Lessons Chua Soi Lek Should Learn From Lingam

It’s hard not to draw parallels between VK Lingam and Dr Chua Soi Lek.

Both are prominent folks in society. Both committed a very bad sin a couple of years ago. Both were caught red-handed and red-faced when grainy videos of their naughty behaviour were leaked to the public.
I’m sure everyone is familiar with Chua Soi Lek. He is our former Health Minister who cheated on his wife when he admited to bonking a “personal friend” in a hotel room.
As for VK Lingam, he is a prominent lawyer who is currently embroiled in controversy when an 6-year-old video of him was leaked to the public. The video showed VK Lingam talking on the phone, allegedly making a deal to ensure that Ahmad Fairuz, the future Chief Justice of Malaysia, could secure the position he wanted.

The Lingam Tape

It is such a big news in Malaysia right now because the Chief Justice is the No. 1 top judge of Malaysia, the one who have the ultimate power to decide what is right and wrong in this country.
Thing is, the question who should be Chief Justice is SUPPOSED to be a secret known only to the Prime Minister and the Agung. It’s top secret, highly confidential stuff. However, the presence of the “Lingam Tape” suggested otherwise. It suggested that there is corruption within the very top position of this country’s judicial system. It suggested that the person who gets appointed Chief Justice may not be a secret, but something that is planned all along by cronies of the Prime Minister.
So right now, VK Lingam is in a hot steaming pile of deep shit because the bugger got exposed.

Lingam in deep shit

But that’s the serious side of the news.
kennysia.com does not deal with serious news. kennysia.com only deals with serious news that have serious entertainment value.
This news became entertaining when VK Lingam’s ass was hauled up to the Royal Commission.
This is where the similarity between VK Lingam and Chua Soi Lek ends. Instead of admitting he was wrong, VK Lingam lied blatantly through his teeth. Whilst Chua Soi Lek admitted that he was the man in the sex video, Lingam wouldn’t even admit that it was him in the judge-fixing video.

Instead of admitting he’s the person in the video clip, he said “it looks like me, sounds like me, but I will not say 100% that it’s me.” He said that even when the room in the video clip matches the living room in his house.
Instead of admitting that he was speaking to Ahmad Fairuz on the phone, he said “I talk rubbish when I drink wine.” But anyone who watched the video clip would know that his conversation was so detailed and spot-on to be written off as “rubbish”.

Instead of admitting he and a former chief judge Eusoff Chin were so close they plan their holidays together, he said they bumped into each other at Changi Airport and then went on a holiday to New Zealand together. He said that even when they shared almost exactly the same flights, dates and even seat classes.
The guy lied so much, it’s almost comical. He lied so much, someone had to call BOMBA to put his pants out of fire.
He lied so much, he almost made George Bush look HONEST.

So while VK Lingam is happily wasting everybody’s time in the Royal Commission, poor Chua Soi Lek is sitting at home feeling tulan after he lost his job and got into trouble with his wife. Chua Soi Lek thought people would forgive him if he told the truth. Instead, he was forced to resign after telling the truth.
Oh how different things would’ve been if Chua Soi Lek were to learn a few tips from VK Lingam. At least he could’ve saved his job right?

Here’s a list of what I think are the top four tips Chua Soi Lek should’ve learnt from VK Lingam to keep his ass out of trouble.

  What Lingam Said What Chua Soi Lek Should Have Said
Pretend to be drunk “I talk rubbish when I drink wine.”

“I can even pretend to talk to President Bush.”

“I get horny when I drink wine.”

“Then I pretend to be screwing my personal friend.”

“Pretend only hor.”

Insist that the meeting was pure coincidence “I bumped into (former chief judge) Eusoff Chin at Changi Airport on my way to New Zealand.”

“It was a chance encounter.”

“I bumped into my ‘personal friend’ in Batu Pahat, at Hotel Katerina, inside Room 1301.”

“Then after I bumped into her, I bumped her lah.”

Don’t admit to being the person in the video clip “It looks like me, sounds like me.”

“But I will not say 100% that it’s me.”

“It looks like me, sounds like me, fucks like me.”

“But I will not say 100% that it’s me.”

Flat out deny you are guilty “I was not speaking to Tun Ahmad Fairuz on the phone.” “I am still a virgin.”

See? Say like that confirm Chua Soi Lek won’t have to step down one.

A boy in KL waits patiently for her girlfriend to travel down from Penang to visit him.
She never arrived.
She was killed when the bus she was travelling on crashed near Slim River, Perak. The bus driver, who had 13 outstanding summons against him, escaped with a broken leg. The victim’s name was Lee Nian Ning. She was 21. Her boyfriend, Chung Lern, is contemplating what action to take next, and would like to call for all victims and witnesses of the tragedy to please contact him directly at chunglern@gmail.com or 012 6670368.

172 Replies to “Lessons Chua Soi Lek Should Learn From Lingam”

  1. Lingam has made a COMPLETE mockery of the court and it’s sanctity.
    I sincerely pray that others would realise the can o’ worms this case has uncovered.
    Vote wisely.

  2. A blog well-done! It has always been a joy reading your posts. I honestly think you have a talent and creativity in blogging. You make my day! ^^

  3. to be able to survive in malaysia politic. the most important criteria is ur face muz be thick and a master in using the word “misquote”

  4. I am studying at the States now, and quite honestly, Kennysia.com is my only source of Malaysian news.
    From what I have seen so far, suffice to say that the Malaysian administration currently is pretty fucked.
    Rampant corruption and blatantly selfish politicians.
    No wonder I have a lot of friends back home who wish to migrate.
    Either way, great post Kenny! I love ironic humor.

  5. ROFLMAO!!!!!
    OR…… they could just act senile.. pretend to be motherfuckingly nyanuk lor.. the ultimate disguise.. both of them!…
    … or just die off like suharto did.. all charges dropped! the ultimate escape.. damn, he’s good!

  6. Damn screwy people.. though i do not agree with what he did, CSL at least admitted his fault and also his job was not compromised unlike that dickhead Lingam ( I believe lingam means that in Indian??)

  7. its alarming and disappointing seeing the status of politics in our country, i tot politicians should hav balls when taking responsible of government duties…. this guys doesnt has any, shame on him… chua did something wrong, but he got the balls to admit (and show his balls to the whole nation)

  8. I agree with you. Honestly, i prefer Lingam to tell the truth rather than waste everybody time.”it looks like me, sounds like me, but I will not say 100% that it’s me.” WTF! Then, who? My Twin brother? Kenny Sia? Just admit……

  9. *two thumbs up* i like how u mix serious topics with humour.. hahhaha.. but then again with the way things are going on in our country.. we are in a way the center of laughter among our neighbours..

  10. hahahaha pure wittiness.
    Sadly it’s putting the judiciary system to shame.
    I see ego has the worst of him. “Die” also must defend oneself even if all the lies does not make sense.

  11. we were discussing the same ‘looks like me, —– like me, but 100% not me’ the other day over BKT!
    wat a coincidence!!!

  12. wakakkkkaakkkkkaaaaa….ka…kah…kahhhh.kahhh… somebody stop me from rofl……im turning bluee…. kenny u so funnnnnnnyyyyyyy

  13. ROFL!
    “I am still virgin” haha. The wife should come out and throw a statement agreeing to that! ahahha
    It will be then a true show!
    I shall vote three people to be the biggest comedian in Malaysian history.
    1) Chua Soi Lek
    2) Lingam
    3) KENNY SIA!

  14. Kenny
    I have to agree with you that I shld hv denied it as I am still a virgin. You cant blame me what and I hv proof. Just take a look at my wife. How to digest?

  15. Kudos to you Kenny! Man, this post cracked me up the second time after I got cracked up by my friend’s blogpost XD
    I absof*ckinlutely love that comparison table you made.
    Great post!

  16. ROFLMAO!!!!!
    Bumps like me?? Wow…this is epic…
    Newpapers should have this kind of entertainment, take the edge out of bad mornings.
    Nie post, keep it up!

  17. Chua is not a lawyer but a doctor. He’s been trained to tell it like it is, not hide behind technicalities and suppositions.
    Lingam is not the only one twisting his words – read the testimony of Eusoff Chin and the others with legal training. However, they are not lying.
    Look at Bill Clinton, himself a lawyer by training “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”, which is correct. A blow job is not sex if sex is defined as the act of procreation.

  18. VK Lingam made himself sound like a 5 year old kid who tell lies without blinking.This makes a 5 year old more innocent than ever.
    As for Dr. Chua,it’s just not his lucky day.too bad..lol..maybe he could have a better chance next time..you know..lying in public..

  19. Woah kenny. Somehow I feel like you are treading on a tight rope and you might just fall anytime. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to ya! Cos I love your blog!!! 🙂

  20. Owh… i know lee nian ning… she’s my friend… i attended her funeral… what a lost… sigh… so young, successful… was saddened by tht incident

  21. “It looks like me, sounds like me, fucks like me.”
    “But I will not say 100% that it’s me.”
    This is SERIOUS entertainment value. Hahahahahaahahahahaaha………………….

  22. Hey Kenny, u’re very brave to have posted this. Though it was a very nice read, I would be very careful to openly claim someone has lied especially if the courts may decide that he didn’t lie. You never know 🙂

  23. TULAN is fed-up i guess.
    not bad,
    i foresee that the ‘it looks like me, sounds like me, but may not 100% be me’ statement will be used often

  24. how many thumbs u want, kennysia? i can even give u a punch for this post
    very informative & funny 🙂
    anyway, u ppl think chua SOI leg dun wanna do wat lingam did IF he ever have a ‘coincident’ bump with ‘so n so’ in airport or NZ ?
    sideline abit abt the shorttalk…feel relly sad reading it…13 summons…guys pls take K on the way balik kampung dis coming festive

  25. great one kenny. the good tips given to dr. chua should come in handy if lingam’s case was before chua’s. all i got to say is sepandai- pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga. lingam will nvr get to escape frm all his lies. on day, he will fall of the pokok.
    to lingam: cepat2 lah mengaku shj. just wanting publisity izit? love making headline everyday izit? then better go an appear in playboy maganizes.
    well, who knows if lingam reads ur post, he will decide to stop going around the bush.

  26. My condolences to Lee Nian Ning’s family & bf. It’s So sad that something like this happen to such innocent person. 🙁
    May she rest in peace…

  27. Aiyoo… this Lau Chua already earn enough dee and somemore he wants more time to spend with his “Personal” friend(s) mah. He also did mention that he is not a good businessman unable to nego with the person who sabotage him.
    Uncle Lingam is different, seen he is lawman and he got the skill to twist his tongue 360′ so he won’t die so easy 1. Trust me this case will be close unresolved.

  28. KENNY U WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *chokes to death* I’m in the office god dangit. Please put a disclaimer not to read in office next time ok? U wanna get me fired is it?

  29. YEAH MAN XD ! this is the no 1 reason i read your blogs haha . . jokes made out of serious issues . . i love you man kenny ! kennysia rock on !

  30. HAHAHA wah, i didn’t even know abt Lingam. Wah, why our malaysia so many drama now? we trying to be americans is it now. AHHAHA kidding la, not racist la. anyway, apalar, these 2 people- beh paiseh get off our government stuff la. so sia soi =_=
    eh kenny, u go take over better la!

  31. bus crash. it is terrible to lose someone you know in this way. msian government, being famously corrupted as it is, sxxcks, especially with all the SEMIVALUE projects and uselxxs government officers etc etc etc…
    To sign the petition, please send your FULL NAME and IC NUMBER to buscrashnomore@gmail.com.
    Please put this in forums, bulletins, emails, blogs…..everywhere. We need all the support we can get. This is for you as well.

  32. Lingam should be prepping his ass for some major assrape when he’s thrown in jail. He’s taking the court and everybody else for stupid with his childish denial. On another note, feel sorry for Lee Nian Ning, life is fickle..

  33. Sad FACT is Lingam will Walk-away with a Slap on the wrist, still able to ply his trade because he is OWED Favours by Decision-Makers at The VERY TOP,GUARDIANS of DEMOCRACY so to speak. This goes way beyond Rooting for a friend to Undiluted CORRUPTION from TOP-DOWN. With the likes of THESE setting National Ethical Values, it naturally follows that ALL within the SYSTEM down to those SWORN to UPHOLD Law & Order at Street level feel free to GRAB Whatever the can WHENEVER they can as a PERK, and the Tax-Paying Public should be GRATEFUL to be SCREWED by DICKS bearing TITLES. As most posts declare “HILLARIOUS”.
    Condemnation of Dr Chua for being TRUTHFUL over a Jiggy-Jig indiscretion that was Forgiven by The Only Genuine Offended Party, namely his Wife whom I believe to have conducted herself with MATURITY, DIGNITY & CLASS was no more than a National exercise in Hypocrisy, considering ASIANS are The MOST Prolific Peoples on Planet Earth. Chu-Chu simply practices what Asians do best. FACT that he did not even attempt to LIE puts him Head & Shoulders above the rest.
    Having said that, I most certainly wouldn’t want to be in Chu-Chu’s shoes at home, which is where extra-marital problems should be sifted & sorted.
    Has anyone heard from him since?? Lol!
    Have a musician friend who was caught spreading bodily fluids. his excuse “Chicks are forever offering twat to musicians, and occasionally I accept”. Though upset, his wife didn’t throw a fit, simply asserted as Her RIGHT to be sexually satisfied EVERYTIME,before he leaves home. His benefit was twofold:- First, he had no energy left for loose pousce floating about out there, AND, he discovered that the KICKS which attracted him out there was Exactly what was missing in his Marriage. Most mens’ EGOS prevent admitting that the Female Sex Drive is Stronger though more Controllable through Traditional Cultural Values. Where Traditional Culture has broken down WOMEN become the predators, letting men believe they’re in charge of-course.

  34. this post clearly express what’s in my mind regarding the lingam issue. reading articles about how the conversation goes between lawyers and defendant in the courtroom is giving me a good laugh. whenever there is a question addressed that is ‘difficult’ to be answered, those bastards will answer like a bastard =.=… LoL yeah..

  35. i think you should start your own standup comedy. or news parody. of course you’d have to deal with a lot of things.

  36. Applauses for u!Kenny!A big ass kicked for Coward Lingam!A Bird-Bird Cutted for Fucker Chauvinist pig Chua Suai Lik!Wat is HELL of the DAMN MALAY PIG goverment!!

  37. the lingam case just proves how little regard/respect these people (lawyers, judges, politicians) have for the malaysian public. they dont even feel a need to come up with plausible explanations for what they have done because obviously we, the public, are idiots and will swallow any crap that they choose to feed us. it just completely reminds me of the anwar case; mahathir treated us like idiots – the legal process was laughable and yet we just had to put up with it. heck! we even give them a mandate again – so, if these are the people running the country and the show, then i guess we are the ones to blame.
    where is the shame? how is it that these people who are supposed to be the most honourable amongst us are not just dishonest and immoral but completely unashamed about it? i just dont understand. it really saddens and sickens me

  38. Looks like him, sounds like him….because its him
    That guy is fighting for his life, cos what’s waiting for him isn’t just resignation.
    Still, people like that are utterly disgusting.
    Good job Kenny~

    “Fucks like me”
    indeed funny like shit
    btw if chua soi lek indeed talks like this perhaps he could really still maintain his post anyway.

  40. Good powerful men all have weaknesses. I rather they cheat or bonk personal friend.. then scumming the people of millions n billions of dollars and get away with it.
    Its just my 2 cents ..
    Kennedy n Clinton.. immune to sex scandals.

  41. great post! ah looks like you’re tulan and unhappy with the way things are going in malaysia. maybe it’s time you consider using your blog’s influence to get people to be more aware about the crap that’s going on with the barisan tulan.

  42. i’ve been reading your blog for 3 years now and u r really amazing. all these time, i’ve been living in aussie and this blog is THE thing that keeps me up to date about what’s Really happening in M’sia. Keep up the good work mate.

  43. VK Lingam is an ASSHOLE! what kind of answer is that! Then anyone can use the same excuse in court when commit murder! Sounds like me, Look like me, but it wasn’t me! Hey, who knows, u might be lucky to get away from the court. Bloody Lingam!

  44. CSL should have said, “Its not my fault….a stiff prick got no concience, rememeber….his fault…..the prick ”

  45. This was in Mahathir’s era. Why everyone still said that he help the economy. Anybody can do what he did. What so great about it? It is a matter of how to use the country’s resources. From oil, water, forest, people (especially politician & ballsuckers) he used it all. From the comments here, we Malaysian had forgotten that all this happened in that era, we Malaysian are still idiots. Who voted for that government to power is idiots. Are we going to think now? No! Because we are afraid to sacrifice of all the pampering (subsidies, the Titles, money, comfort) and the fears (ISA, police’s inaction/action, agent provocateur, the cronies) that those idiots provided. We are rotting inside. Beautiful (not even so) on the outside. Dear Malaysian, you have the idea now, that there is not check & balance. Is the government(executive) check & balance by the parliament & vice-versa? No! Is the government (executive) check & balance by the judiciary & vice-versa? No! The answer is another check & balance in the parliament. The 1st step is say “NO” to the 2/3 majority for the ruling government. We need to go that 1st step. General Election is coming. Vote for check & balance. Eventhough some of you are think that it makes no difference, but think in the form that the “pie” is being share to more “politician”. The greed in them will enhance the check & balance mechanism.

  46. awesome!!! u rock kenny, very well said… poor tulan soilek…even my grandmama wants to watch him bong his ‘personal friend’

  47. Bush is a dummy brought by Jewish to bring their ancient dreams to become real….one day American people will awake and destroy Jewish dreams.

  48. Heya Kenny,
    thanks for sharing your tots and creative ideas =) i’m not a Malaysian and as i was reading this post, i thought…
    is that how the political situation is like in Malaysia?
    how do you all feel about it and is there anything the average citizen can do?

  49. Heya Kenny,
    thanks for sharing your tots and creative ideas =) i’m not a Malaysian and as i was reading this post, i thought…
    is that how the political situation is like in Malaysia?
    how do you all feel about it and is there anything the average citizen can do?

  50. Just fantastic…Kenny, its so nicely written that something so serious and turn out to be so funny as well…all i can say is “OBSERVED (its obvious), THINK AND VOTE WISELY”, this is the one chance we have, to do something as an average citizen. 🙂 Cheers.

  51. Heya.
    thank u for your candid response!
    i think besides voting, the other issue is to influence people in their thought process with regards to the politicians and leaders in the country.
    how stringent would you say is the political climate in Malaysia. what are the lines are people can cross, and cannot?

  52. this is cool kenny. but i just have one concern… when ppl turn to laughter after this… and fail to see the seriousness behind it…
    but then again… everyone needs a good laugh.

  53. Ironic humor can be entertaining if executed well but attaching your judgment(specifically, ‘tulan’) to the picture of the victims surmounts to a lack of empathy. With all due respect, he could be sincerely apologizing FOR his behaviour. Other than that, thanks for the entertaining post.

    chua should have said
    my eyes havent lost its virginity!
    that would me effing funny!
    sometimes i feel that as humans we dont get enough chances to lie when we are kids
    but anyway dis post rocks!
    i should have started reading blogs when i was a kid!

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