Things I Can’t Stand About Star Wars

Revenge of the Sith, the final installment in the Star Wars ‘Hex-logy’, will be hitting cinemas worldwide on the 18th May and I simply cannot wait.
I won’t call myself a die-hard Star Wars fan who watched all the movies, read all the novels and played all the games, but I know there are strange people out there who live and breath Star Wars. Personally, I just happen to enjoy all the Star Wars movie released to date, especially its comprehensive and well-weaved storyline that cheekily mimicks historical events in real life.

I also got light sabre. No need to use hand one.

Apart from The Phantom Menace and its introduction of the very annoying Jar Jar Binks, the quality of production of all Star Wars movies is consistently high. In fact, the earlier episodes set a new benchmark in movie production at its time.
Perhaps the only complaint I have about Star Wars movies is George Lucas’ choice of actors. I mean, I have absolutely no complaints having Luke Skywalker played by an ang-moh, or having Jabba the Hutt played by Sammo Hung.
But goddammit, EVERYONE knows that Obiwan Kenobi should be Japanese, Qui-Gon Jinn should be a Chinese, and Padme Amidala from Planet Nabeh should be a bloody Indian! LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING NAMES GEORGE LUCAS!

Qui-Gon Jinn is a Chinese name and therefore I reckon he should be played by a Chinese actor instead

Apart from that, I’m just sick of being bombarded by opportunistic businesses selling products and organizing competitions that have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Star Wars apart from bearing its name. Seriously, every single commercial entity out there is taking a slice off the Star Wars cake and shoving it down our throat.
The worst ones I’ve seen thus far are Celcom’s Star Wars recharge cards, Canon’s Star Words caption contest, JusTea and their Feel The Force contest (whatever that is), and RHB Bank selling their exclusive Star Wars Credit Card. Now why on EARTH (literally) do I need a Star Wars Credit Card for? The whole gimmick is getting ridiculous!
What next? Toilet papers with Jar Jar Binks’ face on it? Malaysia Airlines flying to Planet Nabeh? Limited Edition Light Sabre dildos for the ladies?

WAH! Even Darth Vader uses Canon computer printers!

Another thing I can’t stand is the radio stations promoting the new Star Wars movie. I always have a beef with Chinese radio station presenters not able to pronounce simple English words. In particular there’s this dimwit radio host working for Ai FM who can’t even announce the website address of his station properly. Its really wanita dot net slash radio5, but that idiot keep on pronouncing it wanita dot NEST slash radio5! Its a wonder he still kept his job after so long.
For a guy who pronounces ‘f’ as ‘p’, ‘z’ as ‘j’ and ‘th’ as ‘t’, I thought it is only a matter of time before the stupid radio host screw up and pronounce “Revenge of the Sith” as “Revenge of the SHIT instead.
But nooooooo, that idiot did even better than that. He called it Star Wars Episode III… Revenge of the SIKH!

I just hope they have subtitles to go with this one.

73 Replies to “Things I Can’t Stand About Star Wars”

  1. Kenny, so glad you’re back to your usual self. Take care and thanks for this entry. Why not make full use of your creative mind? Do another lip-reading session on Revenge of the Sikh? ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. hnn.. i woudnt mind watching the revenge of the Sikh.. then it would be proper that Queen Amidala is an Indian..

  3. Quote: ‘What next? Toilet papers with Jar Jar Binks’ face on it? Malaysia Airlines flying to Planet Nabeh? Limited Edition Light Sabre dildos for the ladies? ‘
    OMG this made me laugh. And yes, tell us ’bout mandarin radio stations.. They can never pronounce english properly. I reckon they should at least go through the scripts or whatever before.
    Ah well. Some things never change.

  4. Revenge of the Sikh……really enjoy the pics u photoshopped.
    Im not in m’sia, so have no idea bout the ‘star words’ but its really lame. Think its time to change my canon printer edi….
    Thx for the entry anyway ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. i’m glad to see that you still have your sense of humour… I enjoyed this entry… the part about the mandarin station… hilarious! i get what you mean… LOLz…

  6. don’t find it funny..probably because of your other entry (the one on PMS) really affects your readers now.

  7. I knew you were gonna do that Sikh thing…was thinking of whether any DJ would read it wrongly..tsk tsk..shameful Chinese DJ dude then…

  8. Hey dude, there won’t be any subtitles for the Revenge of the Sikh as the allocated budget was used for the song and dancing scene that randomly happend in the we go, let do it together : “tak toom, tak toom, hai—yai yai yai..lei—–hei hei hei….”

  9. I love Star Wars-related post. People are so creative nowadays.
    On your first pic, you have a very long ‘lightsaber’.. but it’s too thin. Mine is bigger ๐Ÿ˜›

  10. I’m a Sikh and I find your racial jokes offensive. Come up with something original for once!!!
    I came across your weblog two days ago and read your archives. Your weblog just seemed like a clone at first, but now it’s just a ripoff complete with the racist jokes.
    Things I Can’t Stand About KENNYSIA.COM – The racist pasty faced “writer” with the one and only photo of himself that he thinks he looks “cool” in.
    F*ck you and your pale ass!

  11. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ where in the world did he abuse the sikhs? racism is defined as racism
    รขโ‚ฌยข noun 1 the belief that there are characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to each race. 2 discrimination against or antagonism towards other races.
    taken off
    u in all ur righteousness and intelligence did not even read the article properly, where he said that a CHINESE radio presenter mispronounced his words such that it went from revenge of the sith to revenge of the sikh.
    perhaps u owe kenny an apology for ur slowness to comprehend a long article.

  12. sorry forgot to mention properly that in his article, there was no “antagonism” nor “discrimination” that was with any reference to the sikhs, but rather towards that CHINESE radio presenter.
    ya…. geez i click the enter button too soon.

  13. hey u should check out the lego star wars game. it’s quite fun. and u get to use ‘the force’ to build lego stuff. i don’t know about u but i’ve always loved lego so seeing the lego world really made me miss my lego sets. anyhow, back to this game. apparently GamePro magazine said that it’s one game where parents don’t have to worry about excessive violence and rated the game pretty high overall.

  14. Kenny, I tell you, my mother is very *stick one, he won’t let me go to *wash the Revenge of *Sikh in the *meter of the *9 with my *french one.
    *stick = strict
    *wash = watch
    *Sikh = sith
    *meter = middle
    *9 = night
    *french= friends
    Hehehe ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. Thank god Gurtej Singh isn’t Sajit Singh…. probably it will take him 3 days to figure out what is all about.
    Wonder who’s the racist then, with the “F*ck you and your pale ass!” parting shot?
    Gurtej if you want to make an ass of yourself, don’t drag your own race into it.

  16. hahah…eh doc…u always kembang lah whn ppl mention u !
    and yea..he did mentioned CHINESE as well…now i think a whole lot more of us chinese can turn emo all of a suddent?
    im continously getting picked by my frends abt my hokkien..

  17. kenny ah..wont u think its a bit dangerous carrying a light sable in ur pants..i mean wad if u walk pass tun jugah lingeries shop..or we go swimming with the continouse visual..or clubbing wif the continouse rubbing…u might kill somebody …hahah

  18. hahahha I’m someone who “used” to live and breath StarWars. And yes, I’m getting bombarded by “anything-StarWar-related-merchandise” here too. Looking forward to the movie also, but having Yoda stare at me from CocoPops boxes isn’t upping my enthusiasm any.

  19. Great photoshop skills u have. Funny ur post is but cry i promise myself i will not… Offended a Sikh i see u have, May the force be with u!

  20. Gurtej: It’s because of ppl like you that freedom of speech is next to non-existence in M’sia. I showed this entry to a few Sikh friends of mine and they laughed just as loudly (if not louder) than I did. Lighten up, or if you don’t like it, go away. No one’s forcing a gun to your head to read this.

  21. What wood be so long to say it to the best that you can and yak wrong about the pro-nun-sion and grandma. If nothing at all, it simply indicates the pre domino language is Mandarin as it should be in the Chinese radeo station. What sends shiver to my spy is the rampant use of omg and wtf. How did these over-exaggerated assignment and anguish ever slipped into our proud and cultured language? They appeared at every corners of a sentence. There would be a few mandream/mangrish, interleaved with numerous omg, and then few more mandream/mangrish, and punctured with wtf. It is almost as if itรขโ‚ฌโ„ขs the kind of crab you would get walking through the Brooklyn dark and stinky alley where bottles are passed around during the daylong happy hours, while asking for change.
    So Kenny, you are pinyin at the long tree lah!
    By the way, Kenny so far you have shown more tolerance and freedom of expression than the Lees and who is the new guy in Mรขโ‚ฌโ„ขsia combined. If the characters were to be the Lees, both the elder and junior, there would be spanking session in the house without a doubt. But then it could be quite enjoyable *wink-wink*, and is that why you are entertaining the thought of moving to *much-loved* land of spanking, as you have indicated? Anyway, this little cosmos space is the true reflection of our society we are in, some stink and some donรขโ‚ฌโ„ขt. It is as complete as you can get.

  22. Wow, that was funny man! i must respect your creativity…
    Hey Gurtej…get a life -la. I am a sikh as well and i am not at all offended because i have a sense of humour!
    If you can’t take the heat get a cold shower before going on the offensive and cursing ppl, good sikhs don’t do that do they?
    by the way I am sure you laugh when other races are made fun of, right?

  23. Gurtej Singh, my apologies if you find it offensive. But I must admit I honestly do not know what you find deragotory about that picture as I doubt I put down the Sikh culture in any form. I respectfully reject your claim that I’m a racist because I know that I love and celebrate the differences in our culture. Sikhs wear turbans and have names ending with ‘Singh’, just as Chinese like me eat animal intestines and have difficult to pronounce three-syllable names like ‘Sia Tze Foo’. I don’t see there’s anything wrong with that. I would’ve thought that the first person to complain are Chinese radio hosts who can’t pronounce English properly. If you’re genuinely offended by my harmless joke, please forgive me for my sense of humour. Ease up, you must. ๐Ÿ™‚
    bing, I got tickets!
    SY, hahaha… I think there’s enough lip-reading for the time being. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you.
    luci, you tell George Lucas. Heh.
    Jase + annabella + Justina, another thing I hate about chinese radio stations are the lame people who call in for the competitions. I’ve seen vegetables with better personalities than they have.
    Eratter, Star words is just the name of the competition Canon organises. You fill in the best captions for their photos and things like that.
    anonymous, hmmm ok. Still angry over that entry ar? Sorry lor. ๐Ÿ™
    TBG, you GOT to be kidding rite?! You mean there actually ARE light sabre dildos?! Now now, you’ve spoiled the wholesome image I have for Princess Leia. ๐Ÿ™
    Reta, eeks. Getting predictable am I?
    Mike, what?! I’ve infringe on someone else’s patent?!
    Jason, am trying to. Now that I can’t write personal entries anymore, I guess that’s why you don’t see the so-called ‘sadder’ entries on my blog.
    e, HAHAHAHA! A Bollywood production!
    Ash, oh now so you want to compare your light sabre with mine eh? Why don’t we settle it outside with a good ol’ fashion light sabre duel!? WHADDYA SAY TO THAT!?
    sean, err… blue?
    suspiciousbastard, upgrade your computer monitor, you must.
    Darren, Darth Singh is from Planet Calcutta.
    Panda, you pulled the words out of my mouth… err… fingers!
    gracie, hey I actually played that game for a while. I’m a big Lego fan when I was younger but sadly I cannot afford the bigger collection some kids have. Yea its indeed kinda cute. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Kenetix, cow?
    h.liew, that’s because you’ve been a notti girl. ๐Ÿ˜€
    Wingz + Captain Carcinogen + seth.frostheart + Kher Ying + milvoon + crazy + msfeline, *bows*
    DrLiew, now that you’ve mentioned it… Qui-Gon Jinn sounds like the brother of Pei-Yong Jun! Heh. Next we’ll see Star Wars Episode VII: Winter Sonata.
    Mike, who’s Sajit Singh? The only Sajit Singh turned out in Google is a cricketeer!
    GAMBs, haha! if I go swimming with it, I think I’ll be the only one left in the pool.
    JY, what need my hands to activate my light sabre? No need one. I just squeeze my balls together.
    diana, eat CocoPops, you must!
    Aileen, thank you for your comments, i want to. err… that didn’t turn out right.
    SY, its all cool. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Pope, huh? Who are the ‘Lees’ you’re talking about?
    mda, its either my creativity, or my mind going cuckoo thinking about all these silly stuff. Heh. ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. Gurtej you are such a disgrace. I am a sikh and still laugh at bahyi jokes, especially this one. It’s all fun. Loosen up, bro. And rulez!

  25. I don’t see any offensive remarks towards sikhs.. Weird. Like what Panda suggested in the earlier comments, I think someone owes Kenny an apology.

  26. Qui-Gon-Jin could be a korean too. I’m a korean* and i demanaded you to annouce Qui-Gon to be korean.
    Gurtej Singh: thanks for provides more link to more racist jokes, i enjoy insulting other people’s culture and ritual very much.
    *just kidding, i’m a chinese, but who cares?

  27. O, I missed the fun…read your blog just today..anyway, not too sure if you ever heard the hokkien version of Starwars..quite some time already lah..but the whole diagloue was in super chow beng hokkien…where the father and son met and acknowledging each other…very nabeh was actually broadcasted over the radio and made the wave..

  28. didn’t catch the pun, did you? “sajit” is 3 days in hokkien. do i have to spell it out? now Gurtej Singh has every reason to be piss off with me for the derogatory remark!!!

  29. Gurtej, you need to like chill the heck out dude. I’m a Sikh and I’m not sweatin Kenny.
    Because I found the picture to be freaking funny and I THINK HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE CHEERFUL IN LIGHT OF THE LAST 2 WEEKS THAT HE’S HAD! God, don’t you have a heart man? If you wanna be a biatch, go take a long walk off a short bridge.
    Believe me, there are MUCH MORE important things in this world to get worked up about and start swearing at people at, rather than a harmless picture which even other Sikhs found funny. I mean it. And you yourself were leaning towards racists overtones in your comments there, matey!
    Now please go and get some much needed perspective already and don’t forget to grab me a samosa.

  30. To all Singporeans friends, do me a favor and help out our friend here and name all the prime ministers you ever had. There aren’t that many, so don’t make me knock at your door. suspiciousbastard: there’ll some serious spanking if you miss this one.

  31. prime minister ah? all still alive but different title nia.
    lee kuan yew, goh geok tong (i have seen 3 different spellings by now =/ forgive me if i misspelt) and lee hsien long. ya!

  32. Great we could be of some use to Kenny?
    Thanks snoozer and Panda.
    Love the family-oriented “democartic” system and the retiree-friendly government or is it called club or something?

  33. hahahaha.. nice 1 man! u dont know me but i was told by a fren abt this webbie. gd job done on this 1.
    keep it grooving man! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  34. ROTFLOL!! Really funny and amusing! mad am i my mom thinks.
    How do you get your inspiration to write all this funnt blogs most of the time?

  35. LoLoLoLoLoL, that was hillarious ๐Ÿ˜› You made me glad for not having such a kind of campaigns in my country. At least the guy on the TV spells it right, I think ๐Ÿ˜› Well, he actually says “Sit”, lol. Whatever. Anyway, the media here are too busy messing up with the politicians to even notice they could mess up with star wars ๐Ÿ˜› But I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing ๐Ÿ˜›

  36. EVERYONE knows that Obiwan Kenobi should be Japanese
    no, Obiwan should be a Kelantanese. his full name is Wan Obi Wan Kenobi.

  37. i don’t know why i didn’t read this earlier. but thank you for sharing this with..well..all of us. your dad was such a hardworking man! & the fact that you went through the trouble of rememberingthentyping all these memories astounds me. i can safely say that i’m sure your dad, that one great person you had in your life, is extremely proud of you for what you are today. live in the memory of him, okay? & stay afloat.
    p/s: you look a LOT like your dad ๐Ÿ™‚

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