse-y” to me.

Annette the French courtesan.

With Jack Skellington and Chucky’s Bride.

The bartender from Hell.

And the vampy bartendress.

Ismail dunked a whole bucket of ICI Dulux on his face.

The last thing you expect seeing at the bar is a bride arguing with a bloodied butcher, and a ghost stepping in to try to stop a fight.

Some time during the night, I went and visited a nurse changed my face mask to become a sex-changed Taliban prostitute.
There were a few among the crowd who dressed up really well during the night.

There was this Irish girl that came dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

Bryan Nicholas had the full count dracula costume on. Fake teeth, cape and all. He won the prize as the best dressed of the night.
After seeing Bryan, I kinda regret not coming as a vampire.

You get to suck on chicks’ necks.
The best part is, they couldn’t say anything because it’s all part of an act. 😉

This is Gerald, walking around the pub with his 24-inch schlong hanging out, like he owns the place.

Luckily, a nurse was available on site. An emergency was called and the nurse arrivd immediately to administer an injection on Gerald’s freak sausage.
Too bad it was a weekday and I had to leave Mojo early to get to work the next morning. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that this year, at least one place in Kuching seemed to have all the ingredients of a great Halloween party.
There were scary decorations, free drinks for those who dressed up, and the Kuching folks were sporting enough to come in their best costumes. How I just wish there’s a place where we can hire or purchase ready-made costumes.

Happy (belated) Halloween everybody!

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Online Dating – Is It Way The Way Of The Future?

Fine, I admit.

I have a personal profile on the Facebook, Friendster and even
Facebook and Friendster are social-networking websites so its alright. But
Let’s just say at the time I was desperate, single and really, really bored.

Look, I don’t know how well joining online dating websites like or work for other people. To be honest, I have yet to meet anyone who could claim to have successfully found the man or woman of their dreams from online dating websites.
I’m pretty sure there are some people out there who did. But if there are then maybe they’re sitting behind their computer screens and not come out long enough for me to meet them.

Theoretically speaking, online dating should work fairly easily.
You create a personal ad, upload a photo of yourself and post it to various dating websites like, or If someone likes what they see, they pop a message to you and then the two of you meet up, go on dates, marry, have kids and then live happily ever after.
That’s the theory.
In practice, theory is crap.

In reality, girls lie about their weight and guys lie about their income.

What’s more, people tend to always upload impossibly flattering photos completely opposite of what they look like in the flesh. Maybe from the website, he looks like Steven Chow but when you see him in real life, he looks like Steven Lim.

“You are my sunshine. I love you like chicken pie.”

Then add to that problem, is this extremely unfavourable ratio of guys compared to girls on online dating websites. The hottest chicks are always get thousands of messages from guys. How the heck is she gonna finish reading all the messages, let alone reply yours out of so many?
Too many poles and not enough holes is never a good thing.

So when you think about it, finding a prospect for a boyfriend or a girlfriend online using dating websites isn’t any easier than doing the same in real life. The only benefit is that shy or people low on self-confidence may find it easier to chat up to a stranger online first before meeting face to face.

I’m not saying that online dating is for desperate guys and ugly girls. I can certainly see the benefits of online dating.
Busy men and women who work long hours and having to take care of the house may not have time to hit the clubs and meet new people. For the girls, it gives them a way to evaluate a prospect’s character before deciding to jump into bed with him.
For the guys, it’s even better. If we don’t like the girl we’re talking to, we can just end the conversation abruptly and nobody would owe anyone anything.
It ain’t easy to do the same in real life.

Accidents can happen when you’re trying to escape from a bad date

Having said that, is online-dating the way of the future? Nah, I don’t think so. Maybe for some people it might be a good move.
But for now, I think guys should stick to the good ol’ method of scoring chicks by owning a Mercedes.
Nicole disagreed with me. Then again, she’s always the unrealistically over-optimistic one.
Have you participated in online dating websites before? Any happy or horror stories to share?

Post a comment, and the best stories by a male and a female will win the new HUGO XY EDT 100ml for him or HUGO XX EDT 100ml for her. Contest ends 12:01am 12th November. This is your last chance. 😉

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Missing Hamster Alert

I am heartbroken.

One of my pet hamsters escaped from the cage and jumped off an open window from the second floor, thinking she’s Spiderman. (Or was it SpiderHam?)
I climbed on the roof and looked, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. I had her for only less than a month.
For now, I’m placing a tiny box with some shavings and some food in it on the roof gutter, hoping that she’ll come back one day.

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