Earlier this week, I went on a 5-day-fruit-and-veg-only detox diet.
It was horrible.
The 5 days that I spent detoxing was the longest 5 days of my life. The last time I felt time move that slowly was when I accompanied some girls go shopping at 1Utama.
But you know what? It’s worth it. Going through detox was hellacious when I started. The moment it was over, I’ve never felt more relieved. I’m definitely feeling much lighter and cleaner on the inside.
Day One of my detox started with a cup of TruDtox tea. The tea bags come sealed in little sachets, and all I gotta do is dunk it into a glass of hot water like a normal tea bag. Brew it for 20 minutes, and I’m good to go.
I must admit it doesn’t taste too bad. Most detox products I tried before tastes and looks exactly like the stuff you’re meant to pass out. Like shit, in other words.
Luckily this one doesn’t fall into that category. It’s got a strong peppermint flavour to it, and it makes a good substitute for coffee – which is something a caffeine addict like me had to sacrifice during detox.
I couldn’t feel much of effect the first time I drank it. The only thing different was that my first piss of the day was dark yellow eventhough I drank gallons of water throughout the day.
My meal portions were all kept really small. Breakfast for me was just a green apple, lunch two pieces of bananas and dinner was half a papaya. That’s a pathetically small amount of food, but by some miracle I managed to hold it through.
I got through work at the office without much hassle and still even managed hit the gym. But as soon as I got home, I’m already feeling the rumble and the tightness in my stomach intensified. Moments later, I was sitting on the toilet bowl flushing it out.
I’ll save you the details, but suffice to say – it stinked like hell and it wasn’t pretty.
The second day was the worst of all.
I woke up feeling like crap, went to work feeling like crap, went home feeling like crap, went to bed feeling like crap. I began to wonder why the heck I put in so much effort when I could simply be fat and happy and live a short life.
I went for my regular Friday run, but I was so fatigued I could only managed to walk. Crawling doesn’t seem like a bad option at the time too. For lunch I rewarded myself with a dish of mushroom salad from Tom’s, but even then I was too weak and tired to do anything productive at all.
To make things worse, I got home, looked at myself in the mirror and what do I see? More pimples on the face.
I was ready to give up. But things start looking a bit better by day three onwards.
I discovered eating bananas makes me feel full quite easily. After two day of detoxing and near-fasting, my stomach was starting to get used to the little amounts of food I put in. I still felt weak, but not so bad till I couldn’t lift a book. In fact, I managed to lift normal weights at the gym. Felt more alert and energized during work because sleep has improved.
I tell ya, the only thing worse than dieting, is dieting when everyone gives you food FOR FREE. On the evening of day three, I was flown to KL to attend the Jay Chou event sponsored by a snackfood company. Imagine how difficult it was to stick to my diet plan then, I had to grit my teeth and say no to all the free snacks.
By the fourth day of detoxing, I start to see the difference in my “toilet activities.” The colour of the piss have turned clearer, and the mess I left in the toilet bowl also no longer resembled the Afghanistan warzone I created on Day One. That’s a good thing, right?
It’s the sign that the toxins are slowly exiting my system. Or maybe I’ve just secretly uncovered my talent of shitting beautifully.
Yesterday was the fifth and final day. I like how my body is feeling right now. I had a fantastic session at the gym. The bloatedness is gone, the pipes are definitely clean and the engines are running smoothly once again. The only thing I couldn’t get used to is having to go the loo so often. I spent so much time with the toilet bowl it’s becoming my soulmate.
But whatever I was doing, I must be doing it right.
My pimples are going away, my mental alertness has gone up, and best of all? I stepped on the scales just now and this is what I got.
Before I started detoxing, I weighed 88kg. Now I weigh 84kg. I lost 4kg in 5 days. Not bad huh?
I’m back to eating meat and regular portions of meals now, but I’m still drinking the detox tea every morning for maintanence. I reckon this is by far the easiest detox program ever. All I take everyday is a warm cup of TruDtox tea.
What I gotta do now is maintain my fitness and keep that weight OFF.
… after I finish this bowl of kolo mee! HEHE.
An old acquaintance of mine contacted me yesterday out of the blue. He owed RM48,000 to loan sharks, and wanted to borrow some money from me to help settle these debts. If he did not pay up, then “something bad will happen to him”.
That wasn’t the first time people I barely knew called me asking for help to bail them out of some ridiculously high bad debts. When will people learn to stop borrowing money from Ah Longs?