Preparing For 42km

Look at me.

I am not built to run a marathon.
I never denied the fact that I’m overweight. I am fat. People teased me about it all the time.
It comes to a point where I’ve learnt to accept the fact that I have a different set of genes from others. Sure, I’ve tried the usual dieting and exercising routine.
It works to a certain extent, but I’ve never gotten my body down to the point where it can be considered “slim” by society’s standards.

When Eddie challenged me to sign up for the 42km KL International Marathon, my immediate instinct was to turn down his offer and check him into the nearest mental hospital.
It’s 42km, Kenny. Not 4.2km, but FORTY-TWO FREAKING KILOMETRES.
That’s like the distance from Kuching to Serian. From KL City to KLIA. From Boon Lay to Pasir Ris along the whole damn East-West MRT Line.
No chance in HELL would I be able to finish that race.

I don’t know why I chose to accept the challenge.
Must be my ego. Maybe I’m inspired by people much older than me joining the marathon. Or maybe I figured I would never know if I never tried.

Regardless, I am grateful to experienced marathoners Eddie and Francis for their invaluable tips, as well as the hundred over commenters who had given me words of encouragement.
Special thanks to my sponsors who made this trip financially possible.

I arrived KL on the eve of the marathon. My friend and celebrity wedding photographer Kid Chan was generous enough to pick me up from KL Sentral to collect my timing chip and number.

I am A0120. Hurry and get your 4D tickets now! πŸ˜€

Before heading back to the hotel, I stocked up on more nutritious food I needed for the race: yoghurt drink, bananas, and something called PowerGel.

PowerGel is some weird-ass endurance food in disgusting slimy/gooey format that marathoners seem to like. It’s highly concentrated in electrolytes and it tastes absolutely horrible. The best way to describe the taste of PowerGel is “caramel-coated diarrhoea”.
It looks like shit, feels like shit, tastes like shit.
Here’s what I did in the days leading up to the marathon.
Training

I had only 2 weeks of serious training. Most people spend months or even up to a year training for their first marathon. Every day after work, I “walked” between 30 mins to an hour. That’s peanuts compared to the real thing.
Eat

I did what’s termed “carbo-loading”. A week before the marathon, all I had for lunch and dinner was pasta, pasta, pasta. For endurance athletes, carbohydates is the human body’s preferred source of energy. It makes perfect sense to load up on the carbs before a big race, like Malaysians loading up their petrol tank before the 30c price increase.
Shave

Hair causes friction, and friction causes bleeding. Before the race, I had to shave off my armpit hair and yes, even my pubes down there.
I feel like I’m 7 years old all over again.
Music

I compiled a whole 8 hour playlist on my iPod consisting of a mix of upbeat music like Rock, House, and Hip Hop. None of those angry Eminem songs though – I don’t wanna punch the other contestants during the race.
There’s some great “pick-me-up” songs on the list, like:

  • Nelly – Shake Ya Tailfeather
  • Jay Chou – Huo Yuan Jia [“Huo huo huo huo huo huo huo huo”]
  • Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On

Sleep

That’s the only thing I could not get enough of. By right I should be getting 8 hours of sleep, but whatever I do I just could not adjust my sleeping pattern to wake up at 5am.

The night before the race I only had 4 hours. I did make it to the starting point in time, only with sleepy eyes, and mouth still yawning. That is NOT what you want to do before you’re about to take part in a 42km race.
That’s the reason I felt my preparation wasn’t adequate.

How did the race go? Did I make it? Did I finish all 42km or did I buckle and collapse halfway through?
Well, I’m not gonna talk about the marathon today. Tune in tomorrow for the exciting sequel on kennysia.com. πŸ˜‰


Headaches. Dreary eyes. Constant sneezing.
I have fallen sick. πŸ™

126 Replies to “Preparing For 42km”

  1. lol kenny sia! this is my first comment i’m posting (i’m quite new here). anyway it doesnt matter if u completed it or not, u’re still hot!

  2. If you are serious about dieting, email me. i have gone down 6 kilos in 2 weeks and with the exercise you are doing, could be more..cheap some more

  3. aww, comeon!! where got ppl lidat 1?! KNNCCB!! wait so long already, all ppl so supportive still dont wana tell use how are u going!? angry liao! Y TREAT US LIDAT! WHY!? WHY SO CRUEL! i’m hungry too…

  4. damnit Kenny! You sure know how to dangle the carrot in front of the bunny!:(
    The night before the race, I was at my friend’s party and all of us were wondering if you could complete the race. LOL. We were all so worried for you. See Kenny, you’ve caused excitement nationwide.

  5. haha top 20! haha i dun even think you finished it… i was looking at ur tagboard a while ago… so where did you stop? Halfway line? But marathon is very challenging, its where the body is detached from the mind, and the mind is willing yourslef to carry on. Its not something that can be trained in matters of weeks. jia you next tym lor!

  6. Evil Evil Kenny!
    I keep checking your blog since yesterday night for the result, now somemore I have to wait until tomorrow.
    Woh!
    Terrigible!

  7. I checked the official results and found out that you didnt manage to finish it within the allowed time.
    So 1 option is out.. its now either
    A) Finished outside the allowed time
    or
    B) Gave up and went back to hotel for the deserved rest

  8. HELLO KENNY SIA! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE OF ITCH BECAUSE YOU SHAVED BECAUSE IT WILL CAUSE INGROWN HAIRS (DOWN THERE ESP) AND WILL BE FUCKING PAINFUL WHEN IT GROWS. TRUST ME! WE GIRLS KNOW IT! HANDS STUCK IN POCKET FOR A WEEK I GUESS

  9. wah lau i blardy hate you, for making me so nervous for you. you know how MY marathon went, i don’t wish the same for you yeah? seeing how calmly you speak of the sequel, i’m assuming you finished. in some mediocre timing, so you have to go back and plot a more exciting way to announce your results? YOU COME BACK HERE AND JUST SAY IT LIKE A MAN, BUDDY!

  10. oi ur feet ok ald?no bad leh the masseuse?
    next time we go for the full body massage ahahahah
    massage ur weak kotek!

  11. I coudn’t stop laughing when I read that one of the songs you put on your Ipod was Celine Dion : My Heart Will Go On…..

  12. Your forte is your upper body, not your legs.
    the thing about the marathon was the stamina, not energy or carbo whatever.
    you can forget about the whole marathon if you do not have the stamina. all those carbo and shit-tasting-liquid thingy is just xin1 li3 zhuo4 yong4.

  13. knn… feels so cheated… read, read, and read… then see “to be continued”
    anyway, just curious… how you know how shit tastes like, huh…?! hmmm… i dare not imagine. lol…
    shaving down there does not help unless u planned to run nekkid la… πŸ˜›
    still, waiting to see how your marathon session went. at least u did try out. me…? too chicken (lazy, actually) to even bother to sign up.

  14. [I have posted this here so you can read it]
    Hey Kenny,
    I have enjoyed your entries until i read the one about Tammy. Blogging about the girl and all is alright except you may have tried to inject your humor abit too far.
    How can you place a half nude picture as the backdrop of the NYP website even though its just a picture? It would serve to imply that NYP allows such pictures openly. Besides, you also mentioned that the school is thinking of expelling her. What age are you living in now Kenny? The school has never, i repeat, never thought of expelling her. She is just a poor girl caught doing something foolish on her mobile.
    Enough of the girl, but don’t bring the school down along with it. The school is counselling her and making she sure she gets through her exams.
    For once, don’t try to defend yourself again and again by comments such as “I post one eye only leh”. So? It doesn’t move away from the fact.
    I am not the only one dissapointed to see the ad of the school you have made. Please remove it.
    Hope i won’t see such content on your site again.

  15. Kenny, if the run didnt make you slim, you might want to consider racing the F1,
    According to the malay kid (the TV ad), you could loose 2 kg in 1 race. (?)
    Well Im sure you did well.

  16. Hi Kenny
    I am totally agreed with Dude. Kenny, frankly, please think about it.. we are serious about it. Pls remove the blog…
    Regards

  17. “Well, I’m not gonna talk about the marathon today. Tune in tomorrow for the exciting sequel on kennysia.com. ;)”
    SUCH a teaser you naughty sexaaay-pits !!

  18. I can’t believe you shaved your armpits and ‘down there’!! That is soooo going to be uncomfy later on!! hahahah but kudos to you for being a man about this marathon thing.
    only someone with coconut testicles would sign up for a 42km run!
    cant wait for the next post

  19. NOO!!
    You are a horrible person for making us wait like this. A very horrible person.
    But we still love you.
    πŸ™‚

  20. I hope one day when u r about to ejaculate suddenly ur hand muscle got crammed. Sial lu.

  21. We can see that kenny is still well and alive and able to blog after the race. AMAZING !!
    My heart will go on… that is just so wrong.. so wrong…

  22. u see? everyone so nervous cos they r worried for u n u still make ppl wait like tat. how could u? but as for me, i’d just sit back n relax and wait til u wanna giv the result. watever it is, at least u had the courage to go for the race.

  23. u stoopid ass! the armpit hair is there to reduce friction!
    Now that u r hairless there, u’ll get it….abrasion and probably a BAD case of fungus infection after that!

  24. Well, it could be that he didn’t make the cutoff time, but somehow still made it to the end on foot but much later.
    On the other hand, you cannot take the whole day, since they re-open the roads after 12. By then, they’d usually send out a sweeper bus to pick up all the stragglers still left in the wake of the race.

  25. how u knoe if kennys real name is kenny sia? Maybe he is using a pseudonym??
    Anyways at least he tried…And he rocks for that!

  26. Of course you didn’t make it with that kind of “training” before the marathon, you have to cough blood if you wanna prepare for a thing like that and you have to start the training many months in advance.
    I guess you had to stop after 10 km because of cramps in your legs.

  27. Ummm… no. The distance from KL city to KLIA is 70KM, give or take a few km. (use your odometer; its there for a reason)
    Anyway, youre amazing just to even think about participating in the marathon! I guess half of the people who commented (that includes me) have never ran 4km, much less 42 km!
    Have a good nights sleep Kenny~~

  28. are u kidding me?? i read all that and u didnt even say ur result!!! nah im joking kenny, i love reading ur blog even tho ive never even met u =)

  29. methink u’ve a great blog, but sori la, meosothink u din finis the race la…unless u rode a bike halfway (or 3/4 way) thru!

  30. Oh hey, I joined the KLIM too. Wasn’t aware that you participated as well until someone told me after I blogged about it. I’d really like to know how you did in the 42km. That’s a six horrible times more than my mere seven km!

  31. Wont u ppl ever stop abt the Tammy thing…My God Kenny, this is gonna be mentioned everywhere, at you wedding, your childrens graduation, mmaybe even at your funeral (they might print it out in your obituary) (shudders!!!)

  32. i know the result. Kenny Sia Tze Foo, finish the marathon. There is 281 person make it to finish the marathon and he is at number 281 as well. Not bad Kenny Sia. At least u make it to finish it. Congratulation. So did u get the money from u friends?

  33. Btw kenny the qualiyfing time is 6 hour. Since u finish the marathon with 6:33:22, in another word ur disqualify. So did they give u anything? Just curios.

  34. AHAHA! kenny, did u gain more weight than lose weight stuffin urself wif carbo and protein durin the trainin period?
    Man, it sure must be tough on u, seein ur hair fell by the thousands down there. Did ur coconuts felt cooler suddenly? And what bout goin commando durin the race? Pls satisfy ur readers’ curiosity on how ur coconuts had survived too.

  35. AHAHA! kenny, did u gain more weight than lose weight stuffin urself wif carbo and protein durin the trainin period?
    Man, it sure must be tough on u, seein ur hair fell by the thousands down there. Did ur coconuts felt cooler suddenly? And what bout goin commando durin the race? Pls satisfy ur readers’ curiosity on how ur coconuts had survived too.

  36. Now Kenny, was it worth it, all that shaving and the horrible taste of PowerGel? LOl
    PS You bad boy you for making us wait but we know the truth after instense searching on our own tee-hee:D. Now you can garu bertubi tubi when your hair under your armpits starts growing, you are going to itch til kingdom come.

  37. kenny, you read too much on magazines and books telling you what the fuck PROS do before/during/after marathon or any workout !
    Yes, carbo, but is good carbs (oats whole grain and not PASTA !)
    Powergel/powerbar/ is for the sudden burst of optimum power !!! not for sustaining..banana abit..but you need to carry with you the whole fucking tree if you want to sustain.
    You are in your first marathon…tiew !! take it easy..you might grow to love it at your 2nd or 3rd marathon. and fuck !!! nobody ask you to fucking take No1. Just finish and get a cert to know you done it.
    If after the marathon you did not burn up the calories you packed during your ” training” you’re ending up FATTTTTTTTTTER !!! because your body stores it
    if you want to fucking lose weight, do this:
    Stop eating CARBO ( Rice )
    Eat Protein ( soya, tofu, egg WHITE, Chicken Breast)
    NO Alcohol
    Drink FUCKING HELL ALOT OF WATER
    your daily calories must not exceed 3600 and must not be below 1200.
    Exceed your exercise 70% of your heart rate ! And MUST MUST do at least 15 mins of it. for 3 days….I FUCKING GURANTEEE WITH MY KUKUCIAU !! you will drop a few KG in 1- 3 months time.
    Most importantly !!! EAT MORE but LESS size.
    8am- 6 eggs white, 4 brocoli, 2 slices of whole grain bread
    10. Protein shakes or yogurt with fruits (apple)
    12. Turkey Sandwiches or chicken breast with carrots and rubards
    2.30. 6 Eggs White, 3 whole grain
    4.00 Chicken Breast with Tuna/Salmon
    6.00 Go for a light meal, chaw koew teow or mcchicken with no mayonise
    8. protein shakes or yogurt
    10. if you fucking must..chew a few carrots

  38. A few tracks I found quite useful during my run:
    – Godskitchen
    – Anaconda : I need a hero
    – R Kelly : World’s Greatest
    – Dunno the artist : Dynamite
    – Dunno the artist : Burn Burn
    By the way – you don’t look fat to me. I kid you not. I was expecting to see the Michelan Man.

  39. Singapore rejects maids’ day off
    The maids usually come from other Asian countries
    The authorities in Singapore have rejected calls for foreign maids to be given a mandatory day off each week.
    Prescribing minimum terms and conditions for the maids would inconvenience many households, a manpower ministry official said.
    Human rights groups have long expressed concern over the way many foreign maids are treated in Singapore.
    The 150,000 foreign maids employed in the country mostly come from Indonesia, the Philippines and Sri Lanka.
    About one in six families in Singapore employs a foreign maid.
    Hawazi Daipi, senior parliamentary secretary to the Ministry of Manpower, told Singapore’s parliament that specifying a compulsory day off for the maids would lead to “rigidities”.
    “For example, some households have elderly or infirm members with special needs who require constant attention, and may find it difficult to release the domestic worker for a prescribed period every week,” he said.
    But Mr Daipi stressed that maids nevertheless had to be given “adequate rest”, and employees who did not ensure this was the case could be fined up to 5,000 Singapore dollars (US$3,066) and jailed for up to six months.
    Overwork was just one of the abuses suffered by foreign maids in Singapore as highlighted by US rights group Human Rights Watch in a report in December.
    The report also alleged that the maids were frequently denied food, pay and social contact, as well as suffering physical abuse.
    Singapore’s government said the report was grossly exaggerated.
    In Hong Kong, where an even larger number of maids work, they are granted one day off every week and a day off on public holidays.

  40. For those of you with craving for TULAN, you are in luck. Beijing just opened the first PENIS RESTAURANT see review below.
    On the menu today: horse penis and testicles with a chilli dip
    By Richard Spencer in Beijing
    (Filed: 17/02/2006)
    The menu at Beijing’s latest venue for its growing army of gourmets is eye-watering rather than mouth-watering.
    China’s cuisine is renowned for being “in your face” – from the skinned dogs displayed at food markets to the kebabbed scorpions sold on street stalls – and there is no polite way of describing Guo-li-zhuang.
    Situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing’s West Lake, it is China’s first speciality penis restaurant.
    Here, businessmen and government officials can sample the organs of yaks, donkeys, oxen and even seals. In fact, they have to, since they form part of every dish – except for those containing testicles.
    “This is my third visit,” said one customer, Liu Qiang. “Of course, there are other restaurants that serve the bian of individual animals. But this is the first that brings them all together.”
    Guolizhuang’s owner, who set it up in November, is proud to combine his own surname (Guo), his wife’s (Li) and his son’s nickname (Zhuang) into its title.
    A booking comes with a trained waitress and a nutritionist in attendance, to explain the menu and to boast its medicinal virtues.
    In China, you are what you eat, and The Daily Telegraph’s nutritionist, Zhu Yan, said the clients were mainly men eager to improve their yang, or virility. Women could benefit, too, she added, although she told the Telegraph’s female photographer: “I wouldn’t recommend the testicles. The testosterone might interfere in fertility. But many women say bian is good for the skin.”
    Some dishes appear unexceptional, such as the simple goat penis, sliced, dipped in flour, fried, and served skewered with soy sauce.
    But Guolizhuang also has its showpieces, such as the elegantly named “Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet” (provided by horses from the western Muslim region of Xin-jiang), for £20 a portion, or “Dragon in the Flame of Desire” (yak, steamed whole, fried and flambéed) for £35.
    For beginners, Miss Zhu recommended the hotpot, which offers a sampling of what the restaurant has to offer – six types of penis, and four of testicle, boiled in chicken stock by the waitress, Liu Yunyang, 22.
    The Russian dog was first. It was julienned, and rather gamey.
    The ox was, of all six, the most recognisable for what it was, even though it had been diced. In texture seemed identical to gristle.
    The deer and the Mongolian goat were surprisingly similar: a little stringy, they had the appearance and feel of overcooked squid tentacles. The Xinjiang horse and the donkey, on the other hand, were quite different. Though both came sliced lengthwise, and looked like bacon, the horse was light and fatty, while the donkey had a firm colour and taste. The testicles were slightly crumbly, and tasted better with lashings of the sesame, soy and chilli dips thoughtfully provided.
    One speciality, Canadian seal penis, costs a hefty £220, and requires ordering in advance. Miss Liu confessed that Guo-li-zhuang was an unusual place to work, partly because of her training – she has to recite tales proving the vigour of the animals in question as they are being eaten – and partly because of the interaction with the clientele. “I did find it embarrassing at first,” she said. “And sometimes the customers take advantage of me by asking rude questions.”
    As for the supposed health benefits, Mr Liu, the most regular customer, was uncertain but hopeful. “I can’t say I’ve noticed any difference yet,” he said. “But it’s a long-term thing.”

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