inoT Toni

One of the best things about keeping a blog is that you get people from all walks of life commenting on your entries.
Comments are usually good. But every once in a while, somebody leaves a comment on your blog so bizarre, you go “What in the blue hell is this guy thinking?”

Case in point. When I wrote about my visit to Malaysian singer Guang Liang’s showcase in April, I did not expect it to become such a popular entry. Let’s face it, the showcase was boring, the photos I took were boring, and I didn’t even crack any stupid lame jokes in that entry.
Yet, even until today, I still get people who seriously think that I am Guang Liang, foolishly leaving me comments like “i likes u very much, especially ur song Tong Hua.”

Yesterday, something even more bizarre happened. Remember how I went to Toni&Guy in KL and wrote a review about it?
Take a look at what I got in my comment box of that entry.

Dear Sir,
I,Siddhartha Chatterjee age 26 year’s an Indian live in India,unqulified but english is good,doing a small business from last three year’s comeing from a very good family.
Sir,I want to do a hair dressing course from your school because I want to be a hairdresser the reason is, now in India max people go to beautiparlaor’s so its mean hairdresser have a great feture in India,so if I be a hairdresser then I can earn a lot more,so for that I want to do a coaurse for hair dressing from your school.So is it possible without qulification to do this couarse?I am really waiting for your reply soon.
Thanking You
Your’s Faithfully

Posted by: siddhartha at October 27, 2005 09:23 PM

WHAT. IN. THE. HELL? First I’m a poofter of a Malaysian singer, and now I’m a BLOODY HAIRDRESSING SALON!? What has the world come to!?
I feel bad for Siddhartha, really. I mean the guy is so professional, polite, nice and all that. I just can’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth, man. Seriously, it would be too cruel for me to simply brush him off, clarifying that I’m not actually Toni&Guy but THAT idiot in the photo getting his hair cut.

So I fired up Microsoft Word and drafted him a reply.

Dear Siddhartha Chatterjee,
I,Kenny Sia age 23 year’s a Chinese live in Kuching. I not Toni&Guy from KL.
Sir, I sorry I cannot teach you hair dressing coaurse from my school because I not hairdresser enaugh to teach you the reason is, I no no qulification.
I is just a normal person with max hair on my body so its mean I have to go to beautiparlaor very often to potong my hair.But never mind cos if you open a salon next time in India, I will ride an elephant to visit you at your beautiparlaor so you cut my hair and you can earn a lot more and have a great feture in India ok.I am really waiting to visit you soon.
Happy Deepavali
I Not Toni,
Kenny Sia.

I’m such an asshole.

Blog plug of the day: Merv Kwok

99 Replies to “inoT Toni”

  1. glad that you are back in Kuching… and updating the site frequently… anyway, have you heard about the three robbers trying to escape the law firm via the rubbish chute? now that is funny…

  2. Guang Liang, I loves u a lot and think u relli cute. I think that ur song Tong Hua is very nice. But I think u should not go with Ping Guan. I think u should not change your name to Toni or inoT. Michael is a name. Very stuitable for u. u should not go cut hair also. I want to hear ur sing!! Plz don’t go cut hair instead! ur fans will be veri sad if u cut hair and dun sing!
    Worried fan,
    michael addict

  3. Being a blogger, does it affect your actions outside blogging..I mean, do you do stuff for the sake of blogging it later on?
    Enjoy your blog, just felt this entry or your email reply was not befitting the earnest enquiry the Indian dude had.

  4. I don’t think you should use the word “potong” in your reply.Siddhartha Chatterjee age 26 year’s an Indian live in India, would probably not speak/understand MALAY ;p LOL

  5. Of course I didn’t reply that to him by e-mail! I’m mean, but not THAT mean.
    But that’s the only bizarre reply I could think of for a bizarre comment like that lah. πŸ˜‰

  6. Dude, that was pretty rude, the way you replied to that Siddharta guy. He did take the time to explain who he was, after all.
    Maybe it was a joke comment, maybe it wasn’t, but he did sound genuine.

  7. Chatterjee is a common Indian surname. I’ve an Indian colleague in Delhi with the same.
    The 2 comment items are indeed bizarre & funny, like those penile enlargement site that exhorts female bloggers to “come visit us if you have time” (read ‘come if you suddenly grow one’).

  8. Kenny!! the guy wudnt understand the meaning of potong :p , but nevertheless it was a gd thing that you were honest to him πŸ™‚ otherwise poor guy wud be waiting for a reply from Toni’s school πŸ™‚ oh by the way back welcome to Malaysia πŸ˜€

  9. “Hmm, maybe Siddhartha Chatterjee thinks you are Guang Liang and he would like to learn from you how to cut hair and sing “Tong Hua”
    Posted by: mmulibra at October 29, 2005 08:59 PM”
    R0FLMAO!! Not only did Kenny’s reply get my bursting out laughing, so did this comment. Brilliance!

  10. i noe sometimes you should take life with a pinch of salt and find humour in everything possible.
    but somehow, i can’t get myself to force out a laugh, not even a feeble one with that post.
    I think that’s quite overboard and somewhat tasteless. For goodness sake, I’m sure that boy meant well, but somehow, you all of 22, whipped out quite a juvenile-like respond to his email/comment.

  11. I’m such an asshole.
    You are. πŸ™ Regardless of whether the email was fake or real, that was a tad bit mean. Yay to you for having the balls to post this up, but a loud boo for mocking another person’s bad english.

  12. you are such an asshole, trust u to make fun of people, you know, its bloody obvious you wrote the dammm letter yourself. come on,think of better ways to attract attention alright. By the way, this is coming from an Indian with perfectly fine english.

  13. hey rita…get a grip and lighten up…Kenny do not only poked fun at indians… he poke fun at everything including himself…. so who cares whether its a genuine letter or not?…its funnie and thats all it matters… learn to appreciate humour whether it is poking fun at your race or religion… u will live a longer life πŸ˜‰

  14. Dear Kenny. Thank you. I laughed my ass off at that one.
    Reminds me of this joke that I got from my friend…
    A SCHOOLMASTER from a remote rural area was tranferred to aschool in Bombay.He reported for duty 2 days before August 15 and,as
    was the practice in the school,was asked to address the assembly on
    Independence Day.
    Here’s his dynamite speech(taken word for word):Leddies and Gentulmens,Contempories,Children,”This is my first maiden
    speech.If small small mistakes get inside my speech,I ask
    pardon.Stickly speeking,I wanted to joint your school more
    fastly,but for the following reason.Too much time lost in getting reservation for slipper reservation in three-tyre
    compartment.The clerk rejected to give ticket.I put complaint on station
    master.He said me to go to lady clerk.At first she also rejected.I then pressed her for long time and at last with grate difficulty she gave a birth only to my son.
    Anyway I thanked the station master because he was
    responsible for getting birth of my son.We got independent
    because of leaders like Gandhiji who get-outted all ‘angrezi’peoples from India.
    Tilak said Swaraj is our birth rate and we shall halve
    it.Today we all halve our birth rate.You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation.Look into future time only.No back side looking or looking at your behind.Be like grate like
    President like Loosebelt.
    You know genius,no?It is one percent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation.
    They became grate by reading grate books.After we
    finish you here in the school,you can go to college and get B.A,M.A and other decrease.Then you can become grate liars in the supreme
    courts,shattered accountants or lecherers in college.
    The school is like a garden.You are the seeds,school isthe soil.We will bury you in this soil,pour water of knowledge
    your heads and one day will become grate phools.
    Many vacany job come in newspapers.Only yesterday I saw in paper
    “Wanted for refuted engineering firm:Generators,highpowercondensors” so and so forth,etc.
    These jobs may be tecknikel,but you can rise.If you have flare in English,you can become teacher.I am now ending this fastly.My God blast you!Thank you and thank God I am finished.
    Joy Hind!

  15. Soli lar. Me no speaking English very good.
    How much marnee to open a shop like yours in Saratok ah? Ten tausend dorrers enuff or not arr?

  16. Oh boy, if you thought reading this entry was funny, try the “Listen to this entry” link.
    The last half read out is a killer.
    Which reminds me — Happy Halloween!

  17. Oh no, Guang Liang from Toni and Guy…you’ve shattered the dreams of a good Indian man of being a great hairdresser…
    He’s now not only stuck in his unsatisfying job, he also got dissed about his English while at it!
    Funny how people don’t get the concept of blogging tho.. XD

  18. I clicked ‘listen to this entry’ – it was so damn funny. Is it done through some automated super system thingy? I mean… some of things said were just… All the M’sian slang was totally gone, the accent, the ‘feeling’… all replaced by some machine-like voice. I could hardly understand it, except for: “I’m such an asshole.” That was loud and clear.
    Seriously, though. Why are some people so hung up on the mock-reply? It’s not as if Kenny would have really posted it, as he had said it himself. And the thing about Kenny shouldn’t have dissed the guy’s English.. Let’s face it. Most of us would think it’s funny. Especially since he said he has good English. If Kenny was saying that all Indians have horrible English, that’s another thing. But he’s not.

  19. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what kenny said lah. Just read and move on… just a joke what..and people are making unnecessary remarks over a harmless joke. Like as if people don’t do that at all, from other aspects?

  20. Honestly what is wrong with making fun of this guy who mistakenly thought Kenny was Toni. That mock letter was probably a fake. Kenny just did what any regular funny guy would have done. Geez.

  21. What you can do is at least pass him Toni & Guys address and contact so he can contact them himself. It’s up to them to “Accept” him or not… Friends from India actually refer Deepavali as Diwali??

  22. what you tlkaing? is that for me. you hairdresser enaugh to let me go this couarse. are you no no acceptig me? please i want laern from you cos india max people go beautiparloar so i want have a good feture in India.
    Accept Me
    Your’s Faithfully

  23. It’s amazing Siddartha knows how to use the internet but do not understand the content of it. And he just posted a message 2 posts above me. ZzZzz

  24. u r an ultimate asshole!!
    btw, is your asshole very hairy too? do u have problem with bits of tissue getting tangled there?

  25. i believe kenny din send tat mail.. he made it clear..
    “So I fired up Microsoft Word and ‘drafted’ him a reply.”
    without these kind of ppl (i believe kenny din send tat mail.. he made it clear..
    “So I fired up Microsoft Word and ‘drafted’ him a reply.”
    without these kind of ppl (

  26. hahahahahahaha!! tht had me laughing aloud for 3 minutes n grinning sillily for another 20.. πŸ™‚ well, its stil kinda mean tho.. wat if he comes back to this page? haha.. but thn a joke’s a joke, n everyone shdnt take it so seriously la! πŸ™‚

  27. i hope you didnt send that email. making fun of another person’s misinterpretation (in this case, very misinterpreted!) is rather evil dont you think?

  28. some readers are just stupid enough not to be able to differentiate jokes. If there is no jokes, there is no If you think this is sensitive, you are even better off throwing flames at International Comedians who speak more harm rather than wasting your time acting to be fair here.

  29. Actually I don’t think this is a good thing to mock his English ability or whatsoever.
    There’s a place for humor, always.. as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.
    In this case, it does..

  30. I’ve read your blog for some time. This entry disappoints me.
    To think in the opposite way, what would you feel if others treat you like this? Sure you won’t laugh along this kind of joke.

  31. Can you help me contact Princess Tega? She would like to share some of her money with me. Together we can discuss the mondalities of the transaction, and I am sure both of us could use the cash.
    ADDRESS:03 BP 25687 ABIDJAN 03
    It is my pleasure to write you after much consideration since I can not be
    able to see you face to face at first, i believe you will never fail
    me.Being the first and the only Daughter of my father, late PRINCE DENNIS
    TEGA from BETE in Republic of COTE D’IVOIRE Africa I am 21years of age. My
    father was limited liability cocoa and gold merchant in ABIDJAN before his
    untimely death after his business trip to SWITZERLAND, to negotiate on a
    cocoa business.
    A week after he came back from SWISS, he was assassinated with my mother by
    unknown assassins. Which my mother died, instantly, but my father died after
    five days in hospital, on that faithful afternoon. I didn’t know that my
    father was going to leave me after I had lost my mother. But before he gave
    up the ghost, it was as if he knew he was going to die. my father, (may his soul rest in perfect peace) he disclose to me that he deposited the sum of
    3MILLION U.S DOLLARS in a PRIVATE BANK here in ABIDJAN. That the money was
    meant for his cocoa business he wanted to invest in Abidjan- Côte d’ Ivoire.
    Though, according to my father he deposited the money in his own name .
    He single handed me over the document and logging and verifying informations
    , and instructed me to seek for a life time investment partner abroad. Now I
    have succeeded in locating the BANK in here and also confirmed the fund is
    in there , most honest and confidentiality. Now I am soliciting for your
    assistance to help me lift this money out from The BANK to your account
    abroad so that we should invest it in any lucrative business in your
    I am Waiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the
    modalities of this transaction, Thanks for your kind attention and mutual
    understanding.If you are willing to help me out kindly send me you full
    contact information such as your direct telephone and fax number.
    Best regards

  32. hai sir, please i want with out qulification and i have job but please tell me what job well be nice job. please send the message for me ok bye sir.
    your’s faithfully

  33. sir,
    hello sir how are u ‘i think u fine but i am not fine’ because i have no job means i have no qulification and that much, i am now not doing job please give me any clue for job and message for me sir, ok sir bye have nice day.
    your’s faithfully

  34. I have to agree with u that u are most definitely right about declaring urself as an asshole.
    I honestly reckon u are one of those lousy individuals who think so superior of themselves, juz becuz u have the privilege of a proper education and living in a country that promotes multiracial living.
    What u may be dismissing Mr. is that u are a minority urself in this very country and plz do not make a mockery of other living being’s shortcomings. To me it seems that Mr. Siddharta is an honest and determiend person, who wants to make a good and honest living. He has nevertheless some difficulty in comprehending, but that simply does not make him inferior, he merely was seeking ur assistance. Forgive his mistake for he thought of u as a good person to ask of that favor, but u have failed him as ‘U’, mate, are nothing but a crude, insensitive, condescending, disappointing malaysian…
    May u never be in the same situation as him, for unlike him, it would drive u to ur utmost shame!
    Remember u are not living a country of ur own and u are not where u are becuz of only u, surely u have stopped to ask for direction or ask for a favor in many small and big ways, and remember dont do something to others that u dont wants other to do upon u… u are so sad… cuz u cant find other sort of entertainment to please ur sad self that u take pleasure in disgracing others… entertaining and having a light heart is good for health but this is a disgrace to our cultural upcoming… asians are believed to be kind and hospitable… dun let that perception be extinguished juz like the little pride u still have in u…
    cheers and oh, have a nice day, u shud be terribly proud with the amount of support u have had for that entry, never mind me to think that we are the new generation and we live in a civilised world…

  35. Retarded. I was searching for key word “Toni&Guy Malaysia”, ended up here,unfortunately. Shame on u,for thinking lowly of your own country and for abusing English in that way.Im sorry that you’re not born to be one of the good-lookings, you actions and words just make ur already not-so-pleasant-looking face looks uglier. With that kinda look, u ought to be very humble indeed.

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