United Colors of Benetton Condoms

I was walking around Watson’s in Sarawak Plaza today, and guess what I found?
UCB Condom on rack
That can’t be… United Colors of Benetton CONDOMS ?! For the uninitiated, United Colors of Benetton (or UCB) is a clothing company group based in Italy. The brand is famous for its young adult clothes and bags. For them to produce condoms?! That’s really kinda odd.
UCB Condom box
Curious, I plonked RM9.90 and purchased a box of UCB condoms right away. The box comes with 6 condoms, which works out to be RM1.65 per fuck. What a bargain!
Green wrapping
The UCB condoms come with a green wrapping with overprints of the United Colors of Benetton logo. Because of its designer brand name, I’m pretty sure it would make any girl all horny and say something like “Put that on you and put it in me… RIGHT NOW!”
Expiry date
On the reverse of the wrapper, it says “Manufactured by Okamoto Industries. Made in Japan. Exp 2008/03”. Japanese condoms! So, it must be good, right?
All the condoms are lightly lubricated and all comes in green. I’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure its not meant to make your male member look like some sort of vegetable.
Condom teat
This is how much the reservoir teat of the condom can hold. Honestly speaking that’s not very much.

Broken condom
I pulled a bit too hard when I was removing the condom, which resulted in condom breakage – an undesirable effect. So much for Japanese condoms huh? At least we know what that says about Japanese penises.
Unwilling to accept defeat, I pulled out the Galliano bottle.
Galliano with condom
And this is the Galliano bottle, now fully protected against all STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
So, should you try it? My advice is this: If you have a small and thin penis like the Galliano bottle, you could perhaps impress your female partner by using this designer branded condoms. (Meanwhile, you might want to pray that Louis Vuitton does not release some RM500 LV monogram-printed condom or something like that.)
But if you’re big like ermm… like me, don’t use UCB branded condoms and just stick with Durex or Ansell ok? 🙂

23 Replies to “United Colors of Benetton Condoms”

  1. omg that’s hilarious. although, they should really reconsider their packaging. that asian guy and the white guy with the bleached hair (oh and the androgynous girl with the uber short hair) is a turn off :/

  2. Alli – I agree! I’m not sure which smartass came up with the super idea of putting people’s faces on a condom box. Imagine having that on the bedside table whilst having sex. Its like 6 people watching you shagging lah!
    Look at their faces… its like they’re watching some live porn!

  3. love d idea of designer condoms, bf’s such a label slut i’d hv 2 get him a box sum day.. but i guess if it doesnt fit evn d sauce bottle he wont hv much use 4 it *mischievious grin*

  4. tsk tsk..things you do when you’re bored. REALLY. go scout kueh chap or something =) though i think it’s pretty cool tht u spotted them – definately a thing that i’ll go check out when i’m back – designers in lil Kch? that’s like ..a visit from the Queen of England? Hehe.

  5. Irene – Hey hey hey… That’s cos your bf has Irene the marketing student to sell “information about him” to the public! I tried asking for someone to help me spread “the information” too, but the someone replied with a ‘Dream On!’.
    That’s why I had to do a bit of “Direct Sales” myself. *sigh*

  6. On the reverse of the wrapper, it says “Manufactured by Okamoto Industries. Made in Japan. Exp 2008/03”. Japanese condoms! So, it must be good, right?

  7. Okamoto is the best condoms in the world, much better than Durex. They are longer and the material is thinner. The “Ultra Thin” is the best.

  8. i only support malaysian made brand
    that would be durex…
    internationally known but 100% made in malaysia..
    except for de R&D part lah
    It’s all good man . . . i’m user of durex LOVE condoms

  9. oohh my god..i will have sex with my friend..and we have talked that we will buy UCOB condoms..coz they are good..and..i was searching in internet about it and i have found it..omg..sure that i wont buy them…i will buy just durex..i know that it’s more safesly..than others :)Jaa and my bf’s dick..not so small :);)

  10. Dear Sir,
    Kindly provide us Condoms detail and price. I have interested your established at Pakistan
    local market. So please give me detail price list with size and Air and Sea Freight charges with our
    brand name.

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