I noticed lately there’s been an explosion of blogs written by Ah Bengs within the Malaysian and Singaporean blogospheres.
In Malaysia, we have this Cantonese blog and that Hokkien ‘bollock’. I have to say, the Hokkien blog impresses me even until today. Limpeh still find it quite amazing how that Hokkien Lang is able to spell all these bloody Hokkien words using English. Even his readers also comment in Hokkien instead of English! Waliew!
Then over in Singapore, those Ah Beng and Ah Lian bloggers lagi more power. From Apple Lim to BlinkyMummy to
Big Fuck Rambo Tan, to Rockson Takumi Tan’s Talk Rock which spawned imitators like the now defunct Emilio Jackson Tan and the Ranting Rock.
These are all very popular blogs and I admit its guilty pleasure reading them from time to time. I realised that suddenly Bengism is not just a subculture others would look down on, because when you can cuss with style and write words like “KNNBCCB that NKF, TT and CPF!” dammit YOU ARE COOL OK!?
Seeing as how being an Ah Beng is cool once again, I decided to try my hand, and write the rest of my entry in Benglish – ie, in broken English, heavily applying swear words, and excessive use of the word ‘ok!?’
All these news about Rafidah Aziz I read until my coconuts also turn from green to red liaw. That bloody Rafidah gave out 67,000 car import permits, 28,000 of those to just FOUR of her Bumi friends. KNN your friends all drive Jaguar and we’re still fucked by Kancils. Not fair ok!?
Actually hor, I got no problems if she gives those free permits to the Bumis lah. Otherwise they won’t be in the sell car business one. Long long time ago all these Malays sell sell satay and rendang, now sell BM and Honda. Good lah!
But fuck, wanna give permit also have to see who you give it to ok? Some ppl got no caryard you also give, no showroom you also give, no office with chiobu secretary in miniskirts you also give. Give them AP for fuck?! Where you think they gonna store their cars?! Inside their kacheng kang issit?! KNN damn kuay lan ok?!
Those import permits might be a piece of A4 paper to you but is worth a lot to us. One piece of paper you give for free to your Bumi friends with no car yard. You think they go take the paper and sell car one is it? Cheebye lah you kena conned. They not in the sell car business, they in the sell paper business ok!? Those paper they sell it to all their non-Bumi friends ok!? Not 50 sen not RM1, but RM40,000 for ONE PIECE of lan jiao fucking paper ok?!? CCB my ten year salary also not that much ok!?
See lah now you anger Mahathir already. Mahathir you also dare to anger. LIMPEH MAHATHIR IS PROTON ADVISOR OK! He no like imported cars one ok! He the biggest most powerfullest person in Malaysia ok?! Even me, Kenny Pukima Sia, also scared of him one ok!? Last time Anwar so nice carried his balls, then when he try to fuck with Mahathir see what happened… Mahathir fuck him back deep deep now and Anwar have to pang sai like waterfall!
Ah then Mahathir scold you and then you cry. And now you say what want to abolish AP! KNNCCB!!!! Already give out 67,000 permits still dare to say want to abolish AP!!! NABEH ten years ago can abolish you don’t wanna abolish. Now give out all these free permits and make all your friends rich rich liaw then say you want to abolish!!! KANINA RAFIDAH!!!
Your cheebye talk so much crap! No wonder they complain the air in KL smell like shit!
Fuck your motherfucking permits lah!!!