This Christmas, I’m Spending It Alone

It’s been a month since we’ve ended our relationship.

We broke up on the 27th November 2008. Of all time and places we could possibly had to end the relationship, we did it over my birthday dinner.
How ironic that in a blog entry I published earlier, I wrote that although we’re constantly breaking and patching up, that “we’re still going stronger than ever.”
Even more ironic was the day after, when her friend texted me to ask “if he can have her”.

Of course, it’s not like I didn’t see it coming. Our personalities were too different to begin with.
She’s a Scorpio. I’m a Sagittarius.
She’s 22. I’m 26.
She sleeps at 7am. I wake up at 7am.
She eats laksa, pastries and fried chicken wings. I eat sushi, salad and sandwiches.
She stays indoors. I stay curious about what the outside world has to offer.
She thinks I treat my friends too well. I think I treated her heaps better.
She prefers staying within her comfort zone. I am constantly thinking up new adventures and ideas on what to do.
She is a student with no fixed schedule. I find my free time so hard to come by that even which movie I watch, I’d choose carefully.

It was not that we didn’t try to make things work. I tried. We both tried.
For a long time, we were meeting up five times a week, spending time with each other. Me going home to my bed at 2 – 3am, waking up 4 hours later in time for work. I thought the longer we spend time together, the better we’d understand each other. We had our moments of happiness.

Looking back, I’m not sure if we understood each other better, but we certainly argued very often. We’ve virtually argued from the day we got together to they day we broke up. We argued so often that there was not even a single month where we had complete peace and quiet.
It would’ve been fine if we argued over new things each time. At least that would’ve still kept things interesting. But to argue and fight and explain the same topics over and over again each time is just way too frustrating for any human being to handle. It was like the sadistic version of Groundhog Day.
A relationship that needed so much work shouldn’t even be called “a relationship”. It’s a miracle how we even lasted so long. Two years to be precise. Considering how different we are, I am surprised it even went past the third month.
But as the old saying goes, easier to move a mountain than to change a person.

Ultimately, we are two different people, with drastically different lifestyles, different ideals, different philosophies, different aims in life.
The stress of being in the relationship overtook the happiness of being in one. The breakdown in communication and seemingly neverending fights and arguments prevailed.
Then came the realisation that after two years of dating each other, we still never really understood each other, still never seek compromise in our differences, and still feeling unjustified over the things one did for the other.

The day after the break up, I saw the losing of our quantum of solace. Not the James Bond movie. But the quantum of solace – tiniest amount of hope we could have for each other. Without which, there is no more hope, no more romance, nothing left.
When presented with an opportunity to salvage the relationship, I chose to let it slide. Better to disappoint now than to disappoint later, I figured.

For what it’s worth, I did actually love her. Still care for her.
But we were not happy for such a long time.
I guess I’m just not the type of person who is suitable to be in a relationship with anyone at this point in time. There are still so many things I want to do, so many goals I want to achieve, so many places I want to travel to before I settle down. Maintaining a relationship wouldn’t be at the top of my list, and it’s unfair to ask anyone to put up with that.
Perhaps when I’ve done all that I wanna do, without restrictions, only then will I re-examine my priorities.

It feels weird being single again.
Having been in the dating game for 8 years almost consecutively, I kinda forgot how to be single.
Instead of rushing out of the house to meet her at 9pm, I found myself scratching my head wondering what to do with my free time. Instead of appearing offline on MSN, I found myself chatting and catching up with old friends again, some of whom I haven’t spoken to for months. Finally I have time to do my own things and get the wheels rolling on the many ideas I have in mind, but never had time to put into action.
The flipside I guess, is that this Christmas, I’ll be spending it alone.
And then there’s still New Year’s Day, Chinese New Year’s and Valentine’s Day yet to come.

Ahhhh shucks.

Karma point collection:
* Yvonne Foong is battling against the loss of her eyesight. Can you help?
* An Indian orphanage in Jinjang has taken in 31 orphans and is only managed by one 24-year-old guy. Can you help?

409 Replies to “This Christmas, I’m Spending It Alone”

  1. No worries bro.
    You’ll get used to it. Is only a day. The next morning there are so many activities on your schedule, you will not even be bothered with it. πŸ™‚

  2. Hey, you are not alone, God is with u all the time. Have a blessed Christmas and Good year a head. ^-^ is not the end of the world.

  3. Wow Kenny, you actually revealed this in your blog?
    Feel better soon, it takes time to meet the perfect person. Sometimes, the person that stays with u forever might not be the one that u love most, but the one that suits u best.
    G Luck.

  4. Hey Kenny, perk up. Fate will tell. Who knows you both might be together again, maybe not now. It’s most difficult when one is studying and the other one working. Things will come into perspective when both are working. Sam’s a great girl and so are you. Hopefully there will be a day when you guys may patch up. Your friend was polite to ask for your permission. A relationship takes alot of sacrifice from both ends.
    Merry Xmas man! I’ll be home for Xmas too man! Myjojo’s going on a freakin race this Xmas. Can you believe it, on Xmas day! Harumph. πŸ™

  5. Dear Kenny,
    Its never easy to get over with a break up. But cheer up, the world keeps spinning. As long as you enjoyed, cherished and loved her during your time with her, its good enough already.
    You are a great person. Love will find you one day

  6. Hey Kenny,
    Being “single” is not a level below being “in a relationship”. You should remember as mentioned already, God is with us all. He determines our path of life, not destiny, fate, luck or sheer will-power because no matter how hard we try, we will always be disappointed. It is only because it is what we want and not what God wants.
    Jesus is the reason for the season. Have a good Christ-Mass and Happy Holidays.

  7. Kenny, the pain will fade with time. Learn to forgive and move on. Like Zagary said: Love will find you one day. Your blog readers here are with you.
    Have a Merry Christmas!

  8. Your blog post touched me in many ways. it helped me see that im not the only one who has the exact problems u r facing, kenny.
    It is a blog entry that made me feel as if i was writing it. I sleep at 5am while my partner wakes at 5am, i study while he works, im an indoor person while he enjoys the crowd. So much like what u wrote here. I cant agree more with ‘A relationship that needed so much work shouldn’t even be called “a relationship”.’
    However, despite arguing with my partner for so many days in a week, we lasted for more than 2 years. It’s a struggle everyday, it’s an unpredictable day tomorrow, it’s an uncertain but hopeful future. Yes, there are many happy moments worth cherishing. But the tension of argument may outweigh the benefits of being in a relationship. Only time can tell.
    Im very proud of u because u are brave enough to make the difficult decision. I am still on the fence right now and your blog entry inspires me in many ways. Thanks, kenny.

  9. relationships are rather like creating art. you find yourself putting such energy and effort into it, and absolutely adoring the work you just did. then you’ll return a little later and dislike it, hoping for better, return a little later and love it again. Yet despite it all, you can still appreciate it. and go on to create even more.

  10. Hope you get better. Time for self-examination. And….stay away from all the chocolates and fatty calories. Merry Christmas mate.

  11. hey,
    i’m in a relationship like urs too, we’re too different 4 each other yet we’ve been staying together for nearly 5 yrs
    thru all dat i actually learned to accept him as he is, of course along wif all his weird ways dat i find hard 2 accept.
    and 4 sure i’ve been thinking of breaking up for soooo many times i can’t count but never didn’t him. i always believe as long as v luv each other there muz b a way.
    yet love is so undefinable.

  12. Kenny, the fact that you are writting this here shows how badly wounded you are. Stay strong, get over it.. keep yourself occupied, continue running in the early/morning.. I am sure you can do it.

  13. For a moment, I thought you were just pulling another prank on us readers. Ive been following your blog ever since my uni days and never knew you were in a relationship at all.
    It takes a lot of courage to thread the single path again, after so long of being attached. I had my share of this bitter experience last year, but it eventually worked out well. I got to do so many things which I may never have done if I were still attached. And in the process, I grew up.
    I have recently found love again – and he’s from Kuching as well hehe – but the single experience has taught me to be a better partner.
    Good luck in the year to come. Cheer up and hope you’ll have a splendid Christmas with your friends and family.

  14. well, each relationship brings its own unique experience, and none would not have the same quality as we think it is. Time shall heal, and hopefully, the pain will just go.
    As they had it said, it is to forgo, but not forget, for it shape us into a better man when the time comes.
    Stay strong.

  15. I only knew how to be single. Haha, I have never had a guy near me before. Never accepted a date before.
    Well, being single has it’s perks, I guess. So cheer up and it’s still not too late to learn how to live in Singleton.

  16. *Pats back* Don’t fret over it too much. You’ve tried your best and you’ve done more than enough. Don’t put too much blame on yourself. It’s going to hurt and you’ll need time to adjust, be it slow or fast. But eventually it will.
    Take some time off and take it as more time to appreciate others as well. A new year’s looming. Happy new year! ^_^

  17. If it makes you feel better, i think you’re a real gentleman for giving her a chance and sticking with her for two years even though you knew it wouldn’t work. Most guys would have abandoned the relationship after a month or so. I’m sure you will find your true soul mate sooner than you think πŸ™‚
    the point is, you gave her a chance. And that’s all that matters. cheers.

  18. Hey
    Reading this entry reminds me a lot of my past relationship.
    I went thru exactly what you did. As in virtually fought since day 1 till the last, etc etc..
    I was so surprised myself that mine lasted till about a year and a half too,
    I guess the only thing that can explain this is compatibility. No one is to be blamed in a relationship. There’s definitely no right or wrong.
    So kenny, dun b too sad over it. Especially when you say u’ll be spending all those alone.
    Because somehow,in the future, we’re bound to findsomeone that are better for us. Same goes for her. i hope you two will find that someone in time to come.
    Just be patient.
    God bless u two!
    n hey,merry xmas πŸ™‚

  19. Dear Kenny,
    Hope you’re feeling better now… Me too just broke up with my 3 year bf. Just like you, we’re two different person but still manage to go through with alot of happy memories… Although we broke peacefully, i still miss those sweet memories. Is like i really get used to him that now he’s not around, i feel really weird.
    However, do cheer up. There’s more for you out there.

  20. I didnt know you were in a relationship all this while.
    When everything is so complicating , thats when you’ll realize that you are in love with someone.
    I’m sure your ex-girl will definitely appreciate u for what uve done for her. =)

  21. get over it you big pussy…so up ok..ur young,go out and find new gf loh..she’s probably already bonking someone new..grow a pair ok.Merry X’mas n Happy New Year..u still have your family.

  22. cheer up, if it will make you feel better, I have been single and not in any relationships for the past 21 years…so I am so used to spending every festival on my own…:(

  23. Hi, Kenny Sia, IÒ€ℒve always enjoy reading your blog but never leave any comment. But this time, when I saw the heading Γ’β‚¬ΛœThis Christmas I am spending it aloneÒ€ℒ and I read on.. I saw so many similarities with me.. Coz, I am a Sagittarius too, but a female, and I am same age as you too.. and my long distance relationship of 7 years had just ended around the same time as yours, either end of October or early November.. so this is awful since I spent my birthday this December without a birthday wish or call from him.. I am spending my Christmas alone since I had planned earlier on that I will fly over to see him.. and more to come.. New Year, Chinese New Year and ValentineÒ€ℒs day all to be spent alone. And just like you I saw it coming too, due to personality difference, and our future needs are different, but I just could not let go of him coz I still love him.. until he shows me he is moving on without meÒ€¦ And yeah, we argued and fought and explained on the same topics over and over again until it became too frustating and tires me out.. and yet I never give up even though I see a bleak future in our relationshipÒ€¦ coz I thought true love is like heaven and hell, thereÒ€ℒs a lot to be sacrificed.. but when you say Γ’β‚¬Λœa relationship should make you stronger, happier and betterÒ€ℒ, it really makes me think twice. (Am I too loyal?) Well, just like you, there are so many things I want to do, so many goals I want to achieve and so many places I want to travel to before I settle down ( I am not copying your words but my organizer can prove you this Ò€¦ maybe bcoz we are of the same horoscope).. so that is why my bf could not put up with me and thinks I do not put him as the top priority in my listÒ€¦ when I feel itÒ€ℒs so unfair of him to think of me that way bcoz I spent so much money calling him and flying over to see him Ò€¦ Anyway, being single again, I am spending more time with my family and I really cherish these moments.. but I canÒ€ℒt deny that those happy moments of my relationship are still playing on fresh in my mind every waking moment of the dayÒ€¦ So I dedicate this song to you, which I use it to mend my broken heart, because every word in the lyrics is what I want to tell my bf, but now itÒ€ℒs too lateÒ€¦ enjoy the song and good luck in your love:
    And Merry Christmas..

  24. and i was wondering whats up with crying marathon and all the drinking …
    eventually at the end, there will be one that you love truly, one that you can never forget, one that keeps on bugging you and one that you promise to stay with forever ….

  25. Maybe it’s not the right time to say type it out now…
    But there are girls who are happy just to have a photo taken with you!
    Nice to see you at the Party.

  26. hey kenny, i didn’t know that u were coupled actually πŸ˜› So i was kinda shocked to read this post. Get well soon. You definitely need the time.

  27. personally i enjoy my single life..
    hope u’ll get used to it..
    don get another 1 yet juz bcoz u r feeling stg empty within u.. CHEER UP!!

  28. Yo Kenny…
    Well, you’ll find your true love just in time. Don’t worry. Maybe cause of your status, it makes you more special case than other people. Argh, just ignore it ah.
    Er, alone now? Why dint go out with your friends? Or took your holiday time to spent with your family members. You’ll never know when the last time you will saw them…

  29. Hi Kenny,
    I am spending this Christmas alone too. I feel sad and I am not sure what to do. Loneliness fills me up.
    I love a girl but she already has a bf. Few days ago, she was very moody because she had a quarrel with her bf. I tried my best to make her happier. I thought of a lot of plans for tonight so that I could bring her out to have a happy Christmas Eve. I sms her in the evening to ask her out tonight, but she doesn’t replied me at all. So, I presume that she is now going out with her bf and their relationship are now back to normal.
    So, I am all alone tonight.
    I feel stupid.
    Anyway, Kenny, have a Happy Christmas.

  30. Im with u on this. Im not saying yours is easier than mine (but mine lasted 3 yrs) so i feel your pain.
    And here i am chatting on MSN and checking out ur blog on xmas eve.
    Merry xmas.

  31. must be difficult for you. Here are some virtual hugs from me to you.=)
    Merry Christmas! It will be fun if you want it to be fun. Cheer up =)

  32. It’s always hard to face but everyone has to. Stay strong and enjoy the life of being single. God’s with us everytime.
    Merry Christmas

  33. Well, Kenny, I can only tell you that there are other fishes out there that are celebrating because they finally have a chance with you, now that you are a single again. Don’t worry about being single, you just have more time for yourself and your family as well as more excuses to flirt with all girls.
    Things will only get better! Merry Christmas!

  34. kenny, although we’ve never spoken to each other before, i’m one of your readers who were inspired to start my own blog after reading yours. Anyway…i guess shit happens and this is one of it. hope everything’ll be better la bro!
    merry xmas

  35. being single after having been in a relationship that has lasted a while is really hard. specially if urs was the type where u saw each other often, and did lots of stuff together.
    i got dumped 1st jan 2008. after almost 3 years of being with him. cny, valentine’s, our anniversary, his birthday, my birthday…were all difficult and lonely days for me this year, even when i wasn’t physically alone.
    like u mentioned, now that u r single again, u get to rediscover all the stuff u didn’t do when u were in a relationship. takes some getting used to, but it gets better over time. πŸ™‚
    if u’re free for a ‘not-a-date’ date with me the next time u’re in kl, drop me a line. πŸ™‚

  36. No matter whether you were the one initiating or the one receiving the news of a breakup, it always hurts both parties. I understand what you’re feeling. The worst part is when you watch the person move on fine without you. I felt so insignificant. Everyone has their breakup stories, but look forward to the future. There’ll be a more compatible one out there.
    *millions of hugs*

  37. Being single is not the worst thing that could happen in one’s life. There are so many things that one can do in singleton! Enjoy the freedom while you can.
    Think of the bright side. At least you have loved someone and have her to love you in return. That’s a surety. It’s way better than loving someone who can never love you back.
    Merry Christmas, Kenny! And a Happy New Year too!

  38. Everything you said in there resonated with the relationship I’m in now, down to the combination of personalities and the types of arguments. Except we’ve been together for slightly more than 2 years (still together) and actually live in the same house.
    So if what I suspect from what I’ve read is true, take comfort in knowing that there are guys in worse relationships and congratulations on finally releasing yourself.

  39. i’ve always been a silent reader, but this post struck too much of a chord with me that it was almost impossible not to leave a comment of sorts. my ex-boyfriend and i were almost exactly as you had described your relationship, except for the fact that he was in her role and i was in yours, and that i liked jap cuisine while he liked kfc and staying home to watch soccer, haha.
    it’s been three years since we broke up, and i’ve been single ever since. but you know what? i’m just so much happier this way. oh of course there are times when everyone around me is happily attached and i feel envious and all, but really i think it’s better to be by myself than be with someone who doesn’t understand and restricts me.
    i recently found out that he’s just gotten attached again. from my snooping around (since we’re no longer in contact with each other) she looks like the kind of girl who’d be perfect for him – one who likes staying home and just generally being unadventurous. and i can honestly say i’m happy for him.
    so all the best to you. i hope you’ll find your sense of equilibrium and peace within soon. and a merry christmas to you too!
    ps: it’s really not that bad being single. just takes a little getting used to πŸ™‚

  40. looks like our probs r almost similar…
    just that we are in a different age group…
    the single feeling is coming back 2 me again…
    cheer up man…
    though its a lonely one…
    but still…
    Merry Christmas!!

  41. Hi Kenny, dont be sad and what you need is only time..It is not true to say that you will be spending this Christmas least you still have your FAMILY celebrating the same with you..cheer up and Merry Xmas!

  42. Hey Kenny,
    I am same age as you, but have never been in a relationship yet. Not that I am gay, I do have guys chasing after me, but I reckon it’s good to be single for the time being. In fact, at this point of my life, I am building up my career and there are many things I wanna do before I actually commit in a relationship. Hence, I think it’s unfair if I get involve with someone but never have enough time for him.
    I’d just lost my father 4 months ago, and still trying to get over it. His passing got me thinking about a lot of things, in both positive and negative ways. I do hope for someone to care and comfort me during this hard time, but don’t forget, we have friends as well. So, get some time off from relationship and you’ll rediscover the beauty of outside world. And as you said, get connected with long lost friends.

  43. It’ll prolly take a while for that wound to heal.but who said u have to spend xmas alone?people come and go…..sometimes unexpectedly.So treasure your love ones while you still can.ur mum, ur bro, ur sis, and especially ur beloved nieces and nephews. πŸ™‚

  44. the latest post of spending time xmas alone is by far my favourite post of yours. probably because it shows the sentimental/softer side of you. oh and merry xmas! surely, you won’t literally be alone! have a good one πŸ™‚

  45. Being single do have its advantages too. You can flirt around (not really recommended.. leave some girls for us xD), do whatever you want without any restrictions, go anywhere you like. What is the most important thing is to be positive. You’re the man! You can finish 42km of freaking marathon I believe you can overcome this. =)

  46. That’s some powerful stuff right there! I hear what you’re saying… i’m in a relationship 7 years now and it is almost like a full time job the amount of time and effort it requires.
    I don’t think you can ever truely love somebody so much that they’re immune from criticism or wrong doing but at the same time if you’re verbally stabbing each other every night it doesn’t bode well for the future.
    I feel your pain man but it’s one of these situations where you have two options – sink or swim. Don’t let yourself get too cut up over it, you’re still young πŸ™‚

  47. Kenny, it’s rare that you blogged about your *really* personal stuff, but I’m glad your blog is an outlet for you; and tt we can share in your pain and sadness.
    Be strong – in the long run, both of you will be happier. I’m sure you knew that when you both decided to end the r/s. It’s just moving on from here (:

  48. “The stress of being in the relationship overtook the happiness of being in one. The breakdown in communication and seemingly neverending fights and arguments prevailed. ”
    oh dear, this is so similar to my case. I gave up in the end. We had fights at least once a month and even worst than your case, he could ignored me for 2 weeks without any reasons.
    i just hope to meet the right one to share my life with xx

  49. Well, you must be kinda sad these days. Yeah, being single is just doing all sort of normal things just like you said “i found myself scratching my head wondering what to do with my free time. Instead of appearing offline on MSN, I found myself chatting and catching up with old friends again”. Sad, i din’t hv a gal too, damn frustrating when i comes to CNY, valentines day/birthday ..i’ve been alone all the way too kenny! haihz~
    btw stay strong and let time heals the wound. πŸ™‚

  50. Hey Kenny, this is the first time I’m writing on your comments page.
    I’d just like to say this relationship must have meant a lot for you to make a post and share it on your blog for the whole world to see. I hope that you are alright.. As always, time heals everything. It may do nothing to dull the memories and hurt, but thats what they’re for right? The experience is a learning journey that taught you lessons in life that will help you through your future. The bitter feelings that come with the end of a relationship is normal, you’ve just gotta be yourself, keep doing what you do. One day you’ll be surprised that you even managed to get through it all.. and that you’re ready for a new start. For the moment, just believe in yourself and trust that there are many people who still love and care for you. God bless.

  51. hey kenny, went thru similar situation..u r right, struggling too much for a relationship is not worth it & shouldn’t be a priority for u, and her, since she’s still too young & should prioritize other things than this messy relationship. your maturity doesnt match her and vice versa. looking back i’m glad i’ve moved on from such relationship, i’ve been happier & achieved so much. if you feel lonely, visit Salvation Army kids, and trust me you will never complain after that. πŸ˜‰ they need you there i’m sure. why not utilize your influence on something closer to home? πŸ˜‰ make a different this time, even on one soul.

  52. i’ve experienced it too, just recently.
    it was a different mentality between us, and i guess it’s better that we give each other some space.
    i’m feeling okay, i hope you too, Kenny! =)

  53. I guess everyone has been leaving down their story parts of the impact from your entry this time. I had a wonderful 5 months relationship with A saggi, I’m a gemini,26 years, 8 years different, our r/s was fiery and passionate. Understanding and everything just blend in well.But he is like you, business is always the first in line, but I’m not sure if you agree, Saggis that I know, has many gfs, & cannot live without gfs. I guess, you will go pass thru this stage soon, coz the Saggis I know are charming…He had a Scorpio gf before too, somehow, scorpio has certain deadly charming sexiness in them. But it’s deadly. Saggi can’t take them.. funny.The problem between Him & me, is just that we started fast, ended fast, adventurous, loves to explore,our attention span is very short, we moves frm one thing to another, But it’s just hard for us to show effort of love for each other. I guess, being single, sometimes is not that bad… coz, we have stop contacting each other,and it really doesn’t give me much impact, infact, i ve learn much from him. I still miss him..Good luck Kenny in your love life, Merry Merry Christmas

    LIFE GOES ON. πŸ˜‰

  55. Dear Kenny,
    The painful, yet “good”, thing about relationships is that when the break up does occur, the pain is often felt because you’ve given a part of yourself to this relationship and you have worked on it. the fact that you both have tried, and it doesn’t work, doesn’t mean that you are terrible or that she is.
    personality clashes often, but there’s always going to be one person out there that, not “tolerate”, but can be “with” you every step of the way.
    Perhaps I am too optimistic, but I think there’s always someone for a person. Don’t think you are meant to be single right now, because when would you ever be “ready”?
    if you like an active life, and you are constantly busy, I think there’s someone who is equally active and busy yet wants and can be with you.
    good luck, and be happy πŸ™‚ merry christmas!

  56. To Loser (Kenny Sia),
    One thing that i can tell you that you are a one lousy loser. Do you think that everyone in the world are the same and have the same personalities? Please look around you and look at others relationships. That why God creates humans. DUMB HEAD – please use your brain more to think beside blogging . I think marathon and all the drinking might spoil your head and brain.
    Please don’t use the Astrological signs as an excuse that you are a Sagittarius and she’s a Scorpio. These does not means anything for me in the relationship. And age does not mean anything to in the relationship too. I do see relationship which had a huge gap in the age and it works up pretty well for them. If you really love her in your heart, you does not care these and those S ** T and rubbish. She sleep at 7am and you wake up at 7am .. that does not means anything either .. that life, MAN – i think you might to grow up a little bit and use your brain more. She is a student and she needs to study and do assignments and that why she needs to stay up until 7am. I bet you if she is not a student, who the hell want to stay up until 7am in the morning. You needs work and that why you wake up at 7am and what can you do about it. Don’t go to work and stay up with her until 7am and go to bed together. Is that what you want? THAT LIFE AGAIN !It is how you see the whole picture of it and how to go with it.
    Since you and her argue over same thing over and over again. What wrong with you? Can you step back and take a look at the thing that you guys argue over and over again and look for a solution for it. Or be a gentleman. Either you step back one step or 2 steps or be patient with her. Or you guys should cool down yours head and sit down and have a chat with each others. 2 people in a Relationship are looking after each others and try to change their life style to suit each others. My partner like outdoor activities and i prefer to stay indoor. But in the end, we change our lifestyle to suit each other as i change my life style as going outdoor activities more that before and she will accompany me to watch soccer at home during the weekends.
    I think you might needs to stack up one or more pillows and think with your small brain before you sleep at night. It might helps you to think clearly. You might needs to check your own behavior and attitude and your own life style before starting a new relationship, loser. If you still does not want to change, i bet your next relationship will fail again.
    See ya, Bastard.

  57. Hey, the guy upstairs:
    You are so damn right that effective communication is so important.
    Attend to every single issue on the spot is equally important.
    Lots of people fail to see that.
    And last, understanding and letting your girlfriend / boyfriend be themselves is the secret of a long lasting relationship.
    If cannot tolerate, or being possessive, then too bad la…
    I learnt this from my PIL, who has been lovingly living together for more than 50 years, never a single quarrel~!!
    Good fate will come to you when you have a kind and charitable heart.
    Merry Christmas!

  58. “It feels weird being single again.
    Having been in the dating game for 8 years almost consecutively, I kinda forgot how to be single.”
    i’ve been in ur shoes before.
    8 years is not 8 days nor 8 months.
    but, dont worry..rainbows ahead.

  59. wow…see kenny…so many people care for u…one post nya shows everything…u sure are influencing buddy…stay strong la…be a man~~
    I tot you got ur “big thing”..y suddenly shrinks?

  60. Hello there. I wasn’t going to comment until I read the hurtful words some of those insensitive people vomited from their screwed up brains.
    Unlike what Nancy said, I think it was right of you to keep the relationship a secret. I don’t think any girl would like details of her relationship splashed all over Malaysia’s most famous blog, unless she were an attention whore.
    I’m sorry for your loss. But to look on the bright side, you wouldn’t have been happy maintaining the relationship, because you’d have been suppressing who you really are and losing your identity in the process by trying to adapt to her lifestyle.
    Enjoy singlehood, and take care! Merry christmas.

  61. glad u posted this up. i bet it needs a lot of courage to do so. anyway do remember that your readers are with you always. by seeing how they share their relationship similarities with you to make you feel less sad is quite touching, dont you think so?
    Anyway it’s all over now. Hope you’ll find a better one soon. Merry xmas!

  62. Hey Bro, I’ll be spending xmas n my bday this yr pretty much alone as well.
    I’ve been thru ur stage, I am probably reaching that stage in my current relatinoship.
    Life’s unpredictable. A better one will come along. Cheer Up.
    Merry X’mas and a Happy New Year


  64. breaking up is no problem. just make sure your sails are in the right place and time πŸ™‚ but then again breakups, mostly, happen when the sails are not. so be mindful to steer clear from trouble waters πŸ™‚

  65. Hi,
    The truth is, it’s not bad to be single again. I broke up with my bf somewhere during mid july, during a vacation. The feeling of coming back alone shucks. And spending x’mas alone shucks too.. But you have a lot of friends around you. Go out with them, then you will find out that being single is actually not that bad. Trust me, once you get urself out of the house to join in the crowd, it’s not that bad anymore.

  66. Merry christmas Kenny. I actually envy you to have a 2 years relationship, I never had anything that went past the 1.5 year mark.

  67. same kenny. juz broke up a month ago or so, only thing was mine was a 4 yr one. a relationship that needed so much work shouldn’t have been called one, true true true. i find resonance in ur post. cheer up n merry xmas!

  68. oh well. you’re still so young and there’s lots of things out there for you to try. i’m sure you’ll find another girl who shares the same ideals and goals in life as you.

  69. Aihhh.. I had the same thing as yours, Christmas and New Year trip had canceled since the broke up. I’m celebrating everything alone in US…..Cheer up! Everything is gonna be fine…

  70. Hey Kenny,
    I think most if not all of us have our fair share of up and downs when it comes to r/s … we all have our own demons to fight. So pick your battles wisely and remember … there’s always someone for everyone.
    ‘After the storm, look out for the rainbow’

  71. You are the No1 Blogger in Malaysia. This tiny little thing in life is not a road block or whatsoever.
    Get a prettier, cuter, sweeter, curvier, sexier, gorgeous”er”, loveable, love-you-more, good-at-sex, good-at-kitchen, good-at-traveling, good-at-sport, happier, cheer’ier’, exellent’ier and etc etc… anytime man πŸ˜‰
    All and all, Merry Christmas.

  72. wow kenny…I never and never thought will see this side of you…This entry, definitely showed the other sentimental side of you.
    In the past, it was always the funny side of you (except the entry about your dad of course).
    All I can say is, stay strong. *hugs*

  73. Cheers up Kenny…It’s part and parcle of life.
    This year i spend my christmas eve with my family, instead of partying and countdown at Zouk. I slept at 1130pm after family dinner. I feel warm, peaceful and happy.
    Cherish and treasure whatever you have now.:)
    Merry Christmas!!

  74. i can relate kenny! i guess we’re both going to be solemnly single on these joyous celebration days. We’ll pull through right? x)
    merry christmas kenny!

  75. no worries is like a roller coaster….just continue the ride…good things are coming ahead for you!
    cheers mate!

  76. I too have broke up with my bf 2 days before Xmas. It was an ugly breakup but somehow i felt more liberating rather than sad cos we argue too much. anyway, kenny, be strong…and remember that when one door closes it opens another.

  77. Cheer up and Merry Xmas!
    I have been spending xmas alone since 7 years ago.
    It is nth wrong, jst matter u have to get used with it :p

  78. Hi Kenny, I’ve been a silent reader for years already. But somehow I don’t think it is right for you to post such a post, which seems that you have put the blame on the girl and don’t you think you will hurt her more by writing this post? Seems unfair to the girl…
    Anyway, Merry Christmas!

  79. Kenny, i’m so sorry to hear that, and pls do ignore what some arseholes are saying that you’re a loser yadayada.
    It must be hard having the break up, but time will heal so I know you’ll be alrite =)
    Merry Christmas, I’m spending Christmas alone too hehe

  80. hey stay smiley,
    don 4get, all your readers luv u..
    you’ll get over it soon,
    logic is magic n so is time^^
    once you get over it, you’ll notice that it isnt just as bad actually.
    It might reallyy hurt at the beginng, but…
    Cheer up, its xmas right? smile^^

  81. Kenny,
    Everyone got attitude n behavior. The experiences will teach each of us to go through life. Rekindle or replenish old memory wouldn’t change a thing. remember this is not the end of the world for you. the world are still too much to offer and waiting you to explore. you will find someone better. People come and go, learning to let go also shows how you love who ever with you in the past. Wish them the best. Forgive them, forgive your self!!

  82. no worries
    just another love story in your life
    she meant alot n i think the best thing for now is keep moving on and having the best for yourself.
    probably,u’ll meet someone that who suitable to move on the rest of your life with you.
    all of this is about physics and abit of chemical ofcourse.
    things will work out when you know the right one coming.

  83. Cheer up young man! They say opposite attracts but doesnt’ mean it will work out. I am still hurt by an incident that took place some 4 years ago but still cannot get over it yet. Still, do you think about Nicole?

  84. Been there kenny, stay strong and hang out with ur peeps as often as possible, pour everything out of ur heart ,enjoy the hols and go for bashes !!!,hope u ll get ovet it and move on as soon as possible. I ve been ur reader for almost 4 yrs. This is my first post lol anyways merry xmas everyone !!!

  85. Merry christmas and Be Happy, Kenny.
    Mayb it sounds sacarstic to u, but isn’t it better to ended it earlier if d ‘relationship’ appear doesn’t mean to be for d people who ‘used’ to b in ‘LOVE’?
    When it doesn’t mean to be, it doesn’t mean to be. No matter how hard people trying to adjust themself to fit in with d puzzle, it just won’t work out at d end.
    It took me 31 yrs to finally relief frm d poverty for being unwanted & unloved. I am now no longer nobody to anybody, bcoz I know at least I mean somebody to her who CARES.
    Santa brings her to me somewhere b4 Christmas. And tat’s d greatest present I’ve received tis year. A person who RESPECT u, who TREASURE u, who CARE how u think & feel.
    It nvr comes easily, but d waiting oways WORTH IT, Kenny.

  86. Cheer up! life goes on and play hard, try new challenges and explore more when you’re single so that you can settle down when u meet the perfect one.

  87. Chhillout mate! Shit happens, you can still win her back! well if you want to! There’s always other fish in the sea anyways, if you want it taht way too! cheer up mate!

    Posted by: RJ at 24 December 2008 8:38 PM | Link to comment

    why’s everyone telling him to “get over it”? like it’s so easy =.=
    *pats* cheer up! =P merry christmas.

  89. Of course, it’s not like I didn’t see it coming. Our personalities were too different to begin with.
    She’s a Scorpio. I’m a Sagittarius.
    She’s 22. I’m 26.
    She sleeps at 7am. I wake up at 7am.
    She eats laksa, pastries and fried chicken wings. I eat sushi, salad and sandwiches.
    She stays indoors. I stay curious about what the outside world has to offer.
    She thinks I treat my friends too well. I think I treated her heaps better.
    She prefers staying within her comfort zone. I am constantly thinking up new adventures and ideas on what to do.
    She is a student with no fixed schedule. I find my free time so hard to come by that even which movie I watch, I’d choose carefully. – Kenny.
    You are such an adventurous person, aren’t you? Knowing fully well of the risk but still take it.
    Anyway, just a thought, but some people’s relationship might work out fine knowing fully well that their personalities were too different to begin with.

  90. I am actually facing the situation like you too Kenny. BY reading at your post, it hit my weak point. I have been into the relationship for 6 years and now i am just like you, almoST forget how it feels like being single. Well, everything happen for a reason. Time will prove things right. Sorrow will pass very fast. Trust me

  91. Wow! For the first time, I saw this side of Kenny Sia. Go out, meet a lot of new people, catch up with friends, enjoy your food and you’ll be bcak on your feet sooner than you think. Of course there will be once-in-a-while-owh-feel-crappy-and-sappy-moment, but you’ll get over it soon. Trust me will ya?

  92. to forget someone faster, is to delete & throw all the things that reminds you of the past relationship….
    i just have had a r/s broken up a month plus ago, i loved the guy extremely much , i felt miserable for first 2 weeks.but as time passes, it will soon improve.
    give yourself time, give yourself space to be yourself. don’t be afraid to like feel down and sad, its totally fine.After all, we are all humans and humans are not perfect πŸ™‚
    would really recommend you to remove all traces of the past failed r/s to move on faster, but it is really up to you. you know yourself best, so try to do things that will help you move on at a better pace . time will heal almost everytime , like people say , maybe it would , maybe it wouldnt. im not too sure myself, but it seems like after a while, the feelings will fade and you’ll be numb with that nostalgic feeling .
    things will get better.

  93. not point wasting time if both of you are not suitable
    look at the bright side, you now have more time to do what you want to do!
    you can still care for her as a friend..
    cheer up, good luck to you and Merry Christmas
    You’ll meet someone special in 2009, have faith in yourself

  94. owww.. I was just thinking what could be worse than spending christmas without family around..
    oh wells… guess u’ll’ve to just move on with life..

  95. dont feel upset. i’m pretty sure you gain and learn a lot although you lose her now. be optimistic, like me! πŸ™‚
    cheer up. and merry xmas πŸ™‚

  96. cheer up Kenny πŸ™‚ I agree, you’ve probably got lots of other priorities anyway, things to achieve. You’re still young with a lot of opportunities around you. And there’s a big world out there waiting to be explored by you!
    So enjoy your life before you have to share it with someone else, coz as you’ve already realized, you may not be able to do some things after you’ve been “tied down”. πŸ™‚
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Kenny!

  97. when we lose something,we’re bound to gain something.have faith and wait.i’m still waiting lah..must psycho self to push on man! πŸ™‚

  98. Cheer up, mate. Go ahead, see the world and fulfill your ambitions. Along the way, you might get to meet someone who could share it all. Relationships are infinite events. I am still friends with a girl who won’t be my girlfriend/wife.

  99. hahaha. now guys use the game to get pussy.
    u of all people should know better than to get involved in this kind of relationship

  100. No doubt that I’m a big fan of but guess it’s prolly because I only read one side of the story, and now that I read your side of the story, well it is true that it takes two to tango. I’ve always had a bad impression on how you handle your relationship and how samantha was always so hidden and kept away for reasons only you know, but oh well. I feel you too now, after this post. I hope you’re feeling better now too. πŸ™‚

  101. Fuck you J, what the heck with the need and needs.
    If he thinks thats he stills wants to be with her, thens he woulds have givens the relationship another go. Brainless bastard.

  102. Sagittarius loves freedoms, explores, adventures. πŸ™‚ Am i right?
    Anyway, stay strong, “xia yi ge hui gen hao”… πŸ˜€

  103. *hug*. If its any consolation, at least there’s a girl in Singapore who has kinda like a school girl’s crush on you and adores the literature on your blog. Now you know. Hope you feel better soon. =)

  104. She’s a Scorpio. I’m a Sagittarius.
    She’s 22. I’m 26.
    She sleeps at 7am. I wake up at 7am.
    She eats laksa, pastries and fried chicken wings. I eat sushi, salad and sandwiches.
    She stays indoors. I stay curious about what the outside world has to offer.
    when you re in love with somebody, you will start to likewhat she like right?
    dont you find that you start eating laksa, pastries and fried chicken wings? may be you’ll start notice you can accept what she like after this.
    there are benefits of two people coming together from different world. there’s always got different topics from each other, sharing different experiences, life wont get bored(if 2 same type person, they will end with no topic), have enough personal time, miss each other more when not together, and both of you will appreciate each other more when both of you meet up.
    merry christmas=]

  105. I totally ‘feel’ you…we too broke it off on ‘his’ birthday…worst still, it was MY birthday just 7 days away…
    why do people leave…. πŸ™

  106. “It would’ve been fine if we argued over new things each time. At least that would’ve still kept things interesting. But to argue and fight and explain the same topics over and over again each time is just way too frustrating for any human being to handle”
    actually i also having the same problem…
    same time period also…8 years…BUT include 3 years of marriage….so be strong! kenny!

  107. Some people here just do not have a sense of tact. Opinions will always be opinions…the differences are how blatant and constructive they are.

  108. u can go over it with ur adventurous way n find frens 2 “vomit” all out abt ur problems! jz thk tat it’s not worth to thk abt it again…i’ve been single for 2 years after ended a 5-year relationship. πŸ™‚ god bless!

  109. I had gone through what you had gone through within 8 years. Firstly we are all student in Aus, then he is still a student, while I’m working in another country. Later on, we working in different country. Then, working in different state in Malaysia. Finally we are married and settle down at a same place.
    I always “fight”, which include verbally and physically. And I dont know why finally we still got married. After married the “fighting” is still carry on.
    I’m admire you able to make such decision on breaking up with someone you love or you had get used to.
    Well, you are kind of “hyperactive”, normal girl is hard to accept. Well, one day you will feel more settle down, by that moment, you then able get someone with longer relationship.

  110. err… u sounds pathetic le…
    if not ngan then break lor… lol…
    old not go, new not come… swt…
    n also, revealin it in ur blog is a very sad action… sorry if got offended,,,

  111. cheer up kenny… argh too bad i jst read this post, otherwise i could hav asked u to join my table the night i saw u outside of mojo on christmas eve

  112. Awww….. a heart-wrenching post sprinkled with memoirs of love with a tinge of PAYBACK.

  113. What do you mean “Single again”? Were you two ever married? Whole idea of dating is to learn about each other and if what you feel can overcome any differences.
    Not to confuse Attraction with Love. Where Love exists, Compatibility doesn’t count for very much.
    Sounds more like you both became Conveniences for each other.
    That her friend asked “If he could have her” suggests your relationship was not exclusive.
    There is “Your someone Special” out there, and when you meet you’ll both know it. In the meantime HAVE FUN, successful marriages take Compromise and Dedication.

  114. What a bunch of “Lamiters” (lame-hitters). Is it any wonder your women loose interest?
    First requirement:- Woman needs “A MAN”, not some boy at her beck and call. Give her some of what she wants, and LOTS of what she needs.
    Even if you’re not, make like a Buterfly once in a while, nothing like another womans’ attention to keep the possessive flame burning.
    If you need more I’ll have to charge a fee, maybe I’ll write an Instruction Manual, better still, if you can’t cope send her to me LOL!

  115. Today onwards I want to be your regular reader. Forget about all the relationships matter. Most of the time it will bring us down.

  116. u make me look back to my two relationships which taken my 10 years. what i can say is, not the right timing to meet a right person.
    Γ₯Ε“Β¨Γ₯Β―ΒΉΓ§Ε‘β€žΓ¦β€”ΒΆΓ©β€”Β΄Γ©Ββ€‘Γ€ΒΈΕ Γ©β€β„’Γ§Ε‘β€žΓ€ΒΊΒΊΓ―ΒΌΕ’Γ₯Ε“Β¨Γ©β€β„’Γ§Ε‘β€žΓ¦β€”ΒΆΓ©β€”Β΄Γ©Ββ€‘Γ€ΒΈΕ Γ₯Β―ΒΉΓ§Ε‘β€žΓ€ΒΊΒΊΓ―ΒΌΒ

  117. sad to know this…
    Dude, please stand up and look forward…
    I’m in mid of deep shit now…
    Hopefully I will not be the next blogger who announce break up…
    I just dun wish to be alone again~

  118. Kenny, you’re running one of the most popular blogs in Malaysia and you’re revealing your personal love life here – with pix and all the details. Not everyone, especially girls – will enjoy that kind of attention.
    You have all the sympathy and encouraging words now. I read ‘Bunga bukan sekuntum’,’there’s lots of fishes in the ocean’ feeling better now? Think about the ‘Bunga’ or ‘Fish’ that you just revealed – where’s her privacy rights?
    No, you don’t care about your ex-gf.
    It’s easy to see that you wouldn’t publish this post if you really care about her. You just care and love yourself more – it’s obvious.

  119. You’ll get over it. Plenty of fishes in the sea. Hey wanna budget travel to see more of the world? We broke up just a few days after yours. Your scenario is exactly the same as mine well except different characters are playing the role..urs being male-female..mine female-female.. Life is too good to be wasted in sorrows..

  120. The realities of life can hit home quite hard. While love CAN overcome every obstacle in its way, there needs to be enough of it to succeed.
    I know the other party and I think that apart from differences in schedule, you guys are worlds apart on the intellectual plain as well. You’re a practical man, she’s an idealist. The biggest indicator was when she took the job at Starbucks on shift. If she really wanted to make it work, she would have considered something that would have allowed your schedules to dovetail in tandem.
    Not that this excuses your past behaviour towards her but its always sad to see another missed opportunity cos I think that everyone deserves to find their own happiness.

  121. have faith. relationship has to be worked on and sometimes you have to let it go to know if it works. perhaps she be more understanding and perhaps you will find her again. either way both grow to mature and who knows, like you said it be stronger than ever. you don’t have to keep identifying the differences just to justify your breakup. being in love does not need a strong similar reason. maybe the reason both of you got together because you accepted her for being so different. only that the built up stress and fatigue made you decide such drastic decision. either way, i wish you all the best in this festive season and leave the rest to good faith.

  122. Merry Xmas, Happy New Year.
    Doesnt matter you have broken up, takes a while to heal. You have so much to live for. Perhaps it was not the right time. Hard to keep up with your jet-setting lifestyle while maintaining stay at home gal. Very hard.

  123. Hm…cannot think like that….single doesn’t mean gone case forever…
    How many girls are there in Malaysia or around the world? Dont worry laaa….got girls will want you de. xD

  124. kesiannya/kennysia
    noticed that u just had an advertisement under ur banner, kinda good, we dont mind ads that much:)
    above was just a joke. hope for best of your life

  125. dude, I actually feel terrible for you. I’m going through the same thing as you (well not all the same larh), but you know, almost everything lah. same motions.
    can’t say everything will be alright, but. you know. some nights you just cry into your pillow and wish things were different.
    but its just tough shit.
    big hugs.

  126. I believe this blog had touches lot of people’s heart. I saw lot of comments by the readers to show concern and some even scolded you. But that was consoling words to you. What most important is YOURSELF, how you treat the things that already happen. Do the things which you think is deem right and be honest to your heart. Is fine if you want to sad for a while but after that need to get up and be yourself again. No one could help you except yourself. All of us could only hope and pray for you. As lot of people would say ‘Time will heal’ but how much time will heal is depends on you.
    So hope you know what should do next. πŸ™‚

  127. Yo dude~!
    What with the gloomy post. The feeling is there and there is nothing you can do about it. Relationship is not a one way thing my friend. Since it’s not working there is nothing more you can do aye? Why not spend this coming new year with your mom and family? Still lonely msg me friend. But i doubt you’ll be lonely. Come on It’s KENNY~!
    stay strong man!

  128. It’s better to break off now than to get married and than realised you need to get away from each other.
    Spend more time with your friends and family who accept you as you are.

  129. I know exactly how it feels … to revolve your life around someone, to chain your world around one person and to have that anchor yanked violently out of your life. I guess you’re kinda floating, wondering aimlessly for a while. Well, at least you have this to keep you busy. Cheer up Kenny!

  130. I don’t know if it makes a difference, but this is comment #250, and all I can say is, hang in there… These birthday breakups are meant to suck the fun and joy out of a birthday for you
    But it gets better over time. But you’ll always wonder, what will happen during a birthday…forever…
    Just remember, to move on. Have a drink. Or two.
    And never stop caring. Because apparently, that’s what makes a person’s character.

  131. Hi! Well, I had been single for almost 6 months. And I didn’t know how much more happier being single without him till I realize I can smile just walking down the street (due to the freedom, ease and load off my back). Yes.. Christmas, new year, birthday, valentine’s day, I’d spend alone. But, I did things like packing up my desk and wrapping up my story books yesterday – Things I won’t have time to do previously. Oh ya, same as u mentioned, catching up with old friends whom I’ve not met for years. Of course, given your hectic lifestyle, such pockets of empty time are precious… because it’s such time where u can really reflect and think deeply. I’m sure with your calibre, u’d have better catches in future. πŸ™‚

  132. Hey Kenny. We all have to go through things we don’t want to but it is all part of life. Of course we may feel discouraged and sad. But always remember that there would always be something else better in the future to look forward to. All the best. Cheers πŸ™‚

  133. have been reading you and this would probably be the first ever comment..haha dun think you’ll read this since there’s so many other comments…
    but i think what you’re doing is be encouraged =) you only live once,and we don’t want to die regretting that we have not live our life to the fullest..and so breaking it off and focusing on yourself and your life for now,is’s great that you know what you want for yourself.
    take care and as for the other festive seasons and all..i’m sure you have other single frens right =p take care! and have a great new year celebration!*cheers*

  134. love will happen when you least expect it.
    and probably from the least likely person too.
    count your blessings this christmas season and see how loved you are in other ways, by many others, and step into the new year with confidence.
    and cliche as it sounds, time does heal all wounds.
    just like erosion.
    and fossils.
    and evolution.
    and history.
    and geneocide.
    and everything else.
    we all still love u lah.

  135. Dont be too affected by that others thinks your motives of this blog is about…
    They dunno whatz true meaning of a blog… To all who thinks he shouldnt blog about this entry, First of all, i didnt see kenny saying anything bad about his ex gf at all.. no bitching no splashing of the negatives…. so.. CHILL….
    who are you to tell if he shld or shld not blog about this? the true meaning of bloggin would have been lost just because he is our “famous kennysia” but deep down inside, he belong to himself… he needs to reconstruct his unsettling emotions at times too… can life be forever full of good food, nice night life… no excruciating pain and the indulge of loneliness?
    There is a point of time in life, we experience these things…
    So does he…
    the occasions can be celebrated with friends too…
    For example, i host a house party during valentine day for all my frens that are single…
    cooked for them, and have a little small drinkin session…
    Once we have sth in life, we tend to overlook sth esle too…
    PS: u had my picture taken at nuffnang xmas party.. i didnt know tt you T_T…
    CRAP LAR!!!

  136. Not sure if you remembered this song, but hope it helps! Take care and feel better when you can =)
    “Everybody is free to wear sunscreen”
    by Baz Luhrman
    Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97,
    Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term
    benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or
    reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice….now.
    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won’t understand the power and
    beauty of your youth until they’ve faded, but trust me in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of
    yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous
    you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
    Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra
    equation by chewing bubblegum.
    The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides
    you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
    Do one thing every day that scares you.
    Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
    Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is
    long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
    Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).
    Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.
    Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people
    I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year
    olds I know still don’t.
    Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees — you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
    Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll
    divorce at 40; maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
    Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half
    chance, so are everybody else’s.
    Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it’s the
    greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
    Dance…even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.
    Read the directions (even if you don’t follow them).
    Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.
    Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
    Be nice to your siblings: they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in
    the future.
    Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps
    and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you
    were young.
    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
    Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
    Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you
    do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children
    respected their elders.
    Respect your elders.
    Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse,
    but you never know when either one might run out.
    Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.
    Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia;
    dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal–wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and
    recycling it for more than it’s worth.
    But trust me, I’m the sunscreen.

  137. Jilted on your Birthday? Thats COLD man.
    There’s a country & western song in there somewhere: She left with her best friend on my birthday, the dog has crabs and my pickup is humping the curb, doo wah, doo wah.
    Still, if you or the many lamiters can’t find a LOYAL woman with global odds of over 5 to 1 in mens’ favour, maybe it’s time to marry palmelaaaaa and her five sisters. Hey, get thrown in jail an become Bubba’s beef.
    If not for yourselves at least represent your gender. I think I’ll puke again.

  138. this is my 1st time visiting your blog. a friend of mine have requested me to read this page. the story is so so familar. not sure how to express but we still have to go still struggling to find myself back..but the sadness, the feeling you have i think i understand.noone can really help us at this point. i also did go through a lonely x’mas and will be a lonely new year next week.

  139. As long as you’ve realised that the two of you aren’t suited to be together in the long run, it’s not a wasted relationship. I hope that you can find someone that you care about, and who also cares about you. It’s important to share the same goals and dreams with the person you’re with. Don’t make the mistake that I had. Making something work that wasn’t supposed to work in the first place, and then having to deal with an empty marriage that is going nowhere s-l-o-w-l-y. With any luck, this time next year, I’ll be divorced and hopefully, happier than I am this Xmas.

  140. I gave up after reading 10% of the comments so I could be writing something someone has already written. But anyway, just in case no one has any similarities, here goes:
    Firstly, I salute you for being able to come out and write this. It’s a lot of courage. And one month is quite a short time to heal a wound esp one which has been there for 2 years. Throw in a birthday “present” as such and a suitor after her the very next day, you have almost the perfect ingredients for a nasty potion. So really…bravo to you!
    I think both of you have different priorities at this point of your lives. So, even if u r with the right person, it may not be the right time. Well, frankly speaking, some people dont really believe in “The ONE” theory. As in, we always think that one guy has the PERFECT girl which houses one of his ribs (thanks to fairytales). But actually, some believe that a guy has a few choices… that are suitable, it’s just a matter of choosing the one you feel can suit you better / u r more comfortable with compared to the rest. But the rest are also potentials too. Same goes for the girls. Obviously, after the choosing is done, no more 2nd round of choosing lah.
    Arguments, in their own nature, are good. Any serious relationships MUST have arguments because after all no one is exactly as the other so there are bound to be places where both the edges rub and create some sparks. Any relationship WITHOUT arguments is in danger of being fake as the couple may be in denial. It’s a matter of how to handle the arguments. They are supposed to make the couple feel closer and more understanding towards each other. Since it’s not making any improvements to your relationship, perhaps the differences are bigger to bridge.
    Reading your post, i just feel that well, the relationship is very unhealthy to begin with – esp the feeling of always being “unjustified”. There’s probably a lot of give and take already but not enough to make a strong foundation. Differences in themselves are no harm because it spices up both of your lives learning about each other’s likes and dislikes. But if it becomes a competition of who is better or more “correct”, then…calling it quits is the better deal for now.
    The real definition of love can overcome a lot of things but sadly, nowadays the definition itself is distorted. No wonder many have lost in the game of love. This probably sounds very cliche but if you cant substitute your/her name in the place of the word “LOVE” honestly in the following phrases, then it’s on the rocks:
    Love is patient
    love is kind and is not jealous;
    love does not brag and is not arrogant,
    does not act unbecomingly;
    Love does not seek its own, is not provoked,
    Love does not take into account a wrong suffered,
    Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
    Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
    Now that all is sad and done, it’s time for a new beginning! I’m sure by now you’ve had many offers to spend Christmas, New Year (and probably Valentine’s). So, enjoy and look forward to the future. If you find yourself toying with the idea of attachment, it’s good to read some relationship books – Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus is a good start.
    I probably have a lot more to say but my migraine is giving me stern warnings so I shall end here by wishing you all the best in everything you put your hands (or feet) into. Remember:
    Tomorrow Never Dies πŸ™‚

  141. this is kenny’s blog and he can choose to write whatever he wants. he did not force you to come here so if you dont like what you’re reading, close the page. why are you so sad to leave nasty comments when you can just pissoff to another page.
    he’s writing about his life here. who are you to call it pathetic or watever. wat have you done in ur life. this might have started out as his personal blog, is it his fault that sometimes he attracts idiots and haters like you to his page? no.
    so to the people who have no lives but to leave nasty comments on a page you choose to come into, ur the really pathetic ones.

  142. The main different between yourself and ur ex-gf would be the personalities and background. There is nothing much to do with age, zodiacs, favourite food etc. Your ex-gf is surrounded/exposed to college, studies and friends. She would never able to understand the complicated of working life as how you are exposed to being more mature to learn to deal with work, different kinds of ppl, polictics and life. Moreover, the conversation between yourself and her would be limited to studies and friends. If you are looking for someone, you should find someone who have some similiarity with you, who are able to understand and share your problems or able to communicate in 2 ways.

  143. Dude,
    Talking abt feeling miserable, I should feel more miserable than you but yet I don’t. I’m 23, still single and nobody in this society
    You’re earning good income, famous ,a top blogger and etc….
    So what is there to feel miserable abt?
    Feeling bad doesn’t give you anything or lead you to anywhere in life.
    You’re onli 26, there is still a lot of opportunities along the way. πŸ˜‰
    From your reader,

  144. Being single for years myself, I can tell you that you’ll need time to get used to all the free time you have in hand now. But being you and all the activities that will definitely claim all your time, you’ll find your pace again.
    hahaha i’m saying this and not knowing if you gonna read it or not. oh well, at least i’ve done my part here. it’s a proof of me being your reader πŸ™‚
    be strong… and who says you’re alone? from all the comments seen posted hourly here, i hardly find that being alone. compared to you, i’m more alone LOL
    happy christmas kenny!

  145. It is very possible Kenny baby, chicks will date you for the media exposure. Also possible that you conscious or otherwise, exploited your celebrity.
    Without any juvenile crap, finding a suitable mate is the biggest gamble one will ever make, closer you get the more you discover.
    Other truth is people Mature later in these so-called modern times, not to be confused with adulthood.
    Why this observation? Her timing and your re-action. This level of extra-corricular has no place in a Caring relationship, pre-present-or post. Mature break-up is simply realising you’re not meant for each other. Mutual parting of the ways leave lots of room for lasting friendship. Exs are some of my best friends though I’ve been married for a while. It’s all about Respect.

  146. Reading your blog entry is a reflection of how my past relationship has been. Two different people trying all they can to make it work in about the same time (2 yrs +) but exhaustion seeps in and hope dwindles. I feel for you coz I felt it before. It hurts deeply but time will heal. Do remember there is always mr/ms right out there somewhere for those who believe in love! Cheers~

  147. Look, now you’ve gone and given poor Flo a migrane, or maybe it’s all those bodily fluids backing-up.
    Where’s this happening? “Land of inept men and frustrated women”, sounds like a place to avoid. Big Q: Is it the air, food, or a mixture of both? Definitely not normal. Perhaps the prostate exam during your physical awakened suppressed feelings. Stay with me, we’ll work on the chorus later.

  148. Hey Kenny, it must have been really hard for the both of you to be going through this phase. Hope things will eventually turn out fine for you, patch-up or not :-). Best wishes for Christmas and the coming new year!

  149. cheer up dude…….its only a gal….the OCEAN is huge… u baru 26…not 62.. dont make her as a burden in life… u’ll get a better gal in life… :D.

  150. dear kenny
    i’m not going to give you good advice, i’m going to give you a legen-wait for it-dary advice. 2 words suit up!! i’m going to be your awesome wing man and we’ll play a game called “have you met kenny?”
    it takes a few steps to get over a break up … those are the steps it takes from her bed to the door.
    wat up

  151. Cheer up!!
    I m so touching when reading this.
    Love is a hard lesson in our life,but if we able to go thru that hardest part~~then we r perfect to be a grade “A” human being.^^

  152. I’m also a sagitarrus… My x too… My x and I are broke up recently… Is it because of horoscope?! Even I’m in relationship not long, I really feel weird of being single…

  153. Wow…Kenny….who say you are alone on all this festivals…you have so many supporters here I bet they would love to hangout with you ..if not come to KL or Singapore….F1 Team will entertain you..:)
    Cheer up buddy….you are only 26th..we have been there done that…when you reach 40th birhtday and look back and you will realize is not that painful after all ok……:)ooppss…everyone knows my age already…Ok…BIG hugs and kisses here
    Take care…

  154. Kenny,
    Been reading your blog for over abt 2 years now. I remember your post on AYAM sometime back.
    Just my two-cents.
    You life is a tv-soap that has different characters;with you playing the lead role.
    Every individual enhances your life and brings out the best in you.
    So enjoy life and have no regrets on anything, because each step you take transforms your journey into a magical one.

  155. “Instead of rushing out of the house to meet her at 9pm, I found myself scratching my head wondering what to do with my free time. Instead of appearing offline on MSN, I found myself chatting and catching up with old friends again, some of whom I haven’t spoken to for months. Finally I have time to do my own things and get the wheels rolling on the many ideas I have in mind, but never had time to put into action.”
    exactly what happened to me before i broke up, i lost touch with two of my best friends just cause my ex did not like me speaking with them. but with god’s grace i was able to contact them back and guess what i fell in love with 1 of them, the feelings never got to grow before that breakup.
    cheer up man, being single is both fun and boring sometime. but the best part is having the feeling and excitement of loving another person from the start =)

  156. Kuching should be worried about a whole generation of pansified young men. That so few took exception to plastering the young lady on www speaks to being stuck in primary school-yard warp.
    In providing expensive education and affluence, parents completely missed the boat on Life’s Lessons.
    What a mother-lode of desperation. Damn, I’m out of puke.

  157. Well..i have juz broke up too. On 18th dec right after my best friend wedding…2days b4 my birthday. I tot tht he was gng to at least call me or text me on my birthday to wish me a “Happy Birthday” but no! I cried my eyes out on the eve of my birthday and decided to forget abt him. Just wen i was abt to concentrate in my job and life again, he called me on Christmas eve and wana hang out wif me. Patch back again and juz half an hour ago he said “let’s juz be good friends”….I had the worst birthday, the saddest CHristmas coz we were argueing wen i wud hav spend my planned christmas eve with my friends at Triangle but i left my friends for him. Now i m gona spend my New Year’s Eve, Chinese New Year and Valentine alone…this sucks even more…we are on the same boat Kenny…Just gota let time heals…sigh!!

  158. HEY KENNY~

  159. Hye. I used to boycott you, cause you commented on girls’ pimples wtf.
    Feeling quite miserable too. Ended my 2 month old relationship recently. We have totally opposite personalities. As a mater of fact, we share almost nothing in common.
    We don’t argue. And that’s the problem. We failed badly in communicating. Sigh.. I dunno if it’s worthy to try working on this relationship. We never tried. Or perhaps it’s better to let go.
    Of course it feels weird. With this fucking -7degree weather, no one to walk me home after classes. No one to hold my hand. T__T
    Hate hate hate loneliness.

  160. Its difficult to have a relationship at different levels of life. Working life and student life are two completely different phases. There are success stories, but it doesn’t undermine the difficulty of making a rship like dat work.
    I really hope you enjoy your single life in the meantime, then find someone once you’ve re-discovered yourself. =)

  161. awh I’ve never been in any relationships before but i do know one thing; you will always have true friends to fall back to πŸ™‚
    hope 2009 will bring you happiness and fulfillment! (and more interesting posts ^^)

  162. Yo.
    When it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. When it’s not, then it’s not.
    For those who has read this blog… Let me just give you a little hope for those who have a partner of an opposite character / personality.
    I am 25, english-educated, from quite an affluent family and currently doing postgrad in australia. My bf, however is 41, un-educated, doesn’t speak a word of english and currently working in KL. With my parents against our union, there is no reason why we should continue our relationship.
    However, we’ve been together for 5 years (2 yrs long distance) and still going stronger. All these while, we’ve both put a lot of faith and trust in each other. And although we do fight sometimes, everything we’ve been through has made me believe that True love conquers all.
    (P.s. Must also have a lot a lot of perseverance and hardwork)

  163. Kenny, my 8 years relationship is constantly tipping over the ocean. The communication break down between men and women are common.
    I found that women tend to solve their emotion before attending to the problems, while men tend to take women’s emotional sharing moment as annoying and try to fix her problem for her. There is no right or wrong, but just different ways to adapt to the world.
    I am reading this book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, it helped me at least to sort out the communication break down. When you have the time and interest, perhaps can have a look. It is not as cliche as what people said.
    All the best in your New Year.

  164. It’s ok that you break up now rather you divorce later due to difference. I have a lifelong partner but we quarrel almost everyday. Sometimes the quarrel makes me feel so passionless. However life still goes on. After we quarrel, we patched back then we quarrel again , then we patched back. He even quarrel with me on X’mas day. Just now on our way back home we quarrel again. I’m so sick and tired of quarrelling and quarrelling. When is it going to stop. So sick and tired to be in a relationship. Sometimes I thought of want to break free. Break away from this relationship. To be single and Free again.

  165. hey kenny, im an occasional reader of your blog.
    im one of those who had a totally crappy christmas too. i didnt spend it alone, but it was just as good as if i did. totally screwed up.
    i know i would never be able to express enough concern for u to feel it, i understand that sometimes all we need to hear is just one word of encouragement, and only from the ones we want to hear them from.
    nonetheless, just would like you to know, u’re not alone.
    i know i sound like im in love with you, but honestly, im doing this only because i seriously feel your heart and can totally relate to how crappy this christmas is.
    take care.

  166. A Breath of FRESH AIR, Happygirl got it right. Dominant criteria for a mate is Mutual CARING.Social or Intellectual Equivalence could be remedied later.
    Me thinks POOR Kenny left something out,crediting the young lady with any degree of Decency says He messed-up bigtime, breaking-up on his birthday is extreme. Perhaps re-action to ultimatum or B’day gift she won’t deliver.
    Regardless,overwhelming:-“I’m going through the same thing Kenny. I’m still recovering Kenny.I’m alone too Kenny.She hurt me Kenny”. Reduced me to dry-heaving.
    To which I say: “Here wussis, wussis, perform and I’ll pat your head and give you a biscuit. NO NOOKIE, thats for the MAN she might meet”.
    Don’t like what I say? Keep drowning in your NEGATIVE persecution-trip. Real women need someone to UPLIFT them without abandoning the Masculine traits she’s attracted to.
    Not affluent,left school early teen.Have rules:-NEVER Exaggerate or spend to impress.Woman must never need to tell me NO twice. Allow her SPACE,not her fault if guys are attracted,be Confident she’ll come back,if she doesn’t, it’s best to know NOW. Always make her feel Special,let her know she is Loved without yielding-up a single ounce of manhood. NEVER LIE, women have a RADAR like no other.
    If you lack Confidence why should she have any. HONESTY, Don’t make commitments you cannot keep.Don’t ARGUE and let her know you’re always open to Intelligent, Civilised Discussion even disagreements, but NOT arguments. She argue I go out.Come home and she argue, I go out again, sooner or later she’ll get the message.
    Result: NEVER lacked for Women, as Lovers or Friends, my exes sometimes fix me up with their friends. OH, never get intimate with EXes.

  167. i read your blog all the time.
    i’ve never commented.
    during the, battle of the bands, you were a judge no?
    i interviewd u for the school mag.
    heartbreaks during christmas time are the worst.
    cheer up.
    always smile.
    happy xmas.

  168. Kenny, I kinda understand how u feel, especially regarding a relationship that keeps on going wif argues and conflicts. mine one lasts for 2 years as yours as well, as i still wonder how do we last so long with so many bruises and scars. Maybe the difference is in that men could oways keep going on loving someone despite the wounds while women can’t, they rather pick up someone better. well, who knoes, right?
    maybe sometimes, even tho two person are in love with each other, they still r meant to b together, especially for a serious relationship.
    cheers up, a belated merry christmas and happy new year.

  169. Kenny, I kinda understand how u feel, especially regarding a relationship that keeps on going wif argues and conflicts. mine one lasts for 2 years as yours as well, as i still wonder how do we last so long with so many bruises and scars. Maybe the difference is in that men could oways keep going on loving someone despite the wounds while women can’t, they rather pick up someone better. well, who knoes, right?
    maybe sometimes, even tho two person are in love with each other, they still r meant to b together, especially for a serious relationship.
    cheers up, a belated merry christmas and happy new year.

  170. Aiyo… Kenny… why so sad case one…, girlfriend is just like a car loh. Not ngam, change loh. In fact, there are more cars for you to try on than you. πŸ™‚

  171. g0ldf193r : girlfriends should never be treated like cars, if u say so i guess u just never experienced true love. the perfect one is hard to come by. grow up and don act like u’re 12. appreciate what you have. and GIRLFRIENDS ARE NOT CARS.

  172. Gosh, it sounds like you really loved the girl…
    But don’t worry Kenny, with your determination and tenacity, you won’t be single for long… Take pleasure in knowing you’re successful, accomplished and an example to other Malaysians… Cheer up, boy! There’s nothing like family and friends to spend Christmas and New Year’s with!

  173. I am surprised to read this post. To find out that your ex is a Scorpio while you are a Sagittarius. So coincidentally I am a Scorpio while my 3rd boyfriend is a Sagi.
    I guess these two horoscopes are not suitable to be together.
    We had cold fights pretty much. And our relationship lasted 5 months.

  174. Dude.
    This is probably the smartest thing you have ever done.
    I totally understand what you mean by the frequent arguing. I am only curious why you didn’t end it sooner. I would have said something but who am I to say anything?
    But. Yes a but. Your attempt to justify the break up is really well., quite sad.
    That said, you still did a smart thing anyways. All the best in the future.

  175. That’s it,reached my quota of horse-shit for 2008.EMBARRASSING.
    Seems Kuching is working it’s way back to days when “men” duh,found solace in each other,and only got together with women for the “CHORE” of pro-creation.
    Next logical step is for Young Women to FLEE the scene for a Normal life.
    Sorry paesano, Truth is Truth, plastering the young Lady on WWW was LOW and suggests she made the right move.

  176. dude…u are a minor fukin celeb….you should be banging way hotter chicks than that….this is your chance to….bang em then post em

  177. all this while u’ve been galivanting around Paris with other gals. Are you out of your mind? Please DO avoid starting another relationship till you grow up! But I do think imho that guys like you are Peter Pans who won’t ever mature. I actually think it might be partly because of the Kuching culture.

  178. Hey Kenny,
    In times, choices are made, is different
    but no one is perfect because of differences
    From time to time, choices you make.
    Takes different path. You know about the term ” oppourtunity cost”
    Maybe just a time off, she will get back to you for sure,
    Just the need of how to get her back to your arms.
    Be friends, times are stress, but never give up and passion up…

  179. I have no idea if you’ll read this post among the hundreds of others.. but I just had to say… I sincerely hope you were gentlemanly enough to get her permission to “reveal” her on this very public blog of yours. Obviously, for 2 years, the both of you made a decision to keep it private so why are you airing your dirty laundry now? Much worse, you’ve managed to twist this post in such a way that depicts her as a common, simple-minded silly college girl and yourself as a well-rounded wholesome man and I honestly do not think that was the right thing to do AT ALL. I pity the poor girl and although I feel immensely sorry for the both of you and hope you will feel better soon, but I really do not think that this was the most mature way to handle the situation. Just my 2 cents.

  180. Just to keep the record straight. Lamiters of Kuching are predominantly those who can afford a PC. Wouldn’t want to implicate any Real Men among this select group of WUSSIS who earned Kuching the designated HORSE CRAP Capital of Planet Earth.

  181. cheer up kenny
    its my 1st time writing comment here coz I totally understand ur feeling while u said both of u r totally 2 different person…when I read this post…I’m like reading what I am writing (also some ppl facing the same thing) when the time I go to sleep is the time he wakes to work, i’m indoor he’s more adventure…n yea…arguing the same thing on n on..for yrs..which is really frustrating…a brave decision u did cause u did to stop it…ur post might help me in the future :p

  182. i’ve wondered for quite some time now whether you had feelings behind that bigger-than-life blogger exterior, well at least now i know you do. kudos. you’ve made me a believer. ha-ha. i don’t think you need me or anyone else commenting on this blog to tell you what to do about this otherwise you’ll be one sad pup,bub.
    However i can’t help but say reading about you and yours truly having constant arguments definitely just shows that you guys were well, not suitable for each other(i’m quite surprised that you guys last this long).
    it’s a good step and kenny, it’s okay to be single, just don’t think about it.
    Plus, why make the girl your personality?
    why can’t it be Kenny=single is equivalent to kenny=taken?
    get me?
    okay i’m no love doctor and somehow i feel a slight joy in seeing you in pain..okay i was joking there kenny-fans. love is not subjugated by any rules and regulated conformities, i’m sure you’ll find someone or someone will find you.
    life don’t need to suck.
    i’ve read her(samantha poh) blog and then i read yours..both of you are slowly reaching the point where it doesnt matter..wounds heal overtime and if it doesnt, a bid of vodka would do the trick eh..haha..
    right, i sound like i’m a friend and i doubt i am anything but a friend so have fun with life…
    P.S: if you feel a bit sad, you should donate your earnings to a humble yet benevolent…right, i’ll go now back to the cave for me…

  183. to those ‘haters’, why do you guys try to over-analyze the situation? not everybody is a cruel mastermind of lies and deception.. he is just heartbroken, thus, using his blog as an outlet to vent out his pent-up emotions. this is afterall still HIS blog, regardless how much of a celebrity he is. he deserves to be able to write what he wants, and isnt that why we love to read his blog in the first place? for the uncensorship, the raw feelings and honest opinions? or do you guys want kenny sia to be just another plastic mindless clone going along with the way ‘society’ thinks?
    kenny sia, i applaud you for sharing with us your heart. cheer up becoz when one door closes, another one opens.

  184. don’t be upset .. life still goes on.. there is a say .. if she is urs, she will be urs .. the time isn’t right ..
    being single is not a bad thing… hehehe .. at least u have time do what you want, time to sleep longer and blog more often ..

  185. hey i am sorry to hear has been a few days i didnt read your blog and shocked to receive this news about you. Well only God knows what is best for you, as long as you tried your best, in just anything…but still doesnt work then the only thing to do is to let it go πŸ™‚ Be STRONG k? and take care of yourself πŸ™‚ I am looking forward for more posts from you to come πŸ™‚

  186. Take it easy… I know it’s not easy but i assure you that you are not alone. I’m in the same situation as you except mine is not a relationship but a marriage. Take care..

  187. it must’ve hurt so much that you actually wrote this entry. surprising.
    cheer up, while you still have so much to do for your life, isn’t it?

  188. My relationship officially ended on the 21/12. 3 days before the Christmas Eve we usually spend together.
    Mine lasted for 4 years and 4 months. I faced the same problems as your relationship did. I was and still am, believe that a relationship when started, is a long-term commitment.
    But he wanted something else. He wanted to go overseas to study and never come back. He has been thinking abt this decision for the whole of 2008.
    I felt like a fool while waiting for him to decide.
    I’m reaching 21 on 5th Jan. Christmas I spent it with my sister and bro in law. Of cos I wouldn’t say it was a fantastic Christmas cos I felt miserable everyday.
    Tml is New Year’s Eve and I shd be celebrating. I have always been someone who looks forward to Christmas, New Year and CNY. And the additional bonus Valentine’s Day.
    Now being single again. I find myself falling and picking myself up again and again. I hope one day this pain will fade and I will be moving on to a better light.
    I hope the same goes for you too.
    And I truly applaude those who have experienced this pain and able to move on. I really do.

  189. SURPRISE Grace! ALL go through what some believe to be EXCLUSIVE. Every stat available shows, people rarely end-up with their teenage hearthrob.Most posts are whining about being DUMPED, with nary a thought for WHY.
    Saggi, Taurus, Pices is a LOAD of Infantile bull. All thats required are two caring human beings which seems to be the crux of this “tailored for Sympathy SAGA’.Unless where beastiality rears it’s ugly head,BAAAA_aaaa!
    Small consolation now, but BIG in reality. Would you rather hurt a little now or wind-up alone with his offspring around your neck till you’re too old to care?? For sure this lot in Kuching are too Self-Centred to care and too juvenile to notice.
    Just maybe, local criteria for Attraction is too Shallow for Substance, with UNREASONABLE Expectations??
    Not Harsh, just Practical. MATURE people will find a way to convert a relationship with GRACE & DIGNITY, and where they don’t, it’s Their LOSS.

  190. First comment ever. Hurhur.
    Hopefully you’ll find something different to look forward to “at 9pm” and not find yourself scratching your head wondering what to do with your free time.
    New year, new hopes, new dreams…
    Have a great new year ahead!

  191. Initial feelings bring two people to start dating but what keeps two people together for life is compatibility.
    During the dating stage, two people starts assessing this compatibility. It is like feasibility study done in any major investment decision. This is to increase the likelihood of us making the right decision.
    If during the feasibility study (dating), the evidence collected shows that it is not compatible or the calculated risk is too high, the right decision is not to invest.
    Hence, “breaking-off” is not a bad thing. It simply means that you have done your homework, study the facts and the results from the analysis shows low chance of success. In fact, it’s a good thing.
    The reason people take it so negatively is because there is emotional attachment. However, once we take away the emotion, our cluttered mind becomes clear and good decision are made.
    I am a professional investor and I read Kenny’s Blog while taking a break. My parents serve as marriage counsellors during their free time. Make sure you get the right advice from the right people.
    Take it from those who had been married for 25 years at least. They will tell you that feelings last for the first two years. The rest of it boilds down to fundamentals.
    Based on the facts Kenny has presented on this blog and with the assumption that it is geniune, it is my opinion that he had made the right choice.
    Cheers to all! All the way from Wall Street, New York.

  192. Frankly speaking its not that easy to be with a partner not having similiar activities. Some might be able to accept but in the long run the quiet partner will start questioning oneself whether he/she is in a relationship or not.

  193. Dear Kenny,
    i understand how it felt to go thru a break up especially with chinese new year and valentines coming. i had just break up with my bf of two years.
    What hurt me the most is that i’ve been waiting for him for three months since he was transfer to work in uk. During the duration, we kept in contact by skype. I love him a lot and i miss him everyday. I even countdown the days when he will come back to KL.
    Things change when he come back. The way he behave and everything. I dunno how to put in words to be precise. I ask for a cooling off period after three weeks he came back.
    The next few days he acted strange, he condemns me in front of his parents, saying things that there is no turning back and he even declare himself single to his fren and in facebook.
    While on the other hand, i just remain quiet and let thing pass. a few days later he asked for a break up by sms and asked me to return him back the things that he lend it to me.
    Wat is ironic, is that he ask me back for his money. Isn’t that the money that u gave it to me willingly and asked me not to returned back? why are u asking it back now?
    I felt that he is so selfish and what he think is about himself. He has never think of me and how i feel.
    The next things i know is he posted our story on the net and a lot of ppl give advices. One thing he mentioned in the blog is, his family cannot accept me anymore that is why he asked for the break up. To be honest,i treated his parents better than i treated my own parents.
    Kenny, having a break up is tough but what is tougher is when u have to go thru the break up with no money, no frens around(i had move to KL when he was transfer to UK), no entertainment(he took back his computer(which is my the only one entertainment i have in KL)
    I remembered the first day after the break up i wake up looking at the wall thinking where to eat, who to eat with and where to go.
    But i manage to go thru all this alone, i used my four months saving(i just started working)to buy a laptop and read your blog kenny.
    You are better than me at least u can find a place to express yourself. Just keep yourself busy and if you feel like crying, just cry out trust me it helps a lot.
    Take care.

  194. Trying to work up some puke but it just won’t happen,my system has adapted to your horse shit post haste.
    What ails you folks is STAGNATION of the whole Region, with surprising realisation that Women accept their Injustice.
    Yea, Women are Home-makers who SERVE, but completely forgotten is that MEN are supposed to HONOUR the Women.
    Australia, where most go for education Have NO Child-Support Laws, men can just plant their seed and SCRAM.
    Even those who regard Women as second-class should consider, it was a Woman who carried your sorry ass for NINE Laborious Months and Delivered you into this World, then Nurtured you to her Detriment until old enough to DISRESPECT her Gender.TWIRP!
    “Good Soul” from Wall Street, you don’t need a MAN just get yourself a Clip-Board.
    Too much COMPATIBILITY make for VERY BOOORING relationships. Good Relationships/Marriages don’t just happen, they must be DEVELOPED & NURTURED like anything Worthwhile.
    Refute this PLEASE:- Most with DOCILE mates look for EXCITEMENT elsewhere.

  195. To Natty Dread – There is a saying which goes like this: “Don’t waste your time arguing with a fool”
    In my opinion, you are one perfect fool because your arguments have got no grounds!
    I am married for 20 years. How long have you been married? Get lost!

  196. So glad there is still a Spark outside of “Fundamentals” Good Soul.
    It’s not a question of How Long one’s been married, but whether it is “Successful”, Your Post state “Feelings last for about TWO years, the rest boils down to fundamentals”.
    One can only grasp Your feelings BOILED-Down to a relationship of HABIT,Financial CONVENIENCE or simply FEAR of perceived Insecurity after TWO short years, DEFINITELY not “LOVE”, and you’re offering this as a template for Lasting Relationship??
    All I can say Sincerely is “You poor thing, don’t you think you DESERVE Better than just SETTLING?”
    My woman will always know by Word & Deed that I LOVE her EVERYDAY, and the day she cease to return that Love is the day before we part company without any Venom. I’m mature enough to know that as people Grow-Closer,they also Grow-Apart.
    Though some jump from one relationship into another, all invariably Leave because They can’t stand (whatever it is) anymore.
    Free tip Good Soul, in terms of a Mate, try Thinking with Your Passionate HEART not the Calculating BRAIN.
    I often observe many who gravitate to World Class cities: Driving prestige cars,Living in desirable neighbourhoods, Dressing better, Eating to waste,hard Earned life of extravagance, yet completely forgetting to GROW as Human Beings. May as well have remained home. Regardless of address Good Soul, your thinking remains Third World.
    Honest debate demand more than an arrogant dismissal, for where Intellect exist REASON also resides. Put your EGO aside and present some Good Soul LOGIC, please. I do commend your spirit.
    I offer my saying:- “Those who know Everything, have Nothing left to learn”.

  197. 26 and single again?? Look at it as a blessing…life has much to offer. It’s worth the experience – you have not lost anything and still have many opportunities ahead.
    Life is great at 26 – have a good one head and many more to come. Happy New Year!

  198. Hey, I too just broke up with my gf. Loved her so much, more than I can explain. But things started going sour and she finally couldn’t take it although I was willing to try to fix things up. Just met her today and she told me that she still has feelings for her first bf. The pain in my heart is like nothing I can explain. All I want to do is curl up in bed and try to sleep, hoping it was all a dream… If I am so bold as to ask, how did you overcome it? Because I feel so empty inside, nothing makes me feel better, i cant keep food inside of me for more than 15 minutes, and I just feel like dying…

  199. cheer up dude. it’s sad when u know she’s out there and knowing u cant have her. be strong. i left the only love of my life for the greater good. being single ain’t that bad. it’s just psychology, like a smoker who’s too used to cigarettes, but prolong singleness ain’t no joke. talk is cheap right. u’ll get better in time. u’re famous anyway.. CHEERS

  200. Sometimes Kenny, what you think you have given to a person may not be what the other person think of you. I am soon to be single again. Been with the same guy for 11/2 years and I totally understand what you meant when you say “God knows you even exceed the 3 months to..” When love is no longer with you, guess you just have to accept the fact and move on with your life. I guess it is all easier said than done, ain’t it? Perhaps one fine day you and me will find our true love… In the mean time, enjoy all the wonderful experiences that you have had and will have in the upcoming year… cheers!

  201. Awww..Kelian de Kenny..
    Here, lemme give u a hug….*Hugs~
    and ther’s somethin’ else i wana add….

  202. True love comes when the time is right.
    You’ll know she’s the one when your days fill with joy and laughter, going to see her is not a schedule, there’s nothing to argue about beside her telling you she’s fat and you’re trying to tell her she’s pretty.
    Wait patiently, you might think you loved her…when you meet the right one, you’ll know what Love is all about. It’s not just going to starbucks…

  203. hey Kenny, well this might just be the first few times i m reading your blog.. but i seriously do feel for you. erm do cheer up ok? =) well being single is not as bad as it is… u’ll have a lot of free time u see… doing things that u wished u could have done last time… but just take it easy. Its hard…but trust me… u’ll do fine =) u’ll hv my support here… ^^ anyway Happy New Year =) n take care

  204. Relations are never about finding your soulmate.
    I believe its about putting up with each other and accepting their goods and bads as a package.
    Cheer up dude.

  205. my heart goes out to you..
    Kenny dear, i must admit that i don’t really visit your blog as often as some readers here. i’m not quite a “blog-person” errr, whatever the terms you use to describe a person like me. The reason i’m here “visiting” your blog was actually because i was bored. After checking my emails, facebook and indulging on the little up-to-date hollywood news, when i come across John Travolta’s 16 year-old son, Jett had died of seizure (May his soul rest in peace), i then remembered to check-out what’s been goin on back home (in Malaysia, especially in Kuching) for the new year celebration, then i thought lets see what kenny has got in his blog..
    Well i must say that my boredom has served me quite an interesting discovery, indeed. i found the “humbled” side of you in this story. Kenny, there’s nothing wrong being emotional. it’s totally ok so long as you don’t overdo it πŸ™‚
    Anyway, here’s what i wanna say to you, tomorrow will be a lot easier if you take the baby steps today… and move on.. trust me.. iv loved and lost.. but better to love and lost than not having it at all. so be bold, be brave, be happy and most importantly, be yourself. it’s time to embrace the beauty of “brokenness” or being alone (IT IS NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS. In fact it is the only moments in your life that you’ll be able to learn and discover the person you are.. you’re a matured and smart guy. I’m sure you can survive this positively..
    M.I.A. (Auckland, NZ)

  206. hey ken,
    i am not your frequent reader, but i like to come in once in a while and read a lot of blogs at once, anyways, this particular blog of yours is a reminiscent of my 2 years relationship which started was about 6-7 years ago, and sad to say, i still have feelings for her, hard to believe? but it’s true, i guess everyone has different type of feelings, but anyways, when i read this blog, i felt how you feel… maybe it was also because of the slow sentimental song i was playing in my computer…
    i know it’s hard to move on, i understand, probably because you don’t want to end something you have half way… and maybe it’s because of the memories still linger around your head…
    thanks for sharing your feelings. All the best in everything and God bless you.

  207. Well, guess you’re not alone. I don’t even know what to do now and I’m in the game for only 4 years or so.

  208. There are always moments we want to cherish and moments where we wish it would JUST go.
    Everything will come to the end eventually. There ain’t living happily ever after. Those live in fairy tales.
    We always have to learn to be single. Learn to be alone and then we will know ourselves better. When we know ourselves better, we will only then get the other half that is more suitable.
    Been into your shoe before. I’m sure you will love your CNY and valentine’s alone.

  209. If it’s difficult then it’s not for you. Moreover, I married when i was 24 but I still get to do the things that i want. We are still happy like we were before we got married. Why? We never labeled what we have as a “relationship” but “friendship”. Furthermore, you are still young. you’ll realize things along the way. Just hold on to the hope that someday you’ll be thankful that you broke up with her. You deserve better. Enjoy!

  210. hey kenny, i had been following your kind of vividly. i still remember that you will not disclose identities of your family and loved one. why now? keep it personal will ya? sometimes it will be best to keep clean for yourself.

  211. i guess ur not alone in this situation.. i spent xmas and new year’s eve alone too… not tht anyone knew tht, except for him. our problem wasn’t about arguments we had or the difference we had.. in fact, we hardly argue.. we jst had to break it off due to certain circumstances. *shrugs*
    i still am figuring out how i can get pass CNY without letting my parents know we’ve broken up.. because i know tht i kenot tell it to my parents without me crying…

  212. Just wait till u r tired of all your current activities and ambitions and settle down a bit before trying for a new relationship. very very limited girl is going to be able to stand and put up with your overschedule lifestyle.

  213. Sorry to hear that Kenny, you both made such a nice couple. Cheer up, You’ll find Ms. Right (not MS Write) and get over this. Happy 2009.
    P.S. Congratulations! You look a lot thinner now, Kenny.

  214. I always had this impression that you’re a rich bastard and a jerk too.
    But then, I don’t know,I mean,who am I to judge.
    so when i read this post I was like oh well, what the heck, you’re human. You experience heartbreaks too like the rest of us.
    So I decided to give you a break.You know, and I am usually never kind.
    But does she know you are writing about her?
    Hey man…. get your act together.
    You are you.
    She is she.
    So it all boils down to one. And only both can make one work.
    I can’t believe I actually bothered to write but sheesh…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *