Male Meat Sex Parade

You know what I find utterly annoying?

CLEO Magazine’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelors.
EVERY YEAR, CLEO magazine runs a list of who they think are the 50 most eligible bachelors in Malaysia.
EVERY YEAR, they attempt to destroy the self-esteem of ordinary men of the streets by spreading glossy photos after glossy photos of impossibly good-looking men flashing their million-ringgit smiles across their magazine pages.
EVERY YEAR, we have to put up with all those college girls, DROOLING and FANTASISING and GIGGLING among themselves silly as they go through the list of CLEO Bachelors like it’s some sorta Male Meat Sex Menu to order from.

This is how a typical conversation between two college school girls is like when they go through CLEO magazine’s 50 Eligible Bachelors.
Paris Tan: OMG. Like, do you have, like, the latest issue of, like, CLEO Magazine?
Giselle Chia: Yeah! Like OMG. It has, like, the 50 most eligible, like, bachelors in it!
Paris Tan: OMG can I have a look, like, please please please?
Giselle Chia: Yeah, come see see! *pulls out a copy of CLEO Magazine*
Paris Tan: OMG! Look at this one! He’s so cuteeeeeeeeeee.
Giselle Chia: Him? He’s ok only lah. Come I show you which one I like best. *flips pages* Nah, this one!

Paris Tan: OMG! You’re right! He’s damn hot. I want this one already!
Giselle Chia: Cannot! He’s mine! Choose your own one lah, come on!
Paris Tan: Haha ok lah. You can have him. Then I’ll choose this guy instead.
Giselle Chia: Cannot! He’s mine too!
Paris Tan: WTF? But I thought you already chose that one?
Giselle Chia: Ya lah. But this one for marrying, and that one is for shagging. *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*
Paris Tan: Bitch! Ok lah since you’re my bestie I’ll share him with you ok?
Giselle Chia: Ya sure sure! So I’ll have him Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and you can have him Thursday, Friday, Saturday ok?
Paris Tan: Ok deal!
*giggle* *giggle* *giggle*
Oi! What do you think us guys are? Toys for you girls to share and compare and pass around one is it!
Goodness!

I remember speaking to Mia last year about how this CLEO is objectifying men with their 50 Eligible Bachelors list.
She could only roll her eyes at me and go, “Well, but you guys have been doing the same thing with FHM for so many years. I’m sure you guys also compare among your guy friends which one of those FHM models you wanna shag and all that.”

But… it’s different!
“You’re just jealous of the guys lah, is it? ;)”

Jealous? No. I’m not jealous.
I mean like, sure, all those CLEO Bachelors are good-looking lah. Model type lah. Handsome lah. Eligible lah. That’s why girls like them lah.
And maybe I secretly think that guys being treated as eye candies and sex objects isn’t such a bad thing. I mean, which guy wouldn’t wanna be the object of desire of girls right? Shallow, but it’s true.

I know lah I’m too chubby to be considered “eligible”. Whatever man. I’m not jealous.
Really.
Ok lah, maybe I’m just a littleeeee wee bit jealous of all the attention they’re getting from the girls.
Just a little.
But please. How sissy it is for MEN to compete in a MALE beauty contest?

It’s like if any of they win, they’re gonna have to wear a tiara and sash saying “MR CLEO BACHELOR OF THE YEAR.”
Then go parade around in their underwear.
Seriously. Which self-respecting male would join a competition like that? I don’t know, man.


Hey look, WHO IS THAT!


Apparently some people still didn’t get it, but the previous entry was meant to be an April’s Fool prank lah. I’m not quitting on kennysia.com. Not in the near future anyway.
Sure, trying to juggle several things at the same time isn’t easy. But I guess as long as we prioritise what’s important, allocate our time properly and compromise sometimes, I think it’s not impossible to still have everything work out the best for myself and everyone else. And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now.

269 Replies to “Male Meat Sex Parade”

  1. Hahaha. Should have undone a few more buttons with a more ‘come hither’ expression, maybe that’ll get you up a few more ranks next year!

  2. wow!!! ur image now is different liao….. kennot make fun of kenny the same way oredi. muz tk care of urself k.

  3. LOL, is it 2nd day of april’s fool? Chubby guy can be one of the most eligible bachelor. Now I’m thinking about teddy bear at night….

  4. LOL, did the editor did some mistake on the bachelor No.46?…I don’t think he should be there….
    HAHA. Just joking^^
    Congratz!!

  5. OI! action ah!
    i knew he is in it, he is not the type of guy who will buy CLEO unless got his picture inside. (did someone say stingy??lol)

  6. haiyo. should’ve been much higher… the last question u answered there would have given you a higher place, if i was one of those people choosing and ranking the meats.
    hehehe

  7. oh and kenny, the link on the last entry’s short talk doesn’t link to the ori post already… it looks exactly the same la, for the exception that the post is yesterday’s post leh. can fix ah?
    i want to come back in a year’s time and reminisce. uhuhuhu.

  8. oh my god, doesn’t make sense what i said. what i meant was, layout macam sama, but the post is not yesterday’s post. ish. paiseh double-posting

  9. congrats kenny! if i saw the magazine somewhere i might consider buying it…haha…but are u really still single?

  10. my reaction when i initially saw that,
    “so they finally gave up on a bunch of pretty boys.”
    don’t mean that in a bad way but still they looking for ‘eligible bachelors’ not pretty boy that looks good in ____(fill in the blank). so all the best for that. also at least you’re the outstanding one out of them. as the old saying goes, “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.”
    by the way, the “dracula teeth” thing ain’t so bad. my man has that too. not as issue and call me weird but i find it adorable when he smiles. now you can shoot me please.

  11. Now CLEO made a frigging right choice for shortlisting you because all your readers are gonna get a copy of CLEO, great marketing strategy!!
    (No i didn’t mean that you were not qualified to get in! I SUPPORT U!!!)

  12. ey that last part got me stunned for a moment. you’re such a sweetie to say that as the best thing you’ve done. your daddy must be a very proud man to have you. seriously speaking.

  13. my sis asked me who so blind nominate u wor…
    im wearing 700 degrees glasses. so guess who? haahaha
    told ya u cld make it!! gambatte!!!!!!!!!!!
    i will vote for u

  14. wow wow you finally blog about it.. been waiting! ^^
    hey it’s about time you appear in Cleo.. think you deserve it.. cos you’re quite an over-achiever, IMHO. Like the answer you gave on the Q&A part, particularly the ‘Why do women …’ – so spot on! lol kinda cheeky, like, just so ‘Kenny’.
    Wish i could vote for you too, but sadly i think only possible for those residing in malaysia, isn’t it? well anyways, you still can get your teeth fixed, can’t you? i thought many celebs are doing that though they’re not so young anymore.. not that you’re not young, though =)
    anyways, congrats and congrats again!

  15. to add on, you’re not too bad yourself. You look kinda cute sometimes.. at least you’re quite pleasant to the eyes =) might be better if u slim down.. oops no offense yea ^^

  16. I seriously sense sour grapes when I read through the front. And then… your picture!
    Massive surprise but I guess Cleo’s quite right.
    And hey, that issue is the HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR.

  17. Holy cow, u r da 50th most eligible bachalor in Msia? Fuck up enuf, I love it man. Keep it up, soon you will be the most top 10 eligible fucker in Msia. LOLz.

  18. hahahaha! got this issue few weeks ago and was mucho surprised to see you there…. πŸ™‚ congrats!

  19. You make Kuching boys proud! :))
    Congrats…
    then again,… You aren’t a bachelor… ok so maybe u are…. Bachelor in the dictionary showed unmarried man….

  20. OMFG!
    How do you like, know how girls’ conversation goes like that
    when it comes to CLEO’S 5O MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS ISSUE???
    Hehe.
    oh Kenny Sia, fret not.
    You know hw some girls secretly *lust* after you… :X
    It’s amazing what the power of words can do to some pple…
    I think i hf a crush on you just from reading ur blog xDDD
    Yes, i’m silly. It’s like, a fleeting thingy.

  21. hey… been waiting for this post xD
    i’ve to admit that the other guys are hotter but u’re my fave anyways… u should win imho…
    good luck =)

  22. goodness kenny, wht’s up with the few buttons undone? show ur hairy chest is it? really ddnt see this coming..

  23. Kenny!i saw Jimmy the MDG judge in KLCC today and looked around hoping to see you. wanted to have a look and drool over my favourite blogger in real and not in the magazine. guess you weren’t around today huh? πŸ™

  24. ure such a sexist la kenny.girls are objectified for male’s fantasy,sexually especially.how females are being exploited, cars must come with hot chicks, practically everything about the females are being commercialised.so why not men?including u.

  25. wah…i thought you sounded so serious, all out anti-cleo’s-bachelor…mana tau in the end…ii super cha tou..-_-“..
    but congrats on getting on!…

  26. hahaha.. like that part where trying to sell yourself.. bigger, bolder and rounder, very kenny sia indeed.

  27. I love that part about women getting embarassed when their undies are exposed but let it hang loose on the beach in the bikini. Haha!
    The 46th Most Eligible Bachelor in Cleo has a teeny weeny bit of forest in the chest area. *ahem ahem*
    haha congrats!

  28. Wah… kennysia is being nominated? No no.. should say being selected. Haha…
    Congratulation kenny… I can see you shinning all the way… *star*
    ;D

  29. OMG!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.. so funny man………. xD u’re not eligible lah actually.. got gf ady rite? ^.^ BUT anyways…. i will still go n buy that CLEO magazine since u’re in it and since i simply adore ur blog and U. πŸ˜€

  30. too bad i’m here in the UK..if not i’ll get a copy…..
    good luck and hope you win!!
    have all the fun of girls going gaga over you as they flip through the pages!

  31. wahhhhhh….. congratz! so what’s next? if you want to be menteri kesihatan sure i’ll vote for you wan…

  32. Congrat Kenny. This is life,isn;t it…
    For sure from now on,all the girl on the street will go crazy for u…hahhaaaa:) Do u need a bodyguard to protect U?? heehee….

  33. Please lor…I thought this top 50 bachelor thing in MY is bad with all these cannot-make-it guys… until I see that even you, a fatass, also can make it in… how low can it get???

  34. totally unexpected! didn’t know you were in the top 50.
    Loved your answer about women being “late” and “late” can mean different things in depending on the context…

  35. hey kenny..
    it’s not too late if u wanna wear braces over your teeth now u knw!! πŸ™‚
    what do u think? only for two years…

  36. lol totally expected u to be in there lah =p
    **************
    but what’s with the thin flowery shirt that tries to show your ‘fur’?????
    kenny! that’s very gay!!!!!!!!!!!!
    **************

  37. you are the one being shallow, moron. gals just like to see and fantasize. but they dont really think they will end up with those guys, esp with you in the list. get a life, man. if you cant cope with what you see, don’t see.

  38. woitt… hope u win… then you can parade in your swim trunk and sashayssssss….
    congrats anywaya, there’s a man for every women (that shd be CLEO 50 most eligble bachelor anthem) including kennysia is out for grab… now run kenny

  39. I’ve read so many CLEO’s magazine (and those CLEO bachelors issues of course) but have never voted.. This will be my first! I’m so gonna vote you.. hAhhHAHAHaha… enough said, I still think it’s so gay =))

  40. For those not in the know (duh), the number next to the guys is not their ranking. There’s no ranking there, the number’s for the voters to choose the winner for the numerous categories, and ultimately, the most eligible bachelor. So it’s not like it’s top something, just mere numbering, and it’s not like they’ll still be around next year. It’ll be some other 50 guys’ turn la…:)

  41. Hehehe… Samy Bulu say, every dog will have its day.. Wahahahaha!!! I see that you too is having your day! Wahahahahaha…

  42. now u know how ‘object’ v feel 2 c those beauty contest on air…n its so regularly held by various organiser (incl. dreamgirl) compare to male meat contest…
    btw..tat gal in the pic is hot thnx…but it remind me of william…hung looking at tat guy no.46 !

  43. Haha! Nice one. Congrats on being an object of desire Kenny!!
    Dunno how Cleo in M’sia works. Good looking, hunky, drop dead gorgeous S’pore guys are just limited/non-existent and those that qualified are so-so only…
    Plus it’s easier if they knew somebody from the mag.. Kelong 1..

  44. lol and i was going to scold u saying..so u think it’s ok for 12 girls to compete for msian dreamgirl, but no ok if cleo post out 50 bachelors!
    ok..gona grab myself a copy!

  45. OMG..I am, like, really want to get the copy, like, right now! πŸ™‚
    Congrats Kenny. I hope you win something, and make history! :))

  46. Gosh you looks so damp different. This one looks chubby, the shirt not match you. You tried to open your chest but only hair, no chest muscle, too bad.
    And I remember I saw you once at The Spring, my friend told me is Kenny Sia, if they dint tell me that, I thought its an Uncle…. : (
    Kenny you really need to so loose weight.

  47. LOL…whats up with OMG on the collage gals..I hang a lot with college gal, some of them biatch..but, they wun bother to even say OMG with whoever dis and dat..really!! careful with whatever u say..some ppl do believe what u say..i wonder why..

  48. Haha…was really surprised when I read through my copy of CLEO…IT Director cum Blogger…glamour…
    Hope to catch a glimpse of you during the meet the bachelor event…
    May the best “bachelor” wins… =)

  49. hahahahaha man!! that interview is sooo you damnit.. i bet chua soi lek is so damn proud ey? hahahaha the term daredevil sure fits u xD

  50. eh sorry.. i tot u were nicknamed daredevil in the interview looooooll.. nonetheless it sure fits u nicely hehehehheheeehehhee

  51. Dude, do up your shirt buttons at the events otherwise you’ll scare away all the chicks :p
    Well done on getting into this year’s lot of Cleo bachelors. I assume the finale will be in Zouk again?

  52. haha…when I saw the list of 50 bachelors and found you there…then I read this “oh-so-bimbo” blog….I just rolled on the floor and laugh!
    : P
    good luck man…! Maybe you’ll get the most humorous bachelor title??

  53. Yay!! Kenny, you represent the pudgy and meaty guys with bad teeth in Malaysia and give us all HOPE!! I hope you win!!

  54. I remembered one of my chubby ex-classmates in secondary school also made it to the list several years ago. He was quite fat and not that good-looking. Hmm…wonder what’s their criteria now…

  55. When my boyfriend and I saw you in CLEO, we were like….WTF????? OMG…. Kenny Sia is one of the most eligible bachelors in town this year.
    And when we read about the Chua Soi Lek part…. we were rolling away with laughter!!!
    Thumbs up for your comment on CSL, Kenny! I hope he picks up the Cleo and read about it, and wonder what reaction will he get.
    Hahahaha…

  56. What to say…CLEo most eligible bachelor….Well.. think they dont only judge on look to qualify as one(although u r not bad la)..as u r a successful blogger…n IT director woh..
    But CLEO most eligible bachelor(not sure 06/07 one) did give me a sweet memory and shock when i found out that one of the guys listed was a (HR analyst) who called me for interview.. n he is so cute.. handsome… can’t believe i heard his voice…(couldnt make it to next round to meet him anyway..but his pic..in CLEO is enough….aih…)
    anyway congrats!! haha

  57. Yucks la who go and dress you up?? Your shirt is like something a cheesy lounge singer would wear. Summore the shirt unbuttoned like that.. if no buff body NOT sexy ok! The grossest kinds of guys are those who think that they are sooo sexy but in fact they’re the total opposite of sexy!

  58. kenny.. i love your comment about what make u nervous.. because i’m oso nervous when my bf used to say that word..LATE.. nice job man..:)

  59. DUDE. I totally respect your right to having an opinion but let’s look at it this way:
    “It’s like if any of them win, they’re gonna have to wear a tiara and sash saying “MISS CLEO BACHELOR OF THE YEAR.”
    Then go parade around in their underwear.
    Seriously. Which self-respecting female would join a competition like that? I don’t know, man.”
    Yes, SERIOUSLY. So, you’re saying it’s not right to objectify men but objectifying women is perfectly acceptable? Excuse me, please don’t even start on the roles of men and women in society or on the inherent differences between men and women. Having had a long tradition of being marginalized and compartmentalized, and having only recently (I say “recent” in terms of the world’s history) been emancipated does not make it any more justifiable for women to be viewed as purely sources of pleasure/ entertainment. I agree with your friend and no I don’t think it’s just jealousy; I smell a hint of bigotry here.
    No offence or personal attack meant though, I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts.

  60. and i thought you are in Rome… what the heck are you doing, blogging about CLEO? u could have blogged about the wishing fountain or the colloseum or not blog at all for a few days and enjoy your holiday..
    anyway.. that’s sleek.. not bad at all.. keep it up..

  61. Dear naeboo who commented above, i’m sorry if i’m kinda “stoopid” but i thought everyone is entitled to their own opinion? you can keep your opinion and stop sticking your nose unto into other’s views. appreciate it. and what do you mean by “u already noe who would nominate u?” i thought the competition is gonna be fair and square? from what i noe, choosing the winner is not based on sms vote only. get a life

  62. Hmm… surely there must be a typo error on the Cleo magazine cover. It should read, “The 50 Most Chubby Bachelors” since Kenny can be in it!!! Well done for making chubby guys proud.

  63. hahahah somehow i felt that it was leading somewhere…but then i thought nah…impossible kenny sia eligble bachelor? =P ok i was just kidding! congrats! i wish i was in KL will definitely vote for u…. =)

  64. i quote Ann:
    Dear naeboo who commented above, i’m sorry if i’m kinda “stoopid” but i thought everyone is entitled to their own opinion? you can keep your opinion and stop sticking your nose unto into other’s views. appreciate it. and what do you mean by “u already noe who would nominate u?” i thought the competition is gonna be fair and square? from what i noe, choosing the winner is not based on sms vote only. get a life
    do u even know the meaning of NOMINATE?
    boo was the one who nominated kenny.
    check the dictionary before you comment.

  65. how bout i already knew u were going to pull off something like that as i was going through this blog… oh kenny~

  66. To all who made fun of Kenny being chubby and being listed – that should tell you what women really see in a man.
    I personally think that he qualifies. After all, being eligible does not mean a stud with 6 packs and nothing else to show.
    So all the best to Kenny.

  67. Hi Kenny,
    I had seen you in my CLEO mag. Though it is undeniably that you are …eeerrr..not so handsome as compared to the other male contestants, but still I think you did answer your questions in your profiles better than the other guys..and also the funniest among all πŸ™‚
    Cheers!
    Visit me at http://www.purplemay.blogspot.com

  68. At least the Malaysian Cleo has MUCH BETTER looking guys than the Singapore Cleo. Some of the singapore ones look like sh*t…REALLY! By the way, I am singaporean.

  69. and I thought you are ranting but after reading on it ends up in Kenny doing a promo of himself KNN CCB Kenny !!@#!@$@#%#$^%…….
    Hahaha Joking lar but congrats Kenny for Making the 46th Meat shag of Cleo………..Bet many girls are linign up to get ur number for some “Services” eh? Dont forget to share hor….Sharing is caring bro…….haha

  70. IMHO, singapore’s cleo eb are much more handsome.. just my opinion.. but i especially like the 2007 batch of bachelors.. that’s what i’d call “sizzling”

  71. dear copycat.. the pun was intended.. i purposely wrote stoopid that way cos i wanted to. do we need to write very formally everywhere? even if it’s only a comment in a blog? thanks for ENLIGHTENING, btw.

  72. i’ve been avid reader for 2-3 yrs now, i gotta say
    what a fuxking hilarious post this is…totally saw it coming! thanks for enlightening my day!
    finally, the first thing that came out of my mind when i saw your pic…..”i knew it….show off!”
    hahaha

  73. Ok, read this.
    ‘Most muscular guys are gays, and most good looking guys tend to be sissies.’
    Remember that. This may be one of the many quotes your grandkids will quote many years down the road. πŸ˜‰

  74. Cool stuff!… now you’ll have (even) more chics with advertising like this. Girls knocking at your door day and night? no time to blog? hehe your only young once, so enjoy it.

  75. Ah Kenny, don’t worry about the others trying to say that you are unattractive or too chubby or whatever.
    You are yourself, and you are the natural you. You are cute even you are chubby, you are cute with your imperfect teeth, and you are hot no matter if your height is short or not. πŸ˜€

  76. I never could continue perusing CLEO after the first 10 pages. All that epilepsy-inducing colours splashed everywhere… implies that we females have the visual fascination of 5 year olds… which I don’t totally disagree. Oh look, colourful butterflies! *Takes picture*

  77. Eh! Nowadays we see the increase of ‘famous’ young bloggers going into talent contest.
    Miss Cheesie in MDG, and now Mr KennySia in FHM Eligible Bachelors. Hmm….
    Giving you credit for having the guts to accept the invitation to be in the list, Kenny.
    All the best!
    Oh… If you don’t win this, you better tell your mother to ‘Arrange Marriage’ for you lah…hahaha..

  78. It has been ages since i buy a Cleo and I havent check out on this year bachelor list! Gosh, do i read somewhere that you are trying to “sell” yourself out? Or you want us to give you some vote instead? ;p
    btw you look good in there!
    Excuse me! “Drooling” sound very disgusting! Not a right word! Women dont drool at men, they admire them, ok? It is the same things too when you men start to look at all those sexy babes in FHM!!

  79. Paris Tan and Giselle Chia.. Obviously you’re portraying Hannah Tan as Paris HIlton and Amber Chia as Giselle..

  80. Finally someone who isn’t lame joining this group of bachelors!! Sorry to the others. But seriously lah.. no guessing who Bachelor with Best Personality would go to.
    That Chua Soi Lek bit was too damn funny lah! LOL!

  81. ROFL! Nice one! Actually not all girls are crazy over CLEO Mag just because the bachelors but hey, am sure you will earn loads of votes from your readers. Good luck! =D

  82. u noe what
    i LOVE DAT PIC OF U IN D GIRLS BODY
    ima gona like enlarge it n laminate n den frame it n start makin alot of copies n send to all my relatives n frens!
    ahahahahahaha

  83. i saw that coming
    btw its never too late for bracers lah… my dad told me someone he knew who was older than him.. like a decade ago… was about 40++ years of age.. wore them haha! it was a guy

  84. After seeing your appalling performance at the Malaysian Dream Girl as a judge, I don’t know why any girl would want to vote for you. Your comments are cruel and hurtful to the person, you absolutely have no respect at all for the women that came in for auditions.
    You can criticise the person in a positive and constructive manner, as the other two judges did. Your comments show you lack class, you put down a person to make yourself look funny/good.
    I also noticed that the other two judges would thank the people who came in for the audition but none from you! NO CLASS, NO MANNERS, UNKIND!
    You don’t have MY vote!

  85. haha congrats on making it to the Top 50!
    your picture in the magazine looks different from
    the one on the Osim ad. lol!
    and i do agree with Mia, guys do compare girls too! my guy friends even do it infront of us girls.

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