Pulau Tioman + Good company + 4 days of doing absolutely nothing = A very, very, very relaxed Kenny.

Tioman is every bit of an island holiday that I imagined it to be.
Powdery white sand.
Swaying coconut trees.
Turquoise blue waters.

For such a popular holiday destination, Pulau Tioman is ridiculously difficult to get to. From the Johor airport, it’s a 2 hour long taxi ride (RM160) directly to Mersing jetty, then it’s another 2 hour long ferry ride (RM35) before we arrived at our final destination – the backpacker’s paradise of Kampung Salang.

The reality of travelling with two girlie girls sunk in when during our taxi ride, Joyce somehow miraculously managed to convince us to take a detour to Toys ‘R Us, where I was miraculously coerced into buying this multi-coloured spinner toy.

It was the gayest thing in the history of gay that I have ever spent my money on. But Kenny Sia is a team playah so I bought it anyways.
No, there’s absolutely no chance in hell I’m gonna post a photo of myself playing with my gay multi-coloured spinner toy.

After years of not knowing what cartoon nickname to give me on her blog, Joyce finally nicknamed me “Doraemon”.
Not just because I am round in shape, but because I was carrying more luggage than Mary and Joyce combined.
Not my fault k? I had to bring along all my diving and trekking gear! All those two had to carry were tubs of beachwear and bikinis.

Bliss is lying on a hammock as the cool breeze gently rocks me to sleep.

At Kampung Salang, our phones were safely out of reception and eventhough there is internet connection, it was slower than dial-up.
It’s a good thing I suppose, because it forced me to take my mind off things for a while.

Mary is brilliant.
She managed to book ourselves a decent 4D3N package at Salang Sayang Resort at a dirt-cheap price of just RM140 per person in total. Not bad, considering it’s long weekend when we were there.
The resort isn’t anything fancy but it sure has a lot of character.
Placed neatly on the reception desk, is a box of limited edition Abdullah Ahmad Badawi branded tissue papers.

Seeing our Prime Minister’s face on a tissue box looked kinda funny actually.
Some may argue that his face should be better printed on tissue paper itself and not on the box. Others would suggest that the tissue box should be for toilet use instead.
But of course, that’s a different story for another time.

Beach babes sunbathing in their pretty bikinis are a common sight at our hotel beachfront.

Almost just as common (but justifiably less attractive), are monitor lizards as big as crocodiles.
Occasionally you can spot some animals doing weird things in Tioman.

Such as this cat giving himself a blowjob in full view of the public.
For Mary, Joyce and myself, our activities in Tioman can pretty much be summarised as follows.

In the morning, we dive/swim/snorkel/lie on the beach and do nothing.

When the sun goes down, we head out to Four-S Cafe, the one and only bar in Kampung Salang to drink, chit chat and be merry.

Although, if your name is JoyceTheFairy, you can continue drinking Tiger Beer for breakfast whilst the rest of us mere mortals just drink Teh Ais.

Our excursion to the nearby Coral Island was the favourite part of our trip eventhough everything that could go wrong seem to go wrong.
First, our speedboat ride from Tioman to Coral Island was so hard and bumpy that by the end of our 30-minute journey, my ass developed MUSCLES.

Secondly, after we arrived at beautiful Coral Island, we realised the boatman had forgotten, of all things, our snorkelling gear!

What a waste, considering how breathtakingly gorgeous Coral Island is.
Luckily, all is not lost because of the great company that we have.

Emilio, Denis and Costantinos are three travellers we met during our diving trip and hit off immediately.

As soon as the last of tour boats left, the six of us virtually had the whole beach to ourselves and we made the best of what we have by snapping hundreds of happy pictures by the beach.

JoyceTheFairy posing for Tourism Malaysia.

Lady Mary posing for Colgate Malaysia.

Emilio posing for Baywatch Malaysia.

Kenny Sia posing for People-Who-Like-To-Pretend-They-Are-Sharks, Malaysia.

Dunno what exactly, but there’s something inexplicably funny about this photo.

Happiest photo of Joyce playing with the spinner on the beach.

Diving in Tioman was quite a disappointment and not as pretty as many of us had expected.
There were so much dead corals surrounding the island that the place was almost like one big friggin graveyard for corals. I don’t know, maybe I was spoiled by the virginity of the underwater world in New Zealand, but I didn’t pay RM90 per dive just to see dead corals.

At least we still saw plenty of colourful tropical fish.

Funny-looking rock formations.

And giant clams that resembled some kinda gross vagina.

All in all, what a great holiday for the long weekend before heading back to the office.

Can’t wait for my next hedonistic island holiday.

Music of the Week: This song is what living in Malaysia means to me. Forget about politics. Forget about racism. ‘Here In My Home’, 52 of our homegrown artistes will tell you what it’s all about.
If you like it, please spread the song around. It’s free.

95 Replies to “Tioman”

  1. as far as i remember tioman is never a good place for holiday compared to redang. perhaps you should try there.

  2. thanks for the post on Tioman, some of us are keen to go to Tioman in the near future..hope things there aren’t as expensive as in Genting πŸ˜›

  3. Hi Kenny sia
    I started to addicted with your blog since two weeks ago. I find myself addicted to your writing. You wrote very well although in simple language.
    I also try to locate and find all the information about you. However, i am not able to find much information about you.
    But i believe that your writing is more attractive than your background information.
    Keep up the good work , you wrote a lot of good stuff

  4. “Dunno what exactly, but there’s something inexplicably funny about this photo.”
    ok its ur boob, ya i mean boob

  5. Why the water so damn blue wan ar.
    Didn’t look that way when i went there ages ago when the waters were practically green. Maybe because i pissed in the sea while i was in it which explains why i saw green instead of blue hmmm, blue + yellow = green.
    And that tissue paper box was hillarious lah. Pak Lah BOLEH! In fact Pak Lah’s face with two thumbs up should be on all sanitary related products like Jif, washing powder, and washing up liquid. Semua Pak Lah boleh buat! Or how about him on a condom pack? Pak Lah CAN! *insert Pak Lah’s face with two thumbs up*
    P.S Kenny, i think the cat is pleasuring herself.

  6. Haihh.. I miss Tioman. I miss the drive to Mersing. I miss the bumpy ride to the island.
    But Tioman is not as beautiful as it was. Maybe I should check out Perhentian. πŸ˜‰
    Cheers Kenny!

  7. Stumbled across your blog, which was linked to another blog, which was linked to one of my friends’ … yes, I need a life! In any case, am enjoying it tremendously. =)

  8. It seems like anything and everything you blog about can have sexual connotations attached to them.
    By the way, you have really huge nipples for a guy.

  9. i have been to redang once, and i was really impressed with the beauty there. but with you posting up the pictures from tioman, i just went o.O
    just breathtaking πŸ˜‰

  10. i disagreed with u on this. tioman is a good dive site, for the more experience divers at least.. πŸ™‚

  11. this is a good post..combination of some soft giggles and soothing mood with pictures.
    Can’t travel to the island, so travel in your blog is like enjoying what you did.
    =) Good day!

  12. Beaches look nice and clean. Sorry to hear about the dead coral there, though, makes me wonder why that has occurred. Some environmental change perhaps?
    “Dunno what exactly, but there’s something inexplicably funny about this photo.”
    Yes..a sea turtle just swam between your legs.
    “Funny-looking rock formations.” – thats an anchor from a sunken ship.. did you look for gold and silver coins treasure. haha

  13. Hiya, do continue writing as long as you can. Really enjoy reading your blog. Keeps me entertained whilst in boring UK. *chuckles*

  14. OMG i’m in australia rite now with those dreadful winter… I MISS Msia beach !! i miss MSIA FOOD !!! I miss my hometown !! i wanna soak under the SUN !! DAMNNN

  15. cat givin blowjob?
    clamps resemble vagina’s?
    gosh -__________-
    anyway niceeee
    i also noticed something
    u hav nice nipples!

  16. wah…so many comments bout ur tits.
    pls put on ur bra next time to avoid *spam*
    btw,i love fairy…she is so happenin.*drool*

  17. it’s sad to hear what’s happening to the beautiful corals. sigh. they’re dying day by day.
    u made me feeling like getting away to island lah..lol. Might be going to P.Kapas next week and P.Perhentian in July..hahaha..
    but hey, RM140 is DIRT DIRT CHEAP leh! going to Pulau Kapas also costs RM120 per day =.=

  18. Nice picts dude. Tioman Changed a little bit thou.. Seriously, i would like to go to trip with Kenny leh, he seems very experienced..

  19. Wow, nice vacation!
    And you are damn cute!! First time you did actually seen in the swimming attire!
    Never mind about the man boobs, we all like it that way, and you are so cute and irresistable!! πŸ˜€

  20. The holidays pix looks so-so. It is much nicer there. Yeah, plenty of interesting dive sites how deep you guys went in and where? From the pix more like discovery scuba maybe?
    Oh joyce is trying too hard looking fun with the spinner haha.. Just grow up!
    Mary really looks like she’s having fun and enjoy the hol πŸ™‚

  21. “Dunno what exactly, but there’s something inexplicably funny about this photo.” – Kenny.
    The photo looks like as if a fat, hungry and sex-driven shark is ready to pounce on the flesh of an innocent-looking half-naked female virgin fish.

  22. How come no one ever mentions that ALL the chalets in Salang are crap. Even houses in most kampungs look better. All the ang mohs seem to have no complains though.
    For example, when you showed the giant lizard.. you didn’t show the rest of the smelly ass polluted drainage river!!
    The beach itself is nice, but the chalet operators all never bother to maintain/upgrade their rooms. I’m a guy, not a diva, but even by my low guy standards, the toilet was yucky, the aircon was made in 1985 (the huge block type) and there were cockroaches. Even in KL, you can get a hotel room that’s much, MUCH cleaner in those cheapo hotels for RM100.

  23. Hey, where did she get that deal from?! RM140/pax for 4D3N? that’s dirt cheap…..can give me the contact?! heheheheh….

  24. Tioman is overrated. Better go Sipadan. Can go skinny dipping, if you like your ‘bits’ bitten off.

  25. lol wei next time leave this post up there a bit longer leh. the comments are damn funny. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!! lol that comment about ur big hairy nangchis really funny also

  26. yea, can’t seem to be able to see the pics here too. is it just me or are there others?
    dun seem to have thsi prob in other blogs tho

  27. looks really fun to holiday in tioman island…. tried to book my holidays for wesak day weekend …but it was fully booked.
    But looking at ur pics were more than anything…hahah, thanks a lot kenny.

  28. I actually saw you at Mersing. Was quite surprised to actually bump into you in person. Heh.
    The week before I was at Tioman as well to cover an eco-challenge event, and we stayed in Kampung Salang too.

  29. Kenny, you got big “boob”, almost C cup laio… you can try to wear bra laio… try 40′ C lah…. your got hairy “boob” … cover it up… so geli lah.

  30. hey, kenny.
    next time you wanna travel to tioman.
    head over to the cargo area of Johor airport.
    there are a few flying clubs over there that could fly you over to tioman in an hour. I’ve done it. Was certainly a blast.

  31. hmm i saw prettier corals in redang like the christmas tree, giant clams, weird fishes i think it’s called the trigger fish,clown fishes which is really common .. haven’t been to Tioman .. but if it’s all about looking at dead corals hmm POTONG STIM..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *