Category: Level Up Fitness

The Borneo Post Rejected My Advertisement

This week marks another milestone for my business.

Since we opened about five months ago, Level Up Fitness has been making waves within our local community when we introduced many new equipment and new types of group exercises into Kuching.

But tomorrow, we’re doing something big.

We’ve teamed up KL’s pioneering pole-dancing school Viva Vertical. For the first time ever in Kuching, we’re bringing pole-dancing workshops to my humble little town.

Already, we’ve been getting overwhelming responses from our members. And I figured it’s only the right thing that we spread the word to the community at large by putting an advertisement in our local newspaper.

Obviously, I was aware of cultural sensitivities and I understand that putting an ad on pole-dancing classes may raise a few eyebrows, so I chose the most tame and conservative image I could find to put on our newspaper ad.

This ad was what we sent in to The Borneo Post.

Guess what? It still got rejected.

And the reason the newspaper gave us? “Her legs are opened up too wide! CANNOT.”

What the hell right? Maybe I should just submit this pole-dancing ad instead.

 

 

 

Confirm pass.

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ADV: Jam Packed Kenny

It’s been 3 months since I started this business and I gotta say I’m really happy with the way it is progressing so far.

One weekend, I brought the entire BodyCombat class out to our local shopping mall, and I think we did a pretty good job rocking the entire place upside down.

We attracted a lot of attention, including some unexpected participants like this little Bodycombat-er like here.

Don’t play play, eventhough the movements are fast, this girl still has the stamina to follow the entire class from start to finish.

The participants loved it because its a change of environment. The crowd loved it because they’ve never seen anything like this before. The instructors loved it because it they felt like rock stars standing in front of a jam-packed audience.

The only person unhappy is the shopping centre’s security guard. The fella came by several times to ask us to tone down the volume.

Sorry lah bro. Doing BodyCombat without volume is like singing karaoke without music.

Knowing how passionate the BodyCombat gang at Level Up Fitness is, even *I* am afraid to mess with them.

The biggest headache I have now is that my fitness centre is starting to get a little packed by the time the clock hits 6.

We’re still the largest fitness centre in the city area and we’re still doing heaps better than others in Kuching in managing traffic. But hey, nobody likes waiting on treadmills.

So just 3 months in, already I’m looking at having to spend more money buying new hamster machines treadmills for my members.

Meanwhile I gotta pacify my members with freebies. Like giving them sample packs of Milo Fuze 3 in 1 that Nestle Milo® has so generously donated to me.

If anyone thinks running a fitness centre is as simple as buying a bunch of equipment and throwing them in a room, they’re wrong.

I’m having such a difficult time juggling between my roles as Kenny Sia The Blogger, Kenny Sia The Business Owner and Kenny Sia The Human Being that I felt there’s simply not enough time to finish all I wanna do in a day.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish there were three of me.

That’ll make me a 3-in-1 Kenny.

Sadly it’s not possible to have a 3-in-1 Kenny.

But it is possible to have 3-in-1 Milo. And it is even possible to win a new Apple iPhone 3GS and RM1,000 cash prizes if you submit a photo of how you “jam pack” your day with Milo Fuze. That’s pretty awesome incentive just for camwhoring yourself with a pack of 3-in-1 Milo.

Quite a number has already submitted their entry on the Milo Fuze site. The question is, how far are you willing to go?

Will you fly for Milo?

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Suffocate self for Milo?

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Stuff Milo down the blouse for Milo?

Whatever you do, just don’t try too hard like these bunch of sumo wrestlers ok!

Dun wanna know what’ll happen if someone farts inside.

Level Up Fitness Is Hiring!

Since I am already shamelessly neglecting my woefully abandoned blog, I might as well exploit it to the max by publicising some positions I am hiring in my new company.

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BODYPUMP & BODYCOMBAT INSTRUCTOR

You hop onto stage, do some funny dance for 60 minutes and make sure 30+ other people in the studio do the EXACT same thing that you do.

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Like swimming.

Since there are no licensed Les Mills BodyPump/BodyCombat instructor in Kuching, I am happy to hire anyone experienced from throughout Malaysia or Singapore. Whoever wanna go on a free trip to Kuching, e-mail me and I’ll sponsor your flights and stay.

Brazilian instructors who can attract rich tai-tai aunties are welcome to apply. Can do part-time work as gigolo also.

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Ideally I’d want someone who can stay in Kuching for the long-term – at least 3 months lah, but I’m happy even if you can stay for a week or two.

 

MARKETING & COMMUNICATION EXECUTIVE

Since the day my fitness centre opens for business, I find myself juggling multiple balls at the same time.

Huge balls too.

In theory, my position in Level Up Fitness is “Executive Director”.

In practice, my position is “Executive Director / IT Manager / Graphic Designer / Marketing Manager / Front Desk Receptionist / Juice Bar Tender / Cleaner”

In other words, ham pa lang pow ka leow.

This is an ad I designed myself to promote our BLT class. (Don’t ask how I know this exercise is supposed to guarantee a sexier body.)

I need a Marcomm Executive who can help me to copywrite and design artwork for the fitness centre’s various marketing campaigns. You’ll be working very closely with me. Some publishing experience, proficiency in Photoshop and fluency in written English is a must.

Since the internet is a core part of my strategy, this is the only position in the company that I shall allow to blog or Facebook during working hours.

That doesn’t mean you can slack during working hours.

I already know about the “set Microsoft Excel as your desktop background” tactic, so don’t even try that (‘cos I used to use that tactic before myself).

FRONT DESK INTERN

During peak hours, the front desk is easily the busiest part of the fitness centre.

But it’s also the most fun position of the company, because you get to see every member who walks in and out.

Over at my company, being a front desk receptionist is more than just being an attractive young girl in short skirts, greeting members as they walk in.

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I am lucky to have hired really fantastic front desk staff with loads of experience. But I reckon there’s room for one more.

This is an intern position that would suit anyone wanting to gain experience in the hospitality industry. You’ll be trained by my manager, who’s worked in so many front desks around the world she could be re-born as a Japanese zhao chai mao.

 

Interested applicants may e-mail me directly at kennysia@levelupfitness.com

In another news, I dunno why I always accidentally type “Body Pump Instructor” as “Body Pimp Instructor”. 🙁

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