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RALPH Magazine February 2005 Review

I’m not sure if its just me or what, but it seems like seems to attract female readers only. Of course, that’s not necessarily a bad thing (in fact its a bloody good thing), but I’d like to know if there are male readers to this site. Well, here’s an entry to try to get things started anyway.

Ralph Magazine is a very popular lad’s mag in Australia. For those who are not familiar, lad’s magazine (or lad’s mag) like FHM, Maxim or Loaded, are founded in the UK, and they serve as men’s answer to Cleo or Cosmpolitan magazines. These magazines usually rely heavily on attractive models or celebrities dressed in skimpy clothing to sell. Supposedly, this allows them to be classified as Men’s Lifestyle Magazines, which makes them more respectable than magazines like Playboy or Penthouse which are usually classified as filth or porno mags.
Unfortunately in Malaysia, only FHM is available despite it being heavily toned down to satisfy Malaysia’s “Sex = Bad” censorship board. Personally I prefer FHM Singapore although it is still holding back on its more risque content.
Whilst magazines like FHM has gone international, Ralph is unique because it is published in Australia and features mostly Australian content. Like others of its kind, it is printed on high quality glossy paper – not bad for a AUD7.95 mag. Apart from photos of near-naked ladies its usual content includes beer, sex, sports, unusual news, more beer, more sex and a good deal of men’s humour. Articles and interviews are usually written in a very casual manner, which makes it a fun read even for men with the lowest IQ, which happens to be most men, like myself.
Anyway, let’s have a look at the current issue of RALPH in all its glory.

The current issue of Ralph features Tara Reid on its front cover, fresh from her wardrobe malfunction a while ago. She’s trying to make her boobs look bigger I might add… notice how she’s leaning forward and squeezing them with the inside of her arms. Just thought I might point that out for the benefit of boob-obsessed Kim.
Ralph photographers are famous for their taking photos of ladies placing a thumb in the undies. A flip through the current issue of Ralph magazine reveals the a large number of these types of photos. Like this picture of the “Page 29 Girl”, which honestly is the lamest title I’ve ever heard.

Another thumb-in-the-undie shoot, featuring this issue’s “Girl Next Door” whom apparently does not live next door to me.

I think having a thumb-through-the-undie makes them look like they’re gonna remove it or something. Such a tease. This issue’s “Discovery Girl” also has that thumb-through-the-undie syndrome.

Oooh, more! Such as these. No wonder feminists complain women are being increasingly treated as sex objects.

And another one of Ralph’s heavily Photoshopped models…

Seriously this is not a porno mag. Doesn’t anyone believe me?
Ralph usually has great one-liners to accompany their photos.

The current issue has a feature article that pays homage to popular sidekicks. For some reason this entry cracks me up so much.

Towards the end of the magazine, there’s an abundant of ads targeted towards men. By that I meant ads for dirty phone calls or sms. Dirty sms you say? Why would anyone actually pay to send and receive dirty smses for $4.50 a pair!? For all I know the person maybe some sweaty 60-year-old dude in his boxers watching some gay porn whilst replying my sms!

Interestingly, there’s a sealed section in this month’s mag.

Ralph kindly explains “Unfortunately, we can’t show you the raciest pictures – the ones that take a year off our lives everytime we look at them – unless we do this nify ‘sealed section’ trick to stop you opening that part of the mag in the newsagency and giving five pensioners heart attacks.” Thank you, Ralph. I flipped through the sealed section and find myself very enlightened indeed. Let’s just say that I’d like to preserve this site’s kiddie-friendly status. 😉 Anyway, I decided to pop the sealed section into the recycle bin just in case Nicole finds out and cooks me alive in my Kambrook Omelette Maker.
The rest of the magazine features news and articles on boy’s toys, entertainment reviews, best beaches and pubs in Australia, a pretty good style and fashion tips section, and finishes off with some steamy erotic story guaranteed to give an old man a hard on without the need for viagra.
All in all, makes for a fun and interesting read! Too bad they don’t carry Ralph in Malaysia. Stupid censorship board…

Those Singaporeans sure are damn serious about their health.
Osim iSqueez foot massager

Osim iSqueez – Squeeze your legs (and maybe other body parts) for better health.

Osim iSqueez is yet another item in the list of many products that popularizes the use of small letter ‘i’ in the name, after Apple’s iPod, Helwett-Packard’s iPaq and George W Bush’s iRaq. The iSqueez (yes, that’s the correct spelling – no ‘e’ at the end) is a foot massage gizmo that, according to them, is “specially created to relief the negative effects of everyday stress on your feet and restore your overall sense of well-being”.
Osim iSqueeze price tag

At RM1,388 the Osim iSqueez does not come cheap.

Someone bought one of these baby as a gift to my father, which costs RM1,388 from the Osim outlet in Tun Jugah Shopping Mall. Unfortunately my father prefers a real foot reflexologist than some thousand dollar gadget. There are other types of foot massagers available, but I reckon most of them should be marketed under “Foot Tickler” label instead.
Osim iSqueeze back of the box

Osim iSqueez’s package looks very inviting.

The back of the box brags about the foot massager even further. “The revitalizing massage relaxes and restores, giving you that extra bounce in your steps, just like walking on clouds!” Heh. Man! Walking on clouds? The last time I heard someone THAT boastful is when I told people I wear XL size condoms.
Well, I like the overall design of the packaging. Props to the designer to come up with such a nice colour scheme. Oh, did I mention that it has a similar colour scheme to Heh, it is a good colour scheme I tell you, white and light blue.
Anyway, the box itself already look pretty very inviting to the wallet. Of course, a few pictures of some nice smooth pair of legs wouldn’t hurt either. 🙂
Different ways of using the Osim iSqueeze

Different ways of using the Osim iSqueez.

There’s many different ways of using the foot massager. I would think that the most common way to use it is with you sitting down on a chair or sofa. Considering how heavy it is, I don’t think its something you would want to use lying down. After all if you happen to doze while using it, you might very well kick that lug of a thing down to the floor and break it.
Osim iSqueeze Actual photo
And here’s the actual photo of the Osim iSqueez. You are forgiven if you mistaken it for a toaster.
There are handles on two sides of the unit. Too bad there’s not much use of them considering the iSqueez is about as heavy as a PC, and you won’t be carrying it around much. Unless you wanna show it off to people, Singaporean style.
Osim iSqueeze Actual photo
The product is sturdy and well constructed. There’s two slots where you insert your feet and that’s where the action begins. These slots are covered with removable pieces of cloth, which you can (and should) wash regularly.
Osim iSqueeze Actual photo
All the buttons you need are located at the top part of the unit, one each for power, vibration and kneading (squeezing). You can set the strength of vibration to high or low (auto will alternate between the two), and the strength of kneading action (1 for strongest).
Osim iSqueeze Actual photo
So let’s see how the Osim iSqueez fare in action.
With the power off, I put my feet down into the slots (Pardon the hairy legs). The base and sides of the slots are uneven, but comfortable. The best way to describe the sensation is if you imagine yourself barefoot standing on a riverbank full of rounded rocks and pebbles.
Then, I set to vibration level to high. 🙂
Osim iSqueeze vibrating

Sorry, that was a bit of an exaggeration. How did it go? I felt like I’m wearing a vibrating condom of each of my feet. Nothing to shout about. I get exactly the same effect by rapidly shaking my legs whilst sitting down.
So I enabled the kneading action and set it to the second most powerful setting available.
Osim iSqueeze kneading in action

Excuse me while I return from heaven.
I doubted it initially, but I have to say… OH MY GOD, IT FELT SO FOOKING GOOD IT WAS ORGASMIC!!!
No, I did not wet my chair.
The first thing that happened as soon as I activated the kneading option, was the walls of the slots pressing in towards my lower legs. It felt very tight. At this point I felt as if I was wearing Nicole’s boots, comfy but darn tight.
Then the action began. Balls of silicone rolled onto my feet, my ankles and my calves. All of them focussing on the right pressure points. Within seconds, I was already lying back on the chair with my eyes closed, snoozing. Without looking, it really felt like two giant hands squeezing my feet, ankles and calves simultaneously. At this point, I started to wonder if I’m still straight, gay or machine-lover. It felt so painful, so sore, yet so pleasurable. (What the foot am I talking about here?)
There’s only one issue when something so magical works on you – you keep screaming “more! More! MORE!”. Although the iSqueez was touching me at all the right spots on my lower-legs, I was hoping it could do something about my toes and the base and roof of my feet. Those are the areas that need massages as well, and they seem left out from all the action.
After 5 minutes of massaging on the same spot, I started to feel rather sore and uncomfortable. I turned the power off, tried to get up and walk, but I floated instead because my feet felt so light. Seems like Osim wasn’t lying when they said you would feel like you’re walking on clouds.
Osim iSqueeze makes you walk in the clouds!
Stupid iSqueez. Damn you for being so fucking comfortable!
Anyway, is this thing worth RM1,388? I don’t know. I think its quite expensive for something that’s good for one thing. It feels good initially, yes, but you do get sore after a while so its not particularly relaxing or addictive.
Then again, that’s just my personal opinion. Honestly, its not something I would want to buy for myself because I know its probably just gonna sit there and gather dust after a while. I won’t be surprised if Osim follows Apple’s foodsteps and perhaps come up with Osim iSqueez photo (lets you take pictures of yourself in heaven) or Osim iSqueez mini (portable lightweight version of the iSqueeze). Then again, I wouldn’t hold my breath. 🙂
That said, I so totally love the idea of a foot massager that squeezes your legs. I’m not kidding when I said that it feels really good and it really relaxes you. Shoppers who frequent enormous shopping malls like those in KL and Perth would really appreciate this nifty gadget. If you have some spare RM1,388 lying around, then get it.
Now…. if only Osim can come up with something similar for my manhood……

Feedback from “Think Happy Thoughts”

I’m pleasantly surprised by the response I’ve had so far. I’m referring to my previous post where I encouraged people to blog about things that make them happy, simply because there’s so much negativity at the moment.
Thus far, I had three responses. Count them, THREE. Holy Wow. That’s like three times more responses than I expected!
Without visualizing me standing on the podium receiving my Oscar Award, here goes….
Naomi's Blog
Thank you sweet Naomi. No, I can’t complain about your dog. Makes me wanna jump in the shower and dry myself off with it.
Kimberley's Blog
Thanks for publicly advertising my site, witty Kimmik. You successfully kicked off a campaign that made everyone wondering “Who’s this hot Kenny that she’s talking about?”. Boy, can you imagine how disappointed they are when they found out how I look. Seriously though, I swear there’s more people visiting my site because they clicked on the links off your xanga than there are people visiting my site because they actually know me. You’re already like CNN even before you become a journalist.
IngHui's Blog
The most unexpected response I have received is actually from a very sassy girl from Miri called IngHui. I’ve only heard about IngHui through Kim and Irene. Her sense of humour shows in her writing, and that makes her entries a great read in the morning to start off my day. Thanks IngHui, and I sure am glad you’re back.
Life sucks, we know that. But at least there’s blogs to write and blogs to read. Ultimately though, web logs are our thoughts for us to keep. Others may read it if they like or leave it if they don’t. 10 years later, we want to read back at our entries and realised that life was not as gloomy as we made it out to be. No matter how bad things seem to be, there’s always little things that makes you go “Gee, I feel so glad to be alive.”
Last Saturday, I had a men’s night out. With Nicole away in KL, David’s fiancee working evening shift and Jacky‘s errr… crush still with her bf, the three of us decided to head to town for some drinks. I’m not keen on going to Mustang Bar, which is our usual pub, so we decided to head down to this new place called The Monkey Bar in Perth’s commercial district. Off we went wearing our nice collared shirt, smart jeans and good shoes.
Heavy Metal Fans
The unusual thing that evening was that amid the well dressed rich businesspeople from the surrounding pubs, there are groups of obvious heavy metal fans dressed in their black goth Marilyn-Manson like outfit, complete with heavy silver chains and jewellery. Considering that its such a warm evening to be dressed in black, I salute them for their commitment to their subculture.
We arrived at the Monkey Bar, the bouncer gave us a weird look and let us in. What did we see?
Club full of Heavy Metal Fans


All dressed in black and looked like they’re ready to devour our pity little souls. We felt so totally out of place. In our unsuccessful quest for good music and good alcohol, we visited HELL.
Rise Ibiza Beach Party
We ran for our lives. Luckily for us, our night ended in The Rise Dance Club where there’s an Ibiza Beach Party going on. That means plenty of girls in bikini (and plenty of wardrobe malfunctions as well) ;). Ahhhhh… You can say that we’ve been through hell and found heaven in the end!

Kambrook Omelette Maker

Most people who knows me well enough knows that I like gadgets. Convince me how useful some expensive gadget is, and you can be sure I’ll be showing you my wallet. The addiction first started with tech gadgets, and more recently I’ve been exploring kitchen gadgets. A section of the kitchen in my house is dedicated to my gadgets. Screw pots and pans! In my kitchen, among other things, you can find a George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine™, a George Foreman Lean Mean Contact Roasting Machine™ that’s gathering dust, my second baby the Sunbeam Cafe Barista Espresso Machine™, and the latest addition to Kenny’s Waste-of-Money Kitchen Gadget Family® – the Kambrook Omelette Maker™!

Why do I need an omelette maker? Well, good question. I love omelettes, and my sweet girlfriend Nicole makes some of the best omelettes I’ve ever had. One romantic evening, I asked her if she could make some omelettes for me for breakfast the next morning. "Ok lah!" she said "I’ll wake up early tomorrow morning to make some omelettes for you woh!" Well, morning came. I woke up expecting to smell the sweet aroma of freshly cooked omelettes – but there was none. Nicole was still sleeping in her room. "Where’s my omelette?" I cried. Nicole covered her head with her soft toy moose and groaned "I’m so tired… you make yourself lah! I’ll make it for you tomorrow morning instead ok?". Even until today, I yearned that elusive piece of omelette. *sniff*

Anyway, that’s not the main topic. You may put away your tissue box now.

Omelette Maker Box Shot

The Kambrook Omelette Maker retails for AUD49.95. I got it from Megamart right before Christmas for AUD39.95. It has a very simple packaging and comes with an instruction booklet and a plastic spatula.

Omelette Maker Oil Wells

The Omelette Maker has two deep non-stick oil wells. Kambrook claims that each well can cook up to 3 eggs (slightly less if fillings are used). It will take 8 minutes to fully cook the omelettes. Thanks to its temperature control mechanism, you can never over-cook your omelettes. Apart from omelettes, it can do sunny-side-ups, as I will demonstrate later.

3 eggs 1 mushroom

Kenny shall now show you how to make an omelette. First, you need 3 eggs and any filling of choice. Here, I chose one fresh WA mushroom.

Coat with oil

Spray or coat the omelette maker lightly with oil. Then preheat the omelette maker.

Chop into small mushroom pieces

Whilst preheating, chop the mushroom into tiny bits…

Break eggs

…and break 3 eggs into it.


Add soy sauce, milk, salt or pepper into it if you wish for extra flavour. Then just whisk the combination with a spoon until frisky. Here’s one prepared earlier!


To make an omelette, pour the contents into the preheated omelette maker. To make a sunny-side-up, just pop an egg into one of the wells. And that’s it! I took a shower, brushed my teeth, washed my face and breakfast should be ready by then! Let’s see what we have…


Tada! Apologies for the blur image. I was so excited my hands were shaking.


So here’s my breakfast. Admittedly it didn’t look too pretty, but as any failed chef would tell you “Food doesn’t have to be too pretty, because in the end it still goes into your tummy.”

Reflections on Perth – 1997

7 weeks. That’s how much time I have left. After 7 weeks, on February the 28th to be exact, 2 days after attending Nicole’s graduation, I shall be leaving Perth for good.

8 years. That’s how long I have stayed in Perth. For 8 years I have called Perth home. Its the place I grew up into adulthood. Its where I met amazing people that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. Now, due to my father’s condition, I have to leave Perth – albeit very relunctantly.

To count down to my final moments in Perth, I shall dedicate an entry a week to reminiscent each year that I spent in Perth, until I leave. Unfortunately most of my old photos were left in Kuching, which means I have to put up" image placeholders" until I can scan those photos in. Anyway, lets hop onto the time machine and rewind back to 1997 to see what pre-pubescent Kenny was like.


The year is 1997. Start of Asian Economic Crisis. Hong Kong returned to China. Princess Diana died in a car crash. Titanic made ‘You Jump I Jump’ famous.

My family touched down at Perth International Airport. The reason why we chose Perth is a very stupid one. My sister had just graduated from Limkokwing College, and she was looking for further studies overseas. A not-so-close friend of hers approached her and said "Hey! Let’s all go to study at Curtin University in Perth!". So she brought up the idea to my parents, they approved, paid all the fees and packed our bags to go to Perth. Upon arrival, she called up her not-so-close friend, who promptly said "Ha? What are you doing in Perth? We have all decided to study in Singapore instead!".

Thank you, sis.

Anyway, I got myself enrolled into the now defunct Beaufort College, which at the time was the largest international student boarding school in Perth at that time – at least according to their brochure. Then I realised that there must be very few international student boarding schools in Perth. I found out that the entire area of Beaufort smaller than Karawara shopping center not including the carpark area. So much for a great start.

I was 15 years old at that time, but I was doing Year 11 (equivalent to Form 5). Most of my classmates however were 18 years old. (Useless fact: I skipped Standard 6 whilst I was in Kuching, and later I managed to enrol into Year 11 because of I had good English and Mathematics scores. My classmates had to do Year 11 after finishing Form 5 because their English isn’t up to scratch. This explains the 3 year age gap between us.) Now, coming from Kuching, where fashion is non-existent and clothes are meant to be worn not flaunt – to a school full of hormone raging youngsters with rich parents to buy them hip clothing isn’t the easiest thing on Earth to do. With my young age, thick specs, mooncake face, residual baby fat, crooked teeth, AUD20 a week allowance, fake Guess T-shirt and very high Maths scores – I fall into the category of a nerd. Quite easily I became a target of a group of gang from Indonesia headed by their master chief Hazis Sorbono. I still remember the times when I had pebbles thrown at my head, my oral presentations interrupted by loud laughs from the back of the class, or my sandwich ‘accidentally’ bumped off my hands onto the floor. Yes, life was tough when you don’t look or behave the same as others.

During this period of time I’ve also had friends that I keep in touch with even till now. Christopher Chong was and still is my closest mate who argued about everything from Chemistry to the philosophy of life – he’s now running his father’s shipping business in Penang. Eric Fong was someone who supplied me with too much information to pollute my innocent 15 year old mind – he’s now enjoying life in Penang helping out his parents’ MLM business and managing very pretty models. Daniel Kuh became my mate when he offered to drive me to Bentley where we were both staying. Despite his pimply face and riceboy image, Daniel is actually a very down-to-earth genuinely nice guy. At that time we stayed very close to each other, but what he didn’t know was that Vicky lives right opposite his place.

Ahhh… Vicky. No high-school nerd story would be complete without a crush. Vicky was my crush. I still remembered how she walked into the Economics classroom with her Esprit shirt and yellow miniskirt and lights up the room. Yes, I know she’s 3 years elder than me, but I tell you – its love at first sight. I don’t know how but somehow one way or the other she and I managed to become friendly enough for her to invite me into her bedroom… to study Physics.No, not that kinda Physics you dirty mind! Year 11 Physics.

Daniel and Vicky knew about each other, but they didn’t exactly like each other. In fact, Vicky hated him because of his bad boy image. Anyhow, I let Daniel and Vicky know how close together they are staying. Now fast forward 8 years later…. as of writing, Daniel and Vicky have been dating for almost 2 years. *applause* This begins the series of many lovely couples that I’ve inadvertantly created.

At the end of 1997, my mother was still trying to get used to living life in Perth whilst my father was home in Kuching. Despite all these difficulties that I went through, I achieved academically well enough to earn myself a scholarship for Year 12. I was not experiencing homesickness too much. I was, in fact, starting to enjoy life in Perth.

Think Happy Thoughts

Just from blog-surfing I have noticed quite a lot of sad posts lately. All these depression and death and howdifficultlifeis… *cough* Tiffy *cough* Naomi *cough* Kim *cough* Chrissie *cough* Irene *cough**cough**cough*. Sorry I had a major cold. 😉
I can understand how everyone feels. All these personal issues are further compounded by the events of the past year. Let’s face it, 2004 in general was pretty crap. 2004 shall be remembered for the continuing war in Iraq, Bush and Howard’s re-elections, South Asian Tsunami. For myself, I learnt in 2004 that my father has contracted cancer.
Why don’t we think of one happy event, and blog about it. Just do it once for a change, ok?
I shall start by writing about one of my joys of living.
Jayden and Kenny
Meet my son Jayden. He’s 18 months old now. It all happened one passionate night two years ago…
Ok so I lied, he’s not my son. He’s my nephew. But look at him, isn’t he just the cutest little boy ever?
Like me, Jayden is also in the process of “re-discovering himself”. I’m pretty sure he’s still not quite there yet.
Jayden Monkey
Sometimes Jayden thinks he’s a monkey.
Jayden Dog
Sometimes he thinks he’s a dog.
Jayden Reindeer
When Christmas is near, he thinks he’s a reindeer.
Jayden Pig
But most of the time, he sleeps like a pig. Ahhh… the days free of worries. Sometimes I wish I were Jayden.
Jayden and Kirsten
Jayden has a little sister. Her name is Kirsten and she’s born on Christmas Day, which means she’s only two weeks old. Kirsten cries all the time, and Jayden is mystified by this new addition to the family. Sometimes he pokes her head with his finger when she cries.
I’m not quite sure how Kirsten will turn out when she grows older. But if the following picture (taken on the day she’s born) is any indication, I’ll be very very worried.

Selling off everything

Short update today.
Finally I managed to haul my ass back to the gym after a 2 months hiatus. In 2 months I had manged to gain back all the weight I’ve lost and I’m back to square one. How sad.
Nicole has possession of my digital camera. That means I’ll be using old photos / camera phone photos / no photos at all to update my blog. 🙁
I finally updated the About Me page. Talk about procrastination. I still managed to get all mushy and poetic about it though. 😉
I’m desperately trying to sell as many of my stuff as possible. In fact I’ve got many items up for grabs on My eBay. That’s not including the bigger and heavier items like many of my house furniture. I still have to sell off two sets of living room furniture, two sets of dining room furniture, three TV racks, three sets of TV of various sizes, five desks, two bookshelves, two gas lift chairs, and two cars. So those of you in Perth, please help me spread the good word.

About Me

Kenny Sia.
That’s my name. If you happen to come to this site, chances are we’ve met in real life and you already know who I am. If not, here are some quick and simple facts about me.
22 years old.
Kuching, Malaysia originally.
Perth, Australia currently.
When asked to give a subtitle to this website, I thought for a while what best describes me. When routine isn’t exactly normal. I always thought my life has been so normal, and so similar to most other people. But its usually when you start thinking that way that life throws you a curve ball. My life is routine, but its not always normal.
I graduated from Curtin University of Technology in Perth in November 2003. My academic title is BSc (Applied Physics), BEng (Electronic & Communication) (Hons). At the moment, I’m working as a Software Engineer with Spectra.
I go to the gym. I drink socially, but I don’t smoke. I hate it when people I care about smoke. I love my computers. I love my family.
I started this blog to keep in touch with my loved ones, to expand my creativity, and to re-discover myself. Why does one need to re-discover himself? Because I thought I’m normal. I was wrong. The only thing constant in this world is change, things change, and I change. This time next year I might be writing a totally different ‘About Me’ page.
There’s not much else to write about myself. After all, this whole website is dedicated to me. Talk about how vain one can get.
But this is me. I am Kenny.
UPDATE 14/05/05: This is very out-of-date. But I can’t be arsed editing it right now.

My job at Spectra

Spectra building
I work at Spectra. It is a small company of about 20+ employees that is based in Malaga, 20 minutes north of Perth city. From my place in Waterford, that’s about 30 minutes of driving each way to and from work for 5 days a week. Spectra manufactures analogue radio base stations and repeaters. These are then used in, say, a police headquarters so that they can communicate to their units on the road.
Name card
I am a Software Engineer. My job is to program and maintain the various software that the company uses, a large part that is the in-house testing software. All the base stations here need to pass through rigorous testing before it is sold. Recently though, I’ve been asked to do many graphic design related work, including designing the company website at
Pay Slip
I started working for Spectra about a week after I finished my final University exams. I was doing my work experience initially for AUD100 a week. 3 months later I was officially employed with a starting annual salary of AUD2x,xxx. By April, I was up to AUD3x,xxx per annum. Just before last Christmas, I received yet another payrise – this time to AUD4x,xxx. In Australia, our dough is paid fortnightly. So this translates to AUD1,xxx.xx a fortnight, of which AUD408 is taken away by the taxman, leaving me AUD1,xxx to spend. By law, my company also have to pay an additional 9% of my income (AUD138.47) into my superannuation fund (or EPF). I am happy!
Whilst this is probably 3 times more than what an average Malaysian earns, bear in mind that Australia is the place where outside food costs on average AUD10 per meal, movie tickets are AUD15 per adult, petrol is AUD1 a litre and many other living expenses are 3 times as much as well. Add the cost of feeding a girlfriend’s penchant for good food, good shoes and good handbags – I’ve got very very very little left for myself. Unfortunately. *sigh…*

The Weirdest Voice Mailbox Message Ever

I touched down in Perth at 5am this morning. First thing I did when I landed was to check my voice mailbox. Now, because I spent my new year ‘celebration’ (or there lackof) in Kuching instead of Perth, I expected tons and tons of people leaving me Happy New Year messages. After all, I’m so damn popular – at least I’d like to think that I am.
*Kenny dials 321*
“Welcome to Optus Voice Message System. You have… three… new voice messages.”
Hmm… just three messages? Oh well, something is better than nothing.
“Message One. Received January 5th at 2:24am.”
Gee that’s kinda late for a new year message.
“Hey…. Hi Natasha!”
Natasha? What’s this surfie dude with a strong Aussie accent talking about?
“This is Pete calling, from… from… *slurred message*.
YEAH! I’ve just got your message and thought FUCK! I must have missed that. *slurred message*
So yea I’m just here having a few… few… Marijuana pipes hahaha.., HAHAHHAA *bubbling sound* Fuck… Umm….Yea… We should catch up sometime. Call me soon huh. Bye.”

Gee Pete, that is so sweet. Perhaps if you weren’t so stoned, you could perhaps have heard some guy called Kenny asking you to leave a message after the beep.

Saturday Night in Kuching

Hmmm… That lasy entry was kinda weird. My apologies. I more or less wrote it under the influence of alcohol last night. It was totally unplanned. Nicole and I happened to be in town, and we decided to check out the Saturday night crowd in Kuching pubs.
This is the Grappa signage I happened to pass by on our way to SoHo:
Grappa sign proper
Once in SoHo, we bumped into Kenneth. Kenneth is a very nice guy from Penang. We met him once before through Averil and friends, and he’s been very friendly to us since, often buying us drinks. He’s a heavy drinker himself. A bottle of Chivas costs RM240 in SoHo, and Kenneth would drink almost a bottle a night, for four nights straight.
It didn’t take long for more people we knew to arrive. Averil and Faith are Nicole’s close pals from her TAR College days, and Anna is a common friend of theirs. David, who is a pilot for MAS, soon joined us. Luckily he didn’t drink too much, or else I wouldn’t be taking another MAS flight ever again. From left to right, that’s Kenneth, Anna, Averil and David.
Kenneth, Anna, Averil, David
We hung around till about 12, and Nicole and I decided to call it a night. By then I had about 8 glasses of Chivas with coke/green tea. We passed by the Grappa signage again, and this is what it looked like to me:
Grappa sign blur
Heh. Anyway, I just sent Nicole off to the airport today. She’s flying back to KL. As for me, I’ll be leaving for Perth in 2 hours time. It won’t be life as usual for me by then, as I would be selling off everything there and return to Kuching for good by March.
Until then, Kuching. Goodbye.