Wrong Mary

Kenny: *press button for flight attendant*
100_9272
Cute MAS Flight Attendant: “Hi, how may I help you?”
Kenny: “Yeah, can I have a Virgin Mary please? Thanks.”
Cute MAS Flight Attendant: “You want a… Virgin Mary?”
Kenny: “Yes, please.”
Cute MAS Flight Attendant: “You mean a Bloody Mary?”
Kenny: “OH! YA YA YA! BLOODY MARY! My mistake.”
100_9271
Stupid difficult-to-remember cocktail names.

Travel Audioblog

Audioposts will appear here when available.

<br /> <? include("http://kennysia-audio2.blogspot.com/index.html"); ?></p> </div> <!-- /.entry-content --> <footer class="entry-meta"> </footer> <!-- /.entry-meta --> </article> <!-- /#post --> <article itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Article" id="post-233" class="post-233 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-life-documentary"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/kennysiacom_wor/" title="Permalink to kennysia.com World Tour" rel="bookmark">kennysia.com World Tour</a> </h1> <div class="header-meta"><span class="publish-date"><i class="far fa-calendar-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/kennysiacom_wor/" title="Posted 8 October 2005 @ 1:47 am" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2005-10-08T01:47:57+08:00" itemprop="datePublished">8 October 2005</time></a></span><address class="publish-author"><i class="fas fa-pencil-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.kennysia.com/author/kennysia/" title="View all posts by admin" rel="author" itemprop="author">admin</a></span></address><span class="post-categories"><a href="https://www.kennysia.com/category/life-documentary/" rel="category tag">Life Documentary</a></span><span class="comments-link"><i class="fas fa-comment" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/kennysiacom_wor/#comments" title="Comment on kennysia.com World Tour">63 Comments</a></span></div> </header> <!-- /.entry-header --> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Yea, right.<br /> <img decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051008-1.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"><br /> This month is travelling month. With Project #1 and #2 firmly behind my back, I&#8217;m looking forward to getting my ass far far away from Kuching, perhaps try to max out my credit card pampering myself in the process. Kenny Sia lives by the principle <b>&#8220;WORK hard. PLAY hard. And PRAY hard hard so I can win 4D later.&#8221;</b><br /> This coming Sunday I&#8217;ll be in Kuala Lumpur. Following day I&#8217;ll travel to Shanghai, right after which I&#8217;ll be in Perth for ten days before returning to Kuching (and getting back into the routine) on the 25th. Appreciate it if Shanghai-travelling experts have any tips to share on the best places to shop/eat/party/hangout.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051008-2.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"><br /> Things I plan to do when I&#8217;m in KL:<br /> <b>1.</b> Gadget-shopping at Lowyat. I&#8217;m eye-ing the iPod nano. I checked, RM969 for a 2GB model. So expensive but it&#8217;s&#8230; oh&#8230; so&#8230; pretty&#8230; <i>*drools*</i><br /> <b>2.</b> Meet up with <a href="http://www.minishorts.net">minishorts</a> for Hokkien Char.<br /> <b>3.</b> Get my essential dose of Starbucks Lampa Frappuchino.<br /> <b>4.</b> Skydive from the top of KLCC twin towers.<br /> <b>5.</b> Try NOT to get cheated at Petaling Street.<br /> <b>6.</b> Consider accepting <a href="http://tilia.blogdrive.com/archive/184.html">Tilia&#8217;s benevolent act of kindness</a>.<br /> <b>7.</b> Go out partying with sexy bomb <a href="http://www.laineylashes.com/">LaineyLashes</a>.<br /> <b>8.</b> Return <a href="http://www.shaolintiger.com">ShaolinTiger</a> to the zoo he escaped from.<br /> But since I&#8217;ll be in town for merely 12 hours, I&#8217;m only gonna have time to attend 1, 2 and 3. Shucks.<br /> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051008-6.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"></p> <p class="caption">Town center, Saratok.</p> <p>Saratok is a beautiful small rural town and all that, but to tell you the truth I&#8217;m SO glad to get away from it finally.<br /> It&#8217;s small, crime-free and everyone knows everyone. I especially like how Malays here speak Hokkien and Chinese speaks Iban. But there&#8217;s just something else I cannot get used to over there.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051008-3.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"></p> <p class="caption">Saratok sunset.</p> <p>No, it&#8217;s not the fact that there&#8217;s no entertainment after 7:30pm, it&#8217;s nothing to do with the fact that people here naming their convenience store <i>&#8216;Luxurious Restaurant&#8217;</i>. It&#8217;s those freaking insects infesting the entire bloody town!<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051008-4.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"></p> <p class="caption">GAH! Get away from my computer you stupid big fat juicy Saratokian housefly!</p> <p>I was sleeping with ants and spiders and cockroaches even in the supposedly cleanest hotel room in Saratok. Every morning I wake up, I check my nose to ensure there&#8217;s no dead cockroach sleeping in it. It&#8217;s bad. It&#8217;s very bad. It&#8217;s BEYOND bad.<br /> Saratok has stray cats &#8211; lots of them. These cats rule the foodcourts. Every evening you&#8217;d see a family of 6-7 cats, all huddling around a table patiently waiting for the next patron to feed them scrap food. On one occasion, I saw a stray dog wandering into the foodcourt innocently, only to be bitten and chased away by the feline army.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051008-5.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"><br /> I was impressed. Not even Cat City Kuching has stray cats as vile and vicious as the ones they have in Saratok.<br /> I think they should change the names of the towns around here. Change Saratok into Kuching, and change Kuching into Anjing.</p> </div> <!-- /.entry-content --> <footer class="entry-meta"> </footer> <!-- /.entry-meta --> </article> <!-- /#post --> <article itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Article" id="post-232" class="post-232 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-life-documentary tag-baby"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/pinku/" title="Permalink to Pinku" rel="bookmark">Pinku</a> </h1> <div class="header-meta"><span class="publish-date"><i class="far fa-calendar-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/pinku/" title="Posted 6 October 2005 @ 2:53 pm" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2005-10-06T14:53:45+08:00" itemprop="datePublished">6 October 2005</time></a></span><address class="publish-author"><i class="fas fa-pencil-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.kennysia.com/author/kennysia/" title="View all posts by admin" rel="author" itemprop="author">admin</a></span></address><span class="post-categories"><a href="https://www.kennysia.com/category/life-documentary/" rel="category tag">Life Documentary</a></span><span class="comments-link"><i class="fas fa-comment" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/pinku/#comments" title="Comment on Pinku">69 Comments</a></span></div> </header> <!-- /.entry-header --> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Remember my baby niece <a href="http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2005/01/think_happy_tho.php">Kirsten</a>? Probably not. Here&#8217;s a pic taken of her just two hours after she&#8217;s born.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" alt="2 hours old" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051006-1.jpg" width="400" height="300" /></p> <p class="caption">I think she doesn&#8217;t like me taking her photo&#8230;</p> <p>She&#8217;s my favourite baby girl. I love her for her baby smell, her droopy cheeks and her sad sad face. Kirsten is nicknamed <em>Pinku </em> because when she&#8217;s born her face was all red and pinkish. My sis&#8217; mother-in-law said it&#8217;s probably because my sis planted too many tomatoes when she was pregnant with her.<br /> I haven&#8217;t seen Pinku since she returned to Perth and I can&#8217;t wait to hold her again later this month. Last I saw her she&#8217;s still cute and small like a baby pillow. I wonder how she is right now. For all I know, the little princess could be all grown up right now.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" alt="8 months old" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051006-2.jpg" width="375" height="500" /><br /> Some things never change.</p> </div> <!-- /.entry-content --> <footer class="entry-meta"> </footer> <!-- /.entry-meta --> </article> <!-- /#post --> <article itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Article" id="post-231" class="post-231 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-my-web-app tag-agent-smith tag-matrix"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/agent_smith_quo/" title="Permalink to Agent Smith Quote Generator" rel="bookmark">Agent Smith Quote Generator</a> </h1> <div class="header-meta"><span class="publish-date"><i class="far fa-calendar-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/agent_smith_quo/" title="Posted 5 October 2005 @ 12:33 pm" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2005-10-05T12:33:44+08:00" itemprop="datePublished">5 October 2005</time></a></span><address class="publish-author"><i class="fas fa-pencil-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.kennysia.com/author/kennysia/" title="View all posts by admin" rel="author" itemprop="author">admin</a></span></address><span class="post-categories"><a href="https://www.kennysia.com/category/my-web-app/" rel="category tag">My Web App</a></span><span class="comments-link"><i class="fas fa-comment" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/agent_smith_quo/#comments" title="Comment on Agent Smith Quote Generator">77 Comments</a></span></div> </header> <!-- /.entry-header --> <div class="entry-content"> <p> Barely 2 days worth of R&#038;R in Kuching and I&#8217;m already back slaving myself in sleepy Saratok.</p> <p>I don&#8217;t think I can survive in Saratok. There&#8217;s virtually no entertainment around here and the only Internet Cafe I know of closes at 6:30pm. </p> <p> Meanwhile, I haven&#8217;t yet gotten over my Agent Smith obsession. Here&#8217;s an Agent Smith Quote Generator I created. Enjoy. 🙂 </p> <p> <? if(isset($_POST['line1'])) { $line1=$_POST['line1']; $line2=$_POST['line2']; print "<img src='http://www.kennysia.com/MyWebApps/img.php?line1=$line1&#038;line2=$line2' width='500' height='313' />&#8220;;<br /> ?><br /> <br /> To save this image, right-click the image and select <i>&#8220;Save Image As&#8230;&#8221;</i>.<br /> <? } else { ?><br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/MyWebApps/smith.jpg" width="500" height="313" /><br /> <? } ?><br /> </p> <form action="<?php echo $_SERVER['PHP_SELF'];?>&#8221; method=&#8221;post&#8221; name=&#8221;form1&#8243; id=&#8221;form1&#8243;><br /> <strong>And he said:<br /> <input type="text" name="line1" maxlength="22" /><br /> <br /> <input type="text" name="line2" maxlength="27"/></p> <p><input type="submit" name="Submit" value="Submit" /><br /> </strong><br /> </form> <p><B>NOTE:</B> No quotation marks (<B>&#8216;</B> or <B>\&#8221;</B>) and ampersands (<B>&#038;</B>) allowed or else it won&#8217;t work. Use <B>&#8217;</B> for quotes instead.</p> <p><b>Last creation: </b><br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/MyWebApps/lastpicture.jpg" width="500" height="313" /></p> <p>Please post a comment if you&#8217;re gonna use this on your site, yea?</p> <p><a href="http://www.kennysia.com/MyWebApps/"><strong>Click here for archived image gallery</strong>!</a></p> <p>Let me know if you guys found any gem.</p> </div> <!-- /.entry-content --> <footer class="entry-meta"> </footer> <!-- /.entry-meta --> </article> <!-- /#post --> <article itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Article" id="post-230" class="post-230 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-thoughts-musings"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/character_confu/" title="Permalink to Character Confusion" rel="bookmark">Character Confusion</a> </h1> <div class="header-meta"><span class="publish-date"><i class="far fa-calendar-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/character_confu/" title="Posted 4 October 2005 @ 1:22 am" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2005-10-04T01:22:52+08:00" itemprop="datePublished">4 October 2005</time></a></span><address class="publish-author"><i class="fas fa-pencil-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.kennysia.com/author/kennysia/" title="View all posts by admin" rel="author" itemprop="author">admin</a></span></address><span class="post-categories"><a href="https://www.kennysia.com/category/thoughts-musings/" rel="category tag">Thoughts &amp; Musings</a></span><span class="comments-link"><i class="fas fa-comment" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/character_confu/#comments" title="Comment on Character Confusion">82 Comments</a></span></div> </header> <!-- /.entry-header --> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Am I the only one feeling this way?<br /> I was watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King on HBO when I realised how I cannot get used to Hugo Weaving as the elf lord Elrond.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051003-1.jpg" width="400" height="300"/><br /> I&#8217;d already gotten so used to Hugo Weaving playing Agent Smith in <em>the Matrix trilogies</em> that EVERYTIME I watch a movie with him in it, I&#8217;d automatically visualise his character in black suit and sunglasses.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051003-2.jpg" width="400" height="300"/><br /> But still, I like Agent Smith in <em>the Matrix trilogies</em> a lot more than I like Neo eventhough he&#8217;s the protagonist. There&#8217;s just something inexplicably cool about a guy in full-on business suit doing kung fu. You have to admit that his facial expression in the movie is simply priceless.<br /> I had fun adding speech bubbles to his photos. Here&#8217;s some.<br /> <br /> Agent Smith &#8220;comparing notes&#8221;.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051003-5.jpg" width="400" height="300"/><br /> <br /> Agent Smith rushing somewhere.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051003-3.jpg" width="400" height="300"/></p> <p>And my personal favourite&#8230;<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051003-6.jpg" width="500" height="313"/></p> <p> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/character_confu/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&rarr;</span></a></p> </div> <!-- /.entry-content --> <footer class="entry-meta"> </footer> <!-- /.entry-meta --> </article> <!-- /#post --> <article itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Article" id="post-229" class="post-229 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-favourite-entries category-out-of-the-ordinary"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/living_in_denia/" title="Permalink to Living In Denial" rel="bookmark">Living In Denial</a> </h1> <div class="header-meta"><span class="publish-date"><i class="far fa-calendar-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/living_in_denia/" title="Posted 2 October 2005 @ 12:07 am" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2005-10-02T00:07:18+08:00" itemprop="datePublished">2 October 2005</time></a></span><address class="publish-author"><i class="fas fa-pencil-alt" aria-hidden="true"></i> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://www.kennysia.com/author/kennysia/" title="View all posts by admin" rel="author" itemprop="author">admin</a></span></address><span class="post-categories"><a href="https://www.kennysia.com/category/favourite-entries/" rel="category tag">Favourite Entries</a> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/category/out-of-the-ordinary/" rel="category tag">Out of the Ordinary</a></span><span class="comments-link"><i class="fas fa-comment" aria-hidden="true"></i> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/living_in_denia/#comments" title="Comment on Living In Denial">127 Comments</a></span></div> </header> <!-- /.entry-header --> <div class="entry-content"> <p><i>Somewhere in the quaint small town of Saratok&#8230;</i><br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051001-1.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"/><br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> Darlinggggggggggggg<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Whatttttttttttttttt<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> I got something to tell you.<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> What is it, my dear?<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> My birthday is coming soon, right?<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Yeahhhh.<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> You really really love me a lot, right?<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Yeahhhh.<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> That means you should do whatever you can to make me happy, right?<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Errr&#8230;. yeahhhh?<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> Ok. 🙂 I want to open a restaurant.<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Har?<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> Not just any restaurant. I want to open a big big 5-star restaurant.<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Lao puo, what cock you talking?<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051001-2.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"/><br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> I want to open a luxurious restaurant. I want Chow Yun Fatt to do the opening ceremony. And then I want to invite Brad Pitt for dinner, Angelina Jolie as MC, and Gwen Stefani to sing on stage.<br /> Oh ya I also want Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to have their wedding here. And I want Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to come here for honeymoon too.<br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051001-5.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"/><br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Siao. What the hell are you smoking, woman? Excuse me miss but we live in <i>Saratok</i>, not <i>New York</i>. We&#8217;re 5 hours away from the nearest international airport and most residents here wouldn&#8217;t even spend the kind of money to eat in a 1-star restaurant let alone a 5-star one. Who the hell goes to a 5-star restaurant in the middle of nowhere anyway?<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> You don&#8217;t want to help me achieve my dream is it? 🙁<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> No lah. But at least be realistic with your dreams darling? What freaking luxurious restaurant? Please lah. We only have enough money to start a small <i>kedai runcit</i> (convenience shop) ok?<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> YOU AND YOUR KEDAI RUNCIT AGAIN! I&#8217;m SO sick and tired of hearing your stupid kedai runcit ok!? Everything is always about YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! What about ME? I married you for 5 years and I gave you everything! See I gave you Ah Boy and Ah Girl, have dinner ready everytime you come home the palm oil estate and ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS YOURSELF?! I sacrifice a lot for you already ok!? I always think of you first. WHAT ABOUT MY GOALS?<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> But a restaurant is really&#8230;. aiya lao puo don&#8217;t like that. Come here I give you hug hug. Relax relax lah.<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> RELAX?! WHAT RELAX?! ONLY MY MASSEUSE CAN TELL ME TO RELAX! YOU SELFISH BASTARD I HATE YOU! SAY YOU LOVE ME BUT NEVER LISTEN TO ME. EVERYTIME ALSO LIKE THAT ONE!!!<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Tsk. Say how many times we only have enough money to start a small convenience shop onlyyyyy.<br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> I DON&#8217;T CARE. I SAY I WANT LUXURIOUS RESTAURANT MEANS I WANT LUXURIOUS RESTAURANT.<br /> <b>Tau Keh:</b> Aiya darling&#8230; how can&#8230;? Aiii&#8230; ok lah ok lah, I give you your restaurant lah. *sigh*</p> <p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051001-3.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"/><br /> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="http://www.kennysia.com/images/photos/20051001-4.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" border="0"/><br /> <b>Tau Keh Nio:</b> Cheebye husband.</p> <p> <a href="https://www.kennysia.com/living_in_denia/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&rarr;</span></a></p> </div> <!-- /.entry-content --> <footer class="entry-meta"> </footer> <!-- /.entry-meta --> </article> <!-- /#post --> <nav class="navigation pagination" aria-label="Posts"> <h2 class="screen-reader-text">Posts navigation</h2> <div class="nav-links"><a class="prev page-numbers" href="https://www.kennysia.com/2005/10/"><i class="fas fa-angle-left" aria-hidden="true"></i> <span>Previous</span></a> <a class="page-numbers" 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