Category: Life Documentary

The Cashier at Coles

One of the reasons why I love Perth so much, is the people of Perth.
I think Perth people are the friendliest, most laid-back and fun people in the entire world. Whilst there are exceptions, a majority of people in Perth are truly down-to-earth and nice people. Strangers would greet you when you meet them in the park, and you don’t have to be paranoid about them having harbouring some evil intentions. If you try to strike up a conversation with someone you never met, you can easily talk for a good 45 minutes and then part, knowing that there’s more to chat about next time.
Karawara Shopping Center
A few days back, I had this conversation with a cashier at Coles supermarket near my place.
*Kenny places the groceries on the conveyor belt.*
Cashier (some young chinese girl, most probably Australian-born): “Hi how are you?”
K: “I’m good. Looking forward to the weekend.”
C: “Why? Got anything planned?”
K: “Nahh… just gonna relax that’s all.”
C: “Yea me too, weekends are the only time when I can go shopping myself.”
K: “Feels good to be on the other side of the counter, don’t it? Heh.”
C: “Yea, I can never get used to being on the opposite side of the counter”
K: *smiles*
C: *scanning 3 bottles of 2L milk* “That’s a lot of milk there.”
K: “I know. I have trouble producing enough milk myself that’s why.”
C: *laughs* “That’s worrying.”
K: *swipes credit card*
C: “Do you go to the gym?”
K: “In fact I do. How did you know? Do you go to the same gym as I do?”
C: “No, just that you look like someone who goes to the gym.”
K: “How do I look like someone who goes to the gym?”
C: “Well, you have that kind of body shape… People who go to the gym usually have that kind of body shape.”
K: *looks at myself* “Are you trying to say that I look fat?”
C: “Of course not! That kind of body look nice.”
K: “You can say that I look good. I don’t mind.”
C: “Yeah, you look hot!”
K: “Wow. Thanks, I’m flattered. I’ve never heard that from someone I don’t know!”
*Kenny smiles, takes groceries and leaves happily.*
All of the sudden I feel like a supermodel. Like this…
Aussie Bum overlay
That made my day. After so many years of being called ‘fat’ (and other less hostile variations like ‘chubby’, ‘huggable’, ’round’, etc) by almost everyone I know, someone finally recognises my err… perfection. 🙂
And that’s the reason why I like Perth. Where else in the world can you find a supermarket cashier who scans your groceries, and then tells you that you’re hot? is 1 month old! was officially registered at 12:05am on the 1st January 2005 (Kuching time). Yes, when everyone else was in town doing countdowns and celebrating the new year, I was sitting in front of my computer. Since 2004 is a year I’d rather forget, I figured 2005 should be a time to start something new. Hence, the new site.
On the 4th January, after sorting out all the technical bits and pieces, I installed Movable Type 3.14 and published the first entry on my blog, thus officially starting On the 16th January, I added some sponsored links on my blog, hoping to earn extra cash to cover the cost of the blog. Thus far, I have earned a grand total of *drum rolls*5 US CENTS. Thank you for your overwhelming support, guys!
I started this site on impulse and without putting much thought into what I want out of it. The way it stands right now, it looks like a rojak of things I have done in the past, things I am doing now, things that are fun and unusual, as well as an odd social commentary piece every now and then. Readership has been slowly increasing since I started.
Here are the 5 most popular entries in’s first month, according to the number of visits to the permalink of that entry.

  1. January 28 – Jenna Jameson’s “Moan Tone”
  2. January 24 – Letter of Resignation
  3. January 23 – The day I knew my father contracted cancer
  4. January 30 – I feel like swallowing myself
  5. January 25 – What happened when I tendered my resignation

Top 5 search key phrase from search engines:

  1. "jenna jameson moan tones"
  2. "tara reid in ralph mag"
  3. "lx700 mx1000 mouse receiver "
  4. "drinking beer birthday cards "
  5. "grappa kuching"

Jenna Jameson topped both lists? That’s ridiculous! Proves how many hornbags out there are downloading my moan tones. Geez.
Regardless, here are my personal favourite entries from’s first month:

One of my favourite things to do each day was to look at my website statistics. It shows visitors from different countries that visited my site. Obviously Australia and Malaysia should dominate the list, since that’s where most of my friends are at, but there are a few surprising ones…
Well that’s it, I’d like to thank everyone for visiting my blog! Its nothing much – just a small piece of my life, but I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Updating this blog sure helps me get through the one month that I have stayed at home alone, with no one else to keep my company except my computer.
CS Cowboy
How shall I celebrate this momentous occasion? Why, with a few bottles of alcohol of course!
Dear blog, we have our ups and downs, and we have been through a lot together. Yet, this is just the beginning of a long long journey. 🙂 Have a bottle of Cocksucking Cowboy, mate. Cheers!

Life as a Fugitive

Today, my blog was discovered by my brother. He googled my name and found out my site.
Not good.
What I get later is a 30 minute rant disguised as a friendly advice, littered with words like ‘privacy’ and ‘family’ and ‘competitors’.
For those who do not understand what the fuss is all about, my family is a high profile family in Kuching trying to keep a low profile. Obviously they do not appreciate being thrown into the public limelight.
Although I started based on impulsive decision, I did think through possible consequences of putting myself on the online realm. I figured if people want to know what I look like, all they need to do is search for my name in Friendster and that sepia photo of me striking a pose will pop up. That’s provided they know my name. Why go through all the measures of “hiding” yourself like a fugitive. If people are smart enough, they can get any piece of information they want by any means necessary. Even high profile entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs (Macintosh) or John Carmack (iD Software) keep blogs.
In terms of respecting the family’s privacy, I took measures. I never mentioned the names of my family members, and I never mentioned the name of family business. So in case anyone googled, say, my father’s name, my blog won’t show up. Sure, if people googled “Kenny”, this blog would pop up. Then again, that’s provided they know my name in the first place. Even so, what I wrote here are things that I am happy to share with anyone. I am not ashamed of what I write, including the crude ones like the UCB Condom experiments and the Moan Tone. I tell crude jokes all the time, and if people want to judge me for that so be it.
Heck, I didn’t even put Nicole’s picture up on my blog because she requested not to.
I would like to think that I have control of my own privacy. I would like to think that I have control on how much or how little I want to tell people. For example, I will not tell people the size of my penis (its gigantic btw). I would never reveal any company secrets. I would never reveal my home address or anyone’s phone numbers. Try going to and query my site – you get nothing.
I would like to also think that I respect other people’s privacy. I will never put up unflattering photos of people without first seeking permission. I am not ashamed of putting my father’s picture up, because I am not ashamed to be known as his son.
Right now, my parents do not know about the existence of this blog. One thing for sure, if they knew, this blog is going down. So below are the counter measures I have thought through to protect this site.

  • Deny all Malaysian IP visitors to this site. Sorry everyone! Obviously not, 90% of my friends are in Malaysia.
  • Block my site off Google permanently. Allow no search engine to crawl my site. Therefore losing the ability to gain new visitors.
  • Bask in the limelight of Google, but use a pseudonym instead of my real name. So instead of being known as Kenny, I shall be known as Kenny Sim. 🙂
  • Stop blogging about my personal life, and start blogging about some mundane things instead, like book reviews. It will be like Mum-Mum, but for books. And the web address will be changed to Watch, as my readership free fall.

This is bloody ridiculous. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it naturally when the time comes. Meanwhile, if you do happen to log onto one day and find that it no longer exist – you know what happened, and I apologise in advance.

What happened when I tendered my resignation

With my heavy heart pounding, I handed in my letter of resignation today to my two bosses. I never knew it could be so difficult. Handing over a letter to resign from a job you love so much is much more difficult than handing over a love letter to your high school crush.

I can see it from their reaction. Gary’s first word out of his mouth was "What?", followed by a long "Noooooooo!". I have only worked with him for almost a year, but he has rewarded me with so much. It is clear that he has long term plans for me to stay with the company. I felt bad for leaving them just when the company is gaining momentum and rapidly expanding.

Julie’s reaction is totally unexpected. Bear in mind that Julie used to be a teacher, so even at work she would behave like one. Remember that teacher you had back at school who would throw sarcastic insults at you when you didn’t do your work well? Well, Julie is that kind of a boss. What happened today was one of the very few times I saw her softer side.

Julie lost her father to cancer some years ago. As she read my letter of resignation, she started to brush droplets of tears off her eyes. Its a difficult thing to watch, because I have absolutely no intentions of upsetting her. I apologised to her for leaving. She comforted me, saying that the door is always open if I do decide to return to Perth. After a while, she left the room. I found her in front of the tissue box heavily sobbing. My heart melted. Obviously I had unintentionally reminded her of her father. With trembling voice, Julie said to me that she totally understand why I had to leave – she’s been through the same thing. When her father was sick, she used to stay at her father’s place every single night until he passed away. She told me that everyone at Spectra will miss me and I promised that I will keep her updated after I return to Kuching.

Back on , I am simply amazed by the outpour of well wishers after I posted my previous two entries. Its nice to know that I am not out of my mind making such a major decision. I hope I don’t dampen the mood of this blog too much. If you have read my previous entries you would have realised that I am trying to keep things positive here. Staying positive might just make going through this ordeal a little bit easier for me.

Which is exactly the reason why for my next entry, I will stop writing about all these things and start writing about that one elusive thing so wonderful and so special it makes everyone, male and female, happy. Have a nice guess what it is, and stay tuned. 🙂

Letter of Resignation

Letter of Resignation to Spectra Engineering
This is it. This is the point of no return.

January 25, 2005
Dear Gary and Julie Jacobs:
Re: Resignation as Software Engineer
It is with great sorrow that I hereby tender my resignation to you. I wish to inform you that my last date of employment will be Friday, 25th February 2005.
I had hoped that this would come under more favourable circumstances. Unfortunately, my father is battling Stage IV kidney cancer. As one of his two sons, I feel that it is my obligation to be by his side. I have carefully thought this over, and decided that it is best for me to move back to my hometown in Malaysia where I can be with him.
I appreciate having the opportunity of being a member of Spectra Engineering. It is my first formal job out of University and I am proud to say that it has brought out the best in me. To say that I have learnt a lot here is an understatement. When the time comes, it will be very difficult for me to leave this big family. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience working here, and I hope that the feeling is mutual.
I should have plenty of time to complete my ongoing projects, and turn over the position to my replacement. I will also discuss with you personally to plan a smooth and seamless transition.
I look forward to being able to work with you once again.
Till then, I wish your company continued success.
Yours Sincerely,
Software Engineer

I am leaving my comfortable RM9000 a month job, my group of friends in this wonderful city called Perth, and above all else my beautiful girlfriend… to go back to Kuching. Someone please tell me I’m not insane.

Feedback from “Think Happy Thoughts”

I’m pleasantly surprised by the response I’ve had so far. I’m referring to my previous post where I encouraged people to blog about things that make them happy, simply because there’s so much negativity at the moment.
Thus far, I had three responses. Count them, THREE. Holy Wow. That’s like three times more responses than I expected!
Without visualizing me standing on the podium receiving my Oscar Award, here goes….
Naomi's Blog
Thank you sweet Naomi. No, I can’t complain about your dog. Makes me wanna jump in the shower and dry myself off with it.
Kimberley's Blog
Thanks for publicly advertising my site, witty Kimmik. You successfully kicked off a campaign that made everyone wondering “Who’s this hot Kenny that she’s talking about?”. Boy, can you imagine how disappointed they are when they found out how I look. Seriously though, I swear there’s more people visiting my site because they clicked on the links off your xanga than there are people visiting my site because they actually know me. You’re already like CNN even before you become a journalist.
IngHui's Blog
The most unexpected response I have received is actually from a very sassy girl from Miri called IngHui. I’ve only heard about IngHui through Kim and Irene. Her sense of humour shows in her writing, and that makes her entries a great read in the morning to start off my day. Thanks IngHui, and I sure am glad you’re back.
Life sucks, we know that. But at least there’s blogs to write and blogs to read. Ultimately though, web logs are our thoughts for us to keep. Others may read it if they like or leave it if they don’t. 10 years later, we want to read back at our entries and realised that life was not as gloomy as we made it out to be. No matter how bad things seem to be, there’s always little things that makes you go “Gee, I feel so glad to be alive.”
Last Saturday, I had a men’s night out. With Nicole away in KL, David’s fiancee working evening shift and Jacky‘s errr… crush still with her bf, the three of us decided to head to town for some drinks. I’m not keen on going to Mustang Bar, which is our usual pub, so we decided to head down to this new place called The Monkey Bar in Perth’s commercial district. Off we went wearing our nice collared shirt, smart jeans and good shoes.
Heavy Metal Fans
The unusual thing that evening was that amid the well dressed rich businesspeople from the surrounding pubs, there are groups of obvious heavy metal fans dressed in their black goth Marilyn-Manson like outfit, complete with heavy silver chains and jewellery. Considering that its such a warm evening to be dressed in black, I salute them for their commitment to their subculture.
We arrived at the Monkey Bar, the bouncer gave us a weird look and let us in. What did we see?
Club full of Heavy Metal Fans


All dressed in black and looked like they’re ready to devour our pity little souls. We felt so totally out of place. In our unsuccessful quest for good music and good alcohol, we visited HELL.
Rise Ibiza Beach Party
We ran for our lives. Luckily for us, our night ended in The Rise Dance Club where there’s an Ibiza Beach Party going on. That means plenty of girls in bikini (and plenty of wardrobe malfunctions as well) ;). Ahhhhh… You can say that we’ve been through hell and found heaven in the end!

Selling off everything

Short update today.
Finally I managed to haul my ass back to the gym after a 2 months hiatus. In 2 months I had manged to gain back all the weight I’ve lost and I’m back to square one. How sad.
Nicole has possession of my digital camera. That means I’ll be using old photos / camera phone photos / no photos at all to update my blog. 🙁
I finally updated the About Me page. Talk about procrastination. I still managed to get all mushy and poetic about it though. 😉
I’m desperately trying to sell as many of my stuff as possible. In fact I’ve got many items up for grabs on My eBay. That’s not including the bigger and heavier items like many of my house furniture. I still have to sell off two sets of living room furniture, two sets of dining room furniture, three TV racks, three sets of TV of various sizes, five desks, two bookshelves, two gas lift chairs, and two cars. So those of you in Perth, please help me spread the good word.

Saturday Night in Kuching

Hmmm… That lasy entry was kinda weird. My apologies. I more or less wrote it under the influence of alcohol last night. It was totally unplanned. Nicole and I happened to be in town, and we decided to check out the Saturday night crowd in Kuching pubs.
This is the Grappa signage I happened to pass by on our way to SoHo:
Grappa sign proper
Once in SoHo, we bumped into Kenneth. Kenneth is a very nice guy from Penang. We met him once before through Averil and friends, and he’s been very friendly to us since, often buying us drinks. He’s a heavy drinker himself. A bottle of Chivas costs RM240 in SoHo, and Kenneth would drink almost a bottle a night, for four nights straight.
It didn’t take long for more people we knew to arrive. Averil and Faith are Nicole’s close pals from her TAR College days, and Anna is a common friend of theirs. David, who is a pilot for MAS, soon joined us. Luckily he didn’t drink too much, or else I wouldn’t be taking another MAS flight ever again. From left to right, that’s Kenneth, Anna, Averil and David.
Kenneth, Anna, Averil, David
We hung around till about 12, and Nicole and I decided to call it a night. By then I had about 8 glasses of Chivas with coke/green tea. We passed by the Grappa signage again, and this is what it looked like to me:
Grappa sign blur
Heh. Anyway, I just sent Nicole off to the airport today. She’s flying back to KL. As for me, I’ll be leaving for Perth in 2 hours time. It won’t be life as usual for me by then, as I would be selling off everything there and return to Kuching for good by March.
Until then, Kuching. Goodbye.

Welcome to!

Hello readers and welcome to My name is er… Kenny. This site will serve as my blog, as well as a point of communication between me and my friends.
I would like to think of myself as a normal boy born in a normal family leading a normal life. But if the life I’m living is normal, I shudder to think what is special and out-of-the-ordinary.
I am starting when I am faced with one of the most difficult period in my life. In the coming days, I shall be exploring the inner workings of my mind, and begin the journey of re-discovering myself. So please bookmark my blog, and find out why routine isn’t exactly normal.