NZ Road Names

New Zealand is such an awesome holiday destination, but it does have some really odd place names.

My sister’s place is at Rototuna. Today I’m staying at a place called Whangarei, and tomorrow I’ll be diving at a place called Tutukaka.
Imagine that! A place called “Tutukaka”! Lucky it’s called “Tutukaka” and not “Kukutata”, because that was my other nickname.
Don’t you know? My nickname was “Kukutata” because my “kuku” is very “tata”.

A lot of these names are Maori instead of English, and that is why they sounded so weird.
For a Malaysian travelling in New Zealand, these Maori names can be quite confusing and difficult to remember. Most of the time I had to translate them into something else that sounded similar in Mandarin or Hokkien, just so it’s easier for me to remember.
For example, this is how I remember some of the road names.

“Fish is softer” road.

Wrong street.

Shit street.
“No exit” means it’s having constipation.


Hotel “Bad Brother.”

“Caucasian brother” street.

“Good father” street.

“Go f*ck yourself” street.

As punishment for not remembering to send her wishes on her birthday, this voucher hereby entitles nadnut to inflict twenty four (24) “nipple twists” on my good self, one for each year of her birthday.
This voucher is valid for one year only. No copies allowed. “Nipple twists” cannot all be redeemed on the same day.
(As you can see, I am very much forced into doing this.)

161 Replies to “NZ Road Names”

  1. heya kenny! was checking your blog a few minutes ago and came back(:
    i’m 15, love your posts.
    see you around if you come to sg (:
    and am i first? :O

  2. Well at least they have better streets than us. Ours are named after peoples name. Like Jalan Raja Chulan that sounds like Jalan raja Tulan.
    Anyways enjoy ur stay there.

  3. ohhhh… so THAT’s how you guys manage to survive in places with weird names…!
    must make a mental note of that..!
    and NZ really is a wonderful place :)~ I love it!

  4. kenny, go do the tongariro crossing if u’ve got time. 8 hours tramping, worth every min. ur legs will ache like hell after tho 😉

  5. Wah lau eh, didn’t know NZ has such bizarre road names being used!!! I like the TAHI street!! Hahaha~~!!!
    Hope u’re having a good trip and an awesome CNY celebration in NZ, Kenny!!!

  6. Haha this entry is exceptionally funny especially to those who understand Hokkien like me. Really like the “kawhia” street haha.

  7. Wahahaha how come live in NZ so long, i never tot of such names into funny Hokkien translation….. make me burst laugh! esp the last one. . Hey KennySia you really dirty people’s mind la u
    One thing you know, Maori are originally from Asia and their language is related to Malay for example `mata` to them means `eye` as well..

  8. OMFGROFLWTHBBQ!!! You’ve reminded me once again why you’re the best around!!!
    I though Kukutata means you say tata to your kuku though, better take good care of it 😀

  9. Hey Kenny 🙂
    Got your email the other day…
    Good to see you made it here! 😀
    I don’t mind being your coastal tour guide… Hamilton is a bit of a hole, but I think you will like it where I live…
    Also, if you want to know any other places which are really nice to go to,,, let me know.

  10. LOL… been reading your blog and it’s the 1st time leave a comment.
    Mind you “Tahi” is our “Satu” in Maori. 🙂 I burst out laughing the first time they taught me back in school.

  11. this is damn kao good. champion la. pukaki. HAHAHAHAAH 😛 that’s gonna be my “warcry” from now on. PUKAKI!! 😛

  12. hi! yeah, i couldn’t agree more that the names are so difficult to remember, and i often get confuse with all those near-similar names! ;p
    anyway, i’m studying in christchurch. drop me a line if u’r planning to visit the garden city of nz. i’ll be ur tour guide. 🙂

  13. why we should laugh bout the names,i think we shouldnt..the names all are history..who knows maybe u might use one of those names as your children’s name..duh..

  14. drive down from Palmerston North to Wellington, and u’ll come to a place called Te Puki..
    hehehehe… I laughed everytime i passed through to go to Wellington during my uni days..

  15. kenny, kenny, kenny…..i don’t know lah. you’ve got a really twisted but damn kow funny wayof seeing things. this called ‘talented’ or not. i guess so lah because not many people are gifted to see road signs and street signs and can come up with these things! really lah….you really had me rolling on the floor!

  16. Hi Kenny,
    My BM tuition teacher used to say, if ALL Hokkien obsenities words were to be complied, it would definitely form a DICTIONARY. Want to volunteer yourself in this project? :p

  17. what does “tata” mean? is it “small” in Hokkien / Mandarin? the only thing I can think of your nickname “Kukutata” means “tata to the kuku”, or “goodbye d*ck”, meaning your d*ck has long gone! haha no offence…but pls tell me i’m right!

  18. Hi Kenny,
    I used to stay in Whangarei, its a pleasant surprise to see it mentioned in your post today. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time in NZ. Not a day passes by that I don’t wish to be there again.

  19. haha u’ll get used to maori names as u travel more arnd nz…. kenny, check out this little town called dunedin in south island while u r in nz.. worth travelling!! we’ve got a maori named uni too, called OTAGO. how wud u remember this name? lol

  20. the way u intepret the street names are uniquely funny. By the way, Otago is the oldest Uni in NZ. more than 100 years of history. great uni.
    ~Malaysian in NZ n proud Otago student

  21. I never been to dunedin would love to travel there some time, since i only live like 6hours drive from there. i study in Canterbury Uni, in CHRISTCHURCH.

  22. omg…
    You sure are wu liao enough o..haha!
    Good point you can make everything out of your normal day funny enough.
    Happy Chinese New Year!
    (I wonder how’s CNY in new zealand..)

  23. HAY GUYS!! check out my sister’s blog… she’s really really funny! im serious… drop by when yr free! . keep a open mind when visiting her blog! check out her archives…u wont regret it!!

  24. p.s she’s really nt trying 2 fet famous.. i just think that ppl should know bout her… she’s been a blogger since oct 2007.. just so you know.. . check out her archives if yr nt interested in her current obsession…

  25. “kenny, you forget to mention that “wha” actually read “fa”……so whangarei =fangarei = fack-a-ray”
    I would like to think whangarei is actually pronounced faNg-a-ray and NOT fack-a-ray, but hey, whatever makes you happy. 🙂
    Kenny – pukaki is a masterstroke! Woops, stroke…

  26. Kenny,
    Remember this day ya, 8 March 2008, the polling date. Please make sure you are back in Malaysia before this date to exercise your constitutional rights to vote. Enjoy yourself in NZ!

  27. if you think that’s bad, check THIS out!:
    yes it actually exists in NZ. wiki it or something. even better, go find it kenny!

  28. Referring to Qi’s post, check out the pronunciation for “Whakapapa”. Verify with the Kiwis there if you don’t believe me.

  29. Hey kenny,
    I see u’ve been to my hometown – Rotorua =.=”
    yeah the names are funny even tho i don’t get ur hokkien translations..
    Wish i could take u around next time~~~
    take care ya

  30. hello Kenny! Nice post you have about NZ! hahaha!!
    Did you know that pronunciation in Maori language is also very different?
    1. Whangarei is pronounced as FANGAREI not Wangarei
    2. Whakapapa = FAKAPAPA not WAKAPAPA
    3. Whakahuatanga = Fakahuatanga not Wakahuatanga!
    LOL!! Keep it up!! You’ve a great blog!

  31. Malaysia street name also wont lose to NZ’s street name
    like Jalan Raja Chulan= “King of pig co*k road??”
    Hope u have a nice trip in NZ
    and have a safe flight~~

  32. nice blog 🙂
    I’m in NZ too.. but I’m in Christchurch…
    seem like u’ve only travelled in the North Island… should visit South Island another time… very beautiful place here… & lots of funny Maori road names here too…

  33. Hi, Kenny… Its fun reading your blog… seems my friends come leave the comment here…I also dont want to rugi leave comment here… Kiddo and JY…. Happy to see your both here leave comment. Very funny name of the road names…Take care and enjoy blogging.

  34. Hi Kenny…have been reading your blog for a while but this is my 1st comment.saw ur nickname n had the following thoughts:-
    kukutata – kuku big big (in chinese)
    but since u r true blue sarawakian! muz use hokkien. so it must be:-
    kukutata – kuku very dried up!!!
    my condolences to u…..

  35. OMG Kenny! My guts are busting here! I’ve lived here 9 years… and I’ve never actually associated them to Hokkien/Mandarin. Now that I’ve read what you wrote.. I don’t think I will ever see these names in the same light ever again.

  36. well……all the names R from NZ’s native ppl’s language, so………….LOL
    but i like the hakka war dance. VI skool oso do tht dance

  37. ROFL…I would have been laughing my heads off while walking down those streets, those Kiwis would have thought that I was a siau cha bo

  38. I was laughing staring at the computer like an idiot in my office which i’m not suppose to be doing anything that looks funny…

  39. fuck you bro!!!!!
    how dare u fucking diss our moari culture
    and the sreet names with that type of fucking bullshit bro.
    shows hows little respect u had for new zealand
    for the time that u spent here.

  40. i’m a malaysian living in nz.. for around 6 years.. hahaha.. your interpretation are funny as hell.. good work.. didn’t even notice it myself..

  41. LOL !!!
    Had to convert my chuckles into coughs.
    Witty bitty fitting Ah Mong Wah translations …

  42. one day when i stop at the “Paraparaumu” (small town between wellington city and Palmerston north city) airfield i saw a great glider plane then i jump in and enjoy my great flight until i crashed at Rotorua “whakarewarewa” village ,,hahahaha this is New zealand, i was there for 6 years.

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