Somewhere in the quaint small town of Saratok…
Tau Keh Nio: Darlinggggggggggggg
Tau Keh: Whatttttttttttttttt
Tau Keh Nio: I got something to tell you.
Tau Keh: What is it, my dear?
Tau Keh Nio: My birthday is coming soon, right?
Tau Keh: Yeahhhh.
Tau Keh Nio: You really really love me a lot, right?
Tau Keh: Yeahhhh.
Tau Keh Nio: That means you should do whatever you can to make me happy, right?
Tau Keh: Errr…. yeahhhh?
Tau Keh Nio: Ok. 🙂 I want to open a restaurant.
Tau Keh: Har?
Tau Keh Nio: Not just any restaurant. I want to open a big big 5-star restaurant.
Tau Keh: Lao puo, what cock you talking?
Tau Keh Nio: I want to open a luxurious restaurant. I want Chow Yun Fatt to do the opening ceremony. And then I want to invite Brad Pitt for dinner, Angelina Jolie as MC, and Gwen Stefani to sing on stage.
Oh ya I also want Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to have their wedding here. And I want Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to come here for honeymoon too.
Tau Keh: Siao. What the hell are you smoking, woman? Excuse me miss but we live in Saratok, not New York. We’re 5 hours away from the nearest international airport and most residents here wouldn’t even spend the kind of money to eat in a 1-star restaurant let alone a 5-star one. Who the hell goes to a 5-star restaurant in the middle of nowhere anyway?
Tau Keh Nio: You don’t want to help me achieve my dream is it? 🙁
Tau Keh: No lah. But at least be realistic with your dreams darling? What freaking luxurious restaurant? Please lah. We only have enough money to start a small kedai runcit (convenience shop) ok?
Tau Keh Nio: YOU AND YOUR KEDAI RUNCIT AGAIN! I’m SO sick and tired of hearing your stupid kedai runcit ok!? Everything is always about YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! What about ME? I married you for 5 years and I gave you everything! See I gave you Ah Boy and Ah Girl, have dinner ready everytime you come home the palm oil estate and ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS YOURSELF?! I sacrifice a lot for you already ok!? I always think of you first. WHAT ABOUT MY GOALS?
Tau Keh: But a restaurant is really…. aiya lao puo don’t like that. Come here I give you hug hug. Relax relax lah.
Tau Keh Nio: RELAX?! WHAT RELAX?! ONLY MY MASSEUSE CAN TELL ME TO RELAX! YOU SELFISH BASTARD I HATE YOU! SAY YOU LOVE ME BUT NEVER LISTEN TO ME. EVERYTIME ALSO LIKE THAT ONE!!!
Tau Keh: Tsk. Say how many times we only have enough money to start a small convenience shop onlyyyyy.
Tau Keh Nio: I DON’T CARE. I SAY I WANT LUXURIOUS RESTAURANT MEANS I WANT LUXURIOUS RESTAURANT.
Tau Keh: Aiya darling… how can…? Aiii… ok lah ok lah, I give you your restaurant lah. *sigh*
Tau Keh Nio: Cheebye husband.
At that moment, it felt as if he was standing next to me. I can feel his warmth. I can visualise him smiling at me proudly.
Hahaha that got me man!!
hahahaha that’s hilarious! looks like a kedai runcit to me
Walau …. restaurant and turned out to be a groccery shop ? >_Walau …. restaurant and turned out to be a groccery shop ? >_
nice speculation… could so be true -_-
the signboard maker strikes again….
eh? no one goes, 1st, 2nd 3rd liao arh? :p
Nice one kenny.
though I dun understand some parts..
Good one, you made me laugh for the first time today.
what the heck…LOL luxurious retaurant, and “chap hoi tiam”..
ahahahahah ah ah ahahahaha ahhhahahahahah hahahah haha aahah hahahahahahahhaahahhahahaha!!!
when i read this entry at first i was like…harhhh?????
and the last picturee…..just explains it all..
mien kenny ur good! hahaha
The poor husband. LoL. This is a gd one!
Oyyyy Kenny! You must right; make me pissed in my frilly panties! Boey tahan man. 1:44am and I am laughing like hyena until my hubby also wake up. Story so funny must tell friends
hahahah! Sui Kenny! This rocks
no one else can beat your sense of humour kenny=)
Hehe, the tauke is quite kuai lan.
the boss wife also know how to demand.
next time when you get married,
make sure you know your wife very well.
LOL. I was wondering where u were going. =)
dude. ur way cool man.
Lol…it’s really been a while since I went to Saratok…wonder how it is now… 😛
I have to say, that was hilarious.Haha.
Good post, man! Fcukin’ hilarious!!!
Nearly pissed myself…
pei lei czar thou (er, the translation to eng sounds hentai, so malay la: kamu buat saya terpegang? XD)
hahaha, nice one lah 🙂
hahahahahaha havent eat my breakfast n u made me laugh like hell!!!luckily my parents are not at home if not they sure think im crazy again!!everyday luaghing in front of the screen!!! u rockss man!!
hohoho! ((: wtf?
Bravo. It’s funny. Haha. light up my much hated sunday! haha
wahahahaha. hey kenny, my friend said the ‘pizza’ in saratok is good. i duno if he meant by the real pizza, de ones u haf in pizza hut.
lurve ya blog!
hahaha…. this is wat I call the usual dose of Kenny medication for his fans…. Good one!
Oh my God, this is the best joke EVER! I laughed and laughed so hard …! Well done Kenny! You simply are the best!
that is hilarious hahahahaha
i wanted to go BWAHAHA like the rest but I decided to settle on something less common:
Lol. Nice “miscommunication”.
hahahah… that’s hillarious man… that is one of the many reason that I kept your URL bookmarked… thumbs up man!!!
tok cock king @ his best again
WAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! That one was damn hilarious man! Keep it up!!! We want more kenny!
two thumbs up man!
Did you make up the story? or the taukeh told you the story?ROFL
Thank you for bringing yet somemore laughter into my life.
As usual, your posts are funny =)
Continue blogging, yah.
finally, you’re back to your usual self.
good post. more of these and the kenny-haters will even be kenny-lovers in the end.
Love the small talk.
hahaha that’s amazingly funny.
I think I treat my boyfriend like that too… yikes.
HAHAHa! u’r god damn hilarious
Haha..that got me! Its so goddamn ‘luxurious’..
so fucking hilarious…..
HAHAHAHHAHA…. is funny to read this… the opposite restaurant is my high school… i knw the actual story(since i was studying in saratok)… i knw the actual story.. but i prefer urs….lol..(kekkeke)
Hilarious man… Where on earth do you come up with all these? Haha…
Haahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahh so fun!!!! XD
Coconut on, Kenny!!!! ^_~ XD
very funny dude. Luxurious Restaurant selling groceries? Those guy in Saratok must’ve bored to death so they do what’s different from the known world. Trying to be 8tv
Siao Lang. This is dam funny man. My head nearly drop off kekekeke away.
MCH. Ha ha ha ha!!
bravo kenny!! funny as hell!!
Kenny, this is a good one…. LOL
I really love this post.
uwastudent, I’m curious about the actual story. Why on earth is a kedai runcit in Saratok called a ‘Luxurious Restaurant’? At first I thought it could have been a mistranslation of the Chinese name.
Wow the chickens in Saratok are fat (meaning well-bred)! 🙂
Nice one dude!
That was one good hilarious story man. A nice take-off with a good landing. ROFL.
thats one hell of a good stuff man!hee hee hee..luckily you didnt end it with CHOW CHEEBYE!!!HO HO HO!! probably the Tau keh nio bedtime kung fu not good enough to make his hubby listen to her…
Kenny, you’re good .. maybe you can attempt a satirical novel some day when you got tired of blogging. At least it pays (only if it sells ..haha) and no one can accuse you of seeking cheap fame (because by then your fame will no longer be cheap, but only if it sells..)
Keep it up, you’re doing alright and bringing a smile on some faces. And, good luck!
hahahahahaaha cheebye husband
Nice to see the photos. Kenny, please post more photo 🙂
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
u are so funny ^^
My god.. such an elaborated entry to dedicate to 1 picture!
As amusing as always, Kenny.
At least they are both happy. Got kedai runcit and the 5-star restaurant; 2 in 1.
Lmao… this was very funny & surprising. ^.^
Hey Dude, it’s in Saratok..should have words like Chi”P”ai, tiau ah, Ko mo chiet, Tiau nay meh,choy…
kenny…. u can be stand up comedian lar…. really crack me up
Very hilarious and quite creative!
that was LUXURIOUS!!!
what a ghetto slum.
LOL. Anonymous thinks that those english belongs to a ghetto. LOL. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
HAHAHA…this entry rocks dude!! it really got me…
One word mon kapitan. FUCKARAMA!!!
i love you Kennnyyyyy!!
Damn hillarious sia….
wahahaha! dem fat Saratok chicks! oey, 1 ekor for RM11 is expensive leh? sure anot?
Best read I’ve had in ages! Thanks. =)
He gets his way, she gets her way..well, almost..
Damnit man – you could write a comedy screenplay with that language! Ever considered that?
aiyooooo……..sudah salah teruk teruk >aiyooooo……..sudah salah teruk teruk >
LOL Kenny I had no idea the script was going to end this way. Good on you!
kenny, u rocks!
About time you learned the meaning of self-denial. Guess you saw yourself in the mirror this morning.
but how come it’s a grocery shop ??
heh… gender sterotyping… the woman is the one that goes into unreasonable emotional fits while the man is the confused (I don’t understand women, period) rational thinking (twisting logic) breadwinner.
What is with these “cute signs” that you and mr brown have been doing lately.
Hahahahaha. I like the part those goes “RELAX?! WHAT RELAX?! ONLY MY MASSEUSE CAN TELL ME TO RELAX!”. Best!
merf, actually I copied that line from xiaxue without giving her credit for it. heh heh.
lol. this ought to go into your best post list
good one there~
Ha, ha, ha… 😀 Very funny! We all need to lower our expectations of our partners if we want to avoid getting disappointed, don’t we?
i was in bad mood today because of my fever .. when i read this .. it made me grin and laugh after a while … thanks kenny
hahaha.. you have weird names for shops in malaysia…
lol, this just reminds me of the series ‘I LOVE LUCY’.
No matter what, guys are the supreme power after all.. sad to us, gals lor..
you are so creative and funny you made my morning. thank you !
HAHA nice one. luxurious restaurant indeed. what are joke!
Yeah!! A convenience shop namely luxuries restaurant?? Cool man!! Geng ah…. hahaha….
LOL … WTF!
oh man ..this is fucking good ! …hillarious as ever ! Its been quite some time never read such a funny blog from u ! Man ! U r da man !
What makes this so darn funny is that THIS IS SO TRUE!
That was funny shyt man…hahaha. Men..
Man you got me! >XD
Wow.. At first..could not get what you meant..
but when i saw the picture of the store…Was
laughing like anything…
Wonderful imagination …Good Keep it up…
Okay. That was a good one…
hahaha kenny. u so sai de. xPPPPP
*laugh till pengz*
ghahahaha… nice 1 though… good for a laugh 😀
thats what i call.. suami sayang bini.. hahahahaah
damn it.. ahak
OMG . ..
that is like s funny dude !
i didnt know there is a restaurant that sell all those household items at the side man !
Must be to supplement monthly income lah !
hahahahah really funny and good imagination for the story, actually at the beginning is a coffee shop but after few yrs, caused biz not good then straight away tune it to kedai runcit without changing signboard. Beside that, another fact will make u guys laugh is that the owner use the same signboard “luxurious restaurant” to open karaoke biz at 1st floor. hahahha….
The moral of the lesson is don’t spoil your wife too much…Haha
Lol. I think they wanna save budget on the signboard. Reuse the old one. Sahutlah seruan negara. Recycle. Rethink. Reuse.