Author: admin

Pet Names Couples Call Each Other

Valentine’s Day is over, but guess what? I’ve decided to continue with the lovey-dovey theme on Why? Because I enjoy making all my single friends feel like losers, that’s why! *cough*Kim*cough* HAHAHA!
Just kidding of course. Mannnn… I’m mean. Though I shouldn’t really laugh since my valentine is not here with me. Btw, did anyone notice that there seems to be a lot of bloggers out there who openly declared that they are anti-Valentine’s Day?
So, yesterday’s edition of the local newspaper published a special liftout called The Book of Love. Basically its a compilation of lovey-dovey messages that couples leave for each other on Valentine’s Day. A careful read through the book of love revealed…
Messages from couples who enjoyed (endured?) everlasting love.
Everlasting Love
Everlasting Love
Couples who didn’t have it easy.
Difficult Love
Difficult Love
Couples with a good sense of humour.
Funny Valentine
Proof that Valentine’s need not just be a celebration of love between couples.
Non Couple Valentine
Non Couple Valentine
And last but not least, couples with questionable pet names.
Questionable Valentine Names
Questionable Valentine Names
Questionable Valentine Names
Speaking of pet names, I’ve always been fascinated by the pet names couples give each other.
“Darling, honey, baby”… some of the pet names can be quite unoriginal, so its up to the couples themselves to personalize it somehow. I thought it was cute that Izuan became IzzyWizzy in front of his girlfriend.
Nicole and I had our fair share of pet names for each other. Even before we got together, I had called her sweetie and she had called me darling. She thought darling was a bit too common and unoriginal, so she started calling me dahwink and later wink wink.
Ang Ku Kueh
Similarly, I started calling her baby because I thought its more endearing. She liked it and so it stuck. But baby is too common, so I changed the one of the “B” to a “J” an started calling her baji, which sounded like vegie, so sometimes I’d call her Baji-table. Once, I called her Ang Ku Kueh (a red sticky Chinese cake). Later, she came to Perth and befriended Huey Ying, who at the time was studying Spanish. She found it cute that ‘pretty baby’ in Spanish is bebé bonito. So I had to start calling her Bonito
Nicole likes dogs. One day she said she wanted to have a dog, so I said to her “I can be your dog loh!”. And just like that, she started calling me Dog Dog, Doggie and later Woggie.
Our inspiration for new nicknames can come from the weirdest sources. Once we were shopping for clothes for my baby nephew Jayden. She found some from the brand Elle, which I thought was a bit girlish for Jayden. “No,” she said “This one is Elle Poupon, which means its for boys. The girls’ ones are called Elle Petite.” And just like that, I started calling her Petite and she started calling me Poupon. Once after watching Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (great show btw), she started calling herself Sunny, after the baby girl in the movie.
Our friend Candice who had a dog called Bailey. Bailey has this toy ball that Candice would hide and ask him to find. “Toy Toy leh?” Candice would ask. So from then on, I started calling Nicole Toy Toy, which is what I call her until today.
My other friends have better things to call their partners though.
My dear friend Geraldine is famous for many things, one of which is the way she calls David. “HOOOOONNNNNNEEEYYYYYY!!!”, she would scream at the top of her lungs as the tiny hairs on my arm stand up. David has no idea why lovers call each other Honey. “Honey is something you put on your bread. Why not call your lover some other things that you put on your bread? Like ‘Butter’ or ‘Kaya’,…”

Lately, I’ve noticed yet another annoying trend.
Thanks to the song by Alicia Keys and Usher called “My Boo”, a lot, and I mean A LOT of couples are calling each other Boo. What the hell is a Boo? I have absolutely no idea. So I looked up’s definition of the word Boo.

  1. n. A sound uttered to show contempt, scorn, or disapproval.
  2. interj. Used to express contempt, scorn, or disapproval or to frighten or surprise another.
  3. n. Slang Marijuana

Heh. Marijuana? Now I know why they call each other boo. Yes yes… I know boo is also a gangsta slang for boyfriend/girlfriend, but honestly, don’t you think it sounds more like poo than a term of endearment?! Mannnn it gets on my nerves I tell you!
Then again, I shouldn’t really complain. After all my pet name is Woggie.

How about you? What pet names do you give your partner (or your ex-partner)? What are the funniest/wierdest/most memorable pet names you’ve heard couples call each other? Feel free to share, and of course, anonymity is allowed. πŸ™‚

Reflections on Perth – 2002

14 days left.

I’ll try not to say Happy Valentine’s Day, because to some, it can be quite insulting. As a matter of fact, nowadays its considered hip to shun the V Day. So I’ll just do it subtly. πŸ˜‰ Happy Valentine’s Day my baby. You’re far apart but you’re always in my heart. I love you! *muah*

Anyway, here’s another installment of my Reflections on Perth. New readers who have no idea what I’m talking about might want to wander off to the first entry of this memoir.


Kim Jong Il

The year was 2002. George W Bush called Iraq, Iran and North "I’m so ronery" Korea the Axis on Evil (cue Darth Vader’s Theme Song), despite him being nearly choked to death due to an evil pretzel. Brazil won the FIFA World Cup in Japan/Korea. The war in Afghanistan raged on. With the US and Australia doing so much, I feel very "safe". Meanwhile, snipers are randomly killing people in the States. Then on 12th October, car bombs exploded outside popular nightclubs in Bali, killing 202 people, a majority of them Australians.

It has been a year since I got together with Nicole. Over the past year, although we had our ups and downs, everything seems to be pretty ok. I was in Kuching at the end of 2001 during my University break. That’s when Nicole told me that she’s flying to Kuching to visit me. It was a sign that the relationship was ready to be taken to the next level. Previously, our contact was limited to just the internet and the telephone. As anyone who had dated their penpals or had an internet relationship would know, meeting your partner for the first time is a very big thing. Would appearance matter? What if she’s ugly? Scratch that. What if she thinks I’m ugly!? After all, I did put on a whole 15kg since I last sent a photo of myself to her. And besides, I’m the one who choose which photos to send to her. She would think that I look like Legolas when in fact I look more like Samwise Gamgee.

Samwise and Froddo

I was overwhelmed to be meeting Nicole for the first time. I was determind to make a good first impression. So I had my collared shirt, my best jeans, best shoes and a bouquet of yellow roses waiting in the car boot ready to surprise her. We finally met face-to-face at 8am, 3rd December 2001 at the airport. I hugged her, she didn’t hug back, and that’s when I realised that I had accidentally stepped on her feet.

So much for a good first impression.

My mother had her suspicions, but she never knew I was dating Nicole for the past one year. In my family, my father’s attitude towards me has always been a relaxing "you can do whatever you like as long as its not too damaging". My mother, on the other hand, is the Worrier Princess. A typical traditional Chinese mother, she would worry about every single minute detail of every single thing in my life. That’s the reason why I think its a bad idea to tell her that I have been dating some KL girl I have never met, over the internet, who happen to be a year older than me and speaks no Mandarin. As far as she’s concerned, people who chat on the internet are all the À¸À¸‰À¸Γ₯β€Ίβ€Ί bù sän bù sì type (literally: "not 3 not 4". meaning dodgy people).

Genting Trip

Anyway, my mother has the habit of skillfully sneaking up to me innocently when I am, say, watching some VCDs. First, she would talk about some mundane stuff like the aunty she met at the Sunday market, then all of the sudden she would steer the topic towards girls. "Kenny ah! You have to choose the correct girl ah! It will affect your life ah! Bla bla bla bla bla…" So I figured, ok lah! No use hiding about me having a girlfriend anyway. Besides, unlike my first girlfriend, I’m serious about Nicole.

So one evening, I decided to bring Nicole to my place. I approached the front door with her, and my mother opened the door for me. She saw this unfamiliar girl, and I said to her "Mi, this is my girlfriend Nicole." Her jaws dropped, followed by her signature ‘pai-seh smile’. Nicole muttered softly "hi aunty". And then it happened. Right there on the front door, the interrogation started. "Where are you from?" "How old are you?" "What are you studying?" "Which school?" "You cannot speak Mandarin ah?" "What dialect do you speak?" "Bla bla bla…". My poor girlfriend was interrogated for a full fifteen minutes on the front door of my house before she’s even allowed to take off her shoes and come in.

Other than that, everything else went well. My father greeted her with a smile. Before I left for Perth, I stopped over in KL where I met her family. After that, its another five months of long-distance separation maintained by phone calls every evening.

Genting Skyline

These international phone calls don’t come cheap, which is why I had to work again to finance this habit. With ISC out of the way, I finally have a lot of free time to hit the gym and so on. So I started tutoring high school students again. Only this time, I decided to do it big. Canning College is a high school located near my place that’s catered towards international students and local mature-aged students, but obviously I don’t care about that. To me, all I see was $$$. πŸ˜‰ I received a phone call from two girls by the name of Elvina and Charlotte, who coincidentally are both from Kuching as well. And just that, and through word of mouth, I began taking in more and more students. Some come and go, but I took in around 15 students a week at my peak, which translates to a week’s earning of about AUD$200 to AUD$300. That’s pretty handsome for something I did part time.

One of the best things about tutoring students from Canning College is that you get to interact with students from all over the globe on a more personal level. There are a few memorable ones. Apart from a few local Australians, I have tutored Malaysians from small towns like Sibu to big cities like KL, a couple of Singaporeans including one who drives a Boxster 911, a young English soccer player who insisted on going topless and showing off his six-pack during class, a girl from Beijing who always put on heavy make up, an American living in Australia, one very rich Indonesian and his Vietnamese girlfriend, an even richer Italian with his million dollar house by the Cottesloe Beach, and on the opposite side of the spectrum, a Muslim student from Somalia who is very smart yet financially poor.

Sister's wedding

I met up with Nicole again in June. My sister and brother-in-law were getting married and we had a unique two-day wedding reception spanning from Kuching in Sarawak to Bentong in Pahang. Now, Bentong is a very small kampung (village) where everyone knows everyone. The wedding reception was definitely unique to say the least. It was held in a school hall. Apart from the usual yamsengs and all that, the programs for rest of the night was actually filled with karaoke. Mind you, its not just any karaoke. Its karaokes for the UNCLES AND AUNTIES! Seriously, there were aunties the age of my mother who got on the stage and sing! I had to put on my sincerest smile and clap hands when in fact, I feel more like throwing out a one-liner from Simon Cowell. If that’s not enough, someone actually brought a television to the hall and watched Brazil Vs Germany for the World Cup final! Near the end of the night, everyone had forgotten about the bride and groom!

By then, Nicole had already made her decision to study in Perth. Obviously, I was ecstatic. One thing for sure is that I no longer had to spend my money on international calls. And finally, I can at least start having a real relationship instead of all these long distance crap.

Happy Birthday Nicole, from Mead's Mosman Bay

The first thing we did was to sort out her accomodation. We owned our house in Perth. My father usually stayed in Kuching whilst my mother would commute back and forth, usually spending more time in Perth together with my brother and me. I asked permission to have Nicole move in with us.

Bad move.

My mother, being the traditional Chinese mother that she is, had very clear terms about letting Nicole live with us. She is willing to let Nicole stay for free, provided that she helped out with more than her share of the housework and cooking. Nicole was obviously willing to help out. But at the end of the day, she was still a student who have assignments to complete and exams to cram. It didn’t help the fact that she’s new to this country and had virtually no other friends at all.

A typical day for me at the time looks something like this: Wake up, go to uni, go tutoring, go home, hear mom complain about Nic, hear Nic complain about housework, sleep. World War 3 I tell you, with Kenny stuck in the middle of a crossfire of tears, tantrums and torture.

Note to self: Never ever let your girlfriend live with your mother. No matter how nice they are to you, they are never going to be nice to each other.

A Celebration of Love

14th February. Valentine’s Day. Its a day of love, happiness and celebration for florists and restauranteurs.
Oh, and lovers too!
I know some people look forward to this day. Single guys and girls would scoff at the celebration, saying that its all commercialised and stuff. Others would rather just stay at home and drink themselves crazy. I’m actually one of the latter, despite having a girlfriend. For the 4 years that I have been dating Nicole, we are always in different locations on Valentine’s Day every year.
A friend of mine once said, that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be just a celebration of love between a husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend (or boyfriend and boyfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend…). It is a celebration of love, and we all have loved ones – our families, friends, workmates, pets and even our soft toys. It can even be our celebration for someone else’s love. I couldn’t agree more.
Which is why I am dedicating this mushy entry to David and Geraldine. Those who suffer from the incurable disease called mushiphobia may turn away now. *cough*Alli*cough*
Wedding Invitation
A few weeks ago, I opened my mailbox and received this. It came in a pink envelope.

David and Geraldine would be honoured to have you witnessing their Registration of Marriage… before proceeding straightafter to a Coffee and Cake Session as a sign of their heartfelt appreciation for your presence.

Dresscode: Be as PINK as you can.

When I was young, I used to receive invitations to birthday parties. Now I am receiving invitations to registration of marriages. Signs of how old I have become. *sigh*
Dine and Bid (as I like to call them) are from Kuching, and both recently graduated from Curtin University. Geraldine L is 27, and holds a Master’s Degree in Project Management. David N is 28 years old. Before coming to Perth, he used to work as a Malaysian Airlines flight attendant, which makes me snicker everytime I visualise him do that safety-instructions-thing they do on the plane.
Group shot
I used to think that good-looking guys who can cook really nice food are either jerks or gays, unless their first name is Kenny. David is an exception to this rule. I know because I have broken too many diet plans after they invited us to their house for laksa, curry, ice cream, etc. You would think that David is your typical metrosexual, but I know he can’t resist a bottle of ice cold beer. The truth is, he can be a total gentleman to Dine, yet still be able to hang out with his mates and not bitch about women.
On the other hand, Ah Dine plays the role of big sister to everybody. She’s someone I can totally rely on if I ask for an opinion. Usually when we share our difficulties in love to people, many jump and offer us a listening ear enthusiastically. Unfortunately, most just wanted to hear gossip. With Dine, I know I have someone who genuinely cares for me, listens to me and advises me. After all, she’s the first to help me out when she knew my father’s situation.
Dine and David sitting on the bench
During a time when girls were falling for jerks, guys were falling for girls who are attached and couples were complaining about each other, David and Geraldine are having the time of their lives. Although their part time jobs at the restaurant does not pay much, they are perfectly content with what they have, and that’s each other. After 7 years of dating, they still look like they have been dating for 2 weeks – everything they do is together. They even invited Nicole and I to do salsa with them, which is nice, but I decided that salsa is something you eat, not a latin dance only people with disjointed hips can do.
I have always admired couples like Dine and David. They are what I refer to as the perfect couple. Most people would protest, saying that there’s no such thing as a perfect couple. Some would even say loving couples like them make them sick, thanks to too many episodes of romance-hating Sex and the City.
Deep down inside however, I’m sure we are all wanting to be one half of a perfect couple. Getting a partner is one thing. Making it work, to be able to compromise with each other, to be able to give up some degree of personal freedom, to be able to do everything together yet still be able keep ‘the flame’ burning… that’s a whole new different ball game. In the end, everybody just want to be eternally happy with someone they love. And I’m glad they found each other.
David and Geraldine

Annoying Friendster Trends

I had wanted to blog about the recent marriage of two of my closest friends. So I logged on to Friendster to surf their testimonials. Whilst surfing, I saw some pretty girl’s picture I was distracted by someone else’s profile, so I clicked profiles after testimonials and testimonials after profile and…. anyway, needless to say I didn’t end up writing a single word about Geraldine and David’s marriage. πŸ™‚

I haven’t been checking out Friendster much since its craze a few months back. I remembered it used to be much simplier. You have a network of friends that you know. Then, you found out that both you and your friend knew someone else and things like that. Its a fantastic concept, a great conversation starter and I had fun locating my old mates from secondary school and even primary school. My oh my, how things have changed. The whole Friendster culture has evolved out of proportion. Gone are the days of honest testimonials and people in your friends list that you actually know (exchanging messages through Friendster once does not count). Today’s Friendster is overtaken by honest-to-god kiasu people and over-enthusiastic teenage girls.

Here’s the top 5 annoying Friendster trends. Feel free to point out more if you want. Oh, and one more thing – I make no apologies in naming names. πŸ™‚

5. The ASCII Art Testimonials

You know the ones. A friendster testimonial is supposed be someone writing some ass-kissingly nice stuff about the other person. It used to be the best part about Friendster because I get to find out funny things about people I know – like how Huey Mei got so drunk once she locked herself up in her car and crying "I don’t want to die". These days its all about the ASCII arts. These are pictures made up with characters on the keyboard and come to think about it, they are actually very similar to me – ie, they take up a lot of space and they sure look damn ugly.

What puzzles me even further is why would people approve these sort of testimonials? These ASCII arts just bury the sincere and genuine testimonials your real friends gave you deeper and deeper. (What? You mean I have real friends on my Friendster?) Makes you wonder where your priorities lie.

4. The Copy-and-Paste Testimonials

Copy-and-Paste Testimonials

These are just as annoying as the ASCII art testimonials. These are “testimonials” that aren’t really testimonials, but rather some amusing piece someone found elsewhere and decided to just copy and paste it into the person’s testimonial box. Its usually funny the first time you read it. But after surfing a while later, you saw exactly the same testimonial elsewhere!

I did see worse ones. Someone copy and pasted a generic cutesy testimonial like “StAY CuTe AnD BeAuTiFuL, gur|, y0u r0x!”… but they gave it to a guy. And the guy accepted it!

I can’t believe the lack of sincerity in that. If you don’t want to write a testimonial, then don’t write. Or at least write something original lah. Its like when you’re invited to a birthday party of a friend you really hated. Instead of giving him a generic present like a box of cheap $2 chocolates you bought in a rush, just go empty handed, or give him a piece of freshly made shit wrapped in colourful paper – at least that’s original, see?

3. ThE CrOoKEd LeTTeR TyPerS

ThIs oNe is eAsY To sPoT fROm a MiLe aWaY. tHeSe PeOPle hAvE sOMe PaTIeNcE tO bE AbLe tO tYPe tHiS WaY. I sEriOUslY hAVe nO iDEa HoW oR wHY TheY DiD iT. WaS iT suPPoSed tO be cOOl? WaS It suPpOSed tO bE cUtE? My EyEs HuRT wHEn I ReAd iT. WhY cAn’T tHEy JuSt tYpE nORmaL LiKe eVErYoNe eLsE!

I’m ok with crooked letter typers, honestly – in fact, I kinda find the cuteness in it. Unfortunately, sometimes they push their boundaries a little too hard when they write a whole testimonal using crooked letters. It annoyed the hell out of me! Like this testimonial below:

Makes me really want to hit him back sometimes… with my fist.

2. The Beauty Contest Judge

These are dummy Friendster accounts, the purpose of which is to judge regular Friendster users on their looks. If you happen to be good looking enough by their standards, then you receive a… *drum rolls* stupid testimonial telling you that you are good looking. Fascinating stuff. Except the people who operates these accounts usually get bored pretty quickly and let their account wilt and die after a while.

What’s a beauty contest judge doing in Friendster. I have no idea. Why do people add beauty contest judges as friends in Friendster? I have no idea. What’s the beauty contest judge below trying to say? I have no bloody idea.

Name: oO KawaiiPpL Oo

*+*+* Attention to PpL out there *+*+*

We are here to look for ppl whom possesses Kawaii Looks!!!
If you tink you realli possess a Kawaii look,Please feel free to add us.
All Guyz & Gals are welcum…

However,we are veri STRICT in selecting ppl.
So if we dun tink you possess a kawaii look,we will immediately reject you…
If we haf rejected you,Dun add us back again. Get it?!?!
If you wan us to add you back,Plz try to improve on your looks in de pic.

* Criterias to be a [Kawaiian] in here *
( 1 ) You muz be Kawaii enough for us.
( 2 ) You muz attached 2 or more photos for us to view.
( 3 ) Singaporeans preferred though. But if you tink you r realli kawaii,you can try adding us.
( 4 ) Single would be an advantage.

Up to date rejects –> 245 ppl

Please do drop us a testimonial if you [Kawaiians] wan a testimonial from us.
As we are rather busy,we will write one back for you [Kawaiians] asap.
We will rate de testimonials accordingly.

–> Super Kawaii Peep : 10/10
–> Veri Kawaii Peep : 8 to 9/10
–> Quite Kawaii Peep : 6 to 7/10
–> Normal-Looking Peep : 5/10

Every month,we will placed de Top 2 most Kawaii ppl photos here. One Guy & One Girl would be selected by us personally. And both of them would be named ‘Most Kawaii GuY & GaL’.

Sooo…Dun wait liao.
Hurry Up and Add us now!!!!!
We will be waiting for y0u!!!!

Quickly add us at –>

*Kenny desperately tries to improve his Kawaii looks in his Friendster pic*

I have 3 words to say. Make it 4 words, I want to swear. What’s the fucking point? If I happen to become a "Super Kawaii Peep 10/10" by their definition, so what? Got food to eat ah? Besides, I don’t want to be called a Kawaiian. What a bloody stupid name.

1. The "I am so cool because I have 3000 more friends than you" kiasu girl

These are usually 15 year old teenage girls who enjoy collecting friends. Yes, COLLECTING – like they are stamps or something. They would have one Friendster account, fill it up to the maximum 500 "friends", after which they would open another account, and repeat the process until its full again.

This one girl had seven Friendster accounts. SEVEN. That means she has up to 3500 "friends"! Read that, 3500!!! What kind of 15-year-old in JB have the means necessary to have 3500 friends?! I am amazed! I’m struggling to hit 3 digits worth of friends myself dammit! Who are they trying to meet?

“p/s: pls dun send me msgs to add u.. my email is already in my profile.. if wanna add me juz add. i will accept de.. thanks lotz… oh ya.. write me testi oso.. hahahz^^.. tk cr.. byee”

What the?! What the heck is she thinking? The "I have more friends than you so my balls are bigger than yours (except I have none)" mentality! Does the people on her friends list actually know her? I doubt so. So, how the heck are they supposed to write her testimonials!? "Hmmm… I dunno Michelle, but I think she’s very cute and pretty."


CNY 2005 – A Subdued Celebration

The clock struck 12 midnight.
I was still at home alone. I had only just finished publishing my previous entry when I received CNY greetings via SMS from Adrian Wong and Geraldine. I was waiting for my parents and brother to arrive Perth Perth International Airport. My family decided to come to Perth partly because my father wanted to escape from the multitude of CNY visits. He appreciates friends’ and family’s concerns, but he needs his rest more than anything else at the moment.
Happy CNY SMS from Geraldine
Kim logged onto MSN Messenger. I told her that this is the first CNY that I’ll actually give angpow to my parents. Kim was confused, since she thought that its only after we are married that we would have to give angpow to our parents. I’m not too sure myself – my mother had told me that its the tradition to give angpow to our parents once we started working full-time.
Then it hit me. My mother is trying to to con an angpow out of me!!!
I picked the three of them up from the airport around 1:15am. My father has indeed lost more weight – the full cheek and rounded chin are replaced by skinny sinking cheeks. When at home alone, sometimes he would stare into blank space. I am not sure if he is waiting for people to talk to him, if he wanted something to read, or if he just wanted to be alone.
My father's pill box - all the pills for ONE DAY
When I asked him what’s wrong, he said that its a combination of him feeling fatigued after the long plane ride, as well as the reaction from the cocktail of pills he has to take everyday. Its hard to describe how I feel everytime I see my father suffering. But if you can visualise my beating heart being twisted and wringed dry like a wet towel, then you’re pretty close to imagining how I feel.
Ang Pow
My father and I spoke until about 2:30am. When my parents were about to go to bed, I went to their bedroom and presented my angpows to each of them. I gave them A$395 each, which isn’t much compared to what they had given me all these while and what they have prepared for me in the future. I had wanted to give them A$400, but the number ‘4’ is considered bad luck in Chinese – which is why I gave them A$395 instead in red and pink notes. The smile and satisfaction on my father’s face upon receiving the angpow lit up my heart. “Lau liaw loh! (I’m old already!)” my father said with a chuckle.
This morning I woke up to find my father sitting in the living room alone, my brother still sleeping and my mother cleaning the house – ignoring all Chinese superstitions. No one is in CNY mood! I changed into my red shirt to add a slight hint of CNY flavour for the day, bought the morning newspaper for my father to read, and went off to work just like any other day.
CNY Concert Poster
There were no hyperactive little cousins visiting. No noisy Chinese New Year “stars” (note quotation marks) shouting with their incredibly high pitched voices, with their two hands glued together in a “gong xi” pose… “stars” who happen to be unfortunate enough to have pathetic names like “Lung Piao Piao”. We didn’t even play any of those Vengaboys-remixed Chinese New Year songs or another over-synthesised number by the Thai group “China Dolls”.
We had a nice and peaceful delayed reunion dinner with the entire family member present. And that’s the way we like it.
So, how was your Chinese New Year?

Reflections on Perth – 2001 (The Student Leader)

Need I say more? Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! πŸ™‚
Here’s the second half of me reminiscing the good old days of 2001, namely when I was an international student representative. Friends not from Perth will probably find these quite dry and uninteresting, so please bear with me. Friends from Perth can probably relate to what I write, as it is most likely through the ISC that I got to know you.
Being the youngest in my family usually mean that my opinion aren’t entertained by others in the family. Its just one of those things that’s embedded in the traditional Chinese culture – always respect and obey the elders, and never question their decisions. Usually when I suggest to my elder sister, say, a different technique of doing something , her favourite reply would be the standard “Don’t ask questions. Just do what I say.” So I grew up taking orders and doing what other people tell me to do.

When I was elected as the International Student Committee (ISC) Convenor, I knew I was in for a different kind of challenge – the last leadership experience I had before this, was to babysit my little cousins when I was 12 years old.

Student bodies in Australian Universities are very different to those back home. The ISC is totally funded by students, the University has no direct control over its operations, and apart from social and cultural events, and the ISC Convenor together with University management has a role in the operations and directions of the Uni. All these sounded very boring and ‘tua liap’, but the fun comes in when you start meeting and interacting with new people.

I started the year with 7 other students. We organised an orientation trip for the new students and through simple projects like that, we bonded. You might have noticed that 6 out of the 8 of us are girls. For the record, I have tremendous respect for female leaders. From my experiences, I find that most male leaders want to be a leader because its a very big-ball thing to do – they want the power, the important-sounding title, yet they don’t put much heart into what they do. Female leaders tend to display the level of loyalty that’s critical the organisation. They can lead and be led, and their careful attention to detail to the job is something I am very impressed with. My recreation officer Connie handled a traditionally difficult position with relative ease – leading, training and educating many new volunteers during her term. My publication officer Huey Ying is one of the most outstanding, hardworking and relentless individual I have ever came across – she is one of those who put so much heart into her work, that she will not sleep until she gets the task on hand 110% done.
The 4 ISO Presidents of WA in 2001. Kenny (Curtin), Nick Tan (ECU), Steven Han (Murdoch), and Lendon Chong (UWA)
Anyway, after the semester started we recruited a few more volunteers (who also recommended their friends to volunteer for the ISC) which expanded our group from the original 8 person team to 40-plus active volunteers. After that, we built links with the many country/religion-based clubs on campus, and we got to know more students from Curtin. Through NLC WA (state-level student body), we met up with similar student organisations from other WA Universities, got to know even more students. If that’s not enough, around mid-year the NLC (national-level student body) held a conference and we got to know students from all over the country! πŸ™‚

If Friendster existed back then, my friends list would probably cripple the Friendster network. Unfortunately it didn’t, which means I have to settle with less than 100 friends on my list now. πŸ™

It was really great to get to know so many people so quickly. Forget about socialising in pubs and clubs, everyone should join a student association at University! In fact, I know a few people who actually met their current bf or gf that way. *cough*Chrissie*cough*Naomi*cough**cough* :). You can’t blame them though. We’re talking about a group full of young, brash and confident 20 somethings getting together and working through day and night to achieve a common goal.
One of the few perks of being a student leader is that you get to travel a lot. Every now and then there will be a meeting here or a conference there to attend. Being the international student representative from Curtin University, I need to uhh… meet with the decision makers who hold welfare of international students in their hands. πŸ™‚ I got plenty subsidised trips during my time with the ISC. Usually we would attend meetings and boring stuff like that for the first few days. After all that is done, its all fun and games. So far we’ve been to…
Melbourne Skyline
Sydney Harbour Bridge
The Australian Parliament House
Curtin Miri
Even Miri, Sarawak! I was there because Curtin University had just started its offshore campus. The student union in Curtin Bentley is concerned about the quality of services over in Miri, so I was sent on an ‘ambassador mission’ to touch base with the Curtin Sarawak Student Council and then report back to Perth. It was a simple job and it was memorable.
Pasar Malam - Full Moon
Looking back I reckon we did a pretty good job leading ISC. One of the most memorable events happened in the lead up to the Curtin ISC Pasar Malam – our biggest cultural event. The event was held on 12th September 2001. I wasn’t sleeping much at all the night before – I was glued watching the news on the terrorist attacks till 3am. The next morning at 8am I was called into an emergency meeting with the University’s International Office. The first thing that went through my head was that they were going to ask me to cancel the event (!). Of course that didn’t happen. πŸ™‚
Pasar Malam - Celebrations
The Pasar Malam went ahead as planned. After talking to the University we figured that events like this celebrates our differences in culture, which is especially important in the aftermath of 9-11. During the Pasar Malam, there was an American student wearing American flag who approached the mic stand. He made a touching speech about staying strong and pledging tolerance. I later saw him having a chat and getting food from the Muslim Students’ Association stall. And I thought to myself “What the world needs is more people like him.”
New friends and free airplane trips aside, being a student leader is still no easy job. Try juggling assignments and running a student organisation and before you know it, you are occupied 18 hours a day, everyday of the year. I remembered countless times when I called Nicole, only to doze off with her on the other end of a very expensive international call. Sometimes I promised to call her but I didn’t call at all, which is like me tickling Saddam Hussein on the nuts – asking for a major ass-whooping.
Kenny Before and After
Its a good thing she’s not in Perth though. During this period of time I did not have the time to visit the gym at all, and my weight ballooned. I didn’t have time to get new clothes, so imagine a fat Kenny wearing clothes two sizes too small for him and you’ll get the idea.
Ba Zhang
I earned the nickname “Ba Zhang” (glutinous rice dumplings).

Reflections on Perth – 2001 (Nicole)

21 days left.

Tomorrow is the eve of Chinese New Year. One of the traditions of Chinese New Year’s Eve is the “tuan yuan fan” (reunion dinner), where members of the family get together around the dinner table. Its one of the many times I feel thankful and blessed to be part of this family.

Peking Duck

My parents and brother are touching down Perth tomorrow, so we can celebrate CNY as a whole family. Considering the circumstance, this very precious moment is something I am definitely going to cherish.


I would be lying if I say 2001 wasn’t the biggest and best year of my teenage life. In fact its so huge that it will probably be best if I write it in two parts. This is the first part on my reflections on 2001, and details my how my relationship with Nicole started. GFCB (girlfriend censorship board ;)) has given approval to put up pictures of her. So please enjoy the pictures before she changes her mind.


Australian PM John Howard refused permission because he declared that the refugees threw their children overboard.

Anyway, this claim was found to be untrue. The Australian public smartened up and in the next elections, John Howard was voted off.

Oh not wait. What am I talking about? This is Australia! I mean John Howard was RE-ELECTED as the Australian Prime Minister!

September 11th Terrorist Attack

Then on September 11th, two hijacked planes crashed into the twin towers in New York. 3,000 civilians dead. On October 7th, USA, UK, supported by Australia etc invaded Afghanistan hoping to capture Osama bin Ladin. The result – more than 20,000 dead on both sides. Osama bin Ladin must be laughing in his cave. In western countries, racism and negative sentiments against Muslims and Middle-Easterners surged almost immediately. This marked the start of a series of violence between the USA and poor developing nations, consequently changing the world we thought we knew, forever.

Enough world events. This isn’t CNN, this is Kenny’s blog dammit! πŸ™‚ Its all about me Me ME!!!

Nicole and Kenny

My own life-changing event occured around January 2001. Nicole and I were still doing that online-chatroom thing. One evening, she asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend so she could ward off some unwanted guys who were going after her. We agreed to act it out for one month, after which we will just go our separate ways. So we began acting. The first few days were alright, and we talked to each other a lot all in the name of ‘research’ and ‘acting’, sometimes from 10pm till 7am the next morning. This online-chatroom-thing eventually turned into a phone-call-everynight thing. We were flirting with each other alright – we would call each other cutesy little nicknames that if I repeat here, would cause’s readership to drop by 90%. But we weren’t together because we were only acting.

One day before the one month expiry date is up, I suddenly felt this heartache inside me. I thought to myself "Shit! At first acting acting nia, how come now I got feelings for her?" I decided that I was not just going to let it end just like that! Once again I acted on impulse. Since these are all happening on the online chatroom, I figured I got nothing to lose apart from the size of my balls. So that night, I put on my straightest face and confessed my feelings to Nicole.

Tulips of Araluen

I wished I could tell you that beautiful words came out from me sweet like candy, and she was so touched that she cried and said that she secretly loved me all these while. But it didn’t. It came out in a mess. A total mess. Here’s what happened – after confessing my feelings to her, I asked her "Eh, can we don’t pretend to break up or not?". I could sense her pity for me when she replied "Ok lah! :)" when she probably meant "Stupid asshole. What a total failure trying to be romantic lah! You think I really like you ah? Dream on lah! I pity you nia, so I said yes just to make you happy."But I was still happy. Though now come to think about it, I never officially asked her to by my girlfriend. Oops!

This prompts me to question. Does a guy really have to ask a girl to be his girlfriend for it to be ‘official’? Can’t we just act naturally and assume that she is my girlfriend if we were doing everything lovers do? We’re not asking for a marriage proposal after all! I am interested to know how many boyfriends out there, like me, never bothered to pop the question because well… the answer is obvious enough!

The Cashier at Coles

One of the reasons why I love Perth so much, is the people of Perth.
I think Perth people are the friendliest, most laid-back and fun people in the entire world. Whilst there are exceptions, a majority of people in Perth are truly down-to-earth and nice people. Strangers would greet you when you meet them in the park, and you don’t have to be paranoid about them having harbouring some evil intentions. If you try to strike up a conversation with someone you never met, you can easily talk for a good 45 minutes and then part, knowing that there’s more to chat about next time.
Karawara Shopping Center
A few days back, I had this conversation with a cashier at Coles supermarket near my place.
*Kenny places the groceries on the conveyor belt.*
Cashier (some young chinese girl, most probably Australian-born): “Hi how are you?”
K: “I’m good. Looking forward to the weekend.”
C: “Why? Got anything planned?”
K: “Nahh… just gonna relax that’s all.”
C: “Yea me too, weekends are the only time when I can go shopping myself.”
K: “Feels good to be on the other side of the counter, don’t it? Heh.”
C: “Yea, I can never get used to being on the opposite side of the counter”
K: *smiles*
C: *scanning 3 bottles of 2L milk* “That’s a lot of milk there.”
K: “I know. I have trouble producing enough milk myself that’s why.”
C: *laughs* “That’s worrying.”
K: *swipes credit card*
C: “Do you go to the gym?”
K: “In fact I do. How did you know? Do you go to the same gym as I do?”
C: “No, just that you look like someone who goes to the gym.”
K: “How do I look like someone who goes to the gym?”
C: “Well, you have that kind of body shape… People who go to the gym usually have that kind of body shape.”
K: *looks at myself* “Are you trying to say that I look fat?”
C: “Of course not! That kind of body look nice.”
K: “You can say that I look good. I don’t mind.”
C: “Yeah, you look hot!”
K: “Wow. Thanks, I’m flattered. I’ve never heard that from someone I don’t know!”
*Kenny smiles, takes groceries and leaves happily.*
All of the sudden I feel like a supermodel. Like this…
Aussie Bum overlay
That made my day. After so many years of being called ‘fat’ (and other less hostile variations like ‘chubby’, ‘huggable’, ’round’, etc) by almost everyone I know, someone finally recognises my err… perfection. πŸ™‚
And that’s the reason why I like Perth. Where else in the world can you find a supermarket cashier who scans your groceries, and then tells you that you’re hot? is 1 month old! was officially registered at 12:05am on the 1st January 2005 (Kuching time). Yes, when everyone else was in town doing countdowns and celebrating the new year, I was sitting in front of my computer. Since 2004 is a year I’d rather forget, I figured 2005 should be a time to start something new. Hence, the new site.
On the 4th January, after sorting out all the technical bits and pieces, I installed Movable Type 3.14 and published the first entry on my blog, thus officially starting On the 16th January, I added some sponsored links on my blog, hoping to earn extra cash to cover the cost of the blog. Thus far, I have earned a grand total of *drum rolls*5 US CENTS. Thank you for your overwhelming support, guys!
I started this site on impulse and without putting much thought into what I want out of it. The way it stands right now, it looks like a rojak of things I have done in the past, things I am doing now, things that are fun and unusual, as well as an odd social commentary piece every now and then. Readership has been slowly increasing since I started.
Here are the 5 most popular entries in’s first month, according to the number of visits to the permalink of that entry.

  1. January 28 – Jenna Jameson’s “Moan Tone”
  2. January 24 – Letter of Resignation
  3. January 23 – The day I knew my father contracted cancer
  4. January 30 – I feel like swallowing myself
  5. January 25 – What happened when I tendered my resignation

Top 5 search key phrase from search engines:

  1. "jenna jameson moan tones"
  2. "tara reid in ralph mag"
  3. "lx700 mx1000 mouse receiver "
  4. "drinking beer birthday cards "
  5. "grappa kuching"

Jenna Jameson topped both lists? That’s ridiculous! Proves how many hornbags out there are downloading my moan tones. Geez.
Regardless, here are my personal favourite entries from’s first month:

One of my favourite things to do each day was to look at my website statistics. It shows visitors from different countries that visited my site. Obviously Australia and Malaysia should dominate the list, since that’s where most of my friends are at, but there are a few surprising ones…
Well that’s it, I’d like to thank everyone for visiting my blog! Its nothing much – just a small piece of my life, but I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Updating this blog sure helps me get through the one month that I have stayed at home alone, with no one else to keep my company except my computer.
CS Cowboy
How shall I celebrate this momentous occasion? Why, with a few bottles of alcohol of course!
Dear blog, we have our ups and downs, and we have been through a lot together. Yet, this is just the beginning of a long long journey. πŸ™‚ Have a bottle of Cocksucking Cowboy, mate. Cheers!

Cutting Away Depression

This is going to be one helluva graphic entry and its not for the faint hearted. If you can’t stand blood, gore, and filthy images. Please bail out now.

Lately I have been hearing stories of how people (usually girls) cut themselves when they are/were going through bouts of depression. The ‘experts’ call it self-harm, self-injury, or self-abuse, which also includes all sorts of other behaviour that inflict pain and damage serious enough to cause scarring on one’s body. These are usually done to make oneself ‘feel better’.

Cuts on the forearm

I first learnt about cutting when I was really young, probably about 13 or 14 years old. I read in the newspaper how two lesbian lovers from St Teresa’s Secondary School carved each others name on their thighs with a pen knife. My reaction that time, predictably, was "Siao ah!".

I first saw the act of cutting when I watched Annabel Chong’s documentary last year. Annabel Chong, after falling victim to gang rape in London, and after being screwed by 252 men* free of charge in breaking the Guinness Book of Records, we see her as a nervous wreck. (*clarification: 251 who did it physically, plus the one director who screwed her out of the US$12,000 appearance fee, which was supposed to be for her University tuition fees.) I watched, as Annabel Chong used a knife and slitted the anterior of her forearm on camera. "I feel numb. I just wanted to feel… something." she explained.

The act of cutting has often been misunderstood. "They’re doing it just to seek attention lah!"
"They must be crazy to cut themselves."
I doubt cutting is attention-seeking, because most cutters hide their wounds by wearing love sleeve or cut themselves in places not normally seen, like on the thighs. And also, it turns out that cutting isn’t something that only happens to crazy people. Lately, I have known perfectly sane people – people that I know personally – who cuts themselves as a way to cope with stress and depression. One described it as sad, yet beautiful in a way – beautiful because its something she can control, unlike her moods.

Cuts on the leg

I don’t exactly know what triggered their depression and motivated them to cut themselves. Abuse by loved ones in the past is most likely a significant factor. One theory was that they were beaten up or abused when they were young when they did something wrong, so it would almost be like they expected to be abused when something overwhelming goes wrong in their life, although it might be things that are not within their control. They cut themselves to be in control. Of course that’s just generalising. There are teenagers who cut themselves simply because ‘everyone else is doing it, like smoking’. They did it for social acceptance.

Some people grow out of it, like a temporary phase in life that when you matured and you just stopped doing it. Unfortunately some people don’t. That’s dangerous because people who cuts themselves are usually suicidal as well. I guess it is important that people seek help when they find themselves self-harming. Talking to a trusted person or a loved one about it seem to help, and seeking professional help from a psychiatrist should definitely be considered as well. Consider taking up a religion (no, not those satanic ones) and start reciting prayers because that seemed to have helped a lot of people. Cutting yourself is a behaviour that hurts not only yourself, but the people around you as well. They are hurt too when you put that knife to your arm. You have already been through so much, and you have been hurt so much – why inflict more pain on yourself and on the people around you? I do hope you look at life in the face, grabbing life by the balls and show them who’s in control. And I wish you all the best in recovering.


The whole thing just make me cringe, yet I feel sorry for them. I wanted to help them but I do not know what to do. I tried to imagine myself back when I was 17 or 18, and the times before I met Nicole. I felt low because of a variety of reasons – I can’t find acceptance within my group of friends, I felt the pressure of keeping up with my studies, I felt tied up by the lack of freedom given by my parents. I remembered my bouts of ‘depression’ if you want to call it that way, and the thought of cutting myself never even once went through my head. Yet I pulled it through. Everytime I feel low, I go to the gym with a stomach full of rage and anger, armed with earphones filled with pumping music, and then I just take it all out on the weights, go home to bed with an body overdosed with endorphins, and wake up the next day with sore muscles all over my body. So, I guess I was abusing myself in a way – except I was injuring my muscles instead of the surface of my skin. πŸ˜‰ Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – that’s true.

I’d like to hear from you. Have you ever cut yourself? If so, what was going through your mind when you do it? What triggered you to do it? If not, how did you cope with stress and depression when it hits you? Please leave comments, and remember that you may remain anonymous if you want. I would love to hear your side of the story.

I leave you with a quote, so gross yet so true, courtesy of the philosopher Kim. (That girl has been churning out quotes after quotes like Confucius.) Artwork by yours truly. Feel free to spread it around. πŸ™‚

Life is a shit hole, you just gotta find the flush handle