Category: Life Documentary

Teaching School Kids How To Blog

Over the weekend, I was flown to KL by SEGi College to give a presentation on blogging to some secondary school kids as part of the college’s Junior Journalist Programme.

I haven’t spoken in front of a large crowd for quite a while, so naturally I was quite nervous when my turn came.
Luckily, my friend David was there to give me a hand.

Why do I look like I’m wearing a helmet here?

Now, this David guy is what I would call a magician or an illusionist. But in his lingo, he prefers to call himself a “mentalist”.
No, that does not mean that he is mental. That just means that his specialty is “reading people’s mind”.
That, and bending forks.

Video taken by IcyQueenGoddess

Earlier, David suggested that I perform some simple tricks before my presentation as an ice-breaker. I thought good. My talk was the last one of the day and I probably needed something to wake up the audience (other than splashing them with hot coffee which was what was originally intended.)
Problem is, I don’t know any magic. “No problems,” David assured, as he guided me with detailed instructions on what I have to do.

Our routine involved David placing a clear sealed envelope on stage in full view of the audience the whole time.
Inside the envelope was a series of three predictions.

Yes I know I look fat here. Shaddup. Bad angle.

With the help of this special crunched-up paper ball (which was really just some rubbish paper I found on the floor) that I threw it into the crowd, I randomly picked three members of the audience and got them to name me a phone number, a male blogger and a female blogger of their choice.
Then I went back on stage, took out the contents of the envelope, and whaddya know?
All three of those random audience’s choices appeared exactly on that piece of paper inside!

WHOA! An audience member wowed by my awesomeness.

Yes, Kenny Sia can perform magic. Bow down to me now, biatches.
Ok lah, honestly speaking I also dunno how that happened. Maciam magic liddat those predictions just “boom” appeared on the piece of paper liddat.

Click to download my Powerpoint slides

My actual presentation was a bit less entertaining compared to my opening act.
I went through a series of topics with the school kids about blogging, pointing out the tools available, ways to get traffic for their blogs, how to handle negative comments, and most importantly how to keep themselves away from trouble with the law.

The truth is, talking about blogging is one thing. Making the talk entertaining is another thing.
As much as I tried to simplify, the topics I covered were very serious and extremely dry. After what seems like an eternity of rambling on stage, I didn’t expect these school kids to take in much of what I said.
Heck, my speech was so boring some of the kids on front row even fell asleep. So when question time came I wasn’t anticipating anyone to raise any questions at all.
To my surprise, one tiny kiut little ger sitting at the back of the auditorium raised her hand with much enthusiasm and gutso.

This wasn’t her, just using this photo for illustration.

I turned my focus towards the girl and perked my ears to listen attentively.
At the back of my mind, I was wondering what deep questions along the lines of “online-legal-concerns-and-defamation-lawsuits-against-bloggers” this young journalist-to-be might implore me to answer.

That was when she stood up, looked at me dead in the eyes, and asked…

“Kenny, can I take a photo with you?”
%@&$^*&! Did anyone actually pay attention to what I just talked about or not!?

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I Have PMS (Pre-Marathon Stress)

I’m in Penang now.

Somehow, Icy who’s also travelling to Penang for the Nuffnang Gathering managed to con me into becoming her bodyguard for the trip.
Our conversation went something like this.
Kenny: “I’m gonna be sleeping in a lot you know? I need all the energy I can get for the race.”
IcyQueenGoddess: “Okay, I’m tagging along with you!”
Kenny: “!?!?!”

It’s less than 6 hours before the gun goes off at the starting line of the Penang International Bridge Marathon, and I am nervous like hell.
I shouldn’t be feeling this way. This is my second marathon race after the one I did last year in KL. I have put in a lot more time and effort training for this one. My weight has gone done, my mileage has gone up. Mentally, I am better prepared for what lies ahead.

I’ve been training longer than this actually. Just didn’t log them down.

But my goal this time round is different. Last year, my aim was to simply cross the finishing line. This year, my target was to finish the 42km in 5 hours time. Realistically speaking, I should be happy with anything below the 5 hr 30 min mark lah.
That is    not a lot for seasoned marathoners who can easily finish 42km in 2hr45mins. But bear in mind that I’m still a pretty heavy guy. Endurance sports like long-distance running isn’t my forte and is gonna push me so out of my comfort zone that I’m sure I’m gonna be feeling it for days, if not weeks, to come.

Things I’m bringing with me to the race:
– adidas ClimaLite tank top and running shorts: To wick away sweat from my body when running.
– iPod nano with armband: Loaded with my favourite chill house music.
– PowerBar Gels: Easy to digest carbohydrates when I need them.

Agel OHM: Reader Kenneth Lim sent these to me complimentary, and they work like magic. The energy boost is incredible.
– Digital camera: Even when I’m running a marathon, blogging is on the back of my mind.

– Analgesic cream, plaster, gastric pills: For on the spot treatment of annoyances.
– Waist pouch: To put all these things in.
– Petroleum jelly: To lube myself up to reduce chaffing. And yes, I shaved. There.

– Running cap: To combat sunlight.
– adidas Supernova Control 2007: aka the best running shoes I have ever worn.

Thanks for the T-shirt, Eddie!

Things I look forward to:
– The exhiliration and energy of the crowd at the starting line.
– Keeping my target pace consistently at 6:50 per km.
– The hypnotic trance I get into midway through the race.
– Watching girls in short shorts.
– The indescribable feeling when I cross the finishing line.

Things I fear:
– 1km of uphill climb in the middle of the bridge.
– Cramps. I had a severe case last year at the 30km mark that basically forced me to walk for the remaining 12km.
– Bad weather. The forecast for Sunday according to Yahoo! Weather is “Scattered Thunderstorms”. So not looking forward to that. Just a few days ago, Penang was the target of a freak storm that blew off boats. Surely you won’t wanna see headlines that scream “Kuching Marathoner Blown Off The Penang Bridge” tomorrow on the newspapers.

This past few months I have put up with much sacrifices, much time away from friends and family, much time I could have spent doing something else.
I could only train so much, but finally this is all coming to an end.
And I’m here to claim my reward!

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Sexy Back

Maybe it’s those deliciously unhygenic street-side food I had in Jakarta, but I wasn’t feeling too well ever since I returned home yesterday.

My face was pale, my feet were sore and my nose was running a marathon non-stop.
Off I went to visit my foot reflexologist at BDC to help me feel a bit better. But barely 10 minutes into my session, my therapist looked at my condition and suggested that I should try “fire cupping” instead. She said and I quote, that it’s gonna help me “suck the toxins out of my body”. Okayyyy!
That sounds helluva interesting eventhough I didn’t know what the hell “fire cupping” was about. But I was willing to try anyway. So I was led into a private room. She asked me to take off my shirt as she slowly dimmed the lights…
60 minutes and a lot of screaming later, I was left with this.


Oh. My. Gawd.
Tell me I don’t look like I was being raped by a giant freaking octopus!

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An Unfortunate Accident

I just witnessed a horrific car accident earlier today. I am still in distraught.

Potentially disturbing images ahead

*~*~*~* Public Service Announcement *~*~*~*
Please note that kennysia.com has received permission from the involved’s direct family to publish the photos of the car accident on this website.

kennysia.com wishes to advise anyone reading this entry that not everyone may wish to have these photos published as such. If you encounter a potentially fatal car accident in the future, please always ensure that the victims are safe first and foremost.

*~*~*~* Public Service Announcement *~*~*~*

It was along the Batu Kawa-Matang Road. The driver of a Honda had tried to overtake the vehicle in front of her. She didn’t succeed, and was met with a head-on collision with a cargo truck instead.

When I was driving past the scene, all I noticed was a bystander shouting for help. He couldn’t get a phone signal in the new area so I offered to help by calling the emergency number.

I had received First Aid training before, but when I was put into a situation like this, I honestly do not know how to react.
For a long time I stood there in shock and distress, not knowing what to do except run around asking for help.

More volunteers had arrived. A man was calm enough to open the car door to check on the conditions of the passengers.
I looked inside and took a glimpse of the driver. She was a young lady around my age, still in her seat belt, body slouching to the side, eyes half opened. Lifeless.

The spoiler of the lorry had gone right through the windscreen and smashed into the headrest of her seat. She couldn’t have survived.

Then I saw that there were children inside the car. Young kids, no bigger than my own nephew and nieces. Their bodies, covered in blood, sprawling over the car seats of the car.
My heart sank.

We noticed a young girl still breathing. Immediately, one of the volunteers carried her out of the car and rushed her to the hospital.
I don’t know what happened to her eventually. The newspaper report said that she survived but suffered serious head injuries.

If anyone reading this website knows the family of the unfortunate souls who perished in this incident, please drop me an e-mail.
I may not know you, but I apologise because I was there at the time of the incident and I do not know what else there is to do. If you know the condition of the little girl in hospital, please tell me. And if there is anything at all that I can do to help, financial or otherwise, please let me know.

I am sorry.

Happy Birthday naeboo

Dear naeboo, today is your birthday.

naeboo = angel disguised as a devil

I actually find it somewhat amusing that I am wishing you happy birthday now.
Before we met, I used to always have this nagging feeling that you didn’t like me, just ‘cos you don’t like “femes” bloggers. A long time ago, I even wouldn’t have expected the two of us to have come this far, nor would I have considered you to end up becoming one of my most trusted friends. Ever.

The night I won RM200 eating raw eggs and cherry tomatoes covered in tabasco sauce, after you PUSHED ME ONTO STAGE.

Sure, you dissed me a lot. You dissed my hair. You dissed my face. You dissed my weight. You called me an orang utan. Dammit, you dissed my taste in women. BIG TIME.
But hey, at least I know that if I am ever in need of a honest-to-God no nonsense opinion, I have you.

You are one crazy cracked-up nutcase, but for some inexplicable reason, I know I can trust you. Either you are really special, or I am just too damn stupid.
You are one of the very, very few people I feel comfortable sharing my dirtiest secrets with. Then again, I know you have secrets dirtier than mine. 😀
Although to be honest, I’m not too sure if I should feel special that you’re sharing it with me, ‘cos more often than not you just give me TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Ewww.

Your photogenic legs

But what I like most about us is the effortless chemistry that we share. Riding Osim iGallop together. Challenging me to eat Sup Torpedo. Chatting till 5am until I missed my flight. Taking a piss out of the audience at Deal or No Deal screaming “Bu Mai! Bu Mai!” *waves hands in a frantic manner*

And hey, thanks also for moderating my Chatterbox. To show you my appreciation, I shall dedicate the rest of this entry to my favourite classic naeboo quotes.

Talking To A Very Frustated naeboo
naeboo says: i’m so stresseddddddddd
Kenny says: its very easy, i show u
naeboo says: 253645869
Kenny says: (you forgot ur shift button)
naeboo says: i just feel like swearing in numbers

Clubbing in Penang

Kenny says: Eh, how come there are “mounds” in front of the clubbing district? So strange.
naeboo says: That’s where they bury the dead clubbers.

naeboo’s First Time At KL’s Low Cost Carrier Terminal Airport

naeboo says: Whoa. This airport really low cost.
*The baggage carousel’s alarm began to sound*
naeboo says: Hehehe! Even the alarm sounds so low cost. Like the sound of chicken chirping. They put chickens inside cages and poke them with needles. And then when the chicken gets fat, they take them out and sell it to KFC! Wahahaha!

Malaysia’s IC System

Kenny says: Eh see, my IC spoil already. Got split in the middle.
naeboo says: Just laminate it lah.
Kenny says: Cannot! If I laminate it then I cannot use the smart chip anymore.
naeboo says: When’s the last time you used the smart chip in your IC?
Kenny says:
Kenny says: Good point.

Poking Fun at Kuching’s Ulu-ness

Kenny says: Wow, traffic lights in Penang really advanced hor. Got countdown timer somemore.
naeboo says: Yalor, in Kuching our traffic lights are powered by fireflies.
Jin Boone says: Really ar!?
naeboo says: Ya. And then if we wanna get Astro, we have to put a monkey on our roof to hold a wok pointing towards the sky. That’s why when it’s raining we cannot get any Astro reception.
naeboo says: BECAUSE THE MONKEY GOT SICK!

Hahaha! Happy birthday. Bitch. 😛

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Good Luck, Nicole

My friend, fellow travel junkie and partner in The Amazing Race Asia (if we managed to get through lah), Nicole Tan, is one of the grand finalists for tonight’s Miss Malaysia Universe 2007.

For a girl with the personality of a tomboy who has never modelled before, never joined a pageant before and never even been in a bikini before, this is gonna be quite an incredible feat.

All these while, she’s that small town girl from Malacca who enjoys eating exotic food like snails and worms and iguanas. And now, she could be the next Andrea Fonseka. Heck, she could possibly even be the next Jennifer Hawkins.
Go on Nicole, make us proud.

I must admit, having a Miss Malaysia as a partner for The Amazing Race is definitely gonna be something to brag about. Heh heh.

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What Are The Odds?

This is too much of a coincidence.

What are the odds of a Kuching blogger travelling to Penang to be part of a reality TV show, eating Penang Char Kueh Teow at a table, right next to a Singaporean blogger who’s also travelling to Penang to shoot a separate TV show?

I swear there wasn’t any prior planning going into this. The whole thing just happened completely out of the blue.
I was just sitting there doing my thing when I noticed an ang moh boy walking across the road. I thought to myself, “Hmmm… that guy looks remarkably like XiaXue‘s boyfriend.”

A short while later, I noticed a tall lanky girl sporting a tattoo of a star on her arm walking past me, and I thought to myself, “Hmmm… that girl looks just like XiaXue’s Girls Out Loud co-host Rozz.”
“Hey wait a minute, it IS Rozz.”

Turns out the whole Girls Out Loud crew was there in Penang, eating at the exact same Char Kueh Teow stall at the exact same time as I did. Seriously, what are the chances right?
I couldn’t even recognise Wendy Cheng. Sporting a new hair colour and a new nose, she’s looking refreshly different.

Heh. A Kuching boy and a Singaporean girl bumping into each other at a little lorong in Penang, of all places.
It’s a small world after all.

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Ouch

I somehow managed to cut myself today.

I was walking around a construction area this afternoon. Some contractor there left a huge piece of glass on the table. When I walked past it, I unknowingly swung my hand into the glass and it left a deep gash on my finger.
Strangely it didn’t hurt one bit when my flesh was cut inside. Blood was flowing non-stop, but I thought all I gotta do is put a plaster on it and just go home.

The doctor actually took this pic for me. Haha!

It wasn’t until the doctor told me that I require stitches to close up the gaping wound that I freaked out.
Yes, I may have balls the size of coconuts but I’m a pussy when it comes to people poking needles in me. What more, sewing my flesh up like it’s a piece of clothing.

The procedure wasn’t as bad as I thought though. The doctor poked a needle in me and two minutes later my hand was numb. Still, having a needle stuck in me hurts more than having a glass piece slice open my flesh. I had two stitches put on my finger.
I was also refrained from swimming and lifting any heavy weights for two weeks. Guess that pretty much means that come Chinese New Year, my uncles and aunties will be saying “WAH! So fat already huh !?”

I took a photo of my wounded finger in its worst state, but I don’t think I should put it up here. There are kids and old people reading this thing.
It is very disgusting. And I strongly advise you against seeing it if you have a weak heart. You wouldn’t be able to take it. It is gruesome. Still, if you are curious and you really wanna see how it looks like, feel free to go ahead and…
CLICK HERE.
Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

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Flood Relief

YC popped me an e-mail message last night.

“Spread the words uncle kenny! LINK
Raising funds for the flood. thanks heaps!! xoxo”

Puzzled, I replied:

Wait… Did you just say you wanna raise funds for the flood? Or did you mean you wanna raise fund for the flood VICTIMS?
I dun wanna raise no muthafrickin’ funds for no muthafrickin’ FLOOD, yo!

She then proceeded to laugh her head off at her obvious error.

Anyway, self-made fashion designer YC is doing something for a good cause. From now until February, she’s auctioning off items from her Blackjettas Jewellery and Drama Mama range to raise funds to aid the recent Johor flood victims. All her clothes and jewellery are handmade by herself and one of her kind, meaning you won’t EVER find another person wearing the same stuff.
You can find out more at her blog or e-mail yc.phoon@gmail.com
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The day before I got a phone call from someone unexpected.
Caller: “Hello is this Kenny Sia?”
Kenny: “Yes, this is Kenny speaking.”
Caller: “Kenny, this is JJ and Rudy from the hitz.fm Morning Crew!”
Kenny: “OH MY GAWDDDDDD!!!!”

JJ and Rudy are hosts of the breakfast show on radio station hitz.fm (Malaysia’s No.1 hit station!), which I listen to on my way to work every morning. These two are famous for making hilarious prank GOTCHA calls to terrorise innocent victims who don’t know better. I had wasn’t one of their targets before I realised that they actually called to ask for a favour.
The hitz.fm Morning Crew is organising a charity event, and they wanted me to write something on kennysia.com to help promote it. I agreed, but after putting down the phone I felt a little strange. See, hitz.fm is mass media and kennysia.com is just a blog. How come a mass media is asking a blog to promote their event?! Shouldn’t it be like… the other way round?

Anyway, if you want to help out some 90,000 victims affected by the water devastation in Malaysia’s south, please bring along donations to La Bodega at Bangsar Shopping Centre, Kuala Lumpur this Saturday, 27th January, between 11am to 2pm.
They wanna help the kids more than anything else so they’re looking in particular for school uniforms, school bags, shoes and stationery items, but basic necessities and food items are still welcome.

The hitz.fm crew and local celebs like Pop Shuvit, Liang, Afdlin Shauki (from the movie Sumo-lah) and KinkyBlueFairy will all be there and La Bodega will be providing free refreshments for those who dropped by.

Getting hit by the flood is bad, but getting hit by the flood twice in a month is even more suay. While we’re wondering where to go for a night out drinking, those kids affected by the flood are wondering how they’re gonna even go to school when all their belongings were washed away.
So let’s all have compassion and do something for the less fortunates instead of sitting comfortably on your butt surfing the Net, ok?


Please?

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Free Trip To KL

A while back, I went on possibly one of my cheapest trip to KL. In fact, it was almost free.

My airtickets were free.
I had enough frequent flyer points with Malaysia Airlines to be able to redeem a free flight to Kuala Lumpur and I gotta do it before they expire at the end of the month. After numerous times travelling on cattle class with AirAsia, it’s nice to be able to appreciate the frills offered by MAS once again.

My hotel accomodation was free.
I got it as part of a business deal I previously brokered. And it wasn’t just any hotel. It’s the very prestigious and exclusive Hilton Hotel at KL Sentral.
This hotel is so good, it’s even got BALLS.

No kidding.
I thought Swissotel Stamford in Singapore was good. Heck, Swissotel Stamford doesn’t even come close. Hilton KL Sentral is the best hotel I ever had the privilege of staying overnight in without having to pay for it.

OMG! Santa Godzilla!”

I’m saying it not just because the hotel has a fantastic view like this right outside my room window.

It’s not just because it has bathroom walls that can be opened up entirely for couples to enjoy full view of each other bathing if they wanna.

Hilton at KL Sentral is the best hotel I’ve ever stayed in, because it has the Mother of All Toilet Bowls located right in the comfort of my own room.

Check out this toilet bowl. It has two extra taps compared to your normal ones. One squirts at the front. One squirts at the back.
Go figure.
I could sit on that thing all night long and be happy.

My night out partying was free. There’s an event at Zouk KL and I was invited.

Cheesie was there because she was named one of Female Magazine’s 50 Most Gorgeous in Malaysia. Coincidentally, the night that I was in KL was the contest’s Finals night.
Knowing one of the contestants from the event sure has its perks. Not only do I not have to pay for the cover charge to get into Zouk, I was roped straight into the VIP area.

This is Davina Goh. She’s an up-and-coming actress and one of the Gorgeous 50. Davina hasn’t won any Oscars yet, but if I had a trophy in hand I’d hand it to her.
That girl deserves a special award. An award called “The Most Exaggerated Reaction When Meeting Kenny Sia Award”.
Seriously, I had some pretty weird experiences with kennysia.com readers. But NEVER EVER before had I had someone kneel down shouting “OH MY GAWDDD!!!” while waving her arms up and down in a dramatic worshipping fashion when they saw me.
Thanks Davina. That was flattering in a Buddha kinda way.

I’m not gorgeous enough, so I must wear a tag to tell people that I’m gorgeous.

Sexy Sarah Tan is a VJ from Channel [V] and one of the hosts for the event. As it turns out, lots of familiar TV personalities were hanging around the VIP area as well.

British VJ Joey G

As if partying with celebrities and 50 of Malaysia most gorgeous people wasn’t cool enough, the party was sponsored by Bailey’s and Smirnoff – which means free drinks in the VIP area all night long!
I thought it couldn’t get any better than this. I was wrong.

Midway through the contest, the hosts decided to play a little game.
The alcohol must’ve lowered my inhibitions, because when the hosts called for volunteers I climbed on stage without any hesitation. The rules of the games were simple. Along with 4 other players, I gotta find five items from the crowd: a pair of sunglasses, a handphone strap, a water bottle, a watch and a condom.
Let’s just say Cheesie hates me now. All she got for her month-long efforts as a finalist for Female’s Gorgeous 50 was a bottle of perfume and some random shopping vouchers.
I spent 5 minutes on stage playing some corny game and I won this.

Yes, not only was my entrance to Zouk and my flow of Bailey’s that night free, I actually walked away with Samsung’s brand new ultra-slim phone in my hands, FREE! Haha.
The event was pretty alright. Outside the club, I spotted a familiar face bobbing her head up and down to some imaginary music. I looked again, and realised it was FireAngel.

I once revealed her as one of the Girls I’d Date Based On Their Online Personalities. The day I spotted her at the club dancing with some hot guy was the day I was heartbroken. 🙁
Although what’s she doing dancing outside the club instead of inside the club, I have no idea.

After her thing, Cheesie and I decided to chill at this new place in Mont Kiara called Somo.
It’s a little difficult to find the place since it’s so well-hidden inside Mont Kiara. Then again, Somo is probably one of the coolest outdoor bar-lounges I have ever come across in KL. The drinks may be a little on the expensive side, but the ambience here is fantastic.
I returned to Somo again on their grand opening night and spotted this hot lass mingling around in the crowd.
It’s our very own half-Chinese half-Kelabit model-turned-TV-hostess-turned singer Hannah Tan!

Dang, she’s hot!
One MAJOR downside when you see too much of a model doing her saucy pose in magazines, is that when you finally meet the said person, you cannot help but to automatically picture her in a skimpy white bikini.

It’s a sin, I tell ya.
Anyway, I shouldn’t call her Hannah Tan because she’s repackaged into hannah t now. In Malaysia, it’s a trend that when someone makes it big in the entertainment industry, they had to keep the first letter of their last name and drop the rest.
Case in point: Hannah T, Joey G, Serena C, Adam C.

If I ever made it big in Malaysia, I’d be called… Kenny S?

Sounds like Kenny Ass. 🙁

JoyceTheFairy obviously likes Somo as well considering how much she’s been shamelessly slutting it out on her blog. I don’t disagree with her. If anyone knows KL nightlife, it’s Joyce.
The cast of kinkybluefairy are often hanging around here too.

Estranged’s Azwin Andy Malik, hitz.fm’s AdamC, Ummm… kennysia.com’s Kenny and every ladies’ man TL.

That’s Azwin Andy on the left.
Even if you don’t follow some of his works, Azwin Andy must have looked at least somewhat familiar to you. In fact, right now you’re probably thinking that you’ve seen him somewhere sometime before, but can’t exactly pinpoint where and how.
My friend, if you think that way, then you are right. Because EVERYONE in Malaysia have seen Azwin Andy before.

Remember this?

It’s alright Andy. We all make mistakes sometimes! 😛

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