Undergrad Wore Rude T-shirt On Newspaper, Becomes Famous.

Took out Sunday’s paper, saw this.

On first glance, it appears just like a regular national paper’s education insert with a cover story about a bunch of Malaysian undergrads in the USA who took time out from their studies to travel across the country.
Upon closer inspection, I noticed something a little peculiar.

Noticed anything out of place?
Here, lemme zoom in a little closer.

What the heck is a McSHIT!
Is it when you go McDonald’s and eat too much Big Mac, then have to go toilet to make McSHIT!?


More importantly, how did something like “McSHIT” made its way onto our national newspaper. ON THE COVER OF THE EDUCATION INSERT SOME MORE!
Someone’s gonna get into trouble at The Star‘s offices today. Are they nuts? You’d think The Star would’ve realised their mistake when they put McShit on the cover of their Education insert. But nooooooo…
Flip open the center page, and you’re greeted with this.


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Senso @ Hilton

I’m seldom online because once in a while my day job (yes, I do have one) catches up on me.

These days I’m spending longer hours in the office and shorter hours lying on my bed sleeping. In between earning my dough, staying healthy, having a social life and maintaining this blog, I don’t have a lot of spare time to do some of the stuff I enjoy doing, like chatting on msn or watching the latest movies in the cinemas.

Hilton Hotel is becoming like my second home. Not because I stay there (I wish), but without fail, every single day after work I’d drop by the fitness centre for an hour or so, either to lift weights or to use the pathetically small swimming pool they have on their first floor.

Sometimes at night, I enjoy coming here to chill out.
I like the hot chocolate they serve at Cafe Cinno.

Without a doubt, they make the best hot chocolate in the whole of Kuching.
Unlike the conventional they served elsewhere that are probably made with chocolate powder, the hot chocolate at Cafe Cinno comes in a mug of hot milk and a glass filled with rolls of chocolate. Actual hard chocolate rolls.

You’re supposed to chuck those chocolate rolls into the hot milk and give it a good stir. I find that doing it this way makes the beverage smoother, creamier and more satisfying. At RM8 a mug, it’s not all that expensive compared to Bing or Coffee Bean either.
If you pass by Hilton these few days, you’d noticed that they’ve been promoting this trio of singers called ‘Reflections’ like crazy.

Yea I thought the girl on the right look pretty easy on the eye too. 😛
In fact, she looks even more yummilicious in person.

The girl is Relene. She looks Japanese but she’s actually Filipino.
Relene sings alongside her mother Arlene and a pianist from Thailand called Dio at Senso everynight except Mondays. The trio was performing in places like Tokyo and Bangkok before they decided to make Kuching their next stop.

I was there last Friday and Senso was packed to the max.
Reflections performs mostly covers from the classic 80s, but every now and then they throw in a bit of modern pop tunes to hype up the crowd.

How well can a Filipino sing? Not bad in fact. That’s why you see so many of them on American Idol.
Strange thing with these performers is that when they talk, they talk with a heavy Thai/Filipino accent, but when they start singing their accent automagically disappeared.

Hey, at least it’s great that Senso is doing something different from the rest of the bars and pubs in town.
Sure, Kuching still seriously pale in comparison to KL and Singapore when it comes to nightlife. Those big cities have got clubs so enormous they could fit the whole Kuching in, and then some.

But hey, at least we’re improving.
If you want R&B, there’s SoHo. If you wanna shuffle, there’s MC3. If you want house music, go Links. Now, if you want good live music, you’ve got Senso.
Someone bring more variety into Kuching nightlife please. Otherwise, it’ll just be Ah Beng tetno music everywhere, and we’re seriously sick of those.

That, dodgy dangdut bars for dirty divorced old men to grope all over scantily-dressed Indonesian women half their age.

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Flood Relief

YC popped me an e-mail message last night.

“Spread the words uncle kenny! LINK
Raising funds for the flood. thanks heaps!! xoxo”

Puzzled, I replied:

Wait… Did you just say you wanna raise funds for the flood? Or did you mean you wanna raise fund for the flood VICTIMS?
I dun wanna raise no muthafrickin’ funds for no muthafrickin’ FLOOD, yo!

She then proceeded to laugh her head off at her obvious error.

Anyway, self-made fashion designer YC is doing something for a good cause. From now until February, she’s auctioning off items from her Blackjettas Jewellery and Drama Mama range to raise funds to aid the recent Johor flood victims. All her clothes and jewellery are handmade by herself and one of her kind, meaning you won’t EVER find another person wearing the same stuff.
You can find out more at her blog or e-mail yc.phoon@gmail.com
The day before I got a phone call from someone unexpected.
Caller: “Hello is this Kenny Sia?”
Kenny: “Yes, this is Kenny speaking.”
Caller: “Kenny, this is JJ and Rudy from the hitz.fm Morning Crew!”
Kenny: “OH MY GAWDDDDDD!!!!”

JJ and Rudy are hosts of the breakfast show on radio station hitz.fm (Malaysia’s No.1 hit station!), which I listen to on my way to work every morning. These two are famous for making hilarious prank GOTCHA calls to terrorise innocent victims who don’t know better. I had wasn’t one of their targets before I realised that they actually called to ask for a favour.
The hitz.fm Morning Crew is organising a charity event, and they wanted me to write something on kennysia.com to help promote it. I agreed, but after putting down the phone I felt a little strange. See, hitz.fm is mass media and kennysia.com is just a blog. How come a mass media is asking a blog to promote their event?! Shouldn’t it be like… the other way round?

Anyway, if you want to help out some 90,000 victims affected by the water devastation in Malaysia’s south, please bring along donations to La Bodega at Bangsar Shopping Centre, Kuala Lumpur this Saturday, 27th January, between 11am to 2pm.
They wanna help the kids more than anything else so they’re looking in particular for school uniforms, school bags, shoes and stationery items, but basic necessities and food items are still welcome.

The hitz.fm crew and local celebs like Pop Shuvit, Liang, Afdlin Shauki (from the movie Sumo-lah) and KinkyBlueFairy will all be there and La Bodega will be providing free refreshments for those who dropped by.

Getting hit by the flood is bad, but getting hit by the flood twice in a month is even more suay. While we’re wondering where to go for a night out drinking, those kids affected by the flood are wondering how they’re gonna even go to school when all their belongings were washed away.
So let’s all have compassion and do something for the less fortunates instead of sitting comfortably on your butt surfing the Net, ok?


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Guys’ Priorities

Friend of mine messaged me on MSN late one night.

Jane* (not her real name): Can I ask you one question?
Kenny: Go ahead.
Jane*: You’re a busy guy right?
Jane*: Let’s say you have a girl, who needs attention, who is away for vacation… Then she is online one day. But you have a friend at your place. What would you do?
Kenny: I would entertain the friend first.
It’s an easy decision. With girlfriends you can always call them later, but a guest at your place needs to be taken care of first instead of leaving them hanging. Right?
Jane*: Yerrrr… then?
Kenny: Then when the friend leaves, I’ll entertain the gf lah.
Jane*: Yerrrrrrrrrr!!! But the gf waited the whole day dy!
Kenny: I ask you lah. When you have a friend coming over to your place, are you gonna chase her out just because you wanna talk to your boy boy? Or maybe turn on Astro and ask the friend to entertain herself?
Jane*: Yea I’ll do that. lol
Jane*: I won’t chase them out but they can take it like their own place. Then I go talk to my boy boy for 10 mins. Instead of just telling her, “I have friends over. Gonna watch Man U. Probably can’t talk to you right now.”

Kenny: My gawd. Guys don’t function that way.
Kenny: If we show our soft sides in front of our guy friends, we’d automatically lose our dicks and become sissies.
Jane*: Testosterones!! Why guys so difficult one. -_-
Jane*: Would you call your friend a sissy if you were the guest and he left you with Astro?
Kenny: Yeah, I would.
Jane*: -_-
Kenny: ‘cos I only disturb him probably once a week. Maybe even once a month. And he wants to use buddy time to chat with his girlfriend? wtf man.
Jane*: It’s guys like that which makes us girls cry because bf doesn’t want to be a sissy =(
Why would any girl wanna date a sissy ANYWAY?

Kenny: Well, we put up with your many things also.
Jane*: hrm… like?
Kenny: Like… tantrums.
Kenny: Like spending money on handbags and shoes.
Kenny: Like being fussy about every single thing.
Jane*: I am only guilty of the last one. =\
Jane*: Maybe i should also be guilty for the first two to get even.

Jane*: Leaving the friend with Astro for 10 mins also cannot. =\
Kenny: Not cannot. ‘cos women’s clock is different.
Kenny: 1 minute is 10 minutes.
Kenny: 10 minutes is 1 hour.
Kenny: 1 hour is half a day.
Jane*: hrm… how long is 10 mins to a guy?
Kenny: Depends on what we’re doing.
Kenny: If we’re having fun, playing games, watching football, 10 minutes feel like 10 seconds.
Kenny: If we’re waiting for food, waiting for TOTO results, waiting for girls to shop, 10 minutes feel like eternity.
Jane*: No wonder last time he was late. HE WAS AT HIS FRIEND’S PLACE PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES!

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The kennysia.com Kuching Food Awards

A lot of tourists come to Kuching City not knowing what to do.

Truth is, there isn’t a lot to do within Kuching City. Most of Sarawak’s natural charms are located outside the city limits, towards the beaches in Damai, the mountains in Santubong, the hot springs at Annas Rais, the caves at Bau, and the jungles at Batang Ai. Not inside Kuching City.
If there’s any reason for the average tourist to stay in Kuching at all, it is for the amazing array of delicious local food. To honour the unsung heroes of the Kuching tourism industry, I think it’s high time to give out awards that the Sarawak Tourism Board had forgotten to give out on their glitzy Awards evening.
It’s time for…

After reading this entry, I bet all those Kuching people living overseas must be desperately trying to book their tickets back home now.

Best Fine-Dining Restaurant

Magenta Restaurant, Jalan Nanas
Lately, there’s been a lot of new fine-dining restaurants popping up all over Kuching. One dish there would cost about RM40. It is so expensive but these places are never empty. Kuching people must be getting richer and richer.
The problem is, most of these restaurants don’t get the concept of fine-dining. It’s either the service is crap, or the food tastes like shit.

Magenta has been around for a long time and I reckon they’re one of the few who got it right. It’s the best place to bring a date out for a romantic dinner. The food here is delicious. What’s more, their dishes are so well-presented they look more like sculptures from an art gallery, than food you can actually eat.

Best Bar

Links, Kuching Civic Center
If you like to be in the company of a rowdy crowd, go to SoHo. But if you enjoy a relaxing and exquisite environment, go to Links. I’m not saying this just because they did a great job hosting my 24th birthday party. But seriously, where else can you find a nice bar playing sweet house music perched on top of a tower overlooking the entire city of Kuching?

Best Place To Have Breakfast

Kaya & Toast. They got two branches. One in 3rd Mile, the other one closer to the city in Wisma Nation Horizon, Jalan Petanak.
Their soft-boiled eggs are the best in town and I simply love their curry rice.

I come here so many times that even the staff recognises me. Not only that, they also developed some sort of psychic powers. I don’t even have to open my mouth and they know what I want to order already.
If they see me walking in sleepily, they’ll know I want my coffee. If they see me walking in with saliva dripping down my mouth, they’ll know I want my curry chicken rice. Damn power.

Best Food Court To Try Almost Everything Under The Sun

Jalan Song Food Court
With three major food courts packed into one area, no wonder is placed is always decked out. They are only open at night and the only way tourists staying in the city can get there is by taxi. Whenever I have friends coming over wanting to try a bit of everything that Kuching has to offer, this is where I bring them to.
Seriously, this place is so freaking huge, it’s like the 1Utama of food courts in Kuching.

Best Roti Canai

J&J Cafeteria, Jalan Setia Raja at Tabuan Laru
Roti Canai isn’t very popular in Kuching, no thanks to the longstanding rumour that Indian roti canai makers who wear big rings on their fingers may have shit stained hands. Most Indians wash their ass with their hands instead of using toilet paper, and you won’t wanna eat the roti canai made with those same hands.

Well, if that rumour is true, then the shit of this roti canai maker must taste really good. Every morning J&J Cafeteria is packed to the max.

Best Teh-C-Special

Fresh Food Court, Lorong Liu Shan Bang 3A, Kota Sentosa (aka 7th Mile)
Sarawak is the only place in Malaysia where you can get the Teh-C-Special, otherwise known as the three-layer Teh-C-Peng. This drink is served with three distinct layers of tea essence, sugar water and ideal milk clearly seperated in the glass. You’re supposed to stir it up before you gulp it down.

The delicious concoction of drink is available in almost every single coffee shop in Kuching, and and it tastes pretty much the same everywhere. If you believe in the doctrine that “Original Is Best”, then go to this shop in the 7th Mile near the wet market.
Just like how Bethlehem is the birthplace of Jesus, Fresh Food Court in 7th Mile is the birthplace of the Teh-C-Special. It’s where the citywide craze all began.

Best Sio Bee

Sin Kwang Heng, Open Air Market
The owner manager of this sio bee stall is a Kuching legend in his own right.
Almost never seen without a cigarette hanging from his mouth, the guy must have violated hygiene laws in at least 70 different countries, including Malaysia’s. But Kuching people very power one. If something is good to eat, we will risk life and death to eat – even if it has cigarette butts in it.

The owner manager of Sin Kwang Heng is also famous for shouting at you when you make your order. Try standing in front of his stall and he’d shout “LU AI HAMIK!?” (WHAT DO YOU WANT) like you had insulted his grandmother. It’s funny, but a bit ridiculous. Wanna buy sio bee also kena shouted at. Like you owe him money like that.

That aside, the sio bee here is a long-time Kuching favourite. They are so good that Sin Kwang Heng have begun mass-producing and supplying them to kopitiams all over Kuching.
The only thing Sin Kwang Heng could possibly do to make it better is if they follow those KL franchise like Strudelz and Baoz, and change their name to Sio Beez.

Best Beef Noodle

Ah Mui, Open Air Market
Another long-time Kuching favourite. With some luck, you might be able to order this dish served with bull’s penis.

I’ve never tried it before myself though. To me, eating a bull’s penis is too much like giving dead animals a blowjob.

Best Tomato Kueh Teow

Hap Hap Hin at Kenyalang Market
You can get Tomato Kueh Teow almost everywhere in Kuching, but only this stall does it to perfection. Come early, because they are so popular, they sometimes sold out before noon time.
This is what Sarawak’s Tomato Kueh Teow looks like.

Other people seems to have a different intepretation of what “Tomato Kueh Teow” means.
Last time I ordered “Tomato Kueh Teow” in Singapore, they gave me a plate of Fried Kueh Teow and a bottle of tomato sauce.

Best Belacan Beehoon

Padungan Belacan Beehoon at Song Kheng Hai Food Court, Jalan Padungan
This is my favourite dish! I always order it with extra cuttlefish and century eggs. This stall at Song Kheng Hai serves pretty mean Sotong Kangkung as well and the drinks stall next to it can make excellent Honey Sea Coconut.
The drinks stall owner next door has a pretty lame sense of humour. If something costs one ringgit, he’d come to you and ask for “one thousand ringgit.”

Belacan Beehoon is one of Sarawak’s most legendary delicacies, although it can’t reach Sarawak Laksa in terms of popularity. Nowadays, it is not so easy to find Belacan Beehoon in Kuching because not a lot of people can stand its pungent smell.
But for people like me who love this dish to death, we won’t find it smelly at all. I had it for lunch with Jojo the other day and she complained about it.
Jojo: “That’s gross. How can anyone stand eating Belacan Beehoon? It’s so smelly!”
Kenny: “I put up with your smoking all the time, and you can’t even put up with me eating Belacan Beehoon?”

Best BBQ Rice

Wan Nurn Barbecue Specialist Duck & Chicken, Jalan Padungan
They are within walking distance from the city centre, located right opposite Memories Cafe.

It takes a lot of balls for someone to call themselves a “specialist”. Luckily, Wan Nurn lives up to its name. I especially like their BBQ pork selection. Served with their sweet homemade BBQ sauce, it is absolutely heavenly. Just remember not to take too much from this BBQ “specialist”, otherwise you might have to make a trip to visit a cancer specialist.

Best Chicken Rice

Good Thumb Food Centre, Jalan Dogan, Batu Kawa
This place used to be called Big Mouth. But then the popular chicken rice stall there had a dispute with the landlord, so they moved next door and call themselves Good Thumb. Why Good Thumb? Because the Big Mouth can suck on the Good Thumb and shut up.
Regardless of what they’re called, the chicken rice there is still hands down the best of the best in Kuching.

The most important ingredient of a chicken rice is the chilli sauce. Good Thumb’s chilli sauce is so damn good, they might as well package it and sell it off as can drinks. I’d drink it everyday.

Best Kolo Mee

Ah Ping Mee Stall, Siang Siang Food Court Tabuan Jaya
There are no decent Kolo Mee stalls located within walking distance of any of the hotels here. For a real taste of Kuching, you must travel out to the suburbs.
Trust me, it’s worth it. You hadn’t really been to Kuching until you had a taste of Kolo Mee. And please, eat it like the locals do. Don’t mix it with dark soy sauce like how the KL people does, or mix it with sambal like how the Singaporeans do.

Actually, I still think Kuching’s best Kolo Mee is at KY Cafe on Sekama Road. But too much of the same thing can be monotonous. For a change, I recommend this stall at Siang Siang Food Court in Tabuan Jaya. When I was staying overseas, my dad used to “ta pao” the Kolo Mee from this stall and bring it over for us. It’s the only thing we look forward to.

Best Lui Teh

A residential house at the corner of Jalan Intan and Jalan Tengah, off Green Road
Lui Teh is a Hakka dish that normally tastes very bitter. Somehow the Lui Teh at this place is different – it doesn’t even taste bitter at all!
I wouldn’t even know this place existed if it weren’t from Francis bringing me out to lunch here.

This place so well-hidden inside the residential area it must be Kuching best kept Lui Teh secret.
It’s puzzling why the owner didn’t wanna set up a stall at a food court to attract more business, especially since it’s obvious that his Lui Teh recipe is so popular. Sometimes, his eatery can be so full that people have to wait outside to get a seat.
Even more puzzling is – why don’t he serve drinks to his customers to earn more income? I think maybe he knows his Lui Teh is so good, his customers are gonna salivate so much that they don’t need to order drinks anymore.

Whatever it is, you MUST try the Lui Teh at this place. Some people call it delicious.
I call it, Lui-Teh-licious.

Best Seafood Kolo Mee

Hong Yan, Jalan Kuek Sik Fong off Jalan Sekama
The place is two shoplots big and the only thing they sell there is Seafood Kolo Mee. RM5.50 is pretty expensive by Kuching’s standards, but Hong Yan makes every single cent worth it.

You don’t see the customers there complaining. Eating the Seafood Kolo Mee here makes them happy. Don’t come after 11am because I guarantee you it’ll be sold out by then.

Best Kueh Chap

Lau-Tee-Fang, 4 1/2th Mile Commercial Centre
We call it Kueh Chap. Other people call it “The Pig’s Spare Parts Soup”. Kueh Chap is made by chopping up every single internal organ of the pig and served in some black-coloured soup. Salty, but lovely.

Just like the Seafood Kolo Mee stall, the Kueh Chap at Lau-Tee-Fang is usually sold out by 11am. I wish they could make more for lunch, but they are open for breakfast only so come early.

Best Sarawak Laksa

Chong Choon Cafe, Jalan Abell.
These guys have been around for ages and they really know their stuff. Located smack in the middle of the city, they are easily accessible to tourists staying in the hotels here. The 8TV crew has been here before and they love it. I brought every single one of my friends from overseas here and they love it. Their laksa is so good its addictive.

Chong Choon is open early in the morning and their laksa is all sold out before the clock even hits 11am.
If you realise, all the good eateries in Kuching are only open for a few hours. They could’ve make more money if they are opened a bit longer to serve the lunchtime crowd, but these people don’t do it. I don’t know why.
Maybe Kuching people just don’t know how to do business.

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Useless Tourism Award

From time to time, people overseas and from other parts of Malaysia e-mailed me asking, “Hi Kenny. Big fan of blog. I’m visiting Kuching soon. What is there to do in Kuching?”

The first few times, I was happy enough to reply them individually. After 500 e-mails or so asking me different questions, it begins to get frustrating. Next time I get asked what’s there to do in Kuching, I’m gonna ask them to use what the Internet was invented for.
Then again, I guess it’s somehow understandable why so few people trusted the information given out by the Tourism Board. Quite often, what the Tourism Board recommends to tourists is VERY DIFFERENT from what a local boy would recommend to tourists.

Like recently, the Tourism Board held a major Awards ceremony to recognise outstanding tourism players in Sarawak. It’s all fine and dandy, rewarding fine talented people and all. But what I don’t understand is, why is there an award for BEST TOILET OPERATOR IN SARAWAK, but no award for BEST KOLO MEE STALL IN SARAWAK!?
Seriously! What stupid purpose does having an award for Best Toilet Operator actually serve? What are these people thinking?

Best Public Toilet Ever.

Do they think that if a tourist wanna go to the loo, they would rush to the nearest public toilet, only to find out “Oh shit! This is not by the Best Toilet Operator! How now!?”, then run around the whole of Sarawak holding their crotch looking for toilets operated by the Best Toilet Operator in Sarawak to pee at?

Of course not!
The average tourist couldn’t care less about which public toilet is the best. Everyone knows the best toilets are the ones in 5-star hotels and restaurants. And maybe those glitzy ones they have in KL that auto-clean itself and wipe your butt for you when you’re done doing business.
Actually I’m not sure about the wiping your ass part. At RM400K a piece, they ought to be able to do that.
The average tourist wanna know where the BEST LOCAL FOOD is at. They wanna EAT the stuff locals EAT. And ONLY a local can tell them where the best kolo mee and where the best laksa is at. The Tourism Board couldn’t tell that. Either that, or they don’t promote to tourists the good eateries located outside the main tourism belt.

Which is why as a local boy in support for Visit Malaysia Year 2007, kennysia.com is gonna do its part promoting Kuching tourism. It may not mean much, but I’m gonna give out Awards the Tourism Board had forgotten to give.
Presenting, kennysia.com Kuching Food Awards!

Unfortunately, in typical Malaysian fashion, “due to unforeseen circumstances”, the list is still being finalised . (Actually I just ran out of time to blog lah.)
So that’s coming up… in the next update. 😉

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Free Trip To KL

A while back, I went on possibly one of my cheapest trip to KL. In fact, it was almost free.

My airtickets were free.
I had enough frequent flyer points with Malaysia Airlines to be able to redeem a free flight to Kuala Lumpur and I gotta do it before they expire at the end of the month. After numerous times travelling on cattle class with AirAsia, it’s nice to be able to appreciate the frills offered by MAS once again.

My hotel accomodation was free.
I got it as part of a business deal I previously brokered. And it wasn’t just any hotel. It’s the very prestigious and exclusive Hilton Hotel at KL Sentral.
This hotel is so good, it’s even got BALLS.

No kidding.
I thought Swissotel Stamford in Singapore was good. Heck, Swissotel Stamford doesn’t even come close. Hilton KL Sentral is the best hotel I ever had the privilege of staying overnight in without having to pay for it.

OMG! Santa Godzilla!”

I’m saying it not just because the hotel has a fantastic view like this right outside my room window.

It’s not just because it has bathroom walls that can be opened up entirely for couples to enjoy full view of each other bathing if they wanna.

Hilton at KL Sentral is the best hotel I’ve ever stayed in, because it has the Mother of All Toilet Bowls located right in the comfort of my own room.

Check out this toilet bowl. It has two extra taps compared to your normal ones. One squirts at the front. One squirts at the back.
Go figure.
I could sit on that thing all night long and be happy.

My night out partying was free. There’s an event at Zouk KL and I was invited.

Cheesie was there because she was named one of Female Magazine’s 50 Most Gorgeous in Malaysia. Coincidentally, the night that I was in KL was the contest’s Finals night.
Knowing one of the contestants from the event sure has its perks. Not only do I not have to pay for the cover charge to get into Zouk, I was roped straight into the VIP area.

This is Davina Goh. She’s an up-and-coming actress and one of the Gorgeous 50. Davina hasn’t won any Oscars yet, but if I had a trophy in hand I’d hand it to her.
That girl deserves a special award. An award called “The Most Exaggerated Reaction When Meeting Kenny Sia Award”.
Seriously, I had some pretty weird experiences with kennysia.com readers. But NEVER EVER before had I had someone kneel down shouting “OH MY GAWDDD!!!” while waving her arms up and down in a dramatic worshipping fashion when they saw me.
Thanks Davina. That was flattering in a Buddha kinda way.

I’m not gorgeous enough, so I must wear a tag to tell people that I’m gorgeous.

Sexy Sarah Tan is a VJ from Channel [V] and one of the hosts for the event. As it turns out, lots of familiar TV personalities were hanging around the VIP area as well.

British VJ Joey G

As if partying with celebrities and 50 of Malaysia most gorgeous people wasn’t cool enough, the party was sponsored by Bailey’s and Smirnoff – which means free drinks in the VIP area all night long!
I thought it couldn’t get any better than this. I was wrong.

Midway through the contest, the hosts decided to play a little game.
The alcohol must’ve lowered my inhibitions, because when the hosts called for volunteers I climbed on stage without any hesitation. The rules of the games were simple. Along with 4 other players, I gotta find five items from the crowd: a pair of sunglasses, a handphone strap, a water bottle, a watch and a condom.
Let’s just say Cheesie hates me now. All she got for her month-long efforts as a finalist for Female’s Gorgeous 50 was a bottle of perfume and some random shopping vouchers.
I spent 5 minutes on stage playing some corny game and I won this.

Yes, not only was my entrance to Zouk and my flow of Bailey’s that night free, I actually walked away with Samsung’s brand new ultra-slim phone in my hands, FREE! Haha.
The event was pretty alright. Outside the club, I spotted a familiar face bobbing her head up and down to some imaginary music. I looked again, and realised it was FireAngel.

I once revealed her as one of the Girls I’d Date Based On Their Online Personalities. The day I spotted her at the club dancing with some hot guy was the day I was heartbroken. 🙁
Although what’s she doing dancing outside the club instead of inside the club, I have no idea.

After her thing, Cheesie and I decided to chill at this new place in Mont Kiara called Somo.
It’s a little difficult to find the place since it’s so well-hidden inside Mont Kiara. Then again, Somo is probably one of the coolest outdoor bar-lounges I have ever come across in KL. The drinks may be a little on the expensive side, but the ambience here is fantastic.
I returned to Somo again on their grand opening night and spotted this hot lass mingling around in the crowd.
It’s our very own half-Chinese half-Kelabit model-turned-TV-hostess-turned singer Hannah Tan!

Dang, she’s hot!
One MAJOR downside when you see too much of a model doing her saucy pose in magazines, is that when you finally meet the said person, you cannot help but to automatically picture her in a skimpy white bikini.

It’s a sin, I tell ya.
Anyway, I shouldn’t call her Hannah Tan because she’s repackaged into hannah t now. In Malaysia, it’s a trend that when someone makes it big in the entertainment industry, they had to keep the first letter of their last name and drop the rest.
Case in point: Hannah T, Joey G, Serena C, Adam C.

If I ever made it big in Malaysia, I’d be called… Kenny S?

Sounds like Kenny Ass. 🙁

JoyceTheFairy obviously likes Somo as well considering how much she’s been shamelessly slutting it out on her blog. I don’t disagree with her. If anyone knows KL nightlife, it’s Joyce.
The cast of kinkybluefairy are often hanging around here too.

Estranged’s Azwin Andy Malik, hitz.fm’s AdamC, Ummm… kennysia.com’s Kenny and every ladies’ man TL.

That’s Azwin Andy on the left.
Even if you don’t follow some of his works, Azwin Andy must have looked at least somewhat familiar to you. In fact, right now you’re probably thinking that you’ve seen him somewhere sometime before, but can’t exactly pinpoint where and how.
My friend, if you think that way, then you are right. Because EVERYONE in Malaysia have seen Azwin Andy before.

Remember this?

It’s alright Andy. We all make mistakes sometimes! 😛

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Abstract Art

There’s this stall at the flea market at The Curve, KL selling relatively cheap and beautiful art paintings.

I was there a couple of days ago and I bought two art pieces to decorate my otherwise dull and boring bedroom walls. But when I finally got back to Kuching, I showed my purchases to my mom, who unsurprisingly was rather unimpressed.

My mom is a Traditional Asian Mom who doesn’t know how to appreciate abstract art.
When she saw the paintings, our conversation went a little like this.
Kenny: “Look mom, I bought these paintings from KL. Nice or not?”
Mom: “What is it? Can’t see anything leh.”
Kenny: “It’s abstract art. Abstract art is liddat one, mom.”
Mom: “How much is it?” (Note: Traditional Asian Moms must know exactly how much every single one of their children’s purchases are. It’s in their genes.)
Kenny: “Don’t want to say lah.”
Mom: “How much?”
Kenny: “Don’t need to know lah.”
Mom: “…”
Kenny: “RM300…”
Mom: Cb>”HAR?!!!??!!?”
Kenny: “… plus another RM200 for the framing.”
Mom: “FIVE HUNDRED RINGGIT!?!?!?!!?!?!”

Kenny: “For two paintings!”
Kenny: “It’s nice what!”

For the record, Jayden is my mother’s grandson and my three-year-old nephew. The last time I saw Jayden draw something, it looked a little like this.

Yes, my mother said this “masterpiece” is better than the RM500 paintings I bought from KL.

Don’t you just love Traditional Asian Moms?

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Prepaid Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The SIM

Previously in Prepaid Wars, we arrived at a cliffhanger ending when our three competing telcos tied up with three points each in their round-of-six battle for supremacy.

I got a few things to say after reading the comments from my last entry. The first is that for “normal” users, you’re not gonna find much differences in the call rates across all three prepaid telcos. That’s why I only focus on the extras provided by the telcos.
The second is that I can’t measure network coverage. Sure, I can put three different SIM cards in three different phones and drive up from Kuching to Tawau then swim to Kuala Lumpur, but signal strength is affected by many other factors like phone design and surrounding environment.

From what many people are saying: Celcom has the best coverage, Maxis is moving on par with Celcom and Digi’s coverage sucks the most. My friend Jojo uses DiGi Prepaid and lives in the popular residential area of Batu Kawa. It’s tough to get in touch with her because the poor girl can only get a signal in her kitchen and not in her bedroom. So much for their so-called “wide coverage”.
In any case, it’s an intense toss-up between three bloodsworn enemies as we arrive to the finale of another episode of…

Round Four: The Kiasu Marathon Caller
You are a Kiasu Marathon Caller if you send lots of SMS or talk on the phone for more than say, 20 minutes a day.
I knew a guy once who could talk on the phone with his girlfriend for 7 hours straight. That’s pretty impressive considering most guys I know don’t have an attention span of more than 10 minutes, unless it involves sex.
If your girl is the weird kind who finds long-windedness in a sensitive new age guy desirable, then this is for you.

If you’re a moderate user, it doesn’t matter which telco you choose because at the end of the day the their rates are pretty much the same. If you’re a heavy user, both Hotlink Total and Digi Prepaid offer better discounts if you spend more than a certain amount.
Without needing to spend a minimum amount, Xpax is already 38c/min if you call to other Celcom numbers. Xpax is however, more expensive if you call to other networks. DiGi’s rate starts off at 48c/min but drops to 38c/min if you spend more than RM30 a month. If you spend less than RM6 a day, Hotlink is just slightly more expensive than the rest.

But what I like about Hotlink’s Total Plan is that on days which you don’t feel like spending much, you can choose to call less or not to call anyone at all. On the days that you wanna make more calls, you can do that and save up to 50% compared to the rest once you spend more than RM6 in a day. Unlike Digi, you don’t have to wait until you hit RM30 in a month before you qualify for a lower rate. Out of the three, only Hotlink gives you that sorta flexibility.
For the winner of Round 4, my pick is simple.

Round Five: The Eager Freeloader
You are an Eager Freeloader if you sign up for a new prepaid number just to enjoy the privileges and benefits that comes along with it. There are some crazy people who sign up with all three telcos just so they could get special treatment to the events these telco sponsored.

Celcom Xpax’s starter pack is the cheapest. At RM5 per pack, it comes with RM2 free airtime.
They don’t seem to sponsor a lot of notable concerts in the past. But if you’re a movie buff, you should be happy with their range of movie memorabilia from Casino Royale, King Kong and that Matrix knockoff from Bollywood called Don.

You don’t get a lot of benefits like discounts and privileges as Xpax subscribers apart from movie posters, ringtones and stuff.
Digi Prepaid Pack costs RM8.50. It includes RM5 free airtime each month for 4 months if you top up every month, and 50% extra airtime on your first reload. I guess that’s their way of enticing their customers to actually use their product.

Digi does sponsor a fair bit of concerts, though unfortunately they’re mostly from B-grade South-East Asian artistes like Tata Young and Denise Ho. However, Digi deserves some credit for supporting local indie acts like at the recent Digi Streetblast and the Malaysian Idol-inspired singing contest called Digi Celebriteen.

Hotlink Total Plan’s Starter Pack costs the most among the three at RM8.80 per pack, but it gets you started with RM4 credit and a whopping 500 SMSes to any Maxis number.
And when it comes to concerts, hohoho… Hotlink has got all the big names covered. We’re talking about international A-listers like David Tao, Pussycat Dolls, Eason Chen, Twins, Justin Lo and so much more.

It’s enough to make any fat pimply teenage girl cream her panties.
This one, is a no-brainer.

Round Six: The Diehard Loyal
They say its easier to keep an existing customer than to recruit a new one. In a market where the fight for that elusive slice of pie is intense as this one, all three telcos are doing all they can to reward their long-serving customers.

Celcom Xpax‘s loyalty benefit is whereby the longer you stay with them, the more free credits you’ll get.
Digi Rewards is based on how much you topped up over the period of 4 months. The more money you spend on reloads, the more free credits you’ll get. Digi also has this cool deal where you can get 50% extra credit if you top-up on your bithday.
Hotlink’s Club Rewards is based on points system. 100 Reward Points can be redeemed for either RM1 airtime or 50 free SMSes. Every RM1 top up earns you 2 points. That’s 1 free SMS.

Just a few weeks ago, Hotlink unveiled an even more unique way of earning points. They call it the Call-Me Bonus, and you can earn points just by answering your calls. The longer you stay on the line, the more reward points you get.
If only scoring points is that easy. Those freeloaders don’t even have to spend a single cent to collect points and redeem free airtime and SMSes.
Next time I get a missed call from a 012 number, I’ll know got ulterior motives one.

When it comes to dishing out rewards, it is Hotlink’s package that stood out brilliantly from the rest. With Celcom and Digi, you gotta wait at least 5 months before you could redeem anything. With Hotlink, their rewards are almost instantaneous.
It’s hard to argue with this one.

Final Thoughts
It is true that not one telco provides the best plan to suit all different kinds of user.

What’s clear to me is this. If you call Celcom or fixed line numbers often, Xpax suits you best. If you call outstation numbers often, Digi suits you best – though I must admit I have been hearing too much complaints from Digi customers about this telco’s spotty coverage.
Hotlink’s pricing structure is so complicated, I’m surprised they don’t offer a bachelor’s degree program on it at our local universities. No wonder Digi’s One Low Flat Rate campaign is gonna win over the average customers confused with Hotlink’s complicated pricing structure.

But the smarter consumers would realise that it is that same complicated pricing structure that gives Hotlink unrivalled flexibility to kick Digi and Celcom’s collective arses. Top off Hotlink’s flexible rates with great coverage, world-class concerts, an impressive rewards programme and the Call-Me Bonus, even the fiercest critics must agree that Digi and Celcom has got NOTHING on them to fight Hotlink.
I have made my verdict. The public poll in my last entry confirms it. With a score of 9-6-3, the undisputed champion of the Prepaid Wars is…

Maxis Hotlink.
No questions about that.

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