Its quite unfortunate that I didn’t get to go out much during my time in Sibu. I was stuck at work most of the time. Coupled with the flood and rain, it really wasn’t a good idea to fit some sightseeing into my schedule.
For two nights I stayed at Li Hua Hotel, which is a three-star hotel overlooking the Teh-C-Peng-like Rejang River. My room window faces the river, and from the 7th floor the view is simply amazing. There’s something about big rusty old cargo ships sailing past equally old and rusty jetties that’s so beautiful, so quaint, so…. uniquely Sarawakian.

Titanic, this is not.

I always feel a sense of connection with the Rejang River, like we have something in common. Its not surprising though. After all, Rejang is Malaysia’s longest river, and I have Malaysia’s longest penis… nevermind. 🙂

If I can’t afford a bungalow by the beach front, this is where I’ll be staying.

A lot of people regard Penang as the food capital of Malaysia. Perhaps I’m a little biased but I’m afraid I have to disagree on that. (Ok lah, I’m very biased! ;)) I think Sarawak has the best range of authentic Malaysian food that suits the palate of people all over the world.
The food in Sibu is disgustingly cheap and many times I feel like giving some tips to the kopitiam waitress just because service was so prompt. Sometimes I wonder why posh 5-star restaurants have the audacity to ask us for tips for their crappy service when the young girl at the kopitiam deserves it more and yet we never thought of giving anything extra to her.
Anyway, back to food. The trademark food of Sibu is the kampua mee (or ‘dry plate noodle’ in Hokkien). Although this Foochow dish is available in Kuching, Sibu is the place where you can savour this yummy noodle in all its authentic and original glory.

I like my kampua the way I like my ladies. Cheap, quick, hot and saucy. 😉 But not with charsiew on top please.

This plate costs me RM1.80 (or AUD$0.60, the price of one pack of chewing gum in Perth). I had mine the way I like it, and that’s with soy and chilli sauce. It tastes very much like Indo Mee Goreng, except its drier and fresher. I reckon if you lick your computer monitor really hard you might be able to taste it.

The size of this coconut is about as big as my balls. Except mine is bigger.

I ordered a fresh coconut (RM2.00) to go with it. I’m a strong believer that coconut water should only be drank straight from its shell. Anything other than that is an unneccessary compromise.

Ice kacang? Pfft! Sibu people wouldn’t stoop to that level. So, they created FRUIT ICE.

This is Sibu’s famed Shui Guo Bing (or ‘Fruit Ice’ in Mandarin) for RM2.00. Its essentially a big bowl of shaved ice and some jelly atop pieces of watermelons, honeydew, pineapple, lychee, etc. This mouth-watering dessert is best savoured after a round of hot spicy dishes to cool your tongue down.
Hungry yet? 🙂
11:30pm was the only time I could explore Sibu on my own. The good news is, there were pubs around the hotel I was staying that operate late into the night. The bad news is, these are dangdut pubs featuring fugly singers with thick make-ups and skimpy clothing unfortunate enough to be cursed with singing voices that rival the ah-peks of Chinese wedding dinners.

There’s something incredibly sexy about big-sized makciks cooking your late-night supper

I was lucky there were few late night kopitiams around, mostly selling seafood. I saw a makcik (Malay for ‘auntie’) skillfully cooking seafood on a sorry-excuse-for-a-BBQ stove. I remembered my workmate recommending the sotongs (‘octopus’) of Sibu, so I wasted no time ordering one.

Sotong + Sambal + Kangkung = Where’s my gym membership?

This is Sibu’s sotong, grilled to perfection with traditional Malay’s sambal paste and some fresh kangkung. It really is as delicious as it looks. A dish worth coming back to Sibu for indeed.

Obligatory late-night shots of Sibu.

Before I leave Sibu, I just had to do a shot of the town’s landmark. The place was quiet except for a few loud and drunk teenagers loitering around. Not far from here is the Sacred Heart Cathedral where a mass was held mourning the death of Pope John Paul II.

What’s this “kilogram” thing you’re talking about? Sibu people still use the “kong” system.

Sibu is an intriguing little place that retains much of its old-town charm. Its so quaint, so fascinating. I can’t wait for the next time I travel to Sibu to explore the place a little bit more. Hopefully, without the flood.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
To conclude this diary entry on a funny note. Introducing, the worst name for a cafe in Sibu…

Who the *toot* would call their business the “Mobilephone Cafe”?

A MOBILEPHONE CAFE? A cafe for mobile phones? wtf? I don’t know about you but this is what I imagine what the inside of the cafe would look like.

Bartender: Hey wassup, what would you like to D-Ring?
Patron: The usual – just a glass of battery juice please. 🙂

Just as I was editting this photo, my elder sister walked into the room.

Sister: “Why you took a photo of that cafe?”
Kenny: “‘Cos it has a funny name.”
Sister: “What’s so funny about its name?”
Kenny: “Well, its called Mobilephone Cafe!”
Sister: “I don’t see why that’s funny. I mean there are Internet Cafes so what’s wrong with Mobilephone cafe?”
Kenny: “………………”

I think my sister turned into Jessica Simpson after she got married.

I hope I didn’t shock anyone with this entry’s title. 🙂 I just got back from Sibu, and man… what a trip that was! My flight from Kuching to Sibu was definitely one of the most terrifying flights I have ever been on.

Sibu from air. The town of Sibu reminded me of Kuching ten years ago, when there were more trees than buildings.

Sibu is located about 30 minutes north of Kuching by flight. My flight departed Kuching airport 5:30pm on Sunday. By 5:50pm, the captain PA-ed through advising us that the flight is due to be landed shortly. Everything was SOP (standard operating procedure) up till this point.

In-flight safety demos: the only thing preventing me from becoming an air steward.

As the Boeing 737 began descending onto Sibu airport, we experienced a mild turbulence which progressively grew in magnitude. Before long, the entire aircraft was shaking and dropping uncontrollably. Few passengers were already making use of the air sickness bags for reasons other than stealing Malaysia Airline’s cups and cutleries.
Looking outside the window, I could see, amid thick clouds, that we were close to landing. I held onto the passenger seat in front of me, expecting a bumpy touchdown while cursing myself for ignoring the pre-flight safety demonstrations. Then suddenly, instead of landing, the aircraft picked itself up and climbed back onto air. Sensing confusion, the captain advised us that we were unable to land due to bad weather. We circled the air, waiting for the weather in Sibu to clear up.

Scene of chaos at the departure hall, Kuching

After 2 hours of circling Sibu’s airspace, we were running out of fuel. The aircraft flew back to Kuching to re-fuel and dumped the passengers in the departure hall. It was 8:00pm and we hadn’t yet had our dinner. Starving, I sauntered to the only cafe opening at the Kuching airport’s departure hall only to find out that a RM2.50 kueh tiaw costs RM8.40. I politely declined, instead purchasing RM8.40 worth of biscuits and chocolates which I shared with my five other workmates.

By 9:00pm, we were back up in the air en-route to Sibu once again. That was another equally horrendous bumpy ride that only the West Malaysians who have experienced the earthquake could understand. The astonishing thing here was that there were passengers stupid enough to get up and go to the toilet in the middle of a major turbulence. Its amazing to see an ah-mah trying to balance herself holding onto the seats on a bumpy air-ride, whilst asking people where the toilet is. Until that dat, I have never seen an air stewardess shouting at passengers to get back to their seat.

Stewardess: “MA’AM! YOU MUST GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT NOW!“
Ah-mah: “But I wanna pee-pee. :(“

We touched down at 9:45pm with a hard and solid thud, followed by cheers and applause and mobile phones ringing because I forgot to turn mine off before boarding (oops!). My workmates and I exited the departure gate only to realise that our driver had conveniently left us to go home and sleep. 🙂 Anyway, we flagged a taxi and checked into Li Hua Hotel.

Sibu at last.

I only got to see the effect of heavy rain the day after.

Sibu, flooded.

Water in the drain spilled over onto the roads. Roads became rivers and cars looked more like boats. There were no shortage of stalled cars by the roadside and residents looked on as if its just another day in Sibu. There was so much water everywhere, I’m beginning to suspect the people of Sibu might actually be amphibious to be able to live in a condition like this.

I noticed that the drains in Sibu are all extra-ordinarily wide. In fact, they looked more like the water canals of Venice.

Even then, the drainage system was still no match for such force of nature.
I was put off by the brown-yellowish colour of the drain water. I doubt the sewerage system of Sibu is functioning, so God knows what’s beneath the water. A mixture of mud, shit, soil, shit, urine, shit, etc most probably. Ugh. I tried not to think too much about it. So I visualised the brownish water as Teh Ais instead.

Yum!