Category: Parody

Welcome to Sarawak Elections

This may be the most important election in Sarawak history.

I can’t be in Kuching to vote due to earlier plans, but I want to play my part in this. I guess the best thing I can do is to keep everyone up to speed on what’s been happening.

And the best way to do it?

Like Rosalinda would – through music video.

Lee Chong Wei

The biggest news last Sunday was obviously our very own Datuk Lee Chong Wei defeating his arch-nemesis Lin Dan to be come the All-England badminton champion.

One man is absolutely over the moon over Datuk Lee Chong Wei’s win, and that man is none other than our beloved Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak.

The PM called Chong Wei before his match, called Chong Wei after his match and stayed up all night just to watch his match.

I dunno, but that kinda enthusiasm is inching dannngerously in on man-crush territory.

Sadly, the PM stopped short on making a decision that would make me give him my vote next Elections. 🙁

He did promise that he would give Chong Wei something though.

Many have wondered what exactly the government will give Chong Wei. After all, our badminton champion already have a ‘Datuk’ title, a RM300K cash prize from his Olympic win and a RM3,000  monthly pension for the rest of his life.

He got the title, he got the money, I mean… what else could he possibly need right?




Until I saw this.

All of the sudden, the Prime Minister refers to Chong Wei as THE Chong Wei.

The Chong Wei. The Chong Wei.

‘The’, as in, The Rock.



Why settle for ‘Datuk’ when you can be called The Chong Wei?

Paul The Octopus

The biggest thing coming out from World Cup this year wasn’t the fact that it’s been the year of the underdogs.

The biggest thing coming out from World Cup this year was the fact that an eight-legged creature had correctly predicted every single German match since the start of the tournament. Every single day for the past one week, members of my fitness centre were talking about how amazing this “jiu hu” is.

Paul the Octopus was so accurate in its prediction that it even successfully predicted German’s loss to underdog Serbia, and Spain, and impossible win over Argentina.

Apparently, this wasn’t the first time he was noticed.

Back when not many people knew about him, Paul The Octopus correctly predicted 80% of the matches during the 2008 Euro Cup Finals.

Before this, Paul The Octopus had also made some lesser-known predictions.

Did you know Paul The Octopus correctly predicted that Brazil would host the World Cup in 2014?

He also predicted yesterday’s 4D results.


And in 2008, he predicted that Barison Nasional would triumph over Pakatan Rakyat in the Elections.







And that Najib would eventually become our new Prime Minister.

What a smart octopus.

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Michael Learns To Rock Concert CANCELLED

SHAH ALAM: Authorities have confirmed today that the Michael Learns To Rock concert originally scheduled for next month has been cancelled due to ongoing protests from PAS Youth leaders.

Michael Learns to Rock

PAS Youth has insisted that it is disrespectful for the sentimental rock band to hold a concert during the holy month. They were never taken seriously.

But due to the events of recent days, it is understood that authorities have decided to play it safe and bow down to the youth group’s demand. It is believed that this is to prevent anyone else from chopping off the heads of people named ‘Michael’ then carrying it around as a form of protest.


“With this decision today, we wish to assure all Michaels in Malaysia that it is finally safe to come out to play.” informed Information Minister/Hip Hop Star, Rais Rais Yatim.

However, it is understood that those who had already purchased tickets to the concert will not be refunded. Instead, ticketholders will be treated to a similar, but more sensitive local rock band, called PAS Youth Learns To Talk.

Michael Learns to Rock-2

According to PAS Youth Learns To Talk lead singer Michael Ahmad, the group will be opening the concert with their hit single, That’s Why (We Make) You Go Away, followed by their number one hit in Shah Alam Top 40 Charts last week, Twenty-Five Protests Too Late.

When asked if the group is trying to rip off songs from Michael Learns To Rock, guitarist Michael Yusuf clarified, “No lah. All we’re trying to do here is make the song more acceptable. Why listen to songs like Take Me To Your Heart lah? So emo! We wanna make our concert more happy! More spiritually positive! That’s why we wrote our number one hit song, Take Me To The Ramadhan Buffet.


The press conference ended with a gotong-royong and a live performance of their hit song, Paint My Mosque.

(Just kidding. The concert is not cancelled. And PAS Youth is just a lobby group, not a religion.)

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ADV: Heinechicken

By now, everyone must’ve seen the Heineken Walk-In Fridge ad that’s been playing everywhere.

Whether you’re a guy or girl watching this, you gotta admit that it’s definitely one of the funnier and most successful TV ads ever created.

But guess what I found out?

Apparently, it wasn’t the first Heineken ad that poked fun at the social differences between guys and girls.

Heineken beer existed since 1873, which was way before refrigerators was even invented. And I found out that in one of its earliest ads, the beer also joked about the differences between guys and girls, albeit in a slightly different way…

Ya, dunno why that guy in the 1873 ad looked familiar.

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ADV: My Second TV Commercial

Last year, I had the opportunity to act in a TV commercial for Mister Potato.


Considering I have absolutely no acting skills whatsoever, I thought that experience was just a one-off thing. Surprisingly, last week I found out I just got myself another TV commercial opportunity.

This time round however, I don’t have a world-class TV production team from Bangkok working around me anymore. We all gotta save money a bit this financial crisis, so for this TV commercial, had to shoot and direct it my own as part of Corntoz: Make Your Own TVC Contest.


Yes, it is a contest. Which unfortunately, I am not eligible to join.

Because this entry is sponsored by Corntoz, and my job is to encourage you to exercise your freedom of expression by making your own TV commercial. The top prize is RM8,000 in cash, so please, do it on my behalf.


All you gotta do is film yourself snacking on Corntoz, using either your webcam at (easier) or by directly uploading your video onto Youtube.

As long as a pack of Corntoz is involved, you are free to do anyhow you want with it. Gorge it like Faizal Tahir or sandwich it like Jaclyn Victor.

Maybe even errr… suck it.

Like how this HOT babe made me wish I were that piece of Corntoz.

It’s a real bummer I couldn’t join the contest though.

Because if I could, then this ad that I shot in Britain would have been what I send in.

And I’m very sure I would have won.

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The ‘Jai Ho’ Dance

First of all, watch this video.

It is the end sequence from the movie Slumdog Millionaire.

If you haven’t watched this movie yet, you must absolutely go and do so because it didn’t win Oscar for Best Picture for nothing. The ending credits of the movie is a stereotypical Bollywood dance to a Hindi song called ‘Jai Ho’,  which has unexpectedly become so popular even The Pussycat Dolls are doing a cover version for it.

And then of course, there’s the numerous imitations on the Internet.

I don’t get Bollywood dances.

They said doing the Bollywood dance is like one hand screwing the light bulb, another hand patting the dog. But watching the video, I think it’s more like trying to learn HOW TO WASH WINDOWS.


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Nazri Womanizer Photos Leaked Online

Damn! The Gutter Post was shut down by Google again! Google is a tool of fascist Malaysians! This must be the work of the corrupt Malaysian government especially that Nazri fella. Google is secretly controlled by phony Malaysian politicians who do not want pictures of their sons partying to get out! Don’t they know this is the one of most read blog sites by Malaysians? Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla insert some wild accusations about some Malaysian politicians which nobody reads because people only come here to see racy photos. The Gutter Post is not even a Malaysian! I am a American citizen censored by Google because they are puppets controlled by the Malaysian government! Use these pictures to create a Nazri womanizer music video now!







Bla bla bla insert stuff copied from Wikipedia to fill up the rest of this entry.


Nudity and Betrayal in Singapore Reveal Nude Photos By Model ‘Kenzene’

Kenna Chan a.k.a. Kenzene is a 24-year-old Singaporean amateur model living in both Berkeley, California, U.S. and Singapore. She is a model based in San Francisco/Bay Area, but she travels to Singapore once or twice a year. These pictures are sent into The Gutter Post and then bla bla bla insert some other information nobody reads because people come here to see nude pictures only. Enjoy these nude photos of Kenzene courtesy of The Gutter Post!












Bla bla bla bla bla insert some random stuff copied from Wikipedia here.


Scandalous Photos Of Naked Exhibitionist Malaysian Girl “U Tan” Frolicking Around In A Park


Singapore has “Sun Tan” but Malaysia has “U Tan”. "Sun Tan" is a Singaporean woman who enjoys posting nude photos of herself. “U Tan” is a Malaysian woman who enjoys walking around the park naked for everyone to see. I am now asking myself if this is a joke or something. She is probably the first Malaysian exhibitionist girl and she does everything on camera. Posing nude outside in open public areas like it’s natural for her. She shares everything and does not even attempt to cover up herself. This girl is well-known in the Malaysian exhibitionist circles so there must be more naked photos of her out there. You can see her boyfriend in these photos too. I wonder what he thinks about his girlfriend “U Tan” parading around like that.

Here are photos of the biggest slut in Malaysia “U Tan” frolicking around in a park completely buck naked.













Insert random bla bla blas copied from Wikipedia to finish off this entry.

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Ladies and gentlemen!
20090110-6.jpg hereby express its disgust towards the United States of America for their support of Israel’s invasion into Gaza! The Middle East may be located far away from us, but that does not mean there is nothing we could do!
We urge all readers to heed the call by Dr Mahathir and the two MCAs (both the Malaysian Chinese Association and the Muslim Consumer Assocation) to show our support for the Palestinians by doing your part as follows!
Stop using the US dollar!
Using the US dollar will only keep their economy strong. If the Americans are rich, they will for the Zionist invaders to kill Palestinian babies!
We must also boycott all American companies and American products!
Boycott Coca-Cola!
You won’t die if you don’t drink Coca-Cola!
But if you drink Coca-Cola, Palestinians die!
Boycott KFC, McDonald’s, Starbucks!
Colonel Sanders trained the Israeli armies! And Ronald McDonald is Jewish! I think.
Boycott Hollywood!
Next time you go to the cinema, don’t watch American movies like Twilight, Yes Man and The Spirit!
Watch Cicak-man 2: Planet Hitam!
Boycott Pinkpau, Suet Li and Dawn Yang!
All three of them are students studying overseas in American universities! Therefore these three are contributing money directly into the pockets of Americans! Money that are used to buy guns and bombs to kill Palestinian babies! Pinkpau, Suet Li and Dawn Yang are indirectly Zionist supporters and Palestinian haters!
Boycott Xiaxue too! Her boyfriend is American.
Don’t boycott! This blog may be hosted by a US server, but I tried to pay them in Malaysian Ringgit and they won’t accept it!
Boycott Google, Youtube and Facebook!
Do you know? Every time you are poking someone on Facebook, you are indirectly poking a knife into the hearts of the Palestinians!
Boycott Microsoft and Apple!
Need I say more? If you are using Windows, shut it down NOW!
Oh shit, that means I h

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