Desperate Addict Stories

Less than one week away to the close of entries for the LG White Chocolate Giveaway Contest and the submissions are still rolling in.

I gave the topic looking for real life stories of crazy things desperate people do to win a boy or a girl’s heart. A lot of people missed the point and gave me some boring lovey-dovey stories about how they fell in love with their partners. They are really sweet and romantic, but I wasn’t looking for those. Then there are people who submit stories not about desperation for a boy or a girl, but for a bolster.

Only a handful come up with bizarre and hilarious stories that really hit the mark. Regardless, thank you for all your submissions. I wish I had 350+ phones to give out but too bad I only have one. It was difficult, but I managed to narrow so many entries down to the best three.
If I don’t change my mind between now and the end of the competition, one of the following readers could be getting their hands on a brand new LG White Chocolate.

I wanna give Pathetic a pat on the back after he posted his story.

“I’m your typical pathetic loser.
It happened when I was in Form 2. There was this girl that I really liked P. At that point, being young and naive, I thought that love was easy.
I guess she was toying with the fact that i liked her, her friends as well as mine knew about this one way relationship.
Coz I was sort of like her boyfriend. That’s it. She wasn’t my girlfriend.
Well, being young and naive, I thought that I had her in the bag. Thoughts or marriage and nonsense.
Anyway, she forced me to do things for her. Now thinking back, I was pretty dumb to oblige to everything.
She wanted to eat Ipoh hor fun during reccess one day. When i say Ipoh, I mean Ipoh. I sneaked out of school, took a taxi to Puduraya, got a bus, went to Ipoh, bought the hor fun, came back to KL. By then, it was night already. Called her, she said she didn’t want it anymore.
It was a Saturday night, she called me. Said she wants me to go to her house to make a cup of milo for her. So I walked to her house (her house was in the other neighbourhood), ringed the doorbell, guess what? Her dad came out holding a police-like baton threatening to kill me. He didn’t believe me when I told him her daughter asked me to come over. He said his daughter would never befriend a guy like me and she was already asleep. Got into a lot of trouble with my parents when I got home.
On Monday, I enquired her about it. She slapped me across the face. During assembly, I was left hurt and ashamed.
From that day ’till today, we have not spoken. I thought obliging to her wishes would make her accept me. Guess not.
So, do you agree that I’m a pathetic loser?
I’m sure you are nodding frantically now.”

Lucky she only said Ipoh hor fun, and not Mongolian lamb chop.

JC has a friend who did something so digustingly weird it’s incomprehensible.

“This guy, B, liked this friend of mine, S, way back in Form 4 but S barely noticed him as she doesn’t really know him. So one fine day, a group of us were discussing about a sensitive issue (maybe not really sensitive la… since we actually discussed bout it). It was about masturbation :p… hehe… midway through the discussion, B came over to see what’s going on. Coincidentally, when he came over, S raised a question to the group “how does sperm look like?”
I guess B saw that as a chance to get her to notice him more because the very next morning he brought a small container with white gooey substance in it. He looked for S before class started and passed it to her telling her what it was and added “now you not only know how it looks like, you can know how it feels and smells”. S was so disgusted she threw the container at him while the rest of us couldn’t stop laughing. Through out the remainder one and a half years of life in secondary school, he never dared come close to our group of friends anymore because every time he was seen by us, there will be a huge roar of laughter.”

He gave the girl he’s after a jar of his own semen!? What the hell was he thinking?!

A funny desperate addict story is by this crazy girl with a nickname iwilleatyourpetfrogalive.

Okay, so I’m totally in love with this guy right. No wait, he’s a GOD. He is a fucking GOD.
First day I meet him, he looks like a GOD. He even has rings of purple around his head, just like Buddhadoes, but even brighter. He was working at this restaurant. And I didnt know what to do when I saw him. He was just the greatest thing I had ever seen. Like, his hotness was insane crazy insane that I felt scared to even touch him in case I got burnt with his hotness. TSS. So, the next day I go back and I ask for a job. They werentgiving one away, so I told them that I am actually from THE STAR newspaper doing a cover on “minimum wage in Malaysia and it’s effects on modern globalization”
I had no fucking idea what it blinking meant, but to the owner, it sounded impressive so he signed me up for a week. AHHHHAHAHH! I was ecstatic. So, I managed to talk to the guy. His voice was like… Ok, his voice sounded like BUDDHA+JESUS+BRAD+OPRAH all mixed into one. His words were like… Seriously I dont even remember what he said to me, but he definitely wasnt interested in me. As much as I want to hope and pray he definitely wasnt. I worked as a waiter, and he was behind the bar. I found out a few things about him, his email, phone number and ADDRESS. Hoho. I am a professional lover/stalker now. I hardly ever spoke to him; I just searched the restaurant’s computer for his details. Sometimes, I’m even scared of breathing near him. I don’t wanna take up his sacred oxygen. That will cause a serious unbalance to the world’s extinct population of hotness.
So after a week, I had to leave. But, I had his address!!!! And his number.. =O the same night I left my ‘cover job’ I went to MPH and bought this book about witchcraft. I then made a spell for love. The ingredients and actions were stupid as hell, but what the heck. I had to go out at 2 am to 7-11 and buy two packets of condoms. The book said that it was so that it will bless my future mind blowing sex with the guy. If that was the case, I’ll gladly buy every condom in Malaysia. So, I got the ingredients and burnt them, and then went to his house and spread the ashes on his front porch. His cat was sleeping on the top of his car, so I chucked some ash on its fur as well. The next thing I did was call him. I don’t know why I called him, I didn’t dare ask him out or anything, but I just wanted him so bad.
So basically, this was our conversation.
Me: HEY!!
Guy: Hello.
Me: Hi hi!
Guy: Err… Who’s this?
Me: Oh! Sorry! I am from the ministry of the city council. (wth does that mean???)
Guy: Oh… Ok. What can I do for you?
Me: We are running a project that needs current and accurate statistics from our community. I would like to ask you about your local… local… Indian temple.
Guy: What?
Me: Err. Local Indian temple.
Guy: Err. Ok.
Me: So, does the burning and smoke from the temple disturb you at all?
Guy: No.
Me: Does the smell from the coconut milk irritate you?
Guy: Err. No.
Me: How do you feel about free food that is given to the poor at the temple?
Guy: I think it is good.
Me: So, how do you feel about sex before marriage?
Guy: What??
Me: Thank you. Goodbye.
And I’ll put down the phone.
I did that only once. I didn’t dare call back in case he recognised my voice.
I also took photos of him working in the restaurant, and I printed it out on stickers, and every night, before I sleep, I stick a sticker on my lucky birth mark that is on my right buttock.
I have no idea what sort of music he likes, so I send him different cd’s every two weeks. I write a note on it saying it is from Or just crap something.
You know how you see in the movies, when your boyfriend’s girlfriend wants to surprise you at night when you are sleeping. So, I wanted to do that for him. He didnt know me at all, and it might be a lil creepy for him seeing a person he does not know at all below his window. But I dont care. I just had to do it. Ive seen it so many times in the movies, I just had to try it! So, I bought a bunch of red roses and candles and a fat big red ribbon. And I waited until it was 3.00 a.m. And then went to his house. And I tied the ribbon round my waist. (I AM THE PRESENT. Hoho.) And lit the candles and held the bunch of roses. Then I took the pebbles from the road and threw it at the first window I saw, which was right of the house door. (I HAD NO IDEA WHICH ONE WAS HIS WINDOW) I threw a small one first, but the window was too far and too high. So I figured if I threw a heavier one, by some bloody physics miracle+calculation, the energy would add up and cause the pebble to travel further. I threw a couple of times but missed. I kept on hitting the grill. So, I threw the last time and the bloody pebble hit his window and blinking made a hole through it. It didnt crack and break the whole window. It just made a hole in it. The lights went on, and I started freaking out. I ran, leaving the roses and the candles behind, with the stupid ribbon on my waist I ran.
I tihnk that pretty much sums up how much of an idiot I was. But I was so in love with him. Maybe it was just lust. But I wanted him so bad! After a couple of weeks, I walked by the restaurant and saw him with his hands over a girl, laughing like she had just made the world’s most fantastic joke. -.- there isn’t much space left to type, but I sorta found out where she lived. She had a tank of fish and a cute shih-tzu on her porch. I climbed over the gate in the middle of the night. (THANK BLOODY GOD THERE IS NO SENSOR ALARM. I TESTED FIRST BY THROWING TOILET ROLLS OVER THE GATE) I gave the dog a hair cut… Hahha. Like a ridiculous haircut. And then I pulled two of her fishes out of the tank and brought it home with me. In case they ever do get married, I will cook the fish and eat it to their celebration.”

Congratulations to the three finalists.
So, who do you think deserves to win?

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185 Replies to “Desperate Addict Stories”

  1. the 3rd one sounded really far-fetched, like, reaallly far-fetched. there are some really weird ppl in msia, i mean, witchcraft?! i m going for the first one, a bus ride to ipoh for hor fun is just too respect-demanding..

  2. agreed with meng…the 3rd story is way too fake…going for the 1st one least it sounds sincere and wasnt exagerrating…

  3. the 3rd story is so god damn it funny.
    I would never do such things on the person I am not really in love with but only crush n lust.
    Daring like

  4. i think the 3rd story sounds kinda fake…
    i mean no sane person will EVER do sumthin like tat…its jus WEIRD..
    but it was nevertheless funny…=D

  5. i don’t qualify anyways, but here’s what i had to do (didn’t work out anyways, blasted waste):
    spent $3000 on flowers over 3 years. had them sent to her so many times that the florist in KL knew me by name, AND voice. They’d recognized me when I called (bear in mind that I’m based in US and have never met the florists).
    One year I got her age wrong on the card, and the florists knew enough to gently tell me “she turns 27, not 28” (would have been a fatal error). One day she was having a rough day at work doing some consulting at Shell and missed lunch, I had the same florist deliver lunch and Starbucks. They did this, despite her being an eternal consultant and was not listed in the company directory (they had to call her cellphone to track her down in the building).
    Baked meat pie for the family, taught the mom how to make sushi (some ass kissing I know 😛 )
    But anyways. That was my story. Credit really goes to the florist ( Good group.
    That was my desperate story. Didn’t work out anyways. But the chase was fun while it lasted.

  6. I’m going for the 1st one. The third’s too scary to be true and the second one’s gross.
    How many entries were there again?

  7. LoL.. I like the 3rd 1 BUT.. she does sounds kinda desperate and scary. make me wonder whether she have boyfriend now or not. If she do, i bet when they broke up, her ex will be in deep trouble. might ended up in da hospital or something.. haha. anyways, it might be a story tat made up by herself though. very interesting.. =)

  8. I voted for number three even though it sounds far-fetched. Even if it’s fake, I have to applaud her for her imagination and creativity in coming up with this sort of story..hehe 😛

  9. tat iwilleatyourpetfrogalive is really a biatch… wat the heck was tat all about? watch ur actions, biatch!!! don sound as if u’re funny or wat!!! and u can GOD my arse!!! idiot

  10. i think the winner’s obvious.. it just can’t be true.. omg… i’m talking about iwilleatyourpetfrogalive by the way. hope the chocolate will do her some good -P

  11. voted for the 1st one, seriously pitiful dude lol, i’d never imagined someone at form 2 actually having the guts to take a bus all the way to Ipoh alone just to get an Ipoh hor fun to fulfill a girl’s whim, lmao how dumb can a person get, guess love can

  12. Just shows that we have a lot of crazy guys around. Even if the stories are made up, they do have an imagination. I would pick No 1. because he reminds me of my youth when I did crazy thing for the girl I loved.

  13. the 2nd one is the funniest real one. the 3rd one is EXTREMELY funny but i doubt it lah. unless the girl doesnt mind sharing her photos of the god guy. i definitely wouldnt mind seeing someone like that. +licks lips+

  14. Voted for the first… innocent desperate story. It shows how far some ppl could go for love. =D
    The guy in the 2nd one wasn’t desperate, just plain stupid.
    And the 3rd one is too scary to be true.

  15. I voted for the 3rd one cause it’s just so bloody funny in a “kwa cheong” way. Who cares if it’s fake? It’s well creative if it IS fake, and seriously desperate if it’s true. And Kenny DID say the most hilarious story wins. The 1st guy is a pathetic sod, that’s for sure. But it’s not something I’d laugh about. Although Kenny also did say something about “real life” stories…

  16. I voted for the 3rd one cause it’s just so bloody funny in a “kwa cheong” way. Who cares if it’s fake? It’s well creative if it IS fake, and seriously desperate if it’s true. And Kenny DID say the most hilarious story wins. The 1st guy is a pathetic sod, that’s for sure. But it’s not something I’d laugh about. Although Kenny also did say something about “real life” stories…

  17. oH crap, im top 3. =)
    im all smiles. grinning like a bitch.
    tell you guys, after that incident, i didnt talk to girls for a period of time.
    *keeps fingers crossed coz my 3310 is seriously making me wail like a banshee!

  18. 1st is like typical when-i-was-young type of story.
    2nd is like bluffing.
    3rd is like hollywood style script.
    i vote for 1st :p

  19. The first one I have heard many times before. Weird. Maybe there are a lot of KL-ites who’d go to Ipoh to get ipoh hor fun for their loves? The second one shouldn’t even qualify. It’s not desperation, it’s just stupidity. The third one sounds made up, but hell, it was funny! 😀

  20. eeyer the third girl sounds crazily obsessed. but the other two were damn funny. especially the semen.. the ipoh hor fun guy’s story seems a teensy bit boring, i guess.

  21. i like the 3rd one. maybe its not a “Real” story but it did “lighted up my day” ! haha. was having coffee , relaxing a little before going to work, and reading and after reading the 3rd story.. arhhhh.. i simply like it..
    xspecially the last part.
    “….In case they ever do get married, I will cook the fish and eat it to their celebration.”
    why not.. “i will cook the fishes and pack them as a gift for their wedding’s present.”
    well the 1st and 2nd story both were nice too! *thumbs up*
    – i wish i can join the compeptition too! but too bad.. im from brunei. =)

  22. 3rd wan is not winning the guy’s heart, it’s expressing her obsession with him…doesn’t meet the category if you ask me…

  23. Oh gawd, Kenny, if you let No. 3 win, it would be encouraging violence (and insane-ness) !! And I am not sure if its the type of person you want to have such a nice sparkly pure-looking 3G phone.
    No. 1 Sounds great! Real enough, and still crazy, but still possible.

  24. vote for number one because he is number one!!! Aiya you all, he was such a sweet guy and sincere, he deserves the phone.
    vote for number one!!
    vote for number one!!
    vote for number one!!

  25. I think tat iwilleatyourpetfrogalive is being overreacting.. I mean, who would do such thing? Too fake le la.. Anyway, I support the 2nd story.. Very very funny!

  26. Kenny, I hope you read this comment. When is the date line for sending in story ? I want to submit mine on the 20th of November because that’s the last day of my exam.
    A story worth reading, I guarantee you. Thanks.

  27. The 3rd story sounds incredibly fake to me. And it is probably fake as well. No votes for that one, I’m going for the Ipoh Hor Fun story; so sweet, yet sad at the same time.

  28. Damn, I wish the third one wouldn’t win, because that would be rewarding such friggin freaky desperate behaviour that they’re still not obviously ashamed of!

  29. 3rd story… really sounds desperate, make me wonder if there’s such Malaysian exist (pretty scary leh)…
    but I still go for 3rd… coz its LMAO and crazy…

  30. Dear Kenny if no. 3 wins, judging from the poll she’s pretty popular, please post out the phone because if she falls for u. She’ll probably inflict the weirdest SM/stalking shit on you.
    Take no chances.
    Personally I liked the first one 🙂
    We’ve all been a sucker at some point of our lives.

  31. for the poll, the 3rd story definitely score the highest as tat’s the weirdest, but i dun think she deserve for the white chocolate, but the first one deserve it! maybe u can give away some SM toys to the no.3 >.

  32. omg. why why WHY does the 3rd one sound like it was written by a guy?
    i mean, (s)he DID say that (s)he worked as a waiter.
    ring any bells?
    warning bells perhaps??

  33. 1st one sounds sweet and the crazy things he did just to win the girls heart =)
    3rd is just whack…. doesn’t sound like she/he was desperate but was lusting and just wanna get under the guys pants. and it sounded like a guy typing it

  34. i too think the 3rd story fake..where got such whacko girls??? not in way.. i don’t even think guys do tat.. bahhhhhhh!!..i go with the 2nd was seriously shitty stupid! u go cummer! LOL!

  35. ::quote::
    before I sleep, I stick a sticker on my lucky birth mark that is on my right buttock
    that part is just SUCH A GIVEAWAY that No.3’s story is fake la… I VOTE FOR NO.1!! such a sweet guy…

  36. WTH, The 3rd story was such a crap and ridiculous!!! and the writes’s such biatch !!!
    Fuck her up with that kind of nonsense story !!! and is she blind folded to fall in love with a restuarant guy ???? find some 1 richer maa !!!
    Though i voted for her =(

  37. gosh i can’t believe 54% of u ppl out there actually bought iwilleatyourpetfrogalive’s story!!! although it is funny but it sounds down right fake and it feels like she/he/he-she’s underestimating our intelligence by posting something so ridiculous.
    note to iwilleatyourpetfrogalive : why don’t u just channel ur creativity and morbidity into writing scripts for B or even C grade horror movies for hollywood? i’m sure u’re quite suitable for tat field.
    neways ppl, stop voting for her. she/he/he-she doesn’t deserve it. think guy #1 is more worthy

  38. ” Is there a desperate addict in my life ? ”
    There were so many stories in my life that can be used to answer Kenny’s this question. However, I have chosen the one below.
    Being in love is arguably one of the most exciting thing in a person’s life. This applies to everyone’s life, with no exception, me. People regard love is blind, because once a person is in love, everything is just about the person they love. A young soul like me would like to share the most deperate story in my love life. Not saying this as blind love, I think this is more to ‘ total desperate ‘ to impress my ex-girl friend.
    Giving a mindful thought and flashback to what happened last year, I laughed and smiled. This is a story about me, folding 999 paper stars for my ex-girlfriend a year ago.
    It was her 18th birthday, and of course, as a boyfriend, I would like to impress her. However, we are living too far apart (about 1 and the half hours drive). A month before her birthday, I went to KL, walked around a few shopping mall, to buy her a doll. A ‘frog’ doll, because that’s what she called me. Yes, “Frog” for some reason. The idea of buying her a “frog” doll for her 18th birthday suddenly came into my mind because I hope that, she seeing the doll, is like seeing me. This is the problem of long distance relationship. I can’t help.
    Okay, I bought this doll and a big box, I went back to my hometown. I ran up to my brother and asked him to teach me how to fold paper stars. 999 paper stars symbolizes “forever love”. That was what in my heart, for that very particular moment. I wanted to impress her, I wanted her to know that I love her more than anything else. I picked up how to fold paper stars in just 15 minutes. I am a new folder (not as easy as a “right click” and open a new folder). I set the target to fold 999 stars in 3 days (just right before her birthday). However, being so naive, I thought it will take only a while.
    I was so desperate ! Why ?
    I gave up playing soccer every evening. Soccer is like my life. I can’t live without it, but just because I want to finish all the STARS, I stayed at home everyday. Rejected all the calls from my friends because I knew they were going to ask me to somewhere. *I was back in Malaysia for my holiday break in Perth*. Just imagine, how desperate am I, spending my time at home, folding paper stars for someone, who is not actually guaranteed to be my wife. To impress her, I did not care what others say.
    My mom said this to me ” you don’t be stupid, folding so much and you don’t even know if she’s true to you. If one day she leaves you, don’t be mad and cry like a baby ”
    My dad says ” don’t hurt yourself at the end by putting in too much hope now ”
    I DID NOT CARE and just WALKED AWAY. It took me more than 2 days (48 hours nonstop, combined all the time I SPENT) to finish all the 999 stars. I drove to the shop, to buy more paper. I did not know how much paper I required. I ended up going to the same shop thrice, just to buy paper to fold paper stars. The boss was wondering how much I was folding. He went like WHAT ? 999 ! ? when I told him.
    I folded day and night. My daily routine for the three days were something like this. Wake up -> start to fold -> lunch -> continue folding -> dinner -> continue folding. That was basically what I have been doing for the past 3 days. Asked why I did not do that earlier if I love her so much ? Well, that idea came like 3 days before her birthday. It was a good one, and of course, I did not give up just because I was running out of time. I even fall asleep in the middle of the folding process. Mom saw, she woke me up (and guess what…it was like 2am in the morning) and I opened my eyes, and I started folding again. This hurted her because I gave up the time to sleep, just to fold. I KNEW if I don’t do that, I wouldn’t be able to finish them. 999 isn’t a small number. She asked me to stop folding, but I ignored her. I turned my mom down, just because I wanted to impress my ex-girlfriend. Sometimes when I was tired, I lay on my bed and fold. I just non stop folding……….
    I managed to finished them just before her birthday. I drove to the shop, to get a bottle to fill all that up. Too bad, none of the bottle can fill them up. I ended up putting them in a nice looking small bag (which I bought on the same day)
    The next morning, I woke up, get myself dressed .. and drove to her place. It took me, one and the half hour, as i told to get there. We have decided to meet in one of the shopping complex. I reached there 30 minutes earlier. Not forget to tell, that was the first official date for both me and her. I waited inside one of the cafeteria , feeling nervous. I had a bouquet of flower beside me, her gigantic present box with the “frog” doll inside and most preciously her 999 stars. I waited patiently…
    30 minutes passed…
    45 minutes passed…
    An hour passed….
    She still haven’t turn up. No sms, no phone call … nothing …
    I already finished my second glass of drinks…Then I got an sms from her.. saying..she was going to be late…and she said sorry…I replied by saying ” nvm it’s ok .. take your time ”
    After sitting there for nearly 2 hours .. finally my phone rang….
    I picked up the phone .. and she cried .. I was so nervous and desperately want to see her .. because I did not know what had happened to her .. She said .. come to the roof (roof parking area). I ran up using the stairs (i couldn’t find the lift) holding the flowers, the gigantic box and all the stars ..
    I looked around, and saw her car…she was crying..and I ASKED her why.. she just said.. i am sorry.. i can’t go out with you today. I’s ok.. i will call you later..
    *put her presents in her car* and she drove off….
    I later found out from her that, she had some arguement with her mom and she must go back home. This was understandable and I did not have any bad feeling.
    Just I was desperately wanted to have a good birthday celebration with her, and I ended up driving back to my hometown. WHICH means… I drove 3 hours ++ for an empty date. I lied to my parents that I actually had a date with her on that day when they asked me. I was so desperate.
    And now, she has gone .. the 999 stars I folded … the frog from a mall after walking for almost 8 hours .. the journey to and back which took me more than 3 hours .. weren’t enough to keep her heart with me ….
    And at this time, I still desperately want to fold another 2 paper stars for her.. (adding to the 999 I gave her last year) which makes it 1001 , brings the meaning I love you forever (if i am not mistaken)
    Am I desperate ?
    Sorry for this late entry, Kenny. I was busy with studies :).
    Cheers !

  39. i voted for number one….
    number 3 sounds so fake.. and kenny sia did mention real true stories…
    hope number one wins..
    number 2 is just plain dumb and disguting

  40. no.3 is F* hilarious…ahahaha…eventhou it does sound fake…but wat an imagination…and if its real, wow girl…call me…my vote r for her…cheerios….

  41. Well, after reading all those who submitted their entries from the start till now, I have to say the winnier is……….PATHETIC…… 🙂

  42. Don’t insult our intelligent lah, Kenny. iwilleatyourpetfrogalive is a gay lah, not girl. You read his post properly or not, Kenny.

  43. Well, after reading all those pathetic entries from the start till now, I have to say the winner is still …….PATHETIC…… 🙂

  44. ahaha! NUMBER 3!!!
    ahahah shit wei! couldnt stop laughing my ass off!!!!
    damn funny! it might be crazy, but kenny said the funniest!
    number three gonna wei loo

  45. shave the dog but it didn’t bark? climbed into ppl’s house anyhow anytime u like?? threw stones but it hit the GRILL?? huh? i tot grill’s supposed to be inside of the window-glass??
    too far-fetched la… like no logic lehh……
    i’d go for the 1st one… just like meng at 11 November 2006 8:30 PM said, VERY RESPECT-DEMANDING!!!

  46. omg u kidding me. that iwilleatyourpetfrogalive is soooo fake. and……MPH doesnt sell such witchcraft book. sheeezzh.

  47. the third one is so fucking funny.
    i think it deserves the phone.
    for the mutherfuckingwin!!!!
    k bye.

  48. i like the 3rd one best..
    it really sounds desperate for stuff like tht…but the 2nd one is eewwwww…i’ll die if i do this
    1st one was barely funny but do sounds nice if sumone wil do tht for me..=p..
    i lik=e this this entry man…
    great job..^^

  49. The first story was ok. The second was gross. The third story was way too fake. The author of the third one has rich imagination but shouldn’t it be more realistic? Kenny said it clearly, real life story. The story just didn’t sound so real to me.

  50. The first story was ok. The second was gross. The third story was way too fake. The author of the third one has rich imagination but shouldn’t it be more realistic? Kenny said it clearly, real life story. The story just didn’t sound so real to me.

  51. The first story was ok. The second story was just gross. The third story was just way too fake and didn’t sound like she was really desperate. She has rich imagination but this whole desperate thing is for real life. Her story didn’t sound so real to me. I don’t support any of them but I truly hope the third one won’t get a chance.

  52. Disregard it being far fetched, but surely we know there are more crazy stuff going on around the world that is truthful. What makes this story fake just because it is outrageous? I am not saying it is real , and that is not the point, just that you all are jumping to conclusions.

  53. 3!!!!!!1
    iwilleatyourpetfrogalive. friggin hilarious!!!
    i voted for her, along with massive salutes for her hilarious-ness.

  54. haha I think the third one deserves to win! Really far fetched and maniacal, but it IS supposed to be a desperate addict story …
    i wanted to submit also but my desperate stories not anywhere near as good as those three!

  55. things that people do in the name of “love”..or really “infatuation”…sigh….i will go for the first one..very sincere..but too bad girl didn’t see that sincerity which is a rarity these days..sincere or foolish, you can see it both ways lor..

  56. Going halfway around the world just to tell some girl you are worried and that you had feelings for her, despite knowing you are about to get a lashing because nothings happening and landing yourself in a world of hurt? -check
    Peforming above mentioned point about letting her know about your feelings because your best friend pulled down his pants at 2 am in the morning on a singaporean road? – check
    Lugging bloody 15 kgs worth of food in your luggage whilist travelling to europe alone to look for some girl , in the midst getting hopelessly lost in a TRAIN station in sweden? – check
    I still feel dumb , and it still hurts. haha. but i guess i can relate to the first story. Good luck to that guy next time!

  57. I salute for the first one who go all the way to Ipoh to buy Hor Fun. It is rare to see this kind of guy these days. But, he has show his love to wrong girl who is a spoilt brat.
    The second one was gross…Yucks…
    The third was too imaginative..I guess she watched too much romantic/silly movies.

  58. Pathetic should not blame himself ; ; so sad wtf that bitch, I hope karma comes back to kick her in the ass someday. And OMG the last story chick has to go to therapy. Seriously. LOL But I vote for her, hope she enjoys her Chocolate phone while dining on pet fish.

  59. wow…i love the 1st one….the guy is so sweet and cute…cOOL!!! the 2nd one is disgusting and the guy must be nut!!! the 3rd one…my god….so *lame*…..come on, let support the pathetic dude!!!

  60. I vote for pathetic cos he’s the most pathetic, the second is just freaky and the hirs is a psychopathic stalker more scary then pathetic

  61. Argghh…. I voted for the 3rd. I seriously think Pathetic has a very good write as well. If there’s a chance, I will want to revote for Pathetic…

  62. I voted for the last one, that is fucking creepy! You should have your head checked!
    Pathetic is just pathetic but JC is hilarious!

  63. i cant believe you idiots who voted for the third one. it’s complete BULLSHIT. i voted for the first one, because at least that one made sense.

  64. I have nothing positive to say about the third one. Too fake. Honey, if you wanted to lie, you could’ve done a better job. The second one was pretty gross, I’m a little freaked out. The first one was the best, though I think the guy obviously fell in love with the wrong girl. Karma’ll get to her, I bet. I ‘spose it’s clear who I voted for. 🙂 first one all the way, babey.

  65. #3 is ridiculously fake.
    Even if on a very minimal chance those things did happen, the way she recalls the incidents and puts them down in words, is still too exeggerated, in a way its disturbing.
    Much like a raving lunatic still ecstatic with every thought about her sodomised-victim sometime back.
    She just sounds like she’s trying too hard to put up a ‘good’ story.
    Either that, or she’s got pyschological issues man =/

  66. Yo iwilleatyourpetfrodalive “ROCKS!!!” Though i think u should be arrested or enrole in some psychological therapy or sumthing…. i think your psychoness is spot on!!! she’s nuts! i really hope i’ll never get to know you but i think your the one, the LG phone winner! How can u not be!?! you’re psycho’er than me!

  67. i know the third one sounds really far-fetched but it made me crack into fits of laughter. XD
    so yeah! im voting for that one. =D way to go, girl!! XD
    the sperm one was just weird. =__=”

  68. #3 is Amazing! If I had a choice on who I would like to meet, it would definately be her – she’d be so much fun. #1 is pretty sad, while #2 is just brainless.
    Also brownie points for the dramatic construction of the story, the other 2 were kinda drab

  69. lol! why does everyone think that the third story is fake??/
    maybe its a compilation of all her friend’s desperate attempts that she bundled into one? really creative if you ask me. or maybe she really did all of that? ahah! either way, the third one really got me laughing so hard. voted for number 3 !! =D

  70. pick willeatyourpetfrogalive. he’s great. i think he’s a guy. thank God for his humor. made me laugh out loud today. i’m printing his story out. 😉

  71. niamapondek laa third one good. you all retarded ar now?? siaokia… the first one may not be real, but the story also more real than the third one la.. u all damn dumb la. zzzzzzz….

  72. Out of three selections, the 2nd and 3rd is fake.
    I thought this was about true stories of desperate love.
    So, the people who sincerely wrote about their TRUE experiences failed, while some dumbshit who bullshitted their way through got selected as the Final Three ?
    The only credible one seems to be the first one.
    Not much of a vote, eh ?
    Would it hurt your ego that much to reconsider the final three ? People make mistakes. Shit can be extremely attractive, trust me, I know. 🙂

  73. No 3 is way too fake and lame!! Why is it even in the top 3 when there are so many entries. Im sure some are better?!?! Anyways, i’d vote for 1 outta all the 3..

  74. “iwilleatyourpetalive’s story reflected her personality – unacceptable, incorrect morale”
    wtf?? these kinda ppl read kenny sia? go watch your golf and cnn la.
    number three was the best la. im having a shitty lunch here in my office, and i read this crazy story. it made my day. funny as well as creative! well, im buying it! NUM. 3! XD

  75. Was thinking of voting for number 3 but the expletives he/she is using doesn’t go down with me. In fact, it’s those words that makes the story seem far fetched. As for number 2, nah…
    So, my vote is for number 1.

  76. the 3rd one was definately hard to believe but then again it might be true . mayb she’s a fucking despo idiot . thats how desperate people get when there’s a nice phone to win . SAD ITS FAKE althou i voted for it . xD

  77. the 1st story was ermm how to say . ermm . the story is kinda true la cause like it can happen . girls can be nasty . they use us . the 3rd 1 is like damn fake . she over exaggerate . she sure damn sad wan la . write until like that

  78. the sperm 1 damn funny la . how stupid can a guy get?wad was he thinking?givin sperm to a girl..smell and taste..HELLO DUDE . she’s just acting innocent la . probably she gets cum on her face every now and then . HAHAHA

  79. hhmmm…very very interesting, poor thing for the 2nd artice guy, he’s just so clueless…. kesian the 1st guy also, victim of the type of girls i hate…….lol

  80. ermm the 2nd dude . i wonder how many bottles of tongkat ali he took . and like how many times he shoot only accumulate that much of sperm . dude . i love u la . u rock my world . u shall be my new hero . SPERMMAN

    Common! How funny was that? VERY FUNNY !!! DAMN!!!!!!!!! that guy is pretty cool!!

  82. oh nooooooo!!!!!
    am i too late for this? my friend just told me about it and told me to post. i posted anyway larhs just to try my luck!
    but really ya, the 3rd story sounds very DAMN fake lohh…

  83. My vote goes to the ipoh hor …poor guy… 2nd one too creepy…..3rd one hilarious but doubtful if someone who writes so well can act that crazy!!!

  84. was there any rules saying it has to be ‘based on a true story’?? if yes, definitely the first story. poor fella.
    but if it’s open to your imagination.. definitely the 3rd entry, freako!!! i wouldn’t want a friend like u mann.. u have issues gal/gay/guy ‘W’ WATEVA!

  85. Hi Kenny,
    Please post a photo of iwilleatyourpetfrogalive if he/she wins. I desperately need to know who this person is.

  86. might i just add that the last story of the 3 was completely insane! Desperate? yeah she deffinitely made it desperately easy for us! But its a tad fake.
    Will vote for the ipoh hor fun one.

  87. no. 3 is bullshit lah…u wana make up a story at least make it sound real…and even if it was true…what would u need a phone in a mental institution for?…respect goes to no.1

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