The Weirdest Voice Mailbox Message Ever

I touched down in Perth at 5am this morning. First thing I did when I landed was to check my voice mailbox. Now, because I spent my new year ‘celebration’ (or there lackof) in Kuching instead of Perth, I expected tons and tons of people leaving me Happy New Year messages. After all, I’m so damn popular – at least I’d like to think that I am.
*Kenny dials 321*
“Welcome to Optus Voice Message System. You have… three… new voice messages.”
Hmm… just three messages? Oh well, something is better than nothing.
“Message One. Received January 5th at 2:24am.”
Gee that’s kinda late for a new year message.
“Hey…. Hi Natasha!”
Natasha? What’s this surfie dude with a strong Aussie accent talking about?
“This is Pete calling, from… from… *slurred message*.
YEAH! I’ve just got your message and thought FUCK! I must have missed that. *slurred message*
So yea I’m just here having a few… few… Marijuana pipes hahaha.., HAHAHHAA *bubbling sound* Fuck… Umm….Yea… We should catch up sometime. Call me soon huh. Bye.”

Gee Pete, that is so sweet. Perhaps if you weren’t so stoned, you could perhaps have heard some guy called Kenny asking you to leave a message after the beep.

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