Useless Tourism Award

From time to time, people overseas and from other parts of Malaysia e-mailed me asking, “Hi Kenny. Big fan of blog. I’m visiting Kuching soon. What is there to do in Kuching?”

The first few times, I was happy enough to reply them individually. After 500 e-mails or so asking me different questions, it begins to get frustrating. Next time I get asked what’s there to do in Kuching, I’m gonna ask them to use what the Internet was invented for.
Then again, I guess it’s somehow understandable why so few people trusted the information given out by the Tourism Board. Quite often, what the Tourism Board recommends to tourists is VERY DIFFERENT from what a local boy would recommend to tourists.

Like recently, the Tourism Board held a major Awards ceremony to recognise outstanding tourism players in Sarawak. It’s all fine and dandy, rewarding fine talented people and all. But what I don’t understand is, why is there an award for BEST TOILET OPERATOR IN SARAWAK, but no award for BEST KOLO MEE STALL IN SARAWAK!?
Seriously! What stupid purpose does having an award for Best Toilet Operator actually serve? What are these people thinking?

Best Public Toilet Ever.

Do they think that if a tourist wanna go to the loo, they would rush to the nearest public toilet, only to find out “Oh shit! This is not by the Best Toilet Operator! How now!?”, then run around the whole of Sarawak holding their crotch looking for toilets operated by the Best Toilet Operator in Sarawak to pee at?

Of course not!
The average tourist couldn’t care less about which public toilet is the best. Everyone knows the best toilets are the ones in 5-star hotels and restaurants. And maybe those glitzy ones they have in KL that auto-clean itself and wipe your butt for you when you’re done doing business.
Actually I’m not sure about the wiping your ass part. At RM400K a piece, they ought to be able to do that.
The average tourist wanna know where the BEST LOCAL FOOD is at. They wanna EAT the stuff locals EAT. And ONLY a local can tell them where the best kolo mee and where the best laksa is at. The Tourism Board couldn’t tell that. Either that, or they don’t promote to tourists the good eateries located outside the main tourism belt.

Which is why as a local boy in support for Visit Malaysia Year 2007, is gonna do its part promoting Kuching tourism. It may not mean much, but I’m gonna give out Awards the Tourism Board had forgotten to give.
Presenting, Kuching Food Awards!

Unfortunately, in typical Malaysian fashion, “due to unforeseen circumstances”, the list is still being finalised . (Actually I just ran out of time to blog lah.)
So that’s coming up… in the next update. 😉

Finally, it has happened.
The grandfather of Malaysian political blogs Jeff Ooi has been sued by the New Straits Times. This marks the first time EVER a blogger in Malaysia has been sued over the content written on his blog. Unlike our friends in Singapore, Jeff Ooi ain’t a small fry like that A*Star scholar and those two racist idiots.
If NST has their way, the blogging climate in Malaysia could be changed, maybe forever. This is gonna get interesting.

98 Replies to “Useless Tourism Award”

  1. i jus had my kolo mee this morning =)
    and yes.. tourism board not doing enough, some hosting the higher post in tourism board dont even knw how is longhouse looks like.. wad a shame =(

  2. “due to unforeseen circumstances”???! BAH, just when I thought something good is coming, I’ll wait. The tourist holding his crotch with eyes bulging had me in stiches hehe.

  3. Emm…. Somebody is trying very hard to promote the Samsung Mobile he recently got for free hor…. Realistic person, cin khiang cho lang.

  4. Kenny..dont make me crave for Kolo Mee ..
    I have been deprived from kolo Mee since the last 6 months!!!!
    Sometimes, or most of the times, Blogging community serve better purpose in promoting someting such as tourism…

  5. Woot, cannot wait for your next post, Kenny. Want to know the best for all food in Kuching.. Though I might not go there for a long time..

  6. I feel the same too after asked by some friends and collegues. So “pai seh” – shameful that the holiday spots review are actually written by tourists who visitted them.
    So I started my own travel related site to support local spots.

  7. Kolomee might not be halal but then ah, there r oso kolomee made by our Malayu friend wa. Neh, like one kedai makan next to Satok’s Mayban, nice wa.

  8. There’s alot of other stuff that STB fail to highlight. My friends from overseas also emailed me to asked what’s the city could offer and stuff. But then again even the Kuchingites or the us Sarawakian also sometimes we do not know some of things that Sarawak/Kuching actually can offer. There is a need for that too….God Bless Kuching!!!!!

  9. Kenny
    Don’t promote Kuching only. As a Sarawakian, you should instead promote the whole Sarawak. The whole Sarawak is nearly the size of peninsular….

  10. no need to say, ur best kolo mee award is for KY CAFE larrrr….
    kolo mee in kl can be found at the wai sek kai in kuchai lama and other random places like pj ming tien wai sek kai also. go look for it lar, lazy bums.

  11. chelseaaa!!! 😉 😉 the pic of the poor tourist clutching his crotch is too funny!!!his eyes,lmao!you’re so right about the visit msia nonsense..

  12. LOLZ… I’m getting married to a Kuching boy and the wedding is in Kuching. Having answered many silly question like “do you live on the tree/long houses?” “Do they have roads or we have to travel in 4 wheel drive?”
    This feller broke the record… “What is the exchange rate?”
    He was darn serious, ok! He repeated his question 3 times begging for an answer.

  13. That was ME you snapped peeing at the fence, you idiot!
    I’m going to sue you for defamation.
    hahahaha (a little cynical gallows humour for the day. No offence to jeffooi and rockysbru. Say how we can assist you, and I’ll be there mateys!!)

  14. well..malaysia just love this kind of award..
    after the tandas berkualiti and hidup berkualiti advertisement and now they come with this kind of idea !!
    =) but at least we dare to be different and show to people how different we are !!
    yeah..kolo mee is the best !

  15. Because Malaysia has ZERO amount of clean toilets.
    So they gave this award in hopes that tourists will come and snap photos of this Best Toilet Operator and proceed to tell their countrymen all about the toilets here.
    Ignoring that Japan and Hong Kong has better toilets than us.
    And ignoring that we have a bad reputation of barging into a married couple’s room in the middle of the night.
    Yes, forget ALL THAT and focus on the place for ten minute sessions of shitting.

  16. Wow. Your fans are super fast. Anyways , I too noticed that you’re celebrating a mere 50 milimetres of manhood? That’s like 5 cm on the ruler. Isn’t that the size of an ikan bilis?
    😀 Tell me it was a mistake!

  17. you are so funny la kenny. i do agree with your point of view. there is no point highlighting the best toilet instead of the best mee kolo, or any other local food available in any place.

  18. Yes, you are right, no use having toilet awards like SG when you dont even get a chance to know the local food. Anyways, cheers to Kolo Mee and Laksa of Sarawak, as it is irresistable everytime I visit Kuching..

  19. Oh hey, I just noticed.. you “albino-fied” your other “ang mo” self. Not bad huh you’re really detailed. I like it =)

  20. Hi Kenny, nice blog you have here. If i can help you to advise people on what to do in Kuching.. Then this is my point of view.
    1- For Jungle Warrior.
    Spend time in national Parks:
    * Bako (basic): Stay overnight there if you don’t want to rush. Don’t expect to see that much Wildlife, but enjoy the walk and the feeling of being lost in the jungle. If you do only one track , you have to go to the beach. Forget about the waterfall, nothing much to see.
    * Matang (advanced): Be carreful not to get lost. Went there and got a big fear of not finding my way back.. + a leech found in love with my ankle… Errk. If you dream of going to get lost in the middle of the jungle and find your way with a GPS.. This is the place to be
    * Semmangoh & Crocodile park ():
    really if you are found of Zoo-like stuff. Personnaly didn’t enjoy that much. But that made a good effect on your friend to show picture of Crocodile & Orang Utan.
    2- For nightbird.
    One concept you have to integrate when u come outside MY is the lady night days.. Big days to go out in Kuching are Wednesday & Friday. Don’t expect much people out of these days. Several pubs to stay, mainly next to the Hilton street or the Cat statue roundabout (a little bit more posh). If you have only 2 bars to visit, visit bar Zing & Grappa on those day.
    Couple of time i also got drunk and got send to other kind of place (more like disco & Karaoke), of course i will not tell you that kind of people you can meet there are lawful citizen, so don’t hang that much in those kind of place underground pubs is quite a thrilling experience.
    3- For Business men (wath i would call the rich & lazy plan)
    If your are lucky enought to be send by your
    corporation for long term contract with good allowance:
    Book in Summerset, i shared a very good flat with all commodity, Wifi, very friendly staff, a dwarf swimming pool on the top of the building, but the best view of Kuching you can have.
    If you feel exhausted by your week, shop a while in the Tun Junga or Sarawak Plaza, take a walk at the WaterFront, and stop for to drink (try Sour sop) or eat (try Laksa Sarawak or Kolo mee), if you feel u want to see something else from your condo. go further toward the old mosque to get lost in the crowed & see marketplace. If you really have money to spend go at Hilton Merdeka Palace to loose your bucks.. I have Merdeka is little better since they had a good live band when i was there.
    To be IT related staff take a cab & go in Wisma Sabakas.
    5- For Social
    Don’t be scared to meet Local, there are mostly very friendly and honnest. One psychose tourist commonly have when they come to a country, is to be cheated. Ok i’m not saying everybody in Kuching is an angel, but frankly speaking i never see a place where you are that much welcome. It is easy to talk with someone and i didn’t meet many “casual friend” like i saw in other country (i mean people who meet you by interest.)
    Only problem i had when i was in Kuching is one Mat Rempit tried to steal my laptop when heading back to my hotel. But unfortunatly for him his motorbike didn’t have enought horse power to perform this.. Nothing serious if i compare with the issue i had in Moscow, Mexico or worst than all Congo or even my home country…
    If you have the social fiber (and even if you have not much), there are chance that local will offer to bring you to their “Kampung” (village), if this happen, don’t think too much and hit the road, i had the opportunity to spend 2 days in an Iban village, collecting rambutan & sleeping in a longhouse.. Also saw Malay & Bidayu village.
    Eventhough i couldn’t communicate Wahoo.. It was a funny unforgatable experience that changed me a little from my IT.. best souvenir is when doing out of tracks stuff..
    If you are lucky enought see “Miss Kampung”
    In all case, don’t forget to enjoy the calm and friendship of this city (eventually go to Damai).
    Only regrets of my ten month spent in KC :
    -> I was to lazy to learn Bahasa.
    -> I couldn’t extend my stay.
    -> I’m scared Kuching is starting to changing a lot with the economic groth and that this wonderland will never collapse.

  21. Yes, Malaysia is the Food Haven, not Toilet haven
    We should be talking about how good/where to find good food,not sum place where stuff goes out instead of going in ur body!

  22. Gee, now tat’s wut i’m interested in ^ ^ Keep covering more of these huh~ (my mama wan me keep fit, can’t really go test around much lately >_

  23. Hi Kenny,
    I’m from Paris born in Kuching.
    It really warms me to see the every day of kuchingites especially at this time of season here.
    Continue your good works and bravo!

  24. Hey sarah does it matter which organization is giving out the award? Feels the same to me….Malaysia apa pun boleh~

  25. hey, kenny! u’ve got to be responsible if one day, my heart might stop pumping due to excessive laughter while reading your blog! haha.. lawak jer… hehe… luv readin ur blog!

  26. man i love ur lil pic details bout the peeing funny.i love ur use of graphic works too.nice editing man. keep it up! i wish i could do such.

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