Hiding Money

I’m rich! I’m rich! I’m a millionaire!

A million Indonesian Rupiah-aire that is. Which, according to today’s exchange rate is exactly RM384.90 only.
Still, it feels good to call myself a millionaire eventhough it’s a different currency. I mean, I always dreamed of swimming in a pool of dollar notes when I strike it rich one day.

Anyway, the reason why I’m converting my Ringgits to Rupiahs is because it’s the long weekend here in Sarawak and I’m using the opportunity to take a 4-day trip to Jakarta. I have never stepped foot to Indonesia before, so this is gonna be my exciting virgin trip into the country we only know as the main exporter of maids, terrorists, earthquakes and The Annual Haze™.
I hope language wouldn’t be a problem for me here. Although I used to have heaps of Indonesian friends back in Australia, the only Indonesian word they ever taught me was “ngentot”. And I don’t even know what the hell that means.

Indonesia has been in the news a lot lately. Not necessarily for the right reasons though.
Because the income gap between the rich and the poor is so huge, people in cities like Jakarta is notorious for scamming, pickpocketing and mugging, even under broad daylight. Jakarta isn’t exactly the safest city in South-East Asia, and to make things worse I’m gonna be travelling over there all alone.
A tourist like me is definitely gonna look like a walking ATM machine waiting to be robbed in Jakarta.

Why did the ATM machine cross the road?

Having gone through the nightmare of losing all my money in a foreign country before, I certainly wouldn’t wanna repeat the same hellish experience over again.
To prevent the worst from happening, I came up with the brilliant idea of hiding my stacks of cash in different compartments.
In the very likely scenario that I do get mugged or have my wallet stolen, at least they’ll just take what’s inside my wallet and I would still have some Rupiahs covertly stashed away in my bag.

.. in my jeans pocket.

… inside my underwear.

… inside my socks.

… and heck, even underneath my shoes.

Then, with all my cash safely hidden away, I will just pretend to walk around the streets of Jakarta as innocently as possible.

Nah, don’t think anyone’s gonna rob me!

What is there to do in Jakarta?

241 Replies to “Hiding Money”

  1. If you are flying Airasia be careful….the airport staff tend to get a little over excited upon seeing money in your CARRY ON LUGGAGE (not luggage that has been checked in, but luggage you wish to carry on to the plane with you), and take it upon themselves to put their hand/s into the x-ray machine and steal it out of you wallet/bag, whilst you are going through the metal detector.
    Happened to me on my way to Jakarta in January and another person more recently, got 5,000AUD stolen. Other than that, have fun!!!

  2. it will be funny when they manage to rob u of all dat (ok, it’s not reli funny if it happens, but still funny).. who noes, they might be so despo, they even want ur clothes, ur socks and ur shoes.. hahhaa

  3. if there really are kennysia fans in indonesia then u will be in danger kenny… now dat they noe whr u keep ur money…

  4. maybe you can go to jln jaksan(i dont remember the correct spelling),many backpackers stay there,can drink and share travel experience with them in that street backpacker inn

  5. i recommend u go to bandung if u have time.. it’s like 2 or 3 hours away from jakarta.. the place is heaven of food.. *drool*

  6. Dude becareful with your luggage my mum had some money and jewellery stolen from her luggage when she went there – TWICE, there was a lock on it but those wankers broke it anyway and just opened the whole damn thing (and btw the ppl who did this were the airport personnel)

  7. heard this on the radio.
    use a decoy wallet. in a place that one would usually keep a wallet. put in it old credit cards etc..
    erm.. sew hidden pockets in ur jacket or well, ur jeans.

  8. Nightlife pretty wold there. Go to Block M and TigaPuluh at Le Meridian. Have fun Kenny.
    In Indo, you are Prince Kenny!

  9. haha…don worry..u r just gonna be like any other chinese indonesian if u don talk.. lol ..
    just prepare lots of diarrhea medicine dong! lol

  10. everything you have said about the indons are how the malaysians are stereotyped by us as well. johor is DAMN unsafe.

  11. BTW….toilet is always known as WC here…so wanna go to toilet just say kamar kecil..OR easier WC

  12. lol, kenny. that million can’t last you long in jakarta. but the pickpockets will love you for that. be careful of jampi too. they’re so powerful you may end up being a faulty ATM that produce cash on default.
    do come to bandung. so much better weather than jakarta and malaysia.

  13. haha.. loves it! Have fun on your trip there! then blog about what’s there to do! Might think of visiting it!

  14. lolz good luck man…..maybe…its better if you use a credit card….your cash is bulging out man….haha you can take all that cash and mould it into superkennyrupiah! when you need rupiahs, call on him.

  15. i just suggest you to keep ur money with you at all time. Jakarta is dangerous really unexpected environment. The thiefs like to see foreigners especially your type. So be selective… btw dont expect the backpackers hotel as “acceptable” place.
    I would say you are gonna be disappointed.

  16. ‘ngentot’ means f*** you in indo. it’s used to scold ppl.. there’s loads of food you can try there (: if you like spicy food, try the padang or menado restaurant. sometimes there are plenty of hawkers walking around but the food’s not really clean..

  17. you can buy pirated CDs at much cheaper price than in m’sia. even the ones playing in theater they also sell! go to Glodok (selling electronic stuff)..

  18. Hey, hope you have someone to bring you around. Not easy to go to places by yourself.
    I can only think of food at the moment. Try the authentic Nasi Padang restaurant: Sari Bundo. Cheap and sedaaaaaaaaap!!! Or Laguna for Javanese food. Also go to Jalan Jaksa, Kemang or Menteng area. They have heaps of nice resto there.
    I m droooling now .. Time to go back to Jakarta!!! Let me know if you need any info. Have a good trip!!!

  19. rofl!!!.. U made it again Kenny :p .. haha .. hey becareful over there ok 🙂 .. And take care!Have fun.even if u get robbed :p

  20. what a surprise.. haha i study in jakarta. in university of indonesia to be exact. been there for 10 months now. haha but pity im now in kch for my hols.. home sweet home ah.
    a few things to remember..
    1) you won’t understand the language there. haha and they dun understand english. try to survive ah.. be prepared. most of the time they’ll understand bahasa malaysia, if your pronounciation is correct.
    2) they wun rob you in the streets. if a few ppl corner you, just walk away bravely. or shout “maling” as loud as you can. it means “thieve”. ppl will come and help. under all circumstances, NEVER try to fight back. even if you get insulted. just get away as coolly.we’re chinese, and chinese face discrimination in indo (hafta keep a low profile). other than that, you’ll be safe. keep your stuffs intact, e.g wear jeans (cos slacks have huge pockets), put your hp/wallet in your backpack, so ppl wun have any chance to pickpocket you. oh ya, dun flash your money or your very expensive hp, or camera around. they attract unwanted attention to you.
    keep to this few tips, and you’ll be safe. it’s in fact safer than kl i think. (you rarely hear of rape cases in jkt)
    3) the shopping complexes there are huge and beautiful. they win kl’s hands down. a few of the notable ones.. plaza indonesia, senayan city, plaza senayan, mall taman anggrek, mall kelapa gading, mall pondok indah.. all of them are fantastic shopping complexes. prices are exp though. senayan is like the orchard road of indonesia.
    if you want really cheap stuffs, you can go to mangga dua. prices are dirt cheap there. but quality varies.. haha btw, the electronics in mangga dua mall are dirt cheap. it’s d low yat of jakarta. hps there are very very cheap too.
    hmm 1 mln rupiah is very little i tink.. =) jakarta is a big spending place.
    4) for taxi, there are many taxi companies there. take the blue bird taxis. they’re famous for their reliability. rates are more or less rm0.10 per 100 metres. blue bird cabs are blue in colour, and their logo is that of a swan. but they have a sticker saying that they’re from blue bird companies.
    5) in jkt, the prime area is sudirman, menteng and kuningan. keep that in mind. they’re the most beautiful part of the city ( like kl’s cbd), the most expensive, and the place with the most numbers of foreigners.
    6) go to ancol, it’s at the north side of jakarta. it’s the sentosa of jkt. they have underwater world ( with dragon fish), snow world, theme park, and many more..
    7) be prepared for the pollution there.. and the traffic. these 2 things i hate most abt jkt. air pollution is terrible, worst than kl. and the traffic there.. i can only say the drivers are prob the best in the world.
    hmm 4 days in jkt is not enough. especially if you dun have anybody to take you around. good luck there..
    have fun in jkt. haha

  21. din realize i made so many typos.. the dvds are rm1.60-2.40 there. haha cheap eh? you can get them at mangga dua. for souvenirs, and maybe batik for your mum, go to sarinah. it’s in the middle of jkt.
    batik heaven.. haha jus went there myself, bought souvenirs for ppl back home here in kch.
    btw, the pronounciation for a,b,c,…,z is diff from english ah. so WC is not pronounced wc, but way say. something like that lar.. ahah be prepared.

  22. Whether the ATM machine crossed the road or the road moved beneath the ATM machine depends upon your point of view.

  23. hey kenny! lol, just remember when u go there u dun call them budak, cuz budak at indo language means slave! Okie~enjoy ur journey lah den u can try nasi padang, it’s nice! neway, ngentot is sumting bad words lah..ahaha..yea u rite, must be careful lah, but i think u did lah, da way u hide ur money is hillarious lah! good job! enjoy ur trip there~~

  24. I remembered how weirdly funny it was to hear my ex maid telling her family in Surabaya that she is sending MILLIONS of rupiah! I’d be happy if I even get to touch hundred of thousands of dollars!
    I used to hide money in shoes and socks and pretty much everywhere around my body too! Hope you’re having fun there! Look out for Peterpan 😉

  25. Jakarta = traffic jam = MACET!! even high way also got traffic jam.. sigh.. go to Bandung, it’s better.. or Puncak

  26. hey…this is my 1st time leaving a comment=)i have been a regular reader since last year..
    anyway kenny, u will not regret visiting jakarta..i grew up there and up till now i have never been robbed before..probably because we usually dun take public transportation over there..so if u are taking cabs to go around…make sure they charge ya by metre cos if the drivers know u are not local, they will exploit ya hahha
    go shop2 its the best and roadside food is good and cheap(and dirty) haha

  27. try to hold a banner saying:
    over your head.
    and chant “i have no money” over and over again. 🙂
    good luck.

  28. Go visit the Gunung Tangkuban Perahu at Taman Wisata Alam located in Bandung, West Jawa. It’s actually an inactive volcano. They have lil’ hot springs where you can soak your feet in. Beware tho of the pungent smell of sulphur.
    Also, you MUST try Indonesia’s famous signature doughnut – J.Co. It’s so much tastier and not to mention cheaper than KrispyKreme. Apparently they’re KrispyKreme’s main rival. Can be found in Plaza Indonesia.
    On your way up to Bandung, do stop by the restaurants by the road. Most of them offer authentic Jawanese and Sudanese cuisine. YUM!
    If you have the chance, you shud also go try having some seafood there. It’s cheap and so delicious lar! i love the seafood at Pondok Sedap Malam, located at Muara Karang (nearby the city). Really famous among locals. Black pepper prawns are the bomb and goes well with some fresh coconut water.
    I agree that shopping in Jakarta is so addictive! It’s cheap and there’re tonnes of variety. Plaza Indonesia and Gading XX is where all the youngsters and yuppies hang out. Night life there is awesome.
    There’s just so much more to do, see and try! I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to read your entry on Jakarta. Get ready to experience some culture shock as well. Won’t let you know what they are…you go and get shocked!

  29. Anything can be stolen in Indonesia.
    it is more boleh than our country , shoes , underpanties blablabla can be stolen for money sake

  30. haha thats bloody funneh. one of your better posts so far. That was a well deserved laugh for me. Thankss! :]

  31. I hope you don’t have any indon readers of your blog..
    Else, they certainly know where to search for all the cash..

  32. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    HAHAHAHAHHAHAH.You never fail to make me laugh,whenever i read entries like this.
    anyway!’ngentot’ means ‘fu*k’.
    dont go around saying that.LOL.

  33. hehehehe! i love the atm photo and the past photo…it’s lamenesss to the point of being hysterical

  34. Funnynya!!!
    Enjoy your trip to Jakarta… with so much insulation, you won’t have a problem with the cold weather lah…
    Oh wait… Jakarta not that cold hoh???

  35. think you wont get robbed unless you go to the small streets and whatever ulu places. otherwise it will be fine. i hv been in jakarta 20years of my life and i m all fine.
    btw, this is a BAD time to be visiting jakarta. the traffic is totally at its worst state. its JAMMED JAMMED JAMMED JAMMED. even the EXPRESSway doesnt seem to have moving traffics. ohh, the airport is worst. and its kind of slightly flooded here due to short but frequent super-heavy rain these few days.
    but otherwise, i really hope you enjoy your stay in jakarta.
    please visit ITC Mangga Dua! its the most crowded shopping place in jakarta. other than Tanah Abang and Pasar Senen where you are most likely going to get robbed. its cheap cheap cheap. but i think malaysia has that too. so nvm.
    and yes, Krispy Kreme!….. and a lot more.
    enjoy enjoy!

  36. 1. Go up the Memorial Tower, landmark of Jakarta
    2. Visit the museum, a bit rundown but worth a visit. walking distance from the Memorial.
    3. Visit Chinatown just for the experience. Like a congested Pandugan.
    4. Food, glorious food
    5. Experience Javanese massage.
    6. Visit night market.
    You should be in Bali though. Jkt is just like any city.

  37. I agree with m3nn
    I loved my trip to Jakarta! I had my best friend take me around.
    You need something to entertain yourself in the car during traffic jams. Took me 40 minutes to an hour to get to one place.
    I miss Mangga Dua. Cheap stuff everywhere.
    I didn’t try Krispy Kremes, but I luv JCo donuts! I spent alot of time eating there. Beware of food poisoning 😛
    Jakarta trip
    Keep blogging, ya? Medical students like me need some entertainment after studying like crazy.

  38. u know wats sad?
    the little young small street urchins, kids who either are forced to out of desperation or shady parents to tail tourists and tug at their clothes and beg for money. the hordes of them doing that to you…its tough to give em money and not go bankrupt. sometimes they dont want $. They want to offer you goods in return for $.

  39. I went to Jakarta 3 yrs ago. Cant quite remember what I did there. I did to quite a bit of shopping and went up to Bandung 🙂 Go check out this volcano crater thats not too far off from Jakarta. Its kinda cool. And you must must must must try their ubi madu. It is sooooooo good.

  40. Do try to visit Bandung, its a really nice place, only 2-3 hrs from Jakarta. If you’re there try the Amanda brownies. They’re delicious 🙂 Get them from the Amanda outlet tho, the ones they sell at the roadside stalls arent fresh. Then, there’s Pisang Molen (traditional indo pastry filled with banana & cheese) from Kartikasari, Batagor (bakso tauhu goreng) and Nasi Timbel. They’re good! Have fun!

  41. HAHAHA! omg u’re one funny dude.
    pray hard no indo-robbers will read ur blog ah~
    if not they’re so gonna strip u naked and dig all over for ur money! 😀
    have fun for ur trip ! 🙂

  42. Oi Kenny ar….now the whole world knows where ur goin to stash ur cash when u go to Jarkarta… not only will they take ur wallet…they’ll kidnap u becoz they kno where u hide the cash… Not worried about that meh???

  43. You are HILARIOUs!!! this jz makes my day…anyhoo…Its so hard to explain to my friends why this post jz cracks me up…but yes…..HAve fun in INdonesia…perhaps one day..when u come to Canada…and u still need to stash up ur money like that…Ill take U out!:P

  44. Kenny dude.. better have friends one or two there to drive you around, especially if you can’t speak Indo..

  45. you can stuff it up your butt/anus… like how criminals do when they hide drugs.. but i’d hate to be on the receiving end of the money xD

  46. i juz realised how funny fcuk you in Indon is..
    Ngentot you xD haahah i noe its bad but it sounds so damn funny =P

  47. Go to Pondok Laguna! Fantastic sundanese food!
    Try also the local bak mee. It’s pretty good.
    And the bandung brownie if you can find it – not easy though. There is a shop in Plaza Indonesia that does sell it but it is quite expensive.
    The malls are nice but it would be misleading to say better than KL as one person did. I would classify them as roughly in the same class as malls in KL, SG and Bangkok. Most malls in ASEAN are very similar nowadays. The only difference is that the carparks of malls in Jakarta are filled with mercedes. Just check out the parking lot in Plaza Indonesia. And there is a special paging system for the drivers. Everyone has a driver in Jakarta – so they even have a special lounge in Jakarta malls just for the drivers.
    And middle class people can afford tons of domestic help. I knew one mid level manager who had two drivers, a house maid, a cook, a nanny, and a gardener. Their domestic help do not multi-task unlike our poor overworked Indonesian maids in Malaysia.
    If you get homesick you can look for secret recipe – they opened in Jakarta a while ago. They also have a Giant hypermart in Plaza Semanggi – which is a architecturally very stylish mall – much more stylish than Plaza Senayan. It’s a pity such a nice mall was empty when I visited three years ago. There is a nice Crystal Jade restaurant in Plaza Indonesia – which is funny as that means the Singapore based Crystal Jade made it to Jakarta before KL!

  48. LOLZ…
    now we can all be millionaires!!!
    mr ATM, don get robbed!!! u never know about these robbers… even though u hide the money in the underwear, u never know, they might be gays and wanna you-know-what to you and find the money there!!!! lolz…

  49. Haha kenny you must be bored your ass. Well at least you’re blogging. Unline someone. 🙂
    Have a good trip in Indo. I’m goin Jkt on july. Can’t wait! Huhu..

  50. Kenny…COuldnt help but being kaypoh abit and tell u a few things about jkrta coz im Indon myself.Jkrta is popular for their happening night life.u should try X2 or blowfish..and get hot indon chicks back.u can almost find good food evrywhere man.
    the safety there isnt that bad already compared to 5-6 years ago.but still be aware yea.if ngentot is the only word u know in indon,dont use it.
    have fun there and try ur best not to look so obvious that u’re a tourist aight.haha.coz u’ll look like a noob and they’d definitely want to rob u =D

  51. oh ya,and pls get someone to drive u around and DONT take the public transports.Its very hard to get you to places in jakarta.there are gonna be traffic jams everywhere u could end up sitting inside a car for the whole day


  53. why dont you try a night life in Jakarta … and after that you will know what’s ‘ngentot’ means in the positive way 8-P

  54. Kenny…Jakarta isnt that bad lah..
    What with all the hype about people getting robbed.
    Well, I’ve never been robbed before. I dunnoe, maybe because we don’t take public transportation.But, I took them long time ago, and nothing happened to me.
    Of course, there are numerous cases, you gotta be careful!
    Have fun in there!Things are cheap as compared to here, (I come from Indonesia studying in Singapore).
    Good post anyway.

  55. Try going for the Monas, Sia.
    Jakarta’s known for Huge shopping malls and stuff, or you can visit the soccer clubs in Jakarta.
    Oh btw, Indo language is nearly the same as Melayu, so even if you’re having trouble communicating, they would still understand you.
    Have fun Sia.

  56. Hi Kenny, I notice that you and nicole love to travel, I would like to invite you if you have time to visit my country (philippines). 🙂 I also love to travel a lot 🙂 I hope you could come here and post it in your blog so people might see that Phils. is not a bad place to go 🙂 Thank you

  57. hahaha Kenny you’re such a kidder, this really made my day especially reading it in the morning……….good idea hide more money in your underpants, it would definately attract the muggers to strip you naked hahahaa…..
    But really , peopl ecan be so paranoid these days, you do not need to hide money everywhere lar, just act local and you’ll be fine………Jakrta is some-what like any major city in the world you see lots of buildings, I suggest you make you way up to LAke TOba at least you get to see the mountains and experience the food there……

  58. DUDE, I live in JKT and Guangzhou. I just got back from JKT yesterday. Wish I was there to show you around. Check out my blog if you get a chance, got loads of places you can check out off the beaten track.In and close to JKT as well. And some hot clubs too.
    BTW, Malay is pretty much the same as Bahasa so try to blend in with the locals. Stay away from KOTA and go to PUBLIC or X2.

  59. OH YEAH, i am looking forward to reading some posts about my city JKT. be gentle bro, there is a lot to bitch about there, especially the corruption that starts right at the airport.

  60. LOL
    Anyway, if you’re free, please consider taking at trip to:
    PAWS Animal Welfare Society
    Non-Profit Organisation / Social Services / NGO
    Location :
    Ladang Pilmoore, Jalan Lapangan Terbang Subang 47200
    With your blog, i hope people will start donating money to this organisation to save the poor animals..It’s a sad place.

  61. Dude,I visit Jakarta at least once a month and I haven’t encounter any problem when going out alone. Just practise some common sense like in everywhere else and you’ll be fine. Do try and take Bluebird taxi ONLY to get around (not expensive at all) and write down the ID of the taxi driver in case you need to lodge any complaint. Shopping is fantastic in Jakarta. You can find many “sisa eksport” shops and do visit Mangga Dua for bags,clothes and of course pirated DVDs (RM1.50/piece)
    P/S Out of the airport building, do look out for the rather suggestive statue on your right

  62. Ha!
    You wrote this before or after Jakarta trip? I presume before. How if someone from Jakarta is reading ur blog and is planning a plot knowing where you keep all your $$?
    Haha… Enjoy your rupiah-naire trip!!

  63. will u forget where did u put all your money? and if u wanna purchase smth, areu going to dig the notes out fr different compartments???

  64. best gigs in jakarta:
    1. mangga dua
    2. blok m plaza
    3. menara jamsostek (bliss –> club)
    4. Plaza Indonesia
    5. Pondok Indah Mall
    have fun!!!

  65. Jakarta is a lovely place…with lots of nice stuff. you can buy funky clothes, you can buy beautiful carvings for the house, and you can buy shoes. If you’re not interested in shopping, go for a tour of their architecture, the Dutch left some really beautiful designs, and some of the temples are gorgeous too. Have fun!

  66. this is soo funny post-lah! you are hilarious Kenny!
    btw, why the word “The Annual Haze” got TM Mark? who registered that word anyway? so freaking weirdo-lah to registered that as a trade mark.
    Why don’t you use Money-body Pouch something*? I think its safer using that rather than hiding it all over your body. Have an enjoyable holiday… dont ngentot2 around. hahaha

  67. U wan get chicks in indo can call me. hohoho
    Super pimp in J Town.
    From Rp. 200k – Export Maid Quality
    to Rp. 3M – Magazine models.
    Just specify Ur criterias we send to Ur hotel room in 2hrs.
    We very low profile now, next time then we give U contact details.

  68. i’ve been in indonesia for 10 months and it’s only through a person’s, who hasn’t set foot in indon, blog that i get to know batagor is actually bakso tahu goreng. geez kenny, your blog can be the official tourism website for all the countries you’ve been or are planning to go.
    anyway, have fun in indonesia! it’s not that bad a place. the KartikaSari brownies are really yummy (you can get them fresh only in bandung), and the pisang sale (some banana coated with cheese and deep fried), kek lapis, bakso, alpukat (avocado) juice, jCo donuts…..MAMAMIA!

  69. you look so adorable in the last picture!! hahahaha! i just laughed out loud at this post man.

  70. Hahaha..Kennysia.com never fail to entertain! 🙂
    Take good care of yourself mate, lots of crooks out there mate and don’t forget to update us with field reports!! 🙂

  71. Yea, I sure hope I’ll see you on the streets of Jakarta, then I can rob ur ass off your pants. Showing money like that online is your cleverest trick ever in blogging history. What a break through

  72. I think Jakarta is not as bad as JB leh. I was never robbed in Jakarta. And I agree that the malls are huge and much better than KL & Singapore malls.
    1M rupiah for 4 days should be enough. 1 meal (food & drink) in the mall costs about 30K each (around RM12) so it’s definitely more expensive than KL and Singapore. And it’s just the food court! The restaurants are generally cheaper than Singapore though.

  73. I love Indonesia. There’ll def be no language barrier because I understand them perfectly, and they understand me too when I speak malay.

  74. Go and check out this place called ‘Pit Stop’ (located at the Sari Pan Pacific Hotel) on Friday night after 10pm. They have ‘shows’.

  75. I have heard some horror stories from a friend who traveled there for a week. Spent RM5000 within a few days. All he can say is “Make sure you have enough small change , coins etc or the beggar kids will suck you dry.” These are no ordinary beggars, they will not leave till you give them money , and they come systematically. Especially in public buses, there will be one that comes on the bus at each stop.
    The people there love Malaysians to death… to the extent they charge you with ridiculous prices upon knowing your origin. Go with reliable taxis…there is no such thing as an agreed upon price. You may find that the agreed price would suddenly change. If you do get into this mess, don’t argue, or else the guy would probably just flash his weapon of choice (gun, knife ) and with a smile say “I’m not forcing you to pay, but you should really pay”
    If you do survive, good luck.

  76. hahaha.. u r so funny, kenny! hope u dont get robbed in jakarta.
    btw, im going to bali next week. any of the readers out there can tell me what’s good in bali? any good food/places to shop/things to buy in bali? thanks a lot:)

  77. Glad to hear that u r visting Jakarta. Currently having holidays, my frens & I r also wanting to go around this city. B sure to visit Monas (monumen nasional), Ancol (with seaworld and theme parks), Mal Kelapa Gading (the biggest mall in Jakarta), and others mentioned by comments above. Er…I’m not sure if they allow u but the Malaysian Embassy is celebrating the King’s brithday today (Saturday) in the embassy (duh!) and v students are invited. Met the King not long ago but I dun think he’ll b dere tonite. Have fun and try to not give the kids money everytime they ask u for it. Some are just asking for the sake of asking (meaning not really in need) so u can give a little only or maybe ignore (hey, I din recommend that =P). Waiting for ur post on this country!

  78. Greetings from jakarta.
    Kchboy, are you the transgenic classmate of mine?
    and erm, hi amedical scholar, posting two rooms awat from mine!
    Well, I think I’m both kchboy’s and amedicalscholar classmate and we’re all studying in Universitas Indonesia at central Jakarta. We’re having our module break for 10 days but I didnt go back to Malaysia.
    There’s alot of interesting things to be done here but kchboy has mentioned pretty much of them.
    Yea, basically for malls, ITCs are for dirt cheap dvds and souvenirs while the grand malls are like Senayan, Plaza Indon, Pondok Indah, etc etc. But my favourite mall should be Mal Kelapa Gading.
    I usually take Tarif Lama taxis around though, cos its cheaper almost by half. However, if u’re absolutely foreign here, better heed other’s advice of spotting a Blue Bird (they’re everywhere) cos they’re the reliable ones.
    1 million is very little, and i suggest you change more before coming here cos the exchange rate here is higher, as in you need more RM to change into 1 million. And as long as you don’t expose yourself to robbers, it should be okay although i know now where you keep your money.
    BM is okay for usage here but is not really similar to Bahasa Indonesia. The diction, or the choice of words the locals use, is pretty distinct. Who would thought ‘punggung’ here is used to refer to your back instead of your butt?
    Anyway, some of the words that could come in handy:
    Mas – to address guys. (Abang in Msia)
    Mbak (pronounced em-bak) – to address girls.
    Pak – older guys.
    Ibu – older women. (Yes, everyone’s ur mum here)
    Kamar kecil would mean toilet, and Nggak is No.
    4 days is not even enough to tour around jakarta so i’ll advise against going Puncak or Bandung as well. Keep that for another time.
    As for food, yea doughnuts!!
    J.co, iCrave, Krispy Cremes are everywhere.
    Some local food i’ll recommend would be Nasi Timbel, Bakmi, Perkedel, Gado-gado, etc. Make sure you check out their fast food chains as well, cos what they serve is different from their counterparts in our country. And of course, if u’re up to classy restaurants, there are lots in the Golden Triangle area. I think there’s a Hard Rock Cafe there too. =p
    Any problems kenny, drop me a mail k? Would be glad to help. 🙂
    P/s: If u’re not settled for accommodation, my place is at 60 bucks per night.

  79. Oops! sorry, today is friday, so the embassy thingy is tomorrow. See how holidays can blur someone. Er…try not get urself surrounded by a bunch of local youngsters. THey might force u to hand over ur properties (only….if u r lucky coz dey might harm u in other ways) but generally, this city is safe.
    Must try, if u r not scared of diarrheoa, Nasi Padang, Soto (of all sorts), Tempe (fermented casava), and their Bakmi (either beef or chicken). Those r famous local food found everywhere particularly on the streets but U can also find them in local restaurants. Dont expect much though, Malaysian food is MUCH nicer (personal opinion, no offence).

  80. hey Kenny.. i’m a long time reader from bandung, indonesia..(but i’m living in the US) wow even i personally wont wander around jkt by myself… you need someone to take you places !! public transportations sucks back home .. and it’s a huge place too.. if you go to the wrong places.. i’ll hate to see u have bad impression of jkt on your first visit.

  81. Dey dun get angry over here if u look at their stuff & decide not to buy (unlike certain places at KL ahem!) so feel free to browse through everything. They are really nice people, especially to tourists (when they are not trying to make u pay more, that is!). Some taxi drivers will ask for extra tips, but ignore if u want to, step off and pay the exact amount because sometimes, they request for ridiculous amount (happened to me before, but I did not bow to his request). Anything else I think of later, might drop a few words *wink*

  82. You won’t get rob there unless you take public transportation or walk around at the side of the road (especially if you look like a foreigner).
    Go to ITC Mangga Dua for cheap shopping and food. Plaza senayan, plaza indonesia for shopping malls.
    Traffic is really bad there so make sure you stay at areas which are nearer to the city.
    Have Fun!

  83. Wahhh one of my fave bloggers is going to Jakarta! I’m from Jakarta anyway, and now studying in Malaysia…weee~
    Anyway, yea, just another reminder: ONLY TAKE BLUEBIRD TAXIS if u wanna take cabs.
    and be careful with ur money. Indonesian robbers are getting smarter these days. Be careful also if you meet a group of youngsters in shopping malls. I’ve heard they will get close to you, pretending to look at the stuffs you are looking at, and when you don’t realize it, ur wallet has gone…
    so..be careful and have a safe and nice trip, kenny! =D
    can’t wait for ur story..hahaha

  84. I’m always mistaken for an Indonesian tour guide whenever I’m in Jakarta or Bali lei. What am I doing wrong…
    Ah well, have a fun trip!

  85. Kenny, you go for a 4 day trip to Jakarta and only bring Rp 1 Juta?!? (one million rupiah?!?)
    well, I could spent that on one day only, here’s how:
    from hotel, take a taxi (remember, black taxi named Silver Bird only) to The Ritz Carlton for biggest buffet dining in town. 1 buffet for adult plus drink could set you around 200ribu (200thousand). Then head to Senayan City for the latest shopping scene in town. No, you can;t afford dunhill or Bottega Venetta with 800 thousand left in your pocket. But check out Debenhams dept store (since the one in Berjaya Times Square has been closed). A good tie and shirt can set you to Rp600ribu. Now, you left with 200ribu rite? Spare 150ribu for the total taxi ride (remember, the black SILVER BIRD only!). the remaining 50ribu, you can fill your stomach with 2 dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I like the New York Cheesecake doughnuts!
    Some place to check out: (this is for real) Lara Djonggrang at Menteng, or Waroeng Shanghai Blue 1920 at Kebon Sirih for a themed dining, Vertigo (at Wisma Veteran) or Centro (at Dharmawangsa Square) for a groove nite out. Don’t forget to taste best chocolate martini in town at The Dharmawangsa Hotel!

  86. OK. Well, first, when you get out of the airport and someone approach you offering to take ur luggage, dont accept it. Because in the end, they will ask money.
    Then, to travel around u can take busway. Its quite cheap.
    Third, ngentot means “fucking”. So dont ever say it when you are in Jakarta if you dont want to get slapped. =p
    Have fun!

  87. hey! there are sooo many things to do in jakarta.
    one of them – eat eat eat and eat. do try out pempek, martabak, gado gado, nasi padang and whatever food you can’t find back in m’sia. and oh J.Co doughnuts. they have similar concept to KrispyKreme but is so much tastier. roadside food like bakso are nice as well hahaha.
    check out the shopping malls like plaza indonesia, mal kelapa gading, plaza senayan. but yeah beware of pickpockets, they do exist in such big shopping malls too la. they usually kinda surround you and by the time you notice some of your stuffs are gone =[
    yeah transportation is a bitch in jkt. there is jam everywhere.
    btw don’t look too interested while buying stuff at places where you can bargain like mangga dua or glodok. cos usually they will jack up the prices.
    anyhow have a safe trip in jkt! and have fun =)

  88. if u don’t act like a rich fool, u won’t be robbed. hehe.
    jus don’t show ur money in public. haha.
    its a misconception, that jakarta is full of robbers. just like how singaporeans think that JB is full of people waiting to rob, rape, and kill them. haha.
    BUT i must say this, do not leave ur HP or wallet on the table whn u’re eating outside in jakarta. every city has a high crime rate. its expected. u just have to be careful.

  89. i was there for projects for 5 years, no bad experience so far….
    try to go to Restaurant Pondok Laguna, for Ikan Goreng Gurami, Taufu Kipas..
    Mall Taman Anggreik? I was staying at the apartment up there, very convenient place for us….
    if have time spent 1 hour at AutoMall in CDB, lots of nice cars, motorbikes..Bentley GT / Enzo / 430 Spider / Legend / Q7 / Hamvee….used to have lunch there (source of motivation to work harder….)
    hehe, have fun 🙂

  90. gosh kenny now ure trying too hard to be funny.. i feel sorry for u man.
    cheers, hoping u find the funny bug back

  91. hei kenny, im indonesian and i love reading your blog. well, go to jkt u better be careful and if you want to spend your time wisely, go early morning and come back late night if you do not wish to be STUCK in jam! must tell you, jkt traffic IS HORRIBLE!!!
    what to do in jkt?
    1. go to EX or Plaza Indonesia, Senayan City, and the brand new plaza, the grand!
    2. go eat soto mee, nasi padang and nasi campur!
    3. go club to dragonfly, X2, blowfish! tell u, the clubs in jkt much much better than here or sg!
    have fun kenny!

  92. you have to eat nasi-padang in jakarta dude! they’ll have loads of variety of food to eat there. do try their curry chicken, bak-mi. i think the place to eat is at muara karang. enjoy yourself shopping in jakarta! =D

  93. You’re so darn adorable lah!
    I can imagine you walking in the dark alleys with money sticking out all over the place. Being totally ignorant of the trouble you are asking for…

  94. I once spent 10 hours per day counting money, have worked at most things including Construction and Farming,but coveted Money made my hands the GRIMIEST,averaged 3 Brush Scrubs just to feel normal after a shift.Now a little older,perhaps a tiny wiser,I Shudder to think WHERE some of that money was hidden.It’s the only thing most will knowingly accept in the full knowledge it is fresh out of ones underwear or shoes.
    Travel is truely one of the great Joys of the Human nature: Sense of Adventure,Discoveries of other Cultures with Contrasting yet Sensible points of views which inspire fresh APPRECIATION of what we take for granted.
    Where currency exchange is advantageous enough, I’ve found it convenient,relaxing,stress-free and enjoyable to negotiate a Reasonable Day-rate with a Taxi driver,recommended by someone of repute if you have doubts. Afterall they know their turf better than anyone else,plus con-artists keep away from those who can Identify them. Tourists are specifically targeted around the world because they do not stick around long enough to Identify the culprit.
    Have an enjoyable trip. Bring back some new terminology

  95. “ngentot” = fcuk.
    Enjoy your trip. Don’t forget to try out all the nice foods. There are plenty of nice one out there. Just be alert and do not take public transport lightly.

  96. Just two advices: keep all visible valuables such as rings, watches or expensive brand wallet at home and don’t talk on your mobile phones while travelling on the road.
    Just 6 months ago, a close friend of mine who’s working in Jakarta has her car window axed a few times because the ‘red axe gang’ spotted her talking on her mobile phone while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. My friend and her husband were scared shitless to say the least, and quickly relinguished their mobile phones to the thugs. Just last year, the same thing happened to a close family friend. All these people have lived in Jakarta for the rest of their lives, so it’s not something that can only happens to tourists.
    it’s not a fabricated stories, those really happened.
    So, be careful with “showing off” your valuables while in Jakarta.
    I’m not from Jakarta so I can’t recommend you much except try to find your old friends from Jakarta as nothing beat having a local to show you around!
    and try Padang foods!

  97. I remember watching Indonesian movies when i was young and there was always a “Dong” at the end of a sentence.
    So dont forget to add all the Dongs when u speak ok.
    Berapa ini Dong?
    Mahal Sangat Dong!
    Macam mana pergi McD Dong?
    4-day trip seems too short, anyway enjoy ur Jakarta Trip!

  98. DuFan (Dunia Fantasi)…theme park ala indonesia. not sure if those rides are still safe. they might be pretty ancient by now.
    not sure if mi sop w/out bakso (balls= beef, chicken) has been mentioned…try those sold on the road sides.
    try googling kemang if you wanna have a taste of Jakarta nightlife.
    a book called ‘jakarta undercover’ helps too.
    indonesian kretek (cigarettes) are great as souvenirs.
    if u have enough guts, try going for a short ride on the trishaw..Becak.
    ..background makes me homesick. hehe.

  99. Wew, Kenny. You should be careful in Jakarta. I live in Medan, North Sumatera Indonesia, and I have ever lived in Jakarta for a year.
    Jakarta is a town of flood, traffic jam, mugging, and lots of very bad things.
    I think you don’t want to walk by yourself, don’t take buses like “metromini” or “sudaco”. If you’re not using your own car, I think you’d better use a bluebird taxi. Or silverbird taxi (the VIP version of Bluebird which of course costs more). It’s safer.
    You can visit Dufan (Dunia Fantasi) in North jakarta, TMII (Taman Mini Indonesia Indah) in South jakarta, or Monas. The great plazas are taman Anggrek (TA) in West jakarta, Mangga Dua, or Plaza Indonesia.
    Have a fun trip.
    Don’t get mugged.

  100. just some correction for xtine:
    1. Dunia Fantasi’s rides are okay. But warn you, if you’re coaster fanatics, you’ll be disappointed.
    2. No such food as mi sop lar! It’s soto mie. Inside is yellow noodles, slices of beef, some beehon-popiah, in clear broth.
    3. kretek is souvenirs for ang moh. If you want some quality Indonesian batik and crafts, head to Batik Keris. They also have shop at Departure Hall, Terminal 2 Jakarta Airport.
    I think you have some misconception about usage of ‘DONG’ or in the funky way they call it ‘DONK’! and FYI, Indonesian don’t speak ‘Macam mana’ It’s even not in the grammar dictionary! They speak like this:
    >”Mau pergi ke McD gak?”
    >”Mau DONK!”

  101. Wow, Kenny, I did not know you are from Kuching until I read Jenny blog recently.
    See we kuching nan are not only live on top of the tree but we are famous on the blog world :)-, ha ha ha ha ha.
    Jamy from sunshine florida, USA :)-

  102. ngentot means “cho” in indonesian… Most of the Sabahans use that words too……. Beside we use the tribe language.. “armput”.. ahaha
    if you know what i mean….

  103. Wah!! Kenny!! you let all the ppl know where you going to hide your money siah…
    And i am going to pity the poor vendor that is going to take the money from you that is hidden inside your underwear!!! hahahahha…
    Imagine that you are buying something, and realised that you had run out of cash in all hiding places except the notes in your underwear… what you going to do man??

  104. I think you’re over anticipating or you’re just an attention seeker.
    You’re so arrogant if you think Jakarta is that bad.

  105. woww!! u so rich ah kenny? better be careful when u walk around kuching u never know I will follow u…follow u wherever u may gooooo….. i know now where u keep all ur money… (;0)+ is looking at u!

  106. Well, You should be careful not only in Jakarta but INDONESIA. I went there but I felt un-savelive. Luckly nothing happen to me.

  107. bring along your credit card la, u want doing wat oso can la, like the advertisement of “citibank” jacky chen just bring credit card to travel to beijing

  108. “quote:
    Wah, you revealed all the $$$ spots..who knows indon robbers also read kennysia.com blog??”
    this is good point. kenny you should sometime keep it to yourself.

  109. have you try hiding money in books i did that when i study in penang i keep my hundred ringgit notes in page 100,200,300 and i was robbed once at pudu raya but i only lost what i have in my wallet and the rest remain safe .

  110. if you say ngentot as a greeting, folks will capture and burn you in front of public, especially if you’re in kampung 😛

  111. Hi F#$$#$# Kenny..
    Go F$$### yourself ! That you mention about terrorism in Indonesia, hope you will die as the cause of that..HAHAHA..I see your face man AND I WONT FORGET YOU CUZ THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

  112. Hi Kenny,
    I understand that what you’re trying to share is get the best out of your travel, and come back in safety, however, reading and understanding how your mindset about Jakarta and Indonesia, well should you continue to show-off as such in public, then you’d be in deep shit!.. 🙂
    Jakarta, is like some other big cities like KL, New York or perhaps, Rio in Brasilia.
    Just try to use common sense, we’re not so much different.. earn people’s respect wherever you go to travel, and stop being such a snob, by bathing with the notes… unless if you’re trying show that you’re a new money in town.
    Safe trip and stay low profile, dude!

  113. dare to post something that hurting others you must be dare to accept respond would you deserve for it !!
    deleting my comments?? all what I’ve seen you’re just a little fat chicken…
    It’s embarrassing… Famous Malay Blog content is just how to insult others, being such a clever people…no moral at all..
    its not hard to keep peace in neighborhood as long as we can respect each other…
    You guys Malaysians just ORANG KAYA BARU and being such a snob… Pathetic!!

  114. PLZ.. send some donation to AFGANISTAN Kids or for Native Palestines Soldier againts ISRAEL S**T! be nice&generous! GBU!

  115. Well, it’s been a lifetime i’m in jkt but never get robbed or anything. I think criminalities there are just equal with in KL. My sister also nevet get robbed there, but here in KL, she got her handphone stolen. The main point is the same, you have to be very careful wherever u are.
    And for that annual haze u mentioned earlier, u should have known that the almost all the haze are caused by malay companies burning the indonesian forrest. So, it ain’t bad if we export the haze back to ur country, rite?? U don’t believe it?? Pls do READ!!!

  116. LOL…
    cant quite believe you dare to take bajaj in jkt and train to bandung.. i’m an indonesian, and i’ve never done it before.. 😀

  117. when i go out i put my wallet and even cell phone inside my bra cup. i know it shows through a bit if im wearing a tight fitting jersey.i dont care its still in a safe place and no pickpocket can ever get to it.

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