Father’s Day

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The candles formed a heart shape in the dark. Amazing.

I just got back from my cousin Clare’s 21st birthday party. I might be wrong but Clare must be my only cousin who knows about this blog. It must be about 2-3 year since I last saw her. She has grown up to become so beautiful I barely even recognised her.
Oddly, Clare’s party was also a pseudo Father’s Day celebration. All my maternal relatives whom I haven’t met for a long time were there. At one point in the party, all the fathers present gather around the cake as their kids happily wished them “Happy Father’s Day.”
But my father wasn’t one of them. I envy them. I envy all those whose father is still around. I envy all those who can say to their father, face to face, “Thank you, dad.”
Its been almost 7 weeks since my father passed away on the 4th May. According to Chinese superstition, the soul of the dearly departed still lingers around for 7 weeks, after which he’ll leave forever to a different world.
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7 weeks already. Feels like its been such a long time with him not around though I can remember the events leading up to his passing as vividly as if it only just happened yesterday.
Its common practise for us kids to call out “Pa chi, Mi chi” (Dad, eat. Mom, eat) as a form of courtesy to our parents when we have our dinner. The day after the wake, I broke my own heart when I called my father to eat eventhough he’s no longer around.
Its been 7 weeks, and I still miss him.

I couldn’t celebrate Father’s Day with my dad, even if I wanted to.
fd

69 Replies to “Father’s Day”

  1. I smsed this to a fren an hour ago:
    Today’s Fathers’ Day. Thank your dad for what you have today even when he isn’t around in person. Cos you know in your heart he can hear you. Jia You.
    Same to you Kenny. With lots of love.

  2. Don’t know what to say to console you because I’m sure the sadness is a deep one. I guess your Father’s Day present from now on is to try to be even more like the person your father would want you to be. =)

  3. I know how you feel, I for one will only also have good memories for this Father’s Day and many more to come.

  4. Eventhough you don’t have your father in flesh and blood with you, the good memories are still there, and I believe your late father wouldn’t want anything more than having you remember him. =)

  5. Your father must be a great one.
    In a way, I envy you, because you had him to play such a positive role in your life.
    I don’t have such good fortune.
    Treasure those memories well.
    Take care!
    Yours, Angeline

  6. I guess what your dad wants more is to watch over you while you have your first father’s day. 🙂

  7. Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(}) Kenny,
    ({)(})

  8. I can’t say that I know how you feel.
    But I’m sure your father is now in a better place, smiling down at you.
    Take care 🙂

  9. My father’s still around. For all the drama at home, I can’t celebrate Father’s Day. I dunno how to explain it. But to break it down, it feels like my dad hasn’t been around for years.

  10. Kenny, i’m kinda a big fan of yours, and i wanna tell you that you are strong, you’ve got the balls to overcome this. The Chinese also believe that if the departed one sense his/her family in grief, he/she will be relunctant to leave for the netherworld and be recarnated. Surely you want your father to move on ya? Be strong, you can overcome this. Keep smiling.

  11. Although it may not seem that way, there are some things which should make you happier; that you miss him so much, because he was a big part of you; that you were with him till the last, and got to say goodbye; that you are old enough that you will always remember him, so you can keep him alive in your heart.

    So say Happy Father’s Day, even if you think no one will hear you, because he will, and he is happy, and you should try to be too.

  12. *patpat*
    There there Kenny. We will all always miss our recently departed family member. Continue to keep your chin up, look forward, and get those 3 awards for your blog!! ^_^

  13. Kenny, i’m kinda a big fan of yours, and i wanna tell you that you are strong, you’ve got the balls to overcome this, and the Chinese also believe that if the departed one sense his/her family in grief, he/she will be relunctant to leave for the netherworld and be recarnated. Surely you want your father to move on ya? Be strong, you can do it. Keep smiling.

  14. me & my dad don’t get along most of the time but i’m thankful that he’s still around. thanks kenny for the reminder that i should appreciate my dad while i still have him.
    *hugs*

  15. I’ve never celebrated fathers’ day. He was gone even before I can understand the reason of his departure. Let him live in your heart. You’ll be fine, I’m sure. Your father will be proud =]

  16. Kenny. Stay strong. You dad won’t want to you see you be sad or anything. Cheer up okie? He may not be around beside you, but he is deep down in your heart. ((:

    huggs`

  17. ((((((((((((((Huge big hug))))))))))))))))
    Thanks for posting this, reminds me to appreciate my own dad just that little bit more.
    Your dad left behind at least one special person – and we all feel for him.

  18. ((((((((((((((Huge big hug))))))))))))))))
    Thanks for posting this, reminds me to appreciate my own dad just that little bit more.
    Your dad left behind at least one special person – and we all feel for him.

  19. I cried reading your post…seriously!
    It reminded me of my dad…and how i miss him more now that he’s gone than when he was around.
    Happy Father’s Day to all the dads in the world!

  20. Well, its the first time I’m posting a comment here! I guess your dad should feel proud of you as a son =D… I don’t really know what to say at the moment, but I hope that everyone here can cherished their parents while they are still alive… A very happy father’s day to all fathers!!! =D

  21. Don’t know if i’ll ever regret this but, my whole life, the only relation i had with my parents is about $$.
    When i need $$ i get from them.
    When they are pissed at me, they threatened me with $$.
    today’s father’s day, and i told my dad happy father’s day. he didn’t seem to give a damn though.

  22. Don’t know if i’ll ever regret this but, my whole life, the only relation i had with my parents is about $$.
    When i need $$ i get from them.
    When they are pissed at me, they threatened me with $$.
    today’s father’s day, and i told my dad happy father’s day. he didn’t seem to give a damn though.
    be strong k. at least he loved you.

  23. Reading your blog makes me ashamed of myself.
    My father is still around and I don’t know how to appreciate him.
    If one day he’s leaving me forever, I guess I won’t be the same as I am now because he’s not only a father to me, he’s my close friend as well.
    I feel like crying now after reading your blog.
    Thanks for letting me knowing how much I love my dad. =)

  24. ehehe, clare knows about your blog cos it was publicly displayed during class. ^^” courtesy of me and my lecturer, who are avid followers of KennySia.com.

  25. Many of us do not know the feeling of losing a loved one, which is why we often take those around us for granted.. This is something i myself fall prey to.. We should learn to cherish the ones around us while they are still around. Kenny, I’m sure your father is really proud of you wherever he may be right now and he is definitely watching over you so be strong and keep going =)

  26. i think u’ve taught everyone a great lesson.. your father will be very proud of u, wherever he is.
    *hugs*

  27. i think u’ve taught everyone a great lesson.. your father will be very proud of u, wherever he is.
    *hugs*

  28. *hugs*
    dad’s not here with me too. he’s alive but it’s been four years since i’ve celebrated father’s day with him in person…
    a candle for all the father’s in the world.

  29. hey kenny, chin up though your dad may not be around, i am sure he is proud of you and all you have done. may you someday be a good father like your dad was for you.

  30. ~~HUGZZ…~~
    Exactly how I feel on Mother’s day.. That’s why I am appreciating my dad so much more now…
    Your dad’s looking down from heaven Kenny… He’s proud of you I’m sure.

  31. Angeline + blunt + lynnee, I’m sorry to hear that. Every father is different in its own way. But lets put it down to this – you have only one father. I hope that you can resolve whatever issues you have affecting you and your father’s relationship and live together again like how a father and child should.
    kimm, can mehhh? Cannot lah! 😉 *hugs*
    Gambs, you greedy guy. 🙂
    gracie, that’s what I’m gonna do.
    romantic + pearl + Jade + annabelle, I appreciate your empathy. Losing a parent is something so difficult I wish no one ever have to go through with it. Except everyone does at some point. Some are just earlier than others. I offer you my condolences.
    GoodRubber, I’m familiar with that belief. I think my family controlled our grief very well during the funeral. Its the after effects – him not around, house feeling empty – that have us missing him even more.
    Lyon, its only two that I’m up for. Heck, if I got all three I’d be monopolising the industry. Not good.
    babysalad, its always nice to see you around. Your messages are short, but very very sweet. Do you have a blog?
    Kendoogie + IB + sippy + sarah, if writing this makes you appreciate your father even more, then I’m glad I have the medium to share it with you. Quick, go make him a cup of milo!
    NSDS3, just make sure you pat my upper back, not my lower back thank you.
    cakie, some fathers are just too good at hiding their feelings. 🙁 which is sad really.
    Wanyi, you shouldn’t cry. Its your birthday!
    hsin ee, i still don’t understand why your lecturer would wanna show my site in class. Its not exactly G rated you know. 😛
    Xiaxue, 🙂
    To everyone else, thanks for all the nice messages.

  32. I read the quote from Tomorrow.sg and cried even before I clicked on the link. My dad passed away last year, and immediately after reading the quote “It’s common practise for us kids to call out “Pa chi, Mi chi” (Dad, eat. Mom, eat) as a form of courtesy to our parents when we have our dinner. The day after the wake, I broke my own heart when I called my father to eat even though he’s no longer around.
    It’s been 7 weeks, and I still miss him.” and maybe because I was listening to Jay Chou I can’ see what I’m tpying now hope you still can see, take care, I did the sdame thing as you and the absence was so big.
    Take care Kenny

  33. no blog 🙁 love 2 read but lazy 2 write…
    this entry actually inspire me 2 make a card for my dad yesterday (althou very last minute d).it was something dat i stopped doin for many years.i’m close 2 my dad n i cried wen i did d card.i mite b goin 2 university next month n i realised how much im gonna miss him.thanx,kenny…
    scared the shit out of my brother n my boyfriend to see me burst into tears for no apparent reason :p

  34. First of all, my deepest condolence to you Kenny. I came to know your site via the Star Newspaper (20th June 2005). I know how it feels & I’m sure whatever you are trying to express to him here could be clearly seen by your beloved dad in Heaven. Wherever he is, he is always with you. Stay strong and continue to pray for his soul. wnka from PJ Selangor…

  35. My deepest sympathies to you, and I can so empathise with you. I lost my Papa to cancer this Mar too. And the tons of stark reminders of Father’s Day this weekend sure cuts.

  36. How are you holding up there mate? Doing alright? Wow it’s all gone by so fast. I remember when you first told us…
    But am really happy to read about the Star article. Congrats on that. The more people understand about blogging and why we do it, the better.
    You take care now. Will kacau you soon.

  37. It was 1:05am when my dad came and asked if it was work from the office that I was doing. I didn’t answer him coz all I wanted was to finish up the work fast. He walked away silently. The next day dad went into comatose and passed away. A sudden death. I still cry whenever I think about this. I should have at least answered him Yes. I’m a bad girl, real bad. I need to get my tissue paper again.

  38. my condolescence. ur entry touched me deeply and reminded me to cherish what i have and stop being the bitch i m to my parents. i realise tt i vent my frustrations on them and hurt them so much.
    i hope you will cont to be strong. not everyone may have such courage.

  39. my condolescence. ur entry touched me deeply and reminded me to cherish what i have and stop being the bitch i m to my parents. i realise tt i vent my frustrations on them and hurt them so much.
    i hope you will cont to be strong. not everyone may have such courage.

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