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07 December 2005
Short Talk:
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Everiday Shanghai Engrish
A correction collection of Engrish spotted during my last trip to Shanghai.
Outside Xiang Yang Market:

Golf equipment specialty store
At the Maglev train station:

Entrance To Train Rides
They obviously don't like you here. Good riddance!

I'm supposed to walk through the wall?
Who do you think I am? The Incredible Hulk?

Shanghai train stations are not like Singapore MRT stations. You are allowed to take photos here, as long as you are shot in good manner.
Outside a restaurant serving western food:

Tan Ah Beng went to Shanghai and opened a Westerngstyle restaurant

Specialties
They also serve special food for special people like you and me!
Carrefour Shanghai's Price Guarantee:

Let's go Carrefour buy some bang products!
(The word 'bang' in this case is the direct translation of the Chinese word °ô (bang4), which means 'good quality')

This Mr Brown dunno how to zhng his car, so he became a coffee milk mascot instead.
Mobile phone charging station:

Shanghai people don't charge their phones. They electrify it.
And my personal favourite:

Third Annual Liang Yang Community Friendly Soccer Match.
Dunno why suddenly got antithetical couplet ocean coming up.
:: Posted by Kenny at 12:00 PM | Link |
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:: Categorised as 'Engrish'
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98 Comments:
lol!! this is damned funny =D especially love the mr brown, hp and soccer 1. =D
Posted by: jq at 07 December 2005 12:20 PM | Link to comment
Special food for special people?
Posted by: suertes at 07 December 2005 12:25 PM | Link to comment
Dear Kenny,
I have been reading our posts for the past few days and I just wanna tell you that I really like the way you write. I envy your writing flair and I really hope that I can have that as well. Anyways, just wanna say I hope that you will blog more often say maybe about twice a day so I will have something to do...by the way, I read through your posts from day 1 til now....anyways do post more often...
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 07 December 2005 12:30 PM | Link to comment
HAHAHA.. can't stop laufing! *rofl*
Posted by: cy at 07 December 2005 12:31 PM | Link to comment
Yeah No5!!!
Hahaha the China english so weird wan leh,... hahaha
Posted by: Kuchingite27 at 07 December 2005 12:44 PM | Link to comment
China tries too hard going West..
Posted by: fcuk-gressive at 07 December 2005 12:50 PM | Link to comment
7th!!haha...im now living in Japan...japanese english more weird than this
Posted by: Mr.Donut at 07 December 2005 12:54 PM | Link to comment
mahai I read the signs till sweating man !!!
Posted by: Wingz at 07 December 2005 1:00 PM | Link to comment
the last one is damn chim! WTF??!!??
Posted by: brendywendy at 07 December 2005 1:03 PM | Link to comment
Oh god,I think the Shanghainese people have to go for English lessons.
The train one is funny.
Kenny,in Singapore MRT stations they do put a sign saying 'no cameras'
Posted by: Jenn at 07 December 2005 1:06 PM | Link to comment
Its not as if Malaysia's english is damn good also
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 07 December 2005 1:09 PM | Link to comment
Awesome post. I remember flying China Eastern a few years ago, they printed "please do not steal the airplane" on the wrapping of their plastic eating utensils.
In case anyone is wondering what "lines of cantion" is:
cantion
\Can"tion\, n. [L. cantio, from canere to sing.] A song or verses. [Obs.] --Spenser.
Fooyoh...almost as 'power' as the "antithetical couplet ocean"
Posted by: fruitopia at 07 December 2005 1:12 PM | Link to comment
this is just.....Sad.....
oh my gosh! i am trying so hard not to laugh out loud here at my office!!
Posted by: bC at 07 December 2005 1:16 PM | Link to comment
haha, damn funny this one.
Posted by: amrod at 07 December 2005 1:24 PM | Link to comment
This is nothing, go to the provinces of China, like Hainan, you will find engrish that is totally incomprehensible, beyond anything that you have seen before.
Posted by: Vidar Lund at 07 December 2005 1:37 PM | Link to comment
LOL that is funny!! shang hai pple so gay kiang? act smart only
Posted by: ahd0t at 07 December 2005 1:57 PM | Link to comment
kenny,
www.engrish.com
u might wanna contribute here
Posted by: terry at 07 December 2005 2:14 PM | Link to comment
The Chinese'll get there. At least they're still better than the Koreans. Gosh, even my phone menu goes by Engrish.... or Konglish ~ whatever you wanna callit!
Posted by: Vincent at 07 December 2005 2:17 PM | Link to comment
suddenly, malaysians aren't so bad after all. phew!
Posted by: mikey at 07 December 2005 2:51 PM | Link to comment
hahahaha!!! luv the one from Carrefour! i was wondering what does the "bang" mean?! hahahah ... so farnie.
Posted by: Adrienne at 07 December 2005 3:00 PM | Link to comment
Magnetic levitation....that's taking it too literally.
Posted by: Nick at 07 December 2005 3:01 PM | Link to comment
Kenny, very nice post. Really gimme a good laugh. ^_^
Posted by: fish fish at 07 December 2005 3:08 PM | Link to comment
Im wondering why they like to use boombastic words when it doesnt make sense in the first place.
Posted by: Aileen at 07 December 2005 3:16 PM | Link to comment
O_o the signs dun mke any sense! lol! where did they learn their engrish? haha
Posted by: Melissa at 07 December 2005 3:24 PM | Link to comment
Simply Bantai Syndrome strikes again!
When once I said, 'Give them a chance, these people are trying,' the reply came back, 'Yes, very trying.' What to do?
Posted by: plink at 07 December 2005 3:49 PM | Link to comment
I guess "cantion" actually is "caution" ;)
Posted by: Sebastian at 07 December 2005 3:57 PM | Link to comment
Obviously, most of the hilarious Engrish we see in China (or any other places, like our Motherland Malaysia) are results of direct translation from other languages.
Chinese (and other languages) has its own little special twists that convey exaggerated meanings, like how English has puns. My point is, Chinese people usually think of a great "tagline" or something for their signboards, and they refer to the dictionary for a direct translation. That is also the problem with us, people who are trying to learn English as a second/third language.
We should all understand the language to learn it, instead of learning it through another language as a medium. After all, "zhuan mai" is not necessarily done by monopolying the market.
Posted by: Siah Tiong Hong at 07 December 2005 4:02 PM | Link to comment
i love this post! u crack me up!
Posted by: mei at 07 December 2005 4:14 PM | Link to comment
I love Engrish. What amazes me is that there's a whole country out there that understands it!!
Posted by: Lainie at 07 December 2005 4:27 PM | Link to comment
lolz... You made my day sia! :)
If I were to die in front of the comp. I must be reading Kenny's blog. I died laughing. wahahahahaha...
Posted by: uglyfatchick at 07 December 2005 5:04 PM | Link to comment
Oui shit. What the hell was all that? They should at least refer to a dictionary or something before printing all those. They didnt realise that it's humiliating their own country with all those. But it's one good thing to laugh at though..
Posted by: Victor at 07 December 2005 5:19 PM | Link to comment
Omg. I'd be so lost there if I couldn't understand Mandarin.
Posted by: Muchakucha at 07 December 2005 6:48 PM | Link to comment
Good one Kenny... Of course I've been hearing and reading broken English so often, this post doesnt seem as funny to me as it should be. Damnit!!!
Posted by: Mike at 07 December 2005 6:54 PM | Link to comment
Walao... all this in a big city like SHANGHAI???
Hmmm.... Not only do they need to clean up their famous toilets for Beinjing 2008, but erm...their english signage etc too....
That said though.... it's damn funny! Hehe :P
Posted by: Ashley at 07 December 2005 7:46 PM | Link to comment
i pity them... they want to prove that their English is as good as everyone else's, and end up using words even people don't know, and end up kena laughed at. aiyah, use basic English lah! so simple!
Posted by: snn at 07 December 2005 7:54 PM | Link to comment
hahaha...i really enjoy reading your blog coz it's always so funny!
Posted by: skinko at 07 December 2005 7:59 PM | Link to comment
Hi, Kenny, enjoy your post...discovered something in the sign for hp charging...the word "destoried"...the people basically created their own version, maybe shanghailish (as in singlish?)..thanks for the laughs..
Posted by: desmond33 at 07 December 2005 8:16 PM | Link to comment
arr.. so funny... hmm.. i going shanghai soon.. i wonder will i get to see the same thing when i go there? hmmm
Posted by: aprilcherrie at 07 December 2005 8:17 PM | Link to comment
hey kenny. i went there last month. i took hell lot of picture just like you did. but my all time favourite was this signboard directing us to the "PUBIC PHONE". there's another one i found in the hotel's bathroom beside the bathtub. they wrote "BEWARE OF LANDSLIDE". my fcking god. i seriously laughed my ass off. the whole bloody night.
Posted by: julie at 07 December 2005 8:56 PM | Link to comment
You are unique! I like your creative way of writing. Keep it up. We are hungry for more :D
Posted by: Jo at 07 December 2005 9:48 PM | Link to comment
Mr Brown coffee has been around for at least decade. It's from Taiwan, btw.
Posted by: YC at 07 December 2005 9:51 PM | Link to comment
haha, that's so funny, reminds me of furongjiejie and her chop up Chinklish =)
Posted by: shortylam at 07 December 2005 11:02 PM | Link to comment
Even Carrefour is screwed up? I thought they always have foreigners (or in this case, French people) as their managers?
Posted by: coppersnare at 07 December 2005 11:25 PM | Link to comment
Looks like someone's been overly reliant on Babelfish. 'Antithetical couplet ocean indeed'...
Posted by: Hai~Ren at 08 December 2005 12:01 AM | Link to comment
wad does ZHNG means?
Posted by: jy at 08 December 2005 12:20 AM | Link to comment
one of the funniest chinese to english translation we were shown in our translation class was the translation of dried food (gan huo or something) the translation came out "fuck goods" and it's used in an actual supermarket.
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 08 December 2005 12:28 AM | Link to comment
I THINK YOU HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORM ABOUT "ENGRISH" IN SHANGHAI, KENNY. IT IS APPALLING TO KNOW THE STATE OF ENGRISH IN SHANGHAI. WHAT MORE WITH THE HOSTING OF "OLYMPRICKS", THIS IS GOING TO BE AN EMBARASSMENT. IF YOU COULD KINDLY EXTEND THEM A FAVOUR AND SEND SOME SAMPLES TO MAYOR OF SHANGHAI TO BUCK UP .....MORAL OF THE STORY IS IF YOU WANNA TRANSLATE, DO IT RIGHT. IF NOT, NEITHER HERE NOR THERE..BETTER OFF STICK TO OFFICIAL MANDARIN
Posted by: HOCKEEY at 08 December 2005 12:56 AM | Link to comment
maybe they use google translate. or they use the kenny engrish transalate web tool?
Posted by: James at 08 December 2005 3:57 AM | Link to comment
no. u can't walk across the wall if you're incredible hulk. only Harry Potter can do so!.....well.. at Platform 3/4
Posted by: vss3t at 08 December 2005 6:24 AM | Link to comment
haha...
In my 3 mths in SHanghai, I saw this brand of mineral water called "WHAHA Mineral Water". WHAHAHA.
I actually saw a sign board of a sex condom kinda shop near Shanghai's Raffles Place...
It says "Good Good Sex in Shanghai Healthcare thing."
Posted by: kit fan at 08 December 2005 8:33 AM | Link to comment
And oh ya... I went to Hagendas Icecream at Shanghai Raffles Place and the toilet sign says "Toilot".
Posted by: kit fan at 08 December 2005 8:38 AM | Link to comment
To coppersnare - the french are just as bad as the chinese - they eat frogs too. What would you expect?
Posted by: suertes at 08 December 2005 8:55 AM | Link to comment
once again, funny shit u write
Posted by: kelvin at 08 December 2005 9:51 AM | Link to comment
lol? not sure if you noticed, but i believe they just called the lifts "magnetic levitations" LOL!!!!
Posted by: panda at 08 December 2005 10:07 AM | Link to comment
These Chinese mainlanders really make us laugh out loud with their broken English :D If it's not for their terrible English, we wouldn't have gotten such free entertainment from by reading their signs ;p
Posted by: Michael Chua at 08 December 2005 10:18 AM | Link to comment
panda : magnetic levitation is for their high speed trains :) maglev in short.
Posted by: WD at 08 December 2005 10:37 AM | Link to comment
Hahahaha awesome Engrish there, you should submit some to www.engrish.com
Posted by: Quit Smoking at 08 December 2005 11:16 AM | Link to comment
That Japan of residents play monopoly this englis word slippery grip come soon no more.
Posted by: Kurt at 08 December 2005 11:24 AM | Link to comment
They do have "Magnetic Levitation" trains connecting Shanghai aka MagLev.
Posted by: BJ at 08 December 2005 11:27 AM | Link to comment
Micheal Chua> u bet! its really difficult to understand what they say.... but conversely if u attempt to speak their PU TONG HUA, I guess it's their turn to laugh at us.
Posted by: Souplad at 08 December 2005 11:49 AM | Link to comment
Magnetic Levitation is the technology used by Siemens etc to float the train, I think the Shanghai MagLev train line is the 1st one built outside of Germany, you can laugh and chide at the mainland chinese command of english but you will have to look up to them in these high tech infrastructure they are racing to install in their country.
Posted by: johnny at 08 December 2005 12:08 PM | Link to comment
hahahahaha...i just can't stop laughing, esp the last one...
*ROFL*
Posted by: Jeremy C at 08 December 2005 2:40 PM | Link to comment
hmm... ya ya, the English is bad, but bearing in mind that it was directly translated from mandarin, doesn't it also highlight what a sophisticated and poetic people the chinese are...
"Antithetical couplet"
"lines of cantion"
... fantastic, man!
If only we in the English-speaking world used such language:
"Buy Proton: The staccato of the campro engine, like iambic pentameter, will reverbrate throughout your soul"
hahaha
Posted by: Visitor at 08 December 2005 4:49 PM | Link to comment
Yer....Why sho farny one?
Posted by: obi meowz at 08 December 2005 4:59 PM | Link to comment
google translate seems widely used in Shanghai!
Posted by: Kenny Lee at 08 December 2005 7:13 PM | Link to comment
Oh my! hahaha. I can hardly understand half the stuff written! hilarious!
Posted by: Mei at 08 December 2005 8:11 PM | Link to comment
James may be right about them using Google translation. Anyone out there wanna try and show us some results?
Posted by: KP at 08 December 2005 8:52 PM | Link to comment
lolx... i believe the first pic about the restaurant... shows the sign saying actually "Chinese-Western Fusion Cuisine"
there is room for improvement back in china i guess...
Posted by: khwai at 09 December 2005 12:17 AM | Link to comment
How about Singlish? I'm sure they'll pick up "Singlish" Very the kin!
Posted by: HaMz at 09 December 2005 12:32 AM | Link to comment
I took a few pix of signboards too when i visited China for 12 days end of last year. Their awful engreesh really cracked me up and its the only thing i look forward to snap on the digicam thru out the tour.
Posted by: Acey at 09 December 2005 2:48 AM | Link to comment
I was amazed at their english, thus make me believe that the email of their english menu is true!! maybe you would like to take a look.
hey, how can i add it as a trackback to this entry like in tomorrow.sg?
Posted by: Leonard at 09 December 2005 9:46 AM | Link to comment
I was amazed at their english, thus make me believe that the email of their english menu is true!! maybe you would like to take a look.
hey, how can i add it as a trackback to this entry like in tomorrow.sg?
Posted by: Leonard at 09 December 2005 9:47 AM | Link to comment
ROFL. Omg. As funny as the stuff on Engrish.com.
Posted by: phoenix at 09 December 2005 9:08 PM | Link to comment
I juz got back from Shanghai. Yupz..lotsa of interesting stuff esp at Xiang Yang. Their LV bags even have dust covers !!!
And their Frank Muller watches' mechanisms are just like the real thingy. Took a few interesting photos too n was juz done with posting them up. :)
Posted by: zuj at 09 December 2005 10:51 PM | Link to comment
LoL...
never knew their ang moh so terok...
Posted by: Wei De at 10 December 2005 5:32 PM | Link to comment
omg. you know what's even funnier? the fact that these people who mock and laugh at the awful english actually USE awful english when they comment! so chao ah lian/beng!
so eww, my milk wanted to curdle up and die.
Posted by: michelle at 14 December 2005 1:35 PM | Link to comment
yu'r yeng~~
Posted by: soo at 15 December 2005 12:44 AM | Link to comment
u have really, really funny stuff here. seriously made me lmao. this just proves how bad their english is. china standard. LOL
Posted by: a.S.a at 15 December 2005 2:13 PM | Link to comment
i saw few in guang zhou too.
i remember the sign of Slippery Floor, they wrote it Becareful of Landslide.
Posted by: kelvin at 19 December 2005 1:53 PM | Link to comment
uh hello? dude i think you got to brush up on your own language skills before you go lampoon people like that. i mean you can't actually blame them. english is just not their thing ok? plus all your digs? despite you trying to be all cutting edge and stuff? its so bad it actually falls one short of being lame. so like? go screw yourself, pal.
you want cutting edge? visit www.bryanboy.com. HE'S the real cutting edge mod cool shiznit.
Posted by: anonymous at 20 December 2005 7:20 PM | Link to comment
home loans http://www.homeloans-now.com
Posted by: home loans at 26 December 2005 11:07 AM | Link to comment
To be honest, I think they are doing a good job to entertain everyone of us but we should not have laugh at them as they have 99.99% population who learn one language "Mandarin". They are doing these signboard so that you jerks (whoever that is laughing yet could not read Mandarin words and having difficulty understanding it) could visit China without problem looking for "Toilot". I bet Malaysian will be a laughing stock if the whole country is going to convert all signboard to "German" or "French". Guess you need to learn "Be Considerate"
Posted by: Sebastian at 31 December 2005 4:53 PM | Link to comment
sebastian..so angry meh?we're not laughin at them la but we juz cant help but 2 feel amused bah.ok la,next time we all NEED TO LEARN BE CONSIDERATE.wateva that means.LOL..
ive a hsemate from china & i find her engrish 2 b somewhat funny also.but i respect these kinda ppl cuz at least they're tryin,rite or not? so yeah..we shud give 'em sum credit la kan?
Posted by: butterfly at 19 January 2006 11:39 PM | Link to comment
Take it easy, pal. i believe kenny doesn't mean to humuliate anybody. you got to agree that most of our daily laughters come from teasing our friends or family members.
this funny translation happen when we do word by word direct translation from one language to another one. but what puzzle me is their courage of publicize the translation which they don't even know what it means. probably because people who knows english (including the china citizens themselves) not bother to help to correct the mistake.
Posted by: seiho at 16 March 2006 4:09 PM | Link to comment
Well, you can't really expect every nook and cranny of Shanghai to hire a translator and publisher that revises their signs. Half that people can't even tell anyways.
That was a good laugh though.
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 21 March 2006 9:22 AM | Link to comment
This is so funny!
Posted by: coffee at 24 March 2006 9:48 AM | Link to comment
n oso the destroid??electrify??
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 01 April 2006 5:16 PM | Link to comment
Hey guys, if you are wondering how these "Excellent" Engilishi came from, try it out by traslating a phase from english to chinese using a online translation program. You will get the same result!!!!
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 26 April 2006 1:23 AM | Link to comment
I just dont understand how you can make fun with those Mainland Chinese's English. You should understand what's their culture and how they were all brought up using Mandarin. Shame on those who make fun out of this.
Posted by: Eric at 26 July 2006 10:19 PM | Link to comment
i couldn't believe that those ppl who make fun of chinese english, do you think u ppl speak good english,i ve been to malaysia 3 times and what my impression is ppl speak creappy english with a crappy funny accent. English is a pretty much new thing for china and the mainly language there which is Mandarin...so how can u expect that ppl has a high leavel of enlgish? and i am sure those native speakers would laugh at malaysia english as well
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 29 January 2007 5:43 AM | Link to comment
I think we cannot blame the China pple...coz they do not grow up learning English..As with the taiwanese too but some of them can really speak pretty good english though. Dun be surprised. ^_^
Posted by: Sherbie at 30 January 2007 9:45 AM | Link to comment
tat charging battery thingy, destroyed oso they spelled wrong.. => destroied..
Posted by: eVa at 09 May 2007 11:24 PM | Link to comment
I've seen this in Shanghai on the menu: "the crab fries the noodles". I thought, "I got to see that."
Posted by: Ruben at 16 July 2007 11:01 PM | Link to comment
Ive seen a sign at carrefour gubei in Shanghai which says 'No Playing On The Stars' which was refering to the walkalator
Posted by: Nick at 14 November 2007 1:46 PM | Link to comment
kdsk
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 21 December 2007 3:01 PM | Link to comment
LZ is a big shabi if there was ever a shabi in the world.
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 21 December 2007 3:03 PM | Link to comment
"Mr Brown coffee has been around for at least decade. It's from Taiwan, btw."
Actually, it is quite popular here in Europe.
Posted by: Alan at 17 February 2008 8:17 PM | Link to comment
Zan Here Ning mm Gang engerish!!
Posted by: Victoria at 11 March 2008 1:00 AM | Link to comment


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