Fight Club At Orchard Underpass

It was by all signs an ordinary Saturday night at the Orchard Road underpass.

Throngs of everyday people were minding their own business walking through the underground walkway situated between Wisma Atria and CK Tang’s. On the walls, the rolling posters burr noisily when they change. A middle-aged busker on keyboards, a seemingly permanent fixture of the Orchard Road underpass, was singing Christmas Carol’s in his signature monotonous tone.
I missed what exactly happened, but it was the resulting commotion caught my attention.

“Call the police! CALL THE POLICE! CALL!!!” yelled the man on the left.
I stopped my footsteps immediately. My face turned ghost white.
What did I do wrong? Was it the pirated DVDs I brought in from Johor? Could it be the packet of chewing gums I had in my pocket? Maybe he reads my blog and didn’t like me putting up pictures of durian terrorists shouting God’s name in vain.
I looked over to his direction.

The man was yelling at this blind visually-impaired woman (must be politically-correct in my blog nowsaday, y’know? Don’t want some visually-impaired people to “read” my blog and think that I have something against blind people. I believe it was a great poet from ancient China who once said ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. Or was that a quote from Spiderman 1?)
The woman must be peeing in her pants because the man was shouting at a volume 100 decibels above the human hearing threshold, and this was in an underpass so you can imagine how loud he was. All this while she was mumbling nervously and pointing her walking stick towards the man’s face, though I doubt it’s gonna help much since, like, she cannot see?

By then, a large crowd has already gathered around the two. Even the uncle playing on keyboard grew sick of the confrontation and said “Oi. You two want to fight go home and fight lah. Don’t come here and fight, make everybody unhappy.”
And with that, he nonchalantly sang Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, much to my amusement.

At one point, the woman kicked the man’s guitar till it fell on the ground. To his credit, the man didn’t do anything back against the woman. He just talked, thus proving correct the theory that all men are “No Action, Talk Only”.
Before I knew it, a plain-clothed detective showed up and separated the two.

With no free show left to watch, the crowd slowly dispersed. I too, quietly slipped a note into the busker’s donation box before disappearing together with the crowd. Don’t wanna get caught red-handed with chewing gums in my pocket, ya know?
Download Fight Club at Orchard Underpass Video. (MOV, 3.2MB, 14s)

The Malaysian blogosphere is so depressing right now. If people continue on fighting like this, the next PPS Bash would have to be held inside a wrestling ring.

41 Replies to “Fight Club At Orchard Underpass”

  1. OMG Kenny, that post was highly entertaining. I never knew such drama went on in Kuching (if that’s where this place is).
    Madness… I guess these kind of things go on everywhere around the world.
    I found the video funny with the guy playing his music while the two argued. Hahaha, although I feel guilty laughing because perhaps the two are arguing about a very serious matter.

  2. Kenny!
    We were in the toilet at Wala Wala and u asked how come i dun comment on ur blog rite… so here’s my first comment!
    Coincidentally, I had an encounter with a visually-impaired (thanks for reminding us to be politically correct!) man just now. He was standing ON THE ROAD waiting to sell his tissues at 11pm. All the cars had to avoid that lane lor. I went up to him and said ” Uncle, u’re standing on the road… can move up to the pavement?”
    Guess what’s his reply?
    Dun wanna buy tissue, dun talk to me.

  3. Kenny, just wanna ask your opinion about all these catfights that had been happening.
    I guess it’s kinda entertaining in some ways.
    What say you?

  4. Ermm…”never knew such drama went on in Kuching”
    This place is Singapore…
    Anyway, how come I dun see this when I’m like 360 days in Singapore har?

  5. no need to overdramatise things, kenny. not “everyone” is fighting. if you and others havent given this so much publicity, trust me it’ll be over in what…1/2 hour? cheers

  6. I cant get into minishorts – wonder if those two are still fighting.
    Kenny, dont get stuck in the middle. It will only harm you. Dont take sides either.

  7. Oh dear. I lived in singapore for 5 years and never came across anything as exciting as this.
    BTW your Durian Terrorism could really really work I think!

  8. eh. how come i dont get to see such ‘fights’? been walking past orchard for 21 years of my life and it all seems peaceful. and you get to see it all.

  9. Aiya… they just acting some public drama lah. It’s a new thing happening 1st time in Singapore. Like that, it will caught people’s attention. See, they got ya 2 donate a note! ;@

  10. Things that have been said about Kenny Sia in the past week or so:
    “Why Kenny no sound arr?
    Sure he hear about this already right?
    He chicken or what now?
    Eh and why you call Kenny sia short ass chinese bastard cannot be trusted?”
    -Some weird person commenting on my blog post titled “Am I right, Am I right, Am I right?!? ;)”.
    “I am damn TL man , I tell you. I lost AUD 5 bucks. FIVE bloody bucks to this homeless aunty
    because I put my faith in Kenny. I trusted him to have the coconuts like he says he does all the time to call Andrea Fonseka in Singapore. But you know what; he said he does not want to seem like a stalker. WHATEVER! End of day I still lost my money!”
    -Cynthia Foo on her post titled “Short arse chinese bastard cannot be trusted”
    This comment has got NOTHING to do with the current post… but since it will be read by all you Kenny fans :P… I thought I’d enlightened you about Kennys bals… err coconuts… err whatever it is he calls them…
    After his comments on Andrea Fonseka (see his “foot in mouth” post..)
    “Kenny : Look, I’m pretty sure she’s a nice person, smart and all that. But looks-wise, I don’t think she’s ready for it. First and foremost, she looks horrible in a swimsuit. She looks as good as I do in a bikini!”
    I doubted he would have the balls to respond to my dare(in his comment section) when I found out he was in Singapore “Singapore to do list” post.
    Remember THE ‘foot in mouth’ incident Kenny? 😉
    I have a proposition for ya…
    Go and meet up with Andrea Fonseka…….”
    I made a bet with Cynthia he wouldnt meet Andrea fonseka…
    And it TURNS outtt…..
    Kenny does have coconuts…. big ones tooo!! 😛
    lost money to Cynthia now…

  11. Ha, Good one, I’ve been here for 5 yrs and ALWAYS see this kind of fighting. Actually Sporeans fav phase “I’ll call the police” is always used.
    I’ve personally seen fights between Sporeans too often. Just last week, a touch of someone’s bag in the bus has caused a big fight between a man and a young lady.
    Sporeans love to complain about everything, and the police is their BEST friend…. the problem with the police here is that they’ll drop by to investigate….unlike in Msia…they said “Ini tidak apa, tak payah report” 😛

  12. Aren’t you supposed to be staying in Sarawak? Why are you always hanging around Orchard Road? Is Al Qaeda paying you to look for a good bomb site?

  13. Ghosts at The Sarawak Club
    The new building at The Sarawak Club is very scaring and frightening. One afternoon my younger daughter and I went for a swim. At that moment, there was absolutely no body in the lady changing room. Upon our changing, suddenly my whole body feels very cool……..and heard ghost crying voice………whooooo then my daughter screamed and whole body was shivering. Her face turned to pale white and the eyes balls getting bigger. We saw black shadows and white shadows moving along the walls directly in front of us which had a dirty green appearance. The black light flashed directly behind our bodies and lit up our small band Ghosthunters. A person’s shape cannot be viewed in the exit of the toilet room from where we were changing. This was an unusual sighting indeed. The place was unnerving and overly spooky. Immediately, we packed and left the club. .My pity daughter been sick for 1 week with less food and hardly speaking
    At one occasion night when it’s dark and late at night, all the Ghosts sightings and other strange paranormal encounters that people have had whilst visiting. Last week there was a male member die instantly while sporting. After the incident had happened there were less members went to the club in the night time. Who will be the next member at The Sarawak Club ???????????? The answer will come.
    Believed it or not the TAN KEE said the building was burned down for quite sometime and turns to haunted area so the ghost’s souls from the back and front cemeteries turned to a ghosts meeting point. Before the building project construction works must give prayer to the Christian – ghosts and food or hell money to the Chinese – ghosts from Civic Centre where are their terribly ghosts home otherwise the attraction that grows between them can only bring more danger. Compelled to choose between tradition and the truths buried in their hearts, they will discover the real cost of the only things worth having in life.
    You probably think I”ve lost my mind – and maybe I have – but just visit this shocked and terrified GHOST CLUB.

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