Mistakes

Been moving around a lot lately, so much so that I didn’t have time to sit down and do a proper blog entry.

While driving me today, my mom almost made a wrong turning from the straightforward route to the airport. I had to alert her when I noticed we’re on the wrong lane, just in time for her to immediately swerve back into the correct path. “Oh yea! I forgot it’s this way”, she sighed.

I am the youngest of three children in my family, also the most rebellious. Growing up, my parents always scolded me for being the most stubborn one. Many times when I have an opinion about something, I would always insist that everyone else is wrong and I am right.
Even when I’m clearly in the wrong, I’d still pretend that I’m right.
My mom clearly has had a difficult time dealing with me, especially during my raging teenage years. When I was younger, everytime she and I had a fight, my mom would always get a kick out of pointing out the glaring flaws in my arguments. On the contrary, no matter how hard I try, I could never make her admit to the mistakes she had made.
Fact is, when I was younger I make a lot more mistakes in a day than she makes in a year. But everytime she points my mistakes out for me, I would brush them off as nagging. Everytime I made a mistake, she would force me to do things her way, and I hated her for it.

Today, I’m well into my mid-twenties. And my mom, well, she’s getting older. Her memory fails, her judgment deteriorates, and the mistakes that she makes become more frequent and more obvious. Now when I point out her mistakes to her, instead of defending herself, she sighs in resignation.
I’m still the young, brash and stupid boy that I was. I still make heaps of mistakes. Only difference is, apart from the superficial stuff, she’s no longer pointing out to me the mistakes that I make. On occasions when we have a disagreement, she lets me “win” instead of forcing me to do things her way.
Maybe she no longer understands what I’m doing well enough to make the judgment. Maybe she’s afraid I’d brush her away as nagging and not listen to her. Maybe it is just that she has simply accepted the fact that I am all grown up into an adult now, and thinks that I no longer needs a retired person like her to tell me my mistakes, to advise me what I should do in life.
What my mom doesn’t know is that now I’m all grown up, I appreciate – more than ever – what she did for me when I was growing up.

I am an adult now and I still make mistakes. How I wish now that everytime I make mistakes, my mom would point them out for me, once again.


Kandi Bar tonight. Cafe del Mar tomorrow. It’s Ibiza in South East Asia, and I am in paradise!

110 Replies to “Mistakes”

  1. Happy Chinese New Year Kenny.
    I guess the way of mums teaching their kids lesson changed gradually from scolding, nagging and slowly to ignorance…

  2. thnx a lot kenny, you just made me miss my mom even more πŸ™
    now tht im milesss away frm her i realized im not matured enough to stand on my own two feet.

  3. what’s with u guys who get to post ‘first’? do us a favour, by not spamming stupid posts ok? it’s an insult to others who are actually reading (& not checking in every hour to post as ‘first’) here.

  4. This is one of the most heart-warming entry i’ve read, and kudos to you for that. I’ve been feeling the same way recently towards my mother too. Too many times in the past i resented her for her relentless nagging. now i wish she would do it all over again, only this time round i would smile instead of frown.

  5. have you hug her and say you love her today? πŸ™‚
    i will go hug my mom now and tell her i love her!
    thanks for this post.. which reminds me a lot of things which i have taken granted

  6. i’m the youngest too.. and it’s the same here… mum nags alot…!!! gah…
    i’m new here and juz wana say thumbs up kenny!! great job blogging.. keep it up!:)

  7. what u wrote makes me reflect about my own family.
    it somehow makes those nagging words seem all the more precious.
    and tat makes a weird transformation in us.
    but don’t worry lah. next time when u r married, you’ll get the same nagging from your wife.
    c u later!

  8. Lun : you’re a bloody insult yourself. You do us a favour, by minding your own business and allowing us the freedom to post whatever we feel like. And oh, 21st comment.

  9. It reminds me my younger days, where am always made my parents nagging all the time, especially my mum. Being the eldest of five siblings doesn’t mean I have a ‘power’ or so called ‘privilege’ over my siblings, but to be more responsible person and this is what my parent taught it to me. Yeah… my mums always ‘win’ when come to an argument on something. Even though, I always saw her ‘fault’ and try to point out those ‘fault’ to her, she always brushed it off. Well, like you said, I never able to make her admit her own fault.
    Funny eh… the most person who I hated most last time is the most I appreciates and love also. That’s mean my mum! πŸ™‚ Now… if she mad of me on my mistakes… I’m just ‘bow’ to her nagging and… I’m kinda appreciate her nagging (so called advice) as an adult, I do always make a mistake. A mistake that an almost-30-years-old man like me should not have done. πŸ™‚

  10. We are young and restless, though eventually we will grow old and senseless. I am the youngest of 6 and being the only boy, I always get things my way.
    Though our mum nags all the time, she meant the best. Oh well, I never agree with her, but I began to appreciate family and life now, especially after my late father died of cancer in 2001.
    Now, my mum is the only one that I spoiled, for a change. Life is short, Kenny, and hopefully you will make the most out of it.
    We always wait for the right time to show our loved ones that we love them and we care, but when the right time come, it might be too late…

  11. OMG such a coincidence – this is the exact topic i’ve been blogging about for days now, and i even threw in the petronas ads coz they made me treasure my mum more now she is around.
    it is high time that we realize how good our lives are because of our parents, and flawed as they are, we must realize as parents, we will be flawed too and we would want our kids to understand that. being from a single parent (mum) family, this topic is even dearer to me. kudos kenny. keep it real, its good to occasionally have a serious post like this.

  12. Your mum, just like any other mums, know that its time to let you go…cos she knows that no matter what she does now, she will not change you anymore. Your character is shaped when u r still young & stubborn back then, not now when u r all grown up & stubborn :p

  13. the irony of life!
    When someone kept doing things for you, you’d wish they stop.
    And when they stop, you’d wish they continue to do it again.

  14. awwwww…such a sweet post kenny!
    missing my mum now *sob sob* and nah, she is thousands million miles away lah weyh!
    wanna go back to malaysia now! i am homesick!
    and i blame you kenny!

  15. very touching. im also the most “stubborn” of my siblings. i used to hate it when they point out if i did something wrong. cause i dont like being wrong. but now, i try to accept it. im trying to learn from mistakes now.
    i guess this is growing up. damn.. i feel so old..

  16. When We were kids, parents of course not out of always nagging, scolding us. Yap, this is the way that they show their care to us. But sometimes if they too soft to us. We will climb over their head them. As what we see now, most of the parents seldom control and punish their children. As aftermath, kids nowadays become naughty and naughty, wild and wild. I remember when i was kid, my mum even strict. Once a time, i naughty caused my brother and try to escape backyard. My mum couldn’t catch me and she using a “lastik” to shoot me. Luckily i was survive. Now, i don’t hate my mum. But I love her the most and sometimes approached and hug her. Anyway, when parent still alive, we must show respect to them. Don’t wait till the day that they gone.

  17. Happy CNY to u Kenny!!
    Aww, such a touching post… what u wrote really resembles my childhood experiences. Well, its still not too late to tell her that u love and appreciate wat she did for u.=)
    Thanks, guess i am goin to do the same too. Growing up really makes u appreciate and treasure the small little things that came ur way, be it good or bad.
    Keep up ur great blog!(“,)

  18. That really struck a chord with me. Thanks for bringing me back to reality and reminding me how greatful i should be of my beloved mom. Thanks Kenny πŸ™‚

  19. lol.. this is the first blog so far that has touched me… right there… coz due to face prob, have to stand by my words rite? being the youngest in the family, i have to toughen up to be heard. especially these few days, my mom’s picking on my nerves…..

  20. Thank you Kenny. You’ve reminded me that my mum treat me so good and I shouldn’t hurt her. You’ve done a good job Kenny!

  21. I always teared when I read this cause this is exactly what is happening between me and my mom. Being away from home for almost five years have make me appreciate her more.

  22. Maybe it is your time to point out other’s ppl mistake ..like pointing out ur nephew mistake …. πŸ™‚
    There is a time when u don’t rely on other ppl pointing out our mistake ..instead we should realize by ourselves. If we can realize by ourselves , then we really grow up as a adult already… Can make proper judmement based on situation…
    And it also prove that u are mentally growing ..

  23. Hey.. maybe she doesn’t do that anymore coz she thinks that you’re old enough to make your own judgements and decisions. Now its your turn to return all the favours she did to you. Share with her your troubles and worries and let her know that that you still value her judgements and opinion.
    Take care!

  24. Love your blog, you always speak from the bottom of your heart and your sincerity touches all your blog readers…. please don’t ever change.

  25. Dear Kenny
    It’s a mind boggling entry to me because I have a younger brother aged 11, who is just like you when you were young. Everytime when we point out the mistakes to him, he just couldn’t take it. For worst, he will either cry or pester my mum till he gets away with it conveniently. How I wish I could talk some senses in his mind.
    Great entry Kenny. Love your blog more each day.

  26. I am in my forties. Youngest in family too. Parents died when I was in teens. Still miss my mummy and daddy. To you all out there who have parents..cherish them and obey them..you will not have their precious naggings when they are gone. Trust me and do the right thing …LOVE them like they LOVE you…GOD BLESS

  27. i often don’t like my mum pointing out my mistakes too. but she always tells me that if she doesn’t care for me, she won’t point out my mistakes; its because she want me to change for the better.
    btw, is that singapore changi airport?

  28. I guess it does take time to show us how much the most valuable thnigs in the world (eg : moms) have an impact and help shape us to be what we are today.

  29. your post literally made me tear up. life really is a circle… how we used to think our parents were the enemies, we now only wish to get those times back. a good book to read in accordance to this post would be Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays With Morrie.

  30. My mom philosophy is that only parents will tell you the whole truth and not only what you want to hear, unlike your friends. Always resented that while growing up (and occasionally now as well) because what she said always hurt me a lot and made me feel she couldn’t accept me for who I am. But now, like you, sometimes, just sometimes , I wish I were a kid again.

  31. i guess everyone of us will reach to a point where we will long for something that we once perceived was a pain in the ear.
    i am happy to know that you appreciate your mama and what she had done for you all these years! *wink*

  32. When our children are very young, it’s our responsibility to protect, guide, protect them. As they grow older, we need to let go, let them make their mistakes, and learn.
    It’s all part of the circle of life. Your mom’s no longer correcting you.. not because she’s afraid, but because she knows that you’re no longer a child. If she continued to do so… you’ll probably hate her for that.
    The time will come for you to be protective, to bite your tongue as you see your children make their mistakes.. but you will not say anything because you know they will need to learn for themselves

  33. Now see what you have done Kenny, you made all teh boys and girls which are home sick cry…….YOu are a naughty naughty boy……….(Spanks him in the butt)*blush*
    To those who are home sick never fear, you can always pin kenny sia’s photo on the wall and trow darts at him for posting up such a thing to make us all miss home so very much…….=P

  34. She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free,
    Catching me in places that I knew I shouldn’t be,
    Every other day I crossed the line,
    I didn’t mean to be so bad,
    I never thought you would
    become the friend I never had.
    -Lyrics of “Mama” by Spice Girls-

  35. great post kenny… really makes u want to hug yr parents there and then… i juz wonder how im ever gona live when the time comes for them to go…

  36. Mothers all think alike, don’t they? It must be an undisputable law of the universe or something.
    Gung Hei Fatt Dai Choi, by the way.

  37. youngest n naughtiest? that sounds like me,
    but at least u make ur family proud of u…
    which msian dunno who is kenny sia????
    haha

  38. I read this post just after I cried because of something my mum had said to me earlier. Such a coincidence! How I wish my mum treats me with more trust and confidence that I am an adult and a mother myself :’-(

  39. First comment since reading all your entries, this is the most touched post recently, make me feel like ‘this is the Kenny lah!’, i’ve spend great times w my family this cny, i dont know since when they become more important than friends which i always rank 1st since teenage…guess this is the sympton of getting old, :p anyway, do spare more time for your mum,I think that’s all that she wanted now.

  40. Hi kenny,
    Why would you want her to nag,if you truely think you are always right.laughs.becuz now you cant prove her wrong or it has became a habit to have her putting you down n her silences makes you uneasy now.
    You afriad of life without a nagger?you dont hv to wait v long b4 u replace urself with a new ‘nag’ once married.And you be sorry you ever wrote this.
    Regards,
    AngelZa.com

  41. having a mom is very very blessed than not having one now…my mom’s still quite young in age but i’ve prepared for those situations u mentioned…u reminded me of those things i’ve taken for granted all this while…thanks, kenny!!

  42. heeey…well is pretty touching.. me now..i’m totally in a same situation as you when u r teenage
    well i had a fight with my mom ..just noow.. well maybe u r ryt.. & i totally learn a lesson from here
    appreciate her

  43. at ARRIVALS! did i get Kenny Sia wrong or it is just that people just saw how heart warming this post is and missed it?

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