ADV: If I Had An Absolute Extreme Life

I would be a Viet Cong soldier.

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At least that was the impression I get after watching a Vietnam War propaganda video during my visit to Cu Chi, a war site located near Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam.

The black-and-white video, filmed just after the war, nearly had me convinced that I should learn to be like that valiant 12-year-old peasant girl who fought for her country, killed 118 "devil" Americans and was declared "American Killer Hero" (their words, not mine) by her communist government.

A couple of Americans in our tour group were flinching uncomfortably after watching the video. Clearly they’d think twice when approached by a deadly 12-year-old Vietnamese girl next time.

Of course, the Vietnam War has long past, the Cold War has warmed up, the animosity between the Vietnamese and Americans have long ceased, but this war between the Americans and the communists remained one of the most fascinating in history.

How is it possible that the Americans, with their superior war planes and technology, lost out to a bunch of communist Viet Congs who probably never handled a gun before their entire lives?

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The answer lies underground in Cu Chi, a Viet Cong village 90km away from the anti-communist stronghold of Saigon.

Cu Chi is pronounced "koo chi". Yes, the Hokkien word for "tickle" is also called "koo chi".

But these stealthy underground tunnels beneath Cu Chi ain’t no laughing matter!

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As the Americans bombed the surface with their napalm bombs and B-52s, hundreds of Viet Cong soldiers were secretly hiding underground, emerging only during night time to launch surprise attacks on their enemies.

They lived in there, sometimes up to months at a time. The tunnels were so well-equipped that there were even sleeping chambers, kitchens and hospitals for the Viet Cong soldiers.

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Of course, the Americans trained soldiers as their "tunnel rats" and attempted the infiltrate the tunnels.

But when they entered, they risked having their sorry faces smashed right into one of these.

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So successful were the Cu Chi Tunnels that eventually that Americans retreated.

Ho Chi Minh’s communist government took over Vietnam and ruled till today. Meanwhile, Cu Chi became a tourist site charging visitors USD6 + VND80,000 (or RM36 total) per entrance.

There’s a firing range at the Cu Chi Tunnels, where they let visitors try their hands on some real guns used by Viet Cong soldiers during the war. A round of ten bullets cost about USD10 (RM36).

It’s a little expensive, but these are real guns, using real bullets.

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Considering this was probably the only chance I’m gonna get, I simply could not pass up on the opportunity to fulfil one of my male fantasies.

After years of playing games like Counterstrike, I finally had the chance to fire the real version of my favourite weapon, the AK47.

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Videos games are fun, but nothing beats holding on to the real thing. I was imagining a terrorist leaping across in front of me as I pulled the trigger.

"Enemy sighted!"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

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"Counter-terrorist wins!"

Such a cool and satisfying experience. It was exactly like Counterstrike.

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But with much better graphics.

This one is a M60 machine gun. It had a much stronger recoil and damn, it was loud! Without the ear muffs on, the deafening ringing effect in my ears could last for a few seconds after each shot.

Imagine how the Viet Congs have to endure all these back in the days. No one wonder so many of them went crazy.

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After having our fun at the firing range, we had the chance to explore a section of the underground tunnel.

Getting into the hole was no problem for me – the tunnel had already been enlarged to accommodate much bigger (read: fatter) Western tourists.

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But crawling through the tunnel… now that’s definitely an experience.

The tunnel, even after enlarging was still extremely small. We spent 10 minutes wriggling and manoeuvring through a 100m section and already we’re sweating like pigs.

I shudder to think how it was even possible that the anyone could tolerate living underground during war time.

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The Viet Congs were living under absolute extreme conditions.

There may be a kitchen and a well, but there were definitely no shower or toilets in the tunnels. To top it off, air ventilation underground was dismal at best. The stench of 800 sweaty men must have been unbearable.

Next to deadly enemy fire, the main c
oncern for Viet Congs must’ve have been deadly body odour. Times like these, they gotta wish they had…

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Rexona Men Absolute Protection deodorant.

The latest most powerful deodorant from Rexona Men ever!

I mean, just check out its product description on the back.

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"New Rexona Men Absolute Protection with its new improved formula is designed to react within 1.8 seconds to release more than 1.4 million microcapsules of odor protection for any increase in body heat or adrenaline. Rexona Men Absolute Protection, the most advanced and powerful Rexona men deodorant ever! It won’t let you down."

Wow. Sounds extremely extreme.

I think they must have left out the part where it says it will MAKE YOU FLY THROUGH THE AIR AND SHOOT MISSLES OUT FROM YOUR NOSE.

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No doubt, the deodorant smells pretty good.  

Some say they love the smell of napalm in the morning.

But surely, "napalm in the morning" cannot possibly smell better than my fresh and dry armpits.

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This, smells like… victory!

P/S. Join the Rexona Absolute Extreme blog contest. There aren’t many entries received yet, so the chances of winning are very high.

Blog Plug of the Day: antithesis2.net is a collaborative blog by two similar, yet somewhat different girls.

Elaine is 22, works in PR, loves a good party, and once wrote a Kau Lui guide so insightful that I kept going back and referring to it. Jenny is also 23, works in finance, loves a good sales, and is married with one kid. She’s also a new age modern woman who prefers a functional wedding ring over a huge expensive one.

A bimbo blog, this is not. What sets antithesis2.net apart from the rest is their smart, quirky anecdotes on their everyday life. Chicks with brains, I like.

79 Replies to “ADV: If I Had An Absolute Extreme Life”

  1. I went to the N.S Korea border and they had tunnels just like that too but much bigger, could almost stand upright.
    seems like there’s similar war plans going on….

  2. Penang has its own war museum, but is not creative as the vietcong running the venue like Cu Chi Tunnel, Cu Chi is “must see” to all first time tourist to HCM, whereas Penang has a lot more to learn from the Viets!
    Kenny, you should visit The Penang War Museum and show the world our version of Cu Chi Tunnel!

  3. Hey Kenny! Thanks for the plug 🙂 Made my day! God…can’t imagine being Vietcong and going through those tunnels day and night. I heard the average Vietcong was tiny, as well…thin and tiny, so they probably didn’t have as hard a time as you did.

  4. Nivea Aqua COOL is definitely better than rexona!!
    btw they sponsor u to travel to vietnam to make this advert?

  5. I went into the Cu Chi tunnel twice and the first time I thought I was gonna die from suffocation and never emerge again. Then there would be bands of nurses trying to drag my lifeless body out of the miserable hole wtf.
    I was also the only one saboed to go into the hole with the cover in my tour group cause I was the smallest in size and I was struggling endlessly because my feet couldn’t even touch the ground below.
    Safe to say I never want to go back again haha =.=

  6. If you think it’s bad now, try imagining lots of people shitting and peeing down there…
    Why do people willingly endure such intolerable conditions? Simple principle, even my mother (seriously) understands: when your country is invaded, you fight to the death. To hell with technological inferiority. Yet Americans can never learn this simple lesson, and so they go into war with Iraq with plans to do the same with Iran. Stupid.
    (I use Speed Stick gel)

  7. nice write up! great association with the deodorant! lol
    the prizes for the absolute extreme blog competition sounds tempting – but i’m not gonna blog anytime soon. =)

  8. …Meanwhile, Cu Chi became a tourist site charging visitors USD6 + VND80,000 (or RM36 total) per entrance….A round of ten bullets cost about USD10 (RM36). -Kenny.
    —————————————
    There’s pretty heavy fees to pay to visit Cu Chi Tunnel.
    Probably the experience is worthwhile, especially one can play Counterstrike in REAL.
    🙂

  9. Err..Kenny..now that’s u’ve changed Elaine’s age to 22, you can’t say Jenny is “ALSO” 23. That’s gotta go

  10. WTF. I was left alone to crawl in the tunnel when i was still 9 years old. Of course, it was the short and wide ones only.hahahah. OMG!! i really like the Counter Strike HUD, how did you do it??

  11. the main reason aint the tunnels.. even cpm has tunnels that linked all the way to betong, thailand… and today those tunnels are open as visitor attractions too.
    americans lost because they were high on opium.. they were introduced to it by the viets and they were addicted to it hence cudnt focus on the war..

  12. Hello Kenny, please don’t start the new year with war-related blogs; hope to see more heart-lightening blogs from the one-and-only Kuching blogger!

  13. fuck u lar cibai kenny, i don know wat the fuck u are doing, do u know ur face sucks, oily like a fat pig, stop taking the war as an advantage to make those lame jokes!!!u better stop blogging mutherfucker!!!!

  14. Your blogging style is really hilarious! I enjoyed reading your blog. It was informative and historical and humorous plus not to mention with a purpose—you were advertising Rexona (sneaky, sneaky!)
    But seriously, great stuff here man!
    Keep up the good work!

  15. Hahahaha..!! I went there before I visited the same place before and I took the same photos as many of yours!
    But I can’t believe Kenny you “screwed” yourself into that tunnel, and, you wasn’t just stuck in there!! lol
    (well, I didn’t dare to get into there, although I guess I’m far slimmer than you :P)
    Well anyway, creative ads!

  16. I guess it’s weird having a girl write about how she finds Rexona Men Absolute Protection Deodrant useful 😛 else I would’ve cooked something up and participate!
    Wooo~ drifting course!

  17. kenny,
    what happened to ur RSS feed? it’s not working for ur latest posts after “Kennysia.com is Closed”
    I’m using the RSS feeder to get the updates and was wondering why your site is closed for so long until I decided to surf in manually…
    Cheers,
    HWD

  18. Dude, that little girl only had grenades and rifles, and from the video, she only fought for 8 days.
    How da fuk did she take out 118 soldiers !?? Dayumn.. even Simo Hayha with his Mosin Nagant rifle wasn’t that good.
    Epic post BTW, awesome read. 😀

  19. Great blog. Love the way you introduce the product. I went to Vietnam last year but didn’t go to the Cu Chi tunnel as my colleague told me its boring. However it seems pretty fun as feature in your blog. Hmm… I should have go the next time if I’m visiting Vietnam again.

  20. Heed what your friend says Kenny, alignment of the Mag affects whether the shell fits exact, if it’s off a back-fire could occur and tear off half your face.
    Always grip bottom of barrel casing in front of the mag, the barrel could get very hot.

  21. Your plug to the ladies website has resulted in a bandwidth exceeded. LOL!
    Rexona kinda leaves that sticky feeling after a while. Don’t really like it.

  22. haiya..wah now make a lot of money hor.. everytime oso promo things.. ur articles not genuine la nowdays always got some agenda lor(sure promote some product)..
    hmm … anyway hope u get rich soon..
    by the way ur last post was not nice.. ppl dying and the plight of their sufferings shoud not be turn into a joke…
    but nvm wat is impotant is that u r rich rite:)

  23. hey kenny, antithesis has exceeded its bandwidth! that actually shows the pwoer of advertising on ur blog eh…? and i do think that both elaine and jenny are extremely witty and funny in their blog posts… maybe u can sponsor their bandwidth expansion? hehs. (i read their blog b4 the bandwidth exceeded so yea lol…)

  24. hey, the “viet congs” has no “s”, it’s already a plural term. i learned it from “tropic thunder” hehe!!

  25. Very nice. However, the M60 LMG was not used by the VC. The war in Vietnam was caued by the Pacific Operations which resulted in the aftermath of WW2. The Vietnamese people were exposed to communism. At that time, the Japs were conquering Asia(excluding Thailand). In addition to the Vietnamese war, The Cold War that involved the United States of America and Russia. The Russians also played a part in the war in Vietnam. The were the ones whom persuaded the VC to rebel against the United States of America.

  26. Oh no not another Advertisement disguised by Kenny Sia Blog to earn more money for Kenny? Is this what blogging is about? Remind me not to use Rexona

  27. Dude you don’t get it, do you?
    Most of the people blogging here will never use Rexona. As long as the myth persists, Rexona or any advertiser will keep on paying guys like Kenny to make money of readers like us .. Duh !

  28. Hmmm… I am not sure what you meant by “disguised”.
    The title of this entry is clearly labeled “ADV”, meaning it is an advertorial, meaning that yes I do earn money from this entry, but I am declaring it. If I want to disguise it, I wouldn’t even have labelled it as such.
    If you do not want to use Rexona that’s your choice. If you don’t like advertising on blogs, you don’t have to come back here anymore. One thing I’m sure of is that I’m not gonna give up advertising 100%. Next week, I’m gonna publish one advertorial, Next month I’ll be publishing two advertorials and the following month I’ll publish another two advertorials. Feel free to watch TVs and read newspapers instead because apparently you’re happy to accept ads on TVs, newspapers and radios but not on blogs.

  29. Kenny Sia doesn’t make money off readers like you (do you pay money to read this blog?). He makes money off companies who wish to reach out to blog readers.
    If you object to it, then stop coming back here – simple as that.
    duh.

  30. YOU dont get it, do you?
    it seems to me that youre the only one here who is against Rexona and advertisements, so dont say “Most of the readers here”
    You can CHOOSE not to buy the products kenny advertises, so stop saying Kenny’s making money out of us because we paid him nothing.
    “Remind me not to use Rexona”. You need Chlorets instead. Your mouth stinks.

  31. I’m not sure if you did it on purpose for jokes or it’s really a mistake. I think your header should read 祝大家年年有余。

  32. lol!! bt once u stop usin rexona ur body odour wil go stronger so i stopeed & chg2nivea..rexona is gd bt u musnt stop cz i noe i smell like hokkien mee if i lazy2apply 1 day..

  33. While my friends were sweating just like you in the tunnels, I was enjoying my Tiger beers under the shady trees.
    Good question! How the hell did Americans lose the war? Now we all know, brains versus brawn!

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