Singapore Nightlife

I totally dig Singapore’s nightlife.

Sure, compared to back home, alcohol in SG may cost twice as much and the midnight charges for taxis are horrendous. In the end, it’s the crowd and company that make a great night out. The Singaporeans I met sure know how to partayyyy.
Zouk’s Mambo Night

Wednesday nights in Singapore are special.
It is when all the Uni and College babes come out and play, and old farts like me play with ourselves watch them play. Their playground is Zouk’s Mambo Jambo Night.

I have no idea why Mambo Nights are so popular. Since when did 18, 19 year olds start dancing to 70s and 80s retro music? I’d have thought people of their age would be going Zouk to listen to tetno music.

This is my date for the night, Linda Chia.
I’m a bad date though. I made her wait outside Zouk for an hour while I record “Zhng My Car” with Brown and Miyagi. Sorry Linda!

While we’re outside, we spotted this someone who probably just came out of torturing little animals inside a handicapped toilet while chanting anti-KL slogans. 😉

Mambo Nights aren’t just fun, they’re funny as.
One thing I noticed was that when it comes to doing the Para Para hand movements, the guys are actually better than the girls! I asked a girl where she learnt her hand movements from, and she said “Neh! From those guys there on the podium!”
Its amazing. These are guys that dressed and looked like your average handphone shop Ah Bengs. When they stepped up onto the podiums they become gods. And the hundreds of revellers worship the podiums they stood on.
Linda and I tried doing the Para Para hand movements, but we ended up looking like a deaf and a mute talking to each other.

Out of no where, this 40+ year old uncle wearing leather pants, jacket and sunglasses climbed onto the podium and started “dancing”. By “dancing” I mean squatting, pointing and turning his head slowly.
At first I thought he’s Zouk’s head of security trying to catch people snapping photos in the club (like me). But when I saw the whole club literally stopped to watch and cheer him on, I knew he must be someything. It’s unbelievable, bunch of 19 year old kids cheering on a high school principal lookalike.

We left around 2:30am that night for some Fish Meehoon Soup at River Valley. Linda still looking hot as ever. I didn’t sleep the night before, which is why I looked like a male version of Furong Jiejie.

Andrea Fonseka at Attica

There’s something I don’t like about Attica. It’s evil. The air of pretentiousness is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
This is probably the only club in Singapore where 90% of the males are expats, and 90% of the females are trying to get in their pants their attention. It is a very discomforting sight.

I’m not saying all girls who go to Attica are bad. There’s a line between looking sexy and slutty, and the lengths some of the girls go to left me dumbfounded. Like that Thai girl who had a dollar note stuffed inside her cleavage by this Italian guy.
I don’t know aye, I reckon she’s trying a little too hard perhaps? I prefer the Zouk crowd anytime.
Anyway, the reason I was there was because after that Foot in Mouth incident, Lena wanted me to judge Andrea Fonseka for myself, to see if I might change my opinion about her.

Nabeh. It’s supposed to be MY ARMS around the girl’s shoulder, not the other way round!

What can I say? I guess the TV does add extra pounds on her.
This former Miss Malaysia is bloody tall. Andrea Fonseka looks statuesque in her cheongsam and she effortlessly exudes this aura of confidence and exquisiteness that make people weak in the knees. It’s a little intimidating , especially when you witness the power she wields.
Andrea not only managed to get me into Attica without paying cover, she got me through to the members-only Attica Too and even into this atas private lounge where a birthday party was taking place. They must really love her there I guess.

Even with her apparent elitism, Andrea has no problems showing her quirky crazy side. This is one fun-loving, and her group of friends she introduced to me that night was class act. Thanks for being a great host, Andrea! 🙂
Lena was right, Andrea Fonseka isn’t as bad as the angry mob made her out to be. That said, I still cannot comment on how she looks like in a bikini though, so we might have to arrange for a private show next time.

UnXpected Live at Wala Wala

Wala Wala is this fun pub in Holland Village popular for their live bands.
I wanted to watch The UnXpected perform, partially because I’ve heard so much about them, but mainly because I know girls who lust NOT for their drummer Brandon, but for their lead singer Shirlyn.
Yes Shirlyn, as if us men don’t have enough competition already.

One song from them, and I knew the reason why Wala Wala was so crowded on weekends that authorities had to step in to prevent overcrowding.
The band rocks and Shirlyn is hot. Her voice is a cross between Jewel and Sheryl Crow and Shakira, and it really works well with the contemporary rock songs the UnXpected is famous for.

My camera flash fired so much that night, Shirlyn forgot her lyrics and Brandon dropped his sticks. I should’ve known. The UnXpected are ROBOTS!
Check out the video clips from the night. You’ll need to install DivX to watch the downloaded clips.

There’s more of their music here.

I seem to get myself into trouble everytime I step foot into Singapore, and my last trip was no different. The Cowboy Barflies I hung out with were a happening bunch, but something happened that made the night more memorable than SPG’s set of tits.

I’m not allowed to say who. Let’s just say someone had too much alcohol, and decided to give me a souvenir in the form of the Scarlett Ting Strawberry Milkshake Treatment. Only difference is, I didn’t get the luxury of strawberry milkshake, just a cold carton Marigold UHT milk.
I laughed out loud when Shirlyn described him as the Incredible Hulk ‘cos I can certainly see the uncanny resemblence.
So here’s what happened.

Yeah. I dig Singapore’s nightlife… sometimes.

Departing for KL this afternoon, arriving at 7pm.
Things I plan to do while I’m in KL:
Friday: Go Zouk
Saturday: Go Zouk
Sunday: Loiter outside Zouk
Monday: Work. 🙁

56 Replies to “Singapore Nightlife”

  1. 1. I want to Para-para also.
    2. Why are all your dates so hot. Grr.
    3. Andrea is a junior from MY high school. Bwahaha.
    4. I live in PJ. Ahem. NO excuse for NOT calling me out to go clubbing this weekend.

  2. that zouk uncle is famous! the necessary stage (singapore theatre group) even did a skit of him in one of their shows. and he’s been featured in the papers too! although i’m not sure that the one u snapped is the same guy..

  3. Kenny you die liao, Sandra is coming to hunt you down for that picture you put up of her. ROTFL!
    Now you REALLY are in trouble.

  4. Wow. seems like you really partied hard in Sg. You still keep in touch with Lena? I haven’t seen her for ages!
    And Lena, if you do happen to read this, this is a shout-out for ya! *waves frantically*
    Sorry Kenny, I’m kinda borrowing ur space huh? Dont get offended. I do enjoy your posts! 🙂

  5. Hey Kenny!!!
    Is that really Andrea Fonseka or sth?…haha i dunno what she really looks like cos i didn’t watch Miss Malaysia,…got such thing arr…hahaha anyways is it the same girl in the bikini the last time u posted?…It looks like 2 different ppl leh… hahahaha

  6. hey i thought andrea fonseka got a “fat tummy”… well it was heavily publicised in lowyat forum last year… anyway she looks hot in those pics above

  7. Hey Kenny you lost some weight?
    Your old work buddies here are expecting you to Fed-Ex them a cake for mornining coffee time soon as your birthday is coming up.
    Otherwise Dave says we should send you an invoice for one that we will buy on your behalf!

  8. Wah the doctor got surgeon gloves!!! HAhahahaHAhahahHAha!!! Michael Jackson impersonator! haha 🙂 Did he moonwalk?

  9. Hmm.. Fonseka doesn’t look as fat here this time.. but its hard to tell from these pictures…
    but if she was goign to lose weight.. why didn’t she lose weight before going for the pageant..

  10. uh-oh. you sure die liao by putting up Sandra’s photo.
    oh and by the way, the song by UnXpected is called ‘Window’ and NOT ‘Shining like a Star’ lah.

  11. hi kenny!! you made me miss zouk so so so much!! really enjoy reading your blog. your sense of humour never fails to cheer me up.
    P/S: You look really cute when you smile. =)

  12. My dearest date,
    First, you came one hour late for our date.
    Then, you put up a picture of my face white-washed by the blinding flash (ugly!) for the world to recoil in horror at.
    And then, you put up a another picture of me with messed up hair (ugly!).
    As if that is not enough damage, thereafter, a picture of Shirlyn with make-up that looks like highlighters were used in place of cosmetics (ugly effect of too close/bright a flash) was released for public viewing.
    And finally, sandra looking like that.
    Pray tell, why the vendetta against women? Are you a woman-hater in clever disguise?
    p.s : I’m sorry to have accidentally crush one of the two biggest coconuts this side of the equator.
    Lovingly yours,
    Linda Chia

  13. kenny, why “your average handphone shop ah bengs”? does it make u feel good talking like that? “SO” sweet of u making joke like this 🙂

  14. Hey KS, I adore those clubbing pics of yours. Sure a ladies man aren’t you? OMG, actually, you look hawt too!!Err, that’s pretty much I would say just in case i am some sort of PIAN TAI (pervy blogger). Ciao!-greets from oz

  15. In response to my dare to him on his post:
    “Singapore to do List”
    Kenny took a few days to respond to it lar, but in the nick of time he managed to see Andrea Fonseka the night before leaving Singapore.
    Some doubted the quality of his “coconuts”- (me included ;))
    Things that have been said by me and others about him and this whole dare thing, when it looked like he wouldnt go through with it were posted on my site titled:
    “Short Arse Chinese Bastard…”
    “Am I right, Am I right, Am I right?!? ;)”
    AND THEN… Kenny followed through… and I posted:-
    “Kenny SIA and his stellar QUALITY COCONUTS!!!!”
    -on my site….
    Well… I lost the bet….
    KENNY wrote as above :”Lena was right, Andrea Fonseka isn’t as bad as the angry mob made her out to be. ”
    and… I can say now….
    I AM right, I AM right, I AM right 😉

  16. Oh yeah and I forgot to say… Thanks Kenny, for FINAAALLY admitting that the alll supreme Ninja-L- was right.. eh hehe hehe…. 😉

  17. MEI:
    Yeah I grace Kenny’s blog with my divine presence every now and again…
    Havent seen you in ages as well…
    Gimme a msg lar..
    Hey….youre on my Friendster list right???
    (WHat the heck man Kenny, ppl using your site to post msgs / shout outs to each other now…) ;);)

  18. please lah, that “fonseka” can go smell xiaxue’s fart lah………a beauty queen is suppose to be someone pure breed not half half mix…but this is malaysia what u expect rite

  19. That ‘uncle’ in Zouk, the last I saw him, he had more black hair. That was 11 years ago before Zouk was raided for drugs! Yeah a long long time ago.
    I have not been to Zouk or clubbing for 6 years or so now. So Sick of night life.
    But WOW! 11 years later and he’s still so into this ‘Animal Farm’ (my nick name for Zouk back in those days)!
    He’s definitely not 40+ that’s for sure!

  20. Lets have some more of those nightlife postings. I agree that Attica is pretensious as hell, I don’t like that place. Zouk I like very much. The ‘uncle’ has been around for ages, that’s why he gets to dance on the platform, though I must admit that I don’t understand why, he cannot dance at all and even michael jackson has put away the single white glove.
    When you go to zouk next time you should look for Eric. You might find him a bit weird to begin with (he is very gay and wear strange clothes), but he is good fun to be around.

  21. Wow, in this one, Andrea looks smashing and Kenny, well, you look like you just had your Coconuts smashed. Good thing justice is blind.
    P.S.: At least you Got Milk.

  22. I am suprised at how I have become intrigued at a narsistic form of expression…the black and white portrait of Kenny – nuff said!
    I am worried that I may actually (if I ever start working normal hours) start a blog of my own. Not because I love the way I write or think the photos I take are pretty… but because I think there may be a possibility that writing my own blog may give me as much (if not more) entertainment than reading yours.
    Keep it up…and happy belated birthday!

  23. To Ninja-L, the one without the link.
    What freaking planet are you on, referring to people as pure breed/half mix? Can’t believe there are still people who use these terms.
    Too many ‘cousins’ in your gene pool eh?

  24. hey, KL’s Atmos also has an ‘uncle’ who did his “dancing” squatting, pointing and turning his head slowly. Only thing is he’s even older than the Zouk Singapore unkle!
    This guy looks like he’s almost 80, and still trying to do the shuffle! Looking at him, I feel pain for his sore back and arthritic bones already!:P

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