Living In Denial

Somewhere in the quaint small town of Saratok…

Tau Keh Nio: Darlinggggggggggggg
Tau Keh: Whatttttttttttttttt
Tau Keh Nio: I got something to tell you.
Tau Keh: What is it, my dear?
Tau Keh Nio: My birthday is coming soon, right?
Tau Keh: Yeahhhh.
Tau Keh Nio: You really really love me a lot, right?
Tau Keh: Yeahhhh.
Tau Keh Nio: That means you should do whatever you can to make me happy, right?
Tau Keh: Errr…. yeahhhh?
Tau Keh Nio: Ok. 🙂 I want to open a restaurant.
Tau Keh: Har?
Tau Keh Nio: Not just any restaurant. I want to open a big big 5-star restaurant.
Tau Keh: Lao puo, what cock you talking?

Tau Keh Nio: I want to open a luxurious restaurant. I want Chow Yun Fatt to do the opening ceremony. And then I want to invite Brad Pitt for dinner, Angelina Jolie as MC, and Gwen Stefani to sing on stage.
Oh ya I also want Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to have their wedding here. And I want Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher to come here for honeymoon too.

Tau Keh: Siao. What the hell are you smoking, woman? Excuse me miss but we live in Saratok, not New York. We’re 5 hours away from the nearest international airport and most residents here wouldn’t even spend the kind of money to eat in a 1-star restaurant let alone a 5-star one. Who the hell goes to a 5-star restaurant in the middle of nowhere anyway?
Tau Keh Nio: You don’t want to help me achieve my dream is it? 🙁
Tau Keh: No lah. But at least be realistic with your dreams darling? What freaking luxurious restaurant? Please lah. We only have enough money to start a small kedai runcit (convenience shop) ok?
Tau Keh Nio: YOU AND YOUR KEDAI RUNCIT AGAIN! I’m SO sick and tired of hearing your stupid kedai runcit ok!? Everything is always about YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! What about ME? I married you for 5 years and I gave you everything! See I gave you Ah Boy and Ah Girl, have dinner ready everytime you come home the palm oil estate and ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS YOURSELF?! I sacrifice a lot for you already ok!? I always think of you first. WHAT ABOUT MY GOALS?
Tau Keh: But a restaurant is really…. aiya lao puo don’t like that. Come here I give you hug hug. Relax relax lah.
Tau Keh: Tsk. Say how many times we only have enough money to start a small convenience shop onlyyyyy.
Tau Keh: Aiya darling… how can…? Aiii… ok lah ok lah, I give you your restaurant lah. *sigh*

Tau Keh Nio: Cheebye husband.

At that moment, it felt as if he was standing next to me. I can feel his warmth. I can visualise him smiling at me proudly.

126 Replies to “Living In Denial”

  1. ROFL!!!
    when i read this entry at first i was like…harhhh?????
    and the last picturee…..just explains it all..
    mien kenny ur good! hahaha

  2. Oyyyy Kenny! You must right; make me pissed in my frilly panties! Boey tahan man. 1:44am and I am laughing like hyena until my hubby also wake up. Story so funny must tell friends

  3. Good post, man! Fcukin’ hilarious!!!
    Nearly pissed myself…
    pei lei czar thou (er, the translation to eng sounds hentai, so malay la: kamu buat saya terpegang? XD)

  4. shit kenny!!
    hahahahahaha havent eat my breakfast n u made me laugh like hell!!!luckily my parents are not at home if not they sure think im crazy again!!everyday luaghing in front of the screen!!! u rockss man!!

  5. wahahahaha. hey kenny, my friend said the ‘pizza’ in saratok is good. i duno if he meant by the real pizza, de ones u haf in pizza hut.

  6. Thank you for bringing yet somemore laughter into my life.
    As usual, your posts are funny =)
    Continue blogging, yah.

  7. finally, you’re back to your usual self.
    good post. more of these and the kenny-haters will even be kenny-lovers in the end.

  8. HAHAHAHHAHA…. is funny to read this… the opposite restaurant is my high school… i knw the actual story(since i was studying in saratok)… i knw the actual story.. but i prefer urs….lol..(kekkeke)

  9. very funny dude. Luxurious Restaurant selling groceries? Those guy in Saratok must’ve bored to death so they do what’s different from the known world. Trying to be 8tv

  10. uwastudent, I’m curious about the actual story. Why on earth is a kedai runcit in Saratok called a ‘Luxurious Restaurant’? At first I thought it could have been a mistranslation of the Chinese name.

  11. thats one hell of a good stuff man!hee hee hee..luckily you didnt end it with CHOW CHEEBYE!!!HO HO HO!! probably the Tau keh nio bedtime kung fu not good enough to make his hubby listen to her…

  12. Kenny, you’re good .. maybe you can attempt a satirical novel some day when you got tired of blogging. At least it pays (only if it sells ..haha) and no one can accuse you of seeking cheap fame (because by then your fame will no longer be cheap, but only if it sells..)
    Keep it up, you’re doing alright and bringing a smile on some faces. And, good luck!

  13. heh… gender sterotyping… the woman is the one that goes into unreasonable emotional fits while the man is the confused (I don’t understand women, period) rational thinking (twisting logic) breadwinner.

  14. lol, this just reminds me of the series ‘I LOVE LUCY’.
    No matter what, guys are the supreme power after all.. sad to us, gals lor..

  15. oh man ..this is fucking good ! …hillarious as ever ! Its been quite some time never read such a funny blog from u ! Man ! U r da man !

  16. Wow.. At first..could not get what you meant..
    but when i saw the picture of the store…Was
    laughing like anything…
    Wonderful imagination …Good Keep it up…

  17. hahahahah really funny and good imagination for the story, actually at the beginning is a coffee shop but after few yrs, caused biz not good then straight away tune it to kedai runcit without changing signboard. Beside that, another fact will make u guys laugh is that the owner use the same signboard “luxurious restaurant” to open karaoke biz at 1st floor. hahahha….

  18. Lol. I think they wanna save budget on the signboard. Reuse the old one. Sahutlah seruan negara. Recycle. Rethink. Reuse.

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