Singapore River Festival 2009

The Singapore River Festival was awesomely fun!


Singapore has always been my favourite big city in this part of the world, only because Singaporeans have always treated me very well and that there always seems to be endless things to do in such a small place.

Taking advantage of the fact that it’s the Great Singapore Sales, I went to Singapore with the returning Pinkpau (fresh from her summer holidays in the States and certified free from swine flu) to also attend the launch of the River Festival.


We were put up at the Park Hotel Clarke Quay. The rooms here are approx S$200 per night, is completely brand new and located smack in the middle of the night entertainment district of Clarke Quay.

I like it that the general manager of the hotel handwritten me a note to welcome my stay.


Nice touch.

Another nice touch was that all non-alcoholic drinks in my room’s minibar was complimentary.


Perfect for inviting unsuspecting girls back from the bar with the pickup line, “Are you thirsty? I have drinks in my room’s minibar.” Unfortunately for me, Singaporean girls are too smart to fall for that. 🙁

I thought my room was very tastefully decorated. However, I ain’t seen nothing yet. When I popped over to Pinkpau’s room to have a look, I was gobsmacked.

Pinkpau’s room is… special.

So special that the only word I can use to describe it is SCANDALOUS.


You see, Pinkpau’s room is one of only three in Park Hotel that features a see-through shower. What that means is that from the bed, you can have full view of your partner washing her armpits or scrubbing her ass crack.

Obviously this type of room is meant for loving couples.

Or zoo animals.


One of the attractions I finally did in Singapore was the Singapore Flyer. 


I’ve been wanting to get on the Flyer since the Jurassic Era. Somehow I’ve always put it off because The Largest Ferris Wheel In The World has always attracted The Longest Queue In Singapore.

When I finally managed to get on the Flyer, I realised why it’s so damn popular.


The flight up to the top was nothing short of breathtaking. So breathtaking that our friend Boss Ming had to take a seat and stablize himself with a few deep breaths when we’re nearing the top.

The dude is scared of heights.


Pinkpau and I, on the other hand, were having a ball.

It’s impressive to see Singapore’s skyline constantly changing. The construction on the left is the new Marina Bay Sands casino, also known as The Most Expensive Casino In The World.


When completed by the end of this year, it’ll cost Singaporeans S$100 to get in. For foreigners, it’s FREE. It’s Singapore’s odd but effective way to limit the negative social impact of gambling.


One of the main highlights of the Singapore River Festival is an appearance by master illusionists ‘Magic Babe’ Ning and JC Sum. The two will attempt to put Singapore in the record books by achieving the World Record for Most Number Of Illusions Performed In Five Minutes.


We were given a preview of what they were capable of during one of their stage shows, where they showed us how they can float in the air, walk through metal, make money appear out of thin air and solve the global economic crisis.

Okay maybe not solve the economic crisis, but they really can make money appear out of thin air one. Don’t play play, but dunno why they still need to charge ppl for entrance!


The opening ceremony of the Singapore River Festival was a VIP event that took place in front of the Asian Civilizations Museum.

Coincidentally on that day, the museum was holding a free exhibitio
n by photographer Steve McCurry, famous for taking this haunting image of The Afghan Girl.



This is Kenny Sia, The Afghan Boy.



The grass lawn in front of the Asian Civilizations Museum were laid out with mats and pillows. IMG_0255

There’s something amazingly unique about lying on the ground, looking up towards this amazing backdrop of blue skies and towering skyscrapers.


The Singapore River comes alive this entire week with an array of free events, activities, parades and parties. During the opening ceremony, we were treated to a variety of ‘modern interpretive’ dances.

Otherwise known as ‘siao lang’ dance. Interpretive dances are always like that. No one knew what those dancers were trying to portray except themselves.

So we made up our own meanings.



Xiaxue: “Wah! Look like Ku Klux Klan.”


Kenny: “Singapore army’s underwater unit, preparing to attack Johor.”



Kenny: “Poor fella kena mobbed during Great Singapore Sale.”

Something substantially more entertaining than those modern interpretive dances though, was the Singapore River Festival’s bumboat parade.


The bumboat parade starts 7:30pm every night from now till this Saturday. I highly recommend having a look at this unique light and musical showcase of traditional boats and dancers in giant bubbles.

For a list of free events and activities during the Singapore River Festival, be sure to click on

We found out the River Taxi Ride is free of charge during the Festival. After the show Pinkpau and I hopped onto one of the boats.


As you can see, Pinkpau absolutely enjoyed it!

Both of us have been to Singapore multiple times, but to see the architecture of the country from the waters while enjoying the breeze blowing in our face was truly an unforgettable experience.

The river at night is amazingly beautiful.


I still find it difficult to imagine that as little as 40 years ago, Singapore was a fishing village no bigger than Kuching. Yet today it’s sprouted into such a beautiful modern city.


The taxi ride took us back to Clarke Quay.

Here, we joined the rest of our friends and partied the night away at The Arena.


Now, here’s the problem.

The party we were going to was a pajama party and the dress code was obviously, pajamas.

The problem is, I don’t wear pajamas to sleep. I have no pajamas in my wardrobe, so I went to Singapore without any form of sleepwear tucked in my suitcase.


Naively, I thought since it’s the Great Singapore Sale, I should be able to easily grab a set at one of Singapore’s many many many many many shopping centres.

So earlier during the day, I asked Stickgal to follow me pajama-shopping at Vivo City.


This is Stickgal. For those who not know, Stickgal is the now-retired comic blogger who inspired this entry.

Vivo City is one of the biggest shopping malls in Singapore, but even after scouring every corner of it, we found no signs of pajamas on sale at all.


Not for men’s anyway.

It wasn’t until we p
opped into La Senza that I finally picked up my attire for the Pajama Party for 70% off.

Yes, LA SENZA. The lingerie shop.




Can’t help it, satin felt soo good.

(My reputation has evaporated.)

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You Know You Are An 80s Baby When

You know you’re born in the 1980s when you grow up listening to songs like:

Aaron Kwok – “Dui Ni Ai Ai Ai Bu Wan.”

*moves hand around in circular motion*

New Kids On The Block – “Step by step. Ooh baby, gonna get to you girllll.”

And of course.

Michael Jackson – Just beat it! Beat it! No one wants to be defeated!

Of course at that time, I was too young to understand English so I always thought Michael Jackson was singing in Malay, “DAH PILIH! PILIH! No one wants to PILIH-PILIH!”

I honestly thought that time he was singing about voting in the General Elections.

Aaron Kwok, New Kids On The Block, Michael Jackson.

Those three icons not only produced the music I grew up listening to, they were the reason why I started listening to pop music. Of course, it may be a bit uncool these days to admit that I was once a fan of their music. But no matter what, these three will always be an integral part of my childhood. Even after NKOTB re-grouped and Aaron Kwok transformed his goodie-2-shoes look to this.

This morning, I woke up to the terrible news that the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson has passed away. He was 50 years old.

Unfortunately, unlike that news I heard about Megan Fox being a man, this one is actually real.


As I drove to work this morning, all the radio stations were paying tribute to Michael Jackson. For just one day only,, Mix FM and LiteFM have turned into MJ FM. The amazing thing is that even after 20 years, songs he wrote in the early 90s still sounded just as awesome as they do in 2009.

Regardless of what controversy he was embroiled in, there is no denial that Michael Jackson was a pop legend in the music industry. He was such a cool and fantastic performer. No matter how many Justin Timberlakes, Ne-Yos or will.i.ams there are today, the truth remains that nobody can sing and dance as well as Michael Jackson did.

Not even this Indian dude right here.


Michael Jackson was to us what Elvis Presley and Teresa Teng were to my parents generation. And I think that his music will continue to live on long after he had gone.

Maybe, just maybe, like Elvis Presley, “The King Of Pop” Michael Jackson will inspire a new breed of MJ impersonators.

It may even be happening already.


May the King of Pop finally rest in peace.


I have not been writing a lot about Kuching.


Partly because I’ve been flying all over the place, and partly also because Kuching has always been same ol’ same ol’ to me. But yesterday morning, as I was driving back from the airport, I was amused to find the main road to the city closed off.

It wasn’t until today when I went to Jalan Song for lunch, that I found out what the road closure was for.


The famous line of trees along Jalan Tun Jugah, the road connecting the airport and Kuching city, is now no more.

There must’ve been about 30 or so century-old trees, all chopped down to make way for the road expansion. When I was there this afternoon, workers were picking off the remaining tree stumps with chainsaws.


I go to the airport all the time and I must have travelled down that road multiple times a week. Each time I return to Kuching, it is those majestic leafy trees protecting me from the harsh sunlight, that welcomes me back home.

Kuala Lumpur may be where I party and Singapore may be my favourite big city, but it is here in my home that I find the perfect balance between kampung and city life.

To me, those gigantic trees lining up Jalan Tun Jugah is the symbol of that balance.


Perhaps I am being sentimental, but I suppose as Kuching develops more into a city, we will see more concrete less trees, more street lamps less sunlight, more grey less green.

Kuching, as I know it, is a romantic city surrounded by mountains, rivers and jungle. But bit by bit, the identity of my hometown as a garden city has to be sacrificed to make way for construction and infrastructure.

And that is something that I will dearly miss.


Oh well, at least it’ll be faster to get to the airport now.

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Japanese Wanted Poster



Have you seen this man?!

The Japanese police is looking for this man, name Mos Burger Selamat, age 29 years old, height 180cm, who is suspected of murdering a British female translator in Akihabara.


We learnt from the recent case of Mas Selamat that releasing images of terrorist suspects to public helps to greatly increase the likelihood of their capture. Therefore, the Japanese police with their superior futuristic Photoshop skills, hereby release two images of how the suspect might look like right now.

This is Exhibit #1, ie the Tokyo Beng look.




This is… EXHIBIT #2!


If you have seen this person, please call 999 immediately.


Do not attempt to approach the suspect with a bouquet of flowers, chocolates or to go on romantic dates!

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ADV: JoyceTheFairy

This entry is about someone I have admired and respected for a very long time.


I have been blogging for over four years now. Throughout this time, I have met many inspiring and talented people who have subconsciously influenced, shaped and changed the way I approach life.

I live in Kuching. My family and work are located here, but my blogging has brought me frequently to Kuala Lumpur.


The capital city can be a frighteningly competitive place.

It’s not unusual to encounter people who’d try to take shortcuts through life, or undercut you in their quest to get to the top. In such a fiercely aggressive environment, ethics and integrity have become secondary. Good guys often lose out. Yet, once in a while, it is encouraging to still come across people who are capable of making a name for themselves through sheer talent, hardwork and PASSION.

One such person I know of, is Joyce Wong.


Some people may wonder what is it about Joyce that made me respect her so much. The thing is, most people online only knew her through her blog at I have the privilege of meeting her in real life and knowing what she’s like behind the computer screens.

Actually, Joyce and I are two vastly different people.

For example, I drink orange for breakfast. She drinks… Guinness.


Her hair style changes once every three months. My hair style remains the same since The Jurassic Era.

Joyce can go out wearing garbage bag and people think it’s fashion.

I go out wearing fashion and people would think I picked it from a garbage bag.

The one thing that we shared in common is that both of us blog, and it is through that that we come to know of each other.

For people who don’t know Joyce, it is very easy to make the mistake writing her off as nothing more than a party princess on first impression.


I was shamefully guilty of that too when I first met her at a bloggers’ gathering four years ago. The big tattoos, wild hair colour and crazy clubbing photos on her blog all seem to give people the false impression that Joyce is all party and no work.

Initially, I too thought the same.


Like most naive people assume, I thought hot chicks would just aspire to live off their rich boyfriends and not think about work. And since Joyce undeniably falls into the category of ‘hot’, I stupidly thought that she might be just like that.

But going out to parties is only a very small part of Joyce. Most of the time, she’s working during those parties but we don’t notice.

As I got to know her better over time, I realised that her fame and success is no fluke.


Joyce is 26 and works in the publishing circles.

She’s been very active in it since I first knew of her four years ago, when she did writing and photography freelance. Even way back then, her services were already heavily sought after by magazines throughout the nation.

I remembered flipping through the magazine sectio in a bookstore once, and almost every publication I picked up has her name or face on it.

The money from freelancing was good and she earned enough to even buy her own car. However, the income stream can be quite unstable. Soon afterwards, she left writing temporarily to take up a marketing job with British American Tobacco.

It’s an entirely different type of job and environment from what she’s used to. It is also something that sapped a lot of energy out of her, and often I see her worked till even later nights.

But one day, a giant light bulb popped over her head. It was the day Joyce decided to fuse together two of her greatest passion: writing and fashion.


Joyce left her former company and spoke to Adrian Yap, founder of KLue and Junk magazines. Being no stranger to blogs, she told Adrian that there is a void in the market with regards to fashion news.

With his publishing know-how and her passion in fashion, Joyce suggested they should combine their superpowers and harness the might of the Internet in order to bring fashion news from all over the South-East Asian region into one spot.

Adrian liked the idea, made her Managing Editor and Joyce went on to work tirelessly to create what is now known as Tongue in Chic.


That was a year ago. Today, TiC is now the undisputed fashion blog in South-East Asia, attracting readers and contributors from not just Malaysia, but Singapore, Thailand, Philippines and even Australia.

Although Tongue in Chic is geared towards girls, personally I can’t help but to check it out time to time. I find it such a great source to look out for sales and improve my hopeless sense of fashion.


The biggest influence Joyce has on me was when she asked if I wanted to shave my head bald for charity late last year.

At that time, I turned her down because the event was in a week’s time and I didn’t have time to think it through properly. Losing my hair is a very big deal!

But then Joyce told me she was gonna go through with it and sure enough, she did.

raised RM20,000 for the Malaysian Paediatric Foundation.

Joyce’s action had left such an effect on me that I actually felt embarrassed I was so protective over my hair. Here’s a girl, who manages a fashion blog, yet is able to shave her head bald when asked.

What more a guy like me, right?


That is the reason why, when Honda Motorsports asked me to nominate somebody who can live up to their challenging spirit of Passion and Dedication, I have no doubt Joyce would fit the bill.

Here’s an individual that works hard, plays hard and ultimately, instrumental in changing and improving KL’s art, fashion and entertainment scene.

For that, she has my full support.


If you also know of somebody who has inspired you through their spirit of passion and dedication, perhaps you too can nominate them.

Because it is time we recognize them for the impact they have made.

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Japanese Capsule Hotel

Two months ago, I had the opportunity to travel to Japan.


It was a company trip, so the whole group of us were supposed to be on an organized tour where everything was catered for. Me being me, I took the liberty to fly to Tokyo a few days earlier so I can have more time to explore The Land of Weird and Wonderful on my own.

Tokyo is easily the most expensive city in Japan. Here, a very simple and basic 3-star hotel room cost around RM500 a night. I knew if I didn’t budget properly, I could use up all my money and end up like one of these guys.


Which is why in order to play safe, I decided that on my first night in Tokyo, I should stay in the cheapest hotel accommodation available.

A capsule hotel.


Capsule hotels are relatively cheaper in Tokyo. I paid 4,000 yen, or RM140 a night to stay here.

While RM140 can easily get you a superior room at The Hilton in Sarawak, in Tokyo this is what it got me.


Yes. A morgue.

More specifically, my hotel room is one of those "capsules" I have to climb into.

Here, let me give you a tour of my hotel room.


Yep, that’s all. Thank you for coming to my hotel room.

It’s quite unbelievable really.


My "capsule" is only big enough to fit one person in. For RM140, I get a reasonably comfortable bed with pillow and blanket, and enough room to sit upright only.

To my left is a mirror. To my right are controls for the lights, air-conditioning, FM radio and TV.


Yes, surprisingly they managed to fit a small television in such a small space there. Even more surprising is that they deemed it necessary to fit a television there.

To get over the fact that I am essentially sleeping inside a human pigeon-hole, I closed my eyes and imagined I was sleeping inside The Hilton. Besides, once you close your eyes, it doesn’t matter if you’re staying in a 5-star hotel or a 1-star capsule, everything looks the same.

Despite the tiny little cramp space, I had a reasonably pleasant sleep on my first night in a capsule. My only complaint is that the walls aren’t exactly sound-proof, because I could hear my neighbour fart when he woke up.


I was given a set of keys when I checked in. These open up a locker where I was provided with amenities like toothbrush, towel and a Japanese yukata.



I took off my clothes, put on my yukata and got ready to go into the shower. And this is where it gets a little bit freaky.


According the a sign outside the communal bathroom, I’d have to take off my underwear before entering the shower.

Now, I have two problems with that:
1) I am not comfortable with other men seeing my pee pee.
2) I am not comfortable seeing other men’s pee pee!

Then again, I guess when in Rome, I must do as the Romans do.

Therefore when in Tokyo, I must take my underwear off too.


Besides, it’s not like I have never seen Japanese dicks before. Eh, I’ve seen the occasional Japanese porn on the Internet sometimes, so I know how Japanese pee pee look like.

Anyway, I entered the communal bathroom. And luckily no one was inside, so no one saw my naked pee pee, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, my excitement was short-lived.

Barely two minutes into scrubbing myself, a Japanese dude walked into the bathroom. And that’s when I got the ultimate shock of my life!


(According to Japanese comics, this is the stupid action people do when they got "a shock of their life")

How come the pee pee on that Japanese dude was nothing like what I saw in Japanese porn?





His pee pee got no square square thing covering it one!

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ADV: Big Cameras Vs Small Cameras

One question I get asked a lot as a blogger, is unfortunately not “Can I date you?”

Taken with an SLR

It is, “Eh Kenny, which camera you using har?”

Ever since I started blogging, has always been a blog that relies very heavily on photos. I like it that way.

Pictures tell a better story and contrary to popular belief, I’m not very good with words. So, my most valuable blogging arsenal is my digital camera.

Taken with a slim camera

When I heard Ben and Phat Fabes on the radio debating over which is the better camera between pro SLRs and compact slim cams, I felt compelled to give them my dua puluh sen.

Taken with a slim camera

Throughout these four years blogging, I have tried and tested many different digital cameras. It started with the ancient 3-megapix fatty I bought second-hand off eBay five years ago, to the big ass pro SLR that I use now.

I have used many different types of cameras, the one thing that never change is this love-hate relationship I have with them.

Taken with an SLR

Over the years, I kept abandoning them and getting new ones. If you asked me which one is my favourite, I can’t really tell because each of them their pros and cons.

These days, depending on the occasion, I could use up to three different types of cameras.

Taken with an SLR

If I have no cameras with me, then obviously I use my phone to take picture lah.

Taken with an SLR

If I’m moving around a lot I’ll slip a slim camera into my pocket before I go out – just in case something interesting happens.

If I’m travelling or going to places where I expect to be taking lots of photos, then I’ll have no choice but to lug the hideously fat pro cam with me.

Taken with a slim camera

I have no choice because my pro cam takes far better quality pictures than my slim cam anytime.

Lemme show you an example.

This is a photo taken using a compact camera, at the cliffs near Uluwatu, Bali.



This is the exact same scene taken using an SLR camera.

Taken using an SLR 

There’s no fight there, isn’t it?

Under the right conditions, it’s very possible to take really amazing photos using an SLR that literally jump out and scream at you.

Taken with an SLR

I especially enjoyed playing with the shutter speed during night time to produce effects like this.

Taken with an SLR

So, it doesn’t matter where I go. I knew I’d regret if I didn’t bring my SLR.

As much as I admit SLRs take fantastic photos, there is something I must confess.



Yes, SLR takes fantastic pictures. Its ugly and humungous size aside, there are many reasons why I think SLR cameras seriously suck.

1. SLR cams cannot do videos. How the heck is it that a RM500 cheap camera can take videos and a RM3,000 supposedly “professional” ones cannot even do the same?

2. SLR cams do not allow me to compose a shot using the LCD screen. My only choice is to see my picture through the ‘hole’.

Taken with an SLR

Sadly, many times what I see through the optical viewfinder is completely different from what I get when I hit the shutter button.

3. SLR cams are notoriously cumbersome to use for people who are not familiar with it. You’ll know what I mean when you ask a restaurant waiter to take a photo of you.

Taken with an SLR

Half the time they fumble looking at so many buttons on the machine. Another half the time they were staring at the blank LCD screen confusingly.

4. There is no way I could bring an SLR camera into a club or a stadium. I almost got my SLR permanently confiscated when I brought it to Old Trafford earlier this year. How silly is it that I pay so much money to attend an event, but only allowed to snap photos of it using a cheap cam?


I maxed out the zoom already still cannot see the player’s faces!

5. Have you seen people camwhoring using SLRs?


It’s ridiculous. And stupid.

For that reason, I much prefer to go out with my slim cam in my pants.

I leave my SLRs at home because there’s no way I could fit it in
my pocket without looking like an idiot.

Taken with an SLR

It’s a real pity I couldn’t have the best of both worlds.

Digital cameras are a bit like girls.

You know the heavy ones can do a great job, but it’s the skinny ones you really wanna bring out in public.


That’s why lah. After years of using an SLR for, I again flirted with the idea of going back exclusively to compact cameras.

Point-and-shoot compact cameras have come a long way. Image quality has improved. Pixel counts have gone up. Many also come with pre-programmed ‘scene modes’ to make it easier to take good photos without fiddling with manual settings.

Taken with prosumer

All these, and still they managed to go on a diet and slim down in size.

Of course, I’m gonna miss my 200mm zoom lens and the ability to snap brightly-coloured photos with awesome depth-of-field.

Taken with an SLR

But it’s a compromise I shall have to bear.

Besides, 99% of the pictures I take ended up downsized before they’re uploaded to the Internet anyway. I’m not working for National Geographic (yet). So all those effort lugging around an SLR ain’t gonna justify the end result.

For me, for now, it’s goodbye SLR, hello compact cameras.

Big Cameras vs Small Cameras, whose side are you on?

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Susan Boy

The party last Saturday night was a total hoot.


Like all Nuffnang parties, there’s always a theme to go with it and all guests are expected to comply. This time the dress code was “Standout”, inspired after Tiger’s new bottle designs.

It’s pretty much open to interpretation what the term “standout” as a dress code implies, and true enough everyone who came to the party dressed differently.

Some came in their typical Saturday night outfit.

 Photo courtesy of

Others put in a lot of effort to look like a farm animal.

Photo courtesy of 

Me? I came as the best standout performer in this year’s Britain’s Got Talent.



I came as… Susan Boyle.


Strangely, I reckon I looked more like Albert Einstein in drag.

It was the first time I wore a dress out in public. One thing I noticed is that people treat me differently in a dress. Everyone I talked to seem to particularly enjoy fondling my manboobs.

Seriously, I lost count at the number of times I was molested by guys and girls alike.


The best part was when this girl poked my chest and asked, “Eh you got stuff something inside ah? Why your neh neh so big one?”

“No babe, that’s my actual man boobs.”

“Oh sorry sorry!”


At one point in the evening, Liang and Jojo Struys called me up on stage. I was to be nominated as one of the finalists for the “Standout King & Queen” awards.

The Cow and Edward Scissorshand were the other two male nominees. As part of the routine, each of us had to perform something based on what we’re dressed as. So if you’re dressed as a belly-dancer, all you gotta do is belly-dance.


I smirked to myself. This is easy. How difficult is it imitate Susan Boyle singing?

By the time my turn came to face the crowd, I was holding the microphone ready to sing “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables.

Kenny: Do you want to hear me sing?
Crowd: NO!!!
Kenny: No? Then what do you expect me to do?!
Crowd: FLASH!!!
Kenny: What?
Kenny: Hey! I’m a 47-year-old woman!


The crowd would have none of it. I thought long and hard about whether or not to keep my dignity, or give the crowd what they want and let them go home happy.

Times like these I think to myself, “What would Susan Boyle do?”

Would Susan Boyle leave her fans hanging? Of course not.


So I climbed on top of a table, danced a little.

And when the time is right, I turned around and…


Photo courtesy of

Flashed them my p#^&*%.

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Blu-Ray Blues

This is a true story that took place at my friendly neighbourhood pirated DVD shop.

Kenny: Eh boss, you got Blu-Ray discs or not?
Boss: Got! Got! Got new stock today also. Wait har, I get it for you.

The shopkeeper disappeared through the curtains behind the store and re-emerged with a big black plastic bag.

Boss: Nah which one you want? Buy 4 get 1 free. Got Chinese, Japanese, American, Thailand, Korean…

Kenny: Boss, I said Blu-Ray… NOT BLUE FILM!


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