West Side Of Ireland

Dublin was great, but I knew I had to get away.

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Somebody wanted to kill me.

No lah, Dublin was truly fantastic. But I knew I was not getting a true taste of Ireland if I merely stayed within the confines of the city. So on my second day in Ireland, I decided to leave the city and explore the Irish countryside, on my rented red Volkswagen Polo.

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Hiring a car in Ireland is cheap. At just €17 (RM80) a day, it’s a real bargain.

Getting around however, is not cheap. In Ireland, the petrol prices are around €1.10 (RM 5.20) a litre. That’s more than double the price in Malaysia. It’s so expensive it could easily cost me over RM 250 just to fill up a tank.

Ridiculous.

No wonder petrol station in Ireland is EMO!

So I drove from Dublin on the east side of Ireland, all the way to Galway on the west.

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The journey along the highway was largely boring and uneventful.

There was nothing see at all. Except for a river. AND IT SUCKS.

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Literally.

I was relieved when I finally reached Galway after three hours on the road, and promptly checked myself into this cozy romantic Bed & Breakfast called Petra House (€50, or RM240).

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Petra House was quite possibly the most charming B&B I have ever stayed at.

The house is like a cottage straight out of fairy tale book and is run entirely by a friendly husband-and-wife team. My room was spotlessly clean and they served the most deliciously awesome breakfast I had during my entire stay in Ireland.

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Gotta love those ceramic ware. Anyway, I’m most definitely bringing a future girlfriend here with me next time, whenever that may be.

The natural landscape of West Ireland is a completely different creature altogether from the big smoke that is Dublin.

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As touristy as they may be, the west side has the most awe-inspiring landscape I have ever seen in my entire life.

The highlight of the trip, however, was this jaw-dropping sight.

Cliffs of Moher

This the Cliffs of Moher, the most spectacular destination in County Clare.

I did not have plans to visit West Ireland initially. And then, I saw a picture of it on a tourist brochure and promptly told myself I have to go there no matter what.

That’s how gung-ho I was. That’s why I drove 3 hours all the way to the West. And I was not disappointed.

Moher Tower

It took me a whole day of driving and I arrived at the Cliffs of Moher shortly after sunset. It’s a good thing though. By then, the hordes of tourists have already departed, and I have the whole place all to myself.

There, I sat on the grass in solitary, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing, breathing in the fresh air of the Atlantic Sea and enjoying the sheer majesty of the 210m high cliffs.

I was at peace.

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Pictures do not do the beauty of the place any justice whatsoever.

Never before have I seen a seascape this amazing. Not even Great Ocean Road in Australia or Halong Bay in Vietnam can compare to how impressive the Cliffs of Moher are.

My only regret is that I didn’t bring a tripod. As a result, the only picture I had of myself with the Cliffs is this stupid photo.

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Spoil the picture only.

I love it that the Irish knew how to preserve their natural landscape and chose not to erect any barricades to protect people from falling. The downside is, a lot of people have died after accidentally falling over the ledge.

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But hey if I had a choice, I’d choose die there as well. It’s too beautiful to leave.

Of course, there are other things to see in West Ireland.

The Burren

Like the stone-covered barren landscape of The Burren.

Kylemore Abbey

The Kylemore, a Christian monastery that looks more like a castle.

Lake by Kylemore Abbey

And in general, just endless stretches of postcard-quality sceneries that made me felt like I was living in an entirely different planet.

The Emerald Isle is truly a gem.

Serene lake

Sure, it was lonely travelling alone.

At the same time, it was also very therapeutic for me to drive around on my own in my rental car, listening to Irish bands like Boyzone and Westlife on the radio.

Boats by the lake

My luck in discovering “hidden gems” away from the usual tourist routes continued when I stopped by a little town called Cong.

There was nothing special about the town itself. But I was drawn in by the sight of this derelict church by the roadside.

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The church was clearly abandoned and now used as a graveyard. Tombstones were littered all over the church floor.

As I explored a bit, I stumbled across a back gate which leads to the beautiful but hauntingly quiet Cong Woods.

Cong Woods

Already I felt calm and relaxed just looking this picture. I don’t even need Enya.

It was raining and there was not a single soul in sight. Something just tells me this place is magical.

I guess if fairies were real, then this must be where they live.

Cong Woods

This was more than just a sightseeing trip to me. It was also something spiritually and emotionally fulfilling.

Being alone in the quiet woods, I found myself having the space and clarity to think about things I never had time nor concentration to think about back home. Things like where I want to go in my life, what I want to do with my career and so on.

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In that sense, I think I’ve found what I was looking for before I set out on this trip. I drove back to Dublin feeling much refreshed and energized.

One thing I definitely noticed while driving around the Irish countryside was how exceptionally friendly the rural folks are.

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When I lived in Perth, I was already used to smiling and saying “hi!” to strangers if I was walking on the streets. But in rural Ireland, they took it a step further.

Apparently, if you are driving along a stretch of road and another vehicle passes you in front, it is customary for you both to lift your fingers up, as if to give each other a bit of a “hi!” through the windscreens.

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I thought that was a pretty cool culture to have.

The good news is, Malaysians are beginning to catch up.

I remember last time I was driving along the North-South Highway. This driver in a modified Kancil overtook me and greeted me the Irish way as well.

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Except he forgot to lift his four other fingers up.

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Sailing Across The Irish Sea

If I get the chance to return to North Wales again in the future, I’m definitely spending more time in Snowdonia National Park.

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I had planned to spend a day just hiking through the Welsh countryside, but on both days that I was in Conwy it was either raining, snowing, or both. Nigel advised me against hiking in Snowdonia, considering 4 hikers have actually died this year due to the mountain’s unpredictable weather.

For the record, this is what Snowdonia looks like on a good day.

Instead of hiking, my host drove me through the scenic routes of Snowdonia, passing by many quaint Welsh villages to take me to the ferry terminal.

Along the way, we stopped by to see more castles.

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More sheep.

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More thousand-year-old ruins.DSC_7632 

 

And picked up a leaflet featuring Gandalf the Wizard with a suspicious-looking boner.

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Look at how happy he is stroking his boner! That perve.

About an hour later, we arrived at the port town where my ferry to Dublin (£28 or RM147 one way) departs.

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The town has a very amusing name – Holyhead.

This must be the place where Holy Molly, Holy Cow and Holy Shit come from.

Too bad I didn’t have time to wander around.  But according to what I read, Holyhead is also where the first Church of Jedi Knights in UK is established.

No shit.

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The Force is strong in Holyhead. So much so that almost half a million people in the UK officially list their religion as “Jedi”, surpassing even Buddhism.

I believe they have an important day coming up on the 4th May.

May the Fourth be with you.

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After two days having the luxury of a local bring me around, I am finally on my own. So I bid Nigel (and the sheep) in Wales goodbye, hopped on the ferry and set forth for Dublin.

The “ferry” I boarded is not a ferry. Ferry to me are like the ones crossing Georgetown and Butterworth.

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The ferry I boarded in Holyhead is so huge, I thought it should be called a cruise ship. Like the Titanic.

I had to suppress my urge of holding a stranger from behind while Celine Dion sings “My Heart Will Go On” in the background.

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The 100km journey across the Irish Sea took two hours to cover.

Apart from some rough waves, it was a pretty comfortable ride. There were casino machines and a movie theatre on board to help pass time, but I chose to get some shut eye.

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When I finally arrived in Dublin, it was dark, cold and wet.

Truth to be told, when I got off the bus in the city centre, I was quite disappointed.

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On the surface, Dublin looked almost exactly like any other Western cities I had been to. Dublin looks like Melbourne, which looks like Auckland, which looks like London, which looks like Sydney, which looks like… well, you get the idea. The centre of Dublin city is pretty much just rows and rows of old-school Victoria style buildings along the river punctuated by a skyscraper or two every now and then.

There wasn’t anything different or interesting. In fact, I thought Dublin was boring.

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However, that was just the cosmetics, the superficial outer shell of the city. As I scratched a bit deeper, my impression of the Emerald Isle changed dramatically.

Indeed, the true flavour of Ireland lies not in its buildings or architecture.

It lies in its people.

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I was given the perfect orientation to what Irish people are like when I walked into Hard Rock Cafe looking for my first pint of Guinness.

Beer was going at €4 (RM 19), which is extremely cheap by Dublin’s standards. As a result, the bar inside Hard Rock Cafe was madly bustling with people. I was standing as close I possibly could to the bar for 20 minutes, and still they hadn’t taken my order. Frustration began to grow.

It certainly didn’t help that I was the only Asian guy there, and everyone else was at least 2 feet taller than me.

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Suddenly, a young local bloke came up from behind me and just started talking to me. A strong smell of alcohol escaped from his breath alongside his thick Irish accent (which made him sound like Ronan Keating).

Irishman: GEEZUZ! Is there a fucking queue here?!
Kenny: Yeah! I’ve been here 20 minutes and still haven’t got served.
Irishman: TWENTY MINUTES?! GEEZUZ! *raised his head to look at the queue* Ahhh forget it! Listen, I’ve smuggled a bottle in here. Why don’t you join me and my mates for drinks over there?
Kenny: *shrugs* Sure, why not?

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And just like that, I found myself drinking with the locals after just three hours in this country.

We were cracking jokes and having a laugh till the bar closes. Even I surprised myself with how fast I managed to settle in. Who needs a travel partner when you can just come in here and befriend the locals?

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This must be what they called ‘craic’ – a distinctively Irish word meaning fun times, good laughs and great company over a couple of drinks.

Irish people are among the friendliest, funniest and sociable bunch I have ever met. They are so approachable that you could just walk into a bar, talk to strangers and have drinks with them.

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We don’t have a lot of that in Malaysia. When was the last time a total stranger invited you for drinks? The only time they would do that is if they wanna get into your pants. Or sell you insurance.

I think we oughta learn to be more Irish.

 

 

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Let’s start with the fashion.

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Having A Wales Of A Time

I had the best uninterrupted sleep for ten hours straight in the Welsh countryside.

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So I woke the next morning and noticed that the flock of sheep was still lustfully staring at me through the bedroom window. They must have been staring at me all night long, while I was asleep. Wonder what is it about me that they are so interested.

I may be as hairy as they are, but hey, can’t they see I’m not their kind?

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This is Nigel’s humble little abode and where I stayed during my two days in Conwy. Nigel works from home and in his spare time, runs his online business selling aromatherapy products at naturalbeautyandhealth.co.uk

It may not look like much from the outside, but Nigel is renovating the building all by himself. Seems like in the West, it is common practice for the man of the family to do up his house with his own hands.

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It’s different here in Malaysia where we can just pay some migrant workers peanuts to do the dirty job for us.

After breakfast, I hopped into Nigel’s car, ready to see what Conwy has to offer!

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The entire North Wales is dotted with castles, and Conwy is a historic town very much like Malacca.

Unlike Malacca, the historical site in Conwy is not just one tiny gate. The star attraction here is the imposing Conwy Castle located right smack in the middle of a living, breathing town. It’s close to 800 years old and still extremely well-preserved.

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It was unlike anything I’ve encountered before in my extensive travels. I could not resist the opportunity to climb up the highest turret of the castle and indulged in my fantasy pretending to be a knight in shining armour.

Except my “shining armour” is not an armour, but the extra 20kg of fat around my waist.

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One thing I can’t deny is that the views from up the castle is breathtakingly awesome. I like how Conwy is small enough to be surrounded by the 800-year-old castle wall, because it lends the town a very medieval feel.

The funny thing is, I LIKE that medieval feel.

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Maybe it’s the countless Warcraft and Age of Empires games I’ve been playing, but I felt extremely comfortable walking on top the castle in a medieval town. As if I really belonged here.

Either that, or I’m just a big giant nerd.

Please don’t give me The Wedgie.

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We left Conwy shortly afterwards to explore the surrounding places. Being a local, Nigel knows all the hidden gems and brought me to all the places off the beaten track.

Like this giant rock erected in the middle of nowhere.

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It doesn’t look like much at all on first glance, but I was told that this is a “Standing Stone”. Apparently, this big stone that was once worshipped by The Druids 4,000 years ago.

The Druids? I thought they only existed in computer games.

Or in World Wrestling Entertainment together with The Undertaker.

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This is another 4,000-year-old prehistoric stone structure built by The Druids which functions as a burial chamber. Instead of wasting land and burying people in individual tombs, The Druids used to just chuck dead bodies into this hole, hundreds at a time until it’s full.

Nowadays it functions as an excellent bomb shelter in case of World War III.

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The Welsh landscape reminds me of something straight out of the Lord of the Rings. Even in late winter, when all the plants are dead, it still looks quite amazing.

One thing I noticed about Wales is how much stone walls they have.

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There are miles and miles of stone walls here, all built by hand. At first I thought the walls are there to separate the sheep, but then I don’t know why they need it to be made of stone?

Then I thought, presumably it’s to defend the Humans against the Orcs.

Like in Warcraft III. Damn those green-skinned Orcs!

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Another thing that impressed me is how beautiful the cemeteries in Wales are.

It’s very different from the ones we have in Malaysia. Our graveyards are so spooky they are used for horror movies.

In Wales, all their dearly departed are buried in some amazingly serene location, either atop a hill or right next to the sea.

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This is like the ultimate luxury, the 5-star hotel version of a resting place.

It’s actually very calming just to chill out and sit around here. You don’t even realised you’re being surrounded by hundreds of dead bodies.

Until someone tap you on the shoulder and you turn around and realise no one was there.

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This is one of my favourite pictures taken in Wales, of 15th century tea house by the bridge.

I thought the house looks very pretty and romantic. Until I was told the name of the house is something ridiculous-sounding like Tu Hwnt i’r Bont.

That’s like having a cute girl at the club wink at you, then coming up to you and say “Hi! My name is Kitty Ba Na Na.

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Nigel had to return home early to prepare dinner. But the sun was still up and I wasn’t ready to call it a day yet. Without any destination in mind, I decided to set out on my own and wander around the area.

The walk I had in Conwy Valley was easily one of the most memorable ones I had ever done.

 

Being late winter, the tourists had not invaded while the locals prefer to stay at home. With the streets and parks deserted, I virtually had the whole great outdoors to myself.

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I walked aimlessly until I arrived at a quaint old gate. There’s an arrow on it saying “Walking Path” so I continued walking, until I eventually heard sounds of water flowing.

A few minutes later, I arrived at the site of the most picturesque river streams I had ever seen.

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Amazing.

I don’t even know my way around and I managed to stumble across such a breath-taking sight so easily.

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The best part is, there was absolutely no one else around but myself.

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I was just sitting there, soaking up the calmness and serenity of the place, thinking this is exactly what I was looking for when I travel – a chance to really relax my mind and free myself from all the stress I have back home.

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I love it. If this were in China, they would’ve made hordes of noisy tourists descend upon it already.

I honestly did not want to leave.

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Alas, it was getting dark. If I were to linger around any longer I surely would not be able to find my way back.

I arrived back at my host’s house in time for dinner. My jaw dropped looking at what was laid out on the dining table.

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Roast Welsh lamb, complete with mint sauce, served with mashed potatoes, carrot and leek on the side, drenched lovingly with homemade brown gravy.

Knowing my favourite beer, they even prepared Guinness Draught for me to go with my meal!

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Dessert was the sinfully delicious bread & butter pudding, another traditional Welsh recipe. There were so much good food and the portions were so huge I had trouble finishing them.

It was Welsh hospitality at its best. I was truly very pampered by Nigel and Diane.

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I actually felt quite sad having to leave Wales. It is such a magical place. Everything is so breathtakingly beautiful that I find it very difficult to leave.

As I prepared myself for bed, I looked out the window and saw a familiar face staring back at me.

 

It’s those damn sheep again.

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And this time, HE’S HORNY.

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Falling Asleep In Wales

While I was in Manchester, I was deciding on how to get myself to Ireland.

 

I got two choices to travel from Manchester to Dublin.

Obviously, the fastest and cheapest way is to fly. There are heaps of low-cost airlines in the UK. If I book early a one-way trip to Ireland could cost as low as EUR 10 (RM48).

The other way is to take the train and travel overland through the country of Wales. From there, I can then hop on a ferry to cross the Irish Sea to Dublin.

This takes longer, more expensive and yet somehow it seems more exciting to me.

Most Malaysians don’t know where Wales is. In fact, unless they’ve been to the UK, most Malaysians probably don’t know Wales as a country even exists.

A lot of us tend to think that England = Great Britain = United Kingdom, which is a bit insulting if you were to relate it to the Welsh. Because it is a bit like saying Selangor = Peninsular = Malaysia. 

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United Kingdom is a union of four countries, England being just one of them. Wales is another member of the UK, and it has its own political and cultural identity that is very much distinct from the English.

It also has the most kickass flag I ever seen. Because no other country in this world can claim to have a freaking DRAGON on their flag but Wales.

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The difference between England and Wales is apparent as soon as my train crossed the country border.

Immediately, I noticed road signs here are written in two languages: English and Gibberish.

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It wasn’t until later that I realised "Gibberish" is actually the country’s official language, Welsh.

I find the Welsh language incredibly fascinating. To be able to speak Welsh fluently, you’d first have to hiss and cough and generally make the kinda sounds that only Gollum from Lord of the Rings could make.

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Most things written in Welsh are too long and complicated to pronounce.

For example, the word "humps" in Welsh is "twmpathau".

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I can imagine the Black Eyed Peas is gonna have so much trouble singing "My Humps" in Welsh.

Anyway, after a 2.5 hour train ride, I finally arrived at a station called Llandudno, which I found out later is NOT pronounced “LAN-DUDE-NO” in Welsh.

My friend Nigel was waiting for me when I arrived at the train station.

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Nigel is a Welshman who was planning his visit to Sarawak once, and stumbled across my entry on the Kuching Food Awards. He travelled to Kuching earlier this year and I had the privilege of taking him and his son around to sample our local food.

Little did I know that three months later I would have the chance to visit his hometown as well, and he was nice enough to offer me a place to stay and take me around.

We were supposed to do some sight-seeing on my first day in Conwy, Wales. But I just came off a fourteen hour long flight journey so I was honestly too pooped to do anything at all. I just wanna crash!

So Nigel took me back, and after an excellent dinner cooked by him and his wife Diane, I was ready to hit the sack.

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The one thing I love about the Welsh countryside is that it is so peaceful and quiet. So peaceful in fact that it is IMPOSSIBLE not to relax.

When I was younger, I suffered from insomnia. One technique I used is to close my eyes and imagine in my head “how many sheep jump over the fence” to lull myself to sleep.

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But in countryside Wales, there is no need to do that at all.

Because there is always a herd of sheep staring at me outside my bedroom window

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Even if I cannot sleep, looking at them will confirm make me fall asleep.

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Back From A World Tour Of Sorts

Got this in my email sometime ago which made me smile so much to no end.
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I’m not sure if I should feel flattered that The West End Dance Academy in Perth went through all that trouble to do that for me, or embarrassed because I know myself the stuff I write aren’t always appropriate for err… fragile minds.
Regardless, I was tickled by their efforts. Stuff like that never fails to lift my spirits no matter how stressed out I am.
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I am back in the office and back home in Kuching now.
The past four weeks have been absolutely insane for me in terms of travelling. I was on a world tour of sorts, stopping by the UK, Ireland, Sandakan and Japan within a short span of time.
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Each of those destinations has been interesting, unique and enriching in its own way. Along my journey, I met so many amazingly warm and helpful people and learnt so much.
I’ll write about my experience once I find time in my schedule to gather my thoughts. For now, I’m probably gonna put off flying for a while (unless I win the MAS Great Escapade contest lah) and focus on work.
In the meantime,
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please be careful of your head.

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Malaysian Dreamgirl Final Five

Even while I am away, I have been keeping up with my weekly dose of Malaysian Dreamgirl drama (read: catfight) whenever I get an internet connection.

Two girls were voted out last week, leaving Ming, Juanita, Natasha, Dawn and Pinky. With only a few weeks left till MDG is over, tension between the final five is so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

In my capacity as an official online judge though, I am not gonna give my marks based on who’s right or who’s wrong with the ongoing Ming-Juanita-Natasha drama. I’m just gonna judge the girls purely on how well they did in this week’s photoshoot.
This week’s photoshoot is prepared by Shawn Cutler and Wella, so it’s all about the hair, which means less smiles, more high-fashion, more fierce, more oomph.

Juanita
Say what you like about Juanita. One thing I am certain of, she’s a pro.

That stare on her face is giving me goose bumps. Maybe’cos she’s been practisingit on Natasha. Regardless, this is the kinda photo that would fit perfectly well on a billboard.

There is no reason for Juanita to feel insecure. This Johor girl packs more than enough punch in her fists to take home this competition. She is that damn good and she totally deserves to be in the Top 3.
8 out of 10

Dawn
I think Shawn Cutler did a great job on Juanita.

But I cannot say the same for their work on Dawn.
I mean, the first thing that came to mind when I saw her photo was this:

It’s none of Dawn’s fault really. It is just way too difficult to give her a high score for something that looks as funny as that.
6 out of 10.

Ming
A lot of people, me included, fell in love with Ming for her uniquely Oriental features. It is that different look of hers that sets her apart from the others.

Unfortunately, the make-up crew have taken the whole “Oriental” theme a little bit too far.

They turned Ming into a panda.
Again, it’s none of her fault. She is still one of my favourites in the competition. Truth is, I have seen her pulled off much better photos than that. But for now, I can’t look at that photo without feeling the urge to feed her bamboo.
5 out of 10.

Natasha
Oh this girl is so fierce when she fights.

But how come the ferocity in her doesn’t translate into the photos? I dunno. Elaine Daly says “give me FIERCE” and Natasha drops to a frown. It is a very average photo, and didn’t blow me away as much as I hope she would.
Hey at least, she performed better than the two fan favourites, Ming and Dawn.
7 out of 10.

Pinky
So, the cookie-cutter Chinese lala girl broke out from her mould and ventured into high fashion.

And she nailed it.
Before this, I had doubts that with Pinky’s looks, she could do anything more than just handing out brochures during PIKOM PC Fair. But this is such a kickass photo of her that I am now forced to swallow my own words.
This is Pinky’s best work yet.
9 out of 10.

I must admit, I find this season of MDG so much more addictive.

My favourite part of the show is always the phone conversations the girls have with their loved ones. Never since Cindy Tey’s call with her dad has MDG been so entertaining.
Two moments from MDG stuck out for me thus far.
Firstly, Pinky. If Pinky doesn’t win the Chevrolet, at least she can find comfort in receiving kennysia.com’s Award for Most Confusing Girlfriend.

Excerpt from Episode 10-5.
Pinky: Please let me gooooo…
Ah Fai:Stay for another week or something. This week I voted for you also.
Pinky: DON’T LAH! DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY! Don’t vote again.
*The following week in Episode 12-4*
Pinky: Eh you know yesterday I was one of the bottom three!
Ah Fai: Then? Do you feel like going home?
Pinky: Then you stop voting me already ah?
Ah Fai: I don’t know… I don’t know whether I should vote for you or not.
Pinky: You know yesterday I was so sad! When Elaine called my name I was shocked. Then I really thought you stopped voting me already. And then I cry you know!
Ah Fai: Really ah?
Pinky: *cry* I know last week I said I dun want to be here. But now I want to be here already! *sob* *sniff* *WHEEZ*
Ah Fai: ?!?!?
If you think Pinky’s conversation with her boyfriend was weird, wait till you hear Ming’s phone call with her Dad in Episode 9-3. After watching this, I now proclaim myself Number One Fan of Ming’s Dad.

Ming: Hello Mommy! Tomorrow elimination already you know so today have to vote vote vote!
Mom: I know, you talk to Daddy first. I am washing my stove har, you hold on!
Dad: Hi Ming! How are you? Tell you something har. In your blog har… WHOA, OH MY GOD man!
*blabbers on*
Dad: You want to talk to Mommy for a while? I am bathing now.
Mom: Hello Ming!
That is so weird. Somehow, I have this image in my head that inside Ming’s house, the stove is located inside the bathroom.

Either that, or Ming’s dad was taking his bath in the kitchen sink.

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ADV: The Secret To Pouring A Perfect Glass Of Beer

Wonder if everyone has watched this video floating around on the Internet.

I love that ad so much.
Because that was my EXACT reaction when Heineken invited me to their brewery Tavern at Sungei Way.

Many have heard of The Tavern, but few people have been allowed to step inside. Unless special prior arrangements were made, the freshest free flow of beer in Malaysia are usually off limits to all but the invited guests of the factory.
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Heineken is one of the main sponsors the UEFA Champions League and has been planning a lot of activities for football fans to watch the Champions League grand final either live in Rome, or on a big screen in a private island together with fans from around the world.
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For a chance to win an all-expense paid trip to watch the Champions League final live in Rome, they’re asking guests to RSVP themselves at www.heineken.com.my to one of Heineken’s A Night In Paris Rome parties happening in Ipoh, Johor, Miri and KL.
It’s worth a shot, but invitations to the parties are limited and only three winners will be selected to go to Rome.
Most people would probably have a better chance winning the trip to watch the Champions League final on a private beach in Thailand instead.
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Bikini model not included.
What is included is the tickets to Thailand, free flow of Heineken beer, and an all-round great time together football fans around the world.
True to Heineken’s penchant for online games, the only way to win those tickets to Thailand is by putting your football knowledge to a test at www.starfinal.com.
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It’s an online game with a twist. The more questions you answer correctly, the smarter you are in multiplayer strategy, the quicker your raft will move towards Destination Thailand.
While mingling over beer at the Tavern, the couple of us decided to take part in an impromptu Heineken Beer-Pouring Competition.

The master bartender was on hand to demonstrate what it takes to make a good pour.
Believe it or not, eventhough the beer may come from the same tap, different bartenders will produce beer that tastes differently.
A good pour will give a beer that has a foamy head of approximately two fingers’ height.

If the head is too thick, then the first sip will end up being all foam. If the head is too thin, the beer is gonna taste flat and metallic.
Trust me, it’s a lot more difficult than it seems!
Each of us had a go at it and for some reason all the girls did very well despite none having any experience whatsoever behind the bar.

The guys, to put it bluntly, sucked. Try as we may, all the guys had trouble putting a decent head on the beer. The only guy who did well (I think) was Robb.
One thing I learnt at the Tavern is that being a good beer drinker does not necessarily mean you are good beer pourer. Because there was absolutely no questions as to who was the WORST beer pourer in the Tavern that night.
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Yes mom, it was me.
Behold, my beer-pouring masterpiece.
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EPIC FAIL. It was not just two fingers tall. It’s the whole freaking hand and a HALF.
Confirm lah I cannot make it as a bartender. 🙁
I don’t know what the heck I did wrong. Why can’t I pour a beer with a good head?
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And how on earth I could possibly lose to all the girls and a gay dude in Heineken pouring contest?
So unfair. It’s like they knew some kinda SECRET to beer-pouring that I don’t. Luckily, it was only much later that I was let in on THE SECRET.

Apparently, the SECRET to giving a good head, is to pull back at the right moment.

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In Japan

O HAI.
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I mean… O HAI YO gozaimas ta.
Gonna be slow updating in the next few days as I’m on a company trip in Tokyo for a week. Getting extremely lost in translation here because the way they do things are so different from anywhere else in the world.
Will update more regularly when I get the opportunity to do so.
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Gomenasai.

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The ‘Jai Ho’ Dance

First of all, watch this video.

It is the end sequence from the movie Slumdog Millionaire.

If you haven’t watched this movie yet, you must absolutely go and do so because it didn’t win Oscar for Best Picture for nothing. The ending credits of the movie is a stereotypical Bollywood dance to a Hindi song called ‘Jai Ho’,  which has unexpectedly become so popular even The Pussycat Dolls are doing a cover version for it.

And then of course, there’s the numerous imitations on the Internet.

I don’t get Bollywood dances.

They said doing the Bollywood dance is like one hand screwing the light bulb, another hand patting the dog. But watching the video, I think it’s more like trying to learn HOW TO WASH WINDOWS.

Seriously.

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Nazri Womanizer Photos Leaked Online

Damn! The Gutter Post was shut down by Google again! Google is a tool of fascist Malaysians! This must be the work of the corrupt Malaysian government especially that Nazri fella. Google is secretly controlled by phony Malaysian politicians who do not want pictures of their sons partying to get out! Don’t they know this is the one of most read blog sites by Malaysians? Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla insert some wild accusations about some Malaysian politicians which nobody reads because people only come here to see racy photos. The Gutter Post is not even a Malaysian! I am a American citizen censored by Google because they are puppets controlled by the Malaysian government! Use these pictures to create a Nazri womanizer music video now!

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Bla bla bla insert stuff copied from Wikipedia to fill up the rest of this entry.

 

Nudity and Betrayal in Singapore Reveal Nude Photos By Model ‘Kenzene’

Kenna Chan a.k.a. Kenzene is a 24-year-old Singaporean amateur model living in both Berkeley, California, U.S. and Singapore. She is a model based in San Francisco/Bay Area, but she travels to Singapore once or twice a year. These pictures are sent into The Gutter Post and then bla bla bla insert some other information nobody reads because people come here to see nude pictures only. Enjoy these nude photos of Kenzene courtesy of The Gutter Post!

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Bla bla bla bla bla insert some random stuff copied from Wikipedia here.

 

Scandalous Photos Of Naked Exhibitionist Malaysian Girl “U Tan” Frolicking Around In A Park

 

Singapore has “Sun Tan” but Malaysia has “U Tan”. "Sun Tan" is a Singaporean woman who enjoys posting nude photos of herself. “U Tan” is a Malaysian woman who enjoys walking around the park naked for everyone to see. I am now asking myself if this is a joke or something. She is probably the first Malaysian exhibitionist girl and she does everything on camera. Posing nude outside in open public areas like it’s natural for her. She shares everything and does not even attempt to cover up herself. This girl is well-known in the Malaysian exhibitionist circles so there must be more naked photos of her out there. You can see her boyfriend in these photos too. I wonder what he thinks about his girlfriend “U Tan” parading around like that.

Here are photos of the biggest slut in Malaysia “U Tan” frolicking around in a park completely buck naked.

 

 

 

 

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Insert random bla bla blas copied from Wikipedia to finish off this entry.

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