Happy Chinese New Year, and Happy Valentine’s Day.
I’m gonna celebrate this double-whammy special a little different this year by disappearing for a few days to do my own things and plan for the year ahead. Before I leave, here’s a little goldie from my Twitter a few days ago when I asked a question, and @euveng replied.
“If Chinese New Year + Hari Raya = ‘Gong Xi Raya’, then what do we say on Chinese New Year + Valentine’s Day?”
Gong Xi Fuck Cai.
I had been wearing glasses for about 15 years.
I suffered from a myopia of –6.00 on both eyes. It all started back when I was in Primary 5. Even though I had awesome vision back then, I thought wearing glasses was damn cool.
Because a couple of my classmates wore glasses, I actually felt left out due to the fact that they had four eyes, and I only had two. What the heck, right?
It’s because of this jealousy I had that I did something very stupid thing. For days afterwards, against my mom’s advice, I deliberately did all I could to destroy my perfect vision.
Sat in front of the TV as close as possible.
Read books while laying on bed in a dark room.
Wear my dad’s funny glasses that make me look like Harry Potter.
Eventually, my vision deteriorated to the point that my mom had no choice but to send me to the optometrist.
I had to start glasses. My mom was disappointed. I was overjoyed. Until puberty hits and I began taking interest in girls.
It was then that I realise wearing glasses does not make me look cool. Glasses make me look like a nerd. Unless your last name is “Gates” or “Jobs”, no girls would be impressed going out with a nerd.
So I started wearing contact lenses. But even that brought about its own set of problems.
The problems with wearing contact lens is the same with wearing bras: I can’t swim with them on, I kept having to remember bringing them along for travel, and I gotta buy a new pair every few months.
This is what I did when I forgot to pack my contact lens case on my trip to Bali.
I used bottle caps.
Anyway, now that I am running around a fitness centre, I find it even more inconvenient to wear either contacts or glasses. I hated wearing glasses so much that it motivated me enough to seek that One Solution To End All Problems.
Laser Eye Surgery.
To be honest, I’ve been thinking about doing laser eye surgery for a long time. The only reasons I hadn’t gone ahead earlier were the same as everyone else.
1) I thought it might be expensive.
2) I thought it’s dangerous.
3) I thought if the doctor isn’t careful, I might end up with eyes like The Terminator.
With the advancement of technology, all these are of course, exaggerated concerns.
These days, it’s possible to get laser eye surgery done in many parts of Malaysia, including Kuching. One of the country’s best-known eye specialist centre, Optimax, has a branch here and it is located near the Simpang Tiga flyover.
This is where I had my pre-surgery consultation done.
Optimax contacted me to fill the role as their ambassador. I gladly agreed after ensuring their reputation is solid.
They have experts doing the check-up and consultation in Kuching. Their doctors fly in here from KL on a scheduled basis to perform the actual surgery.
In KL, some patients even had their eye examination and treatment done on the same day. In a way its save up more time and patients do not have to lay off lenses for so long.
This is my lovely consultant, Ding. According to Ding (“AccorDing?”), there are different types of laser eye surgery.
The cheapest and most common one is LASIK surgery, which cost around RM1,500 per eye. Next step up is EpiLASIK, which does not use sharp blades to cut open the cornea. The most advanced form of is Custom All-Laser LASIK, which cost around RM3,000 to RM3,500 per eye, but utilizes the safest and most precise equipment ever brought into Malaysia.
Before I went for my eye check-up, Ding told me not to wear contact lenses for 3 weeks. So for 3 weeks, I was the nerdiest-looking gym owner in the history of Kuching.
She went ahead and did some weird eye tests on me: flashing alphabets on the wall and asking me to speak “ABC” as if I was back in kindergarten.
Next, she asked me to put my head into this bizarre-looking machine.
That machine looks like it’s gonna hypnotize me and make me do the Jai Ho dance. Naked.
Funny thing is, I complied.
Kinda disappointed that all it does is showing scan my eyeball.
Ding proceeded to perform more tests on my eyes.
“Gimme all your cash. NOW!”
“Here, let me take a look at the cleanliness your eye… OH MY GOD!”
At one point, she dripped some anaesthetic into my eyes, which felt funny. Then she dripped something to dilate my pupil.
My eyeball dilated so big until it became like this.
Kidding.
But the effect did last for so long that I wasn’t able to read small printed words till the next day. The good news was that my eyes were all good for laser eye surgery. I was about to get a new pair of eyes!
My laser eye surgery was scheduled to be on the following week. As you perhaps may have noticed, the surgery was a success and Kenny Sia lived to tell the tale.
I’m gonna talk about my experience inside the operating theatre on my next blog entry. Suffice to say, it wasn’t really THAT bad.
All I ended up was looking like this.
X_X
O HAI!
Unfortunately, it seems like I have updating this blog from once a day, to once every two days, to now almost once a week.
Not that I’m lazy, just that I have been way too busy. I am on the move a lot more often now that sitting in front of a computer is such a luxury.
Fret not – I’m always on Twitter.
Dear budding young entrepreneurs.
If you are thinking about starting their own businesses after reading inspiring stories of the rags-to-riches of those like Richard Branson, Bill Gates or even Tony Fernandes – a word of caution. If you think having your own business is as easy as plonking down your money and watching it grow on trees, think again.
When you work for somebody else, maybe it’s okay to slack once in a while. After all, what’s the worst you could lose?
(Your job.)
However, when you’re the captain of your own ship, then it’s a whole different story.
Not only do you have the responsibility of making things happen, you gotta always be one step ahead of competition. That means being ingenious, open-minded, alert and staying determined.
Usually, that translates to many bottles of Brand’s chicken essence to take you through the night.
Take it from me.
Since I started selling memberships one month ago, I have not had a single day off, stopped travelling completely, worked 15 hours a day, slept only 5 hours each day and most importantly – every morning I wake up feeling so very STRESSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-ed.
I guess if that’s what it takes for things it work the way I want it, then I am happy. 🙂
Despite my heavy frame, I’d like to believe that I live a pretty healthy lifestyle.
Not saying that I’m a major health freak lah, but generally I watch my diet, don’t do drugs, never smoked a cigarette in my entire life and take part in sports regularly.
One crazy thing I do is that I wanna complete a 42km marathon every year in a different city. It started three years ago at the KL International Marathon.
Continued running the following year at the Penang Bridge Marathon.
Last year I competed in the Singapore International Marathon.
42km is no small distance. Whenever I tell people that’s the distance I run, the reaction I typically get is a loud “WHAT! FORTY-TWO KILOMETRES!?” and then followed by one of the following remarks.
a) “You crazy ah!?”
b) “Possible meh!?”
c) “Want to die, you know got easier way one right!?”
Running 42km continuously may sound like an impossible feat for a lotta people. But like many things in life, nothing is impossible if you’ve got the discipline. In this case, the discipline required is to train regularly for the 3 months leading up to the event. No slack.
I needed something to work towards so that I can be motivated into exercising regularly and staying healthy. Else, I’ll just be sitting on my lazy ass in front of the computer 16 hours a day.
The reason I do this is because I know it pays to stay healthy. Just like that PRUhealth ad, “rewards you for being healthy, covers you when you’re not”
The problem, however, is that it’s NOT always easy to stay healthy even if I wanna.
My next 42km marathon race is actually happening this coming Sunday. But thanks to illegal fire burning in Indonesia, this is what Kuching city looks like for the past 3 months.
Badly polluted and heavily enveloped in haze.
And if it’s not covered in haze, then it’s like this.
Raining like we’re living in Waterworld.
Because of those reasons, the amount of time I spent training for my marathon is ZERO. And how the hell am I supposed to run 42km with no training without dying? I have no idea.
So, it’s not that I don’t wanna stay healthy. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.
The haze in Kuching was terrible. It was so bad…
…even the Kuching cat statue had to wear a mask. FML.
A Mongolian, a Chinese, a Thai, a Singaporean and a Malaysian (that’s me) walked into a bar in Copenhagen.
After a round of Tiger, the Mongolian, keen to make friends though limited in his English, asked everyone to raise their beer bottles.
Mongolian: Ok everyone, CHEERS!
Everyone: Cheers!
Mongolian: In Mongolia, we say ‘tu loh!’ Ok everyone, say TU LOH!!!
Everyone: Tu loh!
Then the Mongolian turned to the Thai.
Mongolian: How you say ‘cheers’ in Thailand?
Thai: In Thailand, we say ‘chai yo!’
Mongolian: Ok everyone, CHAI YO!!!
Everyone: Chai yo!!!
And then the Mongolian turned to the Chinese.
Mongolian: How you say ‘cheers’ in China?
Chinese: In China, we say ‘gan bei!’
Mongolian: Ok everyone, GAN BEI!!!
Everyone: Gan bei!!!
The Mongolian turned to me.
Mongolian: How you say ‘cheers’ in Malaysia?
Kenny: In Malaysia, we say ‘yyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammm seng!’
At this point, the Mongolian was probably thinking what the hell? Poor Malaysians. By the time they finished shouting, their beer would have turned cold already.
Mongolian: Ok everyone, YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM SENG!!!
Finally, the Mongolian turned to the Singaporean.
Mongolian: How you say ‘cheers’ in Singapore?
Singapore: Same! Same as Malaysia.
Mongolian: Ok everyone, SSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMEEE!!!
Busy working on a secret project = little time to blog = random photo diarrhoea.
I flew into Melaka last weekend to attend the wedding of a friend of mine.
Pierre is the brand manager at Mamee Double-Decker Group and he’s responsible for a lot of campaigns I did for his company over the past couple of years.
I am always gonna be thankful towards him because this guy gave me so many once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that I would never have imagined otherwise. Among some of the most memorable collaborations we did was my acting in a TV Commercial for Mister Potato, my meeting with Jay Chou and most recently our M.P.F.C. trip to Old Trafford Stadium to watch the historic match between Manchester United and Liverpool.
Which is why when he asked me to be one of his “brothers” for his big day, I felt so privileged that I agreed without thinking twice.
Little did I expect the horror that was awaiting us in the form of… BRIDESMAIDS FROM HELL.
In Chinese wedding tradition, it is common for the bridesmaids act as guards for the bride. In order for the groom to prove that his love for the bride is real, these girls, in the name of sick sadistic fun, are tasked with torturing the groom and his “brothers” before they would allow him to see his bride.
As loyal “brothers” for Pierre, of course we are happy to take the bullet for him lah.
Until this happened.
No, this is not what you think it is.
This is the most painful torture ever created since the Qin Dynasty.
See our legs? See their hands on our legs?
That, my friend, is a WAX STRIP.
And this is my leg after the wax strip treatment.
FREAKING PAIN OK.
Somebody call the World Wildlife Fund. There’s a massive deforestation on my leg!
I was so emotionally traumatised that I chickened out of the next torture. LUCKY I DID!
I ask you hor. Where got bridesmaid so creative until they can come up the evil idea of tying a balloon right behind our ass, then asking the brother at the back to pop the balloon of the brother in the front…
… using their crotch!
Look at how much that chick on the left was enjoying herself with all the entertainment that we provide! What the hell! VERY FUNNY MEH!?
Ok lah, actually quite funny. Especially when you are not the one being tortured.
This is Timothy Tiah, my blog advertising agent and one of Malaysia’s leading young entrepreneur.
This is Timothy Tiah, sharing a “Brokeback Mountain” moment with another one of Pierre’s “brothers”.
Damn.
I can never have a brotherly relationship with any one of the guys if I had to go through with the balloon-humping or paper-kissing torture.
So I had a piece of WASABI SANDWICH that literally made my throat go through a nuclear meltdown!
But nevermind. It’s okay! In the name of brotherhood, we, the “brothers” of Pierre Pang shall gladly stand up for our groom!
It is, after all, his big day. And we saw how happy he was to see his bride, suddenly we felt what we went through was all worth it.
After all, he’s the one giving up his bachelor life forever. Heh heh heh.
We have some free time after the morning session, so Timothy, Audrey and I treated ourselves to some Mille Crepe Cake at Nadeje in Melaka Raya.
Mesmerized couple is mesmerized by the 100 Plus.
Pierre and Lay See’s Parisian-themed wedding was very lavish and well-appointed. No expense was spared and nothing but the absolute best food was served.
It’s the Brand Manager’s wedding, so naturally lots of Mister Potato was served during the cocktail reception.
It’s all about branding!
The groom is also a proud Hainanese, so during the wedding dinner, we were served Hainanese chicken rice as part of the menu.
I thought it was a real nice touch, and a good deviation from the usual food they serve during a typical wedding banquet.
Next time I marry, I’m gonna serve Kuching kolo mee, Sarawak laksa and 3-layer Teh-C-special.
Mesmerized couple is mesmerized by Eiffel Tower wedding cake.
The loving couple, the newly weds.
My hormones kicked in again urging me to start dating. Shut up hormones! No time lah, how to date?
The bride and her loving bunch of friends.
The groom and HIS loving bunch of friends.
Doing the classic Chinese wedding tradition, singing “Ai Pia Jia Eh Yia” (Literally, “Be determined and you shall win”) on karaoke.
CHECK OUT THAT OLD MAN IN STRIPED SHIRT!
Sa hun ti chu tia! Chit hun ko pa pia!
AI PIA JIA EH YIAAAA!
Next morning, with residual alcohol from the previous night running through my veins, I decided to have a morning jog around Melaka.
It was such an enjoyable run! The course I took was mostly flat and there were many cool paths along the rivers and waterways that made Melaka such a pleasant place to run in. If somebody can just organize a marathon in Melaka, I’d be the first person to sign up.
Spotted the Tenaga Nasional shop in Melaka. Don’t you find their slogan a bit arrogant?
Suddenly I have this mental image of TNB workers coming in the morning and dancing to “I’ve Got The Power!” *cues electronic music”
Anyway, after my morning exercise, Tim, Audrey and I negated my efforts running 14km earlier by having chicken rice balls for lunch.
Nobody ever instructed me the proper way of eating chicken rice balls, so this is what I did.
I shall call this, Melaka Sushi!
It has been a very hectic past couple of days for me.
A lot of stuff have been happening lately but I’m too tired to put them into a properly structured post. For once, this blog post is gonna be all my thoughts jumbled up, in Malaysian rojak style.
I did the 21km category of the KL Marathon last week and completed it within 2 hours 34 minutes. My target was 2 hrs 30 mins.
As much as I’d love to finish the race 4 minutes earlier, the undulating course proved too difficult for my 84kg body to handle.
The final stretch along Lake Gardens was the real stamina killer. It was almost entirely uphill and by the time we reach flatter ground, everyone around me turned into zombies and walked towards the end. It was a depressing sight.
Despite my disappointment not hitting my target, I must admit that I absolutely enjoyed this race. Initially the pollution and haze in the lead-up to the event worried the heck outta me, but everyone thought the weather and temperature that day was perfect. And I agree.
I had the most brilliant playlist on my iPod to accompany me for the race. Listening to this track from Capsule made me felt like Transformer cruising towards the finishing line. On top of that, I was 8 minutes faster than last year and achieved a personal best for 21km.
Can’t wait for my next run. The next challenge is to beat the Shah Alam 22km race in 2 hours 20 minutes.
But before I do that, I’d have to lose weight, desperately.
On the same night, I attended Josiah and Kim‘s fun and classy wedding dinner at The Westin.
Kim Ong was xanga.com/kimfluttersby when I knew of her back five years ago. She didn’t know me then because I didn’t have a blog. But somehow we shared common friends from the same university and someone introduced me to her blog.
Josiah Ng is Malaysia’s Olympic track cyclist.
I also knew of him back in 2004 when I saw him on TV competing at the Athens Olympics. Australian TVs were rooting for their athlete competing in the cycling event, but when I saw a Malaysian in it, I was hooked.
The intensity in his eyes and the power he unleashed on the velodrome made me an instant fan of his. He came second in that race, and I made it a point to watch the cycling event every Olympic Games after that.
These two were complete strangers to me five years ago. Never would I have imagined that I would be attending their wedding dinner some five years later.
Funny how the world works sometimes.
Josiah and Kim’s wedding was an intimate and classy affair. Josiah’s dad was especially popular with the females in the crowd when he advised his son to “not let Kim do all the housework. Remember sometimes you must also cook for her!”
To show off the fact that I ran 21km earlier, this is Josiah asking me to gesture “21” with our fingers.
FAIL.
During the wedding, a strange feeling came over me. And it wasn’t just because Kim’s friends are all pretty darn hot.
But seeing all other happy couples that were there that night, suddenly I felt the urge to start dating again.
It’s been more than 7 months since I declared myself unattached. As much as I enjoy making money and the freedom of moving around solo, the lack of a female companion is really getting to me. Physically, emotionally and errr… hormonally.
I don’t know how many guys out there lead a workaholic lifestyle as hectic as mine is, but I’m very curious to know if anyone can sustain a relationship when you’re required to travel out of town almost every single week and meet new people all the time. How is it possible for the partner to even put up with that?
That’s why I really have a lot of respect for flight attendants.
Because these people fly around the world so much and are constantly surrounded by rich and good-looking people. A lot of them may be single, but many of them still manage to sustain a normal relationship. Some are even married.
How the heck can their partners put up with someone who spends four or five full days a week on the job, in different countries around the world?
Unless they are James Bond lah.
If there’s one thing I learn about girls after all these while, it’s that the female species need a lot of attention. If you wanna give attention to girls, you gotta devote time.
But here’s the kicker.
Once you’re invested all your time, successfully got the girl and officially declare that you are “in a relationship”, suddenly you have to face fights and arguments and all those petty things that woul
d take up even MORE of your time.
Then suddenly you are forced to give up time on your career or hobby. And you find yourself having to spend ALL your time on your girl to make them feel more secure. Because if not then your girlfriend’s girlfriends will say that you are “useless”, “heartless”, “not caring enough” and then advise her to leave you for a better man.
The thing is as I mature, I find time is something so precious that sometimes I feel it’s more productive to spend time on my career or a hobby, than on something as difficult to deal with, intensive and emotionally-draining as… girls.
In other words, to put it in business terms, spending time on girls does not generate a very good R.O.I.
You put a lot of time, money and effort into a relationship, but sometimes get very little in the end.
Is there something wrong with me thinking that way?
Wow, one whole blog post about chicks.
Something is definitely wrong with me.
Aiya. Maybe I just need the type of girl who doesn’t require attention, only required to meet up once a week and can simply abandon anytime when my job gets the better of me.
Does this species of female exist?
And please don’t say for 500 Baht an hour in Bangkok.
This is a true story that took place at my friendly neighbourhood pirated DVD shop.
Kenny: Eh boss, you got Blu-Ray discs or not?
Boss: Got! Got! Got new stock today also. Wait har, I get it for you.
The shopkeeper disappeared through the curtains behind the store and re-emerged with a big black plastic bag.
Boss: Nah which one you want? Buy 4 get 1 free. Got Chinese, Japanese, American, Thailand, Korean…
Kenny: Boss, I said Blu-Ray… NOT BLUE FILM!
