I first encountered Ansell’s range of vibrating condoms whilst browsing through Bek’s photo blog. Curious, I went straight to the nearest pharmacy I could find to purchase this elusive vibrating condom to see what its all about.
Ansell vibe4u Vibrating Condom comes in a nicely designed red package – a nice departure from the ubiquitous “man and woman holding hands” type packaging that Durex seems to favour. For our convenience, the battery is included for the vibrating ring.
I can’t believe I paid AUD$12.95 (RM35) for this thing! This is just one condom and some buzzing cock ring we’re talking about! Mannn… the money I’m sacrificing for this site.
The top of the box tells you once again that battery is included, so that you don’t have to rush off to 7-Eleven to purchase some batteries in the middle of your coital session. The condom is regular size, which is no good to me since mine is extra large.
Here’s the content of the box: an Ansell catalogue, a vibe4u instruction booklet, a regular condom, and the vibrating ring. I kinda like the wrapping of the vibrating ring. It reminded me of the crappy toys that came with the Ding Dang chocolates.
The Ansell catalogue is damn cool. It shows you the range of different condom shapes available, so you choose the one that fits you better. Kinda like Levi’s jeans. I’m still waiting for a Boot Cut Condom to come along.
The vibe4u instruction booklet sheds some light on the use of this product. Apparently, the battery on the vibrating ring lasts for fifteen minutes only and is not replacable. It also asks you to take some precautions when using the vibrating ring, such as:
– Do not use under the influence of alcohol or drugs (What? C’mon! I’m just using a vibrating ring, not a freakin’ CAR!)
– Do not swallow (And why exactly would I swallow it?)
– Keep away from children (sorry Michael Jackson, this one is not for you.)
Oh look! Pornography on kennysia.com! Teehee. Here, Ansell shows you how to put on a condom. Frankly speaking though, I think the illustration sucks (no pun intended). Don’t you think the penis look like some sort of carrot wearing a baseball cap?
Anyway, its time for me to experiment with this vibrating condom thing. I wanted to try it on myself, but my genitals went on strike at the thought of appearing on the internet. So once again I had to find a sacrifice. Meet my blueberry flavoured Vodka Cruiser.
Here’s a picture of the vibrating ring up close. The AUD$1 coin (similar in size to the RM1 coin) is there for comparison. The ring itself is made of some gel-like silicone. There’s a little switch on the side there. You push it in and the gentle vibrations will start.
The Ansell condom itself is made in India. I have to say, it comes very very very lubricated. There’s a slight, but not overwhelming, latex smell.
Okay, so I was wrong about it being just a regular-sized condom. Look at THAT, it fits the whole 7/8th of the ENTIRE BOTTLE of Vodka Cruiser!!! So much for a regular size. I reckon these condoms must have been made for elephants down in India!
This is what it looks like when you put the vibrating ring on. Looks odd. How often do you see a bottle of alcohol with a vibrating ring around its neck? I switched on the vibrating ring, and felt a gentle buzz permeating to the palm of my hand. Pleasurable.
So what do I think about this whole vibrating condom thing? Well its a novel idea, certainly worth trying out on something else other than a bottle of alcohol. But I reckon the AUD$12.95 price tag is a little bit steep. If a normal condom cost AUD$1, you’re paying an extra AUD$12 just for some stupid vibrating ring that can last for only 15 minutes. I don’t know, but 15 minutes seems a little bit short. *grins*
My suggestion:
1. Get a normal condom
2. Get some rubber band
3. Using rubber band, tie your mobile phone to the condom
4. Call your own phone. And don’t bloody answer your phone while its still attached to your dick dammit!
It works the same way, I swear!
two thumbs up for your ingenuity ! 😀
so the vibrating condom is a male sex toy per se or to enhance the female’s experience?
haha I think I’m dying in my epileptic fits of laughter HAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy crap man haha I was gonna buy one too — just for the sake of it — till I realised I could have bought 43.17, 30cent soft-serves from McDonald’s or Burger King so I gave it a rest hahaha but you’re right, fifteen minutes is a bit short — how about we make it 45? :-p
LOLz… Actually, I’ve seen one of those in Kuching.. And it wasn’t sold in a pharmacy but by a dealer at my workplace.. Mind you.. It was sold at my workplace and one of my colleagues bought it to try it out like what you just did!
And regarding your post on Valentine’s Day… It’s not every Valentine’s that we girls need to have flowers and candlelight dinners… I personally prefer to spend some quiet time at home together or go clubbing together… I totally agree that what is most important is that we have each other…
15 minutes? how sad.
yer suggestion bout de handphone could be done well. ur a true inventor. =)
lol … celaka, wheni reach the last pic .. it was damn funny man … haha, but then again with the phone attached to your “brother”, then the other counterpart will have to accomodate the size of your brother and the phone? hmmm what happens of any of those fluids on the phone causes shocks? who is to blame, the phone comp or you?
hahaha freakin hilarious man!
mm u actually tried the hp thingy ah? how come u know it works =p
anyway, u just waisted $12 on that? what the? and not use it some more? wahh..its alright, u’re earning big bucks anyway
lol great post! btw.. i don think SE phonese are water proof.. not even 700i 😛
haha freaking hilarious. but i think this is the dumbest product ever! y would u want vibration on the base of ur dick? they should put it at the tip of the condom… i think with each penetration, the thing is to stimulate the girl’s clit. but for a intensive 15 min of pounding, i think that’s to ensure the girl gets at least one sure orgasm.
HAhahah….this has gotta b the funniest blog i’ve seen so far! Did u really try on the vibrating mobile phone thingy? Anyways….good job n keep it up!
charlyn – Two thumbs up is actually not enough if you want to apply a condom. Heh.
kimcun – yes! i think you’ve just hit the spot.
Bek – Haha! You are proof that as far as women are concerned, desserts are better than sex! 45 minutes sound about right. But I’ve heard its not the length that counts, its how you use it. 😉
annabella – I hope your colleague didn’t try it out on someone you know. Heh. About V-day: What? You won’t feel left out if all your girl friends have flowers from their bfs and you have none?
Victoria – How about having the handphone set on vibrate AND play the Jenna Jameson Moan Tone?! How about THAT? Damn I’m a genius. I amaze myself sometimes.
earl-ku – who is to blame? the guy stupid enough to follow Kenny Sia’s advise and straps his handphone to his dick, that’s who!
chrissie – actually i still have the vibrating ring. you want? *sniggers*
MunKit – True. If that’s the case, you might actually have to put the phone INSIDE the condom. Then again…
cccp – If you put it at the tip of the condom, you might have to do some fishing if it gets lost in the abyss, see?
Justina – Thanks Jus, I’ll definitely keep it up, even if that meant popping a few viagra pills.
oooooooo vibrating condoms. i would lOve to have a go with one of those.. wonder if they sell them in malaysia… thanks for the update! caught my attention there now i’m really intrigued
hahaha omgg the lengths ppl go thru in the name of blogging huh? ;] kudos!
Wow, never knew ppl would come up with stuff like this! XD Just hope nobody gets electrocuted doing this, but then again, with a little battery like that, perhaps they’ll just get a mild shock which they could mistake for an orgasm 😉
u made my day….hahha.. im still laughin now!
My colleague was just curious… LOLz… Well, flowers are not a necessity… Candlelight dinners would be more romantic if dinner was cooked together and done at home rite? Gifts are fine… Something nice and special… Doesn’t matter if it isn’t something I’ve hinted.. As long as it means something to both of us…
oh my gawd that’s scary-lookin!! LOL =P
Reta – Some things may look scary, but turn out to be nice once you tasted it. eg. Durian. 😉
annabella – Question is, who do the cooking? Who do the washing? Guys rite? SEEEEEEEE? jk lah. You are one in a million girls to think that way, and that’s a good thing. I’m sure your partner will be very happy.
tedy – man to man, saying ‘you made my day’ in this context is a bit….
applegal – I would be very surprised if someone gets electrocuted. At least they die happy.
*lilyng – you said ‘lengths’, haha!
vanessa – well, first you gotta get laid, you know?
haha! u r funny!
couldnt find the google ads stuff to click for you though!!
your mobile phone can vibe more than 15 minutes at once call???
i will remodel it!
BATTERY -> PLUG 🙂
Hey Kenny, I stumbled onto your blog somehow. Your April Fool’s post really cracked me up so I decided to read your other posts. Gosh, you’re one hilarious guy! Good job there! I look forward to reading more of your postings. =)
Ok so I actually tried the vibrating condom with the little capsule thing and it feels brilliant!
It seemed to work really gud just as ur about to cum and it’s vibrating under the base of ur dick… marvelous!
Anyho… do try it – it makes ur dick feel numb after 15mins so 45mins wud turn ur sausage into a cherio.. and on that note… cherio!
My man, your insensuous appetite for such “gadgets” makes you a good candidate next to Ron Jeremy 🙂
pfffwhhooooarrrrrr
Must be some special girl can fit in a vibrating mobile phone as well as a huge bottle like that!
i laughed so hard I nearly crap my pants.
small dick
I think I’m a little late in posting this… It’s cuz i just recently caught on to the Kenny Sia Crazeand read this post and found it very heartfelt… anyways…I get really frustrated and I mean REALLY! frustrated, when my gf does the try-guess-wat-i’m-thinking-now stare at me…I’ll always be at lost… It’s like playing hang-man, wen i guess wrongly, i die a horrible death; when i guess it correctly i’m like “YES!! SCORE bebeh!!” and i do the vitory dance in my mind, but outside i look calm and cool like i knew what she was thinking all along…
But then if i think properly… it actually makes sense how gals think…they want you to guess what they feel cuz they wanan find out how much you know them… i know its a wierd way, but if you turn to your femenine side, it actually feel a little right. DAMN! there were SO many times i wish i could read minds….
p/s: props to KENNY SIA! he and his posts RULES!! Mianly cuz i’m form Sabah, and we from same piece of land, although quite far away… proud to be form same piece of land with you man…
damn i’m a Noob….i clicked ‘post’ in a different blog…and it ended up here..sorry if i sounded stoopid everyone…
A bit too big to fit, right? Unless her chibai is a cow’s. (What about ‘call waiting’, I wonder…)
=_=!!!
the last pic..i cracked up! i
m going to go look at it again and laugh myself silly…
check this out…http://www.lowbright.com/Comics/10Commandments/10Commandments.htm
Sicko..!!! Experimenting condoms on ketchup bottle, and now vodka bottle?!?!?! Mahai you’re damn fuckin funny and very sick as well… LOL.
Hello…Lin Peh wan to blog about this vibrating condom in my tok3tok4 blog. Can I pinjam a few pictures from your posting ? Will post a link back to u. Thanks in advance.
damn informative man. step by step picture some more.
ermm….but i think the condom is not for your own play lah. it’s for you to stick into something…and how are you suppose to stick the stick, condom and the handphone into somewhere? must be damn big hole!
LOL…*rolling around in bed
2 thumbs up to u Kenny…u such a good sifu to those guys out there..!!!
Hehe you had the Sony Ericsson K500i? So did I, lol.
And how innovative. X) Technically I shouldn’t be reading this since I’m like 13, but oh wells.
i dont know what to think about this new found condom i just wonder how if it’s being slapped over and over again and again how is it not breaking?
>ermm….but i think the condom is not for your >own play lah. it’s for you to stick into >something…and how are you suppose to stick >the stick, condom and the handphone into >somewhere? must be damn big hole!
Yeah your mama’s pretty loose 😉
ROTFLMAO! Yours IS a novel idea! Who knows guys won’t do it?
Haha. Good one, Kenny! Only you can think of such things! Like the World Cup football post, I nearly fell off me chair!
OMG!
boys will start ‘playing’ their handphones now
hehe
loll
now thats the real truth behind all that toy stuff. And ppl actually bought it! Thats wat i call Looks can be sooo deceiving!
i dun find this hilarious..
Mobile Waves kill sperms
WTF! LOL! so much for the lil sperms to survive! no lil kennies!
ya, use nokia 3310 for better experience!
shiz…the part using the handphone made me spray my monitor with cincau… hahahahah