I’m never good scheming an April Fool’s prank.
When I was young, everyone hated me on the 1st of April. Whenever my group of friends decided to pull a prank on some poor kid, I was always the first to get all red-faced and laugh out loud. The (supposed) victim would get suspicious and my mates would get all upset because I single-handedly ruined their evil plan.
Eventually I decided that I’m hopeless at poking fun at other people, and so I resigned to my fate as the target of all pranks. I’m not sure what the other bloggers have up their sleeves come this April Fool’s. Someone slap me if its not somewhere along the lines of my-blog-is-shutting-down, I-lost-my-job-cos-of-my-blog, or another one of those terrifying watch-this-carefully-and-you’ll-see-a-ghost.
But you know what? This year, I smartened up. I REFUSE to be made fun of by others. This year, I decided that only I am worthy of making fun of MYSELF.
Maybe its the excess bandwidth usage last month. Maybe its too many episodes of the Numa Numa Dance. But somehow I have an inexplicable urge to embarrass myself on the Internet, and perhaps scare away a few of kennysia.com’s readers in the process to save some bandwidth costs.
There are many well-known bloggers in the ‘blogosphere’ out there. They said that if you can’t beat them… then for fuck’s sake, beat them harder! With a baseball bat, perhaps.
So. Partially inspired by minishorts and the sexyblogger project, I decided that I’m gonna sacrifice my virginity dignity, put myself in their shoes, and see what its like if its ME and not THEM that’s famous.
Anyway, consider this my April Fool’s dedication.

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Who better to start the ball rolling, than a fellow Sarawakian and controversial blogger, Poh Huai Bin of sixthseal.com?

Offensive yet intelligent. Controversial yet witty. If there ever were a blog version of the Ewan McGregor movie Trainspotting, sixthseal.com would be it.
If there ever were going to be a blog version of “Dumb and Dumber”, kennysia.com would be it.

Note: the dilation of my pupils is not real, its photoshopped. The dilation of Huai Bin’s pupils however……. is also photoshopped.

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Next on my list is the author of Screenshots, Jeff Ooi, Malaysia’s Most Influential Blogger. I don’t know why people call him that, but Jeff Ooi is definitely one of Malaysia’s best known blogger. Browse through any Malaysian blog and I guarantee you at least half of them will be linked to Jeff Ooi.

I’m probably not that influential yet…

… but at least I’m trying.

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I had thought about doing an imitation of Malaysia’s favourite erotic blogger, author of The Hustler Diaries, Mr Sleek Black Mercedes. However, the Hustler himself decided to keep his identity anonymous. Browsing through his site, I was unable to find anything resembling a photo of him except for an award he won which he proudly displayed on the sidebar of his blog.

Impressive. That’s one thing I can forget about winning. I’ll probably be winning this instead.

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I was going to stop here because I can’t think of anyone else worth spoofing. Then I thought, why stop at the guys?
Introducing Kimberlycun, owner of Malaysia’s smoothest pair of legs, and coincidentally the author of that fantastic blog with a fantastic title, “Narcissism Is Necessary”.

Introducing… my legs.

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I was going to stop here.
But once again, I thought “Why stop at Malaysia? Why not look at say, Singapore?”
Whilst Malaysia’s best known blogger is an uncle called Jeff Ooi, Singapore’s best known blogger is a babe called Xia Xue. Xia Xue is Wendy Cheng, someone who left thousands of ‘blogders’ a day wondering “Why are we worshipping the ground she blogs on?”

The looks, the brains, the body. Man, I wish I can be like her sometimes. But alas, I think I’m just gonna “Xia Xuey” myself.

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I hope I’m not gonna regret this when I look back 5 years later. Sorry I wasted your time with this half-arsed foolish entry.
The obligatory flame extinguisher: My apologies to the people above whom I’ve made a parody of. You have the right to be deeply offended because I’m not as pretty as you are. But hey, its the 1st of April! So please, chill… chill….
Added 3rd April 2005: I noticed there’s a lot of non-regular kennysia.com readers dropping by this page. I’d sincerely appreciate it if you leave me just a short comment, telling me who you are and all that stuff. You know, as a small token for my effort putting up this entry. Thanks in advance! 🙂
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