Fuck Melbourne. Have You Seen The Kuching Shuffle?!

THE TIME…   Sunday, 24th April 2005.
THE PLACE…  outside Hock Lee Centre.
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Security guards… what are they laughing about? Why aren’t they doing their job?

Something was amiss.
Something wasn’t right.
A grand total of THREE security guards have set up a yellow barricade outside the shopping mall. Normally they’d be scratching their balls waiting for the time to go home. This was not normal. Something big must be happening. What’s going on?
My heart was thumping. My hands were shaking. Beads of sweat were forming on my forehead as I approached them slowly in anticipation.
And then I saw it.
I saw…
The Man…
The Machine…
The Phenomenal…

THE KUCHING SHUFFLER!

Kuching Shuffle

Behold… the one and only Kuching Shuffler!

Yes that’s right all you Melbourne Shuffling freaks out there. You can take your fancy pants and talcum powder and shove it up your ass. If you think you’ve revolutionalized the clubbing scene, THINK AGAIN. Yeah, yeah, you may have your big-ass dance clubs and your world famous DJs. But I’m telling you, its prime time you FEAR the Kuching Shuffle because dammit we’re taking the world by storm!
What’s this Zouk thing you’re talking about? We don’t need that. All we need is our cheap red shirt, cheap short pants and the cheapest sandals we can find from Bata. Grab the nearest visually-impaired busker with his electronic keyboard, and baby, we’re ready to SHUFFLE.
Kuching Shuffle

The Kuching Shuffler and DJ Blind – the best thing to have happened to the Kuching clubbing scene since Chivas and Green Tea

This is a momentous occasion for clubbers of Kuching and around the world. Which is why kennysia.com is introducing all new ‘maotee-media’ content in the form of downloadable videos!
(You do require Windows Media Player 9 or above to view WMV-format videos. If you haven’t got them installed, get them here. Do let me know if nothing is working.)
What are you waiting for?
Click to watch the ORIGINAL Kuching Shuffle video. (1.56 MB)

Kuching Shuffle
For a limited time only…
The Kuching Shuffle kennysia.com Remix. (2.07 MB)
and
The Kuching Shuffle kennysia.com Remix (Extended Edition). (6.88 MB)
Cower in fear now stupid Melbourne Shufflers.

48 Replies to “Fuck Melbourne. Have You Seen The Kuching Shuffle?!”

  1. Eh, damn good video la! And your remixes keep getting better! Are you going to revise it again, with an even more extended remix? Remix actually beat the original πŸ™‚

  2. you did it again…a new trend in the clubbing scene, watch out Zoukettes!
    KS definitely got the beat man…hahaha, DJ Blind in, Stevie Wonder out..and er..Ray Charles…dead

  3. Wah. Next time I go Kuching I must go and watch the Kuching shuffler.
    Kennysia make sure you bring me there. And I want his autograph!

  4. DidnÒ€ℒt notice that you mentioned sparing any change for our KuchingÒ€ℒs Steve Wonder, and I presume you did. I always drop a dollar or two as they always loosen me up, something I look forward to, as part of the experience heading to the mall.
    It is uniquely Kuching! And who needs the showcase when we have our own Steve Wonder?

  5. Kenny, i have to give you credit on your good pick on right rhythm to go with the move. That’s a creative mind πŸ˜‰

  6. Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.Lol, never thought we have so much to offer in Kuching.. And i thought the raving scene here at kl was awesome all along, >.

  7. GAMBs, sorry. πŸ™‚ Too good an opportunity to miss.
    Janus, if I see the guy again I’ll be sure to bring him to some studio. πŸ™‚
    JY, I know. I was amazed at myself too. πŸ˜‰
    kimm, hmm… good idea.
    NSDS3, Kuching Shuffler probably went to Melbourne to issue them with a shuffle challenge.
    midnight-walk + crazy, fun ritee?
    J Schnorng, HAHA! Yea its martial arts-cum-dance.
    aGentX, he’s taking over the visually-impaired music scene by storm, my man.
    uzyn, HIS autograph? what about mine?! Heh.
    ashie, yea they’re around every corner of the block. πŸ˜‰
    Pope, not only did I give DJ Blind some money, I gave the Kuching Shuffler a one ringgit note as well. πŸ˜‰ They’re both happy.
    davidteoh, but better.
    blackwidow, I’m actually quite surprised myself how well they match up. heh.
    ash, ooh yeah. If only they have disco lights. πŸ™‚
    xes, COWER IN FEAR!!!!
    Dan, heh. Featuring yourself?
    doc, doing the Kuching Shuffle requires taekwondo lessons and learning how to walk like a chicken.
    Ben, crouching tiger, hidden dragon, fried chicken shuffle.
    analgestic, pffftt… kl clubbing scene? pretentious and money-wasting! jk. πŸ™‚ I’m just jealous.
    hsin ee, you let me know. πŸ™‚
    kahsoon, HIM? on MTV Awards? No lah he’s gonna be too drunk to be on MTV. Hey wait wat am I talking about, you do need to be drunk to be on MTV.
    ahchuan, its my favourite as well.
    gabrielle, I’m at Kuching.

  8. ur all fkkkn idiots, is this a joke…?
    if this is the kuching shuffle then youve already lost to the melbourne shuffle..ahahah morons

  9. hi. i would just like to give you my thoughts on this. you can all go and munch on a fat dick. where are you from ? you wish you had your own dance. what do you have? the curry muncher dance? melbourne shuffler kills what ever the fuck that was. youuuuuuur aaalll iiiiiiiiiiiidiots.

  10. melbourne shufflers burn kentuky fried arsholes like kuching for fucking exercise bring a real challenge and so we can have fun!!!

  11. hey hey don’t bag the melbourne shuffle alright?
    we’re trying to keep up with the kuching rave scene here . (:
    but seriously . be nice to us shufflers kaay ?

  12. wahaha…god damn cool!…if got any competition we should bring them to join it haha. Dj Teisto V.S Dj Blind haha.

  13. What a bullshit artist you obviously dont know how to shuffle to u decided to make this Asian/Muslim shit up. One peice of advice: Idi Jebi Se!!!

  14. Wowowowo…
    wow there’s too many shufflers here criticising a joke! U look stupid man!
    I’m a shuffler myself, and i find this hilarious man! Have a sense of humour la my fellow shufflers!

  15. what type of dance is that? monkey dance or what? u know kenny u r disgrace to ur own country.. shame on u dont u hv a better job 2 do instead 2 look 4 crazy and sick ppl and promote urself with ppls disabilities, he is dj blind and u r dj asshole

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