What The Fortune Teller Said

Through the guys behind the 2006 International Feng Shui Convention, I got into touch with renowned Feng Shui Master GK Ham from Penang.
Before then, the convention organisers told me that they had sent my photo to the Master, requesting him to perform facial analysis on my behalf. I am happy for them to do that, but I was curious which of my photo the organisers submitted because there were tons on my site.
To my horror, out of ALLLLL the pictures they could’ve picked, the bugger sent in this one instead.

MY GOD. Master Ham must be giggling like a schoolgirl when he saw that silly pic of me.
Regardless, he has this to say about my pretty face.

“Yin Tang (area between your eyes) area is clear, means at work you will always have noble people to help you. In problems you encounter there will always be someone around who has the will and resources to help you out. In your first part of your life 0 – 35, when you encounter problems all you need to have is patience as most of it will solve itself if you can wait.”

That is why I never tidy my messy bedroom lah. I’m hoping that it will clean up by itself if I wait what.
He went on to say.

“Prominent nose tip and nose flare, means ability to accumulate wealth before 50. Upper lips are thinner than lower lips. In career and personal life, sometimes people will find that you are too realistic in handling emotions and matters close to the heart.”

Man, he’s good. I never had anyone scrutinising my face and brought up all the details about me before.
The last time someone looked at my face this closely, I was ripped off for an overpriced facial at Bella Skin Care.
I was told to also provide Master Ham with my birthdate (they call it BaZi) so he could do something called a “Four Pillars of Destiny” analysis. I don’t even know what a “Four Pillars of Destiny” is! It sounds like some sorta bizarre Kung Fu move straight out of a WuShu comic book, together with such ancient fighting techniques as “The Hungry Hippo Eats McDonalds” or “Three Crazy Chickens Cross The Road”.

What “Four Pillars of Destiny” or BaZi actually is, is a thousand-year-old Chinese system of fortune telling based on the five elements of fire, wood, earth, metal and water. Behind it is a very technical system that only an experienced practitioner is able to decipher. To put it briefly, every person possess an element, and every period in time represents an element. If the element of person balances out the element of that period, then it is viewed as good luck.
Anyway, according to my birthdate, I am a wood.

I am wood, but doesn’t mean I’m made of wood hor.

According to the Master, wood people are like a tree – honest and straight-up, but stubborn when it comes to problems. It means I am compatible with fire and earth people, because those are the elements that balances me up.
I asked Master Ham a few questions about my long-term future. On my preference to marry late, he said “best year for you to get married is 2009, if you miss that the next possible one is 2014.”
Die. By 2014, I’ll be 32 years old liaw. What kinda girl would still want me when I’m 32! 🙁

I told him my concertn with health, and he advised, “go as easy as possible on the booze. Problems in your health is very much related to liver especially when you are 35 and onwards. If possible cut to a minimum.”
Die. How to part with my vodka! 🙁
Finally, I asked him about my career dilemma and this is what he has to say.

“Your useful element is Fire, therefore you will thrive and be happy in anything that has to do with media and technology. Blogging enables you to express yourself through technology which is a natural attraction and also a good choice. Things you should be wary of is print media. Publishing and conventional writing is not something you will like if you dive into it fully.”

“Going overseas, I would suggest Down Under as it is South (Fire). KL is also good as it is the central part of Peninsular, central is represented by the Earth element. Retail is not so suitable, as it is more of Water and Metal element. Plus you are not suitable to get into partnership if you decide to go into business. 2008 and 2009 will good year if you decide to change your environment.”

Matilah! Even the Feng Shui Master is asking me to go back to Australia!

Master GK Ham is one of the speakers at the upcoming International Feng Shui Convention, to be held in Singapore on the 4-5 November. He will be joined by 18 other well-known Feng Shui Masters from around the world in the largest English-speaking convention of its kind. This truly is set to be an enlightening experience of a lifetime.
What lies ahead in year 2007? How do you read a person’s face? How do you use BaZi to analyse your relationship between friends and family members?
As an exclusive special for kennysia.com readers, book now and receive an immediate 5% discount off the registration fees.

Blog Plug Of The Day: Andrew Ho’s The Daily Blog. This guy is so good, he even has a giveaway contest of his own that’s BETTER than the LG White Chocolate I’m giving away.

67 Replies to “What The Fortune Teller Said”


  2. i want him to read my face too!
    i saw a fortune teller for bazhi before. very sad. he tell me cannot do media, want me go government, medical science work.
    how liddat!
    i show him my “before” photo can?

  3. Hey Kenny boy..u look pretty CHUBBY la..n HUGGABLE too..ahaha..uhm, its a compliment actually btw..heh..dont trust that feng shui fella so much la..trust your conscience and instincts instead..

  4. Kenny, you are compatible with water and earth people. Water produces wood and earth being exhayusted by wood. However, you are definately NOT compatible with fire!! Because fire element exhausts wood (your element)! You will be taken advantages by fire people.
    Produces >
    Water > WOOD > fire > earth > metal > water

  5. so, when do you stop keeping us in suspense, and announce that you have something important to tell us? for examle “while many ties and obligations suggest a course of action familiar to all who value their familial responsibilities, you have decided to follow the lead of your ancestors – moving where opportunity promises gains, and the airplane ticket is dated **/**/**”

  6. Why do you believe in such crap?
    Nothing good ever comes out of fortune tellers. It’s basically just pure bullshit.
    See lah, don’t ask no problem. Now ask already more worries. So fortune tellers are a good thing? Think again dude.

  7. i was laughing so loud when i saw u in wood…muahahaha…so stupid…
    i would definitely like to have those fengshui master to tell me what path i should take in life..but then it all comes back to the same matter- i got no money…mei you qian…sob sob…
    i love kenny to bits!

  8. eh kenny, give away free tickets to this fengshui convention lar… i’m in singapore leh! 🙂
    32 is a good age to get married lar. not too old.

  9. Your photoshop “woody” picture very scary. But nemind, u have plenty of admirers here. 😀 I enjoy reading your posts, very entertaining… and sometimes even educational.

  10. Yo Kenny, maybe he read ur blog and knows how ur heart felt, so that’s why he’s saying something like that 😛 i never believed in fortune tellers, one story they told my uncle was he’ll be rich when he touch 30, he’s still now slogging out in his 40’s, and another was he told my friend that her sons won’t be filal to her, she really believed it, imagine the hell of chaos in the house, but till now, there’s been no such thing.
    i suggest you don’t believe things like these too much, just listen to your heart, oh ya i heard that fortune telling reduces your life by 5 years too, believe it or not? lol

  11. As i read the comments posted, there are around 20 comments. I have to say that the comments people posted are nonsense. I have been reading kennysia’s blog for a long time, and everytime a funny post is posted, comments such as ‘hahaha so funny’ or ‘ROFL’ or ‘you are soo cute’ always end up being posted. Why can’t people post constructive comments e.g. your point of view on the topic?
    I’m sure Kenny knows his post are funny, and popular, by the number of visitors to this site. Maybe Kenny loves them praises, it isn’t wrong to post them, just that it is a waste of space, and bandwidth to load the comments page.

  12. IMHO, Feng Shui has evolved into a business. Just look at LILLIAN TOO. Most feng shui tips are common sense rather than anything else.
    jeebs : unfortunately the average malaysian is rahter shallow minded.

  13. The guy moving to OZ is good….. but at the same time, “2008 and 2009 will good year if you decide to change your environment.”
    That means don’t go…yet.

  14. Kenny, don’t be so narrow-minded -lah believing in feng shui and fortune telling like some ah bengs who are narrow-minded of the haze post who insulted you. Use your logic and common sense to make your decision. I think your logic and common sense tells you to GO TO PERTH. 🙂

  15. Lilian too is not a feng shui master. She just ask you to buy this and that or do this or that to improve yourself only and nothing else.

  16. ok lah marry at 32..and besides u’ll be rich rich so can lure the girl into marrying u late hee..
    oh and my uni banned ur post on sex and the city state..it seems that that’s porn lol

  17. Is it true that “Kenny Sia also openly admit that he is having statuephilia, fart fetishism and nose fetishism” as mentioned in wikipedia’s kenny sia page?

  18. The feng shui dude probably quickly checked your blog before consulting you. HIHI… The feng shui dudes and dudettes tell you what you want to hear not what they predict!

  19. aiya, i think all tipu one lah! each time a “feng shui master” see me, they will say that i have a very “lucky” face, whether want to have my fortune told or not. i think all they want to do is to make a quick buck. someone wise did say “…i am the master of my fate, and the captain of my soul…”

  20. yo kenny, i’m a fire element. you’re wood.. we’re compatible man. yeah.. they said i must touch the computer more often.. to be MORE FIRE… then avoid water coz it will wipe me off… tat’s why i’m doing IT… instead of .. medic… lolz…

  21. your heart your conscience is your real ‘feng shui’ lar .. fs is actually quite common sense thing. wat da… say you have ability to gather wealth before 50 wahhahahahhaha too general man, everyone can tell you this BURST OUT LAUGH!

  22. if you are in the kindom of God – born again christan, the master fortune teller cannot tell your future. he is out of reach! two different world ! unless he cheat

  23. belive in yourself,dont trust feng sui.If feng sui said you are going to get rich one day ,and all day long you just sit that and wait do you think you can get rich ??????

  24. haha.. im happy today.. kenny… u cheer me even more.. haha.. the wood pic is real cute.. hmm.. don believe too much larr.. just take everything as ‘advice’ not ‘compulsory’ larr.. just do what u think is stil de best.. hiak hiak.. goodluck~~~

  25. i used to be super deep in love in this feng shui thing haha.. until almost ask a master from singapore to ‘look look’ at my house to change my bad bad bad super bad luck
    luckily..i didnt..coz i think im quite good now
    ‘i hope so’ ? so no need to change my feng shui hehe
    feng shui..doesnt mean that if u don work and feng shui will work for u..
    it will only work when u work
    sounds a bit deep =)

  26. I think kenny is taking the feng shui thing as a leisure only lar, u guys don’t nid to keep pursuading him to get away from it…. He is strongly advertising can’t u see….he wants u all to sign up 4 the convention. Sign up liao u guys, hahaha

  27. LOL.. it feels like whatever he said it’s already in your blog entries all these while. Even not a Feng Shui master will know what’s going on around u because u’ve expose it all out here 😛 Except those auspicious years lar Hahaha…

  28. Listen, I will only join that Feng Shui Convention if LILIAN TOO and JOEY YAP were the speakers. Comon lah, what do you mean by INTERNATIONAL when two of the famous Malaysian febg shui master aren’t there.

  29. wah lao eh… c la… fengshui master oso say down under…. LOLZ…. jus go back la… u will accumulate wealth even b4 50..
    thenn can get married by 2009

  30. Kenny, a number of your readers are really stupid and never learn to appreciate Chinese Feng Shui. Ironically, most of them are Chinese. They though they are clever enuf by saying “Feng Shui limit us psychologically” etc etc. I knew many people of this kind. None of them can be considered successful coz they always have out standing bills in their credit cards (they always work their shit out for the banks).
    I take feng Shui as a guide and it will never limit my creativity. Feng Shui really works for me. Atleast I never face financial problem like them.
    Again, soft iron, cast iron, high-quality iron are refered to type of iron that suit the ROOSTER person (To all the idiots out there, what I mean here ‘Rooster Astrology Sign’ and not mean that person is a rooster OK?!)
    For those who believe,
    Cast iron = alloy type metal.
    High-quality iron = expensive iron like gold and platinum.
    Soft iron = non magnetic metals.

  31. Kenny,
    I have the exact same birthdate as you – 27/11/82, but in he chinese cycle isnt that a WATER dog? Then how come he says your element is wood?

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