Susan Boy

The party last Saturday night was a total hoot.

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Like all Nuffnang parties, there’s always a theme to go with it and all guests are expected to comply. This time the dress code was “Standout”, inspired after Tiger’s new bottle designs.

It’s pretty much open to interpretation what the term “standout” as a dress code implies, and true enough everyone who came to the party dressed differently.

Some came in their typical Saturday night outfit.

 Photo courtesy of ShaolinPhoto.com

Others put in a lot of effort to look like a farm animal.

Photo courtesy of ShaolinPhoto.com 

Me? I came as the best standout performer in this year’s Britain’s Got Talent.

 

 

I came as… Susan Boyle.

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Strangely, I reckon I looked more like Albert Einstein in drag.

It was the first time I wore a dress out in public. One thing I noticed is that people treat me differently in a dress. Everyone I talked to seem to particularly enjoy fondling my manboobs.

Seriously, I lost count at the number of times I was molested by guys and girls alike.

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The best part was when this girl poked my chest and asked, “Eh you got stuff something inside ah? Why your neh neh so big one?”

“No babe, that’s my actual man boobs.”

“Oh sorry sorry!”

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At one point in the evening, Liang and Jojo Struys called me up on stage. I was to be nominated as one of the finalists for the “Standout King & Queen” awards.

The Cow and Edward Scissorshand were the other two male nominees. As part of the routine, each of us had to perform something based on what we’re dressed as. So if you’re dressed as a belly-dancer, all you gotta do is belly-dance.

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I smirked to myself. This is easy. How difficult is it imitate Susan Boyle singing?

By the time my turn came to face the crowd, I was holding the microphone ready to sing “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables.

Kenny: Do you want to hear me sing?
Crowd: NO!!!
Kenny: No? Then what do you expect me to do?!
Crowd: FLASH!!!
Kenny: What?
Crowd: FLASH!!! SHOW US YOUR PUSSY!!!
Kenny: Hey! I’m a 47-year-old woman!

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The crowd would have none of it. I thought long and hard about whether or not to keep my dignity, or give the crowd what they want and let them go home happy.

Times like these I think to myself, “What would Susan Boyle do?”

Would Susan Boyle leave her fans hanging? Of course not.

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So I climbed on top of a table, danced a little.

And when the time is right, I turned around and…

 

Photo courtesy of simonseow.blogspot.com

Flashed them my p#^&*%.

Korean boy singing “Tuts My Barreh”, by Mariah Carey.

Youtube gold!

104 Replies to “Susan Boy”

  1. I can see the pictures after few trials…. =__=”
    How good if the “hairy” things sticks to your XXXXX down there for the whole night..
    Then the XBOX is yours!

  2. lol, kenny.. you’re the man! maybe one day, you can perform during national day, if you sing…!

  3. I wanted to take a picture of u too but everyone was busy taking picture and flash went off everywhere that all I can capture was the flash lights, not you flashing.

  4. hahaha… really Susan Boyle!!! lol
    i can’t stop laughing at your new look as Susan Boyle!! hahaha.. did you know she got admitted into hospital straight after the Britain’s Got Talent finale?? lol

  5. I think I cannot sleep for at least another half hour after laughing like mad. Wrong time to read your blog lar seriously, just before I go to bed. 🙁
    -_- you look like BIG MOMMA!

  6. so this is your first time wearing a dress in public? does this mean you wear dress in your house, too? HAHAHA.
    looks like you guys had a lot of fun. heh.

  7. You could have at least put a little bit more efforts into looking like Susan Boyle if you’d wanted to dress up as her so badly.
    You do look like Einstein in drag.

  8. OMFG that is so hilarious!!! We should start some kind of show featuring this kind of ‘talent’!
    As for the handful of ‘self righteous twats’ that found this distasteful, please do humanity a favor and go jump off a cliff.

  9. OMFG.[lmao]
    I can;t stop laughing..for the pussy thingy..it;s so “hairy” like sheep’s fur..aahaha…thanks for making my day after a big taufan had happened on me… 🙂

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