Kimm and Mel

I often lament at the fact that I have a non-existent social life in Kuching.
The eight years I spent living abroad meant that I’ve lost contact with many of my old friends that I was once close to. Eventhough Friendster had helped me get back in touch with some, somehow it just wasn’t the same anymore. I regret not maintaining that friendship when I left for Perth. I regret not keeping in touch with my old friends as I gain new ones. If there’s anyone reading this who is about to go overseas, please do not end up like me.
When I was in Perth, the weekend meant hanging out at Moon Cafe with Jacky, Tiffy and others, or the occasional alcohol excursion to Mustang Bar with Dine and David. Now that I’m in Kuching, the weekend meant staying at home having an intellectual discussion with my bedroom wall.

The Mustang Bar – where the world turns 90 degrees to the left.

Which is why when I heard that Kimm is coming back to Kuching, I’m excited. Excited, not because I finally get to meet her. Excited because Kimm practically knows half of Kuching and hanging out with her means that my social life will easily be revived in no time. Yes she’s my stepping stone like that. 😉 jk, of course.
I’ve mentioned Kimm a couple of times in the past, usually as a subject of my practical jokes. I got to know her through Nicole about 4 years ago and we’ve been talking on and off. Actually ‘talking’ is the wrong word to use because most of the time we’re shooting arrows out of our mouths at each other. But no lah, she’s a nice person really – my long-time friend, short-time blogging buddy, and all-time ‘NUDGE’ function abuser on MSN. Man, I hate it when she nudges me on MSN.

I’m so boring Kimm fell asleep listening to me.

There’s never a dull moment when you have friends like Kimm and her sister Melissa around. Probably because they’re never short of whacky tales to share. Melissa for example, once shared with me this ridiculous but true story. Since she urged me to blog about it, I shall do so.
See, Melissa has (or rather, had) this rather showy friend of hers who one day, for absolutely no reason at all, made a bet with her. The bet was that Showy Friend would lose his weight in 6 months time and if not, he will buy a new phone for her. Melissa, figuring she had nothing to lose, nonchantlantly agreed with him.

Here’s a photo of Melissa and me… yeah, I WISH! My balls shrink when better-looking guys like that are around me. That’s Eric btw.

Fast forward six months later, Melissa got a call from this friend who not only did not lose weight, BUT GAINED WEIGHT INSTEAD. So Melissa asked for her phone. He hesitated. She requested a cheap model. HE SUGGESTED A MORE EXPENSIVE ONE. She requested the expensive model. HE COMPLAINED ITS TOO EXPENSIVE. What the foot?!
In the end, they decided to settle on cash. With his newly acquired credit card, Showy Friend withdrew a large sum of money from the ATM, counted RM700 loudly in front of Melissa and gave her the cash for her to buy herself a brand new Sony Ericsson.

Melissa: “Heh heh heh. Its mine… MINEEEEE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!”

Man, I don’t know whether to laugh at the absurdity of this story, or cry at the fact that stupid people like that exist on this planet.
Kimm wasn’t as fortunate as her sister though.
Kimm: “I’m so screwed. Barely two hours back in Kuching and I put a dent in the car. Funny thing is, I didn’t even drive it to bang it.”
Kenny: “Huh? What happened?”
“Well our gate remote control was broken and the gate would open and close for no reason. My dad asked me to put the remote control in the fridge but I didn’t. So when my dad drove the car in, the gate suddenly closed and kena our car.”
“HUH? Put the gate remote control in the fridge? What?”
“Yalah. ‘Cos the remote control go mad when its hot. Dad asked me to put it in the fridge.”
“WHA…!? And that’s supposed to fix it? Why don’t you put your Dad into the fridge instead?



Despite knowing the two sisters for so long, sometimes I struggle to understand them.
Melissa: “I need to renew my driver’s license.”
Kenny: “You got driver’s license meh?”
Kimm: “I also got driver’s license wat.”
Kenny: “Then how come you don’t drive?”
Kimm & Mel: “YOU ASK MY DAD LAH!”

GAMBs aka KENie aka ‘The other Kenny’ aka ‘The Smaller Kenny’… which means I’m the ‘The Bigger Kenny’. Go figure.

I don’t get it. Kimm and Mel are not the only people I know who own driving licenses but don’t drive at all.
Its a virus-like trend these days.
Kid turns 17. Parent urges kid to get a driver’s license. So, kid goes for driving lessons, kid does the theory test, kid passes all examinations, kid goes home happily with new driver’s license.
Then kid asks permission from parent to drive the car. Fat chance. PARENT BANS KID FROM DRIVING!
Fast forward to 2 years later, kid completely forgotten how to drive. The P-plate license is up for renewal. But guess what? PARENT ASKS KID TO RENEW THE DRIVING LICENSE!
In all seriousness, what the heck? Having a driver’s license but not allowed to drive, is like having an asshole but not allowed to shit.
Man, I don’t understand people these days.

38 Replies to “Kimm and Mel”

  1. I was lucky cos my parents gave me a car to drive as soon as I passed my driving test. But I crashed it 5 times in the first 5 months though. 🙂

  2. oi.. didn’t know u were out of blogging ideas and needed to use us.
    Pay UP. =D
    and you you you… wait til i bring my camera along, i’ll show the world what ur coconuts are really made of – zhen zu!

  3. wow….looks like u guys had fun 🙂 hrmm….i had to get my parents to trust me with the car after 1 year of having my license….so not dat uncommon…hehhe

  4. i have loads of frens who have licences but hardly drive cars. sighs. some dont even wanna drive at all.wats de point of having license anwyay? driving is fun. cruising around town and hit de speed. wahhhhhh. now i wanna learn how to fly a place..hmmm..

  5. my mom owns driving license since 20 yrs ago but she never drive and just renew it when it’s gonna expire. she’s not the only one in my family.. my aunt and uncle are also like this… ^^;;;

  6. quote “In all seriousness, what the heck? Having a driver’s license but not allowed to drive, is like having an asshole but not allowed to shit.
    Man, I don’t understand people these days.”
    exactly Ken… exactly.. ~

  7. omg, can i have a free phone too… wth… nice friend.. or just wana show off he got new credit card or something? -.-” *confused*
    anyways, at least they got excuse la, if they ever drive, that since they havent drive from the time that they got the license, they forgot how to already. my mum leh, drive for about 30 years already…. still drive horribly =/ last week kena summon. T_T sigh…

  8. My driving experience in Kuching is bad. There are many drivers drive without common sense. That’s why a lot of small accidents happened. So these people who own license but didn’t drive,… imagine when they did drive… Driving is a skill, it needs practice.

  9. errrr for me, it is my fiance.
    he doesnt like me to drive errrr prefer to drive me home from where i am?
    actually i quite like driving
    so come sundays, i sneak the car out 🙂

  10. My parents let me drive immediately after I got my license but they were very clever – they let me drive an old beat-up corolla that was going to be scrapped in less than a year. =D Ahhh… such fond memories of the abuse it further suffered under my hands.

  11. I didn’t drive like 2yrs after I got my license, not even when we rent cars regularly that time cos’ I prefer being driven around.
    My family got a car last year & I have no excuse not to drive.
    Anyway, 2 days ago, I banged into another car and my car miraculously survived w/o any scratches. So I kept it from everyone except my friend who’s gonna lend me the $$$ to pay the other car owner. I vow to keep this incident from my family FOREVER.

  12. oi.. didn’t know u were out of blogging ideas and needed to use us.
    Pay UP. =D
    and you you you… wait til i bring my camera along, i’ll show the world what ur coconuts are really made of – zhen zu!
    Commented by: kimm at May 16, 2005 11:50 PM
    ** Wahhhh, I can’t believe you have these pictures of kenny…hmmm… what have you guyz did ??? hehe !!

  13. My memories of driving in Kuching is… I hate the ROUNDABOUTS!! Kuching-ites do not give way!! But yeah, a lot of parents are over protective… some examples:
    “Why do you need to drive when, mum or dad can still drive you around?”
    “Eh, your friend got his/her license how long already? You sure safe or not?”
    “Ask your uncle/aunty to drop you off!”

    When I had my license, I just took the car (a pajero) out hehe… and got scolded… quoting what they say “You don’t have enough experience, don’t go out yourself.”

    Well, the thing was I didn’t really take much driving lessons back then (kiamsiap). So my mum was actually concerned, so after a few drives in a few weeks, she was more confident about my driving, albeit still concerned of course as all parents do. But yeah, let your parents observe how you drive first, if you have mad skillz, they will be alrite.

    Well, that’s unless your parents are crazy drivers… hmm… go and learn some defensive driving.

  14. yes kim does know the whole kch. hmm maybe i need her contacts too when i go back heh heh …
    u can go clubbing at err khatu? hmm the last time i went there it was full of ermm pondans

  15. Is that Kenny with the blonde hair???? He he he he.. That is some funny stuff. Show us some more pictures from whe you were ‘young and wild’!! Or just bleach your hair again. It would make for a blog worthy experience. He he he.. still laughing at the hair.

  16. Banning doesn’t necessarily stop the child from driving…
    Oh and the ‘put the remote in the fridge’…. does that actually work? lol

  17. i have a driver license, allowed to drive, but no car to drive 🙁
    so it’s like “have an asshole, allowed to shit, but no toilet bowl to shit” 🙁

  18. HOR HOR! I miss Cicak and Kim! OH YA! KENIE ALSO! HOR HOR HOR! But I won’t be going back in June! DAMN! 🙁

  19. Be glad there’s a time lapse on the nudge thing, or you’d get it twice every second or so.
    That being said, DAMN I’d love to get 700 that way. Quick, someone hand me a flashy fool!

  20. Avi, THAT IS NOT ME WITH THE BLONDE HAIR! That’s a friend of mine, David.
    FF, eeks! What happened?
    Kimm, so how much do you charge, lady? 😀
    Justina, its alright. I totally smashed a car 2 months after getting my P-plater’s. 😐 It wasn’t that bad, but my victim’s car was brand new.
    ThunderFoxy, when you have license but you don’t wanna drive at all. That’s a totally different story.
    Blu3qu3en, donating money to JPJ ar?
    Hanz, exactly.
    Panda, first you have to find a stupid friend.
    blackwidow, yeah come to think about it. The less people on the road, the less idiots we encounter.
    vivian, maybe your fiance drives you so you don’t get to sneak out. heh.
    gracie, HAHAHAAHA! You car-abuser, you!
    ct, now I have something to blackmail you. heh.
    asSPee, eh eh eh… no dirty talking here!
    Chung, tell me about Kuching’s roundabouts! Especially the one in 3rd mile. Man, that’s a monster round-about with flyovers and shit!
    Chrissie, you dun say say lah! You also know half of kch watttttt
    barffie, dun complain, you got MRT. Damn nice. Can bio people.
    GAMBs, when we’re talking about sizes…. 🙂
    Ken, that kimm’s dad’s theory.
    Eratter, HEH! You said it!
    Selina, dun lie lie. You miss the food here more.
    Lyon, *grins*
    NSDS3, I always have a fear driving on swampy ulu-ulu roads around Sarawak.
    Lainie, you don’t attrack fools like that. You just attract stalkers who want your phone number. How sad. 🙂
    TBG, whaa.. you mean you were in Perth too?! I didn’t know that!


  22. Erm, it’s not very nice, your reference to putting Kimm’s dad into the fridge. Morgue – fridge? Not nice at all. Although I understand your intention wasn’t malicious.

  23. a certain someone who wished to remain anonymous (ah..i wonder why) has trouble deciphering what you’ve written here, darling. some people just can *never* understand a joke.

  24. Kuching….not a cool place to live in…
    work…work..and working all the time..
    theres no social activity at night cause the city sleeps earlier than the kids do…all things here are meant for working…and not clubbing, shopping or concerts…doesn’t suit it’s standard as a city at all!!!No entertainment and everything is dulllll….!!!!

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