I noticed on my most recent trip to Singapore that there seems to be a lot of mainland Chinese on that little island state lately.
Nothing against them of course. But I do find it fascinating that so many of them mainland Chinese can be found at virtually all levels of society in Singapore: in coffeeshops taking orders for your drinks, in universities studying for their exams, or even in a luxury condo after marrying some rich Singaporean tycoon.
Like what Chinese-turned-Singaporean actress Gong Li did.
It is very different from the situation here Kuching, where the only place you can find Chinese nationals, is in a foot reflexology!
Having so many of them living and working in Singapore also brought about some… unintended side-effects.
I went to an authentic Chinese restaurant the other day hoping to sample some authentic Si Chuan dishes. What I found there instead, was something much more exciting.
Behold, a Singapore Chinese restaurant menuâ€¦ in Chinese and Engrish!
Who wouldâ€™ve thought you could find Engrish in post Speak Good English Campaign Singapore?
Apparently, you can. Over in this PRC-operated restaurant, you can sample such famous dishes as:
Char Siew Pau.
Western lettuce. Runs on petrol!
Sourced from monolithic cow.
Sometimes, their menu even doubles as a weather report.
Eat your maâ€™s tofu!
Someone call the fire brigade!
Oi! Donâ€™t rape the onions! They will cry.
It is not offence in Singapore to have sex with vegetables.
Theyâ€™ll tie the mushroom down on a bed, collect S$7.80 from you, then let you perform various sexual acts the mushroom.
The diced chicken community is not happy.
Then thereâ€™s my personal favourite.
They take a joss stick, stick it up the cowâ€™s ass, and call it â€œJoss Stick Porn.â€
All together now… WTF?!
Is it just me or did everyone else notice that a lot of songs on the radio by top female artists these days are all about bashing guys. Example: Beyonce – If I Were A Boy, Rihanna – Take A Bow, Britney Spears – Womanizer.
And what are the top male artists singing? About how sad they are after having their hearts broken by girls. Example: Backstreet Boys – Inconsolable, Kanye West – Heartless, Akon – I Want You Right Now (Na Na Na Na).
Man, us guys are such wimps these days.