Inspiration Alan Salon Review

Alan Salon
Inspiration Alan Salon is arguably the largest hair salon chain in Sarawak. The founder and lead hairstylist Alan Ch’ng first started operations in Miri and, over the next 15 years, opened up 7 outlets in Sarawak and 1 in KL, teaching many up-and-coming hairdressers and earning multiple awards himself in the process.
Alan Salon

Apart from hair salons, Alan also runs two restaurants in Miri, serving specialty dishes such as Roasted Pony Tails, Steamed Braided Buns and Curly Fried Hair.

Alan’s base in Kuching is located at Hock Lee Centre. Prominently displayed at its entrance is a collage of photos featuring Alan’s appearances at various hairshows, as well as photos of him doing the hair of Miss World contestants from a while back. (Gee, I sometimes wish I were doing those Miss World contestants as well.) With such impressive portfolio, I couldn’t help but to entrust them in fixing up the same ol’ hairstyle I’ve been wearing for the past 22 years.

Looks more like a department store than a hair salon

The salon’s interior design is enough to make you feel like a superstar walking into your very own dressing room. They make really good use of colours, lighting and choice of furniture to create that fantastic star-like atmosphere. The place not only looks great but it smells great too. A lot of el-cheapo hair salons out there tend to stink worse than toilets. Not Alan’s.

Why are LCD Monitors required in a hairdressing place? I have no idea.

In the center of the salon is the Color Bar. I pretty sure that has something to do with cashing in on the youth’s penchant to change their hair colour these days.
LCD monitors are everywhere in the salon, some broadcasting MTV and others showcasing slides of the latest products by L’Oreal. Because you’re worth it. 🙂

God knows what service they have for an extra RM20 in their VIP Room

By Kuching’s standards, Alan’s prices is definitely the dearest I’ve seen thus far. I think its still reasonable because you do pay premium prices for premium services, and Alan Salon sure looks like they can deliver premium services.

Who’s that weirdo carrying a digital camera around everywhere he goes?

This is me before my haircut. Scruffy, haggard and unshaven.
Everytime I go to hair salons, I’d opt for a Cut & Wash and there’s a reason for that. After a hard week at work and barely getting enough sleep at home, there’s nothing more satisfying than having your hair washed and pampered by a seasoned professional.
See, usually when you get your hair washed, the hair salon throws in a complimentary a head, neck and shoulders massage as well – and that’s exactly what I’m after. Its true, getting your (upper) head massaged at the hair salon by some sweet young pretty sexy girl is the closest thing you can have to an affair, without actually committing adultery yourself!
Thank God for hair salons! I couldn’t wait. 🙂

What the foot?! Don’t they know that is a no-no to have a guy massaging another guy’s head?! Yalah yalah, I know I’m lucky because at least he’s massaging my upper head and not my lower head. BUT STILL! This is BLASPHEMY!
You know what the freakiest thing is?
He had the audacity to ask me, “So how? Is it hard enough for you?”
I almost ran away with shampoo still on my head.

Why does it seem like he’s enjoying the massage more than I am?

To his credit, his massage was good. I’m not saying I enjoyed it. But its good lah ok? Got power.
I’ve seen people rate restaurants and movies etc like they rate hotels – ie, they give them how many stars out of 5 stars. I’m tempted to use the same rating system for the massage. But then I thought, it shouldn’t have to be that complicated. In my opinion, a massage could only be rated into 3 grades:
(A) “Good.”
(B) “Average.”
(C) “Oi, you first day at work ah?!”
In this case, I’d say “Good.” But since they used a guy instead of a girl, I shall demote them to “Average.” Because they’re worth it.
Dimly lit

He said he wanted to ‘plug me’ into the Matrix

So after the shampoo I was led to a dimly lit room under the guise of “rinsing my hair”.
Its partitioned. No one could see us. There’s a place for me to lie down. And then it was just me, and him. I was scared. I should have worn double underwear.
Towel head

I survived the ordeal. My asshole is still a virgin.

Amazingly I turned out unharmed.
I noticed there’s a menu on my table. Apparently Alan Salon serves drinks and snacks to their customers as well. I reckon that’s a nice touch. All the items are reasonably priced. Their café latté for example costs merely RM3. I hadn’t had my caffiene fix for the day so I ordered a latté without hesitation.

Hairstylists must be paid really little. Why else do they look so skinny?

My appointed hairstylist is a professional called McPhee Vu. I was asked if I just wanted a straight haircut. Normally I’d say yes, but considering I’m paying so much for a premium hair cut, I replied “No lah. Feel free to do whatever you want to do with my hair. Be creative.”
As soon as I uttered those words, I looked at some of the hairstyles the staff there are sporting. And I regretted almost immediately.

George Michael’s long lost son sighted in Kuching

SHIT! If he made me look like that THEN HOW?!
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the café latté I ordered was served. And I could not believe my eyes.

Worst. Coffee. Ever.

Excuse me… What is a plastic spoon and a straw doing in my hot coffee? Why is my coffee lukewarm? Why is it served on a juice glass? You think I’m ordering ‘oleng juice’ is it?! I’m sorry but this is the sorriest excuse for a latté ever!
Goddammit if you don’t know what a café latté is, don’t put it on your menu. Its like going to a restaurant to eat Peking Duck and they serve you KFC instead. DOUBLE BLASPHEMY!!!

I had no idea what McPhee had up his sleeves.

Its a scary feeling having a haircut with absolutely no idea what I might end up looking like. My hair was at his mercy. Fifteen minutes later McPhee came up with a spiky hairdo – a drastically different hairstyle than the one I’m used to.
I’m not sure if I like it. I’m not even sure if I can get used to it. Its gonna feel odd not needing to comb my hair when I wake up in the morning.

Why do I always seem to have more hair after a haircut?!

Here’s a comparison of the old Kenny versus the new Kenny.
I honestly don’t know what to make of this new hairdo. On one hand I’m comfortable with my old hair, but on the other hand I wanted to try something new.
I reckon the new hairstyle looks funky. Too bad it also makes me look like a lala-zhai who spends 16 hours a day in arcade gaming centres. All I gotta do is dye my hair bright blond, wear a my shirt unbuttoned halfway, install some shiny silver accessories on me and I’d be well on my way to lalazhai-dom.

“KNN! CCB! What?! See what see?! Wanna fight ar!?”

What do you think?

103 Replies to “Inspiration Alan Salon Review”

  1. holy cow I see Initial D arcade racing machines in the background. Totally off the topic, lol. Long time never visit an arcade to play =/

  2. Hehehe…I dun see any different wif ur new ‘hair-cut’…i tot i saw only the u before wif tidy hair and the u after, wif messy hair…hehehe…anyway, tat’s a nice review! Cheers!

  3. Hamsem! (no…im straight by the way)
    i wish i could style hair like yours…but mine is spoilt …fine hair in the center…cant style much…so i end up looking boring fuddy duddy. Im envious!! Hahahaa

  4. hahah kenny…seriously la…the last photo you really need photoshop to add more hair…cos one part looks bald, like those half plucked chicken feather XD jk…anyway i suggest you to go pharmacies and buy clay(Gatsby hair product) These kind of hair styling product is best for your lala hairstyle.

  5. oh yeah…that guy who massage you looks really ah pon…he looks like wanna eat u up lidat lol! anyway i wonder what they would think when someone cut hair also need to bring camera lol

  6. eH kenny….so its like u ask a junior cut hair 15RM n 22RM for proffesional hair cut?..jiat lat leh..and wad abt the other menu …”hairwash” 22RM and then “just blow dry” 15RM? so its like i say i cut 15RM+ i wash hair 22RM den obviously i nid him 2 dry my hair up after i wash right so anth 15RM? tats alot…..and btw…tat guy tat molested ur upper head..his frm our school 2..ur junior,my senior..
    3RM latte…u jes cant hope much frm kch alah kenny..not like u dont know..i recommend u save up ur money and go 2 emporium at serberkas like me and HB…chio bus gurantee!! Teeheehee

  7. be grateful you still got a head of hair… =)
    i went to have a haircut in some suburb in Melbourne, and this Hokkien skeaping auntie didn’t bother to listen to my instructions…. I wanted it shorter. Student mah… and she keep saying “cannot boy, if not not proportionate to your face… you want your face long long ah?”

  8. Lol hey awesome hairstyle man. You look younger atleast haha. Not that you were old in the other pics la but this sure does turn the notch a little.
    Keep it black man. Theres still a border between lala-chai land and normal lol.

  9. they hav done a great job.
    i think you look years younger with that new style you have!
    lalachai style is popular now ,u know?

  10. Heey!,.. just dropping by to say a HUGE thank you for making my day always with your ever-so-farnie entriees. GOod job dudee!,.. You’ve been much appreciated! =)

  11. Dude…You look freaking awesome in the new haircut! I’m serious here, it’ll maybe turn some heads(hopefully some females)
    And may I point out that you’re wearing the same T-shirt that you wore in your Friendster picture and I think in other pictures throughout the blog too. Is it your favourite shirt? It looks good! Where did you get it? I’m thinking of getting it myself, makes me more “Kenny”, with big balls and a Big Bird too. ^_^

  12. kenny,kenny….you actually held that camera throughout the ordeal? the hairstylists never notice or ask anything at all? hahaha….
    your hairstyle is trendy enough, lah…don’t worry, but use wax for styling, not hair gel as it will make it look ‘less’ and you can play around with hair volume with wax or pomade…have fun 😀

  13. Hey dude, I went to Alan’s, told the girl I wanted a sciccor cut, she went “no lah, so mah fan” Tiau ah, so I requested another hair dresser and later left a 50% tips.
    Can put a picture of Woody Wood pecker next to the After picture ?

  14. eh yer hairstyle look nice leh. not bad lah. =) loves it.
    yeap, they hv like 4 Alan saloons here in miri. my mom n sis loves it there. n i got my fringe cut few weeks ago in alan by dat mean mcphee dude. yea, sadly i never got my hair cut by alan himself.

  15. Hahaha! Hey, just want to let you know your entries are always able to cheer me up!
    Btw, you really do look much younger in your new hair! =D

  16. AHHAHAH!!! hey kenny, your face too ‘lau-shi’ to be lala-zhai lah! hiak hiak hiak!
    p.s: eh, i got a request for you…since you’ve been mentioning bout nicole in your past posts, why not dedicate an entry bout u guys and how u meet (in more details..not the preview on oz one) hehe!! my turn to ask liao! =p

  17. “He had the audacity to ask me, “So how? Is it hard enough for you?”
    I almost ran away with shampoo still on my head.”

    i almost died with laughter! i just discovered your blog recently, and it’s really good! heh! very funny! keep up the great job! oh! and your new hairstyle looks really nice~

  18. Oh man, the hairstyle’s funky! But it looks as though you’ll need some gel to make it look that way. Oh boy… love those captions for every single one of those pictures. And the cheena George Michael damn hamsum also.

  19. Sashi, if looks could kill, I’d be a weapon of mass destruction. 😉
    Mossism, dye my hair pink? What do you think I am? Xiaxue?
    Chewxy, eh eh eh… why can’t stop laughing? I look that bad meh?
    Keen, yeah welcome to the PS2 and XBox era. 🙂
    Lisa, what do u mean no difference?! You mean I paid RM32 just to have the stylist mess up my hair?!
    Jayelle, lucky for me… looking younger does not equate to my coconuts turning younger. 😀
    quesarah, gee thanks. how ’bout a date?
    9, a lotta money to a good hairstylist should fix the problem. 🙂
    NSDS3, you’d have that kinda expression if you’re massaged by a guy as well.
    tiffy, if cannot keep it up mah buy viagra loh.
    Schnorng, you? Ah Beng? No lah. You, David Tao? Yeap.
    bUttsH4k3r, err… I’m balding on the left hand side.
    kahsoon, actually i did end up buying a clay product from them. RM49 for a L’Oreal. Because I’m worth it. 🙂
    GAMBs, no lah I just paid RM32 for the whole lot. I think they forgot to charge me an extra RM3 for the latte as well probably ‘cos they *know* its crap. Heh. Yea my next haircut should be in about 6 weeks time, +/- 2 weeks. Lets go cheong er… hair salons?
    Jason, so long as you don’t laugh ‘cos I look funny with my new hair…
    davidteoh, i hate hairstylists who can’t take instructions. its like… ITS MY HAIR DAMMIT NOT YOURS!
    N-KyoKun, yea I know. I doubt I’d ever dye my hair. In my opinion, black is the new black. 🙂
    Kenny Lee, really? Right I’m adding some silver chains/earrings/necklace/bracelets to my shopping list. 🙂
    Ash, remember to go click the *cough*Ad*cough*Sense*. heh.
    SY, yea I know the towel looks good on my head.
    Lyon, heh. I actually got it whilst I was still in Perth (AUD50 at David Jones’ Clearance Sale). Its bodyfitting and I used to wear it quite a lot when I was slim and fit. But now that I’ve gained 12kg….
    Hsin Ee, gee u make me sound like I’m old. 🙂
    AgentX, no lah of course I asked them for permission before I snap those photos. I told them I’d put them online and they’re happy they’re getting free publicity.
    e, errr… no? But I do have a woody wood pecker in my pants. jk.
    ThunderFoxy, HAHAHAHA! McFurry?! Sounds like I need to make an appointment with Alan to see what the fuss is all about.
    ElDiablo, its not funny when you’re on the receiving end…
    esther, first time commenting? 🙂 Thanks.
    Jase, how old do I look like with my old hairstyle?
    Tess, I would write about it but the “girlfriend censorship board” holds power over
    minishorts, rocking!
    eLaine, hey do come back again.
    JiaYuan, GEORGE MICHAEL’S SON LOOKS HAMSUM!? ehhh what water you’ve been drinking lah! Hamsup yalah. Hamsum?! NOOOOOOOOO
    cheryl, I was still innocent when I was 18. Things have changed…
    doc, EXACTLY! Feel very violated right?!
    Saffron, I’d keep it, but stubbles are bad for kissing. Not that I’ve been doing much kissing.
    lilian, I…. was trying to hide that fact.

  20. Wuahahah! You should dye the ends of your hair blonde and that would complete the look!
    BTW, it’s nice that you still answer every single comment.

  21. Man! Kenny…I really do feel sorry for you!! Hopefully it grow back normal soon!! but..come on at least your blog entertained me! hehehe!I can’t stop laughing and actually having an ‘indirect’ exercise that is better than even a stomach crunch!
    Talking bout Alan Salon, it reminds me on how I use to go to Alan’s Hair Do salon in Kuching (forgive me, I dont know the address! I usually visiting my mom’s relatives in Kuching during summer and hence always ask one of my ke poh aunty to bring me there to cut my hair)..anyway, all i know is that it is located at the back of a town house or something and apparently people says that Ah Tek – the owner and the only hairdresser is the brother of a hairdresser called Alan, I wonder whether it might be the same person as the salon owner u talked about..hehe!
    On the other hand, you should feel lucky, mate, for at least having a massage! I went to a bloody Vidal Sassoon academy thingy in London three years ago. Yes, it is cheap (a cut and blow dry in a normal Vidal Sassoon salon will usually cost a whooping GBP35.00 but in their academy, “as a model” you only paid them GBP5.00! but Oh-God i regret it so much! The whole cutting thing lasts for about 4 hours! and it feels like 10 decades! My face was all red because of the hot blow dryer and my hairdresser wasn’t even interested in talking to me cos apparently he is Japanese and he dont understand english! he even need an interpreter to interpret the whole conversation between him and the local british teacher! OK, the outcome was not so bad, but i wasnt sure whether it worth 4 hours seating like a doll not being able to move!
    But yeah, to cut the story short, hope your hair grow back to normal soon!

  22. oh gosh~ ur expressions (when being massaged) is Priceless!! haha~
    And isit my eyes playing tricks on me or did u sit in the salon for so long that ur stubbles seem to haf grown thicker? *giggles*
    And i think u shld indeed try to highlight ur hair~ duun DIY though 😉

  23. hey guys, i donno bout you, but have you ever realize that nearly all saloon’s head-hairdresseer or the tao-ke are called ‘Alan’? Alan in Hock Lee, Alan of Rejuvenate in Crowne Tower, Alan of Alan Hair Do behind Parkson……and i bet there’s at least an ‘Alan’ in every hair saloon!
    p.s: next time if you don’t want your child to be a hair-dresser, remember not to name him ‘Alan’. =p haha!

  24. It was once when I tried a student hairstylist (still learning), I almost cried looking at what she did to my hair. Luckily the director come over and do some touch up and it went off well, of course with all the pain on the neck and water splashes when she is washing my hair. Will never go for it again.
    By the way, not bad la ur hairstyle. ohohohohoho :p

  25. wah seh new hairstylee. not bad! means u gotta spend a fair bit of time in front of the mirror now to get that messy look =p

  26. There’s nothing worst than BAD COFFEE! Your haircut is nothing like bad coffee. Its GREAT!!!

    I have to try very hard not to laugh while reading your blog with my regular caffie fix in the morning. If I laugh and it probably come out from my nose. And I will smell nothing but coffee for the day.

    You should have at least 1 China IP now. But I am a Singaporean reading your blog in China. =p

  27. Do not ever say this to your hairdresser if you want to walk out the shop in one piece and “recognisable” by your peers:
    “Feel free to do whatever you want to do with my hair. Be creative.”

  28. Oh Please! DYE YOUR HAIR — Green and Purple!! Please!!! This entry was so friggin hilarious… i don’t know what i’d do if u chronicled dying ur hair!
    pee in my pants?!

  29. First you looked really horrified sitting in that chair during the massage.
    Second, the guy really looked like a pervert.
    Third, the ‘cafe latte’ sux.
    So what is the rating for this salon? Overall.
    Your new hairstyle rocks. Seriously. You should be glad to have gone for a change of style.

  30. nice lah kenny…both ur hairstyle and your post..
    u shud be chairing ISC with this sort of hairstyle..i’m sure NLC’ll elect u as a convenor..

  31. Hsin the Yuek, that could only mean that I’m really really *that* boh liao.
    Jen, FINALLY! Somebody who thinks that I’ve made the wrong decision! 😀 Then again, many ppl say my new hair nicer woh. So I think I’ll keep it. heh. Like vss3t said, there’s many Alans out there who run hair salons. But yeah I saw a couple of ads advertisting “free hair cuts” at exclusive hair salons like Maurice Meade in Perth. I was tempted to go once since I was broke. Luckily my ‘no free thing is good’ policy prevented me from becoming a hair dressing disaster.
    midnight-walk, Witticism?
    suspriciousbastard. Actually I DID *cough* get a marriage proposal *cough*before. I rejected. Its not her, its me.
    sassyjan, hmm… now that so many guys out there have highlighted their hair, I reckon staying black kinda stands out more. 🙂
    Knight, haha! I shall call this new hairstyle… the MACHO MAN HAIRSTYLE.
    Tess, now that you’ve pointed it out it kinda make sense. I also realise all the crazy guys out there are called ‘Kenny’.
    surfnux, that’s why you should always pay more for a better service!
    Chrissie, its not that bad lah. It needs my hair to be pretty dry for it to stay up. All that means is that I gotta wash my hair every single day that’s all.
    judebabe, agree! Bad coffee is a crime against caffeine addicts like us. 🙂
    h.liew, good advice. 😉
    cypher, I told you! That’s why I regretted not wearing double underwear.
    soccer5sg, dye my hair gold? and look like what? David Beckham?
    faithtoh, dye my hair green and purple? and look like what? A brinjal?
    ct, all is forgiven if they deliver a good hair at the end of the day. 🙂 4 out of 5 stars.
    yellowant, good advice… maybe I won’t get slapped next time I try to talk to a chick there!
    JonChoo, perhaps. Shall try other hair salons next time round. 😀
    kherying, me chairing NLC? Nahhh… I should go for the Adrian Wong hair style then.

  32. eeh be careful if you see those teenage girls stalking you.. hahaha.. you look younger.. Go and dye your hair bronze,then u will really look like those anime big eye character

  33. you look younger with your new haircut….hrmm how come i never heard of this saloon b4 le….is it even more expensive that sheldon? anyway, keep up with ur blogs n pics….:)

  34. omg kenny… your blog is really funny. and your english is better than ziaxue’s, that’s for sure. i feel inspired to write my blog, oh fuck, i’ll do go do it right now. thanks for the laughs man… love your entries.

  35. oh yeah and i’ll tell you what, your hair sucks. (just to balance out the previous post… ;))

  36. first time here..nice to meet ya..i m adeline..
    hav fun reading ur blog..
    i juz love to go hair salon when ever i feel like going..
    u look better with ur new hairstyle..hehe..
    nice piece of work

  37. Whahahah thats funny ! But they are charging the quite an expensive fees for a haircut in kuching. Its almost as same as in KL . U should take more pics of the shampoo char booh u r mentioned! whahah

  38. Hi Kenny, stumbled upon your site after someone sent me your write up on Kuching’s long roundabout names. And I had a good laugh on this inspirational write up. Was actually rolling on the floor! 🙂
    Interestingly as well, we share the same surname! Chinese and english writing wise. Are we related? Hmm? I look better though, ha! 🙂 Keep up the good writing. Cheers

  39. Hi Kenny, stumbled upon your site after someone sent me your write up on Kuching’s long roundabout names. And I had a good laugh on this inspirational write up. Was actually rolling on the floor! 🙂
    Interestingly as well, we share the same surname! Chinese and english writing wise. Are we related? Hmm? I look better though, ha! 🙂 Keep up the good writing. Cheers

  40. this alan haircut makes u look like a chaoahbeng only.. i like the toni one better.. alan is a branch from the famed alan from miri,methinks.
    in kch, go to RIGI II [next to the star cineplex building],u will see the big sign when u pass by the main road next to the cineplex.
    i dont know how good they r for men’s hairstyle, but they are TOTALLY FANTASTIC for women’s. ask for AH KWANG [the boss] and u will get a great attention-to-detail hairstylist with a swoonful voice. hahaha 😀 he never let anyone go out without looking perfect. and i think they r pretty reasonably priced.
    *three thumbs up*
    bestest in kch!! i swear.

  41. George Michael looks funny! the decor is good, but the staff…
    the ‘after’ pic is definitely better looking.. your forehead is ‘high’, so some fringe will look better on you. this is why you felt you were having more hair after the hair cut!

  42. its not dat Hairstylists are skinny its dat ur FAT! so FAT in real life but use computer to change your face. u think we dunno u photoshop ur face to look skinnier and MAKE a new jaw meh? cheh!

  43. Hey not bad lar the haircut..BOth this haircut and the one u got at the toni and guys are amazing..this proves that paying the expensive price is worth it!!!:)

  44. hmmmmm, richards at tun jugah is the best. Alan staffs at Parkson cant speak english. They ching chong with me. stupid ppl. and try crossing the street to HAIRDO at Sarawak Plaza. Beautiful boss. haha.

  45. hey kenny, u know that guy that cut ur hair? he was my master. he tought me everything. next time you go there, tell him you know me, Alvin. The one who is in melbourne rite now. cos there was 2 Alvins. hahah He might give you a discount! And a girl to wash your hair!!!

  46. i kinda like it ! it looks more funky and energetic than your more average homosapiend on the malaysian streets !

  47. aisehh. kenny u look handsome wat?! hahah
    getting massaged by a guy, can clearly see wat u had in mind through your face laaa ahahahaha.
    but u really make me roll on my bed in laughter wif the ‘george michael’s long lost son” ah!! haiya
    i bet if i meet dat guy in kuching, i will laugh so hard the police have to drag me to a mental institute!
    ahahahahahhaha u make my day!! LOL

  48. hey u!!! nice going wit the chao cheebye thingy u dick. well in my opinion, the guy should have raped u hahahaha jk, anyway all in all i might say it is a……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………wait lemme think…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….ummmm……………………………………………………………………………..well…………….dun angry ah……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………well yeah it looks like crap, i just gotmy hair done at the same salon and wow chicks flocks to me!!! hahhahaha u been punked!!~!

  49. Hi…just read ur blogs…i think it’s funny. Sorry didn’t get the chance to read all and if i missed out anything here. Anyway, I love goin to Alan’s inspiration hair salon in Bangsar and always use this guy (Tommy).I think he’s damn good with his job…and creative too. I always ask for his opinion. Anyway, i like ur haircut. U look so much better and macho than previous one. LOL!
    Keep up with the new you..!

  50. I was just looking for reviews for this salon since I’m new in malaysia. I chanced upon this. So funny!

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