It’s Been A Year Since You’re Gone

Dear Papa,

It’s been a year since you left us. How are you holding up? Hope you’re enjoying your holidays. I wonder what you are doing right now. Most probably relaxing on your rocking chair, smoking your favourite cigarette, sipping on black coffee. Just like before.
You always liked my coffee. Been a while since I made coffee for you isn’t it? How’s the coffee like over there? Are they any better than Starbucks?
Things sure felt a little different since you left. For one, we had a really quiet Chinese New Year this year. Mom, Bro and Sis were all overseas at the time. I was the only one who stayed back home.
It certainly felt strange visiting friends and families on my own for the first time. I missed the times when we would wake up really early, eat ‘long-life noodles’ and do our visiting as a family. There’s even one year when we all donned traditional Chinese costumes for CNY, remember? We all look really cute and funny. That was one of the fondest memories I had of Chinese New Year when you’re around.
On CNY eve, I had my Reunion Dinner with the cousins instead. Before the dinner, I still called out “Pa, chi. Mi, chi” out of habit. How silly of me! I forgot this year you’re not on the table with us.
Hey, our house is gonna going through renovations soon. I saw the drawings and it looks great. Mom has been real stressed out because she doesn’t have you around to discuss things. It upsets me sometimes to see her in the state she’s in. You know how much Mom misses you. It’s been a year and Mom still thinks of you every single day. Well, Mother’s Day is coming and I plan to do something special for her.

Sister is moving to New Zealand later this month. Her two beautiful kids are growing up quick. Jayden is really smart and inquisitive, always pestering his mother to teach him new words. Her 17-month-old Kirsten is still learning how to walk. That clumsy little girl is always falling down all over the place, then she’ll start crying non-stop. Haha. Sis really has her hands full taking care of those two little monkeys. Poor sis.
As for me, work is going ok. There’s a lot of travelling. It’s a little stressful at first but I find myself getting into the thick of things already. I just need to manage my time better to take care of many things at once. Don’t worry, I’ll try my best.
Business is doing well. In fact, it’s growing strong and better than ever. But you know how it’s like. When you’re on top there’s always people out there wanting to bring you down. Last week my friend told me he heard people spreading false rumours about you having sold off your business. Haha. What a foolish joke. I can imagine you bent over laughing with us if you’re still around. Please forgive them though. It’s the small town mentality. They don’t know better.
To be honest, we didn’t quite feel like you’re gone sometimes. Your office is still the same as when you left it. The lights are still switched on, your desk still wiped and cleaned everyday. At times, it feel like you’re only gone for a few days travelling and that one day you might come back.

You know, I bump into your friends pretty often these days. They would always speak fondly of you, sharing with me precious memories of you they have. The few of us would chat and laugh happily as we recall the Chinese idioms and analogies you’ve taught us. I would chuckle and tell them that the first Malay sentence you taught me was “tiap tiap pagi, saya mengosok gigi.”
It never fails to amaze me how much detail your friends and colleagues can remember about you, right down to which laksa stall was your favourite and where you used to sit in the coffee shops. That’s how deeply you’ve touched their lives. Words you’ve said to them so long ago still stay fresh in their mind, as if they’ve only just talked to you last week.
Ahhh… memories. I remember when I was about 4 or 5, I fell asleep in the car once and you carried me to my bedroom and tucked me in to sleep. I liked that so much I would always pretend to fall asleep in the car, even on a bright sunny afternoon. It continued on for quite a while. Guess at some point I became too heavy, and you’d have to resort to tapping me on my shoulders to wake me up instead.
Anyway, I better stop here now else I might go on forever.
It’s been a year since you’re gone. Papa, you used to always call me when you’re away travelling, asking me if I missed you. I miss you now pa, why didn’t you call me? I want to tell you that I miss you a lot, and that you’re the best father a boy could ever dream of.
We have fate. And I’m so happy that at one point in our lives, our paths met as father and son.
Until we meet again, pa. 🙂 Take care.

Your youngest son Kenny

330 Replies to “It’s Been A Year Since You’re Gone”

  1. I don’t know what to say but I guess your papa will definitely feel touched after reading this heart-tugging letter you wrote for him.

  2. touching post… brought back memories about reading about ur Dad’s passing on ur blog last yr. TIme flies…

  3. Having read your blog for a while now, I know you truly honor your father with your life.

  4. Dear Kenny,
    There is still someone who cares deeply and takes care of the family. I’m sure your dad would be really proud of you. Take care.

  5. Guess I’m gonna start treasuring my parents before they leave. I’m sure you’re not sad, you’re doing a good job at getting on. Keep up. 😀

  6. Best post from you kenny.
    I am experience this before, when my grandpa passed away. He is more than parent or elder people to me. I know how you feel. Just keep go on your life. Your pa will be happy if you success in life.

  7. Perhaps reunion dinner will never be the same again. Perhaps life will never be the same again. And the worst thing is…life goes on, whether you like it or not.
    At least your memories are beautiful and that is something that stays. 🙂

  8. So sorry to hear that Kenny
    I guess life’s like that – bitter sweet..
    Hang in there and cheer up ok?
    May =’ )

  9. This was a painful post to read. I could almost feel your sense of lost, and your love. Love lives on in the hearts of those he touched, and I’m sure that he was loved by much.

  10. I expereince before, once they have gone, only fond memory left. Treasure our parent when they are still with us.

  11. dood, tat’s some touching shits u’ve got there! no, no, don get me all wrong there. u totally moved me w/ tat ‘letter’ u wrote to ur pa. kinda made me feel that we really shud not take advantage of the things and ppl, esp family members, in life. i hope ur coping alrite & i salute u for writing tat cos not many macho men would show the sensitive side of them. u did and u rawk, dood!

  12. hang in there kenny.
    im sure he’s proud of u and he’ in a better place now.
    im sure he misses yr coffee too. 🙂

  13. Yet another one of your good posts….I normally don’t hang around on someone’s page long enough to read an entire post, but yours always have me sticking around. Anyway, may your father rest in peace knowing that he has a good son like you here. Hang in there!

  14. it’s a very touching post it gave me goosebumps and welled my eyes up.
    take care and hang in there

  15. For a grown man, you sound like a little innocent kid in this post. It’s so touching, my heart is full with tears to the brim. (wipes the tears away) God Bless~

  16. Wow…That was really touching. You made me remember of my late dear mother and I had tears falling from my cheeks. You had a great dad kenny…And I am sure that he gives you his fullest blessing in everything your family does.

  17. it’s a very touching post it gave me goosebumps and welled my eyes up.
    take care and hang in there

  18. hi there kenny.. its really sweet of u to write such a thing… u are such a wonderful son..was kinda puzzled when i read it.. i thought it was jz some kind of story u copy n paste in yr blog.. but i guess not! its truly all from yr heart…. ( it does sounds like a story a teenager like me would write for my essay in sch, and definitely would get high marks for it!)
    take care and God bless!! 🙂

  19. Having lost my beloved grandma just about a month ago… I can relate to your feelings. Tears welled up too.
    Well, fond memories of our loved ones will always etched deep in our hearts and they will never be too far away when they reside in us.
    Keep it strong and bliss be yours, you are a wonderful son.

  20. Hi Kenny,
    It is a indeed a good post. Im very sure your dad is very proud to have a great son like you. Take care and you guys are definately in your dad’s heart wherever he is now. He will bless u all. btw, gawd im reading this from my office too. 😛

  21. this entry reminded me to cherish the times i have with my family. reading about how u liked to fall asleep in the car so that you would get carried made me tear. i used to do that too until i grew too big.. thanks so much for this entry.

  22. I came here for a chuckle and you made me cry. I hope my wife does not see me like this. Take care dude.

  23. aww. this entry made me tear. so heartwarming. i’m sure he’s watching you from above. he’ll be doing well. you just reminded me not to take my love ones for granted. =) take care ya.

  24. the most touching entry i have ever read!!!
    know what? i used to fake as i was asleep so that my dad would carry me and tuck me into bed…
    i bet your existence as his son, has also brings many laughter and proud-ness to him!!

  25. This post had me crying my eyes out. You sounded like a little boy, a stark contrast from all your entries before. And it struck me, we are all like that when it comes to our parents. Hugs.
    Thank you, Kenny.

  26. This is the most touching entry I’ve read. Be strong, learn to love your future kids like your pa did. He will always be inside your heart.

  27. so touching…bout to cry.your father might be gone,but the memories will remain forever.

  28. Sometimes, just because you can’t see it
    doesn’t mean it isn’t there..
    Sometimes, just because it can’t touch you
    doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care..
    Take care & God bless! 😉

  29. This is my first time tagging here. Well not really. But when i saw this post, i was so sad and touched. My father passed away 5 months ago. Reading this post made me think of him and i also miss him so much.
    Nice to know that you have a great father too =)

  30. kenny, thank you so much.
    thank you for made others realize that parents are i always tell others, please appreciate your parents while they are still alive. once they are gone, they will be gone forever. no matter what you do, it will never bring them back in life.

  31. i cried reading this because my father passed away 2 yrs ago. i know it’s hard to let go… i still do. but remember always to stay strong… God bless u and ur family.

  32. Hey, I guess your dad would be fine. I’m sure he is very proud of you! Keep it up friend!
    I think no words can describe how much you miss him…

  33. i cried as i read this post.
    *taking a big breath*
    you’ll meet him one day. will hold your hand again and tell you, “son, let’s go yum cha”.

  34. Hi Kenny,
    well this is the 1st post i ever made, even i read ur blog for quite a while.. well, i share the same feelings as u do, my daddy passed away about 3 years ago, when i was 12.. i miss him so much as u miss ur dad. and u knoe wat?
    we have the same surname again~. sia =).. urs is “xie”(thank) in chinese too? well mine is
    anyway, take care kenny, ur post realli made me think of my dad too, i share my tears with you.

  35. kenny..
    you made me cry 🙁
    am still cryin now..
    it’s a really touching post, and it made me think about my dad and what if i had lost him cos he had a bypass op last year and that made me cry like shit too.
    i hope you cheered up 🙂

  36. You are one very complete human being. Your parents did a fantastic joband I’m sure they’re both very proud fo who they raised.

  37. i’m envious of your close relationship with your dad. I wish mine could be like yours.
    but anyhow, you have taught me the valuable lesson to treasure my love ones while they are around.
    this entry moved me..

  38. you know kenny, you’re the best son a father could ever ask for…i bet wherever your papa is, he’ll definately be proud of who u are today…i respect the fact that you dare to express yourself or even cry while blogging this…non many males will do that..guess your dad will tear badly if he reads this…

  39. you know kenny, sharing such aspects of your life with us, the emotions, the experience you share with us. the laughter and the sadness. thank you for being that kind of person. who can make anyone laugh and yet cry at the same time. you’re really someone who is truly worth knowing because you make such a difference to people by just your words alone.reading your blog is like reading a diary of someone whom i’ve known all my life. thank you for having this blog.
    your father must be so proud of you.

  40. you will become a good father like him after few years,and your sons will love you like what you do now

  41. Kenny, I really feel the sadness vicariously through you; I teared upon reading your entry. Hope everything is going well for you. Cheer up! I’m sure your superb father will be very glad to hear you. =)

  42. rather melancholi entry which dont really portray ur comedy image…take care…will look forward to more of ur lively entries!!

  43. you will be all right.. you will be all right..
    be strong, i’m sure he is proud of u, and will always be with u and ur family

  44. Urgh. I had to hold back my tears. And I rarely cry.
    I’m supposed to be mugging for a lit paper, and all the way reading this through, a potential question topics kept running through my mind. ‘What impressions can you form about the author?’ or ‘What impressions can you form about the author’s dad?’ or ‘How has the writer’s technique induced your feelings?’
    Yeah well. If you ever need a pseudo lit essay to enhance the not-so-festive mood, you know who to look for.
    But thanks for this inspirational entry. Not many are brave enough to put something like this up. Not something this personal. My prayers are with you and your dad.

  45. Kenny, no words can describe how touching was ur blog….my eyes juz can’t hold my tears from falling down…this makes me realize how important to spend a qualitiy time with the one we love coz there wont be a rewind button for us to redo things over again…
    Im sure your dad is looking down from HEAVEN with a smiling face for having a wonderful son like u…
    *BIG HUG*
    *May GOD be with u*

  46. With every meeting comes departure. It’s the cycle of life. But the memories will never fade or die away in our hearts. =)

  47. hey..
    ur entry made me wonder, about life and death..
    will i be remembered when i die?
    ps: ur dad sure is proud of you… =)

  48. dear kenny,
    I feel the same way as you do. Only in my case, I lost my dear grandmother to leukemia. Reading your post brings back sweet and bitter memories. Sweet times when we all had good laughter, bitter memories was when seeing her suffer and slowly leaving us. I knoe how it feels like to miss someone and knowing that, you won’t be seeing that person in years to come..
    I’ve always tried thinking of her when I sleep at night so that I would dream of her. Silly you might say, or scary but I do that. =)
    I hope you will feel better soon. And make sure those sweet memories will always be remembered. I’m sure your dad will be blessing you from above and that he knows his son is doing very well.
    =) susan

  49. memories are the best. nice writing, kenny, and i’m sure your father is watching over you.

  50. stay strong. ppl say. ‘ku eh bo khi, sin eh bo lai’ so its wat god does. all u need 2 do is jus accept it. even though its hard at times.
    stay strong man! peace

  51. hey u! i actually cried reading that post. glad to know that u r holding the family close as what ur dad would have done. glad to know that u have been strong for the family.
    most probably the only memory i had with your papa was in front of a coffee shop. ur papa was with a contractor, who happens to be my dad’s close friend too. he then introduced ur papa and told dad who was ur dad. i immediately blurted out ‘uncle, u’re kenny sia’s father?’ – he just smile. i told him perth was small and how we have the same group of friends in perth.
    i too can’t believe how fast a year have past.

  52. Kenny, that is a beautiful treasure of a letter. My condolences to you and your family.
    Btw, your niece and nephew are beautiful.
    You sister should teach them these few very important words:
    Uncle Kenny, new shoes, money, Uncle Kenny, need, shopping, new car,Uncle Kenny, and pleeeeeeease.

  53. About a year ago at 1st May, I lost my mentor and this entry is really touching. Sometimes it feels that he is still there. It must have brought tears to you when you were writing this entry.

  54. kenny ur e best. ur posts always have the aura to let ppl continue reading. ur dad must be super proud to hv a son like u. i practically wished i had ur talents

  55. Dear Kenny,
    Please accept my condolences.
    Your father must be heartened to be remembered so lovingly by you.
    Although I never met him, the remininsces of a filial son paint a picture of a devoted husband and father and a man who was regarded by many with affection and respect.
    It is a beautiful thing to see how you, to carry on his legacy, are so devoted to the care of your family, especially your mother.
    Yours sincerely,

  56. oops … almost cried …
    hehehehe … emphasize on the word: ALMOST ..
    anyway, thanks for reminding me how much I admire my Dad too. I’ll treasure him 🙂

  57. its really touch of wad u had wrote.. Tears burning my reminds me that i shud appreciate people around me or else it will be too late…thanks a lot..
    keep it on…
    from Lara

  58. I can’t help shedding handful of touched tears while reading. Your entry here is very meaningful and taught us all to cherish and treasure what we got. Thanks you. Take care too and stay happy k.

  59. it’s terrible losing a loved one. but still, life must go on.
    stay strong always. keep yourself and everyone at home, especially your mother, going.
    God bless.

  60. Your papa wants you to live happily, be strong Kenny, it wont be long before everyone is gone, we should appreciate people around us, i miss my grandma too, she departed last month.

  61. Kenny,
    Thank you for being so strong and inspirational. YOu re certainly the pride and joy of your parents man.
    Kuching represent.

  62. Hi,
    You don’t know me. I’ve been reading your stuff from time to time. This post really got to me. My dad died of cancer 7 years back. His birthday was the 3rd of May. Funny how time flies and life goes on. And while you’re in the mist of things and you suddenly realize..something’s missing..well..i remembered his birthday just 5 mins before the day was over..something I’m not proud of but it happens

  63. a heart touching blog indeed. act, i never felt regret for spending a few minutes everyday to log on to his website and read his blog. sometimes i jz feel lik jz to loiter around since i had nothing to do, but, act his blogs make me feel tat the world is really big. u can’t be an encyclopedia which contains wat sort of stories or events u wanna know. keep it up kenny

  64. oh my god… i feel like crying… i seem to have a similar post to yours… but its a different person and definately kept private… all the best to you kenny…

  65. Gosh best post ever and really touching =) but nevertheless treasure the one around u now especially your mom since it’s mother’s day soon. I’m sure u will gib her your very best. Take care

  66. To Dance With My Father Again
    Luther Vandross
    Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
    My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
    Spin me around ’til I fell asleep
    Then up the stairs he would carry me
    And I knew for sure I was loved
    If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
    I’d play a song that would never, ever end
    How I’d love, love, love
    To dance with my father again
    When I and my mother would disagree
    To get my way, I would run from her to him
    He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
    Then finally make me do just what my mama said
    Later that night when I was asleep
    He left a dollar under my sheet
    Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
    If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
    I’d play a song that would never, ever end
    ‘Cause I’d love, love, love
    To dance with my father again
    Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
    And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
    I pray for her even more than me
    I pray for her even more than me
    I know I’m praying for much too much
    But could you send back the only man she loved
    I know you don’t do it usually
    But dear Lord she’s dying
    To dance with my father again
    Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

  67. dude……!!!!
    your dad’s gonna be very proud of you!
    I dont even get to know who my father is………

  68. Dear Kenny,
    This entry is really touching. You are really brave or man enough to post your letter to your dad here. I salute you! You must have great time together with your dad. Unlike me, I am never close with my dad. There is something like a gap between us. However, reading your entry here makes me think about him, and how will I feel when he leave this world..? I really don’t know but I think I will try to communicate more with him from now. Thanks for the great sharing. Your dad must be very proud of you. Take care..

  69. Not many will ever truly understand how it feels to lose someone so dear to your heart. It is unfortunate that you have to go through it nevertheless. My prayers go out to you Kenny but let not this affect you too much. I speak for all the readers out there when I say, you trully made some of our darkest, moodiest days lighten up when we read your blogs. Dont ever lose tht gift!

  70. i am sure that he’s watching over u. the wind that grazes ur cheek, the rain that falls on ur hair, he’s everywhere.

  71. aww kenny..why did u make me tear when i was laughing 10 min ago before entering ur blog. Nicest entry ever kenny.. ur dad must be proud of u.

  72. This entry is indeed very touching. Watery eyes as I read your post. Tomorrow will be better than today and so on.
    Cheer up ^^

  73. Kenny,
    This post made me cry so much,after reading this post my tears never seem to stop,as am now studying in South of NZ and my parents are up north i miss them a lot.This post really makes me think of what will happened when they are gone,i know am not close with my dad,but all that he has done fo emw now really makes me appreciate him more.No doubt this post reminds me of those who are close to my heart,my G’parents included.Since young am really close with my G’parents esp G’ma,all that am afraid now is that she would not be able to see me graduate and be the first girl in the family to do so..I miss her so much that everytime i call her there will be tears in my eyes.
    Nice post mate.. nice one..

  74. Beautiful post…I’ll try to love and treasure my parents more…Your Pa must be looking at you with pride and love from the other side

  75. Having going through the 1st year is hard – I’m walking down that path, just like you…
    You be strong now…

  76. honestly, i don’t know why i bother commenting in here because it’s not like he’ll read this anyway with so many comments.
    very touching post.
    never write something like this when i’m pms-ing.

  77. Pal, its really sad about the incident. Look at the bright way. We have to move on. If u r not a christian, maybe try sometimes go there wif frens. U will find some answers for life. I have been through these, losing friends, relatives..making me really sad. I lost my grandma last year who always stayed with us. Kenny, be strong and move on. God will never forsake us, he will comfort us n lift us on his shoulder. take care.

  78. i feel it…and it made me cry at my desk….
    i can’t start to imagine how hard it is for you to miss him so much….
    bUt i’m sure, if he had a way, he’d call u immediately to ask you “do you miss me?”
    cHeer up, mate..try

  79. I am sorry to hear about your father.. I have been reading your blog since June 2005 and somehow I did not read the previous entries and only realised that your father left you a year ago. Please take it easy.. I know its hard to let go of the loved ones but at least he will always be fondly remembered.. Take care.. oh! And I re-read your previous entries and realised that you have been living in Perth for 8 years (if I didn’t mis-interpret)?? That really explains your good english and the accent that you have (from your chinese new year video).. =) You rockz!

  80. Cried as well. I’m sure he’s in a great place blessing you from afar. Take heart and be happy – I’m sure this is what he would want.

  81. came to ur blog for some smiles after being a cry baby last nite..but pagi pagi u made me sobz again…vy i read, tears js cant hold itself kept flowing..niway stay strong ok..*hugz* he’ll remember n miss u like how u did the same..

  82. Chin up.. birth, aged, sick, and death is a cycle that we cannot escape. Just do whats best in your life time and cherish every moment of it.

  83. i read ur blog often even though am in Oz now, i know how you feel,my dad left me in 2003,i still miss him so much everyday. . we will miss him till da day we leave this world. I always tell myself, dad lives in me coz he is in our blood . .

  84. sometimes we as son or grandsons dun even bother to check out our old folks at home. So pls do it when u had the time in your life, u only lives once! Thanks for reminding us Kenny, u are the man, ur daddy’s man!

  85. Kia Ora..
    I can’t imagine having either one of my parents gone.. sigh.. and am not looking forward to my 94 year old “popo” leaving either.. Time heals I guess..
    Where abouts is your sis moving to, in NZ ??? Maybe could meet up when we (eventually) move back to NZ, and when you come visit your sis! 🙂

  86. Dear Kenny, My bf’s father passed away when he was in F4. I believe he has gone through the same situation like you. Only he and his father wasn’t that close, but however, when he left, he came back somehow in his dream and passed him the message to take care of his family. He is the oldest child, so, he holds lotsa responsibilities. His house still stays the same, with his fathers belonging and all other stuffs. I believe he feels the same way like you too. I think, we learn that we should always appreaciate the ones that we love, so, I will always support him.. situation is different, coz daddy left early, not much guidance in growing up and working. All the best to you Kenny, You are a great man.

  87. You made me cry.. and this joker made me laugh..
    “If your papa call you, must remember to ask him for 4D number ya? I buy 50 big – 50 small.
    Posted by: Hijackqueen at 05 May 2006 10:43 AM”

  88. hi kenny, think its my 1st time commenting…
    this post is so not your usual funny style.
    but it really touched me alot.
    were you crying while typing?
    so touching.
    i guess you must really miss your pops so much.
    well, just want to say that he’l be so proud of you!
    strive on!

  89. Hey kenny! He may be gone but he lives forever in your heart! For all you know he might be tucking you in everynight when you sleep… (i dun mean this in a bad way..) Anyways! Stay strong and always miss him for missing someone is the essence of love…
    take good care of yourself!

  90. my watery eyes cudn’t believe it when i read the “1st!” comment by SliverzRabbitz.
    get a life la u insensitive chao chibai si lan jiao!!

  91. Ohmygiddybimbo.
    That post is so.. touching I cried.
    I’m sure your daddy would be proud of you :), And I somehow want to give my daddy a biggg hug. ):

  92. u made me cry ….
    so pai sheh crying in the office.
    I believe u will be another great father like him some day!

  93. Kenny
    It’s touching entry. Your dad must be caring and nice person. Hope you and your family keep all your chin up.
    Your children, grandchildren and next generation will remember of your dad via photo album and stories, as you remember and proud of him.
    Stay strong and live up a happier life.

  94. *tears rolls over cheeks*
    Fond memories to be kept in heart forever! Till the very last sentence, where tears would flow naturally… I’m touched. Take good care of your family and especially your mother Kenny! She may look tough but behind it all… ‘ yeah? ‘

  95. just like u say office still same light still on but the one we know is not there when ever i pass by i justlook at the office and i just felt sad because he is gone i use to enter his office when the OA is not working properly,kenny be strong

  96. *tears rolls over cheeks*
    Fond memories to be kept in heart forever! Till the very last sentence, where tears would flow naturally… I’m touched. Take good care of your family and especially your mother Kenny! She may look tough but behind it all… ‘ yeah? ‘

  97. Very touching.. and sad..
    How lucky of you to have sucha wonderful dad to feel proud of being his son..

  98. omg…so touching. made my tears fall. such a filial son. (: ur dad must be really proud.

  99. take care man. i feel your pain. May your dad rest in peace in your memory.
    we cry for you man.

  100. ya… it’s like an aunty of mine who passed away two years ago. we were too familiar to each other, so i never greeted to her whenever i met her, she would then forced me to call her “aunty”
    now, she’s gone, and i have no chance to call her aunty anymore, the day before she passed away, i should have been to her house, holding her hands and called her.
    it’s too late, i regret till now

  101. Some wise man once said…
    At the end of every great concert, we leave the hall with memories of the magnificent show and we just want an encore.
    Looks like your dad’s concert is over…dont be sad…be glad that you went for it and cherish the moment and uphold the memories forever…

  102. I’ve never left you a comment before although I’ve been following your blog for a while now- on and off. But this post really made me cry, and I think I just have to tell you that I appreciate your sincerity and openess in all your posts. You’re a really good writer. I’ve laughed out loud plenty of times while reading your blog and have also cried along with you when you were on your down times. I’d like to wish you all the best things in life and I’m sure your dad is very proud to have you for a son. Take care!

  103. this entry is simply touching. Your Dad must be really proud of you. It shows how strong you are as you’re coping with it. I don’t know whether i can even cope with it when anyone i love leaves. Thanks for the great entry.
    All the best!

  104. Kenny, really appreciate your sharing in this post. I find that even though when I spend time with my parents, my heart is not with them. Thanks for reminding me through this post. God Bless!

  105. ~~it doesnt matter where or when someone dies but they will always stay close to the one they love n the ones that loves them~~

  106. Dear Kevin, I can’t stop sobbing…
    My Dad passed away when I was 18. I thought with time, the pain would pass. Time does heal, but never totally. Now, 12 years later, I still cry secretly sometimes when i think of him, and your blog has brought back so many good memories of my own past…
    Take heart, I’m sure we’ll see our loved-and-lost ones again one day.

  107. *teary eyes*
    My dad left us in 1998. Can you imagine me receiving the call from home a few mins b4 midnight telling me that my dad met with a “little” accident and asked me to book the next flight home to see him? While still blaming him for not being careful on the road came another call…said my dad passed away? Can you imagine the whole night…the wait at the airport….was crying like i’m invisible? I still cry when i think of my dad sometimes…. I never told him that I love him…though my actions might had. Glad that you are by your mom.

  108. sigh~ this post makes me cry. Makes my heart aches. i never thought one day i will be here and say, ‘I understand your pain, Kenny.’ My sis passed away abt 2 mths ago.It seems like she had taken a part of me with her.. It had been very difficult for me.. esp when she was only 26. Her passing makes me feel that we had often taken our loved ones for granted. We had taken it for granted tt they will always be by our side.. How i wished i cud just tell my sis again, how much i love and missed her, and i wish i can just hold her hands again.. I smiled when i read the part you asked why your Pa did not call you this time and asked if u missed him.. I myself had often sms my sis and asked if she know i missed her. Eventhough the line had already been terminated.. but it warms my heart to think she might be able to receive my sms wherever she is now. Life goes on.. but i guessed it will take time. But we have to be strong for our loved ones… Kenny, jia you!

  109. I thought of my grandma, she’s going to be gone for almost a year too. She is missed by everyone of us too. Dun make us cry Kenny!

  110. your dad must have been a great guy. n i bet he’s bursting with pride for you. hang in there kenny! God bless.

  111. This post deeply touched my heart. We just have to move on without them sometimes. Be strong!

  112. I’m sure your dad must be very proud of you. And thanks for reminding us that we should cherish our loved ones while they are still with us.

  113. wow, u totally blew me out of my mind…kennysia on a reflective mood. very touching.
    condolences on your family’s loss…but i’m sure your dad wants to see you happy. honour his wishes and memories by being a better dad.
    blog on!

  114. Kenny, this post touches my heart. I couldnt help crying, sensing the closet knit you had with your dad & family, it has not been easy to let go someone you really love. But time will heal all wounds, no matter how deep they are, it took me 5 years to let go someone whom i really love, but time heals. So let the good memories stay on…. leave the pain behind.

  115. He’ll always be in your heart and be part of your life. That’s what matters. As for your other family member who was diagnosed with cancer, I hope (s)he is alright. My uncle was recently been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and I’m still praying that he has a chance to survive.

  116. U made me cry. =( I’m sure he misses u as well. And he’s happy alright.. to have such a wonderful son like u..
    Thanks for sharing this post..

  117. its true that most malaysians read your blog in the office, hence me tearing up while reading this post, in the office.
    ironicly, i just posted up 2 entries on parents and how we must cherish them as much as we can now, before it’s too late.
    all the best kenny. i’m sure your daddy is proud of what you’ve accomplished!

  118. a sincere ourpouring of your feelings. shows just how human you are. very touching indeed. it takes courage to write something like this.

  119. You honoured your dad with the post. Guess is made me think about my parents. Made me tear too.
    Anyway, take cares ok? Im sure your father loves you lots.

  120. It’s really touching.. my tears can’t stop falling.. any way just b strong n everyone knew tat u can do it.. your papa will love u from the day u r born until the day u r gone..

  121. I’m sorry buy i really can’t help me, i’m a boy but my tears are halfway down from my eyes. Its really sad to remember about it. Death is forever. You’ll remember it year in year out…

  122. Thanks God for an irreplaceable role your dad plays in yr life. Your desires are far more than child’s play. They are the secret to the male heart. I feels romance, adventure and beauty in yr blog. The effects are good for any reader’s soul.
    The message are captivating: Yr heart matters more than anything else in all yr creativeness and creation. The desires u had as a little boy & the longings u still feel as a man – they are telling u of the life God created u to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of yr story, to rescue yr heart & release u to live as a fully alive & greal man. A man who is truly wild at heart.

  123. Dear Kenny, I feel sorry for your loss but I’m unable to emphatise. I spent my first 25 years enduring abuse from my mother. My father did nothing but watched and when I finally wanted to kill myself, he just brushed me aside and didn’t take me seriously. My mother thrashed me upon hearing my intentions. Finally, I took up a niece’s advice to live for myself and I ran away. I’m still being hunted down till today and I feel like such a prey waiting to be pounced on. The thing is, I wouldn’t know how to react or what to do if one of them fall sick or dies. What do I do then? Sigh. Lucky you, Kenny, to have a good family life.

  124. Damn! U made me cry especially when i’m feeling vulnerable and homesick now. I’d been trying hard not to cry althou i’d been real tired, have to face and do everything by my own and yet nothing goes well for me. But when i read ur post, i burst into tears.
    Btw, ur Dad are surely proud for having such a wonderful son. Hugs and take care.

  125. This is so touching, I think I can feel my eyes getting wet now…
    I’m sure it’s really painful to relive your dad’s death, I’ve gone through this before with my uncle. He passed away about 2 years ago and he was really dear to me. But as they say, life goes on, and I’m sure your dad won’t want you to be sad over his death…
    All I can say is that wow, if I were your dad (which, of course, is technially impossible, considering I’m female, younger than you, and a Singaporean, but you get my drift), I would be so proud of you. And I’m sure your dad’s probably really proud of having such a loving son (:
    Take care and God bless =)

  126. I refuse to shed tears for any sad shows, books, etc. Not even Love letters.
    But you made me tear. Maybe bcos u made me think of my own family.
    I think you’ll make a brilliant daddy too. cheers.

  127. You’re not just a good blogger, you’re also a good son… Your dad is one lucky guy (first post i made in here)

  128. omigoodness i just realized ur the kenny sia that used to live at waterford ave. almost bought furniture from you when you garage sale.

  129. Kenny, people may come and go, but they will definitely have a special place in our heart till the day we die…hang on there, bro

  130. Was informed ytd that my dad’s cancer had spread to the liver and doc advised to cherish the remaining few months … it’s a journey all of us has to take … experienced the lost of loved one… take care kenny boy …

  131. i never like to read a long story….
    but this time i did..!!!!!
    ur story make me cry…. so touching
    be strong..,we still hv a long way to go..
    i believed ur father must be proud to hv u as his son

  132. you’re making me cry…
    you’re lucky, u have/had a dad… my dad left us when i was 3 i think,.. i remember his face but i never realy knew him…
    no, he’s not dead… and that’s the saddest part about it..
    take care, kenny..
    i find ur page rly interesting..

  133. readin ur post… made my eyes watery. mayb next year around this time, i will be postin sumtin about the same. my dad is very ill, we r told he has only few weeks. it hurts deeply. not sure what i will do when da day comes. hope i will be as strong as u.

  134. That kind of feeling sucks. My parents and grandma are still around but I’m here in the US.
    I know 1 day I’ll probably have the same feeling like you, for being away from home for so many years and still counting, and only spend a portion of my life time with my loved ones. I just wish to spend every single day with them but this is reality, life here is better. How I wish all of them will come over here too but they r just too old to move to a totally new place. Mum told me she had their chance to move here but she didn’t grab it and it’s over now. Penang is where she belongs and will remain there forever as she does not want to grow old living in Chinatown lonely without friends and relatives but just the family.
    Perhaps I’ll return home 1 day, perhaps I shouldnt from the perspective of future, career and money. I don’t know, but I really feel how you felt, I do….

  135. kenny u touch my heart, every moment with family is so precious n it is priceless..what we can do is just treasure every moment with them n treat them well..

  136. i could really sense ur sincere cry.
    you’re brave. 🙂
    this post makes me want to appreciate and spend time with my family more.
    thanks a lot, kenny. you made me think a lot.

  137. After reading this post ,i feel compelled to post a shoutout to my dad who is back home now.
    He may or may not read this post but anyway,
    “Love you Papa,
    I miss you every single day,
    Take care !”

  138. Wuaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..
    U made me cry while paying my phone bill…
    That sucks man!!!!
    Anyway, that was a great post from u

  139. i am a new fan of ur blog and i think its a great blog u have here.
    i can truely relate to ur loss since i oso have lost my dearest papa @ this posting made me cry for quite a while..
    but its nice to see how u have blossomed and from now on, there ll be some1 new to inspire me..
    thx for giving us such a great blog 😀

  140. I miss my grand dad fondly too. The way he takes me around in those big old-fashioned black bicycle to the pasar mini near our neighbourhood for vitagen.
    He always gets cream puffs and layer cake from the local bakery and we all love them.
    He’s always the one who orders food when we go out to restaurants and when he first went to Heaven, you can see my uncles struggling to order. My grand dad is a food lover and we all depended on him, a lil too much.
    It’s a wonder how he knows where the best food are in all the small towns from my hometown to KL.
    It’s funny how he sits quietly on the couch watching my lil brother running here and there, so long ago.
    Your article made me think of him. And how much I still misses him so very much.

  141. my father passed away 6 yrs ago, and i missed him dearly too.. Everytime i follows mom to his tomb, i have to pretend tat i m strong, b on my mom side to console her.. not even a tear r allowed. Its a really hard task, but i told myself have to b strong.. but deep in heart, i really cant help myself from missing daddy!! I used to sit bside his tomb alone, every week; chatting, crying, reading newspaper for him..
    There’s a very close frien of mine, one day complaining me:’So many yrs aldy, life goes on. Come on, wake up! Everyday cry cry cry! Crazy arr’
    I was hurt w his quote, but never blame him. I know he don have the intention.
    Anyway.. just to share w u (cos have no one to share ~_~)

  142. If any of my sons were to write this about me, I will be bursting with pride from up above, grinning from ear to ear no doubt.
    It’s never easy losing someone so near and dear. Take care, Kenny!

  143. I read this sometime back in 06 and it has touched me in ways that I couldn’t described. Lately, I thought about this entry again…and decided to search your blog for it. Re-reading it now and I am still immensely touched..n affected to a certain extent. Thanks for sharing. It’s a note I will remember always.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *