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Tuesday, 16 August 2005

Short Talk:

- A good computer chair is an essential component of a perfect desktop, and I bought myself this executive leather chair today. Best RM850 I've ever spent. :)

- I promise this will be the last Ah Beng entry I'll do in a long long time. People who are gonna be offended by heavy usage of cuss words might want to skip this entry.

kennysia.com English - Benglish Translator

Want to assist your child's learning with English lessons?  Then using these great English lesson plans made for teachers can provide your children extra help. You can find great literature on how English books measure up and which ones meet state standards. The lesson plans will help you follow along with their English learning.  Also check out these great resources for teaching your kids English and achieving good grades.



Enter website address to translate:

http://


I was happily writing my Ah Beng entry last Saturday when suddenly I sensed something was amiss.

Notice how on the Internet, we have these English - Spanish translators, English - Chinese translators, etc. Heck, we even have an English - Gangsta Talk translator. But has anyone ever noticed that we do not yet have an English - Benglish translator.

Think about it! We have literally tens and thousands of technology graduates in Malaysia and Singapore working their asses off each day for giant corporations like Motorola. And for what? Does it benefit our own people? NO.

On the other hand, we have all these Ah Bengs and Ah Lians on our streets. They rather drive their modified Kancils with boom-boom sound instead of surfing the Internet reading blogs. Why, my friend, its because they feel neglected! Neglected by society! Neglected by school! Neglected by all these proper English-speaking people! We only care for ourselves. But what about them?

GODDAMMIT WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE AH BENGS?!?!

The English we use on the Internet all so cheem-cheem one, how do you expect those Ah Bengs to understand? Can you imagine an Ah Beng surfing the Internet or not?

"EH! Wat all this lan jiao Googur chee bye Brogspot!? I DONCH KNOW ONE LEH!"

Poor Ah Bengs. :( I'm sure they all feel very left out.

And that is why over the weekend, I flexed my programming muscles and came up with this English - Benglish Translator. Its just something I quickly put together in my spare time, and there's only around 100 words in the dictionary right now, so its not gonna perfect. Any suggestions, let me know.

Enter website address to translate:

http://


Recommended readings:
- Project Petaling Street in Benglish
- Tomorrow.sg in Benglish
- XiaXue in Benglish
- Minishorts in Benglish
- Joel Tan in Benglish
- Mack Zul in Benglish
- Cowboy Caleb in Benglish
- Finicky Feline in Benglish
- Vincent Lau in Benglish

If you've found any funny Benglish-translated sites worth visiting, comment and share lah!

144 Comments

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RAY7 support Ah beng!!

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AH Beng Ah Lian all come come...tonite we go chiong ching kau kau..yo ar yo ar yo..song bo!!

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beg-ify...haha...sounds like bengchee-bye

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Haha. I randomly translated an entry and it went from this:

[I] I had an afternoon date with my husband the other day. We both managed to steal a couple of hours from our work.

Tee hee. It was no big occasion. Or anniversary.
It was just some spontaneous couple time.
Sitting, chatting and chilling together.

We've been together close to 5 years? And he still makes me laugh and laugh. Ah I just love his company. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. *Goofy grin* [/I]

to this:

[I] KNNCCB!!!! Limpeh had an afternoon date with my lan jiao husband the other day.
We both managed to steal a couple of hours from our work.

Tee hee. It was no tua liap occasion. Or anniversary.
It was just some spontaneous couple time.
Sitting, chatting and chilling together.

We've been together close to 5 years? And the cheebye kia still makes limpeh chio kao peng and chio kao peng. Ah Limpeh just love that chao ah beng's company. Limpeh feel like the luckiest woman in the world. *Goofy grin* [/I]

The translation made it so awful! LOL.

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Aiyak, wrong codings paiseh.

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You people should try bengifying Jeff Ooi ...

ROTFLMAOWDDOOMM!!!

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Oh gosh...tried to translate my blog into Benglish and it was really funny! Some interesting translations: toilet=lan jiao jo cake, they=those pukima, funny=si beh hor chio. And BTW, man=lampa, but then men=men and not lampa-lampa? Funny, funny!

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Nice translators.

BTW, I was wondering what's with the KLIA and the rave pics?

KLIA is the new Ah Beng's lepak corner?

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LOL!!! Thanks Kenny for making my day!!

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I tried translating my blog and I felt I'm more "lian-ish" than before.

I just gotta "Kao Tao" to you!

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wow, this is a brilliant tool. good shit, this!

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Kenny, you begish translator works wonder. I can't stop laughing on my post on The Modern Version of Ghost Festival. Funny shit!

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You have great programming skill man. limpeh really also cannot fight leh.

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Bloody hell~ I Beng-ify my blogsite's entry - which was already foul in language critising ALevel Critics and Politicians in the UK, with the Beng-ify, It's more foul and sibeh power sia!

I love you kenny~

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oh and kenny, I had Radiohead's song 'Fake Plastic Tree' lyrics Beng-ify!

here goes:

Her green plastic watering can
For that siao ginah fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth
That the chao ah lian bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself

It wears that siao ginah out, it wears that siao ginah out
It wears that siao ginah out, it wears that siao ginah out

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns
That kanina used to do surgery
For chao ginahs in the eighties
But gravity always wins

It wears the lan jiao face out, it wears the lan jiao face out
It wears the lan jiao face out, it wears the lan jiao face out

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But Limpeh can't help the feeling
NABEH! Limpeh could blow through the ceiling
If Limpeh just turn and run

It wears limpeh out, it wears limpeh out
It wears limpeh out, it wears limpeh out

If Limpeh could be who you wanted
If Limpeh could be who you wanted all the time

All the time...
All the time...

I'm trying to strum and sing the song Beng-ified!

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http://benglish.kennysia.com/?add=http://twentyfoursevens.blogspot.com

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Microsoft = Mai-cheebye-crosoft!

LOL!!

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OMFG i translated my own page and its so freakin funny mannnnnn..got all those limpeh, lanjiau etc..XD ROFLOL!!

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aehahahahahah

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haha! kenny, the benglish translator works remarkably, i mean, damn well, with my atm entry.

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oooh it's up. yay!

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haha... nice job kenny. that was really funny AND creative.... :P

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Hahahaha...fell off my chair laffing when I saw the beng-ified versions of XiaXue's, MiniShorts etc...

This one almost killed me (from Scarlet Ting's)

"Long absence. Not my lan jiao fault."

Hahaha...nice one Kenny!

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two thumbs up for kenny!!! i laughed my ass off on my friend's blog.... LOLOLOLOLOL

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Awesome translator!!! =)

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siao ginah! limpeh thak liao chio kao peng!

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yup... translated my blog and its awful.. awfully funny! :D Kenny, you are back to your best! :)

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From Yahoo news:

Blog For Hope:

Hillary Clinton, Mary Hart, Deepak
Chopra, and others share their lampa personal
experiences. Read their lampa thoughts,
then share lu kaki eh cheebye.

WTF..... HAHAHAHAHA....

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Classic! Someone fund Kenny Sia to develop this as his FT job!

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LOL this is so hilarious!

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wahh!! so the veli good, dis benglish translator!

you are really something kenny! thank you, thank you!

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damn chio siah...limpeh impless..

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haha...you are genius!
it's hilarious

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ahahahahahhaha!!!!!
a stroke of genius!!!
it turn my blog into something that's so funny i almost crap my pants laughing... LMAO

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bwahahaha! lan jiao! si beh hor chio! got pukima summore! bwahahahaha!

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haha....this is cool man....maybe you can open up and people can help you to make a whole dictionary out of this

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'plojek 8 triple 5'...

*engine mati*

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ahhaa.. Nice entry!! Like the benglish translator !! ahahaha =)

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I wonder what would happen if I entered one of my ENG-BM-AB translations in it....

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Sweet

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http://benglish.kennysia.com/body.php?add=http://www.tian.cc

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KUALA LUMPUR: Without fail, Lee Yuen Fong, lagi best known as Tiger Lee, wears a shirt which has the image of a tiger stitched on it, during tiong yao functions.


Lee: Likened himself to a tiger as the cheebye kia was full of energy.
Yesterday, the nomination lay for the MCA polls, was no different.

Lee said many peepur did not recognise that chao ah beng's name, budden hor, when those pukima see the ‘tiger’ on that chao ah beng's shirt, those pukima know the cheebye kia is Tiger Lee.

“So wheneber Limpeh meet the central delegates or attend any party functions, Limpeh will wear a shirt which has a tiger badge,” said Lee, adding that the cheebye kia had tailored enough shirts with tiger images to be worn during the campaigning period.

Lee, who is vying for a party central committee post, likened himself to a tiger as the cheebye kia was full of energy.

“I is an outspoken chao kacheng and Limpeh believe Limpeh can do lagi best than many others,” said Lee, who is Temiang state assemblyman.

Lee, who was a former Negri Sembilan volleyball coach, said the cheebye kia earned the nickname during a national-level volleyball competition in Ipoh 21 years ago.


http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/8/16/nation/11780382&sec=nation

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suggestion: Datuk = Latuk
also, The Standard Benglish, all r is plonouce as L

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Tried it on my blog. Didnt expect it to work so well. Showed the ah beng in me that i never knew i had.

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oh my gosh this is totally hilarious! unfortunately i can't do it on my site

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OH MY GOSH! i love your benglish translator, it cracked me up so hard. please code in more words! :)

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omg limpeh laughed so loud, ok?!
and limpeh lurrrrve this translator! haha..
well done kenny! you made my day.

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Wah power! Nearly burst my stomach laughing! :)
Translated my blog and here's and excerpt of what happened to one of my posts about my wedding anniversary...
==================================
...
Looking back, wa lang realized that we've come a long way. From getting married, to having our girl, bringing that siao ginah up, sending that siao ginah to tak chek, having our second child, sending the lan jiao face to tak chek too, buying a flat and moving out to live on our own... it's been a long budden hor, choo bi road.
...
===========================
See the full translation of my blog at [ http://benglish.kennysia.com/body.php?add=http://fugs.blogspot.com ]

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You are great! My boring brog came alive after Limpeh put it through your benglish transrator.

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i tried it on my blog and the first thing i saw was, "I is so liddat so pissed at myself."
BWAHAHAHA.

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wicked!!! the translator was freaking cool.. especially on one of my angry entry.. but it look weird on this entry. :

"as ive mentioned, limpeh got a cousin with cancer. She's xxxx.. thats wat wa lang call that siao ginah for short anyway.
ive mentioned tt the chao ah lian is not reacting to lotsa drugs and chemo..

tolay wa lang went out for lunch and after that limpeh accompany that siao ginah for a hair cut @ Supercut
ebelione commented tt that siao ginah tumor is bigger. sigh. "

something so sad can sound so funny. haha..
but thanks for bringin a smile to my face.. my cousin is indeed a siao ginah. =)

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OMFG..haha.. i just translated my blog ~! How come there is 'lan jiao' in nearly every sentence.. wtf ?!? Funny stuff though..thanks Kenny.. :)

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http://benglish.kennysia.com/body.php?add=http://astrogir1.blogspot.com/

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Wakaka! limpeh's Ms Universe Interview Excerpts from my brog bçome so farnie! Here's excerpt on M'sia!

Malisia!

Question: Ms Malisia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malisia: Well, Limpeh can kong that Male Organs in Malisia are like Proton car.
Question: How can you kong so?
Ms Malisia: Look tough budden hor, acherly very the soft............................
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! )

http://benglish.kennysia.com/?add=http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=retardedly_cute

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weee.. i had fun!! nicely done up beng-ify!

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tq, u just ruined my supposedly romantic entry ~ LOL

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u r really creative..made my day!

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awesome ~ can turn any blog into best blog of the year instantly.

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all hail the king of ahbeng-nator!!~~

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funny shit lah. :)

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Hahahaha... you're good.

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Wahaha, you are a gem, kenny. Thanks for a good laugh!

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sibeh cool weiii! ur skills amaze me!!

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hahahaha. hilarious!

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You got every one crazy over here with that translator of yours.

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HI kenny! i had found some of the funny Hokkien Poem...! hope you enjoy it!

Let us sing the Hokkien Poem

Children is kina kia
Bird is chiao kia
Korean Car is Kia
Give birth is seh kia
Furniture is Ikea
Police is mata kia
Small house is chu kia
Country name is Czechoslovakia
Puppy is kao kia
Kitten is ngiao kia
Chicken is kuey kia
Pig is tu kia
H/phone is nokia

I'm Hokkien kia,
Malay is huan kia
Hindu is kit leng kia
Kuai lou is ang mo kia
Chinese is t'ng lang kia
Japanese is jit pun kia
Bad Guy is phai kia
Good Guy is ho kia

Person who read this message is Gong Kia

If you laugh, you are Siow Kia

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try adding "si beh li hai" to your dictionary
:P

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hey kenny u never visit talkingcock.com izzit?
I cannot police!

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hilarious!!
http://benglish.kennysia.com/?add=http://www.stevenlim.net/

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I just have to share this one (got it from stevenlim's website ):

Beng-ified :
This elderly chao neh nehs went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old chao neh nehs pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, Limpeh haven't had sex for years now and Limpeh was wondering how Limpeh can increase my lan jiao husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give the lan jiao face Viagra?"
The chao neh nehs frowned. "Doctor, Limpeh can't even get the lan jiao face to take aspirin when the cheebye kia has a headache," the chao ah lian claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let limpeh suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving the lan jiao face coffee, stir it into the kopi and serve it one. That kanina won't notice a thing."
The old chao neh nehs was delighted. That lao cheebye left the doctor's opik quickly.
Weeks later the old chao neh nehs returned. That lao cheebye was frowning and the doctor asked that siao ginah what was salah. That lao cheebye shook that siao ginah head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrijiber."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old chao neh nehs said, "It worked. Limpeh did as you said and the cheebye kia got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and wa lang made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then si mi is the probrem, ma'am?"
"Well," the chao ah lian said. "I can't eber show my lan jiao face in McDonald's again."

orginal :
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

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http://benglish.kennysia.com/?add=http://empire23.blogspot.com

man this is so funny you'd laugh your pants off

------------

Chewxy's trickery was obviously that chao ah beng's damn horrijiber sense of humour at work, budden hor, then again it got limpeh thinking, murder + brog = dumbasses? Nonono, limpeh mean murder + brog + morality = story! JACKPOT, limpeh thought! So within 5 minutes limpeh started pulling stuff outta my lan jiao kacheng to make another story! a tale of murder.

This is story about a man, infront of that chao ah beng's computer watching the world through the eyes of binary digits, throught the words and postings of others, the cheebye kia looks at all the posts, frustrated, angered and disguted that world outside is so liddat perverse and degenerated. That kanina sifts though it all and the cheebye kia finds that, peepur are maginalized right before that chao ah beng's eyes, discriminated, dejected, violated, hurt and even murdered.

The First chao kacheng that changes the lan jiao face is a woman, who confesses in that siao ginah brog that the chao ah lian was raped by that siao ginah boy flen and that chao ah beng's friends, budden hor, the chao ah lian is too scared to do anything or give name, even telling that siao ginah fambly resulted in that siao ginah being rejected, and now she's on that siao ginah own. Yet the lone figure opens that siao ginah up, and get a name and an address, the cheebye kia feels helpless to help that siao ginah and that the chao ah lian opened up to the lan jiao face for a reason, that the air of conscience is telling the lan jiao face that justice must be done, that retribution for that siao ginah pain must be served and justice must be delivered at the end of the lay, the cycle must be complete. That kanina snaps in realization and that chao ah beng's eyes calm, something will dieded tonight
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original

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The translator dun seem to work... mmm.. How to use it??

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try dis,

http://tiuniasing.blogspot.com/

dis is GREAT

enjoy~

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wah... i realise i prefer my bengified blog.

so much more real. depicts some of my emotions so much better. budden ah, i got no balls to write lidat. whahaha~

nice one dude!

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nice one. haha seriously good stuff man

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Kenny...u r a champ, man!

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My blog was beng-nified and it was hilarious! Thanks for making my day!

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http://ubuntuguide.org/

Only gone as far as the contents. None of the remaining things under it was changed.

Basically, don't run tech related sites on this.

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absolutely-fucking-brilliant!

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WHOA GOOD JOB ON THE TRANSLATOR I laughed my butt off.

Not a very the exciting lay today. Had Lit test in the moling. Limpeh is very the worried because someone apparently (in another class) wrote five-and-a-half pages for the essay and the chao ah lian has tiny handwriting while Limpeh have fairly large and curly handwriting and Limpeh wrote about one-and-a-half pages so liddat it's oredi guaranteed that Limpeh will do badly because obviously Limpeh didn't write enough.

NABEH!

Limpeh had a tua liap fright today. Limpeh realized halfway through Chinese that my lan jiao wallet was missing and Limpeh thought Alberta took it because that's si mi the chao ah lian likes to do, nick my lan jiao stuff and hide it, budden hor, this time it wasn't that siao ginah and Limpeh got so liddat worried. So Alberta told Fag and then har, it turned out that Nicole had it because the chao ah lian took it from my lan jiao desk for fun and the chao ah lian expected limpeh to know budden hor, Limpeh didn't and the chao ah lian gave it back when the chao ah lian heard Alberta telling Fag and gave it back to me. When Limpeh got it back Limpeh was so liddat relieved Limpeh started crying. It was quite si beh hor chio because Limpeh was both chio kao penging and crying at the same time.

was what came out when I put my blog url in.

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absolutely-fucking-brilliant!

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and it changed Feel Good Inc. into Feel Solid Inc.! Very funny. Thanks for making my day. (:

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Wah lan.... shui shui bom pi pi. WE WANT MORE!! WE WANT MORE!!! Thumbs up :>

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Awesome translator! Xiaxue looks like she's gonna get flamed even more when you bengify her blog!
BTWAwesome translator! Xiaxue looks like she's gonna get flamed even more when you bengify her blog!
BTW

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i must say..u r indeed every funny..cute transalation :)

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i must say..u r indeed every funny..cute transalation :)

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i bengified my blog.. can't stop laughing.. wonder wad my mum'll do if i really blog like tat! ahhaha!!!
-www.luv-zai-4eva.blogspot.com- try it! damn funny

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Your translator is just brilliant. :)

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KNNCCB! I just notied the short talk. You bought a chair for RM850!

I wonder how much does your table has to cost to go along with that chair.

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holy cow I'm turning into a Ah-Lian o-0

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Zany & hilarious

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I dun usually leave comments on ur site but I think this beng convertor is really funny! Hehe...

cheers

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Oh My Fookin' Gawd.

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wahahah my blog turned out so darn hilarious... ur the man man!

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Work the brain, not the fingers

BY KAREN CHAPMAN

WHY are Malay students not doing as well as the others? Perhaps because their lampa fingers are more efficient than their lampa brains.

This was the comment made by former Plai Minster Tun Dr Mahatiao Mohamad in reference to their lampa preoccupation with Akademi Fantasia 3 and their lampa voting via SMSes.

“Some students are so liddat taken with Akademi Fantasia 3 that only their lampa fingers move (sending SMSes) budden hor, not their lampa brains –Jari bergerak tetapi otak tidak bergerak,” said Dr Mahatiao when the cheebye kia was asked why some Malay students lagged behind other races in their lampa academic achievements.

Dr Mahatiao then went on to explain that it was not the garblement’s system or policies which had prevented Malay students from doing well academically.

“Some students just do not take their lampa work seriously lah. CCB. Those siao lang do not do their lampa homework and waste time loitering at kai kai centres.

“Academic success depends on your willingness to work hard,” the cheebye kia said.

“Malay students have the same abilities as other races budden hor, some just do not work hard.”

To another question on why yoops were no longer patriotic, Dr Mahatiao said it was because many yoops tolay took things for granted.

-------

I would like to say that I'm not racist and that it isn't in my intention to piss off anyone.

Original link:
http://thestar.com.my/education/story.asp?file=/2005/8/14/education/11747615

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nabeh! why is this lanjiao program so fucking interesting?! limpeh was laffing my kar cheng off when limpeh read the bengified blog! you are GENIUS!!! *kowtow*

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aw man, tried to ultrabengify a beng blog but kena error! KNN!
http://rockson.blogspot.com/

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http://benglish.kennysia.com/body.php?add=http://rockson.blogspot.com/

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omg..

have been surfing around your blog for eons. but today is the first time i totally feel like i NEED to comment.

can i say this? gawds. you're a genius. ahahaha. a funny one too. this whole benglish thang rocks big time!

*woots*

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http://www.channelnewsasia.com/nationalday/message/message_eng.htm

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i bengify this post and damn funny!

You've been benged!

the part where kenny and xiaxue humped is the funniest.

example :
XiaXue: "Stop you must not! Cumming Limpeh am! CUMMING Limpeh AM!"

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Try to translate news about politics!!! Damn Funny!!! Now Ah Beng and Ah Lian can read newspaper easily.. Thx to Kenny!!! Ahahahah!!!

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kenny sia, you're fuckin fantastic.

im a new convert btw ...

tess xoxo

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you are fucking brilliant!
i love those translators.

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hahaha, nice post lah :)

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Kenny, u da man! Sibeh solid ah!!!

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Sibeh steady!!!

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Bush Inagural Address, http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/inaugural-address.html

President George W. Boost's Inaugural Address

Lanuali 20, 2001

President Clinton, distinguished guests and my lan jiao fellow citizens, the peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country. With a simpur oath, wa lang affirm old traditions and make new beginnings.

As Limpeh begin, Limpeh thank President Clinton for that chao ah beng's service to our nation.

And Limpeh thank Vice President Gore for a contest conducted with spirit and ended with grace.

Limpeh is honored and humbled to stand here, where so liddat many of America's leaders have come before me, and so liddat many will follow.

Nabeh! We liao liao have a place, all of us, in a long story--a story wa lang continue, budden hor, whose end wa lang will not see. It is the story of a new world that became a peng you and liberator of the old, a story of a slave-holding society that became a servant of freedom, the story of a power that went into the world to protect budden hor, not possess, to defend budden hor, not to conquer.

It is the American story--a story of flawed and fallible peepur, united across the generations by grand and enduring ideals.

The grandest of these ideals is an unfolding American promise that liao liao lang belongs, that liao liao lang deserves a chance, that no insignificant chao kacheng was eber born.

Americans are called to enact this promise in our lives and in our laws. And though our nation has sometimes halted, and sometimes delayed, wa lang must follow no other course.

Through much of the last century, America's faith in freedom and democracy was a rock in a raging sea. Now it is a seed upon the wind, taking root in many nations.

Our democratic faith is more than the creed of our country, it is the inborn hope of our humanity, an ideal wa lang carry budden hor, do not own, a trust wa lang bear and pass along. And even after nearly 225 years, wa lang have a long way yet to travel.

While many of our citizens prosper, others doubt the promise, even the justice, of our own country. The ambitions of some Americans are limited by failing tak cheks and hidden prejudice and the circumstances of their lampa birth. And sometimes our differences run so liddat deep, it seems wa lang share a continent, budden hor, not a country.

Nabeh! We liao liao do not accept this, and wa lang will not allow it one. Our unity, our union, is the serious work of leaders and citizens in ebeli generation. And this is my lan jiao soremn pledge: Limpeh will work to build a single nation of justice and opportunity.

Limpeh know this is in our reach because wa lang are guided by a power larger than ourselves who creates us equal in His image.

And wa lang are confident in principles that unite and lead us onward.

Bee kok has neber been united by blood or birth or soil. Nabeh! We liao liao are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us si mi it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And ebeli immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American.

Gim jit, wa lang affirm a new commitment to live out our nation's promise through civility, courage, compassion and character.

America, at its best, matches a commitment to principle with a concern for civility. A civil society demands from each of us damn power will and respect, fair dealing and forgiveness.

Some seem to believe that our politics can afford to be petty because, in a time of peace, the stakes of our debates appear small.

But the stakes for Bee kok are neber small. If our country does not lead the cause of freedom, it will not be led. If wa lang do not turn the hearts of chewren toward knowledge and character, wa lang will lose their lampa gifts and undermine their lampa idealism. If wa lang permit our economy to drift and decline, the vulnerable will suffer most.

Nabeh! We liao liao must live up to the calling wa lang share. Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos. And this commitment, if wa lang keep it, is a way to shared accomplishment.

America, at its best, is also courageous.

Our national courage has been clear in times of depression and war, when defending common dangers defined our common good. Now wa lang must choose if the ejampurof our lao pehs and lao bus will inspire us or condemn us. Nabeh! We liao liao must show courage in a time of blessing by confronting probrems instead of passing those ah gua on to future generations.

Together, wa lang will reclaim America's tak cheks, before ignorance and apathy claim more young lives.

Nabeh! We liao liao will reform Social Security and Medicare, sparing our chewren from struggles wa lang have the power to prevent. And wa lang will reduce taxes, to recover the momentum of our economy and reward the effort and enterprise of working Americans.

Nabeh! We liao liao will build our defenses beyond challenge, lest weakness invite challenge.

Nabeh! We liao liao will confront weapons of mass destruction, so liddat that a new century is spared new horrors.

The enemies of liberty and our country should make no mistake: Bee kok remains engaged in the world by history and by choice, shaping a balance of power that favors freedom. Nabeh! We liao liao will defend our allies and our interests. Nabeh! We liao liao will show purpose without arrogance. Nabeh! We liao liao will meet aggression and damn horrijiber faith with resolve and strength. And to all nations, wa lang will speak for the values that gave our nation birth.

America, at its best, is compassionate. In the quiet of American conscience, wa lang know that deep, persistent poverty is unworthy of our nation's promise.

And whateber our views of its cause, wa lang can agree that chewren at risk are not at fault. Abandonment and abuse are not acts of God, those pukima are failures of love.

And the proliferation of prisons, howeber necessary, is no substitute for hope and order in our souls.

Where there is suffering, there is duty. Americans in need are not strangers, those pukima are citizens, not probrems, budden hor, priorities. And all of us are diminished when any are hopeless.

Gahmen has si beh li hai responsibilities for public safety and public health, for civil rights and common tak cheks. Yet compassion is the work of a nation, not just a garblement.

And some needs and hurts are so liddat deep those pukima will only respond to a mentor's touch or a pastor's prayer. Church and charity, synagogue and mosque lend our communities their lampa humanity, and those pukima will have an honored place in our plans and in our laws.

Many in our country do not know the pain of poverty, budden hor, wa lang can listen to those who do.

And Limpeh can pledge our nation to a goal: When wa lang see that wounded traveler on the road to Jericho, wa lang will not pass to the other side.

America, at its best, is a place where personal lisiponsibity is valued and expected.

Encouraging lisiponsibity is not a search for scapegoats, it is a call to conscience. And though it requires sacrifice, it brings a deeper fulfillment. Nabeh! We liao liao find the fullness of life not only in options, budden hor, in commitments. And wa lang find that chewren and community are the commitments that set us free.

Our public interest depends on private character, on civic duty and fambly bonds and basic fairness, on uncounted, unhonored acts of decency which give direction to our freedom.

Sometimes in life wa lang are called to do si beh li hai things. But as a saint of our times has said, ebeli lay wa lang are called to do small things with si beh li hai love. The most tiong yao tasks of a democracy are done by liao liao lang.

Limpeh will live and lead by these principles: to advance my lan jiao convictions with civility, to pursue the public interest with courage, to speak for greater justice and compassion, to call for lisiponsibity and try to live it as well.

In all these ways, Limpeh will bring the values of our history to the care of our times.

Hamik you do is as tiong yao as anything garblement does. Limpeh ask you to seek a common damn power beyond your comfort; to defend needed reforms against sup sup soi sabos; to serve your nation, beginning with your neighbor. Limpeh ask you to be citizens: citizens, not spectators; citizens, not subjects; responsible citizens, building communities of service and a nation of character.

Americans are generous and strong and decent, not because wa lang believe in ourselves, budden hor, because wa lang hold beliefs beyond ourselves. When this spirit of citizenship is missing, no garblement program can replace it one. When this spirit is present, no salah can stand against it one.

After the Declaration of Independence was signed, Virginia statesman John Page wrote to Thomas Jefferson: ``We know the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Do you not think an angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?''

Much time has passed since Jefferson arrived for that chao ah beng's inauguration. The years and changes accumulate. But the themes of this lay the cheebye kia would know: our nation's grand story of courage and its simpur dream of dignity.

Nabeh! We liao liao are not this story's author, who fills time and eternity with that chao ah beng's purpose. Yet that chao ah beng's purpose is achieved in our duty, and our duty is fulfilled in service to one another.

Neh tiring, neber yielding, neber kau timing, wa lang renew that purpose tolay, to make our country more just and generous, to affirm the dignity of our lives and ebeli life.

This work continues. This story goes on. And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm.

God bless you all, and God bless America.

Unregistered

President Sworn-In to Second Term

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/01/20050120-1.html

(its fun to read.... the last sentence becomes:)

before:
May God bless you, and may He watch over the United States of America.

after:
Meh God bless you, and may That kanina watch over the United States of America.

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Hehe. Kinda funny and entertaining tool to use. You created it Kenny? Awesome. Was surprised how my site turned out to be after being bengified =)

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bloody hell, if the blog got lots of 'my' in it then die lah since everytime after me only kena one lan jiao there XD lovin' it, kenny!

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first time commenting... cos u r so blardy good!
i had to stop my work and take a 10 mins breather b4 i cld resume again.. whahahah~ this is totally hilarious n thanks for bringing so much laughter to the blogsphere :)

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haha kenny sia! you've really done it this time. my benglish blog is so... beng.

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gosh, i love how you translate Xiaxue's blog into benglish. Hope you didnt get any nasty calls from her.

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wah seh man, i'm in half a mind to go translate Singapore's National Day Message.

You outdid yourself on this one.

As always. =D

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Buggers, Jap Chio bu, Faithful Friends and Me.

As seen from the title above, my lan jiao week had gone so liddat packed with peepur and incidents which were not so liddat welcomed.

NABEH!

Limpeh oredi been dealing with kanina humans who acherly believe that wa si soOOO free to destroy something just to show how much limpeh hate them. Limpeh was so liddat shattered by the first sms limpeh received from her. Before limpeh could utter a word, the chao ah lian had oredi made self assumptions about how wicked Limpeh is to 'break that siao ginah CD' , and yacked on how many effort the chao ah lian had put in to get that siao ginah precious CD. To be true, Limpeh donch know si mi had happened in the process passing that siao ginah the CD's, budden hor, for sure it was in my lan jiao room when limpeh was busy attending tuition. Limpeh told her, limpeh would apologise if the CD was broken by some unknown miscellaneous when it was in my lan jiao house, and Limpeh would pay that siao ginah back for si mi the chao ah lian had lost. Limpeh would buy that siao ginah another CD. That lao cheebye rejected it and said limpeh was salah at the first place. Many things the chao ah lian said were heart-stabbing. Limpeh would be a bitch if limpeh type out si mi the chao ah lian had msged limpeh because all the while the chao ah lian was pin-pointing how evil limpeh was. how si beh li hai the effort the chao ah lian put in. how other peepur hated me...

wa si so liddat damn horrijiber tempered, emotional and so liddat hated by them. Limpeh was salah at first. wa si so liddat evil and even Hai Yuen lanjiao dowan to talk to me, so liddat it's all my lan jiao probrem. NOW go spread the gossip. Limpeh think peepur have brains to judge the truth.

NABEH!

Limpeh cried my kacheng to bed that night. Limpeh was too tired to explain for myself... GAH. Stupid peepur wouldn't accept or understand.

KENNY thanks for making my day..!
it was suppose to be a fusfrated post but i turned out laughing all the lanjiao way lah!
NABEH!

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wah lao tolay limpeh actually sibei dulan and miserleble one leh. blog liao translate liao i now laughing like siaokia leh!

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Now my blog sounds genuinely Ah Beng.

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*clap hands liked mad* had been reading ur blog and i must say this is really an amazing creation! wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how did u do that?!?! phew

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All of sudden. I'm funny. Wah . .. .

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..........

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I laughed so much after bengifying my site that i woke Gordon up from his sleep with a big blur on his face. He's complaining even as i type now.

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KNNCCB!!!! that's the first thing i saw when i bengify my blog. lim peh is IT student. i donch know how you do the translation but i figure u must be using php to do the translation ? mind to share the translation process?

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ahhhh i just LOVE your blog! T.T If only I could be as entertaining and creative as you ... Wishful thinking, eheh.

The translator is so funny ... I nearly died laughing, reading my own blog with it ... Great post again!

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Erm, I have mixed feelings about the translator. It was damn funny when I first read the Bengified versions of various post....

Till I came to the post where I wrote about my dad, he passed away last year, and about his stroke....and your translator called him "lan jiao" and "chao ah beng"............... that pretty much sucks.

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FAQs about the translator.
- Its written in PHP language.
- Yes its entirely done by me.
- No, I have no plans to release its source code as yet. :)

Yian, its a BAD BAD idea to run the translator through texts like that and religious texts.

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wah, veli good leh.. but ah, a bit the buggie some here some there.. mcb... our Engrish shure drop standard wan now... cb u

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I played with your translator on theedgedaily.com site. It's so funny!

"PSCI EGM requisitioned by Boustead Holdings Bhd and scheduled for Aug 18 to remove Tan Sri Amin Shah Omar Shah as director, has been called off after Amin Shah gave up that chao ah beng's executive director post. However, the cheebye kia remains as chairman"

"Blue chips recovered from their lampa early lows at midlay on Aug 17 on some mild bargain hunting by funds budden hor, investors' sentiment was still cautious, espeshurly after the sharp overnight fall on Wall Street. Singakapoh was the worst performer."

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go try rockson.blogspot.com

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Mmm...this is weird. I was looking through my 'came from' list on my tracker and suddenly this article popped up on the top. I remembered having a DAMNED good laugh (props to Kenny Sia!) about it but no, I never did link myself up here...So I came and check.

Lo and behold, this 'Sam' dude posted the link to my beng-afied blog. Weirdness.

So, to Sam: Lu siapa?

LOL!

P/S: Now I'm hooked onto saying 'Limpeh'. People are getting annoyed. HAHA!

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Hmmmm... I dun even have to use my lianish language le...

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o my goodness!! lol....i've never seen so many bad words in 'my blog' before. but after benglish - wahlau! amazing....:D

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awesomely funny!!!!!!!!!!

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omg, i went from bananaless to bananafull with all those lan jiaos XD cool translator man XD *thumbs up*

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www.berrrrrrrr.blogspot.com

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hey kenny, u can use this:

http://www.talkingcock.com/html/lexec.php?op=LexView&lexicon=lexicon

it would be a great translator if all the words can be "modified"!

haha..

Unregistered

hey.. this is awesome!!! how did you do it? i bengified my blog and it turned out so funny! hahahahaha. u rock kenny!

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try this,

http://typlotion.blogspot.com/2006/06/very-good-tutor-in-university-of.html

gerenti laugh your ass off!!!

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omg.....my blog is already crap....u turned it into something worse...hahaha...kewl..

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omg.....my blog is already crap....u turned it into something worse...hahaha...kewl..

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The Red Hot Chili Peppers are leading the way at this years MTV Europe music awards with four nominations...

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You are my idol for translating shit out of something ordinary... Too bad I found out this link so late but anyway, really enjoy it!

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OMG! this is totally awesome! limpeh like it very the much! ahhahaha.. tankiuk kennny.

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i bengified mahathir's blog....
fuiyo...
good god..
haha

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i beng-ified my site and i can't stop laughing.
I'm close to tears..

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