Datuk Application Form

Malaysia may be a great country, but there’s a lot of things here I don’t get.

One issue I constantly remain ignorant about is the issue of Datukship.

For the uninitiated, “Datuk” is an honorary title bestowed to outstanding citizens here by the Malaysian royal family. It’s akin to achieving knighthood in the UK where the receiver carries the title of “Sir”.

In literal terms though, the word “Datuk” translated from Malay means “Grandfather”. Over here in Sarawak, we have an even higher title called “Datuk Amar”, which means “Grandfather Grandmother”.

It seems as if the older someone is called, the better it is. So technically speaking, some super-ultra-high-ranking official would be called “Great Grandfather Datuk Ah Pek Uncle Auntie Ah Mah Ah Soh Lau Peh Lim Lau Bu”

While the vast majority of Datuks lead exemplary lives and contributed greatly to the community, in recent years however, “Evil Datuks” have appeared in newspapers on trial for cheating and corruption.

It begs the question: how do they decide who to award those elusive Datuk titles to?

There are countless people around us everyday who dedicated their lives helping people, serving the nation. It could be the caring doctor in the hospital, the selfless teacher in school, that 64-year-old man who rides around in a bicycle fixing up dangerous potholes in JB.

Yet, never in a million years would they dream of being awarded the honorary title of Datuk.

What seems to be clear is that all the Datuks have one thing in common: money. Lots of ’em. They are rich before they’re awarded Datukship and they’re a lot richer after they’ve been awarded Datukship.

Think about it. How many Datuks have you seen that are not rich?

Not trying to generalise nor am I trying to insinuate anything. Like I said, a good majority of Datuks genuinely earns and deserves the title. But hey, isn’t it somewhat of an open secret what tactics rogue Datuks employ to grab that title?

Who knows? Maybe there’s even an application form out there to make it easier for people wanting to become Datuk So-And-So.

e-DATUK APPLICATION FORM
Now Everyone Can Datuk!
First Name: Last Name:
Sex:
Male

Female

Screwing poor people over on a weekly basis
Street Address: State:
Country:


Nationality:    
IC Number:    
Date of Birth:    
Age:
* Don’t blame me. We like to ask stupid redundant questions in this country
Race:
Chinese

Indian

Bumiputera (* Got 7% Discount)
   

Choose your title.
 
Datuk (* RM 5,000)

Dato Seri (* RM 10,000)

Tan Sri (* RM 30,000)
   

Would you like a road name with that?
 


No

Yes (* Add RM 2,000)

   

How many companies do you want to become president of without doing anything?
(* Add RM 20,000 per company owned)
     

Would you like an AP from Rafidah Aziz with that?
 
No

Yes (* Add RM 2,000)
   

Number of boring speeches you can give at ceremonies.
(* Minus RM 500 per ceremony)
     

Number of boring dinners you can attend.
(* Minus RM 100 per dinner)
     

Do you require plastic surgery to create a permanent smile on your face?
 
No

Yes (* Add RM 5,000)
   

Number of traffic summons you’d like "mysteriously" disappear. *cough* *nudge*
(* Add RM 5 per summon )
     

Select a generic advice to give to the public when interviewed
     

How often do you want the newspapers to print your big fat grin on their front page?
 


Monthly (* Add RM 1,000)

Fortnightly (* Add RM 2,500)

Weekly (* Add RM 5,000)

Daily (* You crazy ah? )

   

Choose your preferred payment method.
 


Cash

Cheque (* Make cheque payable to DATUK-4-SALE SDN BHD)

Credit Card

Paypal


24-month 0% interest installment with Aeon Credit Service!

     


So I finally get to watch Gunung Belakang Patah over the weekend. On DVD of course, since it’s banned in cinemas here. It’s unfortunate that gays portrayed in movies shown here will always be restricted to comedic roles.
Brokeback Mountain is a great movie. Honestly, I totally enjoyed it, though it’s well… “different”. Meanwhile, check out these two hilarious Brokeback parodies.

175 Replies to “Datuk Application Form”

  1. haha actually it just occurred to me that you need a very looooooooong name to be a Datuk… like your Datuk-nametoolongitis-whatever post πŸ˜€
    i love the pix!

  2. The long heated discussion about people receving Datukship titles has long been scrutinised. I even know somebody who’s dad was awarded(bought cough..cough)his Datukship just for running a bloody casino. WTH???

  3. uh oh… I’m afraid you might really offend some ppl who’s fathers or relatives are datuks, even if it IS the general consensus amongst the public that datukships are usually bought (esp nowadays)

  4. datukship is overated.The tittle no longer reigns much status in the society.Simply put, the first question anyone would ask is “did he buy the title?”
    Then again fame and fortune is what everyone is searching for.Having some partnership status in any business with some Datuk is supposingly brings more fortune to the business.Can’t blame them either.

  5. Kudos Kenny, for a moment we thought you may have toned down your comedy and edge just to be oh-so-politically correct. I have relatives and close family friends who are Datuks, and ‘above’. I don’t feel offended at all – why should I; its not a personal attack or whatever.
    While I don’t think that they are all corrupt, they definately got it because of their success in commerce and enterprise. Just go through the list in the newspaper and do simple comparative statstics. For all relevant purposes outside the country, having a datukship is just an anecdote – sometimes a slightly embarassing one too.

  6. for PANDA, i think ur dad’s datukship is earned last time before the new millenium so i pressume he earned it the hard way.
    i do agree nowadays the datukship is like something that ppl can buy offshelf frm some royalties. money can make the ghost grind the ink rite? whoever got offended by this post should use their datukship to do some good rather than getting furious about it and talk big about nothing that they had done.
    good post!

  7. aiya..most of the DATUKs thingy they all very cheapsket one lah…makan tak bayar and cabut one..guess what, it happened to our DPM loh..came 62 ppl, end up only wanna pay 32 ppl..u said cheapsket or not?
    furthermore, those chinese ministers ah..same lah..came yumchar, 6 of them, after yumchar, push each other to pay bill and pretended wanna go washroom or walk off and didnt settle the bills. very ‘siah sui’ one!

  8. fyi, those extremely rich ppl that seems to contribute nothing to the society actually pay huge amount of tax (cause they rich la, profit of company = taxes for government). Think about how much uncle lim paid in his taxes. this made the whats his name hole repairing guy insignificant… the problem wiht malaysia is those top ranking officer that takes our money into their pocket. (and of course, u may argue that those datuk did just that)

  9. Datoship = Syok Sendiri Syndrome. No meaning one. At least the original Datuk or Ah Kong means you have grandchildren, nowadays the datoship has been tainted and really no value la.

  10. actually… when i came back to malaysia i heard my parents and friends and uncles/aunts… talking about this person becoming Datuk. i dun quite understand malay fluently and i thot.. ok the guy is getting old. WHY IS EVERYONE GETTING OLD??? Then someone had to explain to me wat Datuk in the name means. So wat do we call the malays granparents?? We can’t be simply calling them Datuk.. when they are not but they are but they are not…….but they are….

  11. a good entry. lucky you ain’t in singapore though, or the PAP would sue your socks off. with regards to politics and other ‘sensitive’ matters, they don’t have a sense of humour at all.

  12. well the more this ppl get datuk title the more corruption going on. But thing is how many of them can help to bring up malaysia’s economy? all lies in the hand of the nation? as at now we all suffer from the price hike of all food and beverages and yet gov ask us to change lifestyle? how to change when u one month need to eat 4 packet of rice then now change to 3? why not we just sell of our kids just for the sake to change our lifestyle? and those hawkers like no mercy one. Take opportunity at this price hike. I know u guys need to earn for aliving but thing is i doubt this increase will effect much on those who have tonnes of biz going on. only those infamous one baru la need to increase. Well hope u can feature something about this price hike in your next post Kenny. Take care!

  13. There is one Datuk lady – a famous former siner, what’s her name. She was in the courtrecentky for having a tiff with Siti Nurhaliza…

  14. Kenny has learned fast after spending 8 years in Perth. It is fun at first sight, you will be sick down the road.Wait until the election comes, you will see tons of ‘opening ceremony’ by these pig faces… and of course the useless newspaper front pages… 100 Datuks and Datins try to cut one lousy birthday cake.. stretching the arms and necks… SICK! SICK! SICK!

  15. cool kenny, don’t bother about what others say, it’s yr blog, say what u want, i mean it IS true why there shud be a 7% disc innit? salute yr bravado and wit though sometimes a bit dry hehe
    wooot

  16. Wahahahha! Yeah, I’ll dream on. Actually, I don’t find it appealing to be known as a Datuk. It’s so male dominated. It’s like calling me Sir Naomi, a famous female knight of the Round Table.

  17. you know my friend said you can earn a “datuk” if you donate blood for 50 times…!!
    Posted by: baby tomato at 13 March 2006 10:56 AM
    I donate few gallons of sperm before and yes I am a Tun Tan Sri Datuk Dr. now

  18. nice one kenny. hmmm… imagine ah. Datuk Kenny Sia. Jalan Datuk Kenny Sia. hahhaa. You know.. i always thought the road names with the datuk are all funny. coz..for example.
    Jalan Datuk Raf Run(thats me). Its like asking the taxi driver to go to my grandpa’s road.
    and then if u anyhow walk like u owe the road, some random frustrated guy will shout:
    “oi, u think this is ur grandfather’s road ah?”
    with my name there, i can confidently say, “Ya lah! Ah den?”

  19. altho i might agree it might offend some.. but hey. this isnt racial or any religious thing. its politics.. right? so its okay. i think. right? RIGHT? haiyo..

  20. You will get urself into trouble one day… This is not the America, you got no right to be sarcastic and even voice out…

  21. yes i agree with that.. but do u think this post is pretty dangerous??? after all.. this is Malaysia.. and u have to udnerstand that Malaysia have that kind of “freedom” which is not allowed… take k buddy~!

  22. Not fair. NOT FAIR. People who was born 1936 cant apply?! WTF… I was trying to defend justice for those who were born 1936 and earlier…
    I think i might see a Jalan Datuk Kenny Sia in Kuching few years from now huh… Or maybe Jalan Kenny Roggers sound better than… However Kenny Roggers in Kuching backrup loo….

  23. You simply being sarcastic and think it’s funny is because at this particular moment you haven’t need their help. btw, wat’s so wrong a Datuk being rich? Or just because you all can’t earn as much so you all just againsing those rich ppl? Wat we say in chinese, unable to eat the grape so complain the grape is sour? I wonder…

  24. Malaysia is not the only place where you can buy yourself a title.
    Apparently, you can do it in the UK too – peerages are now ‘for sale’. At least the public are allowed to gripe about it.

  25. Anonymous: if u dunno in real life who is kenny sia and what biz they into then well u are typically ignorant for saying unable to eat the grape so complain the grape is sour? well if it’s like that then u shud complain the grape is sour if u know who is kenny sia we are talking about. =) anyway it’s a fact about this Datuk thing……or did he step on your Datuk’s tail?

  26. I prefer datuks to be given to those who die for the country.. all Datuks should be stripped of their titles.. Tan Sris should become Datuks. Tuns should become Tan Sris..
    And to answer annonymous above, why would I need help in the first place as the problems are caused by Datuks in the first place?
    And by the way, do u mean without the Datuk title, u arent gona help me? U hypocrite.

  27. Your blog is very realistic. I hardly see anyone blogs about things like that nowadays. Anyway, i like your blog =)
    By the way, my fren’s dad is a Datuk and she buys imitations! Like, ew…
    Lost total respect to her, and her Datuk father too.

  28. That anonymous is funny… Can you tell me what help I can get from them? I am studying in the UK now, can give me scholarship datuk?

  29. that is..very insulting..not ALL datuks are rich.
    rich datuks BUY datoship
    but still.not ALL .some worked for it.seriously i know.

  30. This entry is meant to be insulting. It’s insulting only to those who obtained their Datuk titles through dishonest means as a stepping stone to secure business and political deals.
    There are plenty of Datuk who rightfully earned their titles through genuine humanitarian efforts, but they have nothing to be upset about because this post is not about them.

  31. these days, earning datukship title really arent very honourable anymore. everywhere you go, there’s probably 10 datuks nearby. with contributions or not you easily get one. ok, it’s not that easssy though, but still, too easily earned. like the ISO and HACCP to name a few. somehow, companies in malaysia has been on the rush to earn this status regardless of their field. even local public universities have ISO standards
    wow!!that’s not at all impressive because they still give me extremely lousy service at the academic counter. the staffs, going out for tea almost whole day. as for HACCP, even a pack of snack has the logo HACCP on it now. that’s a little ridiculous.think about having ISO toilets?
    some things arent necessary

  32. The 9:13pm Anonymous’ comment reflects what is fundamentally wrong with the country, that we have to either be someone or be closely connected to them in order to succeed. Using politics as a stepping stone for gaining personal financial success, and totally ignoring any social responsibility…that’s what we’re dissatisfied about. Comprende?

  33. Hello. I get where you’re coming from in regards to this entire fiasco about the datukship. It is a wide-held concensus that not only is it overrated, but it’s also stopped becoming not so much a status symbol but a commodity. It’s merely something that can be boasted about but has no material value whatsoever. This is seen in how common it is to be a datuk.
    However, this does not detract from the fact that some individuals have worked their ass off in the public service in order to attain this position – and we all know that being in the public service will not make you a killing, so in a way, it started off allowing these people to be able to garner a sense of satisfaction from a job well done, but then spiraled completely out of control and now we have states awarding datukships to run-of-the-mill regular joes.

  34. AWESOME stuff!! ahahah, absolute genius, the form! good job for telling it like it is. And for those who do not know how to take it with a pinch of salt and recognise a parody when they see one…how sad. only those who are either delusional, naive or utterly without a sense of humour will not get it. Moreover, why would anyone react so strongly unless its too close to home? Give it credit for being honest. And it obviously doesn’t apply to those who earned it.

  35. Hehehehe.. Funny indeed. From a Sgporean’s view, I’m always wondering why they’re so many datuks in the RTM news everyday. *laughs some more*

  36. some dumb-ass really fill in the datuk-ship form.
    i overheard a conversation over a “i-donno-what-that-function-is” dinner of 2 old man.
    old man 1: so, when are you going to be a datuk?
    old man 2: (though for 2 sec) when my children have kids, I’ll be a datuk!!!!
    me: (in my heart. ha!ha!ha! good joke ah pek!)

  37. Kenny, Brokeback Mountain wasn’t banned in Malaysia, the distributor thought it best to just not send the movie over (probably anticipating censorship and other methods that would render the movie less than perfect).

  38. Kenny,
    Damn nice one mate. But I have to say that “Datukship” in Malaysia is NOT equal to “Sir” (Knighthood) in the UK.
    The levels of the “Order of the British Empire” are listed below, alongside the Malaysian equivalent.
    Knight or Dame Grand Cross (GBE) = TUN
    Knight or Dame Commander (KBE or DBE) = TAN SRI
    Commander (CBE)
    Officer (OBE)
    Member (MBE) = I think Datuk sits somewhere here.
    My justification for why, is that there are TOO many people with “Datuk” to their name and it somewhat dilutes the intended “wow” factor. It now seems when you hear the title “datuk” to someone’s name you would think “how did they get it?”
    anyway, thats my 2 cents. more information in Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dato'_Seri#External_links)

  39. I agree. Most of the Dato’s paid for their titles. Actually, almost all states are charging for the title, except for Pahang’s.

  40. To Donatello and Choy, if you both don’t even know what help a Datuk can provide to a normal citizen then please don’t embarase yourself here, you don’t deserve to even give comment here. To be honest with you guys, I personaly got nth to do with Datuk or related with them or help by them b4, but that doesn’t mean that other ppl never help by them b4. So, our Datuk Michelle Yeoh and Datuk Nicol David is also quite rich, so did they bought their title? They help promoting Malaysia name. Ofcoz, I dont disagree with some ppl say that some of them using the name of Datuk to secure the business, but tell me, in which field there is a 100% all good guys out there? Not to mention bout in Malaysia, which conntry dare to say that all this title is 100% clean? If like what Xo comment here, I do agree, is reflecting to those who is really corrupted but for you two guys here, Donatello and Choy, I’m totally do not agree. If you think that Malaysia is really so corrupted and you are so unsatisfy then y don’t you just migrate to some other country and enjoy the kindness from them? See are their Sir or whatever shit is it, will it be better… If like What Kenny is saying here, his sarcastic here is really like reflecting to all Datuks, that I don’t agree..END!

  41. dude….u gotta critic your own country if you really care…point out weakness in the system (lots i say) and try to improve on it. if everyone sits down and keeps quiet when things go wrong…the country will collapse out of the blue and people like you will still be in a daze. Donatello and choy has every right to express their veiws just like you and you cant just shut them up like what rafidah tried to do with the press. no insults needed…just friendly coffe-shop chats.

  42. dear anonymous – perhaps you shouldn’t embarrass yourself with your standard of engrish.
    What’s wrong with being critical about corruption? Why can’t individuals comment without being told to move away? Why are you defensive anyway? you disagree with them, should you be told to move too?
    dude, if you don’t question the corruption in our country, things will never improve.

  43. haiya wanna be a champion datuk without paying? simple la… marry early and have a football team (must be all males)… then ask ur football team to marry early and have another football team… that’s champion datuk style…

  44. this is classic dude, CLASSIC!
    just for the record, if you
    head on to hokkienlang.blogsome.com
    for a laugh of your life, if you’re hokkien la.

  45. Anonymous,
    Do u need to be a Datuk to help others?
    U do not work hard for the Datuk title… There is no such thing as working for it.. U work to the most exemplary level and u get it, at the citizens recognition of ur contribution.
    U tell me the criteria now..how to work for it…My uncle mending holes on the road got knock down because he wana do this country a big favour.. RISKING HIS LIFE.. and he cant get a datuk.. director generals sit in office and get one..just coz they r director generals..
    Let me tell u.. directors come and go and are replacable.. My uncle mending holes on road come and die.. and are rarely replaceable.. Who deserves the Datuk more?
    Now businessman, mentang mentang u donate money.. u get datuk..
    What should I do? I already filled up the whole Kenny Sia form and I still cant get it..

  46. the only good thing bout malaysia is the food and weather, other than that i dont think theres any reason to stay in this place…infested with corruptions n shits…no freedom of speech…everything copy other country but failed miserably also…so fed up with this country, if i got the money to migrate i would have gone to other place long fucking time ago. [peace]

  47. anti everything, what a sad sod you are.
    I won’t give the people running this country too much credit, but that does NOT make Malaysia any less a great country to live in. It may not be a first world country, but it is still home.

  48. Hi Kenny, this is a good one. You should add a field in the e-Datuk application form for the applicant to check whether they would like to get an emblem or badge to be placed beside their car plate (and consequently, a badge for each of their isteri, anak2 and even anak’s girlfriend)!

  49. Hi, kenny,
    Do I really get discount If I’m bumiputra?
    By the way, your e-datuksip form can be written into malay or not? I don’t quite understand what does it mean screw poor people once a week.
    Thank you, I just got my SPM cert, am I eligible to apply for it?
    I have enough money for that, thank you.

  50. I did not say that do not question the corruption my friend. I aint goverment surpporter as well and I’m feeling worst ever since our petrol price got raised up again! U all still didn’t get my point, all I wana say is YOU ALL SHOULD STAND UP AND DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF SITTING UR BLOODY ASS HERE TYPING AND CRITICISING, if you want to talk about corruption, I can say we cant even finish listing down here even if we start to type for a whole damn night! That is what so wrong bout this country, but I still wanna defend for those really good Datuk. They are the one that helping us, citizen to fight for more rights. Y is canceling a saman is something bad?? Have you ever got saman from JPJ infront of your own house before?? That’s how those rubbish did to ppl in Penang, infront OF YOUR OWN DAMN HOME I WOULD SAY(CHINESE HOUSE) and never happen in all those Malay’s colony b4,so we need all this Datuks to help us settle it, is there anything wrong bout tat??? I wonder…
    dear Sook, my english is not that good, I admit that, frankly speaking, i’m from a chinese educated school, although my english is not that good, but i still dare to voice out. Or y don’t you speak to me in chinese? Cantonese perhaps? hokkien??? or tewchew??? I’m ok with it, atlease i know wat bullshit you speaking here, but do you even know how to write chinese??? I hope you can…haha!!

  51. I heard that there are two kind of datuks. One is conferred by the state, namely Dato and the other emmm…Datuk…Can anyone enlighten me on this, please??

  52. anonymous.
    hey, chill out. I didn’t say that your comments were not valuable. Don’t have to degrade mine.
    Can I speak Chinese? of course, I went to Chinese school till I was 12.
    Can I write Chinese? Not on this keyboard.
    Thanks for clarifying your remarks and I absolutely agree with you that we should do something. But we each have something we feel more strongly about – and for me, I join the ranks of NGOs fighting for women’s rights in MAlaysia.
    cheers

  53. “Would you like an AP from Rafidah Aziz with that? ”
    wahahahah this is CLASSIC! I love the 7% for bumiputeras as well. πŸ˜€

  54. ” You will get urself into trouble one day… This is not the America, you got no right to be sarcastic and even voice out…
    Posted by: Silence one at 13 March 2006 9:07 PM
    You simply being sarcastic and think it’s funny is because at this particular moment you haven’t need their help. btw, wat’s so wrong a Datuk being rich? Or just because you all can’t earn as much so you all just againsing those rich ppl? Wat we say in chinese, unable to eat the grape so complain the grape is sour? I wonder…
    Posted by: Anonymous at 13 March 2006 9:13 PM”
    To them —> move over old farts, the 20th century is over. go with the flow and you might all just end up over the cliff like a bunch of lemmings. the whole freedom of speech things again huh?
    well id agree that no country is perfect i mean isnt the basic unit for a community a household? even that isnt perfect. point is humans are never perfect and never will be that is why we have to constantly review where we stand and try to make it better. shutting people up will not achieve anything. if anything itd only make it worst cos the concerned individuals would be even more concerned and the problem would multiply.
    “There are plenty of Datuk who rightfully earned their titles through genuine humanitarian efforts, but they have nothing to be upset about because this post is not about them.
    Posted by: kennysia at 13 March 2006 11:10 PM”
    SPOT ON mate! youd only be ashamed if you actually HAD something to be ashamed of.

  55. If it is a reward for job well-done, the longest street sign should suffice. There is no need to emulate the British system which after all is modeled after the ant and the bee families. Have you actually been hypnotized by ant pacing back and forth aimlessly at all hours of the day? I have. And how intelligent do you think the ants and bees are?
    It goes beyond symbolizing everything there is about corruption and system coincidentally more suitable for the banana republic. No, itÒ€ℒs not the clothing store. It subdivides people into two groups: one of privileged, Mr. Datuk and one without and that would be Ah Beng. This really goes against the very basic principle of equality.
    Even if you donÒ€ℒt agree with me so far, the system should really go just on the point below: IsnÒ€ℒt it embarrassing if you were to introduce your name to the Queen and your name is longer than hers?

  56. kenny,
    commando Dan here. (we met at fh2o’s and during the krokong kayaking stint). someone plagarised with a picture from this thread in thestar.com.my… the blog section!!!

  57. Maybe it was a few years back… not sure..
    this Malay dude planned on crossing the English Channel. Star and Straits Time were all over him, at every training sessions, publishing his crap quotes and all..
    So he did it, coming out on the French side saying he wanted to give up but managed it with the thoughts and strength of bla bla bla crap more crap blood running out ot nostrils more bloody crap. In bout 19 hours???? Then he disappeared into a McDonald’s store and had some fries [kd]
    So he comes back to Malaysia. Specifically, Penang. That 26-year-old guy gets a Datukship. wow…like Kenny said, Datuk-ships are given to those who have served society brilliantly…Thank you Abdul Malik sumthin sumthin for proving that ONE Malaysian can swim across the Channel without being hit by a cargo ship. But wait, there’s more. The MB gave him LAND, in Penang. Penang, with its abundance of land and a car. The papers gave him front page story with this lengthy article that never led anywhere….
    Wow…swimming across the Channel gets you all that. Then everyone starts dreaming. I’ll get all that if I did what he did
    So one month later. A Chinese boy, Malaysian. Decides to do the same. Now he crosses in 12 hours and got out on the French side saying he did it coz he wanted to make his country proud…Good boy….Think he was 19 then
    What does he get?? A pic of him on the front page and a 4 paragraph article on Page 8 of The Star. No datuk-ship or crap. I think just about that. After that, furthered his studies, God bless . . . he must’ve got an iPod for himself after that. poor soul
    Moral of the story, to get faster Datuk status, convert to Islam, suck up to ur MB, pay ppl to talk nice bout you, And look forward to the annual Datuk list…Life’s so much easier and meaningless being that kind of Malay…
    peace

  58. Dear Kenny Sia,
    the government will soon to issue you an ISA arrest.Congratulations for the awards!
    *P/S:u 1 2 die ah,simply critic gov in isu TERSIRAT,later kena jailed don regret…

  59. Totally agree with the Malik story and the poor lil chinese kid story. Should’ve gotten at least a land and a car, considering he wasn’t the first. You think tht Malik dude is happy now? Doubt it.
    7% discount for bumis? There’s a reason why they call them bumis you know. Probably in Swak, Malays are not actually bumis unless you originated from Brunei. Pity the Red Indians who don’t get privilages from the government. Hey bumis! Appreciate the privilage, don’t goyang kaki and tunggu durian runtuh! Don;t complain Cina men are rich. They work hard for it! Some back stab (admit it, you also agree some back stab), but they still work hard for the money they earn! So buck up and don;t whine…
    Anyway Kenny, good post. Want a “Datukship” for it?

  60. thats hilarious!
    (and potentially offensive)
    bravo for saying it like it is..and then some…
    where can i get one of those forms to sign up? πŸ˜‰

  61. Kenny, you should put a bigger watermark in the CENTRE of your pictures and blend it so that people don’t easily rip your pictures off. DOWN WITH PLAGARISM!

  62. Dear Jonathan,
    please dont say that
    ” Moral of the story, to get faster Datuk status, convert to Islam, suck up to ur MB, pay ppl to talk nice bout you,…”
    I hate the phrase “convert to Islam”. Seems like u see all Muslim are useless and always suck up each other. I believe Kenny also dont want this kind of comment here. We are Malaysian, who cares bout the Datuk, as long as we live under one flag.
    Sorry if this comment disturb you.

  63. kenny,
    funny how a single post like this can stir such discussion. haha.
    i STILL like this post. who care what other people thinks right?
    i think there’s a saying-> siapa makan cili terasa pedasnya.
    πŸ˜‰

  64. kanasai.. just those ‘anonymous’ who dropped their comments.. got no balls? why ‘anonymous’? damn annoying seeing those sohais go around promoting political-correct-ism if there is such a word.. and it’s amusing to see comments like ‘ u 1 2 die ka? talk bad about our country.. bla bla.. later kena jail’ we just cant be critical in this country yeah???? fark the hypocrites! talking about being sissy.. πŸ˜€ in my opinion, being observant and critical of your country prove that you love you country, being quiet and sit there doing nothing is not..

  65. kanasai.. just those ‘anonymous’ who dropped their comments.. got no balls? why ‘anonymous’? damn annoying seeing those sohais go around promoting political-correct-ism if there is such words.. and it’s amusing to see comments like ‘ u 1 2 die ka? talk bad about our country.. bla bla.. later kena jail’ we just cant be critical in this country yeah???? fark those hypocrites! talking about being sissy.. πŸ˜€ in my opinion, being observant and critical of your country prove that you love you country, being quiet and sit there doing nothing is not..

  66. If you think that Malaysia is really so corrupted and you are so unsatisfy then y don’t you just migrate to some other country and enjoy the kindness from them?

  67. This is the funniest and realistist blog issue I have ever read.
    It purely defines the actual picture that is happening.
    I happened to know a Datuk awarded not more than a year and then he felt too many people in Penang has already got Datukship, did certain things and boom, he became Datuk Seri awarded by one of the states.
    To my amazement,what has he contributed to Penang?????

  68. Datuk is very common in time to come
    Vision 2020 For every 100 homes there is 1 Datuk
    For every 200 homes there is 1 Tan Sri
    Get your application form from Kenny
    Semua Boleh

  69. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060321/ap_on_re_eu/britain_loan_scandal
    not that people dont think it happens elsewhere but AT LEAST theyre critical of it and people CAN actually voice their disapprovals.
    “This is the funniest and realistist blog issue I have ever read.
    It purely defines the actual picture that is happening.”
    Posted by: Kennethng at 17 March 2006 2:42 PM
    Mate reading some of the comments are just as funny as the blog itself! πŸ˜€

  70. Oh Gosh! I used to work with the press… I cannot help but be tickled by this field that you put in the form:
    “Select a generic advice to give to the public when interviewed”
    well done!

  71. Plus, datuks never arrive on time for their invitations or functions. Everytime I attend an event, we have to wait until the datuk comes to launch it which is usually about an hour later than scheduled. Why should we respect someone that does not respect punctuality and the other guests? Maybe all datuks have their own time zone. We need an e-remove datukship suggestion form or “rakan datuk” sms service to complain about datuks…. don’t you think so?

  72. fatidiot: Actually, Johor datukship is the hardest to get. Every year, only one or two persons get the DPMJ and SMPJ and sometimes none at all! Also, the DPMJ (and the DPMK of Kelantan) are the only two datukships that are recognised to be equavalent to British knighthoods.

  73. hey..datuk kenny.
    you are just a sourgrape, got nothing better to do. So, if you think u can earn the datukship, go earn it! see what crap u are really made of! datuks need not be rich, but by the way you wrote it, i guess you can get a “Datuk” from me. Chop Kenny!

  74. When the Datuks becoe the majority, not having a title would be prestigous, and they’ll pay to have themselves stripped of the title.
    So everything would come full circle and the monarchy profits. It’s a win-win. Except for the poor masses but who cares?
    cheers

  75. kenny…the form should include another field that says….
    DO YOU PREFER A FAMOUS ARTIST TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE THAT YOU CAN DISCARD THE OLD ONE? O YES O NO
    SELECT THE ARTIST IF YES. (Exclude Siti coz another Datuk pow oredi)

  76. Datukshipsss…. funny huh… in indonesia, singapore or even thailand.. no body care about title.. only in malaysia people crazy bout them eg: tun.. tan sri… datuk… and even there are new title in sarawak.. “Pehin Sri” let see few years to come what other title “malaysia boleh” being created…

  77. otherwise than “special favours”, I have always wondered how a Johor datuk ever got conferred by Selangor sultan…till i found out their kids were college friends in UK…
    so much for datukships…

  78. I filled the above application form, but it did not process it?
    Is there a credit card payment form I need to fill?
    Please advise ASAP so I can become Datuk Bawa Meja Phat Long Dong.
    yours,
    Phat

  79. I have a friend that he is earning abt a million a year. But who named him datuk? Haha. It seem easy. And he is Singaporean. I’m gonna work hard to earn my 1st million. So . Named myself that.

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