Remember the push-up underwear for men I blogged about some time ago?
Well, I was in Singapore again recently, and I decided to visit the New Urban Male store and give this push-up undie a try, just to see how effective it is.
Yes, I know. The things I do for my blog.
A pair of push-up undies like this normally costs SGD$32.90 (RM75) but lucky for me, New Urban Male was running a buy one get one free promotion when I was there.
I think they’re trying to clear their stock because apparently Singaporean men don’t need help to push up their package. Either that, or they figured out that stuffing a banana down the undies is much cheaper.
So this is the undie. It’s black. It’s a brief.
It looks like any other undie except for this little strap.
What the strap does is that it holds the “man fruit” in place.
Theoretically, using the strap will push up the “man fruit”, making it look like a “brinjal” when in fact you got a “long bean”.
I don’t know how well that’s gonna work, so I went into the changing room (after I paid for it of course) and tried it on.
This is me before I wear the push-up undies.
This is me after I put on the push-up undies.
Is there a difference? I can’t tell. So I asked my female friends what they think.
Yes, I know. I’m a lucky guy. It’s not everyday you can ask girls to comment on your “man fruit”.
Here’s what they say.
Nadnut: Is it already on? How come like nothing one?
Estee Teo: Wow! Really got big difference leh!
Huiwen: OMG! HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG!
To be honest, it was kinda strange and uncomfortable walking around with a strap tied around my groin like that. My dick felt like it’s a pet animal, and I’m taking it out on a walk with a leash tied around its neck.
What’s worse, within a few minutes after I walked around wearing the push-up underwear, my dick starts to feel a little numb ‘cos the blood flow to my dickonosaurus is restricted.
Anyway, I decided to take it out for a real world experiment.
So there I was, standing confidently alongside the walkway at City Link Mall, wearing my C-In2 Push-Up Underwear, equipment strapped in, proud and hanging.
To my utter dismay, almost every girl who walked passed didn’t even BOTHER giving me a freaking glance to my pushed-up man fruit!
Even the middle-aged aunties who walked past couldn’t care less about my dragon balls!
That’s ridiculous. I am so disappointed.
What for I buy this stupid push-up underwear if none of the girls are giving willing attention to my willy!?
Then, just when I was about to give up, something happened…
RUN KENNY, RUN!
naeboo: Get me some Sarawak pepper next time you’re in KL pls.
Kenny: Hey yo, ya wan me to get ya sum white pepper or black pepper, yo?
naeboo: Black peppercorns, ma nigga! thx man.
Kenny: Ya want dem black nigga peppa ground or with balls, yo?
naeboo: Dayam, nigga! Wut country yo mama got ’em peppercorns from tht got ground? I dun need no peppa dat can’t fly! I want ’em peppa wit balls as much as balls got hair, ya hear?
Kenny: Fo shizzle, ma nizzle. Peace out!