If Egyptians Speak Cantonese

What is it with popular tourist spots and lousy names?

I thought Thailand’s “Similan Island” has the worst name ever for a tourist spot.
Obviously, I was wrong.

Kenny: “Taxi! Taxi!”
Egyptian Taxi Driver: “Hello my friend. Where you want to go?”
Kenny: “NIAMAH BAY!”

McDonald’s in Egypt has plasma screens, free WiFi internet and they play kickass chill out music from Cafe Del Mar. On top of that, they serve McARABIA BURGER! What kinda name is McArabia Burger?!
If McDonald’s back home is as good as they are over here, I’m so gonna stuff myself McSilly and become so McFat.

118 Replies to “If Egyptians Speak Cantonese”

  1. wooohooo…i’m fast…
    and i dont understand the meaning too…wad does ni amah bay means? bay means wad???

  2. hahahahaha
    cant stop laughing
    hey kenny r u going to blog more bout ur egypt trip?
    really hope you will
    egypt is one of my most fav country in the world

  3. Ne’-a-ma/Ni-a-mah is directly translated to “your mother” in Hokkien. The “bay” bit doesn’t really make much sense though (at least to me =P).
    Wonder if there’s a Ne’-a-pa/Ni-a-pa somewhere in Egypt?

  4. There are plasma tvs and wireless internet in Singapore’s Mcdonalds’ too but I find the plasma tvs annoying because they show Mcdonalds’ ads half the time and I’m really not lovin’ it.

  5. LOL!!!
    The foreigners might be laughing at the names of our places too~
    Foreigner: Exciuuuz me Sir, can yeew helpu me, I’m lost.
    Kenny: My pleasure! Where do you want to go?
    Foreigner: *pointing “Kuala Lumpur” on the map* Kua-Lu-Lam-Par~

  6. ooh i’m so glad to see you posting up to keep us entertained the 1st thing i wake up in the morning: i had one of the worst dreams in years in the whee hours of the morning, dreaming that our beloved kenny was.. you know. it scared the shit out of me, and the 1st thing i wanted to do once i managed to open my eyes was to check out if you’re still well and safe.
    anyway, since i’ve spoken out about the dream, it will not come true anymore, phew.. so you take good care of yourself and be back home safe ya!

  7. you always making funny of people and their culture/language. do you think your language is perfect and non-laughable? sometimes you need to be more sensitive. there WILL be a time that you, yes, that means yourself, will be EMBARRASSED in front of people…. a lot of people…

  8. haha! good post. both ne’ama and kuala lumpur(kua lu lam par) is great Haha..
    so next time if somebody mess with me then i can ask him go to visit ne’ama bay!
    then if ppl stare at me, i’ll tell him “kua kua kua.., kuala lumpur”

  9. Hahahaha funny as usual………Nia Mah Bay……….lolx………..you just manage to find places with vulgar names dont you Kenny…….hahha, anyways enjoy your trip to NIA MAH BAY and do tell us whats its attraction there……^^

  10. HAHAHA.. Ni-a-mah = your mom/gramma is it?
    then the Bay could also means the bye in c*** b** lor i think.
    Similan already so funny then there comes the Niamah bay

  11. R u watching Grey’s Anatomy????
    “If McDonald’s back home is as good as they are over here, I’m so gonna stuff myself McSilly and become so McFat.”
    Makes me think of McDreamy and McSteamy knocking themself ‘McSilly’. lol

  12. doh!! typo. themselves, not themself. btw, u should consider an edit key to our comments, just in case we regret for for for for not spell spell spell checking. 😉

  13. watlao eh u ppl…non of u get it right la…
    it’s cantonese…naimah means ‘tit mum’ in direct translation…also means someone who breast feeds a child la….
    naimah does not have to b the child’s mum….cus not every woman has much milk….
    get it now? ppl….naimah= tit mum

  14. Yup, Ne’ama (pronounced nick-muh) means ‘Pleasure’. Pleasure Bay, literally. 🙂
    That ‘ in Ne’ama doesn’t mean you need to separate it in between letters. It simply connotates that you need to pronounce it with an ‘eek’. The ‘a’ is more like a silent ‘a’.
    Such is the language of the Arabs…

  15. Before u proceed with ur post saying ur language is better than other races…learn how to read in arabic language. obviously im ur fan but..since u start making a jokes on others cultures…i think u are less IQ then most of us.
    The correct spelling is NIK’MAH meaning pleasure. As i saw other reader give the same meaning. Arabic government allowed outsiders like Kennysia to enjoy their beach or bay..but not expecting to laugh to their respective name. I dont know what Kuching town in their languages means..maybe ‘suck ur own dick?’….

  16. LOL! *fall off from my chair*
    Similan + Nia ma bay….
    Started reading not long ago.
    Its “entertaining”.. keep up the good work
    Peace out!

  17. haha…they care about ppl’s mom …
    nice 1 Kenny..!
    btw, “your’s mom bay”
    juz for ppl mother go only?

  18. for that nagative fools,
    if you think ppl is races,
    then u better behave ur self,
    what you try to express at the end of ur sentence?
    aren’t you also 1 of the pitiful lifeform?
    not all the humanrace know how to read arabic word.that word in “malay” spelling form different sound that similiar to one of the rude word for other language!….sad to hear

  19. To all you dick heads out there, Get a Life! There are lots of things that sound funny in another language. It doesn’t mean that someone is being offensive or racist.
    And for the rest of the other readers, you don’t have to go too far to find places with funny names. Case in point, Similajau National Park in Bintulu. Doesn’t that sounds like si mi la(n) j(i)au? Hahahaha….

  20. who the fuck cares if singaporean mcd has wifi and plasma tv too??
    kiasu is it? must tell the world your mcd cant lose to egypt’s?

  21. If you still can’t figure out what it means…
    Go ask a cantonese guy….
    NIA-MA = literally means “Your Mom”
    SI-MI-LAN = literally means “What The F**K”

  22. Hey, I thought I know Cantonese pretty well….. How come SI-MI-LAN == “What the F**K”?
    Ahhhh, don’t get it! Someone out there please tell me!

  23. And to the lowlife, whoever that is: We don’t care what the Arabic says, all we see is “Ne’ama”. That’s all we care. And I am sure no English speaker will pronounce it “Nikmat” anyway. If you care so much, contact the Egyptian government and ask them to change the name to “Nikmat” then. I am sure they will be happy to entertain your request.

  24. that is nikmat bay actually.I know arabic.Ne’ama = nikmat.The word ‘Ain’ or ‘nun”waw”ain’ =
    nik or ne’ama .And ‘mim”alif”ha’ = mah or ma
    or the meaning is Pantai Nikmat or Nea’ma Bay.Nice one la Kenny.Thumbs up.

  25. It’s amother funny post. To the readers out there don’t take Kenny’s joke seriously lahh. Cannot take a joke mehh?? Y so sensi??? huh? =p jk jk

  26. Ah, my mistake. “Ni” is definitely not Hokkien. Well, I don’t know anymore. Some say it’s Cantonese, some Hokkien, and one say it’s Hakka. Whatever dialect it’s from, one thing’s for sure; it means your mother. =P

  27. Neema Bay ? you wento Sharm El Sheikh ar?
    I was in snorkelling in Hurghada few months ago.
    the water is too cold. stupid is winter.
    but i don`t think it is a better place to be.Indeed malaysia got better diving sites such as Redang lor~.
    where else had u been in Egypt ?

  28. it s hilarious how even the chinese dialect speakers in Msia and Spore can not understand Kenny s rather straightforward take on the “Ne’ama” joke? i guess fewer people come in conatct with cantonese than i once thought.

  29. God… languages really make people misunderstood sometimes.. Like the la kia that marry Chinese her… Also made lots of mistake in their speaking.

  30. Niamah Poke-Gai Ham Gah Chan lah…
    You people are really funny leh. Simple Cantonese also cannot understand? I thought people use this “Niamah” everyday…
    Ask any KL or Ipoh guys and he/she would tell you what it means (don’t go and ask those bananas la…they suck big time).

  31. Kenny…stop posting this shit ass jokes. Its not funny. Please stop ur readers being stupid by debating this silly post. Try something with an intelligent & brilliant post ok?

  32. we can laugh, as long as not too much and not insulting them. Or in other words, don’t laugh in front of them. That is the purpose of jokes.^_^
    But it is rude to say bad things about their language. The bad one is the translation from Arabic word to Roman word, not their language.
    At least they have the ‘effort’ to write in Roman letter. Just imagine if all the signboard do not use Roman letter? I think that are more hilarious as tourist trying hard to explain where they want to go….O.o
    by the way, sometimes they pronounce ‘please’ as ‘blease’, ‘pick’ as ‘bick’ as there is no consonant sound like ‘p’ in their arabic letter.=.=

  33. i agree. its just coincidence that sometimes translation turn out to be one of the (bad) words u used everyday.
    we r not laughing at their language or anything. it might not even pronounce the way u all had in mind after all.
    no harm for a quick laugh.

  34. Hi Kenny, ‘Niamah’ in foochow meaning ‘your mother’ lor.. do you know that we have a national park in Bintulu called SIMILAJAU? hmmm wonder how would you tell your friends if you are taking them to SIMILAJAU National Park…


  36. Kenny, ur blog so famous until ur readers even fight with each other…and u’d got defend. I kau tau u.

  37. poor HARD GAY, no1 seems 2 reply his curiousity 2wards the phrase KNNCCB
    it means “Throw ur mother’s old shoe” in hokkian(?) dialect
    (direct tranlate the phrase into cantonese)
    to those f- retard dat dun have the sense of humour & over sensitivity 2 visit kennysia.com, dun read ….. (btw, thats what kennysia.com famous for, ie bringing laughter 2 ppl who posess sense of humour) like me, n all other kennysians

  38. SCLEANG IS RITE!! This is how Kenny make us laugh until our nuts fall off. If anyone here think kenny is creating a shit ass joke that guy must be a male without nuts, bcoz he doesnt hav any nuts to fall off. And referring to HARD GAY, KNNCCB!!! HOO~!!!!!!!!!!

  39. SIMILAN (wht the fcuk) are those kenny haters thinking? Do u understand what ppl loves kenny? T!u NE’AMA!!! KNNCCB!!

  40. niamah is your mom in cantonese.
    and niamah bay doesn’t mean anything in cantonese.
    i guess kenny u dun understand or speak cantonese. tat’s y u found it funny.

  41. Hahhaha.. tat’s funny, i’m lovin’it!! My friend in US even customise his car number plate to “KANASAI”!!!

  42. ‘Niamah’ literally means ‘your mother’ in Cantonese, not in Hokkien. It actually means ‘fcuk’, if you know what I mean. It’s shortened from, but is still understood to mean ‘tiu niamah’, or ‘fcuk you mother’, but is actually the shortened, shortened version from the very vulgar ‘tiu niamah ker chau hai’, which means ‘fcuk your mother’s stinky oyster’. How the hell did this ‘tit mother’ come from?
    Patrick explains what ‘niamah’ means —> http://www.niamah.blogspot.com/

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