Reader Contributed Engrish!

Immediately after I published my last entry on Shanghai Engrish, a couple of people have e-mailed me photos of Engrish they’ve spotted around China.

Spotted on the box of a massage chair:

Instead of helping you relieve the fatigue, this massage chair wants you to RELIVE the fatigue!

(Submitted by Sim Teong Chuan)
From a hotel toilet in HangZhou, China:

Be careful of wet floor!

(via Leonard Png, who got it from an e-mail)
From a restaurant menu in a Chinese three-star hotel:

“Picks” = chop

“Three texts cure” = sandwich
God knows what the hell they meant by “many privates”.
(More Engrish at Leonard Png’s Flickr set)

Of all the Engrish restaurant menus I came across, this one really takes the cake.
(via Weddy’s War Zone)

(More Engrish at brendyweddy)

I just watched Survivor: Guatemala for the first time just now. Why is it that every season, they pick the same mix of people on the show? For crying out loud, all the female contestants look like carbon copies of contestants from the last few seasons.

96 Replies to “Reader Contributed Engrish!”

  1. I think I know what their “f*ck” means. Direct translation from dry (gan) probably straight from an electronic dictionary cos my friend was selling this product where all the English on the packing is horrichible vegetable standard like “Wipe f*ck your face”

  2. First off, let me just say, I laughed my ass off with the “Engrish” man!!!
    And secondly, I agree with you about the Survivor thingy. I stopped regularly watching the show after season 3 when i too made that conclusion..

  3. First off, let me just say, I laughed my ass off with the “Engrish” man!!!
    And secondly, I agree with you about the Survivor thingy. I stopped regularly watching the show after season 3 when i too made that conclusion..

  4. I remember reading this from the newspaper during World Cup 2002!!!
    In Korea, in some hotel, they offer message taking or something. Instead of putting “Take your message here” or something, it reads “Take your massage here” and caused some confusion among the Koreans and the foreigns!!! Hehehe!!!~

  5. Obviously the language translation software they use was really ‘lurus’ and ‘word by word’.
    The fuck is GAN as KAN in KNN. Hahaha…
    And I thought ‘Batang Ria’ was funny enough already…

  6. ‘many privates’ = the ‘privates’ probably is directly translated: (shi) is a foot soldier/cadet in chinese chess.

    ok information overload. 😛

  8. the words for sandwich and toast is a common one used by the Hong Kong ppl long time ago. If u go to HK and have breakfast or tea or watever you can see it everywhere.
    sandwich = sam man zhi (cantonese)sounds like sandwich
    toast = sai doe si (cantonese) means western toast
    doesn’t mean anything.. just the sound of the words put together.
    The gan for f*ck is a very common mistake in china/macau. Seen it before. you guys are right. It’s a direct translation.

  9. hello, somebody should go to china and work with them to make proper signage! must be good money and im sure the gov. will be glad to pay???
    check it out!

  10. Sometimes I wonder hor.. scali our textbooks are teaching us the rude words all the while, and people elsewhere might be laughing at our engrish instead.
    but baby, this one cracked me up. 🙂

  11. yea, mistakes in translation to english in asian signs are pretty funny… but wouldn’t it be interesting to see a reverse of the “engrish” bashing? and voila!! here it is!! vs.
    here’s a sample in case you’re wondering…
    look at image here:
    “Granted the character was done correctly, but the question still remains: What is the purpose of having ? (excrement; feces) tattooed on one’s leg?”

  12. Yeah G’NA, U remind of my friend’s ang mo friend, who wanna get a tatoo “In God We Trust” in chinese characters. Guess what my friend gave him in chinese. “Wo Sin Seng” in chinese character. LOL.

  13. i just showed my China friend your entry and he told me that restaurants in China (excluding Shanghai and Beijing) uses the online translator to translate chinese character to engrishhh. No wonder they have the privates as sandwiches. LOL.

  14. Oh… dear… god… Hillarious! XD
    I remembered that there was one dry cleaner somewhere with the sign outside, saying:
    “Drop your pants here for best results.”
    and a sign outside a japanese hotel (i think):
    “You are welcome to take advantage of the chambermaid.”
    Misleading, yes? XD

  15. once in a small place shoppin complex near guangzhou
    instead of writing “mind your head”
    they directly wrote “xiao xin peng tou”
    my mum who knows no chinese had to ask me what it means..

  16. no lah kenny ! you need to follow the whole series of survivor in order to appreciate the dynamics of the particular game. and they don’t all look the same please, take it from this survivor fan. (:

  17. TreVesco – it doesn’t look like they actually learn English at all. All they seem to learn is the word fuck and then use it any which way they can..

  18. omg?
    don’t they KNOW? that’s a universal language that they’re speaking!
    the first menu.. i like how when u’re at lost for words, u just use a mandarin one that no one understands anyway =_=

  19. Just dropping by a line to add on opinion about Asian Weblog Award 2005. I am not good reader but occassional reader to read entertaining and interesting elements in blogger’s website especially Kenny, Xiaxue and Scarlett Ting. I noted Mr Brown has got a huge of voters compared XiaXue’s voters. Mr Brown sometimes put the link of Asian Weblog Award 2005 in each of his entry to hopefully gain voters whereas Xiaxue didn’t put the link somehow. That could explain why Mr Brown has got a rise in the number of voters? Looks like Xiaxue never plan strategy but let it be natural. Salute with the way she doing.
    Last but not least, hilarious entries, Kenny. Keep the good work up. Hope you enjoy your trip to KL and have fun. Wishing you have a great season greetings.
    p/s:I am not Xiaxue’s fan. Just pouring my opinion whatever is in my mind only. No offence, please. Or just in case for those who take the offence, I apologise.

  20. MUAHAHAHHAA!!! THIS REALLY CRACKED ME UP SO HARD!!! btw, the “privates” meant “soldiers” i suspect…direct translation from the chinese character stated lah! =D

  21. This is what happens when you use unqualified foreigners to do your work, no matter how ell they do at your interviews! Being native does mean they speak good native tongue, never invite trouble with allowing an American gardener applying for a job as an English teacher!

  22. theres still one i remember ” qing bao chi gan jing” (please keep the are clean) and it was translated into “please keep cleaning”

  23. The ‘privates’ in “many privates” refers to the military rank. Duo = many. Shi = privates.
    Noticed all the translations were literal. Probably they did individual word translation from the internet translation engine.

  24. I pray that China nation will improve someday…
    Infact, we should not have just looking at those mistakes, anyone ever thinks and admits that there are China people nowadays could speak English as well as the British or American? At least, even sounds much more better than so called, “Manglish” or “Singlish”.

  25. ya…those stupid ppl in china doesn’t know how to translate….i believe there’s something called the “DICTIONARY” in china 2….through i’m also chinese….those ppl should learn more english…they swearing …how stupid…

  26. The 士 in 多士 also means soldier, pawn, so I guess a Private. So … Many Privates.

  27. I take offense to the racist comment by ‘law’. “chinks aree really stupid huh..i think its they eyes”. Based on your mistakes-prone comment, it looks like you are the stupid one. I would refer your readers to which shows pictures and pictures of fools who know absolutely nothing about Chinese characters and yet have shit tattooed all over their bodies.

  28. totally hilarious man ! ! !
    you have really made the day for some1
    at least i get to continue living life to the fullest at other peoples expense !

  29. While you laugh at the translation, just be aware non Chinese speakers who learn Mandarin make similar stupid mistakes when they translate from English to Chinese.
    For those of you who are Chinese who think you are not, look in the mirror and you will see how disgusting you look.
    I am Chinese Malaysian and proud of being a Chinese. I do not laugh at my own people. While the translation look funny, I laugh but I don’t judge. I always remember where my ancestors come from.
    If you laugh and think you are somehow superior, you are laughing at your own incompetence and your own insecurity.

  30. I saw one from an email, really ridiculars one at that too… The photo was taken in a supermarket, where they had this sign called “gan huo” meaning dried food stuff, but they directly translated in below the chinese words on the sign as “fuck goods”

  31. I think their government ought to do something so they won’t humiliate all the chinese in the world. Even me myself is feeling embarased to see all these.. craps…

  32. “Shi” in chinese can be said as soldiers, or in current terms, “private”, ever heard of “Shi bin”
    Without the “bin” many people wouldn’t understand either.

  33. This blog really make my day. Had a really good laugh which is rare these days. Thanks Kenny.
    Anyway, after reading this, I was just thinking to myself, I wouldn’t want the Chinese translating 干妈. Just thought it’s gonna sound really bad.

  34. These guys are not just poor in English. They are downright retarded. Imagine translating the Chinese rendering of toast (duoshi) as “many privates”. “duo” as many and “shi” as army private.
    And the “pa” in pork chop is translated as pick as in pickpocket (pa shou).
    Downright retarded.

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